Porn Free Radio

We often say that porn is not the problem, it's the solution. And when we let go of porn we are left with one thing: our needs. But just how do we get our needs met? On this episode, I share a counterintuitive approach, you can use, to meet almost any need.   Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/353   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching    

Have you ever felt guilty that you have not lived up to your potential? That because of your past something you were destined for will never be achieved. On this episode, we reframe this mindset with a hopeful alternative where nothing has been lost and even more is to be gained. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/352   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching    

This episode is a fast follow-up to PFR 350- Pure Freedom, where we discuss Rich Litvin's "three distinctions around freedom." In this show, Matt asks some prompting questions to help you get more clarity about your freedom. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/351   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

In the episode, we are going to focus on the concept of pure freedom. Master coach, Rich Litvin describes pure freedom as "the freedom to make decisions moment by moment. The freedom to be yourself... a place to come FROM, not a place to get to." Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/350   Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/350   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

We're back on PFR asking the question, “when are you going to stop living like you're never going to die?”  Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/349   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

In this episode, we explore the idea of "high bottom" porn use—when your life isn't falling apart, but you're still stuck and it's costing you. We discuss how people in this situation can break through denial and rationalizations to take more action. There is more freedom to be had! Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/348   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com   Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

One of my podcast heroes, Dan Miller, had a goal setting practice which I love.  “When I set my goals for the new year, I ruthlessly eliminate 15% of the things I've been doing to make room for the new things I want to do.” — Dan Miller, 48 Days Podcast Dan shares how it's important eliminate things you're doing before creating new commitments. In this episode, you'll learn how this goal setting practice is easily adapted to recovery and our big goal of being porn free. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/347   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com   Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

In this episode, I'm joined by my brother Sam Dobschuetz, as we open the Porn Free Radio mailbag answering questions like… What percentage of guys that do coaching with you achieve a porn free life? Any recommendations on a porn blocker or firewall? What is it actually like when you are in recovery for 60, 90, 200 days, a year, 5 years? How does the struggle change? Can you ever go back to the way things were, in any area of life? And finally… what constitutes a relapse and what constitutes a slip? Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/346   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com   Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

We just picked a new president here in the States. Maybe you heard? This season, I noticed my news consumption went way up. As I look back now at my feelings and motivations, I found some interesting connections to my old porn struggle. On this episode, I consider my vulnerability with consuming content and media as a recovered man. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/345   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com   Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

When solving a crime, detectives use motive, means, and opportunity to catch the criminal. In recovery, after a troubling episode, we can use the same logic to solve our relapse. Our ultimate goal is to prevent future crimes.    Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/344 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

The Porn Free Radio Podcast Network presents the 2024 NFL Preview Show with Vern Tompke, Aaron W., Sammy D. (Sam Dobschuetz) and your host, Matt “The Dobber” Dobschuetz Join us for our fourth annual episode about our shared passion, NFL football. If you're not an American football fan, you might just be after you listen to this episode! Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/343 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

A favorite trick of value investor Charlie Munger was inverse thinking. It's where you reverse the problem you're trying to solve. In this episode, we invert the challenge of going porn free. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/342 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

On this episode, I invite Dr. Amy Johnson, author of Just a Thought, to help us start examining our thoughts in a new way. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/341 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

Most relapses are predictable. So why are so often surprised by them? On this episode, Matt shares an episode from his Coffee with the Dobber series for contributors to Porn Free Radio. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/340 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

Men use porn because they like the effect produced by it. The elusive sensation changes our state while we are using it. It provides a timely escape from our present reality. And even though we have taken steps to stop using porn we often are still are looking for the escape. I call this the bubble.  Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/339 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

On this episode, Matt shares a PFR listener story from Aaron C. who got hope from Porn Free Radio and took action by joining a 12-step fellowship. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/338 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

In the second of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as we complete this list of 12 provocations designed to challenge your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/337 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

My book, Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look At Porn, is known for its provocative statement, “Porn is not the problem for us. It's the solution.” In the first of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as I share 12 more provocations aimed at challenging your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/336 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

My book, Porn Free: Becoming the Type of Man Who Does Not Look At Porn, is known for its provocative statement, “Porn is not the problem for us. It's the solution.” In the first of two episodes, Coach Vern Tompke from Finding Traction joins me, as I share 12 more provocations aimed at challenging your recovery thinking. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/336 PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery: Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev 1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

Join Matt and Sam Dobschuetz as they read listener letters celebrating 10 years of Porn Free Radio. Take hope and take action! https://recoveredman.com/335

