As Told by Kole

Hey, y'all!!! I hope all is well! Today's episode is all about not letting people punk you and make you feel unworthy because you have a mental health challenge. We ain't even going out like that! Enjoy today's episode, and be sure to sign up for class! http://nakolewatson.com/masterclass

Hey y'all hey!!! Today's episode is full of transparency, a semi-sermon and all of that! It's all about how sometimes we fear being great because of the responsibility that comes along with it as well as the pain inflicted by others who were to us what we are now called to be to others. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it teaches you something! When you're done listening, be sure to hop on over to http://nakolewatson.com/masterclass to register for "I Love God, but I HATE my Life" that happens on Thursday, May 28, 2020! Much love! - Na'Kole

Hey y'all hey!!! Today's episode is nothing but love for the LGBTQ Community. You are seen. You are heard. You are LOVED!!! This episode may be triggering for some, so if things about LGBTQ people, inappropriate touching, etc. trigger you, go ahead and skip out on this one. Nothing but love for you! Resources mentioned: http://TheTrevorProject.org, The SAGE LGBTQ Elder Hotline (888-234-7243) and the Trans Lifeline (877-565-8860 for USA, 877-330-6366 for Canada). Visit http://NaKoleWatson.com to connect with me! Talk soon!

Hey y'all hey!!! It has been soooooo long since I have been on the podcast scene! Way too long! I'm back tho, with another season full of awesome INspiration and empowerment! I'm so excited about that! Today's episode is about undiagnosed mental health issues. I give y'all my theory about why so many people go undiagnosed. Be sure to share this episode with someone who may need it! Also, be sure to visit http://nakolewatson.com to connect with me and get even more good stuff! Be lifted!

Hey everybody! I did a teaching last night on Facebook Live and I talked about how important the two words "I AM" are. Everyone was so blessed by it that I decided to turn it into a podcast episode! Enjoy! XOXO, Na'Kole   Join the As Told By Kole Family!!! Subscribe to receive podcast notes, updates, special offers, bonus teachings... and MORE! Join the Fam! We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered By ConvertKit .formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] *{font-family:"Helvetica Neue",Helvetica,Arial,Verdana,sans-serif;box-sizing:border-box;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] legend{border:none;font-size:inherit;margin-bottom:10px;padding:0;position:relative;display:table;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] fieldset{border:0;padding:0.01em 0 0 0;margin:0;min-width:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] body:not(:-moz-handler-blocked) fieldset{display:table-cell;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] p{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;font-weight:inherit;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"][data-format="modal"]{display:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-input,.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-select,.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-checkboxes{width:100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit{border:0;border-radius:5px;color:#ffffff;cursor:pointer;display:inline-block;text-align:center;font-size:15px;font-weight:500;cursor:pointer;margin-bottom:15px;overflow:hidden;padding:0;vertical-align:middle;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit:hover,.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit:focus{outline:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit:hover > span,.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit:focus > span{background-color:rgba(0,0,0,0.1);}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] .formkit-submit > span{display:block;-webkit-transition:background-color 300ms ease-in-out;transition:background-color 300ms ease-in-out;padding:12px 24px;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input{font-size:15px;padding:12px;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;-webkit-flex:1 0 auto;-ms-flex:1 0 auto;flex:1 0 auto;line-height:1.4;margin-right:15px;-webkit-transition:border-color ease-out 300ms;transition:border-color ease-out 300ms;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input:focus{outline:none;border-color:#1677be;-webkit-transition:border-color ease 300ms;transition:border-color ease 300ms;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input::-webkit-input-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input::-moz-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input:-ms-input-placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] input::placeholder{color:#848585;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="dropdown"]{position:relative;display:inline-block;width:100%;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="dropdown"]::before{content:"";top:calc(50% - 2.5px);right:10px;position:absolute;pointer-events:none;border-color:#333333 transparent transparent transparent;border-style:solid;border-width:6px 5px 0 5px;height:0;width:0;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="dropdown"] select{height:auto;width:100%;cursor:pointer;color:#333333;line-height:1.4;margin-bottom:0;padding:0 6px;-webkit-appearance:none;-moz-appearance:none;appearance:none;font-size:15px;padding:12px;padding-right:25px;border:1px solid #e3e3e3;background:#ffffff;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="dropdown"] select:focus{outline:none;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="checkboxes"]{text-align:left;margin-bottom:20px;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="checkboxes"] [data-group="checkbox"]{margin-bottom:10px;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="checkboxes"] [data-group="checkbox"] *{cursor:pointer;}.formkit-form[data-uid="abc5d5400e"] [data-group="checkboxes"] [data-group="checkbox"]:last-of-type{margin-bottom...

Hey, y'all!  I'm back on! Today's episode is somewhat of a "bridge"...  I'm working on new branding, content and all kinds of stuff for you all... so come back tomorrow for the update episode! XOXO, Na'Kole   P.S. - Be sure to join my online community by leaving your name and email address!   I would LOVE for you to join my online family!   [convertkit form=719741]

LISTEN!!!  It's Rodney's BIRTHDAY!!!!  What a better way to celebrate him than to air the awesome interview it did with him!  Enjoy his humor, wisdom and insight - and be sure to wish him a HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!   Instagram: _RodneyPowell Twitter: Rods_Remarks Facebook: Rodney Powell

Hey there!!!  Today's episode is all about empowering the black man.  I'm so so so excited to be bringing you this power-packed interview with my buddy Khas Dock! I'm just gonna drop his contact information and be on my way.  Have an epic day!  Show love to yourself and others.  Be great!  I speak life to you and to everyone and everything connected to you! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥   Khas A. Dock • Grace Agent/Author/Ghostwriter/Blogger/Speaker Twitter, Instagram & Snapchat: @KhasDock Facebook: Khas Dock

FAM!!!  Long time, no talk.  I'm telling y'all...  The fight I've had to go through to get these podcasts to you has been UNREAL!  However, that just lets me know that I'm on track.  I'll keep fighting as long as it means that we keep winning! Today, let's finish up our interview with Mr. Marques Harrington!  This interview was soooooo dope, and Marques dropped A LOT of amazing knowledge and insight!  I enjoyed interviewing him not just because he's one of my best friends, but because he is highly intelligent and super dope! Be sure to let me know how you feel about the content shared today.  I'd love to hear from you!  You may comment on the podcast or on this blog, or ANYWHERE on social media using the hashtag #AsToldByKole!  I look forward to reading your comments! Aye!  Don't just take this information for yourself.  Encourage, uplift and inspire a black man by sharing this podcast with them!  There are many more to come, so be sure to check back tomorrow! If you want to connect with Marques, you can visit him on Facebook: Marques Harrington or follow him on Twitter @IndelibleMarq - be sure to tell him you heard the podcast! Have an amazing day today!  Show love to yourself and others.  Be great!  I love and appreciate you!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Hey family!  Long time no podcast! I have been revamping and reworking things, AND THEN I had some technical difficulties... but I AM BACK! As you know, this month, I'm gonna bring you awesome interviews with amazing African-American men.  Why?  Cuz why not?  Today's interview is with the awesome and amazing Marques Harrington, who is a teacher with Pitt County Schools and a Youth Pastor serving a Faith Church, Greenville! I will post my takeaways from this interview after it has fully aired, but this was a great episode!  Enjoy, share, and feel free to comment!   XOXO, Na'Kole 

You know how it is.  You go to bed at night determined to be productive the next day.  You get up and get ready for a killer day of productivity and results, and little by little, more and more things come to take your focus.  It happens more often than not, right?  Yeah.  I know all about it.  ALL ABOUT IT.  My focus has been completely gone for almost two weeks.  COMPLETELY GONE. Here’s the thing, though: Bills are still gonna come.  People still need to be ministered to.  The job is still gonna want you there.  Nothing we are responsible for cares about these distractions.  So what do we do? We guard our focus.  This is something I’m learning.  Right now, as I’m planning this podcast, I have a whole entire headache from consciously working to block out all of the distractions that are coming at me.  But, headache and all, I am getting this podcast done, and I’m not gonna stop until it’s 100% complete. Your focus is your syperpower.  It is amazing what we can get done when we are focused.  Think about how it is when you get “in a zone” - whether it’s cleaning up, studying, painting, writing or whatever it is.  Isn’t it an amazing feeling?  It’s like nothing can stop you.  And guess what?  That’s correct.  NOTHING can stop you when your focus is on point.   This week, I am challenging myself to remain focused.  I’ll still have downtime, I’ll still watch YouTube videos and eat massive amounts of snacks… well, moderate amount of snacks… lol… BUT…  I will remain laser focused this week.  That’s my personal affirmation and promise to myself.   Now it wouldn’t be As Told by Kole if I didn’t back this up with scripture, so let’s see what the good ole Bible has to say about these things. Proverbs 4:25-27 (Amplified Bible, Classic Version) - “ Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you.  26 Consider well the path of your feet, and let all your ways be established and ordered aright.  27 Turn not aside to the right hand or to the left; remove your foot from evil.” Philippians 4:13 (New Living Translation) - “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Ecclesiastes 9:10 (New King James Version) - “ Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with your might; for there is no work or device or knowledge or wisdom in the grave where you are going.” So there is is!  Guard your focus.  Do your work!  I pray that God will empower you to fiercely protect your focus this week! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

This is gonna be a short and sweet episode.  I know that people are panicking and upset about what is going on with the government.  I don’t really know but a small portion of what’s going on, because I don’t watch television and I don’t allow myself to be emotionally manipulated by the media.  But I do know that the government has shut down, and I know that people are really stressed about it. Let me tell you something.  There are no more saviors.  Every savior that was supposed to come has already come.  There’s nothing else to be done by anyone but you.  This is YOUR life.  Your financial security is YOUR responsibility.  Your health and wealth are YOUR responsibility.  God has left a whole entire roadmap and guidebook that shows and tells us exactly what to do and how to live.  Not only that, but we all have access to the Spirit of God which pours out endless wisdom and knowledge daily. Do not give anyone control over your future.  Respect those in authority.  Obey the laws of the land.  Do all of that, but stop looking for people to save you.  You have dominion here.  This is YOUR world.  If you want your life to change, change it.  The power is in YOUR hands.  The responsibility lies with YOU.  And guess what?  You are more than able to do everything that needs to be done to secure your future.  You’re MORE than able.  You just have to do it.  God will be with you as you make the changes you need to make.  Just do it.  Today.  Start fixing your credit.  Start changing your diet.  Do whatever you need to do, and you will start to see the hand of God assisting you as you go.  I promise you that!  Let’s go! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

