Whole Heart Transformation

Join me today as Dr. Debi Silber and I discuss Post Betrayal Transformation.Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. 

We can't heal what we don't feel and we can't heal what we don't face.

Listen as I share what stops your healing and how to get to where you can face reality and heal. Contact me at: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Subconscious loyalty involves feeling a strong need to protect our parents, whether it's their image or our feelings about them. Ultimately, this can hinder your healing.

The root of our pain is surprising to many. That's because. facing and feeling reality isn't something we feel capable of. So whatever is causing the pain now (like betrayal or any other pain) we find ourselves focusing on that and not getting relief. Join me today as I share more and how to finally get relief from the trauma once and for all.

Many partners of sexual addicts (or any addiction) believe that if they were enough their addicted partner would stop their addictive behaviors. In this episode, I will discuss WHY you can't be enough and what you need to do instead.

Many of us didn't have the security in our upbringing to just be and be ok. Our parents (for most of us) didn't have the tools, skills or understanding of what children needed. When our parents don't help us see the world in a connected healthy way, we have no other option but to split off from the shame we feel because of it. Join me as I share a little more about this from the perspective of parts work and how we can get on the healing journey.

Take a listen as I give real practical understanding of what could be stalling your healing and how to change it. Want to get coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Ever wonder why you keep dealing with the same issues in your marriage? Here's some common reasons that you may not have known. Want couples coaching that's transformative? Go here: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Do you ever wonder why you have internal conflict? Does it seem like one part of you wants to do one thing and another part wants to do another? Do you find yourself doing things that you hate and aspects of yourself that you hide from others? Then this podcast today is for you. Join me as I talk about different parts of us, how these parts get exasperated and how to heal so we don't continue to do things we don't like. Want to get coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Today's special guest, Blaine Bartel shares his very HONEST and vulnerable story of a life involving secrecy, porn addiction to affairs. While Blaine's story is heart breaking, his comeback story (after being told his likelihood to recover would be a shear miracle) is what has transformed the lives of many men, including my husband. You'll hear not only Blaine's story but also, how Blaine was the first beacon of hope for us when my husband was in his darkest hours in his addiction. To get help through Blaine's ministry and to learn more, go to: https://www.blainebartel.com/houseofresurrection https://www.blainebartel.com/houseofresurrection Interested in my coaching? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/

It's a common thing I hear from people that because we are adults, we should act and think differently than what we were raised with. The problem with this thinking is that it goes against how we are designed. We are designed to carry our parents with us internally. For security and safety. However, not everyone had a safe and secure childhood. The results remain the same. We carry our childhood with us good or bad. To heal, we have to do work to unravel this in our brain and body. Take a listen to today's podcast as I share more. Want help? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact for my coaching services.

Join me as I talk about why some people heal and some people don't. Does this speak to you? Are you ready to heal? Go to: https:https://identitylife.coach/contact for my coaching services.

Join me today as my husband and I discuss some of our journey to secure attachment after betrayal. Want to get coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact 4 horsemen of the Apocalypse by the Gottman's: 1. Criticism 2. Contempt 3. Defensiveness 4. Stonewalling https://counselinghuntsville.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/07/Repair-Checklist.pdf

Ever wonder why you do the things you do? Or why you think the way you think? Today I will be discussing some of the reasons we end up the way we do and what we can do about it. Want coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Join me today as I interview Shannon and Kendra as they share their story from addiction, betrayal and real transformation. Shannon and Kendra have walked the fire of betrayal and recovery. After many failed attempts, they got healing and relief. This is their story and it's powerful! They are now a part of our Character Formation Coaching crew. I am honored to have them share their story! Want to get coaching with them? Go to: https://www.feelinganddealing.coach/ or email Kendra: kendradisney@ymail.com Want coaching with me? Or to get coach training? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Curious to understand how people can do destructive things and also have an aspect of themselves that did good things too? Join me today as I unpack this and what I have learned about the, "How". Want to be coached by me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

When considering why we get triggered, can't empathize, people please, need to escape pain through numbing out behaviors (even ones that seem harmless) , or we just, "Can't!" We are talking about internal capacity to handle the difficulties (or even joys) of life. Need support? Go to:https://identitylife.coach/contact

Ever feel like you have so much love to give but the people you love can't receive it? Or maybe you feel like something is wrong with you because they can't receive your love? If you find yourself in this place, this will be such a helpful podcast to understand why and maybe why you take it personally. Want to receive my coaching services? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Join me today as I discuss the importance of emotional growth. Interested in my coaching or my groups? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Shame is a belief that something is so wrong with me that if people knew me, they wouldn't love me. Shame keeps out love. Take a listen today as I share more and give insight on how this can impact individuals and relationships. Looking for help? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact⁠

Join me today as I had the honor of interviewing Brandon Doerksen. He's leading the way in helping men into healthy masculinity and healthy marriages. His insight on emotional health is so powerful! I hope you gain wisdom and hope as you hear him share his story and how he's currently impacting others. Want to join his men's community? You can join here: https://app.groundedmen.co/checkout/grounded-mens-community-membership?via=melissa Want more resources from Brandon? Click here: https://linktr.ee/brandontalksmarriage?utm_source=linktree_profile_share Are you a partner who wants support and really heal? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/ for my coaching services.

