The Luke and Pete Show

This is a show primarily about urination. But don't let that put you off! We all do it! But do we all do it on consecrated ground, or off of diving boards? Hope not, hope not. Elsewhere on your LAPS ep du jour we talk cherry trees, Pete's dog going on a mad one with some leeks and the sharing of criminal records between nations. There's also the discovery of an adorable new television show involving toddlers doing everyday tasks. Join us!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's riding high after winning a 90s-themed pub quiz, but Luke isn't celebrating – he's staunchly anti-pub quiz, claiming it threatens the sanctity of the sacred bar area. In protest, he offers up a definitive list of the only pub entertainment he'll tolerate. Elsewhere, the lads dive into restaurant etiquette. Pete rails against waiters who rush him while Luke boldly declares that small plate restaurants should be made illegal.Plus, there's a meat glue follow-up from a concerned emailer, and an appearance from Doctor Donny himself, complete with some very questionable takes on urology.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Scandal rocks the studio as Pete catches Luke doing the unthinkable: eating a snack on air. Things spiral further when Luke takes a swing at pronouncing pain au raisin, leading to a passionate post-Brexit rant about why all baked goods should come with an English translation.Then, in a shocking turn of events, Pete reveals he's started wearing Y-fronts unironically… a fact Luke finds deeply unsettling. We also hear about Luke's teenage BMX-building era, question whether amateur cyclists really need all that Lycra, and debate whether tall people are just naturally more trustworthy.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke tells Pete about his most stressful Lime bike ride yet – unknowingly cycling home on one graffitied with “Pedo bike” on the side. Naturally, today's big questions are: should we all be allowed to name hire bikes? And should kids ride for free?Elsewhere, Pete nearly doxxes himself in postcode form, Luke gets nostalgic about beaded taxi seat covers, and the lads confront a painful truth…they've become halloumi boys – and Luke's had enough of being shamed by performative foodies about it.Plus, finally, 3 new batteries!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the chemical mystery of WD-40 – is it basically just liquid cocaine? Then they move on to debating the fastest way to destroy your phone if the police stop you with something dodgy on it…just a hypothetical!Elsewhere, Luke's nearly in hives over Pete's snack-based mic etiquette, Donny has no idea how Rob Brydon ended up in his contacts, and a listener falls asleep on the toilet during a Ramble Live show.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.Fill out our survey here to have a chance at winning a PS5!***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Turns out your favourite duo aren't the only Luke and Pete in the wider podcasting ecosystem. So now we have extensive beef with a seemingly questionable Pete and Luke we've just stumbled across.That aside, Luke discusses his new potential career as a sleep coach (“just get your head down”) and we finally crack the Steven Bartlett conundrum. Plus, peculiar places to watch the O.J. Simpson car chase, batteries aplenty and the grim, grey line between what's socially acceptable and illegal within the confines of your own car.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete and a laryngitis-ridden Luke settle in for a thoroughly analytical breakdown of the current state of the UK box office. Plus, we have to ask the difficult question: is Keanu Reaves actually terrible at acting?Elsewhere we get an update from the Bad Boy of Pétanque, hear of badgers terrorising Pete's local area and a listener's going to Glastonbury and hasn't heard of Neil Young - Luke ain't happy…Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're keeping it British today, as we get through our respective Nando's orders and rank the frankly outrageous eating habits from our student days. Oh and Pete nearly attempted a park run but got distracted.Plus, some incredible attempts at New Players and we start building our Mount Rushmore of conspiracy theories #doyourownresearch. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the lads kick things off with a classic Jeremy Kyle moment: a man boldly declares he loves cocaine more than his kids. This prompts a discussion on addiction where Luke accuses Pete of being addicted to papier-mâché (he doesn't deny it) and Pete issues a public warning about glue powders – specifically the deeply cursed meat glue.Elsewhere, a casual confession about a recent outdoor wee sends them into a surprisingly passionate debate about the regional politics of public urination. And yes, Pete's still convinced he could build Luke's house extension. Luke hasn't yet been persuaded.Just another completely normal Monday.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke's livid at the fact he's stuck with just one Father's Day while his wife gets to celebrate Mother's Day in both the UK and US. Meanwhile, Pete's only just realised you're supposed to buy your partner a Mother's Day gift… and it's her first one, too. Strong start!Elsewhere, Pete confidently declares Neil Young a B-grade artist, but Luke's not having any of it. Choosing to rise above Pete's attempt at antagonising him, he dives into the new Becoming Led Zeppelin doc, while Donny reminisces about working Glasto for the free ticket and reminds us of his golden rule: getting blasted drunk is the only way to enjoy it.Also on the docket: Chris Eubank Sr's flawless skin. Naturally.