The Mortal Path

What? An episode the day it's meant to drop? Vilten must be in retrograde and Gudal in its ninth house of the evening! Join our fearsome three as the mind, soul, but not body melded duo of Nat and Taro take things to a truly existential level and decide to kick it, while Nerium finally gets out of bed and starts doing stuff again. But punts in the dark have strange consequences... See also: What the fuck happened to your voice, don't take it all in, a pyramid scheme of voring, thrrrrobbing, it's all Jackal, and I didn't know Firbolgs could explode like that. CW/TW: audio distortion, mashing up of names briefly results in one accidentally sounding close to 'pedophile', dick jokes, semi-reanimation / animated dead references, gore references, corpse and death references, mentions of the impact of death and the aftermath.]

An episode is never late, dear listener, nor is it early. It arrives precisely when it means to, which just happens to be tonight! If you remember what the hell's been going on, give yourself a pat on the back and a middling sized reward of your choice. In this episode, Nerium continues to sleep and weep in the face of her horrors, and Nat and Taro set about changing the very course of time, fate, and history... See also: Stream of consciousness, Google Allergies, sand, if you come home with a pet Jackal..., High Density Unrefined Magic, and you fucked up a perfectly good Jackal!   [TW/CW: Body sharing, animalistic cannibalism concept, discussion of genetic modification]

Here we are! We're back after a little break and ready to cause some serious trouble in the world of Alfallen! With a terrifying, invisible, interdimensional creature now tearing up the ghostly realm of the Sanitorium, it's up to Taro and Nat (Nerium's taking a gosh dang NAP) to sort out this mess. But the Jackal is a slippery eel thing indeed and tries every trick to escape our hapless heroes. But when it goes beyond the veil, it's going to take some innovative thinking to track it further... See also: A lot of people have watched Narrrruto, that's fucked up man, I've not dropped that in several years, no not by the horns!, the jetpack, people always wanna talk about the horns, and I'm not sure I trust him. TW/CW: Graphic murder, gore, body horror, eldritch / cosmic horror, eye talk, body sharing / possession.

Yubi might be good at spinning a yarn, but they're not so good at time keeping! Never fear, our episode is here, and it's a wild one! Taro and Natalia battle with the results of Nerium's spell gone wrong, and Nerium does the only sensible thing: go to bed. But with a jackal running wild in the Sanitorium, can Nat and Taro keep the peace in Hopewell...? See also: Fuckths'd, do a magic!, it's primal, DRAIN ME!, respect the hat pin, I rub the mud over my face, you introduced invasive species, and that was actually quite helpful. [CW / TW: Violence, mild peril, monsters, bodily functions, depressive episode / anxiety spiral, invasive species / pest talk, mould / fungus spores talk, possession, injury.]   There's also no middle bit this week, so a huge thank you to Rachel Graff for our theme song and some other show music! You can check out her website at www.rachelgraff.com 

We're back! We're here! We (Yubi) got SUPER BUSY and did not upload this episode in a timely manner, but here we are! Once more we delve into the trials and tribulations of Natalia, Taro, and Nerium as they cut away at the mysteries surrounding the violet drop, Rupert, and what the heck is going on around here. Nerium isn't feeling herself, Taro's conversing with knives, and Natalia's discovered the world is maybe dying...   See also: That's me now, I hate that I know what you referenced, Dogbum, is your dagger bigger or..., Lich please, and you're not gonna believe this, this is not a bit. [TW/CW: Mentions of supernatural monsters, forced transformation, drug use innuendo, mild peril.]

Here we go again! Taro and Nerium leave the prison with a spring in their step, only to find Rupert may have done a little more damage than previously anticipated. Attempts to talk only bring up more questions than they answer, and Nat searches for answers of her own out by the caves. But a series of unfortunate rolls and a slightly more awakened knife lead to a bit of a pickle at the end of the day... See also: What does THAT mean Rupert?, Gary shut the HELL up, a lateral jiggle, kanye pepper, Mr Mungus, Frackin' Nat, and Rupert's a bit jumpy. [TW/CW: Illness and injury, death, ethics of animal consumption.] 

