They Talk Sex

Let's explore the history behind masturbation misinformation, pseudoscience and shaming, with clinical psychologist and author Dr Eric Sprankle.3:00 how he got here7:00 a vast conspiracy to teach education (elle has worked with PH tho)10:00 history repeating on anti-porn 13:00 misinformation is the same 16:00 exploring negative online comments20:00 be a man - destroy your lungs23:00 how do people feel about the word?27:00 does ejaculation impact hormone levels?32:00 what do “sex rehab programs” look like?36:00 how can masturbation be harmful?38:00 chemical castration40:00 high libido does not equal offensive behavior45:00 sperm vs semen vs female ejaculate48:00 more about ejaculate fluid51:00 events causing shame56:00 online communities and hate groups1:01:00 white genocide conspiracy1:06:00 a cute childhood anecdote1:09:00 Dr Drew - how could you?!?Visit our guest at DrSprankle.comUse code TheyTalk20 for 20% off your MayerLabs.com lube or condoms purchases!See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Our last episode of this season and O what fun - let's talk cuckolding! Join Mistress Elle for a chat with her favorite cuckold and hear how he discovered his kinky lifestyle, how he interacts most ethically with the women he worships, and please enjoy some of our funny stories, too.3:00 how he finds women to worship5:00 a catholic priest client - Lady Vi8:00 legal and artistic aid for a friend10:00 scrotal piercings for a leash11:00 Mickey Mod and Mistress Gia DeMarco13:00 first anal cream pie14:00 Mistress Sandi in Montreal16:00 his first ever cucking appointment - Mistress January Seraph21:00 there's a lot of cum soon25:00 moral of the story is be yourself29:00 what's the best part?33:00 beneath a woman and helping her36:00 how to protect yourself from scammers?39:00 losing friends over it?43:00 am I gay or less of a man?47:00 economic impacts?52:00 Americans are more taboo about sharing55:00 Shoutout to his Doms59:00 honored to be the firstFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comPromo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl CondomsSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening 20TALKSWIRL2 for 20% off our suite of Swirl products on Amazon now until November 30th.See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

We catch up with our fave herpes educator Courtney Brame for some updates and additional facts about a common virus that many of us live with, and Elle had new experience with. Let's talk herpes again!1:00 he gets more topless-views3:00 a big herpes survey7:00 clinically massive outbreak11:00 sex workers + herpes 14:00 consented to not using barriers17:00 sexual infidelity is a possibility21:00 herpes location vs Type 1 or 223:00 why do lab tests during outbreak?26:00 20TALKSWIRL229:00 sex toy snafu, unrelated32:00 what is a “normal length” outbreak36:00 May 2024 results survey + St Louis MO40:00 how might one get herpes?43:00 can you get tested without an outbreak?47:00 sex as a polyam person51:00 Courtney got a sex toy too small54:00 jolihamilton.com58:00 a Feeld app match gone awry 1:03:00 saying no to sex1:06:00 $2.45Million lawsuit about herpes transmission1:15:00 elle0ellepdx on TTFind your guest on SPFPP.ORGFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comPromo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl CondomsSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-opening 20TALKSWIRL2 for 20% off our suite of Swirl products on Amazon now until November 30th.See my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

A traumatic attack caused our guest to reframe how she was living her one life. She's now chosen to work as an erotica writer, a legal courtesan in a nevada brothel, and she's here to talk about making positive connections between mind-body healing and sex work.2:00 gang bang playwriting4:00 a traumatic event showed a bird's eye view of life7:00 surviving the home invasion assault10:00 find her at the brothel14:00 be a nun or get married at 16, literally 20:00 how to screen for clients23:00 sexting advice27:00 learn to see the strange as familiar32:00 on being called “old” now40:00 a sexy oracle reading43:00 feel it to heal it46:00 catholic guilt in the inbox53:00 empowerment is the underlying theme55:00 how AI writing scares us58:00 more sex adviceFind our guest on OnlyFans.com/GoodassGoddessFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comPromo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon for 20% off through November 28th - Kimono Swirl CondomsSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