I’m not gonna lie to y’all.  Aunt Mary’s death did a number on me… but not for the reasons you may think.  For starters, her death did not come as a surprise at all, and I had actually told one of my friends that I thought she was going to die on my grandma’s birthday.  However, as you know, no matter how much you know or how prepared you are, you’re still not ever fully ready.   What bothered me the most about losing my Aunt Mary was that she was the last piece of my grandma I had left.  My grandma was the definition of family to me.  She showed me what it meant to love someone who is not your blood as if they were your blood.  And when Aunt Mary died, it was like that element of my life (being accepted as blood even though I’m not blood) died too. It was tough.  But you know what I did?  I decided to move on.  That day.  Now granted, I understand the grief process and all of that.  I totally do.  But I elected to just be okay and move on.  I have accepted the fact that I may not ever meet anyone who loves me the way my grandma and Aunt Mary did - people who aren’t my blood but treat me like they are.  And I have to be okay with that.  I have to move on. Why do I have to move on so quickly?  Because there are people depending on me to arrive on schedule.  If I focus on what I no longer have, I will not arrive on schedule.  I have books to write.  I have podcasts and shows to record.  I have A LOT to do.  I don’t have time to sit around in mourning. It’s not going to change anything. Now let me clarify a few things.  You SHOULD grieve.  And you SHOULD take the time to go all the way through the grief process.  However, there will be times in your life when you will realize that your best course of action is just to cut your losses and move on - and when you feel THAT WAY, that’s exactly what you should do.   Aunt Mary is okay.  It is well with her soul, so it is well with mine.  Her death marked the end of an era for me, but I refuse to mourn the era that ended.  Instead, I will celebrate the era that has arrived.  All is well. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

I am a whole lot of things.  Too many things at times.  But if there is one thing I’m NOT, it’s fake.  I’m not fake by a longshot.  And sometimes, this works against me… but I’m not changing it.  If I don’t rock with you, I don’t rock with you.  This doesn’t change when we get in front of people.  It doesn’t change at church.  It doesn’t change when we are with mutual friends.  It just doesn’t. I made up my mind that in 2018, I’m not gonna tolerate fake people.  You’re either gonna be who you really are, or you won’t be in my space.  I’d rather have 10 real enemies than one fake friend.  Why?  Because at least I know where my enemies stand. There comes a point in life when you have to protect yourself.  You have to guard your heart and mind.  You have to protect your peace and sanity.  You can’t keep people around you just because they’re pretending to be your friend.  It’s true that no weapon formed against you will prosper.  It’s also true that being connected to the wrong people can and will cause unnecessary warfare and stress. We will convince ourselves that we don’t see what we KNOW we really do see.  We’ll convince ourselves that people are really “good at heart” and that they are just “acting out” or “going through something”.  But at the end of the day, you have to make up in your mind that you are not going to allow fake people into your inner circle… PERIOD. Wanna know how I deal with fake people?  I don’t.  I love them, I wish them the absolute best… but I REFUSE to deal with them.  I don’t eat fake food.  I don’t drink fake water.  I don’t inhale fake air.  I’m not gonna surround myself with fake people.  I encourage you to evaluate your circle and make the necessary adjustments quickly.  Your next move will thank you for it!   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

If you’re my Facebook friend, you know all about my Aunt Mary.  She means soooo so so so much to me.  I absolutely LOVE her life.   She became ill with pneumonia last month, and although I was told that she would recover, somehow I knew that she wouldn’t, so I made it my business to go and see her.  When I got there, I talked to her and she squeezed my hand.  I told her things about how life was and where she was going and how beautiful everything would be… and by the time I got ready to leave, it was like she was already gone.  That was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.  With my grandma, it wasn’t as bad because she was fully alert and talking and eating the last time I saw her. Aunt Mary got better… but I didn’t go back and see her because I didn’t want to say goodbye again.  As a matter of fact, I told one of my friends that I thought she was going to die on my grandma’s birthday… and she did.  My Aunt Mary. I remember when my grandma died and I had to wait at the military cemetery for her body to arrive.  I called my Aunt Mary and she talked to me the entire time I waited.  After that, I called her once or twice every week just so that I could hear stories about my grandma.  I LOVED going to see her because she reminded me of my grandma.  Same voice, same facial expressions, same everything.  We became so much closer over these last few years, and she really helped me through my grieving process.   Now that she’s gone, I can’t really say that I’m overly sad.  She is totally fine now.  I mean, I was sad when I got the news.  It was so strange: I was in bed all day and I just couldn’t get it together.  When I got up and started writing in my journal, I got the text and it all made sense.  My Aunt Mary. Listen.  Don’t throw your elderly loved ones away.  Don’t throw the elders in your community or tribe away.  Love them.  Nurture them.  Protect them.  And when the time comes for them to transition, help them.  Help them to understand that it’s okay.  Tell them not to be afraid.  Don’t make them feel guilty for leaving.  Remember that although it may not feel like it at the time, to die is gain.  It really is. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

If you know me, you know how much my grandma means to me.  My grandma was and is EVERYTHING to me.  She raised me, she taught me so much of what I know, and she prepared me to be the awesome person I AM today.  And that’s not bragging or being arrogant…  I hope you think you’re awesome because I definitely think I’m awesome.  I think you’re awesome too. Back to my grandma…  Today is her birthday.  So many cool people were born on this day: Michelle Obama, Muhammad Ali, Betty White, Jim Carrey, Steve Harvey, Dwayne Wade, Benjamin Franklin, James Earl Jones, Maury Povich, Eartha Kitt, the list goes on.  January 17th will always be a special day for me.  Let me tell y’all a few amazing facts about my grandma. She was a teacher during the time that schools integrated. She talked to me about how they would have to stay in houses out of town for their protection.  She taught the children of the Klan.  Imagine that. She was very well-educated.  She obtained her Master’s degree in 1948.  That’s amazing. She taught school for thirty-seven years.  She was one of the best teachers in Johnston County. She took me to Mexico, the Grand Cayman Islands and Jamaica when I was nine years old because she wanted me to see that there was more to the world than what I saw every day. She was the first black person in our town to get indoor plumbing.  That’s wild. She always taught me that White Suremacy only worked if you believed that White people were supreme.  Therefore, I never bought into White Supremacy, because no one is more supeme than I AM.   She instilled values in me that have kept me from being a victim of a lot of things my peers have faced.  She ALWAYS had my back, and she taught me that no one else will have my back the way I WILL.  So I always bet on Kole.  Always.  No matter what. And that’s it.  I just wanted to share a few things about my lady.  May God continue to rest her precious soul. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

I’m gonna tell y’all one of my FAVORITE Bible stories.  It’s all about my man King David.  You can find it in I Samuel 30.  As a matter of fact, I’m just gonna read it to you.   1 Samuel 30 Amplified Bible (AMP) David’s Victory over the Amalekites 30 Now it happened when David and his men came [home] to Ziklag on the third day, [they found] that the Amalekites had made a raid on the Negev (the South country) and on Ziklag, and had overthrown Ziklag and burned it with fire; 2 and they had taken captive the women [and all] who were there, both small and great. They killed no one, but carried them off [to be used as slaves] and went on their way. 3 When David and his men came to the town, it was burned, and their wives and their sons and their daughters had been taken captive. 4 Then David and the people who were with him raised their voices and wept until they were too exhausted to weep [any longer]. 5 Now David’s two wives had been captured, Ahinoam the Jezreelitess and Abigail the widow of Nabal the Carmelite. 6 Further, David was greatly distressed because the people spoke of stoning him, for all of them were embittered, each man for his sons and daughters. But David felt strengthened and encouraged in the Lord his God. 7 David said to Abiathar the priest, Ahimelech’s son, “Please bring me the ephod.” So Abiathar brought him the ephod. 8 David inquired of the Lord, saying, “Shall I pursue this band [of raiders]? Will I overtake them?” And He answered him, “Pursue, for you will certainly overtake them, and you will certainly rescue [the captives].” 9 So David went, he and the six hundred men who were with him, and came to the brook Besor; there those [who could not continue] remained behind. 10 But David pursued [the Amalekites], he and four hundred men, for two hundred who were too exhausted to cross the brook Besor stayed behind. 11 They found an Egyptian [who had collapsed] in the field and brought him to David, and gave him bread and he ate, and they gave him water to drink, 12 and they gave him a piece of a fig cake and two clusters of raisins; and when he had eaten, his energy returned, for he had not eaten bread or had any water to drink for three days and three nights. 13 David said to him, “To whom do you belong, and where are you from?” He said, “I am a young man from Egypt, a servant of an Amalekite; and my master abandoned me [as useless] when I fell sick three days ago. 14 We made a raid on the Negev of the Cherethites, and on that which belongs to Judah, and on the Negev of Caleb, and we burned Ziklag with fire.” 15 Then David said to him, “Will you take me down to this band [of raiders]?” And he said, “Swear to me by God that you will not kill me or turn me over to the hand of my master, and I will bring you down to this band.” 16 When he brought David down, the Amalekites had disbanded and spread over all the land, eating and drinking and dancing because of all the great spoil they had taken from the land of the Philistines and from the land of Judah. 17 Then David [and his men] struck them down [in battle] from twilight until the evening of the next day; and not a man of them escaped, except four hundred young men who rode camels and fled. 18 So David recovered all that the Amalekites had taken, and rescued his two wives. 19 Nothing of theirs was missing whether small or great, sons or daughters, spoil or anything that had been taken; David recovered it all. 20 So David captured all the flocks and herds [which the enemy had], and [the people] drove those animals before him and said, “This is David’s spoil.” How dope is that?  Your stuff gets taken, your people turn against you…  You ask God if you should go get your stuff, and God says, “You will CERTAINLY overtake them.”  And then, on your way there, you meet one of the people who burned Ziklag and he leads you right to what you lost???  You cannot tell me that God doesn’t look out. Listen.  You absolutely positively can and will recover ...

