Video Store Rewind

Video Store Rewind gives it one more shot at a comeback. This time we discuss possibly the most tolerable video game adaptation of all time, Mortal Kombat.

Here's another one!

Video Store Rewind returns most triumphantly with the first face to face episode in damn near 7 months. Zac's on vaca but Rich and Matt helm the mics to bring us a long awaited episode.

Back from the dead but still in quarantine, it's finally time for a new episode from VSR! We're taking a look at the 1990 Tom Savini remake of Night of the Living Dead, starring Tony Todd of Candyman fame, and Patricia Tallman of considerably lesser fame. The film progresses much like its classic original, but now it's in color and featuring only 40% of the director's original ideas! We meet our various characters in the barricaded farmhouse, but none more loathsome than Harry Cooper, the 98%-bald asshole who does nothing but shout his loudmouthed opposition at everyone. I wonder what was going through his head at the end? Well you'll need to tune in to find out! Grab your old-timey rifle and let's destroy some zombie brains! It's Night of the Living Dead!

When your mom's on an extended vacation and your babysitter croaks and you accidentally threw away all the food money, you'd better flip a coin (or an off-brand frozen pizza) and see who has to get a job and provide for the family. Even better, let's lie on a résumé to get that job you're dangerously unqualified for! Better still, let's get real acquainted with our new favorite phrase, "petty cash"! When Sue Ellen (Christina Applegate) finds out that the company may go belly-up, she devises a plan for her and her siblings to put on a fashion show to save the company. Will she be right on top of that? Will the dishes get done? Will the dirt get mowed? Tune in and see! But watch out for that creepy Gus character. He's an A-1 slimeball. It's Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead!

My Father the Hero (1994) by VSR Media

Street Fighter (1994) by VSR Media

It's the 2nd installment of the Elm Street franchise and this chapter is surely one to remember! We follow young, sexually confused Jesse as he experiences nightmares of Freddy and wakes up shirtless and completely drenched in sweat, KY Jelly, and whatever else you can think of. Even though he's shirtless and wet 80% of the movie, it still isn't as sexy as Johnny Depp in that crop top am I right? This time, Freddy can kill outside of the dream! And it's this kind of rule breaking that ensured Part 3 would be a much better film. With more homoerotic subtext than you can shake a stick at, this week's episode will live on in your darkest dreams. It's A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge!

No, that's not beloved E.T. star Henry Thomas at the helm. It's convicted bank robber and narcotics abuser Joey Cramer! Although those days of run-ins with Johnny Law were still years ahead of him, Joey found time to star in this lesser known, awkwardly-toned yet delightful childhood sci-fi adventure from the folks at Disney. Team up with your pal Max (inexplicably voiced by Paul Reubens of Pee-wee fame) and set off on an adventure you'll never forget! Or maybe just a mildly amusing adventure where you're just trying to get back home because you're an idiot kid who has no idea where his hometown is. Good thing your idiot brother has some cool fireworks to guide your way! This week, get ready for some whimsical 80s charm with Flight of the Navigator!

Ever feel like you just didn't belong in this world? Seeking the haven of your own kind that are just a little offbeat? Look no further than Midian and its underground co-op, the Nightbreed! Cast away eons ago by the Naturals, the breed live relatively peacefully apart from the rest of society. But a serial killing psychiatrist (David Cronenberg!) with a badass mask and knife are here to end it all! Be lucky to have your loyal lady Lori by your side, since she'll go to the ends of the earth for you, and then some! And stick by your ol' pal Narcisse. He'll come in handy, with or without a complete face. And watch out for that awful Captain Eigerman. Him and his trigger-happy band of rowdy yokels are sure to spoil your fun! This week, get ready for an all-out orgy of monster makeup madness known as Nightbreed!

Get ready for a Ho-Ho-Horrible Christmas! Don't let the literal dozens of riled-up PTA members try and convince you that Santa is sacred and shouldn't be fucked with. The Santa in this film already reminds you of that. It's the most wonderful crime of the year! And he's prepared to end your Christmases should he suspect you of being the least bit naughty. His childhood trauma of witnessing a homicidal mall Santa murdering his family will ensure all of the psychological madness needed to inflict his holly jolly hijinks on any of the misbehaving townsfolk. Also add in his crazy, Santa-fearing mentally-fucked grandpa who gives him all the genetic predisposition he needs to make a list, check it twice, and murder any non-believer who gets in his way. This week, it's a bloody Christmas miracle: Silent Night, Deadly Night!