She's been a top lesbian content creator on Youtube for a decade, now learn what's next for Bria Kam after years of growing with her audience, and being part of the first successful UK revenge porn lawsuit. We talk love, strapons, and web work!1:00 how we met4:00 on making our own porn7:00 on being “Mommy” 10:00 how did you start filming?14:00 they won the first ever UK revenge porn lawsuit17:00 Pamela anderson was done dirty 22:00 only one of us likes sucking D25:00 advice for people who make X media?29:00 dating polyam and monogs 34:00 direct porn sales?38:00 web searching “lesbian porn”41:00 what kind of porn does Elle watch?44:00 yes I can orgasm from penetration oooo49:00 what is your top kink?53:00 a new hope for love after a breakupFind our guest on OnlyFans.com/BriaKamFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Have you ever seen healthcare providers who have no idea what you are experiencing personally? Lucie Fielding is a therapist, sex educator and writer who saw the gaps in healthcare and the biases against trans people by their providers, and works to share info and insight about better clinical approaches to trans sexuality.2:00 a clarifying anger6:00 I want clients/people to feel lovable9:00 psychoanalysis was designed to be intensive13:00 what does Yes and No feel like in the body?17:00 “these poor people”20:00 what is anti-trans sensationalism23:00 how people are misled to believe transphobia28:00 what is muffing?31:00 balls and labia are homologous tissue35:00 https://fuckingtranswomen.org/37:00 what are puberty blockers?40:00 kids choosing their own identity prevents self harm44:00 “ambivalence is essential to the change process”47:00 top surgery and boob jobs52:00 I need help with asking how to name their parts!55:00 how do we name our parts?59:00 what is Project 2025?1:05:00 what's next for Lucie?Find our guest LucieFielding.comFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Let's explore Oregon and and particularly Old Town Portland, which has its roots in racism, beer, gambling and sex work, and predatory policing. This city truly was built by alcoholics and hustlers: Let's talk ghosts of old-timey Oregon with Weird History Podcast Host and author, Joe Streckert.3:00 why weird history is important 8:00 tour guide in Portland11:00 a brief history of Vanport, Oregon14:00 early Portland history demographics17:00 beer and gambling and sw 19:00 why is Oregon so white and covertly racist?23:00 Oro Fino Saloon and enforcement against sex work 26:00 why factory-working women also did SW29:00 policing and sex work32:00 Nita Belles is a modern day Lola Baldwin35:00 psychics, bowling, shooting galleries were targeted by cops too38:00 Chinese business owners and respectability politics41:00 Marie Equi and birth control and lesbianism 44:00 a note on eugenics and early birth control47:00 prostitution and “green” attitudes51:00 why are Oregon clubs so different from neighboring states?55:00 all old downtown buildings may have been used as brothels or rooms58:00 the myth(?) of Nancy Boggs and the floating brothel1:06:00 QAnon is like early century white saviorism Find your guest on JoeStreckert.com and WeirdHistoryPodcast.comFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comUse promo code 20TALKSWIRL on Amazon through October 31st for Kimono Swirl Condoms.Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Bella Cummins has owned her Nevada brothel for thirty-seven years and talks about venue management, what the regulations are like, and how to create a safer and more fun environment for everyone..1:00 beginning the day at the brothel 3:00 administrative and staff training5:00 only cis women working here at this time 7:00 decrim vs legalization discussion10:00 clarification on decriminalization in NZ14:00 safer working in brothels than outcall17:00 discounts to Utah residents!21:00 laundry is important at the brothel 25:00 is this a calling for you?28:00 how staff can be proactive33:00 process for business approval by police and city 36:00 law enforcement regulation41:00 condoms used to be way thicker46:00 deadname and origin story49:00 more legal distinctions54:00 why discounted rates for Utah?58:00 more on regulated work1:00:00 sex advice Find our guest on Bellas.UsFind your host Ellestanger.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Do you have sex questions? She's a Black sex educator who advocates for HIV prevention, sex toy exploration and straightforward communication: Ashley Cobb from Atlanta, Georgia offers straightforward and candid input on common questions about anal sex, penis size, and more.1:00 began teaching sex ed in 20155:00 she thinks redheads are cute9:00 38 vs early 20's11:00 pRep for Black women14:00 raw sex equals pregnancy or STIs17:00 syphilis and COVID going up why?21:00 why to have sex before you get married24:00 why insecure men might prefer sexually inexperienced women27:00 how often should I get screened?31:00 when one of you wants to have sex more often34:00 ways to be intimate without PIV37:00 ethical porn discussion42:00 more anal tips for newbies45:00 small penis tips and use your hands48:00 on “sex-negative feminism”53:00 Somaya Critchlow art discussion56:00 what's next for her?Find out guest on IG @sexwithashleyListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

She's a self-taught therapeutic dominatrix and touch provider, who specializes in helping people play and explore boundaries and kinks. Meet Lara the Divine Theratrix and learn about what it's like to explore feeling big, small, and primal.3:00 therapeutic approaches to hands-on work6:00 autism and body language learning9:00 Dr Stewart Brown - on play and communication14:00 protection from obsession19:00 humans are animals 22:00 being fluid and changing26:00 creative Safewords30:00 special interests are so important 36:00 JoyClub, Beducated, Fetlife41:00 discrimination against dominatrix by doordash44:00 sex workers rights and SWUnionUK47:00 examples of worker controls or protections52:00 examples of types of play54:00 play makes life worth living Find our guest on DivineTheratrix.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Let's talk about male bisexuality, biphobia, role-modeling mental health and have a raunchy, fun time with Zachary Zane. He's an advice writer and the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto.1:00 a book about bisexuality and shame3:00 having OCD as a child and now6:00 mental health and spirituality10:00 bisexuality and stigma13:00 not enjoying sex due to stress16:00 a darn good therapist session20:00 how do you role model healthy male sexuality?25:00 tips on coming out to family members 28:00 more discussion on this ^31:00 how to address my gf's biphobia34:00 Bi-Men, By Women book38:00 if they aren't 100% enthusiastic, maybe avoid them42:00 real non-fiction erotica stories46:00 theragun in the butt story49:00 Boyslut things and projects52:00 cancel culture vs call-ins 55:00 any sex tips for our audience?Find our guest on ZacharyZane.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