We're here once more, offering you nowt but an 'umble episode to delight your senses with. Our intrepid trio are starting to finish up their current business in Hopewell and look to new horizons in order to finish old business. With the guards hot on the heels of the mysterious, potentially dangerous magic user, things are getting a little spicy in the lower lanes. Nat decides some practice might be in order, and Nerium and Taro visit Pelleth to discuss how to solve her problem... See also: They can't sue me, I'll be held, you've been round the cat, wish I were pregnant, that got my uncle, it's not jumping, and the good kush. [TW/CW: Police raids, pee talk, talk of past murders, jail visits, arson, mention of illness and supernatural creatures.]

Hello! We're back with a brand new episode of merriment, magic, and mishaps! Nerium finishes her plan to dispose of the necklace with unusual panache, but when her powers surge she ends up in a slightly different state to how she started. Nat and Taro accompany her to the house of Dalynda to learn more about her missing sister, and some more magics sets off a perilous situation... See also: Corolorolory, size of the utensils, oh words!, number juicy, a graveyard smash, maybe you're right about magic, and Elden John. [TW/CW: medication mention, bodily emissions and poor hygiene mention, mild peril, mention of people turning into small dead animals.]

This week we're back with another episode of our Quest playthrough, where our wonderful Gary GMs us through Tenbren. Groundswell, Agnes, and Iago head to the eternal labrys for more info re: scary swords, and Agnes makes a new friend... See also: I've never squirmed in my life, ooOOoooOo, ass of Jesus, does it indeeeeed?, from there it's just learning all the words, and you little shit! [CW / TW: Ghosts, dead body mention.]

New year, old us! The Good Choices gang is back again to complete tasks in a timely and sensible manner with absolutely no fucksy-wupsies at all! Not a one! Nat bargains her way from between a rock and a hard place and sees a glimpse of an old enemy while Taro reframes his success regarding the Tundraskan relic he's definitely correctly stolen. Kitty wasn't recording for a chunk of the episode, but she joins us with a cunning, well thought-out, sensible plan to deal with their problems... See also: Actually where exactly--, a bitless door, just like Ocean's 12, bone whistlers, I'll just press record now, a big herring paella, and Naruto Baggins. [CW / TW: Trapped in some rock, claustrophobia, people disintegrating into dead animals, catacombs, and organised religion.]

Well, 2020 sure happened, didn't it? And it just kept on happening. And will keep on happening into a bit of 2021. I can't believe orbital cycles don't adhere to narrative arcs! But never fear, for we are here to kick out the old year and cheer in the new with a hearty bundle of bloopers, gags, jokes, weird noises, and scraps on the proverbial cutting room floor. Enjoy, and thank you all for another year by our sides! We are so, so grateful for your support and love. Bring on 2021!

Can you believe it, we're here and on time? Incredible. Such raw power. Join us as our favourite three continue to wreak gentle havoc across Hopewell, delving deeper into their magics with... mixed results. Taro definitely remembers all of the parameters of the necklace job, Nat definitely knows how to get herself out of the pickle she's in, and Nerium definitely knows how to save Pelleth without giving away too much about herself... See also:  What's happening?, do you have the medal, some crepes, Mikasa, there was a decoy?!, and external stimulus. [TW / CW: Getting trapped in rock, claustrophobia of the Junji Ito 'That's my hole' variety, mention of truth spells.]  [We also have no middle bit this episode! As always a huge thank you to Rachel Graff for our theme song and other musics, to Orion and his transcribers for their amazing work, and to DNDice and The Secret Cat Shop for their support! Don't forget to grab their codes from one of our eps with middle bits for some amazing discounts!]