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off a Football Ramble tour, the lads recap a monster journey back from Glasgow, including a five-hour delay, a detour through Edinburgh, and a run-in with a wildly unpredictable couple who produced not one but two cats mid-journey. Pete and Vish witnessed it all, while Luke, blissfully unaware, sat back with noise-cancelling headphones and a Nazi documentary.Elsewhere, the lads get stuck into Glastonbury chat, Luke's actively praying for a washout, and then take a deep dive into what really makes someone a nepo baby. Does Matty Healy owe it all to his soap-star parents? And if Pete's daughter ends up in the spotlight, does having two radio DJ parents automatically seal her fate? The lads investigate.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off by unpacking the most scandalous moment of the 2025 Met Gala: Rosa Parks printed on a pair of knickers. Naturally, this leads Luke to ask the big question: are we just getting stupider as a society? Then comes the real shocker…Met Gala tickets cost $75,000. Luke's astounded, and takes it as the perfect excuse to launch into a full-blown rant about stamp duty and the state of everything.Plus, Pete pulls the ultimate contrarian move by refusing to watch Adolescence, instead pledging to watch every other show with the same name so he can still join in the chat. And a listener's email sparks a surprisingly grim realisation: are astro turf pitches just giant Petri dishes?...Absolutely.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke poses a crucial hypothetical: if music awards only went to artists who've never taken a stimulant… who'd actually be left? The lads then dive into the legacy of “straight-head” rockstars and debate whether Winston Marshall's post-banjo pivot into far-right politics really counts as a glow-up. Spoiler: it doesn't.Elsewhere, Pete's parenting takes a turn after he accidentally locks his baby in the car and has to coach her through unlocking it from the inside. And finally, a listener's clash with a Tesco jobsworth triggers painful Nectar card flashbacks for Luke.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads hop aboard the Steven Bartlett hate train, again, and Pete accuses Luke of being just a little jealous. Elsewhere, Luke shares the tale of a house party gone horribly wrong, involving 30 mates, a wax strip, and one extremely unfortunate soul.Then it's on to an email special, where Pete proudly declares he'd still jump into a pool even if someone had just done a shit in it…as long as it had been sieved out. His argument? “The water's touching your arsehole anyway.” Luke isn't convinced.Plus, the lads get curious about our new resident LAPS HGV driver…Amphetamines? Sex workers? What is the image of the long-distance trucker in 2025?Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke's on a mission to become the most pasty man in Britain, while Pete's seriously considering a Juicy Couture tracksuit… naturally. Then, the lads weigh in on the Eubank Jr vs Benn fight, the legacy of their famously fiery dads, and Luke recalls being genuinely terrified of Nigel Benn as a ten-year-old.Also on the docket: is it ever okay to let a builder use your toilet? Pete probably wouldn't mind, he's got four, and Luke is absolutely astounded!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After foxes ransack Pete's nappy bins, Luke suggests a very DIY deterrent: peeing in an Evian bottle to mark his territory… not that he's speaking from experience. And if he was, he certainly wouldn't have been caught mid-stream by his wife. Definitely not.Meanwhile, Pete's overhydration saga hits rock bottom with a full-bladder emergency on the M25, resulting in an SOS wee right outside of a British Airways training centre. Dignity? Absolutely none.Plus, Luke solves a listener's cat poo problem.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fresh off the plane back from Vegas, Pete takes aim at the culinary crime scene that is Panda Express and regales us with tales of invisible man matches, and his new survival tool of choice: melatonin. Elsewhere, Luke delivers the brutal news about Chick-fil-A's problematic past and the lads wonder why anyone cares what other people spend their money on.Plus, Pete narrowly avoids a risky duck blood meal before his 11-hour flight home and Luke's genuinely impressed with his growth! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off with an identity crisis – he's convinced he's 34, and Luke has the unenviable task of breaking the news that he's... absolutely not. Talk then turns to Pete's upcoming WrestleMe Vegas trip and the truly chaotic prospect of a 120-man Royal Rumble. That's a lot of sweaty bodies!Elsewhere, after a brief detour into 'The Slug', the lads debate where the line is drawn between harmless kink and full-blown creep behaviour. Plus, why do homophobes always say things are being jammed down their throats? Is it just a coincidence… or the Freudian slip of the century?Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke reflects on the pain of a joke that doesn't land with Gen Z — but insists it's them, not him. He also shares the story of his Seven Sisters hike gone wrong, which left him injured and his wife unimpressed. Elsewhere, Pete reckons he might have worms after a week of dodgy meals — there's always a gastrological problem with him isn't there!The lads also dive into golf's strangest traditions… like the Masters champion choosing the dinner for the following year. So, what would you have? Plus, an obituary writer sends in a lovely snap of his writer's shed.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete dive into the UK's sugar tax and discover why Mexican Coke is far superior. Luke confesses he can't stomach the punch of full-fat drinks anymore, unlike Pete, who's mesmerised by the sheer amount of sugar he could consume — enough to make his liver beautifully sweet!Elsewhere, they reflect on how acting has improved since the 80s, with Pete arguing that we're expecting way too much from actors these days. Plus, he's got some choice words for the kid from Adolescence, who, it turns out, actually did go to drama school…And, how upset should you really be if your popcorn shrimp still has the poo sack inside?Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, after Pete introduces us to the world of expat DJ channels, Luke is left wondering why some expats seem to loathe British culture — especially the ones who spend their days googling Sadiq Khan and eat only English food once they've moved to Spain. Luke wants absolutely nothing to do with it, so Pete offers up an alternative: life in a swamp, anyone?Plus, someone's eating sunflower seeds with the shells still on…pure lunacy, and Pilot Dave is back in the LAPS cockpit!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete tackle life's big questions: how much money would it take to make them disappear forever? A hundred quid would sort one of them, apparently. And whose teeth would look better in whose mouth?Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about the time he got hench for a bit, before he pitches the idea of having entrance music in the office like a WWE star. We also wonder if Elon Musk has daddy issues and Pete has a few words for scarily ambitious voiceover thief Charlie…not from Carlisle.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Monday - it's time for some more carefully curated nonsense. Luke recounts a bizarre standoff he had in Pret involving a truly odd policy #JusticeforMoore. We also get into the latest internet controversy swirling around our beloved Pete and blast through plenty of emails - including a listener who writes to us a few minutes before his vasectomy, an update on Norwich's cultural impact and some breaking news concerning Stubbington Study Centre. Join us! Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's latest predicament: finding appropriate places to urinate. Mainly because he's drinking upwards of nine litres of water a day.We work out how best to tackle that and dissect the most terrifying brunch experience imaginable. Plus, batteries aplenty and fixing kids' computers in the local neighbourhood. Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete stumble upon a truly baffling real estate listing — a London flat with a full-size swimming pool directly above a Chinese takeaway. What could possibly go wrong? The lads weigh up the pros and cons of living beneath an indoor ocean and debate whether they'd take the plunge.Elsewhere, Luke is horrified to learn that Donny refuses to moisturise, while Pete shares his survival guide for dealing with a toddler who has zero respect for bathroom privacy.Plus, the lads dissect Netflix's new hit show Adolescence.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's gearing up for a deeply inconvenient 5 a.m. Jet2 flight, and Luke isn't holding back on how much of a terrible idea that is. This sends the lads down memory lane as they relive their school trip adventures — leading to Luke's tale of a hellish coach trip to Switzerland.Elsewhere, they weigh in on Tesla's latest embarrassment, Musk's ongoing public meltdown, and why some people just don't seem to grasp the consequences of their own actions.Plus, Pete fully succumbs to AI madness as he uses deepfake technology to prank his mates in the worst possible way.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, we take a deep dive into Switch Bitch — Roald Dahl's surprisingly adult collection of short stories — while Pete grapples with his confusion, and slight heartbreak, over why Quentin Blake didn't stay loyal to Roald.Elsewhere, Pete explores the bizarre world of pay-to-shoplift experiences in Japan, sparking a debate on whether fake theft really scratches the same itch. Plus, the lads weigh in on the Angel Boys' return to social media.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Pete's got a confession: years ago, he went to New York for a wedding but ended up battling a truly catastrophic case of constipation. Cue a desperate Walgreens enema purchase, a brutal two-and-a-half-week ordeal, and a story that Luke will not let him forget.Elsewhere, the lads dive into the misery of kitchen appliance repairs, with Luke recounting an awkward run-in with a deeply grumpy Zanussi repairman. Plus, a discussion on the baffling modern career of Neil Young somehow leads to Pete breaking into song—should he ditch podcasting for life as a Neil Young impersonator? Let us know!