Begin Again.

Chaos caused by a mental disorder. Symptoms: Inattentiveness, impulsivity, hyperactivity. Medical Claims: No cure. Serp? → the Culprit. A little back story here SERP is the cousin of AD (someone you will meet later). SERP isn't someone you can see. Some will tell you that it is all in your head. Others will tell you he's an excuse because you need something to blame things on. But what is about the things that you feel that you can't see that feel the most real? This episode is also available as a blog post: http://letitbeginagain.com/2022/08/11/serp-%f0%9f%90%8d/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Your New Journey Begins After those initial birth pains, a new energy arises. A Life of Continual Newness Do you not skimp on our time together. Resist the temptation to make excuses as to why you can't spend time with me. This sacrifice of time pleases me and strengthens you. Daily Routine with Scripture provides → Truthful instruction → Strengthens your faith → Prepares you to live a godly lifestyle → Allow God's word to bless you as it becomes part of who you are… Blessed. You get a new God-given energy that propels you forward and propels you along the path. A Desire for More Do not cling to old ways Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will. - Romans 12:2 Prayer l Faith over Fear My Prayer today God is that from this day forward your spirit enables me to choose faith over fear. Instead of holding back I ask that your spirit enables me to move forward. God I ask that you help me believe you are working things out for my good. Let's begin this together. Even when I knowing else, this I do know that he who started this work in me shall be faithful to complete it. As you lead me forward with your Spirit God I know that I am truly blessed. In Jesus Name, I Pray. INPUT Select a deviceBuilt-in Microphone Automatically convert to audio This episode is also available as a blog post: http://letitbeginagain.com/2022/04/03/feeling-the-first-heartbeat/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

What we speak, we create. Our words are only the beginning. Words should be followed with action. Taking it from what you say to what you can see. Again and again, day after day. Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12 Prayer l Building the Character to sustain God, I pray a bold prayer in asking you to work through me. I want to see, feel and hear you in everything. I thank you for the opportunities you provide. I thank you for new relationships and friendships. Jesus help me develop the character to sustain and maintain the new things you are brining into my life. Give me the wisdom and understanding I need to have to take care of what you have entrusted me with. Empower me to do all that you are calling me to do. Thank you for Newness. – Jesus in your powerful name I pray. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://letitbeginagain.com/2022/04/03/in-the-desert-day-1/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

The beginning of becoming great starts with… How else will I know unless I find out? Faith is one of those things where many people could say they have, but when it comes to putting the things that really matter to us on the line that is where our Faith gets put to the test. Sink or swim right? This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/15/coquette-12/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

There were two paths. It was never easy to be chosen. Having to choose between easy and stagnant or hard and impossible… she chose. The writing was on the wall. But not in your strength but by my favor on you. The price was sacrifice. Grain of sand That's what you have. But give me your sacrifice and what you choose to subtract, I won't just add… I will multiply. I am a God of multiplication. You will have a beach full of sand and that is a promise. That is what you have to look forward to. So don't take your focus off. And it's just the beginning This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/07/suiting-up/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Letters to God If you can remember where you laid it down I'll show you how to take it up again. I'll give you the power to take it up again when you it lay down! There is a version of you that I want to prove to you exists but you can't see it unless you sacrifice. Sacrifice changes things. Shifts things. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/28/give-it-up/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Beauty in the Struggle Not wanting to ask for help. Not wanting to be vulnerable. This weight that she had been caring, she just couldn't carry it anymore. So she gave it to God and he took it. He knew what she needed and he was there so she wasn't in this alone. She wasn't by herself. She had only felt she was. If only she could remember that in her weakest moments then they wouldn't make her feel like she was drowning. She was starting to see that she still wasn't ready and maybe she wouldn't be for a while. Or did this mean that she was actually getting closer? This was actually the first time that she was even brave enough to even consider trying again. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-10/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