What are your personal ethics around sex work and matrimony? Why do some people share their interactions with spouses and other people hide them? How to support your partner in sex work? Is it cheating to pay for services? Let's discuss this with a happily married sex worker, Jessie Sage.1:00 a spicy viral twitter post4:00 cancer, and caregiver roles7:00 what work she's done in sex10:00 feedback from her clients14:00 a public-facing nonbinary spouse18:00 on blaming the sex worker22:00 oral sex or we aren't getting married26:00 helping sex lives of other spouses29:00 disclosing to your family that you're dating a sex worker34:00 keep it simple and name what is happening39:00 besties who get weird around SW44:00 outsiders and misunderstanding 48:00 addressing their shame 51:00 how to be a supportive partner article56:00 @thotscholar, Lorelei Lee writing recommendation Find our guest on JessieSage.com and Cybelerain.com Twitter.com/SaptiotextualListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 Behind-The-Scenes at Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Who else has ADHD? Our guest noticed a lack of sexuality-related info for people with attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder. For two decades he has served people who need help with dating, sex, self-care and relating. Let's learn and laugh with therapist and author Ari Tuckman.3:00 he wrote the books because there was a lack of help for ADHD-ers5:00 a lot of mental health and medical pros have little or no sex education7:00 he gravitates to people with ADHD10:00 how does ADHD make dating hard for you?14:00 more examples19:00 people-pleasing behaviors25:00 maintaining interest after novelty wanes30:00 ADHD and staying in the mood 34:00 moving on after oopsies37:00 other tips for re-directing your attention41:00 more ways that ADHD can show up during sex44:00 one study about ADHD people and sex49:00 quirky can be charming or annoying, truly 55:00 medication and sleep questionFind our guest on AdultADHDbook.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Why do some people pay others to teach them how to be sexual and intimate? Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brandon of AmpersandIntimacy expands on our previous episode about surrogate partner therapy, and the benefits and barriers to these treatments.3:00 gaming and play, kink and sex6:00 previously he was a clinician9:00 on people who aren't listening to my boundaries13:00 who his clients typically are16:00 on why people pay for sexual touch22:00 not being distracted or disturbed24:00 hygiene requests27:00 scheduled sex for couples29:00 on over-regulation33:00 client-rejection 37:00 being mean to push me away 41:00 sex therapy is historically for white hetero men46:00 what is Upnegotiating and how to avoid it?48:00 some people test things52:00 tell me your boundaries PLZ58:00 sex tips View our guest at ampersandintimacy.comListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Let's talk with Leilah of A Stripper's Guide about privacy issues and safety, queerness at the stripclub, and listen as she gives tips on setting boundaries and maintaining a healthier relationship with partners and self.3:00 she works night shifts for a few reasons7:00 curious but condescending 10:00 plz don't ask her about her sex life12:00 “gold star lesbian” discussion15:00 on the asexuality spectrum: demisexual18:00 artificial intelligence 24:00 feeling shame vs seeking privacy28:00 I identify with the slutty-looking girl33:00 private about her sex life 37:00 on sounding polite while setting boundaries42:00 image impacting income 45:00 on seeming available 47:00 non-sexual methods of partner bonding53:00 on feeling touched-out 1:00:00 book recommendations Find our guest at astrippersguide.com and IG @asg.headquartersListen on Podurama!Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

3:00 how magic works6:00 OYE ancestors and priesthood family10:00 “Black” magic and Hoodoo and Voodoo, Santeria13:00 Yoruba origins of “queen”16:00 gay culture can be different than queer culture 21:00 all oppression is connected23:00 more genders than two were common29:00 Hoodoo and Voodoo work33:00 her offerings40:00 in what ways can I practice spiritual sexuality45:00 on masking identity 50:00 seduction vs shining brightly 57:00 counseling and spirituality for Black Americans1:04:00 white people can be poisonous1:11:00 Third Eye Books and Cally's Hot WigsFind our guest on IG @serenatheblessedWrite to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Let's talk about aging and sexuality with an elder provider and playwright. Charla Hathaway became “a whore at fifty-four”, and she shares some things she's learned.3:00 starting her life over at fifty-four6:00 anal play table-turning9:00 Joseph Kramer on body healing11:00 on the term “prostitute”16:00 expert level hustling mastery20:00 how to lead an erotic session25:00 backlash29:00 body changes and adapting sexual practices34:00 older guys want intimacy too37:00 breathing reminders42:00 how to lead an erotic session 246:00 men being taught to receive51:00 she has a September show coming up54:00 things to reflect on?57:00 the body is a temple Find our guest at charlahathaway.comWrite to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comDon't sleep in the wet spot! Use code ELLE for 10% off GETTHELAYER.COMSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Hey friends! Your host needs to feel the sun on her buns and to touch some grass and be out of office and NOT editing for a few hours - here's where you can find me online and IRL!

How does social standing relate to sexuality and dating? Have you ever been ostracized for reasons unclear, or been targeted in a smear campaign? Licensed counselor Halle Thomas joins me to discuss the complex issues and impacts of cancel-bullying.2:00 former Catholic, queer and Creole4:00 writing about shame 6:00 grief, racial and sexual identity and relational problems9:00 originated in Black queer spaces12:00 elle hates it when people lie about abuse18:00 cancel-bullying is a suicide risk 21:00 obsessive behavior and unhealthy impacts 25:00 RSD - rejection sensitivity dysphoria29:00 Elle hits pregnant strippers, pass it on31:00 making people houseless for “justice”38:00 how to recognize people that aim to be destructive42:00 stalking and violence and victim's gender45:00 when you're being targeted 54:00 definition of fighting 57:00 identifying friends who exaggerate claims against them1:01:00 impact vs intent 1:06:00 Bebe Montoya, Africa Brooke, Juniper Cameryn, Clementine Morrigan, Jay Lesoleil - cancellation resources1:10:00 life after cancellationFind your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcastFind your host on Twitter @ellestanger Follow our guest on IG @chicorycounseling and chicorycounseling.comWrite to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