It's the most blessed day of the fortnight, new episode day! And what a nice day it is for a nice episode with absolutely no expectations, in which we are all perfectly behaved and nary a raunchy quip passes our lips. Like usual. Join our terrible three as they split up across the city of Hopewell to finish up some favours and call in some of their own. Nat heads back to Hafez to strike a few deals, Nerium delves back into the upper circle to the House of Morgaine, and Taro has a date with the opera...   See also: Remembering things, Clean Mind, plumage, the Ralphus Morgaine route, moon's wet, Gary you lowered the tone, and take me to the opera.   [CW / TW: Sexual innuendo, ponzi schemes / MLM mention, cursed magic items.]

We're a week late due to Yubi having some pretty tough deadlines, but we're here now and we present you an episode stuffed full of mishaps, mayhem, and many, many laughs. After a successful mind-knife surgery, Nerium and Taro decide to catch a snooze, but Nat has other ideas. Despite best efforts things start to go wrong when lies are told, secrets and spilled, and certain persons are caught in compromising situations... See also: We're not the same person, Wooz, why did I say that?!, everything is going wrong, the thing is..., heh heh, and go feed the ducks. (Content / Trigger warnings: Being caught, mild threats, innuendo.)

We're here! We're a week late! Yubi got ill (again)! But they're back, they're better, they're weirder than ever as we dive into this week's episode. Our dearest darling Findex has gotten himself into a sticky situation, and a bit of sleuthing reveals what they left in the Fallen City might not have been left completely behind. Taro, Nat, and Nerium must work together to help out their friend, and definitely not accidentally harm him with their actions... See also: The last remaining media, the prooze, a hot night, you can't say 'semen demon' on this podcast, the wizard from the coast, with your miND?, and why do we keep doing surgery. [CW / TW: Body horror with magic, magic as a mutating and invisible thing, innuendo, magical surgery]

We're here, we're back, and we're ready to cross new dimensions and ask all sorts of spooky questions! With the rescue mission complete, Taro, Nat, and Nerium are left to pick up the pieces of their evening. With a captive to interrogate, a god to question, and a hungry knife which seems to be needed, our three resident weirdos are left to create some new sense of normality. But they're not the only ones having magical mishaps... See also: Good news and bad news, Taro can't pull out, what are you rolling?, imagine something you can't imagine, Jesus, and it's stuck. [TW / CW: house fire, surgery and amputation talk, interrogation, body horror mention, corpses turning into rats.] [The Kandinsky Plane.] [Check out our two amazing affiliates (and listen to our middle bit for the special discount codes): https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/, https://dndice.co.uk/, and check out our fantastic Rachel Graff and pick up some Mortal Path music! https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ ]

We're back in Tenbren with Agnes, Groundswell, and Iago as we momentarily forget the troubles and woes of this town in order to play a carnival game! It's definitely a carnival game! It's not some sort of recruitment drive! Oops! See also: What if a Tiefling... but better, massive bajongos, one Gary tall, how is the shaft, fuck off, and elf.ao3.org.  [TW / CW: Dick talk. So much penis and dick talk.]

We're back after our dive into Qillion with more wild shenanigans from our terrible trio. Our rescue mission is ongoing, and danger lurks on every layer of existence. Friends become foes, foes become friends, and Nat, Nerium, and Taro test out some new skills and powers in the dark woods around Hopewell... See also: flying lady with a flaming sword from behind, I can't believe I'm bait, I think I have a type, a graveyard smash, and you gooped me. [CW / TW: Show typical violence, death by fire, wills, burning buildings.] This episode doesn't have a middle bit. A huge thank you to Rachel Graff for her fantastic music (https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/), to Orion and the Transcribers for their amazing work (https://themortalpath.com/transcripts/), and to all of you for listening!

Here we have it, friends! The second and final part of our What Is Here? game! Come and join us as we dive back into the lives of the sea-elves on Qillion, and whatever strange forces are at work. Trees turn weird, something comes across a bridge, and we make connections like never before... See also: I got it weeb, a literal seal?!, I remember the witches... hrk!, or even Yubi, oh I'm sorry everyone, a clamity, and the silence of the clams. [CW / TW: Sudden disappearances, body / tree horror.]