Do you see yourself as broken or an addict? Then this episode is for you. Over the last 10 years, I have had a shift in my thinking;  I have moved away from diagnosing and pathologizing porn behaviors (disease model.) And I moved towards a choice/ownership model. I invite the guys I work with to examine their choices, define problematic behaviors, developing their why for going porn free, and come up with creative solutions to solve their challenges. I treat guys from day one as whole people with the capacity and capability to form new habits and change their relationship with porn. This is part 9 in our series, The Choice is Yours. https://recoveredman.com/334

Before recovery, I lived a divided life. I hid anything I found unacceptable from my friends and family including my problematic porn use. On the surface, I presented a "nice guy" version of myself to be liked and accepted. It was exhausting and painfully lonely. In recovery, my why is "to be the same on the inside as on the outside." But this requires honesty. This is part 8 in our series, The Choice is Yours. http://recoveredman.com/333

We've all heard the phrase, “Fact vs. Fiction.” But a friend of mine said it should be “Fact vs. Fear.” It's fear that often leads us to our escapism and avoidance with porn. This is part 7 in our new series, The Choice is Yours.  https://recoveredman.com/332

Is stress based on our perception or is it objective? That was question we discussed in a recent REV group. The stressful situations guys described had one surprising thing in common. And it might change the way you look at stress.  On this episode, we break down stress and examine what helps us return to calm.  This is part 6 in our series, The Choice is Yours. http://recoveredman.com/331

“You're either working on recovery or you're working on relapse” ― Old guy at my recovery meeting  Coach Vern Tompke sits in on Porn Free Radio to talk about the line between recovery and relapse.  This is part 5 in our series, The Choice is Yours. http://recoveredman.com/330

MMA coach, Firas Zahabi, emphasizes that consistency in training beats intensity. Consistency is where we build skill and endurance without burning out. And our training volume over time leads to mastery. This powerful concept can be applied to our recovery. This is part 4 in our series, The Choice is Yours. https://recoveredman.com/329  

When you started recovery, the challenge was overwhelming (high) and your skill level was low. And chances are if you have not significantly changed your habits, the challenge feels about the same. For a long time the only tool in your tool box was willpower. Some version of "JUST SAY NO." But often willpower is easily exhausted. It gives out when we need it most. What if I told you success in recovery is not about increasing your willpower, it's about building skills. This is part 3 in our series, The Choice is Yours. https://recoveredman.com/328

“Porn is not the problem for us,” I write in my book. “It's the solution.” It may feel like the problem in your life that needs to be fixed. But if you're using porn there is a need that is driving it. It's a solution. This is part 2 in our series, The Choice is Yours. https://recoveredman.com/327

Author Steve Chandler often says there are two types of people in the world; owners and victims. Victims see themselves as victims of their situation or circumstance. Life happens to them. Owners on the hand while they can't control every situation and circumstance, they control their reaction to any situation. Learning the habits of thinking like an owner is essential to be porn free.  This is part 1 in our new series, The Choice is Yours. https://recoveredman.com/326

Matt Dobschuetz is back with a fresh episode of Porn Free Radio. Sam Dobschuetz joins in-studio to discuss Dobber recently reaching 13 years porn free. Take hope and take action!  https://recoveredman.com/325

“What we call personality,” Steve Chandler writes. “Is just a history of habits.” Fixed beliefs about who we are can block us from making the commitments that lead to transformation. On this episode, Sam Dobschuetz joins Matt to discuss. https://recoveredman.com/324

Do you struggle making time for self care? Do you suck at being creative? In this classic episode of Porn Free Radio, we break down 15 self care habits that take 5 minutes of less. https://recoveredman.com/323

I asked a group of coaching clients recently, "what is your weakest link in your recovery?" Answers ranged from objectifying women to old iPads, from social media to working at home alone. Even feelings like rejection and entitlement were part of the mix. On this episode, I'll explain what's behind these weak links and how to eliminate them https://recoveredman.com/322

Sam Dobschuetz joins Porn Free Radio for a super-sized episode. In this show, you'll learn Matt's 17 Porn Free Pro Tips. These powerful tips will help you level up your recovery. Many are brand new ideas. (#16 is a game changer IMHO.) https://recoveredman.com/321

Being sick brings many situations that can lead to slips. For example, feeling fatigued, out of routine, being alone, bored, entitlement, need to rest, entertainment/browsing, no exercise etc. In this episode, we talk about the tools we can use to get better without relapsing. https://recoveredman.com/320

In this classic PFR episode, I share the 12 commitments that led to mastery in my journey to quit porn.  Originally published January 24, 2018. https://recoveredman.com/319

New to PFR... its our PUNK episodes.  A four-part coaching series. Part 4 is reducing the effort and sacrifice required. It takes less work to succeed than to fail! https://recoveredman.com/318