It's funny how in the end you begin to think about the beginning. She began to remember the exact moment she knew she was going to allow that walking red flag turn into a walking regret. What are you doing? Making decisions Siren. I'm deciding on you. There were layers to a statement like that. Back then… she knew what she was thinking and her mind told her exactly why settling had been better for her all those years. The highest of the highs only brought the lowest of the lows. Jumping from high to high only worked for so long. Eventually that approach took a turn and everything she ever tried to bury re-surfaced with Siren and now her emotions felt like they were beginning to seep out of her skin. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-9/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

After years of shunning love she had given it another try. She wasn't counting on old pain coming back and she definitely wasn't counting on it coming back this strong. If only she could get out of her head long enough to be still. Still enough to feel her heart again. Hurt. She was feeling hurt. She paused. She remembered that in quietness and trust was her strength. Why can't I let this go? The enemy never moves in a moment of strength, he moves in a moment of weakness. When you're at your weakest. 10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full - John 10:10 You keep wearing anger to cover up your sadness. I'm waiting on you to ask me to give you your heart back. I can heal the hurt. I can give you you back. I can show you how to forgive. I can show you how to let go of that bitterness weighing you down. I can show you how to stop blaming people in offense. I want to teach you how to speak in truth and grace. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She caught wind. She exhaled everything negative and could feel all the bad blowing away. She inhaled Gods breathe. He must increase, but I must decrease - John 3:30 If you're going to give back something. Give back love. Less of her meant, meant more of him. When she let out her breathe, she took in his. I am not going to keep living this way. I am not going to keep questioning my worth. I am not going to keep putting myself on clearance. God is calling me out of this cycle. Out of this depression. Out of this brokenness. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Siren, I don't think you know who you really are. It's who you think you are that makes you do things you later regret. You give sweet nothings because deep down you feel you can't keep up. You're not yet a man, you're a scared little boy in a grown man's uniform. Coquette, I don't think you realize how powerful your words are. I do realize. You say it all but give nothing at all. Like clouds and wind without rain is a man who boasts of a gift he does not give - Proverbs 25.14 You're acting crazy again I might be a lot of things but a babysitter for a grown man is not one of them. So go disappoint the next girl, or the next few. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/30/the-lesson/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She preferred tequila, clear tequila. It was better for. It went down a lot smoother. Sure it made her a little crazy but she knew what she was going to get and she knew how to handle her shots. Lucky for her, he was tequila and she didn't need salt and a lime to take him. But chances were that the faster she drank it, the sooner she would run out. The crazy that tequila brought on was always a good time and a good story. She knew she liked it better and preferred it so why would she ever go for whiskey? Oh yeah she remembered. Tequila had a way of coming on strong and although she loved it when it was gone it left a nasty hangover. Coquette how about leaving whiskey and tequila behind? She had been wondering where he had been. The days had turned into weeks and this whole time she had been drowning. Wine. I want to turn you into wine. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland – Isaiah 43:19 Liquor was the only thing that she had ever known. She had a choice to make. She could keep trying to find her answers at the bottom of every bottle she chose to have or she could choose to drink from a fresh well- a well that never ran out of water. A well that would forever quench her thirst. If you give it up I will give you better than you can even ask for. Give me what you have in your hand and I will release what is in mine. Divine exchange. Coquette was about to find out that God was taking her in as a seed form. And if you let patience perfect the work in you, you will become wine. 4 But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing - James 1:4 You're strongest when you are wine. You'll be most effective. Instead of you being consumed you'll be doing the consuming. Wine changes the spirits of those who drink it. But first you will be under foot. But when your time comes to come out from under foot, you'll be what God had in mind. God hadn't left. She just couldn't see him. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/tequilawine/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