This week we bring you a very special first episode of a two-part special where we play Yubi's game 'What Is Here?' and definitely don't make it really weird like we usually do. Definitely not. Join us as we shift through time and space to Qillion, original home of the Fallen City and Tan Karill, and dive back into the choppy waters of our elven friends on their watery world, asking the age old question: what is here...? See also: Who said that!?, who has the most blood?, Birmingham, I'm all about clams, Kitty I need you to try, that's very sad, and witches. [CW: Sexual innuendo, minor injury in deep water, minor injury to a child, alluded death of a child, natural disasters (tsunami), amputation, alluded witch burnings.]

Things just keep happening as our fateful three plunge deeper into the night and also plunge blades into those who really did think they had their shit together until Nat, Taro, and Nerium showed up to wreck their whole lives - and deaths. With Nerium at the mercy of the mercenaries (or the mercenaries at her mercy, perhaps...), Taro stuck in spirit-vision, and Nat kicking ass and taking no names, our "heroes" continue to dig into this mysterious group while trying to rescue their friend... See also: Since when?!, puppy, is this a soul?, Taro's good out there, nyaa, you're probably dead, say hewwo to my little friend, and oh I get it! [TW / CW: Threats, character restrained, stabbing, show typical violence and gore, death from a fall, ghosts]

We return once more to Tenbren, eager to unravel the mysteries of the blade causing havoc and distress to the poor people of the Jackal-infested city. Secrets are shared, plans are made, kwepes are had, and Iago, Groundswell, and Agnes have questions aplenty... See also: Gripping shafts, boning, I'm not allowed cellulitis, that's the agony noise, a defensive slumber, and Wood Turner. [CW / TW: Sexual innuendo, fantasy illness, leeches and maggots in medicine talk, illness and infection, amputation.]

Back into danger and action we plunge, dear friends! Our terrible trio continue their night of crimes as a bad situation escalates from aaaa to AAAAAAA. We put our new system to the test as shit kicks off, and when one of the party members is suddenly grabbed and magically yeeted into the hands of Avriel's companions, Nat, Taro, and Nerium are in a desperate race against time and up against some deadly, and pissed off, foes...   See also: Came in chuffed, shove me off, your swole is actively terrible!, I keep rolling things I'm bad at, are you for real?, and Nerium's awful goop. [TW & CW: Show-typical violence and gore [including: dead body, interrogation, mild choking, decapitation, eye injury, stabbings], kidnapping.] [If you'd like to add content warnings you'd like us to include should they come up, you can anonymously submit them here: https://www.surveymonkey.co.uk/r/DP7H96F]

Join our merry band of morally dubious 'heroes' as we once more strike at the heart of Hopewell, making more enemies than friends and getting ourselves into a right pickle. We've thrown 5e aside and taken up arms with our own system, and Nat, Nerium, and Taro push it to the limit as they ask difficult questions in secretive places... See also: The crime corner, Yubi starts a clock, bad BDSM, wooden bricks, his personal situation, roll me a nat 20, and like a piñata. [CW: Show-typical violence, sexual themes [bondage], and gore.] [Check out our two amazing affiliates (and listen to our middle bit for the special discount codes): https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/, https://dndice.co.uk/, and check out our fantastic Rachel Graff and pick up some Mortal Path music! https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ ]

Once more we leap onto the streets of Hopewell, our merry trio here to cause trouble and smooth ruffled feathers. Join us as Nerium faces off against an old frenemy - twice? - and Taro gets down to some soul weaving business in the back alleys. Nat heads to her favourite haunts for more information on the mysterious Flame card held in evidence storage, and someone they've been looking for makes an opportunistic appearance...   See also: Getting Pelleth off, one does not simply..., ed's turn, wow this is awful, just like wetting yourself, and it's not arson.   [CW: dead animal]   [Check out our two amazing affiliates (and listen to our middle bit for the special discount codes): https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/, https://dndice.co.uk/, and check out our fantastic Rachel Graff and pick up some Mortal Path music! https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ ]