Today I’m going to be discussing a very sensitive topic.  If you’re triggered by suicide or murder, now is a good time for you to hop off and catch me tomorrow.  Otherwise, let’s go. I am going to spend the next few moments talking about Christina Treadway.  Christina was thirty-four years old.  She had two kids: a seven-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter.  For reasons that remain unknown, Christina stabbed her two babies, left them at home to die, and jumped off a interstate bridge, killing herself. If you have seen this story on Facebook, I’m sure you’ve seen the videos of Christina singing “I Will Always Love You to her daughter” or the videos of her daughter singing a song she wrote to her, and her son singing a cover of “All of Me”.  These kids were absolutely beautiful.  So was Christina.  All three of them had such amazing voices. There are a lot of things being said.  People are calling Christina a monster.  People are saying that using mental illness as an “excuse” for what she did isn’t right.  I’m not here to speculate about any of that.  I just want to bring this to your attention. There are things that will happen in life that will cause you to think/feel/believe that things will never get better.  There are things that will happen that will cause you to think/feel/believe that there is no way out.  But listen to me.  In those times, I need you to remember these three things. Number One: NOTHING… absolutely NOTHING can work in your life unless it works for your good.  Absolutely nothing. It may seem bad.  It may feel bad. It may look bad.  But I promise you.  If it’s working in your life, it’s working for your good.  Romans 8:28 confirms this… and so does Genesis 50:20.  Read them.   Number Two: YOU CANNOT CONFIDE IN EVERYBODY, but you DO need to confide in SOMEbody.  You absolutely need to have someone in your life who you can confide in.  Even if it’s a crisis counselor.  That brings me to the next point. Number Three: Help is always available to you.  I do not encourage people to go to the church about their mental issues, because honestly, sometimes the church stigmatizes mental issues way more than the world does.  However, what I DO encourage is that you seek help from a qualified mental health professional.  You can call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255).  You can even chat with them.  Just Google “Suicide Prevention Lifeline”, click on their website, and if you scroll down to the bottom, you’ll see a place to chat with a counselor.   My heart grieves for those babies.  I can’t imagine their pain in the last moments of their precious lives.  I can’t imagine Christina’s pain either.  It’s just so much to take in.  I just pray that their souls find rest. Don’t ever take matters into your own hands.  Whatever it is…  Whoever it is…  Seek help.  Even if it’s not you - you can call the lifeline for someone else.  And if you don’t want to call the lifeline, you can always call me at #NotOnMyWatch™.  The number is 919-295-2172. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Do you remember when you had to write papers in school?  What is one of the first things your teacher went over with you?  Plagiarism.  Right?  Stealing others’ words and using them as your own.  It wasn't right to do when we were in school.  As a matter of fact, I remember students getting expelled from college for plagiarizing.  I’m sure a lot of you can attest to the fact that it was a huge deal to even be suspected of using someone else’s work as your own. So…  Having said that, let me tell y’all about what has been going on in my life.  As you may know, I send out text messages every morning.  Not only that, but I podcast, I write on Facebook, and I share meaningful content in conversation with friends. Well.  Here lately, I’ve noticed that my friends and social media buddies think it’s perfectly okay to take my words, thoughts and ideas (which are all MY intellectual property, by the way) and use them as their own.  I mean, these people will take my morning text message, add a word or two to it, and then post it on Facebook as if it was a revelation God gave them.  It blows my mind!   I will have a conversation with a friend, give them a few nuggets, and they will take my words and post them like they came up with them.  Like… and they KNOW I’m gonna see it!  It’s crazy. Don’t get me wrong: It is perfectly okay to share information.  It is perfectly okay to quote someone.  But in 2018, can we at least give people credit for the information and content we are receiving from them?  Can we not just take others’ quotes and use them for ourselves, deceptively leading others to believe that they are our words?  That is not acceptable at all. I have made up my mind this year that any individual who is caught using my intellectual property without proper credit, permission or compensation will be sued.  It’s one thing if you don’t know… like if you come up with something but you don’t check to see if someone else already came up with it…  but it’s something altogether different to take your FRIEND’s words and use them as your own.  Fam…  Stop stealing.   Please and thanks.   People.  Value your words.  Value your thoughts.  Protect yourself.  Protect your stuff.  It may seem minor to you, but your idea could be a gold mine.  Don’t be out here dripping sauce everywhere.  Protect your intellectual property.  When you see someone jacking you for your stuff, call them out on it.  You don’t have to be rude, but you have the right and responsibility to let them know that you’re aware of what they are doing, and you also have the right to ask them to either properly credit you or remove the stolen content.  That’s real.  The big brands do it all the time.  Just because your name isn’t that big yet doesn’t mean your words don’t have value.  Govern yourself accordingly.  Your future will thank you for it! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Life is not always easy, fam.  It’s not.  Sometimes, normal day-to-day activities can seem like too much for you to bear.  Trust me, I have been there too many times - and I don’t mean way back in the past, either.  I’ve had days like that just this year. I’m gonna give you two words that are gonna help you when you have days like that.  Push through.  It may sound cliche, but it’s what you have to do.  You have to use whatever strength you have and push through.   I’m gonna give you three things that I do when I feel like I just can’t make it through the day. Number One: Unplug.  Literally unplug.  Turn off your phone (or put in on “do not disturb”), turn off your other electronics - even take a nap if you can.  Take a few minutes away from life.  Don’t lay around and sleep the day away if you can help it, but definitely take some time to unplug and rest.  As Anne Lamott stated, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” Number Two: Think about the other side of “through”.  There is something greater coming after whatever it is you’re facing in your rough moments.  Remember that NOTHING can work in your life unless it works for your good.  Take a moment and think about your goals.  Think about what you’re working towards.  Allow yourself to feel the coming joy of meeting those goals and hitting those targets.  Use your imagination and let that fuel your fire to move forward. Number Three: Pull on the strength of God.  Listen.  You’ll never really know how strong God is until you’re weak and need His strength.  That’s why the Bible says that His strength is made perfect in our weakness (II Corinthians 12:9).  Find a few scriptures about the strength of God and recite them to yourself.  You don’t have to have all the strength.  God has plenty. Do all three of these things, and you will discover how much easier it becomes to make up your mind to push through.  The actual pushing through may still be hard, but hard things become a lot easier with a made up mind. I hope this helps!  Be sure to save this podcast for a rainy day. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

I hope you guys are having an amazing morning.  It’s a rainy day here in North Carolina, but that sleep I got was amazing because of it!  No matter what the situation may be, there’s always some good in it somewhere. So let me tell y’all a quick story about me.  I don’t watch television.  If you know me, you know that.  Well the other day I went out to eat at Moe & D’s in Rocky Mount (a very awesome black-owned restaurant, might I add and plug), and I looked up at the tv screen and discovered that there was a lot of flooding in California due to mudslides.  Immediately, my heart and prayers went out to everyone affected by such a disastrous situation.   Last night, I was wrapping up some work, and I went on one of our local news sites to do some research.  When I got there, I saw an article headlined, “Rescuers 'searching for a miracle' in California mudslides”  I can’t begin to tell you how that sent chills all over me.  Searching for a miracle.  Actively looking for it.  Relentlessly pursuing it.  Not sitting around and waiting to see if any bodies float up.  Not standing on rooftops praying all day.  SEARCHING for a MIRACLE. That one headline shifted my mind.  We are so passive sometimes.  There is an awesome couple that is having a word and worship crusade tonight (shoutout to Jeremy and Chaurita Dawson-Herring).  Yesterday, I posted their flyer on my Instagram and I captioned it, “I’m looking for a miracle”.  But am I really?  Am I actively looking for something miraculous to happen in my life, or am I just sitting back hoping something good happens in my life?  There is most definitely a difference.   As I read the new article, I saw that the situation was bleak.  The chances of survival were becoming slimmer and slimmer.  However, none of that stopped rescue workers from searching for a miracle - and nothing in your life should stop you.  NOTHING. Turn over every stone.  Knock on every door.  Go down every street.  Don’t stop until you obtain what you know is rightfully yours.  It’s out there.  I promise.   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Fam!!!  I have some HUGE NEWS for February!  If you follow me on social media, you already know… but if not, here it is!   During the month of February, I will be doing a podcast series entitled, “I Believe in the Black Man”.  I’m going to interview twenty-eight African-American men who are making a difference in their communities. Let me just give you a quick rundown: Interviews are being conducted from now until January 27, 2018. The podcast series will air the entire month of February 2018. All that is required is that you be an African-American male who is making a positive impact within your community. Upon booking your interview, you will receive link to complete the interview questions.  Please submit your answers as soon as possible so that we will both be prepared for the interview. You will also receive a podcast guest agreement which will go over how your interview will be used and the exposure you will receive.  Please be sure to sign the agreement (or respond with questions) before the interview. You will receive a link to a Zoom virtual conference call through which the interview will be conducted.  I will not be on video, but if you desire to be on video, you can, and the video portion of the interview will be edited and posted on my website. If you have any questions, please email me at nakole@nakolewatson.com BEFORE booking your interview. It’s gonna be LIT!!!  If you know anyone who would be a good fit, be sure to send them my way!  http://NaKoleWatson.com/feb Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