They were all hers now. These whiskey stones were going to turn into her stepping stones The problem was that she never did like the taste of whiskey or hard things. Whiskey burned and stones hurt. Whiskey had a way of being so inconsistent. She never knew if she was going to get sick or have a great time with it. She could never really tell what feeling it was going bring. How about another round? No. I think my last dance with the devil was the last one. She knew that the fake sugar in whiskey had a way of making her crash. She knew that kind of sugar would deplete her later and for the first time… it wasn't worth having. Whiskey would never give her a headache again. She had had enough whiskey stones. She didn't need anymore. She decided she was going to put her history in writing and even better on stone tablets. Written in stone and built from the hard stuff. Chisel out two stone tablets like the first ones, and I will write on them the words that were on the first tablets, which you broke. Be ready in the morning, and then come up on Mount Sinai. Present yourself to me there on top of the mountain. - Exodus 34:1 This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/whiskey-stones-%f0%9f%a5%83/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

But she had to go back first. Think back to the moment where you almost allowed your light to give out. Flickering Light She didn't want to think about that. It was too dark. Dark to experience and it was too dark to think about. That moment had come close to taking her out for good. But it didn't. You had light. Remember the lesson, not the moment. What are you going to do with it? Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you - Psalm 139:12 Reluctantly Coquette went back to that day. The day she was hearing voices. Those voices.Voices that wouldn't ever leave her alone. But on that particular day they were a little louder… loud enough that they started to make sense and they started to sound right. It was too hard, it was too much and she could fix it if she just ended it. It almost worked. She got up and said to herself… world have your things I'd rather be with God. But God had other plans. You may not be with me but I am with you. Always. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you or forsake you” -Deuteronomy 31.6 Her light had started flickering that day – it almost gave out but it didn't and it wasn't going to now. Quite the opposite, it was getting brighter and brighter. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/coquette-6/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

As it turns out someone who loved her more than she could ever imagine already had paid a price...a very high price, the ultimate price – he paid it for her. 18 And I pray that you and all God's holy people will have the power to understand the greatness of Christ's love—how wide, how long, how high, and how deep that love is. 19 Christ's love is greater than anyone can ever know, but I pray that you will be able to know that love. Then you can be filled with everything God has for you -Ephesians 3:18-21 Coquette loved red roses but there was some thing about white roses that really got to her. Red reminded her of passion but white reminded her of purity. A song started playing in her head. She started to change her mind on what she thought red roses meant.

She was always reminded of that one promise. That one promise that got brought back to her mind when things started polluting her brain. When things started to get fuzzy. Whenever she wasn't sure of she was doing anymore. She knew where she had been but she didn't know where she was going. On this day in particular she was going around in circles. Literally! – She was driving around and trying to figure out what she wanted to eat. Before getting food she had to make a stop at the grocery store to buy alcohol for the concert she was going to be going to later on. She always felt a little extra loved by God whenever she got the first parking lot. He knew how giddy it made her and he always seemed to get a kick out of it too. That's the thing about living life with God. You begin to see and hear him in even the smallest of things – only the little things were always the big things for her. Before walking in the store she heard music playing and saw a man playing music on a melodica. It was a beautiful song he was playing and she felt God tuck at her heart to give him some cash. She was working on listening more to that quiet still voice that she only heard when she was still enough to hear it. She heard what she thought was five and as soon as she walked in, there was a big red sign with the number 5 on it. She picked up her 6-pk of white-claws – typical for the girl who grew up in Orange County. It was the thing to drink and it helped they were low cal.c This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-8/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

PSL with a side of Lonely It's Friday morning 7:30 am. Fall was just starting and Coquette had been waiting for this day… Starbucks ⭐️ had officially released their seasonal Pumpkin Spice Lattes ☕️. She grabbed what she had been waiting for all year long and headed back home. Her excitement wore off as she got back home. She had come back to an empty apartment. What use to feel like bliss was putting her in a mood lately and not one she liked. Standing in her kitchen all she could manage to do was get lost in her thoughts. She was wondering how the life she use to dream of had found a way to be better in her imagination than in her reality. Ever since her and Siren broken up she had learned to re-direct all of her energy back on herself. But she was beginning to recognize that trying to get to this place where she didn't need anyone only left her shutting herself off and she had now become an island. I am not meant to live out this life all by myself. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/12/23/coquette-7/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