She came, she saw, she conquered pornmaking and media: meet Joanna Angel and learn what her work and married life is like as a longtime porn icon of our generation. We have jokes and marketing advice!1:00 on feature-dancing and stripclub work4:00 she works in marketing8:00 started stripping to pay for her porn site 11:00 a golden era of stripping14:00 the hottest people don't make the most17:00 monogamy and porn work21:00 jealousy and business and work24:00 what do the fans say?29:00 the heyday of gonzo porn32:00 creating a niche kink36:00 self care and interests 39:00 how to deal with haters and negativity 43:00 younger people innovating porn now45:00 sex work is not for everyone49:00 what's next for Joanna?52:00 save your money and live your life55:00 sex tip from a porn queenFind your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcastFind your host on Twitter @ellestanger Follow our guest on IG @ joannaangelWrite to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by Aqua Lube– 20AQUALUBE takes 20% off your lube purchase through June 27th.Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

What's it like for Stoney Faye to be an autistic stripper and parent? Let's talk about the intersections of disability and sex work, and swap some ridiculous hustle tales.2:00 disability acceptance5:00 heightened sensitivities 8:00 on being canceled10:00 on being a sugar baby13:00 echolalia and decriminalization of sex work16:00 not naturally feeling close to people21:00 sensory stuff and sex24:00 our libidos are very different but orientations are not29:00 our fave customer in common33:00 nerve endings and genitals36:00 I hate kissing most people41:00 people who don't yet know they are autistic 45:00 on hidden queerness49:00 exploring identity as an adult51:00 stimming and self-hitting57:00 detaching from social norms1:00:00 men dating women (or others) who out-earn them1:03:00 an autistic friend for the end of the worldFind your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcastFind your host on Twitter @ellestanger Follow our guest on IG @ fairyst0ned_Subscribe to our guest at Allmylinks.com/stoneyfayeWrite to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by Kimono MicroThin XL – use code 20MICROXL on Amazon for 20% off your Kimono purchase through June 27th.Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Let's speak to Aja Corynn who made the documentary film “Pleasers”. Our guest applies her anthropological background and creative lenses to her experiences as a stripper; Let's talk stripclubs, relationships, retirement and media.1:00 anthropologist and former stripper2:00 why she quit6:00 California Girls in Anaheim, Deja Vu in Hollywood10:00 “Black and kinky” NY dominatrixes14:00 I'm inside looking around17:00 on survival sex work vs empowerment 22:00 mandatory tipout27:00 don't write about strippers if you aren't one31:00 racism and in Vegas36:00 on the good things40:00 technology replacing strippers?46:00 bad managerial practices51:00 on AB5 in CA and employee status54:00 camaraderie 58:00 don't settle Find our guest on IG @AjaCorynn & @pleasersseriesFind your host on IG @stripperwriter @theytalksexpodcastFind your host on Twitter @ellestanger Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by Kimono Microthin Plus Condoms - use code 20MICROAQUA on Amazon for 20% off your Kimono purchase through June 27thSponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Nate Hazen is a certified bouncer in the state of Oregon and works in downtown Portland. Meet your host's coworker and listen as we swap stories and tips on how to be safer and more fun as a patron of the adult entertainment industries.2:00 could you work in a strip club with the lights and loud music?6:00 felons, veterans, and foster system kids9:00 de-escalation and working downtown Portland 12:00 on men who shouldn't be bouncers15:00 some people have intent to be malicious22:00 basic etiquette for beginners and all25:00 don't come in the club w/o money28:00 on no-touching rules31:00 DTF = down to fuck, btw 35:00 on tip-out being unfair 40:00 where my dogs at?44:00 maybe a tv show about portland strippers?48:00 death and grief in the industry53:00 on being street smart and vigilant57:00 don't hit on the dancers when you work with them1:00:00 pay attention to when you feel shame——————Find your guest on IG @natehazen and @stripcitytv Find your guest's OF on onlyfans.com/johnny_bananaFind your host on IG @stripperwriter @elle_stanger @theytalksexpodcastFind your host on Twitter @ellestanger Write to Elle about the show theytalksex@protonmail.comSponsored by Kimono Microthin Condoms - use 20MICROTHIN for 20% off your AMAZON purchase before June 27th, ‘23Sponsored by JoliQuiz.com - for smarter relationship-openingSee my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

How might one person manage their co-occurring chronic illnesses and disabilities, and have a fulfilling sex life? Meet Katherine Harlow the Park Avenue Pinup and discover how she strategizes her health, pleasure, and functioning. Learn some care tips and disability advocacy with us.2:00 endometriosis, pelvic floor disorder, narcolepsy, Autism, PTSD5:00 70% of people with pelvic floor dysfunction have TMJ7:00 tips for self care and immune system support9:00 some of us wanted to be adult entertainers 12:00 cis men have been born with endometriosis too15:00 strategy around chronic pain18:00 vaginismus is a symptom of larger pelvic floor dysfunction22:00 “admin drain” - @invalidart 25:00 more feedback on invisible disability 28:00 disabled people are accused of lying 31:00 self-advocacy and interviewing doctors33:00 how can partners help?37:00 tips for managing pain40:00 she's on the same sexting app as your host 45:00 Andew Gurza resources49:00 queer and trans people are more likely to be disabled53:00 burlesque is not sex work, true 55:00 more resources like Mia Mingus, @itswalela Sponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.Find our guest on theparkavenuepinup.com Find your host on ellestanger.com See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