I’m gonna set somebody free today.  Are you ready?  You don’t always have to explain your “no”.  Disclaimer.  I’m not telling you to disobey your parents.  I’m not telling you to be insubordinate to anyone who is in a position of authority.  So don’t be like “Well NO, and Na’Kole said I don’t have to explain anything to you.”  Don’t do that, okay?  Thanks.   Seriously, though.  You don’t have to explain your “no” all the time.  If someone asks you to do something, you can say, “I’m not going to be able to do that”, and that’s good enough.  You don’t always have to apologize for not being able to do something, as if not being able to do something is an offense against someone else.  Let me give you an example.  I’m not sorry that I cannot come to the phone.  Why?  Because if I can’t come to the phone, that means that I’m doing something productive with my life that currently demands my attention.  I’m not attaching “I’m sorry” to that.  NO, I can’t come to the phone.  Period.  Does the phone company apologize before they tell you that all of their representatives are helping other customers?  Absolutely not.  Why?  Because they don’t owe you an apology for being present and conducting their business.  They only time they apologize is when the wait times are extremely high - and even then, not all of them apologize.  I’m not saying to be arrogant and say, “No, I’m not answering your call.  Shut up.”  That’s not what I’m saying at all.  But at the same time, you are not wronging someone just because you’re not always available to them. If you don’t have time to go to an event because you need to study for finals, it is totally okay to say, “I’m not going to be able to make that”.  PERIOD.  You don’t owe the world an explanation about what you’re doing with your life.  Now if it’s a good friend, family member, etc. and the relationship warrants an explanation, you have to make that call and act accordingly.  But I’m telling you right now that I’m not going to apologize or explain my “no”.  And that’s not being prideful.  It’s not.  But you don’t apologize for your yes.  You don’t explain your yes.  You just say “yes”.  And with the same power, authority and fervor that you say “yes”, you should be able to say “no”.  It really is a complete sentence. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Today’s podcast is about desires.  I don’t think we understand the power of desire.  For one, our desires tell a lot about who we are as individuals.  They speak to the condition of our hearts.  They show us how we are viewing the world.  They show us how spiritually and emotionally healthy we are.  Desires speak to us in ways that nothing else does. I’m going to challenge you to think about your desires today.  First question: What do you desire?  Really take some time to think about that.  Next question: Why do you desire that thing? That’s it.  Evaluate your desires.  If you download my podcast notes, there’s a sheet that you can use to write down your desires.  You need to know what you’re consciously AND subconsciously manifesting into your life… so be sure to really tap in and write down what you’re desiring and why. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Remember when you were in school and the teacher gave you busy work?  Didn’t you just hate it?  I remember every time we would have certain substitutes, we would KNOW that we were going to have worksheets to do all day.  You could bank on it being the most boring day ever, and you could also bank on the fact that the sub wasn’t gonna grade any of those papers, and neither was the teacher.   I’m gonna tell you something I have learned.  A lot of people who claim to be so busy are just doing busy work.  How can you tell?  Because busy work isn’t productive.  It produces, but what it produces doesn’t have any substance and it doesn’t get anyone any further.  As a matter of fact, a lot of times, it just creates more unnecessary work for someone else. There is a quote I LOVE that says, “Stop the glorification of busy.”  People absolutely LOVE to be busy… but what exactly is coming out of all of that busyness?  How is the world changing?  What is being done to make self and others better?  Think about it: Do you think Oprah tells her friends how busy she is every day?  Do you think when Steve Harvey gets home, he says, “This was such a busy day”.  No.  Why?  Because when you are really living in your purpose, YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK ABOUT HOW BUSY YOU ARE. So now let’s look at our lives.  How much “busy work” are we doing? How many times do we do things just so that it will appear that we have a lot going on?  How many times do we go through the motions every day because we feel like if we’re not busy all day and night, we’re not making an impact?   I podcast EVERY SINGLE DAY (for your Inspiration and empowerment), and you will NEVER hear me get on the phone and talk about how busy I am.  Why?  Because I don’t have to.  We have really glorified busy, and we really need to stop.  You don’t get a prize for being busy.  You get a prize for the FRUIT of your labor.  So if your busyness isn’t bearing fruit, you are wasting your time.   I had to look at my life and cut out A LOT of stuff.  I even cut back on how much I post on social media.  Why?  Because what I started to notice is that I was posting a lot because I felt like I had to in order to show that I’m really out here working.  But the proof of the fact that I’m out here working is the FRUIT that comes from it. I just want to encourage you today to let go of the busy work and do what God has put you here to do.  If you do that, you won’t have time to sit around all day talking about how busy you are - nor will you have the desire to do so. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Growing up, any time my grandma hadn’t heard from someone in a while, she would say, “No news is good news”.  I totally get it.  Most of the time, if you haven’t heard from someone in a while, it is because they are off living their life and investing their time and energy into pursuing and fulfilling their goals.  I totally get it.  Now being a suicide prevention specialist, let me pause and say that of course this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t still check on people when you haven’t heard from them - but I still understand why this old saying holds true in a lot of instances and areas of life. Let me give you another perspective.  You know that’s what I do.  Let’s look at this literally and talk about the actual news.  Older people grew up in a totally different word from the world we live in.  I grew up in a totally different world than the world I live in now.  I remember growing up with my grandma watching the news, and every now and then you’d hear about a murder.  Most of the news was about stuff like car accidents, weather, a few robberies here and there, but nothing like the news is today. So many older people have anxiety and an overwhelming feeling of gloom SIMPLY because they sit down and watch the news all day.  A lot of Millennials live in fear because of what they see on the news every day.  Hear me when I say that the news has an agenda.  That’s why every Monday or Tuesday, you’ll see social media in an uproar about something.  Racism, a celebrity, an engagement ring, the color of a dress…  SOMETHING.  It’s all strategically planned.  And by Friday, everyone has moved on from the topic they spent all day Monday and Tuesday arguing about.  The release of information is planned.  The spin that is placed on information is planned.  That’s why if you ever pay attention, the original story and the subsequent stories are always slightly different.  Start paying attention. LITERALLY, no news is good news.  The only time I watch the news is when I’m visiting someone who is watching it or when I’m sitting and waiting at a place of business and I don’t feel like starting at my iPhone.  My television is in storage, and the only reason I have a television is to watch documentaries and movies about topics I love.  My anxiety was cut by at least 90% when I stopped watching the news.   I still go online and check out current events on the news sites.  I still check the weather.  I get news alerts on my phone.  But I can look at the headline of the story and pretty much gather the agenda behind it.  Sometimes news is published simply to inform us.  However, that’s not always the case. So…  If you find yourself constantly being anxious, fearful or sad, try this.  Go one week without watching the news.  Just one week.  Seven whole days in my Toni Braxton voice.  Do that, and see if anything changes in your life.  Let me know how it goes! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Word on the street is that Benjamin Franklin said that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. I wholeheartedly agree with this statement, and I’m gonna tell you why. I have spent a good portion of my life allowing life to live me. What does that mean? Quite simply, I would just take whatever came my way. Of course I had goals, I had hopes and dreams and everything - but I hardly ever sat down and got a concrete plan in place. And when I did, more often than not, I allowed life to knock me off course, and that would be the end of that. What this taught me now that I’m older is that preparation is key. It is important to KNOW what it is that you desire and what it is that you want to do with your time. I understand going with the flow. Trust me, I do. But you still need to prepare, so that you are IN the RIGHT FLOW. Things flow to us according to what we purpose and intend. Every flow isn’t meant for us. For example: As I am sitting here preparing this podcast, my phone is vibrating off the imaginary hook. I could just go with the flow and say, “Well they called or texted so they must need something”, or I could go with the flow and say “Let me finish what I’m doing and I’ll be sure to get back with them when I can.” See how that works? Sometimes we use “I’m going with the flow” as an excuse for us to give in to our distractions. No bueno, man. No bueno. I encourage you to make PLANNING a priority this year. Make PREPARATION a priority. You want a mate? Make sure you’re doing what it takes to prepare for having a mate. Make sure you’re working on what you’re gonna bring to the table. Need another job? Make sure your resume is up to par. Shameless plug, but I do resume writing as a part of my business, so hit me up if you need to. If you’re a business owner, is your elevator pitch ready? What about your business cards? You know why people miss opportunities? Because they aren't prepared for the opportunities when they come. MOST of the biggest opportunities you will ever have are gonna come when you weren’t really expecting them. You’re just gonna be carrying on and living your everyday life, and opportunity is going to knock. Will you be prepared? That could literally be a million-dollar question. It could bless you or it could cost you. The good news is that the ball is in your court. When the clock is down to the last few seconds and there’s one shot to be made and the ball gets passed to you, go ahead and make that shot you spent all season preparing for. I’m pulling for you! Have an amazing day today. Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT! I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you! Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

I’m gonna be honest with you guys.  Even with this new year coming in, I have still been sidetracked.  I was getting ready to write today’s episode, and it dawned on me that I AM STILL wasting a lot of my time.  Let me explain. There are some people who just aren’t gonna get it.  It doesn’t matter how much you want them to get it.  It doesn’t matter how much you invest into them.  They’re not gonna get it.  They’re not gonna grow.  They’re not gonna go after their dreams.  They’re not gonna “stop their stuff”.  We can spend so much time focusing on trying to make the horse drink after we get them to the water that we forget about everyone else in the world who would gladly drink if they knew where the water was. Let me set the stage.  Jesus was about to go away from here, and He was talking to His disciples about how things were about to go down.  He’s about to tell Peter that he’s gonna deny Him three times, but this is what He says first: Luke 22:31  “Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. 32 But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail. So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”  After you have repented and turned to Him again, strengthen your brothers. That thing hit me like a ton of bricks.  He never said for Peter to go back and try to convince anyone of anything.  He simply said, “Strengthen your brothers”.  That meant that Peter was supposed to come back and spend the rest of his days strengthening people.  Not wrestling with them.  Not waiting for them.  Strengthening them. Trust me when I say that there is a remnant of people who would love to receive the help God has given you to give to them.  There are people who will take your advice.  There are people who will patronize your business.  There are people who will purchase your courses and products and services.  Strengthen THEM.  STRENGTHEN them.  Spend your time building.  Don’t spend your time allowing yourself to be torn down. Think about it.  Who would want to hear Peter after he sat there and denied Jesus THREE TIMES after just telling him that he was willing to die for him?  Jesus didn’t care about any of that.  He told Peter what to do, and even after Peter slipped up, he came back, got it right, and did exactly what Jesus had instructed Him to do. You’ve wasted enough time.  You’ve denied the call of God on your life long enough.  It is now time for you to repent, get back to who and what you know you should be, and go and strengthen your brothers.  That’s what you’re gonna find me doing. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Yesterday, I gave you some questions to ask yourself about the five people you spend the most time with.  Be sure to check out Episode 64 if you missed it.  Today, we are going to evaluate our daily routine.  Sometimes in life, we feel stuck.  We feel like we don’t have any momentum at all.  The best way to get to the bottom of this is to examine and evaluate our daily routine.   Why?  Because sometimes, it’s the things we do every day that cause us to feel the way we feel.  For example, some people dread Mondays and it has nothing to do with the fact that the weekend is over.  They dread Mondays because they don’t like their everyday life.  The weekends are an escape from that life, and Mondays snap them back into that life.  If you focus on the fact that you hate Mondays and never delve into what you do every day that causes you to hate Mondays, you’ll never get to the root of the issue, and you’ll never give yourself a chance to make it better.  Understand?  So let’s see what’s going on in these lives of ours. I’m going to give you an activity to do, and I want you to do it for three days.  Three consecutive days.   Ready?  Let’s go. For three days, I want you to write down or voice record EXACTLY what you do when you wake up in the morning.  From the instant you realize that you’re awake, I want you to write down the first ten things you do.  Next, I want you to write down the first three people you talk to.  After that, I want you to write down how you feel about each part of your day.  Are you anxious about going to work?  Are you sad about leaving your spouse?  Are you happy about leaving everyone at home and going to work?  How do you feel?  And finally, I want you to write down the last ten things you do before you go to bed. This exercise is going to show you what is influencing your daily moods, thoughts, attitudes and behaviors.  You may find that watching certain programs before bed causes you to have anxiety the next morning.  You may find that listening to certain types of music or having certain conversations in the morning allows you to laugh and unwind before a long day at work.  Whatever it is that you need to know, evaluating your daily routine will tell you.   Feel free to share what you have discovered.  I’d love to know how this exercise impacts your life! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Fam.  It’s time to do some evaluating.  The first thing we are going to evaluate is our connections.  I’m going to ask you a series of questions, and I want you to think about the people you are connected to.  You don’t have to do anything with this information if you don’t want to, but I’m gonna challenge you to think about it.  Ask these questions about the five people you spend the most time with. Ready?  Let’s go. Question 1: Does this person add anything to your life? Question 2: How does being around this person make you feel the majority of the time? Question 3: Does this person strengthen you in any way? Question 4: Is this person self-sufficient, or does he/she rely on you? Question 5: More often than not, does an interaction with this person leave you strengthened or drained? Question 6: Is this person doing any good in the world? Question 7: Is this person living or merely existing? Question 8: Do you deal with this person out of obligation or personal choice? Question 9: Has this person grown any from where he/she was at this time last year? Question 10: What do you add to this person’s life? Question 11: Does this person correct you when you’re wrong? Question 12: Are you serving what you believe to be God’s intended purpose in their life? Question 13: Are they serving what you believe to be God’s intended purpose in your life? Question 14: Do they handle conflict/disagreement in a healthy manner? Question 15: Is this a relationship you are proud of? Question 16: Do you believe this to be a connection that God is pleased with? I know that this is a long list of questions, but please believe that evaluating your connections is one of the best things you can do in this season.  Be sure to download the podcast notes if you want a digital or physical copy of these questions.  Ask God what to do with the answers. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