Do you like when Zac writes descriptions? How about descriptions written by Zac? Do you ever feel the need to read the description written by Zac? Well keep looking because this episode is Zac-less! That's right! The first ever Video Store Rewind episode minus everybody's favorite description writer! This week we delve into the 1985, 3 year production process, 15 re-write process, and soundtrack changing process that is known as Legend. A hyper stylized-ultra fantasy starring America's sweetheart, Tom Cruise... Oh wait... I meant Mia Sara.... Oh wait.... I mean Tim Curry! Grab your beer bottle cap scale mail, sword, and shield and get ready for Legend!!!! With special guest, ultra listener and Stain Glass Extraordinaire, Carl, from Stained Glass by Carl!!!

Dive into the 4th (and thankfully final) installment of the Jaws series while you ponder the question on everyone's mind: Can a shark really take revenge on someone? While this shark's brain is roughly the size of a walnut, it can nonetheless track you down and plot the murder of your entire family, even if you travel a thousand miles away via airplane flown by drug smuggler/occasional pilot Michael Caine. Oh yeah, this freaky fish has a blood lust that knows no end! Is it personal this time? Ellen Brody sure thinks so, and so does the film's official cliché tagline! Featuring the only shark in the world to evolve the vocal capacity of an African Lion, this razor-toothed beast is sure to at least inspire a few lazy, gimmicky dream sequences. This week, grab a Bahama Mama with your new pal Hoagie and climb aboard Neptune's Folly as you face the most bloodthirsty, remorseless eating machine known to man. Just make sure you have a plan before you set sail! Risk your life in the name of science and you're sure to be the real MVP (Mario Van Peebles) of the film. Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the theater, it's Jaws: The Revenge!

G'day, listeners! And get ready for a real Serious film! Just when you thought you knew the story of the world's greatest mind, comes Yahoo Serious (seriously) with his little-known story of how a curious, apple-loving freak put bubbles in the beer! Oh, and he also invents "roll & rock" music using science! E = mc Fun in this Aussie-centric tale of the wacky, lovable bushman who knows he's destined for scientific greatness. Join Albert and his newfound love Marie Curie (seriously) as they chase their dreams all the way to the Science Academy Awards in France! But watch out for that awful Preston Preston. He's out to steal your formula for "ehmk" and pass it off as his own! He might tell you he just borrowed it for the good of mankind, but don't believe him. He's a dick. Anyway, get ready for the lesser-known force in the 80's Down Under fad, Young Einstein!

You'd better think twice before ever inviting your new neighbors in the house. They might want more than a cup of sugar! Marcy D'Arcy and Prince Humperdinck round out the cast as our hero Charley gets increasingly more frustrated trying to convince the world that the new next-door neighbor is a bloodsucking creature of the night. With some killer makeup and Special FX, this flick is one you can really sink your teeth into! Don't forget the garlic, the holy water, and your secret vampire-killing weapon, TV host and former B-movie actor Peter Vincent! Remember: if you want want that cross to protect you, ya gotta have faith! This week, it's everyone's favorite movie about a vampire named "Jerry", Fright Night!

For this episode, if you can remember everyone's names and precisely how everyone is related and have it all make sense, you win a prize! Featuring a still baby-faced Paul Rudd in his 2nd major film debut as the creeper across the street with an obsession for finding the truth behind Michael's true motives. You can bet The Shape is back and at it again with his stabby hi-jinks, but this time with a cult twist! But don't worry, no matter how you die you can count on being picked up and stabbed onto something conveniently nearby. This week, prepare yourself for one of the worst in the franchise, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers!

Do you believe in Chinese black magic? This movie demands it! Hop on the Pork Chop Express and enter a magical realm where green-eyed women are the hottest commodity! With ancient shape-shifting evil sorcerers, multi-eyed floating heads, and underwater death traps, this crazy place has something for everyone! Featuring John Carpenter regular Kurt Russell as the feisty, lovable roustabout Jack Burton and Kim Cattrall as Gracie, the girl who steals his heart. “Light up the eyes” with your friends Egg and Wang as you battle the evil forces lurking beneath Little China. But watch out for David Lo Pan and The Three Storms! He wants to sacrifice your fiancé to the gods gaining favor to make him immortal! This week, bring an Uzi and a sweaty tank top and join in the fun as we review Big Trouble in Little China!