There it was again – a moment of revelation. She had spent enough time with God to learn his voice so she was able to lean into what he was whispering into her heart. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me - John 10:27 Sometimes it's not the person you're dealing with, it's the spirit behind the person. Are all men really liars? Or is the same demon taunting you over and over because he knows your weakness? If only you would realize your worth. If only you could let me show you how I see you. Your worth is not up for debate. Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies - Proverbs 31:10 God telling her how valuable she was made her question herself. Why had she put herself on clearance? She acted as if going on sale would mean that whoever bought her was going to be the one who was going to give her a permanent home. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/28/coquette-4/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Letters To God Why does it feel like I'm drowning now? Why now? Why is this all surfacing now? 22“The eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. 23But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness! - Matthew 6:22-23 NIV Coquette had spent 3 years of learning God's word and she was starting to see that he had been writing in her heart this whole time. He did always promise to never leave her and to always go before her. For a long time she couldn't grasp that truth because in the back of her mind she was still believing that men always lied. I am not a man that shall lie Here he was showing her that he was not going to change his mind about what he promised her. His word is never changing. He wasn't man but he had become one to do what she craved for someone to do for her… to save her. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

She was so blinded by her need for love so much that she had failed to see the Devil in the details. It's crazy how we choose to believe what we want, ignore what we know only to be surprised to get what we should have expected in the first place. It had been a few days of conversation back and forth and now they were getting to the harder conversations. The ones she had spent so much time avoiding because years later…it was still a hard pill to swallow. She learned that if she avoided any and all reminders of what that one year had brought her she could function fine. She could at least pretend she was- like there wasn't this deep hole in her heart. She thought that was hard but being vulnerable with Siren was now stirring up something in her insides. I don't know if I can trust this Siren. I don't trust men too easily. I've been here before and the last time that this happened.. errr … everybody crashes and I know that living in the fast lane only makes the impact that much harder. I barely survived the last crash, I don't know what would happen or who I would turn into if I crashed again. I'm not 24 anymore. What does that mean? I used to run around and I loved the chase. That's not the case anymore. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Season: Fall A smell of honeysuckle Dating you was Coquette's favorite perfume to put on before seeing Siren. Coquette wasn't your average prostitute. For her it had nothing to do with getting paid financially. Her form of payment was paid by how she felt emotionally. [Prostitute: A person, in particular a woman, who engages in sexual activity for payment.] They were walking by a homeless man and a second later he wrapped his arms around her walking behind her. She dated guys who would pay no mind or attention to whether she felt safe when she was with them and he was making sure that she felt safe. Without knowing that she had always been frightened of strangers only not homeless people. She felt homeless people were the closest to God. Maybe it wasn't too far off. God did say in scripture that he's close to the broken-hearted. Maybe there was a lot more to it than people would like to think or maybe they knew but it was easier to ignore. We all have battles… only theirs seem to be on display for the world to see. It seemed to her that hers were too. People knew what kind of girl she was. What people didn't know was there was much more to her then she would let them see. Still, she couldn't talk about God. If there was anyone qualified for that job it certainly couldn't be her. It wasn't until after her last transaction that she was beginning to understand that although she believed in God – she didn't know God. A part of her wondered if she still would let herself get walked all over.. if she still could. It was as if she came with a price tag and the only time she would get bought was when she put herself on clearance. It seemed as if it was only those kind of men who could afford her. But how did I get here again? What got to her that night was the thought of him wanting to make her feel safe and comfortable. Her favorite things in life were moments like these. Moments where she felt that someone musthave God's ear because only God can whisper the exact thing needed at that moment, moving hearts and creating a memory like this is what she believed had to have been sent from God. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/11/27/coquette/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