We are in a whole entire new year.  Isn’t exciting?  Although I know that we greet the new year with lots of excitement and anticipation, I also know that some of us still have anxieties and fears.  It’s understandable.  You start out a year being happy and excited, and then something happens that devastates you, and you feel disappointed.  Then when another year comes in, you’re scared to really get excited because you feel like you’re setting yourself up for the same disappointment again.  Let’s deal with this today. 2018 is not going to be perfect.  No year can be perfect in this imperfect world.  However, what can remain perfect is your understanding that although all things may not feel good, all things are forever working for your good.  All things, always, in all ways.  Knowing this will help you to go through this year and pass your tests with flying colors. There is absolutely NOTHING to fear.  Nothing.  Why?  Listen. I John 4:18 in the International Standard Version of the Bible says, “There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love.”  Isn’t that amazing?  There is no fear where love exists.  Where does love exist?  Everywhere.  How do we know?  Because God is everywhere.  Therefore, there is never a reason to fear.  Not ever.  I know that may be hard to believe, but remember that truth never requires belief.  Truth stands alone.  Always remember that.   Things are gonna happen in 2018 that you may not have seen coming.  You may have arguments with your friends.  Things may happen in this world that you never would have imagined.  Life didn’t stop because we crossed over into another year.  People are still people, politics is still politics, etc.  However, what you can do this year that you haven't done before is live in a place of perfect love.  How do you do that?  By really living with an awareness of God.  Not just God, though.  God IN you.  When you realize that God literally lives, moves and breathes in you and that you live, move and have your BEing (existence) IN GOD, you can’t help but realize that there is really nothing to fear. Go after your dreams this year.  Have that meeting.  Ask for that sale.  Write that book.  Go on that vacation.  Do not fear.  That doesn’t mean to be careless and reckless, because remember, God uses wisdom and freely gives it to us.  But what it does mean is that you don’t have to be held hostage to any fear you may feel.  You will still feel it, but you don’t have to operate in it.  Got it?  Good. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

We made it, fam!  Happy New Year!  I pray that this year is all you could ever want and need and more!  I’m gonna give you seven things to do this year. Live.  Live your life.  Don’t you let 2018 happen to you. You happen to 2018! Walk with God.  Walk.  Keep it moving.  Make progress.  Just make sure you do it with an awareness of who God is, what God requires and what God has given to you. Stay free.  Apologize when needed.  Forgive when needed.  Ask God for understanding, innerstanding and overstanding.  Keep your perspective high.  Whenever you feel yourself being moved by things, go up higher and see what’s really going on.   Pray.  Meditate.  Have quiet time.  Write down what is spoken to you by the Spirit.  Write down what comes to your mind.  Examine it.  See what to keep and what to discard. Limit social media.  If you’re like me, your business demands that you be on social media.  However, you must still limit your time on social media, and you most definitely should limit the amount of influence it has over you.  Don’t let the opinions and lifestyles of others keep you in bondage.  Live YOUR life.   Flow.  You don’t have to have everything figured out.  Know that you have dominion here, and just flow.  When action is needed, take action.  When stillness is required, be still.   Love.  Love always.  Love no matter what.  Read I Corinthians 13 if you’re not sure what I’m talking about.  Remember that God and love are the exact same thing.  Don’t allow anyone or anything to take your love away.  Maintain it.  Protect it.  Share it.  Freely.  Always.   And that’s it!  Let’s have an amazing year! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Today is the last day of the year.  I’m glad.  I’m VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY GLAD.  2017 has been a lot.  It has been wonderful at times, it has been horrible at times, but it has always worked for my good.  100% of the time. I don’t really have any major regrets…  I’m just ready for it to be over with.   Here are the top three lessons I’ve learned in 2017: My relationship with God is just that: MY relationship WITH GOD.  I did a whole podcast about this lesson, so be sure to check out Episode 58. The Kingdom of God is worth fighting for.  It may seem like church folks have completely messed up what we know to be the Kingdom, but please believe that what God desires to be established here on earth is definitely worth fighting for.  The Body of Christ is worth fighting for.  I’m not talking about the religious system.  I’m talking about the true essence of who we are and how we’re connected.  It’s worth fighting for. I AM directly responsible for every moment of my time that I allow others to waste.  At the end of the the day, I was entrusted with this time.  It’s my responsibility to prevent the wasting of it.  I shouldn’t waste it, and I shouldn’t allow others to waste it (whenever I can help it, which is most of the time). This is a bonus…  All things get better.  Always. I’m not going to get into the intentions I’ve set for 2018.  Just know that they are real, they WILL HAPPEN, and I AM very excited about what this year will bring.  I will enjoy every moment and I will get through every test.  This is going to be an amazing year.  I have nothing but great expectations.  What about you?  Now is the time to think about that. I’m gonna leave you with this question.  What if today was not only the last day of the year, but what if it was YOUR last day?  How would you act?  What would you do?  Would you be satisfied with your life?  Would you be satisfied with your relationships?  Would the arguments be worth it?  Would you be happy with how you've used your time.  As you plan your next year, keep those answers in mind. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

I AM absolutely and positively a music fanatic.  I LOVE music.  I have music notes tatted on me, I have “#iSing” tatted on me - I am absolutely in love with music.  To know me is to know this. Today, I want to talk to you about the power of playlists.  I use playlists for EVERYTHING.  Why?  Because music has proven to be mood-altering.  Music gets me through EVERYthing.   This podcast is gonna be short because I’m gonna give you an assignment.  I want you to create some playlists.  If you’re not a music person, reach out to me and I’ll help you.  I want you to create playlists on Spotify, Apple Music, Google Play Music, YouTube or whatever you use.  What kinds of playlists?  I’m glad you asked! I want you to think about all the things you want to feel.  Happiness, peace, gratitude, etc. - and then I want you to find songs that encourage or boost those moods.  Start listening to those songs on the regular and watch how your life improves!  I do a weekly playlist on Spotify, so if you have Spotify, be sure to find me at NaKoleWatson and you’ll see it in my public playlists!  If you prefer, you can access it by visiting http://bit.ly/NaKolesList. Feel free to share your playlists with me.  It doesn’t matter the genre - I don’t discriminate! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

Growing up.  Some people say it’s hard to do.  We all know about growing pains, right?  Growing up is definitely not always the easiest thing.  If you are a millennial, you already know how hard “adulting” can be.  Sometimes, you just don’t feel like doing it.  I get it.   Let’s think about it, though.  When you are young, the doctors always check to make sure that you’re growing properly.  If you’re not, they call it “failure to thrive”, which means that you’re not gaining the weight you should be gaining as you grow. Now let’s take that example and look at your life.  Are you thriving?  Are you gaining the weight you should be gaining as you get older?  Healthy weight.  Not unhealthy weight.   As a matter of fact, let’s dig deeper into that.  The older we get, the more likely we are to gain unhealthy weight.  This comes from eating fatty foods, lack of sleep, lack of exercise, etc.  But what about the other types of unhealthy weight?  Do we ever think about them?  What about the weight from bad relationships?  What about the weight from unresolved shame and emotional baggage?  What about that? Have you ever seen a child who was overweight at a young age, but as they grew up, they slimmed down?  That’s what we should be doing.  As we grow up, we should be dropping our “baby fat” and only gaining healthy weight.  Let me grab a scripture for us.  I Corinthians 13:11 in the English Standard Version says, “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.”  We should be doing the exact same thing.  There should come a point in our lives when we no longer desire to speak like children.  We should no longer want to think like children.  We should no longer reason like children.  I’ll do you one better.  We even have to look at the past year and decide whether or not it will be healthy to continue to speak, think and reason the way we have been doing so. Listen.  It’s okay to grow up.  It’s okay to realize that you have outgrown situations, people, places and things.  If your child is in a classroom and two of the kids in there are failing to pick up the material as fast as your child, would you want your child to stay in there and be delayed because of the delay of others?  Absolutely not.  You would expect your child to be moved to an environment where he/she would be stimulated.  The same is true of our lives.  There’s nothing wrong with looking around and realize that who you are at the moment requires more than what you see around you.  It is okay to grow up. It hurts sometimes.  It’s hard having to look at friends and say, “This relationship is slowing me down, and I’m gonna have to let it go (or change it) if I ever want to grow.” - but as hard as that is, it is OKAY to feel that way.  It’s okay to realize that you’re tired of being the smartest person in your circle.  It’s okay to realize that you’re tired of being the most spiritually astute person in your group.  It’s okay to grow up.  It may hurt, it may be frustrating, and it may be misunderstood… but it is OKAY.  Remember that. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Reflections.  2017 is coming to an end… quickly.  We only have a little bit of time before 2018 gets here… and this is a good time to reflect on our year.  If you haven’t been reflecting, I would definitely encourage you to do so.  Just make sure that you’re doing it from a healthy place and not one of condemnation.  We don’t live in condemnation.   As I look back over 2017, I can definitely say that I have grown.  Let’s talk about my spiritual growth first.  This year, I have really learned that my walk with God is just that: MY walk… with GOD.  No other parties have the right to tell me how to carry out that walk.  I still welcome and appreciate godly counsel, but I no longer base my life’s decisions on how other people will react to what I decide to do.  All there has ever been in my life is me and God.  I was with God before I came here.  I came here with God.  I’m walking through this life with God.  At the end, I’ll be with God forever… which isn’t a change, because I’ve always been with God.  I’ve always been a thought in God’s mind.  Everyone and everything I have run across and will run across in this life is temporary.  No one I have in my life now will always be there, even if they have always been here up until this point.  The only thing that is forever is my walk with God.  From beginning to end, that’s the one thing in my life that will not ever come to an end.  It’s the only thing that never began.  It has always just been.  Therefore, I have learned to regard that relationship above all others.  It has changed so much about how I live my life.  It has caused me to dig deeper.  It has caused me to let some people go.  It has caused me to focus more on what God has given me to do.  It’s the best lesson I’ve learned all year, and perhaps all my life. My business has grown tremendously this year.  I started this podcast, I released an updated edition of my book, AND I released another book.  I’m so excited about the growth I have seen, and I know that it’s only the beginning. Personally, I’ve grown in soooooo many ways.  I’m not ready to talk about them yet, but just know that your girl is over here growing up something!   I hope you will take a moment and reflect.  Hindsight is always 20/20, and that’s a good thing.  Why?  Because somethings you see with your hindsight are gonna come up again… and when they do, you’ll know exactly what to do. I’d love to hear about your reflections, so feel free to share with me!  I’d love to read about how much you’ve grown! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