Join us once more as we delve back into Tenbren and the troubles terrifying the city. Beneath the sands in the endless tunnels of the Running, our odd trio face Scattanatto and his cohorts, but a mix of magic and swordplay stop the situation from getting too out of hand. Agnes, Iago, and Groundswell find themselves with more questions than answers...   See also: Imhotep kissy-wissy, beginning the violence, it's a sex thing?, maximum crime points, you've not done anything sexy yet!, and just like Evanescence.   [CW / TW: Body horror, gore, snakes, spitting/saliva, corpse manipulation - Akin to body horror but puppeting a dead body basically]

Welcome once more to Hopewell as we delve deeper into the mysterious murder of Lady Belva, may her soul rest in peace in her tomb and--... who the hell is that!? Join Taro, Nat, and Nerium as they cross the great divide and walk beyond their mortal paths into new powers, new worlds, and new secrets. But those in the living world are equally to be feared... See also: The Belva Bone Hut, I've warmed him up, MY BOY, can I just do some ghost shit, oroborus, lower gang signs, and I wouldn't be caught dead in THAT grave. [TW / CW: Body horror, gore, death, ghosts, murder, alcoholism, drowning, burns.] [This weeks episode also doesn't have our normal middle bit! A huge thank you to Rachel Graff for her fantastic music (https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/), to Orion and the Transcribers for their amazing work (https://themortalpath.com/transcripts/), and to all of you for listening!]

We're back in Tenbren with our third episode of the Legacy of Heroism! Join Iago, Groundswell, and Agnes as they delve deeper into the mysteries of Myrtle's strange behaviour, and visit places we really should know better than we do. But violence seems always just ahead of us, and something devious is afoot...  See also: Wagoo, Hesken Vole, behind the dean, oily cats, gangsters, not in the cat café!, I toed the line so let it be, and Zappy Goes Awoooo. [CW / TW: Body Horror, Murder, snakes.]

Hello hello! We're a day late (sorry) but we're here at last, late but resplendent in our tomfoolery! Join us once again as Nat, Taro, and Nerium take matters into their own hands and make some questionable moral decisions in the process. While some find rest, Taro meets a Big Boss and talks business, but the mysterious murder of Lady Belva still needs solving, and with a ghost-whisperer on the crew, the Mausoleum's the next place to go... [Please be warned this episode starts with some intimidation from people pretending to be guards]. See also: Hard off, gotta find my briefcase, your little ghost boy, animorph hell, a sacred meal, mausoleum houses, and sarcophaguses. [TW / CW: Police brutality/general intimidation or violence on the part of authority figures, ghosts, death.] [This weeks episode doesn't have our normal middle bit! A huge thank you to Rachel Graff for her fantastic music (https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/), to Orion and the Transcribers for their amazing work (https://themortalpath.com/transcripts/), and to all of you for listening!]

We're back with episode 2 of our Quest game, the Legacy of Heroism! Join Agnes, Groundswell, and Iago as they delve into the secrets of Tenbren, and what's taking a bite out of the jackals. With strange things happening to friend and foe alike, the mysteries only deepen... See also: Up in my grill, roll a live, nibble marks, do the commotion with me, you two made such edgy characters, and Moss Eisley.

Welcome one and all to the very first episode of our Legacy of Heroism arc! We use the Quest system (https://www.adventure.game/) to revisit the exciting city of Tenbren. With brand new music by the fantastic Rachel Graff (available on her bandcamp: https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/album/the-legacy-of-heroism) to delight your senses, allow Gary to whisk you back to other worlds, guiding Yubi, ed, and Kitty through danger and mystery as we delve into what it means to be a hero... See also: A mixed result, I know how to say that word, it's not a Naruto, could people get their fucking anime references right?, and my flaw is Megalovania. The Mortal Path supports the Black Lives Matter movement. We believe that police brutality and the institutionalised racism present in the policing systems in both the USA and the UK must change, and that justice must be sought. We heartily encourage you to check out the following link for ways in which you can donate, sign petitions, support for free, and uplift black organisations: https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/