In this Messy Season As she seeks me in her mess, she will show others how to find freedom from that weight showing that I am a good God. Her gentleness will be her strength. Her balance will be the beauty of her soul. Her love will be the fiercest weapon. She will be a learner and a lover of truth. She will crave certainty. But people are unpredictable and circumstances will often cause her confusion. These will be some of our closest times together, she and I. When she learns something while confused, she remembers it forever. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/16/seasons-of-a-butterfly-%f0%9f%a6%8b/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Avoid sugar Sugar is a carbohydrate, and all carbohydrates, if consumed in excess can promote fluid retention. Avoid dairy products Dairy products cause a lot of lymphatic congestion. Poor circulation & fluid retention, & dairy products aggravate this. Avoid certain foods if you have any allergies The congestion in your lymphatic system caused by allergies can also make you feel fatigued, depressed & give you a foggy head. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2022/01/17/reduce-fluid-retention/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

100 times out of 100 I know what I am getting with him and that is both good and bad. When I don't listen, although he's forgiving, he doesn't bend on the rules. We can get into rules later but to explain a little bit of it.. the rules aren't for him to be happy about us following them, the rules are there to protect us. Just like our fur babies can't have chocolate or walk freely in busy streets, God has given us rules to keep us out of danger. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/03/09/unchanging-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Anything that has ever shaken me, even if it was something others considered small. If it affected the way I would do things or how I would show up then it was something worth reflecting on. I first have to get fed up enough to finally create the changes necessary. I would hit a point where I would have to ask why am I here again? OMG. I'm so tired of this! That was it! It was the line in sand that I would draw, saying "I don't go any lower than this." After drawing the line, reflection and brainstorming would come and then a plan to change thing around. Feelings would have to go and action would have to happen. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/03/03/1152/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Recovery Protein after a workout and/or before bed will help maximize your recovery time #notimeforsoremuscleshere #recoverydrink #proteindrink #longdistancerunners #becausehealth Protein Banana Shake Stick to the ones that have no more than 120 calories per serving. Almond milk. Banana. Nicole Wilkin's Protein Powder (Vanilla) Add ice blend. One of my favorite smoothies to make after a late night run. I always sleep so good! This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/03/01/power-of-protein/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I fast forward all the bad parts. I replay all the good ones. I rewind the beginning and ending over and over again. Maybe there was something I missed. Started as a Mystery. Added Fantasy. Thriller. Romance. Comedy. Action. All categories I liked until it turned into Drama and ended in Horror. I've always liked movies with happy endings and this didn't have one. I'll always look back and know that it was a great movie but not all great movies make it to the big screen. Our movie is getting old now. It could only be played on a dvd player and movies are streamed now. Streamed movies don't have to be kept or taken care of. Streamed movies require less effort. It's time to find a new favorite. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/25/my-favorite-movie-the-one-of-us/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

(By losing, I ended up gaining)May need to break-up with a few people. (I became an island)May need to go into seclusion, counseling but I want to produce from an intentional core. (God filled that void. Alone would never feel lonely again)I was lonley. (I asked. God gave)I was ambitious but with no wisdom. (Made knew. Never to be the same again)My default setting kept putting me back into my default setting. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/25/cant-make-the-old-me-make-decisions/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Hi Jesus, Today I had this feeling that I hadn't had in a while. It was a great amount of gratitude in my heart. For one for everything I have. I am so blessed. It makes me sad that sometimes, well mostly if I am honest, I am the reason I lose my joy. I don't always want to live this way Jesus. I want to carry out the heart of joy that you so freely gave to me. You gave too much to me for me to do or feel so little. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/25/1063/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Sometimes things get too heavy and putting them down is smart. If it gets too heavy, that's when it's time to lay whatever is overwhelming us down. Pray about it and then don't worry about it. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/24/1059/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

- He's Not that into YouIf he can't lay this one brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house baby, and it's cold outside. There's a difference between someone telling you they love you and them actually loving you. Tipping point = no more. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/23/im-worth-the-effort/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