I have a serious message for you today.  I’m gonna make this a short podcast, but it’s gonna be an impactful one.  I’ve got two words for you: Be gentle. You NEVER know what someone else may be going through.  Be gentle with people.  I’m not telling you to let people talk to you any kind of way or treat you any kind of way, but what I AM telling you is to be gentle.  You can be firm and still be gentle.  You can say what you mean and mean what you say without being abrasive.  People are going through so much.  That doesn’t excuse their behavior, but it also doesn’t mean that you can’t offer grace. Today when you go out in public, try to see people through God’s eyes.  Someone you meet today may have been recently diagnosed with cancer.  They may not have food to eat.  They may have lost a loved one.  They may not know how they are going to pay their bills.  They may have just had their car repossessed or their house foreclosed on. They may be a victim of human trafficking.  They may be in an abusive relationship.  They may have just heard the worst news of their life.  You don’t know.  Just as others don’t know what’s going on behind your smile, you don’t know what’s going on behind theirs.  So…  Be gentle.  Please.  Sometimes your smile will be the very thing that keeps someone from going over the edge.  Sometimes your one act of grace will be the thing that keeps someone from attempting suicide.  Be gentle.  Really treat people the way you wish to be treated.  Really.  We all need love. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

As many of you may know, I AM no stranger to suicidal ideation.  I’m no stranger to feeling like life would be better for me if it ended.  No stranger at all. I’ve had a lot of material things in my lifetime.  I know what it is to have all the money you need.  I know what it is to not want for a single thing.  I know a few famous people.  I have traveled a whole lot in my lifetime.  I had all of these things going for myself, but I hadn’t allowed myself to have the one thing I so desperately needed: peace.  Not just any type of peace, though.  I’m talking about the peace of God.You see, some peace is just the absence of chaos.  So, when you’re in a hurricane, the front of the storm comes and you have chaos.  The eye of the storm comes and you have peace.  The back end of the storm comes and you have chaos.  But when you have the peace of God, it doesn’t matter what comes or goes.  You have peace in the front of the storm, during the eye, during the end of the storm, and every day after the storm.  It’s a peace that can’t be given or taken away by anyone or anything in this world.  God’s peace.   Philippians 4:6-8 says, “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.   And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.“ There is a peace that God gives that will literally guard your heart and mind.  That is the peace you need to ask God for.  Why?  Because when your mind is guarded, that means that any and everything won’t have the ability to penetrate your mind.  It means that negative thoughts won’t be able to linger.  It means that negative conversations won’t be able to take root.  It means that you won’t be pondering the bad things your family or so-called friends may have said about you.  How do I know this?  Because when your mind is guarded, you can focus on other things. It’s kind of like when you get a new security system at your house.  You don’t have to worry about someone coming to the door and trying to get in without you realizing it.  Why?  Because you know that as long as your security system is activated the moment someone tries to break in, help will be called, and they will soon be on the way.  The peace of God is like that, but it’s even better.  Why?  Because the Bible says that when you are in the midst of trouble, God is a present help (Psalm 64:1).  Present.  Not “on the way”.  Present.  Remember, before you can even call on God, God is already there.  Isaiah 64:24 says, “Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear.“  God is ALWAYS around. It is so important to allow God to guard your mind.  It saves so much energy.  It keeps us free to focus on what we need to focus on.  What are we supposed to focus on?  The scripture tells us.  Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.  The peace is yours for the asking, but this is how you maintain it.  Think on these things.   The world will hurl things at you all day, every day.  Every Monday or Tuesday, the media gives the masses something to argue about.  A dress, an engagement ring, a video, a mother disciplining her child - SOMETHING.  And every week, people spend a good two days arguing, and then by the end of the week, everyone has forgotten about whatever it was.  Pay attention.  It happens every week.  If I were you, I would stop falling into the trap.  Allow your mind to be guarded so that you can focus on what really matters in the long run.  A guarded mind is one of the best things you could ever receive from God.

It’s Christmas!!!!  Goodness gracious.  I’m not really in the Christmas spirit, but I’m so glad to be alive!  We had such an amazing Christmas Eve service at church yesterday.  It was so good to see the smiles on everyone’s faces.  There were a few tears here and there, but through it all, we had an amazing time. I’m spending this Christmas by myself, and although I was kinda sad about it at first, it is totally okay.  I’m taking some time to work on some amazing things for my tribe and I’m enjoying some amazing movies on Amazon Prime Video and YouTube.  I refuse to be sad about what I can’t control.  Everything I experience in my life is only here to teach me a lesson - so I strive to learn my lessons and allow each experience to make me better regardless of how it makes me feel.  I encourage you to do the same.  I’m gonna share my Christmas FB post with you because I really want you to get this message: Christmas isn't "merry" for some people. Some people have "family" every day but holidays, so they spend the holidays alone. Some people have to sit at the family dinner table and be belittled or criticized by other family members. Some people are grieving. Some people are sad because they have absolutely nothing (physical) to give. Christmas isn't always a happy time. It's often a reminder that no matter how much we convince ourselves that things are a certain way, they're really not that way at all. For some, it's a reminder that you still don't really "belong" to anyone. For others, it's a reminder that you really are "the black sheep of the family". So. No matter what your issue is today, be sure to take care of YOU. Don't let your outside circumstances affect your inner peace. You don't have to be around your verbally abusive family members. Even if you have to be there physically, you don't have to be there mentally. Your loved one may not be there, but your loved one is okay. And if you don't have anything to give, don't give anybody anything. The best gift they could ever get from you IS YOU, whether they realize it or not. If you're waiting for this day to pass, don't worry - it will. But remember that at the end of your life, when you're wishing you'd had more time, this day will be included in the "more time" you will be wishing for. If I were you, I'd treat this day like any other day and make the best of it. ♥ Whether you’re surrounded by friends, enemies or no one at all, I want you to have yourself a merry little Christmas.  You deserve it.   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Do you remember the end of 2016?  Do you remember all the plans you made for this year?  Do you remember any of the dissapointments you felt at the end of last year?  Did you promise yourself to make better use of your time this year?  Did you make resoluations last year?  Did you make goals?  Do you remember what it felt like to be at the end of 2016?  Were you excited?  Did you feel accomplished?  Did you feel like you failed? Here we are at the last week of 2017.  The very last week.  I can honestly look back and say that I didn’t accomplish half of what I set out to accomplish this year.  However, I accomplished so much MORE than I could have ever imagined.  As I embark upon the last week of this year, I am evaluating a lot of things. I have made a lot of changes in my life over the past couple of weeks.  I have unfollowed a lot of people on social media just because I get tired of seeing the same people go through the same cycles all the time.  I have filled my newsfeeds with more positive and uplifting people as well as people who really challenge me and make me think.  I still have a few people who agitate me a little bit, but sometimes that agitation is very necessary.  Remember that iron sharpens iron, and it does so by creating friction and heat.  You need a little agitation in your life sometmes. I have also made some decisions about my lifestyle.  I’m gonna try to eliminate seafood from my diet next year.  I’m gonna cut my dairy intake by at least 50%.  I’m going to pray more, fast more and  DEFINITEY read more.  Definitely.  I’m not making a lot of plans for 2018, but I AM planning to enjoy every single day and to be intentional about doing so. As you embark upon the last week of the year, I encourage you to think about your life.  You are right where you need to be, so don’t get caught up “I should have been further”.  Maybe you should have, but right now, you are where you need to be in order to evaluate your successes and failures and move forward with a better plan.   While you use this time to reflect, be sure to forgive yourself for your mistakes.  Forgive others for theirs as well, whether they asked you to or not.  And as you reflect, be sure to set your intentions for next year.  Who do you intend to be?  What do you intend to do?  Where do you intend to go?  How do you intend to help people?  Write those intentions down.  Don’t type them out.  Get you a nice pen and write them down.  Your future will greatly appreiate it. Remember to live your life.  Don’t let your life live you. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

This time of year is so hard for so many people, and I think the pressure some of us put on ourselves is so unfair.  Let me just break it on down.  You do not have to go in debt trying to give people the world.  You don’t have to sit around and beat yourself up because you can’t buy your kids anything for Christmas.  There are too many toy giveaways and other charity events going on for you to be somewhere stressing about what you don’t have.  And I’m not saying this from an insensitive place because I understand what it’s like to want to do something and not be able to do it.  But what I’ve learned is that what we feel like we “have to do” really was never a requirement. So.  Do what you CAN.  Give out of what you HAVE.  Yeah, it may be true that you are currently lacking this or that, but what do you HAVE?  Focus on that.  Focus on everything you have.  I saw this amazing video on social media today, and I’m gonna share it with you on the episode notes on my website.  If you're already on my website, it's below. Don’t stress yourself out.  Please.  Ask yourself: “What do I have?”  Even if all you have is you, you are enough to make everyone’s Christmas the most merry Christmas ever.  I promise!  And if people don’t agree, then THEY are missing out - not you. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!  

I’m a huge fan of etymology.  Etymology is the study of words.  So often, we use words and we have no idea what they REALLY mean.  Let me give you an example: Webster defines “entertain” as "to show hospitality to  or to provide entertainment for."  So.  Having heard that, you would think that anything here to entertain you was just something to make you feel good, keep you amused or to take you out of your regular routine for a positive purpose, right?  Nah.  Here’s the breakdown of what entertain REALLY means.  It means "to keep up, maintain, to keep (someone) in a certain frame of mind,"  Anything that entertains you was actually created to keep you in a certain frame of mind.  This is why we have to be so selective about who and what we allow ourselves to be entertained by.  That one is for free.  I’ll talk about it more next year, though. Anyway, let’s talk about emotions.  Etymology lets us know that an emotion is “a social moving, stirring, agitation”.  What does this mean?  It means that any time an emotion comes, it comes as a movement and it comes to move, stir or agitate you.  This is why people say that they were hit with a “wave” or a “flood” of emotion.  Here’s the tea tho: Emotions come as moving, stirring and agitating because they are supposed to keep moving.  We stop them and wallow in them, which prevents them from achieving their intended purpose.  Think about it.  If you’re standing on the shore trying to take pictures, and you move with every wave that comes, you will NEVER get anything done.  The same is true with emotions.   When you feel a happy emotion, you are supposed to fully embrace and enjoy those moments of happiness.  However, if you lock yourself into that one moment of happiness, how will you ever see what the rest of your life has to offer?  There could be a million more happy moments coming your way, but you can’t get to them if you allow yourself to be stagnant in or moved off course by that one moment of happiness.  The same is true about anger.  If you let your anger move you, you could end up doing something you would regret for the rest of your life.  On the flip side, you could feel your anger, be present in that moment, learn what you need to learn, plan what you need to plan, and allow that anger to pass so that you may enjoy the next moment life has to offer. See how that works?  I’m not telling you not to feel your emotions.  As a matter of fact, what I’m actually telling you is to feel your emotions completely and wholeheartedly.  But after you feel them, let them pass.  Keep them in motion.   I found myself going through so many emotional ups and downs and highs and lows all the time.  Why?  Because I allowed emotions to move me.  It got so bad that I actually created a journal that I still use to this day.  In the journal, I literally plan what I’m going to do when I feel sad and/or angry.  That way, if I find myself in one of those moments, I know exactly what I need to do.  This journal has been a lifesaver for me.  If you would like one, just check out the episode notes on my website and you’ll see the link there (or if you're on my website, the link is below). Whether you get a journal or not, the most important thing to me is that you keep your emotions in motion.  Always.  The good ones, the not so good ones - ALL of them.  It’s so much better for your health. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow! XOXO, Na'Kole ♥         /*