What might healthy spirituality and sexuality look like for Catholics? Let's meet Sister Shannon who specializes in pleasure and shame-less education and self help for her online audiences, and opposition to her work.1:00 she's been deactivated online 3x3:00 sexual support for Catholics: there is a need6:00 common questions: masturbation, family shame9:00 imagine Mother Mary as a single mother12:00 How do folks relate to Catholicism and sexuality?15:00 “widen your knees” instead of “spread your legs”17:00 The Old Testament had erotica in it! “Song of songs”22:00 Sister Shannon's current best contact info is hello@catholixwhohavesex.com25:00 the church does not let gay people get married or women be priests - don't beg the hierarchy 26:00 God is non-binary?30:00 who is reporting Shannon's IG online?34:00 Mary Magdalene wasn't a sex worker, sorry37:00 abstinence “education” results in a lot of shame and guilt40:00 bad experiences motivated Elle to find better ones45:00 Richard Rohr, Lavonne Briggs49:00 God probably doesn't care if you have multiple sexual partners52:00 this show can be surprisingly unsexy :) 55:00 does God approve of Jesus-memes?Find Shannon on IG @ItsSisterShannon or @Sister.ShannonSponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.Find your host on ellestanger.com See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

Tom-boys, dykes, butch females, masc4masc, men, and more: how do nonbinary , cis men, and masculine-leaning people experience our world? It's a spectrum of intersectionality! We speak with one person about gender, licensed sex therapist Grace Ballard.2:00 Classic psychotherapy vs Buddhist psychotherapy 4:00 some people love to be disruptive to others8:00 on OCSB (out-of control sexual behavior)13:00 playful, competitive, aggressive, touching = the gym16:00 legitimacy in the workplace19:00 work clothing is performative21:00 how do you express your gender?25:00 how does Elle express femininity for swork?29:00 on gender and power play33:00 masc people report boundary pushing too37:00 on street harassment40:00 take a woman-centered approach?43:00 on sexual functioning for men47:00 men and women need each other 53:00 demonizing masculinity prevents people from being truly healthy55:00 homophobia robs men of healthy touch59:00 diversify your touch1:03:00 break all the fashion rules1:06:00 resources: Doug Braun-Harvey, Liz Plank and moreSponsored by OpenEasier.com - research based non-monogamy resources.Find your host on ellestanger.com See my $1 subscriber material Patreon.com/strangebedfellowsPlease rate and review this podcast :)

3:00 “Fat Girl” photo art book in 20136:00 on being approached by Belladonna9:00 the actual sex part is a small part13:00 on having fake answers for real questions16:00 on rigorous STI screening for pornmakers18:00 on her late husband Carlos Batts22:00 it's a mindfuck, death26:00 on fandom from former teenagers (adults)31:00 praise kinks vs baseline respect 35:00 the importance of other SW friends39:00 on aging as a performer42:00 screening dates as a performer46:00 a ghostly protector48:00 toy tips for bigger bodies52:00 NY vs LA dating58:00 on studying fat pornography1:03:00 “people wanna see my lonjas”1:07:00 on working with friendsFind April on onlyfans.com/theaprilfloresFind your host on ellestanger.com Please rate and review this podcast :)

Do you want to understand what human rights are at risk in the United States? How is social media censorship linked to facsism and reproductive care? How to identify bogus organizations that lie with well-framed media campaigns? Listen to Woodhull Freedom Foundation folks Ricci Levy and Mandy Salley, and enjoy our last episode of this season. See you in 2023!3:00 what is Woodhull Freedom Foundation?6:00 incarcerated women shackled while in labor9:00 attacks on human rights in the US12:00 Governor Abott in Texas sucks so bad15:00 government overreach and intended consequences18:00 how to identify anti-advocacy groups21:00 it is vitally important to vote25:00 on framing messages to mislead29:00 on life less safe33:00 Meta allows harm language, not arousal language37:00 AI searches for CSAM but broadly40:00 shadowbanning makes people poorer44:00 impacts on libraries, schools, disabilities48:00 how to discover if an org is unethical?54:00 WFF is not as impacted online1:02:00 when AI goes bad1:07:00 resources for sexual freedomwww.woodhullfoundation.org@WoodhullFreedom on all social media platforms @Mandy_Farsace on Twitter@RicciLevy onTwitter*Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

Our guest is a non-judgemental therapy intern, sometimes-sex worker, cannabis educator, and sexuality educator. Danielle Simpson-Baker's work is for couples and singles, and we offer practical advice for people trying to manage and repair relationship conflicts.3:00 therapy, sexology, cannabis education and sw6:00 whorephobia in academia and how we are fighting it9:00 experience in full-service, with privilege 13:00 representation as a Black woman 16:00 things ppl don't want to tell their therapist YET20:00 more therapist-shaming, on cannabis and porn27:00 how to reconnect after a partner-conflict?30:00 on non-sexual bonding first, after a conflict33:00 how to help a partner with shame36:00 porn and comedians perpetuate false messages39:00 sensate focus therapy practice43:00 on grief and sexuality45:00 feeling guilty about pleasure after a death 48:00 talking about a taboo desire52:00 hate mail can be hilarious56:00 on privilege despite doing illegal sex work59:00 “turning toward” makes better relationships1:02:00 @cptsdwhisperer is nonbinary, to clarify1:06:00 Dr Lex Brown - resource + recommendation1:09:00 on going down*Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