All the beautiful things you created in life were made to capture our hearts when looking at them. I stand in awe of your work. Flowers have veins… no one can figure out the science of the butterfly… the oceans have boundaries because that is where you told them they need to stop.. the details of a snowflake. How much more did you put in us. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/20/gods-fingerprints/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

It is what scares us anyway. Giving our heart away isn't something we should take lightly. I let God fill my heart up until all his love and grace over pours and I am to be give kindness and love away to everyone I come across. Not all day, but everyday it's important to show up kind in the world. I save the special things for those close to me that I trust. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/18/from-actress-to-designer-l-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I'm raising my own standard. I'm not going to just allow unrestricted of anything that wants to come into my space. My new standard is God fearing people. In friendships and relationships. To get access to me now, you have to be right with God. Of course, I stay kind and true to everyone I come across but I don't let things come and go to taint my heart. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/18/from-actress-to-designer-l-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I spent years trying to pretend that the brokenness of my previous long-term relationship didn't hurt me anymore. It had been years and the people were quick to tell me to move on after just a few months of us breaking-up. So I learned to pretend. Pretend that it wasn't anything to me anymore. That I moved past it. That it was an old wound that healed but in reality, that break-up broke something inside of me. It's called acting. Always acting and pretending that I was better than I was. I left that in the dust. I was more interested in designing than acting anyway. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/18/from-actress-to-designer-1/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

If you're lucky enough to experience life with humble beginnings, you are rich. Honor. Humility. Humanity. Honor in being able to experience life in multiple ways. It's like being able to change lenses because you aren't limited to one. Angles. Different angles. Humility comes with humble beginnings. Stay humble and kind. Humanity. Rich for experiencing life this way. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/18/rich/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Giving me his love. Giving me his time. Giving me memories. Now I know me. I give myself love. I give myself time. I give myself nice memories from the different things I'm choosing. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/17/i-knew-him-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Thank you Jesus for showing me a great night out! If it wasn't for your grace and mercy, I wouldn't be here. If it wasn't for your love, I wouldn't want to. You truly are the perfect gentleman. I never have felt comfortable splurging on myself with food…by myself.. and just because. Being a woman of God, you have shown me a life that I normally would feel guilty living but because I belong to a kingdom and Kings eat like, well Kings. It was a great experience. You knew exactly what my body and heart needed. I was alone, only I wasn't alone, I was with my King and I was enjoying the night out. The place had pretty lights around. Aside from cute, it was a cozy cafe. Pretty lights and the heaters were on and the breeze wasn't too cold after a warm cup of coffee. Coffee that was brought out in a red mug.. my favorite!!! You never miss a detail. –

It was the wrong thing for you. Hitting a crossroad where you can no longer ignore the reality that you were hoping you wouldn't have to confront kinda sucks. Sometimes we no longer have the excuse of not knowing. When the truths that confirm what we knew all along are now in our face we have to make the decision we were hoping to avoid. We are complex by nature and we feel things but feelings don't mean truth, they are just a way we convince ourselves that what we are feeling is true. Losing what we hold onto just because the thought of having it makes us feel safer is only the cushion that we are hoping we can land on if we fall AND maybe it won't hurt as much. Too bad that what I was hoping would help break my fall was causing me to trip all along. Suspicion was going up. Peace was going down. It was a lot harder to keep them around then to lose them. So I made a decision. Being loyal to a lie was never going to leave me with peace. Truth in Hebrew = stability. If a relationship gives you stability and it leaves, you will be undone. The stability I will give you will never be taken way from you. – God. The truth might hurt us but the truth will also… set you free from living in uncertainty. set you free from having to wonder all the time. That pain fuels your passion and will bring you to your purpose. The truth is now letting you correct the mistakes you were making. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/06/dysfunction-isnt-love/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