One thing I love about us human beings is our ability to sympathize and empathize.  Here’s a refresher for those who may have forgotten the difference: sympathy is when you feel sorry for someone, and empathy is when you are able to put yourself in the person’s shoes (often because you have been in a similar situation).  Sympathy says “I am sorry you’re in pain”.  Empathy says “I feel our pain”.  You don’t have to have experienced the same thing as a person to feel their pain, but having similar experiences often makes it easier to empathize with a person.  Got it?  Let’s continue. I know you’ve experienced this.  Someone posts on social media about how they’re feeling and underneath that post is a flood of “me too”, “I went through that too”, “Yeah I’m going through it too”, etc.  The person could say they lost $50 and someone will comment and say “Well I lost $500 the other day.”  Let me just break this down for a moment. Although we should show empathy and let people know that we feel where they are coming from, it is not always appropriate to make someone else’s time of venting, grieving etc. about you.  In essence, when you post your “me too”, that’s what you’re doing.  You may not MEAN to do that, but that’s what you’re doing. As you may know, I am a suicide prevention specialist.  Imagine this.  Imagine this being the conversation between me and a suicidal person: Them: I feel so horrible today. Me: Me too! Them: I really feel like killing myself today. Me: I understand.  I felt that way yesterday. Them: Yeah, my mom is in the hospital. Me: Sorry to hear that.  Last month, my mom was in the hospital. Them: It’s just so hard trying to go see her and go to work. Me: When my mom and dad were in the hospital, I had to work and go to school too, so I know how you feel. Do you get the point?  What value did I add to that conversation?  How would I have helped the individual if all I did was fire back a “me too” to everything they said?  To some people, not only is this frustrating, but it could also be very offensive.  The person didn’t call me to hear about my problems.  They called to get help for theirs. Now let’s spin this conversation a different way. Them: I feel so horrible today. Me: I’m so sorry to hear that.  What’s got you feeling so bad? Them: Well my mom is in the hospital. Me: That’s gotta be tough.  I’m definitely gonna keep your mom in my thoughts and prayers.  How are you taking care of yourself while going through this situation with your mom?  (Notice that I have not yet used a “me too” statement.) Them: Well it’s hard because I have to work and try to see her too.  It’s a lot. Me: Well, I can understand how hard that must be.  I have been in a similar situation so I can relate.  I think I have some advice that may help you.  Would you like to hear it? Do you see how I structured my “me too” statement?  It wasn’t appropriate to just fire it off at the beginning of the conversation.  It also isn’t appropriate to give unsolicited advice.  Let’s continue. Them: Sure. Me: So, last month, my mom AND my dad were in the hospital.  It was a lot on me.  I had to visit with both of them AND work AND go to school.  I didn’t know how I was gonna get it all done, so this is what I did… See how that works?  Sometimes it’s not about what you say.  It’s about how you say it and WHEN you say it. Don’t be so quick to interject your “me too”.  Be sure to give the other person time to express how they feel before you shift the conversation to yourself.  And honestly, sometimes a “me too” is not appropriate at any point in the conversation.  Sometimes it’s just best to let the other person vent and express how they feel.   I hope this helps.  And if you ever find yourself on the receiving end of an inappropriate “me too”, feel free to share this podcast!  I don’t mind at all.   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!

Today is our FIFTIETH EPISODE together!!!  WOW!!!   Thank you soooooooo much for supporting my podcast.  I really, really REALLY appreciate it more than you will ever know! It’s only gonna get better from here. Starting in January, I’m going to be interviewing people from all over the world who have powerful and amazing stories to tell. In February, I will be doing a series entitled “I Believe in the Black Man”, and I will be highlighting African-American males who are making a difference in this world.  If you are one or if you know of one, please let me know!  The more, the merrier! If there is any topic you want me to cover on As Told by Kole, let me know, and I will do my best to make it happen. And finally, as a way to say THANK YOU, I am giving away a few of my I Speak Life books.  The only thing you have to do to win is listen to my podcast about bereavement during the holidays and share it.  I’ll announce winners on Christmas Day. Until next time, be great!  Show love to yourself and others.  Catch me tomorrow! Sign Up for Love in the Morning! Fill out the form to receive our text alerts. Subscribe Message & data rates may apply. See terms of use and privacy policy. To opt-out, text STOP at any time. SMS marketing by Clearstream. var $csj = jQuery.noConflict(true);

If there is one thing you should know about me by now, it’s that I believe in SELF-reflection.  I believe that we often get so caught up in the lives and affairs of others that we forget to look at ourselves.  One thing I know for sure is that life is ALWAYS teaching us.  Every situation you will ever face came to teach you.  Every single one. So often, we will learn a piece of a lesson, and before we can even walk that part out, we are all ready somewhere trying to teach the lesson to someone else. I know you see it all the time on social media.  If you haven’t had time to apply a lesson, have you really learned it?   Everyone on this planet is here to learn a lesson.  Everyone.  Our relationships are here to teach us how to love, live and better ourselves.  Our trials are here to teach us how to endure and how to protect ourselves.  Our weaknesses are here to teach us how to pull on the strength of God.  Our ups are here to teach us to celebrate.  Our downs are here to teach us to pray.  Our frustrations are here to teach us to be patient, wise and ready to make a move if necessary.  Our bills are here to teach us to be responsible.  Our ailments are here to teach us to appreciate the vessels that house our spirits.  Every single thing about this experience is a teacher. What we have to realize is that our focus isn’t on what we are teaching.  Our focus should always be on what we are here to learn.  Richard Bach put it like this: “We teach best what we most need to learn.”  This is so true.  Have you ever noticed how easy it is to step on a soapbox and give advice but how hard it is to turn around and take that advice you gave from the soapbox?  You were a beast at teaching it, but what shows if you have really learned the lesson is whether or not you can apply it. It’s a bad thing to be a person who can teach others to swim but turns around and drowns.  It’s a bad thing to teach others how to fish and then die of starvation.  In life, there is nothing the enemy of our souls would rather do than to make us look like fools and liars.  How?  By boosting us up and making us think we have mastered something that we haven’t mastered.   What am I saying?  Don’t be so eager to teach that you forget that you are here to learn.  Should you teach?  Absolutely.  I teach every day on this podcast.  But you know why I’m able to do that?  Because I took the time to learn the lessons this life is teaching me.  I’m still learning.  Learning never stops.  Don’t miss your lessons because you’re so busy trying to teach someone else theirs.  Embrace the learning process, embrace the lessons, and embrace your life.  Learn all you can while you can. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

I wish I could tell you that this is one of the greatest lessons I’ve ever learned, but I don’t really think I have mastered it yet.  I’m trying, though!   Here we go.  A lot of what we think is personal really isn’t personal in the sense that we often believe.  What a person does to you isn’t “personal”.  It’s a reflection of something that is within that individual that they are attempting to project onto you.  However, the “personal” part is making sure that you uncover and understand what it is that you are to learn from the experience you had, and what it is that is in you that allowed or caused this thing to happen. In saying that, balance is key.  There is a difference between introspection and self-blaming.  You are not to blame for how others treat you, but you can definitely evaluate your life and see how you can stop allowing people to treat you certain ways.  Balance. There are people in your life who seem to always be grouchy.  Not your problem.  You can choose to allow their grouchiness to affect you, you can choose to ignore them, you can choose to tell them about their actions, or you can choose to stop being in relationship with them.  The only thing personal about the situation is YOUR CHOICE.  Don’t allow yourself to take the blame for how anyone else is.  It’s not your problem, your issue, your fault. It is human nature to think, “What did I do?”  “What is wrong with me that people treat me like this?”  “Why don’t people treat me right?”  And these are valid questions as long as they are asked from the right place.  If you’re asking from a “I blame myself for the actions of others” place, that is totally unhealthy.  If you’re asking from a “I am going to use my experiences as opportunities to learn what I need to change about myself and how I interact with people” place, you’re good to go.  Remember: Don’t take it personal.  Not today, not ever. Everything about your life is here to teach you.  Life isn’t here to beat you down or make you feel bad about yourself.  Life is here to teach you.  When you learn that and really grasp that concept, you will learn how to see what people do and look beyond their actions to see the lesson.  Do I do this all the time?  Nope.  Do I take stuff personal sometimes, absolutely.  But it’s not because I don’t know better.  And now you know better, too.  When you know better, you are supposed to do better.  That’s my challenge to myself today, and I’m challenging you too! Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥    

Roller coasters.  You either love them or you hate them.  You know the routine.  You stand in line.  You wait.  You get up to the front of the line.  You have second thoughts.  You get on.  You call on Jesus, pray and do all that stuff, even if you don't even pray on a regular basis.  You take a deep breath.  You take off.  The screaming commences.  You don’t really know what’s happening or where you’re going.  You close your eyes, but they you open them because you want to see what’s going on.  You go up… and up, and up, and up.  You see it coming.  You brace yourself.  However, even after all of your bracing, you’re still not prepared.  Down you go.  Fast.  You call Jesus again.  Your face?  Oh, you’ll see that as soon as you get off the ride.  Plastered on a screen for all to see.  Up and down, round and round you go.  And then, just like that, it’s over. Roller coasters.  Here’s the thing, though.  You can’t really be mad at a rollercoaster because you elected to ride it.  You more than likely paid to ride it.  You stood in line, you waited, you did all of that.  The only time you really get mad about a rollercoaster ride is if it wasn’t enough of a ride or if the ride gave you whiplash or something.  Other than that, you stumble off the ride and cringe when you see how horrible your face looked, and you go on with your day. But what about those other roller coasters?  The ones you DIDN’T pay for.  The ones you DIDN’T sign up for.  What about those?  Those are the ones we’re going to talk about today. If you’re not careful, you will find yourself on roller coasters you have no idea how you got on.  Things will start off great, and then out of nowhere, the ups and downs will start.  The twists and turns will start.  The flips and switches will start - and you will find yourself in a state of confusion not understanding what is going on.  And sometimes, just like a real rollercoaster, there is nothing you can do but ride it out. I’m going to present you with to options.  When you find yourself on a rollercoaster that you didn’t sign up for, you can either escape or endure.  I Corinthians 10:13 (New Living Translation) puts it like this: “ The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.“   Let’s talk about the escape first.  God will always, always, ALWAYS show you a way out.  Now keep in mind, that’s ALL God is gonna do.  God isn’t going to go in there and get you and drag you out…. because God didn’t drag you in.  God is going to SHOW YOU a way out so that YOU can get out.  The way out is on God.  The getting out is on you.   Your other option is to endure.  Not to CONDONE, but to endure.  Sometimes the only way off the ride is to make it to the end.  And if that is the only option, God is going to give you grace (which is supernatural empowerment) to do so.  Always know that.   When you find yourself on a roller coaster with someone, I can’t tell you which option to choose.  But what I can tell you is that when you get off that roller coaster, don’t you get your behind back up there again.  And if you do, you may as well just ride it out because you already knew what you were getting into when you got up there.  No need to stop the ride this time.  You already knew. Sometimes, roller coasters with people are great.  They’re beneficial.  Business partnerships, relationships, all kinds of stuff.  But when it’s not good for you, you already know what to do.  Escape or endure.  Simple as that.   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