"Just in time for the return of Pennywise to the big screen, we took another look back at Part 2 of the original TV movie of Stephen King’s IT! I think we learned, once again, that while there are some memorable moments, this film really only holds nostalgia value. But hey! It definitely sticks to its guns in following the book ‘cause check out that huge stop-motion spider at the end! Try not to laugh at the actors caught in the deadlights though, or you just might enjoy the very underwhelming climax of the film. This week, join Bill, Bev, Richie, Stan (RIP), Eddie, Mike, and Ben as they join forces following a heavy meal of Kung Pao shrimp, crab wontons, and General Tso’s chicken, gaining essential fried-food energy to battle the Eater of Worlds! But watch out for those fortune cookies! They bite back!"

Let's face it! There are four types of people in high school. You're either a Jason Dean, Heather Chandler, Veronica Sawyer, or a Martha Dumptruck. Listen in as we discuss expertly written clap-back dialogue, suicide, popularity, and flaming beer in the highly acclaimed and most highest rated film we've done. It's 1988's high school bullying flick: Heathers!

What if you saved the world from an evil utility company with the help of your misfit friends? What if some of those misfits are genetically mutated half-men, half-kangaroos?! Suggested beastiality aside, it's exactly what you asked for, and goddamnit this movie delivered! And to spice things up we have no less than a thousand costume and hair changes for our tough, sexy, feisty hero played by Lori Petty. But watch out for that awful Malcom McDowell! He might decide he's evil and thirsty enough to drink the water from your shriveled, dehydrated corpse! Grab your tank, your danger balls, and your dry, sarcastic wit and get ready for the dusty, mid-90s hyper rapey cult classic known as Tank Girl!

Have you ever gleamed inside of a cube? No? Oh, because it's a stupid, made-up metaphor and an even worse title for a movie? Fine! At least you can try your best at solving a murder mystery while skitchin' around town with Tony Hawk and the rest of the gang. He might deliver the promise of some piping hot Pizza Hut pizza, bruh! Remember, no one's more competent than a 17-year-old, skateboarding amateur detective at getting to the bottom of his adopted brother's mysterious death. But be careful! Those fingerless gloves are no match for Mr. Lawndale's Smith & Wesson! This week, it's the radical skateboarding cult classic: Gleaming the Cube!

This film has everything! Space vampires, space boobs, evil comets, global pandemics, Patrick Stewart, space boobs, alien spaceships, astronauts, space boobs, sword-wielding scientists, space bats, and even space boobs! Mathilda May saves the day in this sci-fi thriller directed by Tobe Hooper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist). This week leave your space bras and your inhibitions at the door, folks. It's the space vampire clusterfuck known as Lifeforce!

The episode that started it all! Here's a remaster to hold you fine listeners over!!!

Listen. If you're edged 'cause we're weezin all your grindage, just chill! 'Cause if we had the whole Brady Bunch thing happenin' at our pad, we'd go grind over there. So don't tax our gig so hardcore, cruster! Also, who knew becoming the popular kid in high school was as easy as a misguided attempt at digging a hole in your backyard where a pool would be installed to be unveiled as the centerpiece of a radical 90s high school party where you're counting on its epic-ness to propel you into the social stratosphere to the point where the hot girl will like you but then that hole had a frozen caveman in it which lead to her actually liking HIM but then you learn some valuable lessons about being yourself but then never actually learn anything at all? Well, that's this movie! Come check out these fresh nugs with us, bud-dy! This week it's Encino Man!

Don't you wish your childhood imaginary friend could come to life and help you sort out your adult problems? What if he's a zany British man with crazy red hair and an intense thirst for only the messiest of hijinks? Is the film a serious study of mental illness? Or is it just an excuse to see a full-grown man go completely bonkers and rub dog shit all over your mom's brand new carpet? The true motive remains to be seen. And if you really believe that Carrie Fisher's character lives on a houseboat, and no ordinary houseboat, but a true Huck Finn-style Mississippi Paddle Steamer, then I suppose you're "all in" for the rest of the situations this film proposes. This week, grab a bucket, mop, and some paper towels cause it's the messy weirdness known as Drop Dead Fred!

You know you're in trouble when your best advice was a road sign. In the town of Superior, Arizona, nothing is what it seems: Where every location is harsh and sweaty, and every person in town is two-timing or double crossing another. Where every person has an ulterior motive and can't wait to pin their problems on an unlucky drifter. Enter Sean Penn, desperate to leave but equally desperate for that sweet, sweet money. It's too bad getting sexually teased by Jennifer Lopez doesn't pay that well! Better walk the line though and watch out for Toby N. Tucker, 'cause he's got a score to settle with you, or else, kaboom! When TNT goes off somebody gets hurt! Grab your duffel bag, your spare quarters, your gun, and get that repair bill paid for Darrell or you'll never get your prized Mustang back! This week, it's the hot, dusty, sweaty, bloody, Ollie Stone clusterfuck known as U Turn!