Let's talk about anal penetration with a strap-on! History, meaning and context around a popular and hot-button activity, enjoyed by people of all genders and orientations and identities. The Pegging Book co-author joins me to talk about butt stuff.3:00 why write this book7:00 Marquis de Sade was a revolutionary sicko 11:00 Luna Matatas coined “peg the patriarchy”15:00 queer opposition 19:00 Mistress may I suck your c*ck?23:00 clean butt tips27:00 silicone lube tricks31:00 consensual injury desire?35:00 no coercion plz40:00 how else should I prep?42:00 black nitrile gloves rule46:00 back up on it instead 52:00 Carol Queen and Bend Over Boyfriend 55:00 toolshedtoys.com58:00 communication and lubrication *Thanks to our sponsor Beducated.com - get 40% off courses and sex ed and pleasure videos and practice sheets, with code: http://beducate.me/pd2244-elle

Camille* was a college kid who met a man that changed her life in a very bad way, and she tells how manipulation, isolation, and physical abuse entrapped her into being forced to work sex, and illegally. She's free now and pursuing a new life, and justice.4:00 child sexual abuse mention7:00 traphouses aren't cool 10:00 on being isolated 13:00 the Starbucks incident17:00 no debit card, no phone privacy20:00 leaving a social media trail23:00 the FBI contacted her26:00 hospital disclosure28:00 “elevating out of the game” is BS33:00 more brainwashing and isolation 35:00 a police arrest in Los Angeles37:00 on “ride or die”42:00 victim blaming about rape45:00 she finally escaped after two years48:00 not all pimps are bad, she says51:00 if you can sell twat, you can sell food55:00 consent is the difference in work vs trafficking57:00 on learning boundaries and trust1:01:00 how to support survivors and sworkers1:05:00 anti-trafficking orgs are a roof but not resources1:10:00 on making attachment to people1:14:00 spit on it1:17:00 show love if you want to help

Does the stuff you bought at the grocery store burn your genitals? Ever forgotten a tampon up there? Learn some tips for vulva and vaginal health, and hear why Momotaro Apotheca started making their own preventative-and-healing products.1:00 for irritation and infections4:00 the hot spring incident 7:00 monistat and vagisil can mess you up10:00 challenges to developing vulva/vaginal care products13:00 the stripper pole isn't safe either - in terms of germs15:00 condoms break, Ass-to-vag happens, nobody's “perfect”18:00 do not use Summer's Eve21:00 what vaginal issues do YOU deal with?24:00 wash your damn hands 27:00 ever forgot a tampon up there?31:00 can you tell your partner?35:00 do you also check your scent?38:00 a Napoleon Dynamite reference - really41:00 is douching safe?45:00 why does monistat (or anything) burn?49:00 I dont wanna think about my vaginal health53:00 what does “odor protection” mean?56:00 what does your pussy smell like?59:00 the vagina is acidic too1:02:00 not just for “women”1:05:00 find the people that you trust

We take another dive into discussing common barriers to communication and relationship security with writer Lola Phoenix, who has been navigating this for theirself and others online and IRL for years.2:00 a lot of common questions5:00 power dynamics8:00 on being protective of the community 10:00 what are your biggest challenges with non-monogamy?14:00 disagreement doesn't have to be scary17:00 forgive yourself for being afraid of abandonment22:00 attention helps us to survive25:00 I will grow my own life regardless of you27:00 what is an anchor? A personal reason for doing 32:00 is being primary the most fun?36:00 we are primed for monogamy39:00 personal preference is not the rule42:00 jealousy regarding sleepovers/sex46:00 i don't need to hear the details for you to have fun50:00 red flags vs irrational53:00 women have to look for threats regularly56:00 book suggestions59:00 object impermanance1:03:00 how to ask for partner support1:08:00 on hiring a sex worker36:00 people are encouraged to be monogamous

No matter what your current relationship structure-of-choice is, conflict and communication around trust and jealousy can be challenging. I asked one of my favorite therapists Yana Tallon-Hicks to offer advice from her new book, Hot and Un-bothered.2:00 meet your guest6:00 parenting is “the kid project”9:00 non/monogamy isn't so different regarding conflict13:00 is my jealousy rooted in reality, or my past?16:00 on feeling tricked20:00 “explicit permission”23:00 lie-inviting behavior27:00 “name it to tame it”

Timestamps:What do we mean when we say something “hurts so good”? Let's talk about pain and pleasure with author Leigh Cowart, who wrote a book by the same name and to explore and document their own journey with thrill seeking and sensations.1:00 consensual pain3:00 ballet can be abusive6:00 emotional and physical pain11:00 autism and sensation-needs15:00 allodynia + hyperesthesia18:00 CBTorture and bliss23:00 why does a beating feel so good sometimes?27:00 on touching our own emotional wounds30:00 Mollena Williams-Haas resource32:00 tip on screening a partner35:00 maketimeforthetalk.com38:00 subs gotta communicate their boundaries too45:00 almost died from an eating disorder48:00 too much exercise can also be self-harm51:00 reaper peppers + pain juice55:00 masochism59:00 listen to what your body is telling you