Let me preface the podcast by saying this: It is not okay to use your success to try to belittle others.  It is not okay to be pompous and arrogant.  But honey…  IT IS OKAY TO CELEBRATE.  It is okay to post on social media that your life is going well.  It is okay to take yourself out to eat just because.  It’s okay to buy yourself an outfit to celebrate a win you just had.  Now of course you need to be wise in your spending and in how much you share with the world… But it is perfectly okay to celebrate! People will often say things to make us feel like we are wrong for being happy with our lives.  They’ll act like we are being arrogant just because we posted a win.  They’ll act like we are being careless because we went to the movies by ourselves in the middle of the day to unwind after a long week of work, or even “just because”.  But let me tell you something: You are not always gonna be here.  So while you’re here, you need to celebrate yourself.   Let me take it a step further.  You don’t always even have to celebrate yourself because you specifically did something.  Sometimes it’s good to celebrate you just because you’re you.  There is NOTHING wrong with that at all.  If no one else ever celebrates you, you shouldn’t go uncelebrated.  Celebrate yourself!  Do you know how often I take myself out to eat?  At least twice per month.  Why?  Because I’m an amazing person and I need to treat myself accordingly.  Do you know how often I throw dance parties for myself?  Every other day.  Why?  Because I deserve to dance! STOP letting people make you feel bad about celebrating yourself.  They don’t want you to celebrate yourself because they can’t celebrate themselves.  They don’t celebrate you because they feel like celebrating you would take away from them.  Is that your problem, though?  Absolutely not.   Go get your nails done.  Get your feet done.  Go for a nice walk.  Go eat a nice dinner.  Dance to some funky music.  Hang out with your friends.  Do whatever it takes to celebrate yourself.  I mean, don’t break the law or anything, but you know what I’m saying.  It is okay to celebrate yourself.  It’s always in style.  It’s always the season, and it’s okay.  It really is!  Do it!!!   Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

  I’m going to tell you something interesting.  God has all power.  Literally.  God literally has all of the power that can and will ever exist.  But do you know what is even more interesting?  God is not going to just strike you with a lightning rod and change you.  You have to desire to be changed, and you have to work towards that change.     You can lay in the bed and say “God, please remove these twenty pounds.”  But what God is going to do is open up an opportunity for you to get in the gym, in your neighborhood or whatever, and WORK those twenty pounds off of you.  Whether it’s walking, running, making tea or whatever it is, there is something you must do.  How many times have you been in a situation and realized that the situation wasn't gonna change until you made a change?  How many times have you been dealing with something and realized that even if the situation didn’t change, you needed to change the way you looked at the situation?   So.  Let me ask you something.  If all of the above is true about your life, and you are with you every day and every night, and you can’t change you until you change you…  Why would you then turn around and think you could change someone else?     You cannot change people.  Let me say it again: You cannot change people.  Why do you think Jesus asked “Will thou be made whole” before He touched people?  Because for one, He wanted to make sure that healing is really what they wanted.  And secondly, He wanted to remind us of our own power to get free or stay bound based on our choices.   In my city, on the side of the bypass, there is a man who lives in a tent.  One of my FB friends posted about this man, and people began to comment and say things like “Well I offered to help him and he declined.”  “I offered to put him up in a hotel and he got snappy with me and declined my offer.”  “He doesn’t want any help.”  “The police offered to help him and he turned them down.”  Now I could go out there with thousands of dollars, buy this man a car and a house - but if he doesn’t want to change his lifestyle, I will have wasted my efforts.  The same is true with people in your life. We spend so much of our time trying to change people.  “Well if I do this, maybe she’ll change.”  “If I give him this, maybe he will act right.”  But the fact of the matter is that you do not have the power to change anyone but you.  Period.  You can’t change your parents.  You can’t change your kids.  You can’t change your spouse.  You can’t change folks. So.  When you are in a situation that requires change, I’m not telling you to be discouraged.  I’m just telling you to be realistic and understand that you can only change what you can change.  And what is that?  You can change yourself, you can change your presence/position in the situation, and you can change the way you think about the situation.  That’s it.   Don’t get yourself all worked up trying to change someone else.  It’s not going to happen.  Like the little girl said on the Facebook video: “Worry about yasself.”  That’s all you can do.  Evaluate the situations in your life and see what you can change about you.  That’ll keep you living in peace.     Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.   Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥  

It is so amazing how people can hate you (and I mean really hate you) and not even know why.  It is even more amazing how people can hate you and not even realize how much they hate you.  They will treat you like a junkyard dog and when you ask them why they hate you, they’ll say, “What are you talking about?  I don’t hate you.”  And some of them will even be bold enough to say, “You know I love you.” Let me help everybody though.  The Bible says in Matthew 12:33 (New International Version): “Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit.”   This means that there is a choice.  The tree can be made to be either good or bad.  It also means that good fruit isn’t going to come from a bad tree, and bad fruit isn’t gonna come from a good tree.  Now can a good tree produce good fruit that turns bad because of other elements?  Absolutely.  But when it comes FROM the tree, it’s good.  The tree can’t control what happens after the fruit leaves it.  The only thing the tree can do is produce fruit that lets you know what kind of tree it is. Now.  Is it possible for someone to love you and still mistreat you?  Absolutely.  Is it possible for a person to hate you but really love you?  Absolutely not.  It seems like a complicated juxtaposition of circumstances, but it’s really not.  When someone really loves you but their actions (although done with good intent) are a little misguided, that’s like a good fruit that fell from the tree and got bruised because it fell on a hard place on the ground.  Or the fruit that wasn’t all the way ripe and the wind knocked it off the tree too soon.  The person who hates you is like the fruit that is bad on the tree and falls off and it’s still bad.  See the difference? It is possible for people to be so accustomed to their bad fruit that they don’t even realize what’s coming off their tree.  It is very possible for someone to hate themselves so much that they hate you by default.  It is possible for someone to be aware of their bad fruit but not think they can change their tree so they resent you for having good fruit and they don’t even realize it.  All of this is possible. In your lifetime, you will encounter people who hate you for no reason.  Some will be aware of it, and some will not.  However, what you have to remember is that any time someone hates you without a cause, what they really hate is something within themselves.  Don’t ever allow yourself to get bent out of shape about that.  Remember, a tree is known by the fruit IT BEARS, not the grass around it, the bushes next to it or the people who come to pick it.  The tree isn’t even known for the fruit coming from the trees that are around it. You are not responsible for how others feel about you.  You’re responsible for you.  Keep yourself together, love yourself, and just pray that those “bad trees” will be pruned or replanted or whatever it takes to make them good again.  It’s possible, and if you believe it can happen, it will happen as long as that person is open to change and growth.  Your focus, though, is making sure that your tree is good.  That’s it.  Does that excuse what others do?  No.  Does it mean you have to put up with it?  Absolutely not.  Because remember - one bad apple spoils the bunch.  If a good tree gets tangled up with a bad tree, it’s more likely that the bad tree will corrupt the good tree than it is that the good tree will overtake the bad tree.  Why?  Because everything about the bad tree is bad, so the good tree would have to literally deplete itself to keep itself good and make a whole separate tree good too.  As you will learn in tomorrow’s podcast, that is not our job at all.  You have one job: keep your tree good. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥

About twelve years ago, Lady Apostle Sharon Edmond preached a sermon called “I Will Not Be Affected by Small Minds”.  Of all the sermons she has ever preached, that one stood out to me then and it still does to this day. It is so easy for us to allow ourselves to be affected by what others think.  How many times have you pushed a dream to the back burner because of someone else telling you that they had failed at what you were about to try?  How many times have you failed to go after an opportunity because someone else told you (directly or indirectly) that there was no need for you to do so? I don’t know if you’ve seen the movie “Fences”, but in the movie, Denzel Washington’s character had been a baseball player.  Things didn’t really work out for him, so he came back home to live a normal life, and his son came along and eventually wanted to play ball.  You would think this would have been met with excitement and encouragement, but it wasn’t.  It was met with much opposition.  If you haven’t seen the movie, I won’t spoil it for you, but let’s just say that Denzel’s character wasn’t having it.  Why?  Because he couldn’t see past his own failure.  His mind hadn’t enlarged enough to be able to accommodate the thought that his son could and should go on to be better and greater than him.  His mind was closed and wrapped around his own failures, so he couldn’t imagine his son having success. How many times have we seen this?  How many times have we seen people do all that is within their power to stop their kids from leaving the small town they grew up in just because they never made it out of the small town?  Now there is nothing wrong with living in a small town, but there IS something wrong with using your words and actions to manipulate situations to keep people there when there is success waiting for them somewhere else. I’m telling you now: Don’t allow yourself to be affected by small minds.  Small-minded people will have you sitting down on your gifts and running away from your dreams.  You have to love yourself enough to know when it’s time to say “Mom, Dad, Cousin, Friend or whoever - I appreciate you taking the time to share your opinion, but I’m going to go for it because I KNOW I will be successful.”  Don’t be the person who is bitter in their older days because they didn’t take advantage of opportunities in their younger days.  Don’t be the person who gets trapped in a dead-end job because you didn’t want your family to think you were trying to be better than them.  You should be better FOR YOU.  It’s not about them. Say it with me: “I will not be affected by small minds”.  Whatever you believe you can have, you can have it.  Whatever you believe you can do, you can do it!  Remember that. Have an amazing day today.  Show love to yourself AND others.  Be GREAT!  I speak life to you and everyone and everything connected to you!  Catch me tomorrow!   XOXO, Na'Kole ♥