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke wonders if he's missing out on a lucrative career as a right-wing grifter, while Pete shares his latest YouTube algorithm nightmare — somehow featuring Bill Oddie discussing Jimmy Savile... Elsewhere, Pete reminisces about his childhood pet gerbils and the highly questionable method his dad used to control their ever-growing population.Plus, the lads revisit Pete's infamous infant chip bowl helmet invention and debate whether chasing pigeons is a fundamental part of childhood.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the guys tackle the moral dilemma of a man who saved 2.4 million babies with his blood donations — should he have charged for his life-saving plasma? Speaking of blood, Luke discusses the results of his recent at-home blood test, which, much to his delight, reveals an above-average testosterone level.Plus, the lads dive into the logistics of In the Night Garden Live after Pete boasts about his recent ticket purchase.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, Luke and Pete are all moustached up, comparing their freshly grown 'tashes to thatched roofs, and somehow spiral into the baffling logistics of maintaining a straw-covered house in 2025. Pete's convinced today's thatchers are just winging it...Then, the lads take a moment of silence for Skype before Luke gets absolutely ecstatic about the unexpected return of The Beta Band. Who knew he'd be this pumped about experimental psychedelic electronic progressive folk? Well, we did… obviously!Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's growing paranoia about the state of the world has him wondering if it's time to start prepping with a lifetime supply of beans. Meanwhile, Luke's more concerned about his mental decline — is he losing it, or is it just the menopause?Elsewhere, the lads take a deep dive into the baffling world of cosmetic procedures, from Turkey teeth to Botox, and debate whether they should get involved. Plus, an emailer writes in with an allegory about deep-fried chocolate bars, and Luke is horrified to learn about the state of Pete's fridge.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads are back, kicking things off with the internet fallout they got from the horrific childhood story Pete told last week — turns out, Luke got all the messages while Pete somehow dodged the interrogation. Meanwhile, an entirely different horror emerges: the concept of a piss drawer. Could Pete introduce one into his household? Luke has… concerns.Elsewhere, Pete reports back from a trip to Kosovo, navigating local delicacies and questionable Airbnb etiquette. Meanwhile, Luke ponders whether decorators secretly judge your wallpaper choices before the lads attempt to decode the bizarre world of fat jabs.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke encounters a mystery vandal targeting Lime bikes with an unusual weapon—vomit. Was it a protest? A bizarre art installation? Or just someone having a really bad night? The investigation begins.Elsewhere, the lads revisit the ridiculousness of pubs shutting down over noise complaints, Pete gets roasted for his chaotic outfit choices, and they discuss the bizarre social media presence of Gordon Kindness—a man whose life appears to revolve around Greggs, diarrhoea updates, and questionable food choices.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick things off with the great Nepo Baby debate—where does nepotism actually end, and is being the niece of Gruffalo author Julia Donaldson enough to count? This, naturally, leads to an important clarification: Pete is not related to Mr. Beast or any other famous Donaldsons.But today's real highlight? A listener email about a truly unexpected photo mix-up involving a leaky balcony repair request… and a very intimate surprise.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete kicks things off with a deeply unsettling childhood memory—let's just say it involves his dad, a used condom, and an innocent misunderstanding that still haunts him to this day. Luke, naturally, has many questions…Elsewhere, the lads tackle the great working-class dad salt obsession, and Pete recounts his trip to Hartlepool, where he received rockstar treatment at a retirement home just for bringing his baby. Then, before they go, they circle back to the infamous Bitcoin tip saga—because, apparently, the guy who lost millions in a landfill still isn't ready to let it go.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads dive into the absurdity of modern reality TV, breaking down the viral Temptation Island moment where one man, Montoya, processes betrayal through a mix of heartbreak and deeply unnecessary cardio. Luke and Pete marvel at the sheer spectacle but can't help but wonder—what have we done to ourselves as a society?Beyond that, they find time to dissect the Super Bowl halftime show, and a listener offers to send Pete a DIY fuzz pedal kit—which he's already scheming to use for harmonised loops of the word “piss.” What could possibly go wrong?Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick off with their favourite internet cesspit—Nextdoor—where NIMBYs reign supreme, complaining about everything from faint giggles to morally questionable pub patrons. This sets Luke off on a raging rant about a recent article exposing how noise complaints are slowly strangling London's nightlife.And just when you think they've had enough internet for one day, they dive headfirst into the wild world of online conspiracy theorists and have no choice but to marvel at their sheer lunacy—because apparently, the madness knows no bounds.Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Luke reimagines Glastonbury, wondering why they've never done a live show there—until the conversation spirals into a full-blown business plan for a festival burger van. Speaking of food, Pete shares the tale of a very moist ostrich fillet he unearthed from the depths of his fridge, before revealing his wild lunch—trust us, you'll never guess what he ate!Plus, of course, the lads can't resist taking a swing at yet more Trump absurdity...Email us at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads kick things off with a deep dive into the world of shameless grifters, debating why right-wing outrage merchants always seem to dominate online algorithms. Is Andrew Tate just projecting? And why is Ben Shapiro so obsessed with Barbie?Plus, Pete recounts his bizarre late-night encounter in a Soho public toilet… because, let's be honest, it's always Pete that finds himself in these situations, isn't it?Tell us your wildest public toilet stories by emailing at hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Should the lads start wearing makeup? Luke thinks he always looks sickly on camera, while Pete suggests a few injections might do the trick. If that fails, he's considering tattooing his hairline instead.Elsewhere, Pete lays out his very specific travel MO: dawdling, dinner, and—most importantly—an ungodly hotel bathroom session upon arrival. Then, Luke adits he's surprised Pete's never late, but when he is, it's because he's had a full-blown menty-b. Speaking of which, Luke nearly had one himself after losing his 20-year-old wallet for the first time in his life.And if that wasn't enough, Pete geeks out over transacoustic guitars, and the lads debate whether Luke could pull off a moustache...Spoiler: he's not convinced.Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The lads dive into Trump's latest inauguration, debating whether keeping it indoors was a strategic move to dodge an embarrassingly small crowd, while applauding Michelle Obama for swerving the whole thing entirely and setting a new standard in #NotMyProblem energy. Then, they lay out their own presidential plans—starting with an executive order to ban raspberry yoghurts nationwide.Elsewhere, Pete's voice machine impression of Luke's child leaves Luke thoroughly creeped out, there's another mad documentary recommendation, and after a woodworm fiasco, Pete's officially done with the whole “owning a house” thing.Plus, a cautionary tale about why you should never wear a beret in Glasgow...Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Pete's buzzing about his latest gadget obsession, which Luke says is just filling “a hole in his soul.” Meanwhile, Luke takes a nostalgic dive into 'Big Break', the 90s snooker-based TV gem featuring awkward catchphrases, deadpan co-hosts, and a young Ronnie O'Sullivan's debut. Then, the chat veers into a debate on archiving lost media and Pete's dad's illegal but oddly impressive DVD stash.Plus, Luke also recommends a gripping BBC documentary on the 7/7 bombings, sparking a conversation on resilience, forgotten history, and the remarkable stories of triumph that emerge in the face of tragedy.Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever written a diss track about someone? What about someone who's in the same band as you and is then forced to play that song every night for years on end? It's happened to Fleetwood Mac, and it could soon happen to us…We spend half of today's show getting distracted by the 1989 BRIT Awards, wonder what films scare children and get through a few (awful) battery submissions. Not as many as we'd like, because Pete needed a wee throughout. Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With a particular story dominating Pete's consciousness this week, there's only one place we could start: penis enlargement surgery. Happy Monday!Elsewhere, Pete's sporting a new haircut courtesy of a random shopkeeper, we put the music world to rights and a listener has documented the *exact* moment they realised they weren't young anymore. Anyone else heard of Bloc Party?Email: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com or you can get in touch on X, Threads or Instagram if character-restricted messaging takes your fancy.***Please take the time to rate and review us on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your pods. It means a great deal to the show and will make it easier for other potential listeners to find us. Thanks!*** Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Today, the lads dive into the perplexing world of rattan furniture: What is it made of? Why is it so expensive? And why was Luke's cat, Jasper, so obsessed with it? Pete then shares a story about his dad randomly bringing home a snooker table and a bag of balls, sparking a debate about the most inconvenient gifts (spoiler: Luke once sent someone a box of crickets).Elsewhere, Pete declares that the true meaning of life is enjoying the art of antagonising friends and colleagues. Plus, he opens up about his ultra-cautious approach to proposing—it's a yes-or-nothing policy for this self-proclaimed worrisome little chap.What's the most annoying gift you've ever received? Tell us at Hello@LukeandPeteShow.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.