LK Bertram teaches us about madams, clients, birth control and more as it relates to sex work in colonized North America. Learn how history often repeats itself if we don't learn from the ghosts of our past. 2:00 it started with mugshots 5:00 ghosts are a big part of the culture 8:00 bawdy houses and police violence 11:00 benevolent forces behind social change15:00 porn is one of the first things people drew 18:00 Oregon statutes and prostitution21:00 anonymity can help25:00 frontline health workers and syphilis 29:00 ghosts are radical32:00 Portland Confidential35:00 sex workers marry rich men sometimes38:00 pay me in stocks and jewels maybe42:00 censorship46:00 honkey and whored51:00 stinky breath clients are timeless54:00 where to get an abortion in the 1800's58:00 deep emotional connections and archives1:02:00 retirement plans for old whores

Clinical sexologist, African-centered social worker and self-liberation teacher speaks to us about her theories, frameworks and ideas, meet Dr. Zelaika Hepworth-Clarke.1:00 meet your guest, co-liberator 4:00 sleep is healing in a few ways7:00 the critical study of self - autoethnography9:00 undoing sexual violence with multi-perspectives13:00 phallocentrism17:00 the lure of the vagina is powerful20:00 osunality undermines white supremacy23:00 The Invention of Women 26:00 gender and sex is different 29:00 call me Mo-their 31:00 Kim Tallbear35:00 Joy is dangerous to colonialism39:00 vulvas look different 42:00 his arrogance is not your responsibility 45:00 race play in sex discussion49:00 mentors and heroes55:00 the world is conspiring to bless you57:00 Afro-presentism

Carta Monir is a trans girl pornmaker who explains why a lot of her material is forbidden on some of the most popular and watched platforms, as we talk about identity and work in an ever-changing industry and world. 1:00 meet your guest3:00 what violates OnlyFans? 7:00 reddit and r/traps10:00 on FOSTA/SESTA12:00 on peer support and mentors15:00 different incarnations of a person22:00 what is your fave content to make?25:00 new websites upcoming!28:00 advice for running a successful biz30:00 production can be tough34:00 does it ever make you wanna quit?38:00 plz fight for trans ppl if you can40:00 how do you stay safer from creeps?43:00 don't share your location IRL49:00 unsolicited dick pics are unaesthetic too 53:00 porn is inspo but not an outline 59:00 sex tips

How might weed relate to sex and arousal? Let's learn history, tips, and pleasure practices from the Cannasexual, Ashley Manta.2:00 from DARE kid to cannabis teacher5:00 publishing a book during COVID sucks6:00 why say “cannabis” instead of “marijuana”?9:00 reasons that people use cannabis for sex12:00 on tolerance breaks16:00 “cannabis is not boner pills”21:00 ADHD and anxiety24:00 resources for cannabis doctors28:00 CBD vs THC32:00 what is a placebo?37:00 anxiety makes sense sometimes40:00 as a trauma survivor:44:00 what about this weed study?49:00 cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome (CHS)55:00 what are terpenes?58:00 keeping her tits all to herself

A former pastor speaks to her experiences in the church, and how it shaped her current online pornmaking and coaching businesses she's growing today. Meet Nikole Mitchell and learn about her very public coming-outs.2:00 women were not allowed to lead5:00 coming out during the pandemic8:00 no shame in divorce here11:00 the gateway selfie and website15:00 creating spaces of sexuality and/or spirituality 18:00 no churchy photo shoots yet21:00 shame can be passed down w/o church25:00 i dont want to pass my shame to my kids28:00 sexual energy IRL or online31:00 dirty, awkward, clumsy, rushed34:00 on interacting with pregnant clients36:00 on the vilification of Christians 38:00 Orange County is effed, but lovely 42:00 her previous sex life45:00 purity-poster-child50:00 purity balls are cringe 52:00 how the purity movement traumatized people55:00 other Californians and culture shame about sex1:03:00 I also love lattes1:05:00 orgasm shame

How to talk about safety and hygiene? Masturbation? Learn from an expert in communication and teaching for kids and youth, Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers.1:00 they train physicians, clergy, coaches and more, about sexual health4:00 Swedes are sex-positive!9:00 impacts of purity culture can look like sexual abuse13:00 her article went viral, and opposition?17:00 heredity influences our shapes and bodies20:00 stages of sexual development are normal23:00 what do you wish your parents had done differently?27:00 just tell your kid that you love them regardless of how they look31:00 it's normal for kids to not want to hear from their parents on sex34:00 why my kid can't sleep in my bed sometimes36:00 book recommendations38:00 my parents comment on my body, help!43:00 on kids and genital self-touching47:00 how to explain that families are different 50:00 book recommendations again55:00 listener responses on parenting

America is not the land of sexual freedoms and the Executive Director of NCSFreedom.org explains how people lose jobs, child custody, housing and more due to being polaymorous, kinky, or queer. You'll also learn how we can fight back against losing our human rights.1:00 why NCSF was formed3:00 consenting adults and alternative sexualities6:00 workplace discrimination and harassment9:00 what are the laws in your state?12:00 stigma causes suicide, strife14:00 opposition groups to sexual freedoms16:00 stop calling anti-abortion people “pro-life”19:00 what sexual freedoms do YOU fear losing?23:00 the six dildos law in Texas27:00 on crafting the DSM30:00 working with mental health “experts”33:00 cops shouldn't arrest people for doing kink consensually37:00 foster parents are more likely to abuse kids than parent's partner41:00 “institutionalized discrimination”44:00 what is FOSTA/SESTA?49:00 making adult postings illegal prevents their rescue 53:00 helping SA survivors report to police more safely 57:00 on PSAs on choking 1:00:00 resources and organizing recs