Anger is a part of the grief process. When we are not in touch with anger or if it has become our first emotional response, there is most likely a place where anger was the safest emotion to express rather than deep sadness. On the opposite side, frozen anger ( when we aren't even connected to it) could reveal that we aren't even in touch with grief in many ways. Which means we could be disconnected from reality. Listen as I shared further about this on today's episode. Want to join a group or get some coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Here's some key steps to awareness of how generational pain and trauma gets passed down and how to stop passing it. Interested in my coaching? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Grief is a part of life. Many of us weren't taught how to grieve. Science is revealing the deeper harm that is caused to ourselves when we don't process emotions, but not only does it cost us, it costs future generations as well. Take a listen as I share how avoiding grief is harmful and what you can do about it. Interested in my coaching? Go to https://identitylife.coach/contact

Many times when we attempt to deal with the issues we are facing whether that is overeating, not working out, addictions, inability to stop yelling at our kids or whatever else we could put on the list, we need to get to the root. All the behaviors are just symptoms of soil and root issues and not the problem itself. Most of the work I see people attempt to do is behavioral management. This doesn't get to the roots. It's cutting off the fruit. Which means that eventually the old fruit will be produced at some point again. You can take that to the bank! Today I share how to get to the roots so you no longer produce the fruit that you don't like. For my coaching services go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Join me today as I talk with my good friend and coaching colleague Annie Perkins as we discuss very real issues within church culture. And some of our ideas to be healthier as a church and bring transformation instead of judgement and aloneness. If you'd like to learn more about Annie's service you can go to http://Charactergrowthcoaching.com or Charactergrowthcoaching@gmail.com

Wondering why you are going back to the same things and having the same problems? Today I will be talking about the "why" and how to change PERMANENTLY. Interested in coaching with me? Go to: https://identitylife.coach/contact Want to discover your values and grow in them? Get my Daily Values book here: https://identitylife.coach/resources

Many of us want to avoid emotional pain. We will do anything not to sit with it and avoid it at all costs. But in order to heal grow and change, we have to face it. Without facing the pain head on, we will find ourselves repeating painful cycles. Join me today as I share how to face the pain and what to expect on the other side. Interested in my coaching? You can contact me here: https://identitylife.coach/contact

Have you gone through hardships that have left you joyless? Has betrayal hit your relationship and you feel as if you're sinking in grief with no way out? Join me today as I address what happens to our brain when we aren't getting the proper chemical in our brain and body that give us joy and how to gain joy back even in the midst of grief. Want support that is transformational? Contact me here: https://identitylife.coach/contact

There are 2 main components to getting our healing process started. Without these 2 components, we won't even begin the process of healing. Take a listen as I share these components and next steps! Want support? Go to www.identitylife.coach to connect with me and my coaches.

Attachment is the very foundation of our beginning as a human. If that foundation isn't developed properly in childhood, we will be left with attachment deficits in adulthood. Want to join one of our groups or experience coaching one on one with me? go to identitylife.coach to sign up!

Join me today as I share my story from the lens of healing and post traumatic growth. Want to expeirence my coaching or my coaching groups? Go to www.identitylife.coach to get on my waitlist

Reach out for support and start your healing journey. www.identitylife.coach

Join me today as I share some of the most powerful and impact ways to heal

Our body carries our story more so than our brain. When we become curious with the signals our body is attempting to point us to we can begin to heal as a we discover what it is trying to say. When we avoid curiosity, we stop the healing process and stifle our growth. Join me today and I talk about examples from my own healing journey and some of my clients who have overcome with simple curiosity for what is happening inside.

Self reflection is a skill we learn in childhood. If we aren't able to self reflect, we won't be able to discover how to heal and change. Listen, as I share how I help my kids learn to self reflect and how you can learn to even if you didn't gain the skills in childhood so you can grow and heal too.

There is a real need to heal when betrayal hits your life. Here are some reasons why looking for healing from your betraying parter won't heal the deep pain.

Many people believe that once you become an adult that your childhood experiences are no longer an excuse or reason for how you show up as an adult. Unfortunately nothing could be further from the truth. Join me as I share my journey and the journey of supporting others in their process to healthy, secure attachment.

False connection is a fleeting experience. It is not sustainable but we do this because it appears that it will make us feel better and fill the deep hole inside. Hook culture is breeding avoidant attachment and leaving many people more lonely than ever before. It's a real concern. Take a listen as I share more about the concerns and what can be done to change and heal.

How infidelity shatters the soul and the process to heal.

Embodied beliefs are what we experience as beliefs in our whole body. The only way to heal these beliefs is to feel them all the way through. Listen for how in todays podcast.

Our childhood either prepares us to be healthy adults, or it leaves us to grow up with deficits and unable to deal with difficult situations.

Why you may not be experiencing real transformation and how to get there.

Ever wonder if you can/should share your emotions or experiences with people, and later regret sharing because of how they respond? I will share 7 signs of emotionally safe people so you can understand what to look for when leaning in to share. And so you can understand for yourself if you are an emotionally safe person.

In order to mature in emotional intelligence, you have to recognize where you are deficient.

Anger is good! Many of us were taught that it was bad or we witnessed out control anger so we don't know how to express it at all or we don't know how to express it in a healthy way. I will discuss these facets of anger and how to heal.

Empathy, Sympathy, Empaths and none is the topic of discussion for today. If you find yourself wondering why you may fall into any of these categories, here's some reasons why.

The root is the fruit of all behaviors that we don't want or like. And that root is always disconnection and aloneness. Join me today as I talk in depth on why this is the root and how to heal.

Notice that you complain more than you like? Or that you complain attempting to be heard but don't get the needs met that you were hoping to be met?Take a listen to why you might be doing this and what's underneath the complaints and how to change it.

Struggling with facing difficult realities? In this podcast I will share why we struggle and how to start facing reality so you can heal.