The Porn Free Radio Podcast Network presents the 2023 NFL Preview Show with Vern Tompke, Aaron W., Matt “The Dobber” Dobschuetz and your host, Sammy D (Sam Dobschuetz.)  Join three coaches for our third annual episode about our shared passion, NFL Football. https://recoveredman.com/317

New to PFR... its our PUNK episodes.  A four-part coaching series. Part 3 is about decreasing the time it takes for you to see progress and get to your end goal. https://recoveredman.com/316

New to PFR... it's our PUNK episodes.  A four-part coaching series. Part 1 is about maximizing your porn free dream. Getting more clarity about where you're going. Part 2 is about increasing your perceived likelihood for success and building your confidence.  Part 3 is decreasing the time it takes for you to see progress and get to your end goal.  Part 4 is reducing the effort and sacrifice required. https://recoveredman.com/315

New to PFR... it's our PUNK episodes.  A four-part coaching series. Part 1 of 4 is about maximizing your porn free dream. Getting more clarity about where you're going.  https://recoveredman.com/314

Michael and Aaron visit PFR to celebrate 2 years porn free. Both listeners reached this milestone earlier this Summer. In this episode, the guys share about life before the streak, their current recovery habits, and dealing with temptation. They also consider the future impact as a result of this transformation.  https://recoveredman.con/313

In recovery we focus a lot on triggers. Avoiding them. Reducing them. Anticipating them. But our thoughts, especially the ones that feel automatic, often prompt our behaviors. This PFR classic episode, from Oct of 2019, is about becoming aware of our automatic thoughts and how to change them. https://recoveredman.com/312

In recovery circles we often use labels rather than descriptions. Words like sex addict or porn addiction are hastily applied or adopted. But often we miss getting a greater understanding of ourselves and the truth of our situation. Bill Herring, LCSW, CSAT joins Porn Free Radio to share his framework for assessing problematic sexuality. It can easily be used to assess problematic porn use. https://recoveredman.com/311

In this episode, you'll learn how to create a hyper-focused 7-day recovery plan. Originally published March 1, 2017. https://recoveredman.com/310

It's another EPIC PFR crossover podcast. This time with Vern Tompke from Finding Traction.  In this episode we talk about hope for two types of guys: A guy new to recovery and realizing porn is a significant issue. He's wondering if real change is possible. A guy who's been at recovery a while, but has only experienced mixed success. For him doubts are starting to creep in. Whether you relate to one guy or the other, I share with you 5 ways to get more hope in your recovery. https://recoveredman.com/309

In PFR episode 307, we looked at problematic porn use through Dr. Robert Vallerand's passion framework. Dr. Vallerand proposes two types of passion; obsessive passion and harmonious passion. When letting go obsessive passions it is necessary to cultivate harmonious ones. On this show we talk about how to find your harmonious passions. https://recoveredman.com/308

In PFR episode 307, we looked at problematic porn use through Dr. Robert Vallerand's passion framework. Dr. Vallerand proposes two types of passion; obsessive passion and harmonious passion. When letting go obsessive passions it is necessary to cultivate harmonious ones. On this show we talk about how to find your harmonious passions. Get the full show notes here: https://recoveredman.com/308   PLUS: Whenever you're ready... here are 4 ways I can help you in your recovery:   Porn Free This Year (Free video course) http://recoveredman.com/thisyear   Buy the book, Porn Free by Matt Dobschuetz http://pornfreebook.com   Join a REV Group http://recoveredman.com/rev   1-on-1 Coaching with Matt Dobschuetz https://recoveredman.com/coaching

Sam Dobschuetz, cohost of Coffee with the Dobber and the 2 Ramblers Podcast, joins PFR this week. On this episode, we discuss looking at problematic porn use through a passion framework. We compare the two types of passion proposed by Dr. Robert Vallerand (Université du Québec à Montréal) and some takeaways for transforming your passions. This was originally released as a Coffee with the Dobber, our exclusive podcast for contributors to PFR

In this classic episode of Porn Free Radio, I share how successful guys overcome edging. Edging is any unsound activity that mimics our old patterns with porn. It's one of main habits that blocks long-term recovery and success.  And chances are if you don't know what it is, you're probably doing it. https://recoveredman.com/306

Coach Jay Pyatt, from The Couple Cure, returns to Porn Free Radio for a discussion about lying. Matt has often said that lying was the "second addiction" he had to recover from. The habits around lying, hiding, keeping secrets, omission, and minimizing were just as strong as the porn was. Our long-term recovery depends on us building the skills of honesty. https://recoveredman.com/305