Welcome one and all to the latest episode of our jolly adventures! Join us as we once more cause a ruckus and find ourselves facing threats of all kinds. The fight rages on as Nat and Nerium face the guards, Taro maybe went to hell with Halloumi Mint for a hot minute, and it seems like someone might have ratted out our trio... See also: A little throwback, piss indeed, no I'm good bro, oh no ed, I think we went to hell, S/O to Jezza, Big Jeremennie, and the Meat Puppeteer. [Check out our two amazing affiliates (and listen to our middle bit for the special discount codes): https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/, https://dndice.co.uk/, and check out our fantastic Rachel Graff and pick up some Mortal Path music! https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ ]

Greetings, friends. Join us round the fire. Huddle in closer and listen to Yosen, and the tale of Tenbren...   [The Legacy of Heroism begins on 3rd of June 2020 as our next side arc to accompany the main campaign, and uses the Quest system. More info to follow in the first released episode.]

We're back at it again at the Squeaky Cheese, friends! Our three heroes face a new danger due to some inter-party snooping, and their meeting with the esteemed Neutral Jing is cut short by the tolling of a bell. Trouble comes knocking, and Natalia, Nerium, and Taro find themselves in a spot of bother... See also: Blady Blebla, lunch o' clock, cross the i and dot the t, if things go to pooty-poot, my giant wife is here, squeak squeak motherfucker, and what are you? [Check out our patreon for exclusive content: https://www.patreon.com/themortalpath and don't forget to head over to Rachel Graff's amazing work: https://rachelgraff.com/ ]

Once more we leap into the fray of our newest episode! Join our friends Taro (well, not really Taro...), Natalia, and Nerium as they speak with Neutral Jing, head-hunter extraordinaire with a surprising connection to one of the Blood Chuggers. We talk devious plots and eerie mysteries, and when Nerium digs a little too deep, she uncovers a secret which could mean the end of everything... See also: I would never make fun of your voices, put your headphones back on, your water rate's gone up, mind sync, I need to read the rules, and WHAAAAAAT?????? [Check out our two amazing affiliates (and listen to our middle bit for the special discount codes): https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/, https://dndice.co.uk/, and check out our fantastic Rachel Graff and pick up some Mortal Path music! https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ ]

Welcome one and all to the latest episode in our merry, marvellous tale! Join us as our three heroes, armed to the teeth with plunder beyond their wildest dreams, begin to work out how in the hell they're going to shift this stuff. Deals are made, lace is traded, and lessons are learned. But with their promise to Philomira Brooke and Pelleth, Nat, Nerium, and Taro decide to head to the Squeaking Cheese to meet with the mysterious Neutral Jing... See also: Least favourite word, the worst intro we've ever done, you're in a cave, Bunch O' Buttons, pant-trees, and how much is that swordy.

[CONTENT WARNING: Description of a body from 14:15 to 18:30, in line with previous content on show.] Welcome back on this merry Wednesday! What better to chase away those mid-week blues than an episode of merry japes, mispronunciations, and thrilling twists! Join Natalia, Taro, and Nerium as they continue to explore the mysterious smuggler's cave, and come across several new and very intriguing pieces of information... See also: Who's Gary?, smoke and what?, you seem to know too much about this, if you had one message, known gnomes, and we quit Steam. [Don't forget to check out Rachel Graff's bandcamp at: https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ And use our code MORTALDICE for 10% off at https://dndice.co.uk/ ]

We're here! We're back! We're a day late because whoops! But don't worry, we have a slightly-longer-than-normal episode with which we hope to appease you! Join our merry trio as we get stuck into some serious shenanigans! Taro and Nerium scheme and bond on their way to Nat's location, hidden away in the Singing Skull's smuggling caves on the outskirts of Cindarion. But don't worry, she's definitely cleared all the traps, and now there's only treasure beyond the Blood Chugger's wildest dreams to claim! Right...?  See also: Sea Walter, not a morning person, I'm showing vulnerability, slow traps, mould earth, a hoard of anime, and book crime. (Don't forget to check out https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/ and use the code TheMortalPath10 for 10% off, and come join us on our discord: https://discord.gg/atQDxaq ! We also want to recommend checking out Rachel Graff's bandcamp https://rachelgraffcomposer.bandcamp.com/ as on 20/03/2020, bandcamp is giving 100% of proceeds of sales to the composers! All the music she's written for The Mortal Path is available there, so check it out and grab some sweet tunes!)