“In quiet and stillness shall be your strength” That is where I had to go for a little while. I went into a quiet place alone with God. That is where I learned to be still. It seemed for a little while that it didn't matter how much I slept, I could never feel rested enough. Yet, I would go into this quiet place with him and I it wouldn't matter how much sleep I didn't get, I wouldn't feel weary. Tired, eventually yes and then I would sleep really well. During my quiet time, I would put on a YouTube video and listen to his word or journal. It wasn't so much about having anything to say, it was more about calling onto him and he would take care of the rest. I eventually wondered why was it that I was so tired before? What made me so tired that sleep couldn't fix it? It was my heart. My heart was sick and if your heart is sick it can affect the rest of your body. My heart wasn't sick on the outside but I feel after all it had been through, the fire kinda had been put out. No fire meant no passion. There was no drive. When you find yourself cocooned in isolation and you cannot find your way out of darkness… Remember this is similar to the place where caterpillars go to grow their wings. Treating a symptom isn't the same as getting to the root of the problem. That explained why trying to get more sleep never worked. Our hearts can get so heavy with all that we carry in it. Sometimes it gets really heavy because of a who. I think we give people too much power when we give them a piece of our heart. God comforted my heart. He also put it back together. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/05/back-together/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

My parents house was the nest that this bird came back to over and over. I use to joke with my family the first time I wanted to move out. My dad didn't think that was a good idea. I would answer, “But I'm a bird dad, you have to let me fly” The first time I came back, he was quick to say “broken wing?” The second time I thought that maybe I should stop trying to fly because coming back with a broken wing didn't make me feel good. I liked the idea of flying and I've never liked feeling like I was being held down, so flying equaled freedom to me. But no one ever tells you that flying feels a lot like falling. In flying there is power. It's a way of living life with everything placed under your feet and being so high up that snakes and traps can't reach you. They can't even touch you. How do you learn to fly? I can tell you from experience what you don't do. You don't just try to add wings and call it flying. Adding wings to caterpillars does not create butterflies. It creates awkward and dysfunctional caterpillars. Birds learn to fly through training. Butterflies are created through transformation. When birds are learning to fly they fall from the nest and make the long trip back to it (what I kept doing). They repeat the process until they get the strength and endurance to learn to use what they carry. Butterflies grow into them. Blood is shed. They feel like they're dying but what feels like the end is only their new beginning. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/05/focus-on-things-above-youll-grow-wings/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

What do you do when the reality of what you fought so hard to not let happen happens? Like I knew he wasn't good for me. I knew God had better for me. I chose to hold on just a little bit longer. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe it was just a feeling but not a sure thing?? Why on earth did settling for safe feel better than being alone? I was going to watch another lesson learned the hard way walk away from me. The pain only confirming the feeling I had, that I wasn't worth holding on to. I knew pretty was enough to get a man but it was never enough to keep one. The heart I had wasn't big enough either. The choices I made when it came to men showed what I thought of myself and I'll tell you right now that there were a lot of questionable ones. THAT WAS UNTIL… “You're gonna have to let people walk away from you. You're gonna have to wave goodbye when when they do it and not hang onto the memory of who you wanted someone to be but let go so I can do a new thing “ – God As he is walking away, I need you to see it for what it is. A Divine Exchange. Ok. God, I give this to you for a divine exchange and where there is fear, insecurity, anxiety touch it God and remove it, break this bad cycle of men that are no good for me and let these bad patterns break and bad habits of choosing what isn't good for me stop. INPUT This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/04/its-what-you-let-go-of-that-determines-how-you-fly-l-1/ --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I had to believe God when he said to make room. I started letting go of old things I wanted to hold onto but didn't need to anymore. I decided to believe that what was coming was better and this divine exchange would prove to God what my mouth was saying. It's like spring cleaning your emotions. What is it that YOU need to do right now to clean up the mess? What do you need to get rid of, so you can start seeing the things you want to keep, the things you like, the things that bring you joy, the things you can't see because all the things that are causing you stress and emotionally draining are on top of your now hidden treasures. So what do you want to keep and what don't you want anymore? That very thing stressing you out is going to be beautiful, when it is all said and done. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/04/get-things-together-put-things-in-order-l-4/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