Our guest Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah collected the stories of African women from all over the globe for years in a blog before she released her book on “self-discovery, freedom, and healing”. We discuss gender, power, feminism, people, and shame.2:00 meet your guest5:00 genital reconfiguration for pleasure or mutilation8:00 stories of self discovery11:00 on libido in middle age14:00 child sexual abuse 17:00 on abortion in places where it is illegal21:00 medical professional and race25:00 how to unlearn feelings of guilt29:00 it takes a village to raise a child34:00 why are some young men so rushed during sex?37:00 on anxiety and rushing and violence42:00 the hungry vagina concept 45:00 kink and polyamorous people can experience discrimination 47:00 when marriage is revered50:00 a cliteral sex tip

Lina Dune is a bisexual submissive in a 24/7 Dom/sub relationship and she is a proponent of healing-BDSM. Meet the web's @askasub and receive advice from a fairy godmother of kink and relationships. 2:00 what is a 24/7 sub?5:00 gender roles can be kinky8:00 importing themes of external oppression11:00 male subs are people too13:00 violence and sexual violence warning 16:00 you can't please everyone19:00 what might look confusing to an onlooker?24:00 how to spot take doms27:00 doms are people too30:00 Doms should be vetted on their politics33:00 why No is not a Safeword36:00 how to regulate after a scene40:00 BDSM comes from a place off mutual respect44:00 on One Penis Policies48:00 I don't need multiple dicks in my life to be a feminist 53:00 on compatibility56:00 how kink has been helpful 61:00 schedule your sex

They Talk Sex takes a little break.

Would you pay someone to teach you how to be sexual and intimate? Some people do! Surrogate partners work with clients to learn their bodies and how to have consensual, boundaried, erotic contact with others. Brian Gibney of bgsurrogatetherapy.com talks about touch, legality, and a misleading movie related to surrogate partner therapy.1:00 he helps people learn to be sexual and intimate4:00 Cheryl Cohen Greene sounds awesome 6:00 reasons why people seek out a surrogate partner10:00 what is the training process like?13:00 examples of boundary exercises15:00 people cry a LOT18:00 teaching people how to say No and Yes confidently 23:00 freedom to be yourself26:00 some clients are not in distress, others are29:00 challenges of the surrogate partner work32:00 clients may fall in love and experience an ending35:00 yes it affects how we do dating as providers39:00 your host cries again here44:00 do clients have to be attractive?47:00 how can LMFTs work with surrogate partners?53:00 on Brian's deceased son with disabilities 58:00 life should be less painful

You may know her comics, art, or stripper-social media: listen how Jacqueline Frances is adapting to a new and divorced life after stripping.1:00 I love a new crowd4:00 convince me to invest in you7:00 why she is retiring from stripping 10:00 on becoming internet-and-club-famous 13:00 how stripping culture has changed in a decade16:00 content warning for sexual assault20:00 thirst traps doing good work24:00 Jacq has a new book28:00 any advice for my last year of stripping?31:00 a note on positionality34:00 hustle tips pleeeease38:00 my body is a hot resource45:00 be careful when flaunting cash online49:00 strippers can tell you when the economy is bad53:00 if I'm not getting money, I'm getting knowledge56:00 Jacq's plans for her future

Nikki Gilliland was kicked out of college, ostracized by her town, and had her children taken away after her professor decided to target her for her decade-retired pornstar past. Now she's suing the state of Oregon in a historic Title IX discrimination case.1:00 she was blocked from college for her former porn career3:00 Nina Hartley was her first lesbian scene7:00 she didn't know people hated pornmakers so much11:00 Coos Bay, Oregon really sucks in a lot of ways14:00 “only classy women can be nurses”16:00 her kids were taken away 18:00 the social work system in Oregon is pretty messed up too25:00 escorting is “legal” in Utah, but not prostitution lol28:00 disclaimer on the term “clean” and STIs31:00 how might I explain my xxx work to future children?35:00 when your entire town hates you, it's dangerous37:00 sex worker outreach groups43:00 the minority stress perspective 46:00 let's talk about police raids on legal escorts in Utah49:00 title IX Discrimination and her historic case53:00 blowjob tips

Your host interviews Chicago entertainer Ben Krane about his work and experiences in stripping, gogo-dancing, and internet content creation. 3:00 Boys Town neighborhood in Chicago5:00 short kings in Hydrate Night Club9:00 FOSTA/SESTA killed the Tumblr star12:00 social media restrictions make me poorer17:00 what's ur experience with male strippers?19:00 first kiss with a stripper23:00 how much groping happens at your job?25:00 explaining fluffing aka getting “showy”29:00 owning a ton of undies33:00 getting to work is half the battle39:00 straight men in gay/straight strip clubs42:00 trust no internet platform47:00 Moms love Chippendale's51:00 stereotypes are outliers55:00 sex tips from our guest

How can we do sex and life more ethically? We take common questions with Margaret King, LPC of attunementpsychotherapy.com1:03 meet your guest3:25 why the therapist can't party with you8:30 examples of guiding principles and sex15:17 Don't slap people without asking19:31 on public sex without asking everyone's consent22:55 on sharing herpes status with hookups29:57 why not legalization of sex work32:00 why rope play or kink can heal people 35:00 consent is required and can be sexy38:00 build trust slowly40:49 body modification can be healing or self harm45:03 am I rewriting the narrative or replaying harmful scripts?48:18 what if my partner doesn't want to play kink with me?51:00 what if i get triggered by play?56:26 police brutality in portland 1:00:00 how cultures express different values