The year marches ever on and here we are again, humbly presenting you with a finely crafted hour of entertainment and Quality Content. Join us as our three "heroes" navigate what it means to be a team, confronting old fears and beliefs, as well as reflecting on the bonds and friendships strengthening them, and confronting some unpleasant memories from the past. Oh, and Nat does some sick stunts... See also: I'm very careful with the cloak, don't worry about it Yubes, 13 Cantrip Nat, intell-ajacent, fuck D&D, and wait - you're getting dice rolls?

There's something in the air tonight, friends. Maybe it's because we recorded this on Valentine's day, or maybe we're just using that as an excuse, but either way this episode is full of thrills, chills, and anticipation a-plenty! With the whole of Hopewell's Upper Circle on high alert for a mysterious magic user with a 15ft vertical leap, Natalia lays low (badum tsh) while Nerium and Taro meet old friends and make new acquaintances... See also: Long bones, you have two stats, Jason Gerudo, this is character development! Finally!, WINK WONK, tasteful cream, and oh it's a scam!

Here we go again! Our friends in Hopewell are mingling with all the right people and sneaking, lying, and scheming their way through high society. They may have gotten past the gates, but the Upper Circle of Hopewell doesn't offer many places to hide. Nerium, Natalia, and Taro are put to the test and must use their skills and quick thinking to avoid everything going wrong before they've barely even started... See also: Vape With Dead, Oi come from, that's so good on radio, did you see the handwriting?, oh we cou--... No!, and jump. [Check out and enter our fan-work competition and win a gorgeous set of dice from our new Affiliate http://www.thesecretcatshop.co.uk as well as a specially recorded congratulatory message from a character of your choice in the show! Rules can be found here: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code for The Secret Cat Shop!]

Friends, if you thought last episode was a horny mess, you ain't seen nothing yet. Join our favourite disasters as they visit the sweetest NPC on the planet in jail, gathering clues and information left, right, and centre. With new leads to follow and tickets (literal tickets) into the Upper Circles of Hopewell, Natalia, Taro, and Nerium must keep their wits about them if they're going to pull off a jail-break and a heist all at once... See also: I'm just thinking about Avatar, I'm gonna Google that, Quattro Vagina, OH THAT WAS FINDEX, look 'em right in the eye when they come, and an unfortunate tinkle. (Join our fan-media competition: https://themortalpath.com/2020/01/09/2020-fan-media-competition-rules/ ) (Join our discord: https://discord.gg/e5h5WkM )

Near Year, New Us! This episode contains none of the following: puns, horny jokes, and references no one gets. This is a serious show for serious people playing serious D&D, now. This is what you wanted, right? Right? Nah. We neither. Join Taro, Nat, and Nerium as they get up to their usual shenanigans. They may have been away from Alfallen for almost a quarter of a century, but the world's kept spinning, and there are answers to seek, jobs to do, and people in prison to visit... See also: knees and toes knees and toes, when you say 'north', sleight of hand, a switch job, BMX Bandit, and it's new wave art. [Please be aware although we reference a joke/skit containing Robert Webb, we absolutely condemn his transphobic beliefs and do not support him in any way.] For the rules of our Fan-Media competition, please check out: www.themortalpath.com And don't forget to check out our new affiliate The Secret Cat Shop (https://thesecretcatshop.co.uk/) and make sure to listen to our middle bit for a special discount code!

Ho ho ho! 'Tis the season to be jolly, and we're here to ruin it with another special session of outtakes, bloopers, and general what-the-fuckery. Featuring special guests Beetle and our sadly departed Likki, this is sure to leave you laughing but confused. How we even have enough content for an actual episode of the show is beyond me, but Yubi's caskets of audio mishaps are overflowing and what better way to share the burden of what it's like trying to record the show than this... (We'll be back with the next actual real episode on Jan 8th!)