1 year later, I wasn't sure if it was something I kept wanting to do. I felt tired. I had had enough. God was quick on this… But, look at who you are becoming? I didn't see it or feel at all. What God was really doing was teaching me to simplify. I quickly learned how elegance was attached to simplicity. Being mindful, having and choosing quality things felt so nice. I didn't realize how much I had changed. Making choices to let go of things that brought back memories was even harder. When I first decided to get rid of things to make room for new things, I didn't get rid of much. When I moved back home for the last time, I was forced to. Practice makes perfect right? I would need to do it a few more times before finding myself ruthlessly putting things into a blessing bin I created, where the stuff would soon be donated. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/04/get-things-together-put-things-in-order-l-3/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Dear God, You told us to stay sober minded for a reason. We are weak when we let alcohol change our state and when we are weak, we are vulnerable. Vulnerable to the attacks, the snares, the traps set upfor us by the enemy. But recognizing where we are weak, picking it up and laying it down at your feet. That is the moment where your strengthen meets my weakness. Understanding now the harm was what the enemy planned all along to try and bring me down. Because when he didn't couldn't get me, he tried to come after my brother. My baby brothers but Father your Grace and your love not only rescued me over and over but you rescued my brother. Your divine interference was all that was needed. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/03/bloodline/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

Father, when I was that lost and drunk girl. The day my family couldn't find me and I was found me non-coherent and vomiting. Weak and unable to care for myself. You sent someone. You rescued me. That day Father… it still does something to me to think that I was living a life that in my brokenness throwing away my life was easy for me to do. I now cherish it so much, for the reason alone that I am created by you. Nothing you have ever made to be something without purpose. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/03/pick-up-your-life-you-almost-threw-it-away-1/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

It's time to stop adding salt to the wound and even though going through the process of having to clean it out will temporarily make the pain worst, it will eventually heal and the pain will stop for good. What does it take? Focus on what is instead of what is not. It's a wound and not yet a scar. So treat it as such and know that it's a process. Wounds hurt in the present moment but once they become scars, they are only a memory of something that once hurt you. One day it won't be so fragile anymore and it won't hold any power over you. It was all in the healing process that I not only found what would become my saving grace but would also be the lamp to my feet. Always shedding light on where to go. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/02/20-stitches-in-a-hospital-room/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I was going to have to go without. It was the right choice to decide to go without it. It was not worth it to poison myself for such a short lived feel-good moment. I might have stayed hungry for a little while longer but I wasn't going to starve (although it felt like it). The amount of clarity you get after being full again is incredible. Those are always my “what was I thinking?” moments. Losing base with reality is a thing and it happens. When you're hungry any food in front of you looks good. When your mind is clear you can see what isn't good for you and do without. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/01/an-uncooked-chicken-can-kill-you-l-2/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I had to learn to focus on something other than how disappointed I was in him, in us, in the way things were turning out. I had this thought Maybe I was giving him too much credit? Maybe I wasn't giving myself enough? My gut would often tell me when things were off but after a while, your gut can betray you because you start to expect bad news. Things that are good can't be true. Better question Is love suppose to make you be at war with yourself? Most times I could drown out the noise coming from my insides but sometimes I couldn't ignore it. This was not it. He wasn't it. I just wanted him to be. I wasn't a bad cook. This was just a bad recipe and I had to know better. A good recipe leads to a good meal. This was not only bad but it was poisonous. I felt the shift of change approach. I was either going to go more insane trying to change enough ingredients to make a good meal out of this OR I was going to go hungry. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/02/01/uncooked-chicken-can-kill-you-l-1/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support

I remember always feeling like I wasn't good enough. Later I didn't feel energized enough to take control of the rollercoaster of emotions. Kept hearing it but never seeing it. You love them but they only know how to love themselves. A vicious cycle. This episode is also available as a blog post: http://bossbabeliving.home.blog/2021/01/31/if-i-get-distant-its-because-you-didnt-keep-me-close/ --- Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/elizabeth384/support