Season 3 is in full swing as our merry trio settle themselves in The Laughing Cat. Nerium still has pieces of her old life to pick up, as well as more messages from Melvyn detailing all he's done to find her. Taro and Nat head out into Hopewell and to the library, determined to start to unravel the mysteries they've been unceremoniously dropped into, and Findex is put on the spot to prove his worth. But during an evening of good drink and food, their night is disrupted and soured by an old 'acquaintance' of Nerium... See also: That sounds weirdly familiar, Jary Jems, which is the most true?, I intimidate the book, and dump-dump-dump-dump-dump.

Welcome one and welcome all to the very first episode of season 3! Wahoo! Wahey! It's a party and you're all invited! Join our three "heroes" with our favourite anxious lizardman as we crash back onto Alfallen. We're stronger, we're smarter, and we're infinitely more fed up with Gods, magic, and it all not being as it should. They may be back, but it seems everything has changed drastically in the meantime... See also: Our gamer tags, grime-ing, I will fucking punch you Gary, a low corn campaign, this is Taako, and I hope he's paying you well.

As we gear up for Season 3 of our main campaign, take a moment to remind yourself of what's gone on in Tenbren!  Of course many delectable and delightful moments have been omitted or forgotten by yours truly, but if you need a quick reminder of What The Heck Even Happened, this one's for you.    

Join us as we storm the innocent streets of Hopewell, terrifying and thrilling the inhabitants with our cunning business skills and invigorating Goblin-ness. Three new heroes, three new foes go toe to toe as we face the showdown of the century. Food, sanitation, and more puns than you can shake a breadstick at lurk in this deeply weird and wonderful episode... See also: Gary's Unlimited Power, u b knasty, Cookin' and Truckin', I was due to start a sentence, The Shriek, HoNk :0), and I slide my croc seductively across the counter. [You can find Gobblin' Grub here: https://rocketorca.itch.io/gobblin-grub and follow Amber Marie here: https://twitter.com/rocketorca]

Hello and welcome to a very special episode, brought to you by the wondrous ed and Gary! We play The Steps of the Prophet and build a society in Alfallen, trading questions and concepts before turning to the cards for the fate of our settlement... See also: Dash not Dart, we aren't cultured people, fuck that answer!, I refuse to play in this space, let's keep this land boneless, Build-A-Bottom Workshop, now that's what I call corruption, and One Of Us. [The Steps of the Prophet is a game written by Charlie Dart (https://twitter.com/Charlie_Dart) and you can find it here: https://charlie-dart.itch.io/the-steps-of-the-prophet] [You can vote in the Audio Verse awards here: https://audioverseawards.net/vote/] [And you can join our Discord here: https://discord.gg/9x9D4vX]

Well here we are again, dear friends. Wednesday is upon us, and with it a new episode and the scintillating thrill of a season finale. Join us as Taro, Nerium, and Natalia travel down into the Nightmare Lake, and down even further to face what lurks beneath, or above, or in between. Games are played, promises kept, and once more our three "heroes" plunge toward the unknown... See also: A dry passage, the final bounce, is it an iPad, Dank-arill, 3 tricks your rhrino will love, sure would be great if we knew that, and the WOOP bit. [Please vote for us in the Audio Verse Awards here: https://www.surveygizmo.com/s3/5255245/2019-Voting-Ballot and please check out our friends Queer Dungeoneers at: http://queerdungeoneers.podbean.com/)

We're back on our spooky BS, friends! Our three "heroes" venture down toward the nightmare lake, but OSHA isn't in their favour. Some quick spell-casting saves Natalia, Nerium, and Taro from an unpleasant end, but while they might have found some answers to their questions more quickly arise when a body is discovered. With old hopes dashed, our trio must be brave and step out into the unknown... See also: Pray to OSHA, if there's a key..., not a Bop-It, use Amulet on Orb, I have a job now, Kingdom Hearts IV, and oh fuck off!