If you think a sarcastic, wisecracking anthropomorphic duck, a sexy rock girl and a goofy lab assistant are a surefire recipe for fun... think again! Delight as Howard and his new friends do no less than save the world from evil aliens set on wreaking havoc all over Cleve Land and presumably the entire Midwest! Do you like duck puns? Well this movie is counting on it! There are more here than you can shake your tail feathers at! Pull up your favorite recliner, grab your MallardCard and your cigars, and be ready to break out those mad Quack Fu skills should the need arise. This week, get ready for everyone's favorite wacky waterfowl: Howard the Duck!

Do you ever wish your cable guy would just install your cable and go? In the 90s, it wasn't that easy. You may or may not have to endure the kind of friendship that makes you do battle at a Medieval Times restaurant, be framed for receiving stolen property, unknowingly solicit a prostitute, or play Porno Password with your own mother! You may want to think twice about slipping the cable guy $50 for all the premium channels. Not only is it illegal and in this state if convicted you could be fined up to $5,000 or spend six months in a correctional facility, but you may end up with a creepy new friend named Chip Douglas! But whatever you do, don't get on his bad side, cause he can be your best friend or your worst enemy! Get ready to woo back your girlfriend, play sound roundball, and await the verdict in the Sam Sweet trial on the Information Superhighway! Stay tuned, it's The Cable Guy!

Part 2 of our Showgirls episode!!!!

It's showtime, ladies! Welcome to a world of sleazy men and the lovely yet hungry ladies they depend on to make it big in Sin City. Beloved 90s TV star Jessie Spano (Elizabeth Berkley) is Nomi Malone, the scantily-clad tough cookie who's looking for her big break as a professional dancer on the Vegas Strip. Whatever you do, don't call her a whore or she'll make you pay! This film has it all: bad acting, overly-long dance sequences, and with all the pasties, high heels, tube tops, g-strings, and menstrual blood viscosity checks you can handle! A script with so many lines of inexplicable dialogue you'd think it was dictated by a chimp! And a film with the twitchiest, thrashiest, flailingest in-pool sex scene you've ever seen! With Kyle MacLachlan and Gina Gershon to round out the cast, this film is sure to be a staple of cheesy (or brilliant?) 90s cinema. Remember: what happens in Vegas, stays in the script! Grab your cocaine, lip liner, switchblade, and potato chips and leave your inhibitions at the door, honey. It's Showgirls! (Part 1 of 2).

Behold. It's the film that dared to graphically depict the classic Topps trading card phenomenon: the Garbage Pail Kids! You asked for a feature film version, right? Well, you got it! Join young part-time antique store employee Dodger and his new friends Greaser Greg, Nat Nerd, Ali Gator, Messy Tessie, Foul Phil, Valerie Vomit, and Windy Winston in this putrid, snot-riddled and oddly fashion-oriented adventure through a plot only the 1980s could get away with. Better get those outfits made for Tangerine's fashion show, or she just might have to keep taking advantage of you! Be sure to watch out for Juice and his fingerless gloves, and whatever you do, don't wear sandals near Ali Gator! This week, hold your nose... it's The Garbage Pail Kids Movie!

OK that's two Good Burgers and a Good Shake. Would you like a side of Nickelodeon's Kenan & Kel with that? If you're looking for scenes of them surfing burger toppings, think again. But if you're craving some silly, burger-related antics that are fun for the whole family, you may be in luck! But watch out for that evil Kurt and his Mondo Burger cronies! They're out to shark poison the bajesus outta your beef! Grab your Good Hat, your special sauce, and your very own personal Abe Vigoda cause this week it's time for some Fast Food fun with Good Burger!

Do you want a watered-down rip-off of E.T. with a side of rampant McDonald's and Coca-Cola product placement? How about an alien creature friend so unpleasant looking as to raise suspicion on how the design was even greenlit? Well, look no further than this 1988 miracle! Though the film holds a special place in Paul Rudd's heart, we at VSR simply cannot abide. Grab your Big Mac, your Coke, and some sturdy wheelchair brakes because you're in for a wild ride! It's Mac and Me, this week with special guest all the way from Baltimore, Jorge!

Can't we just ring in the New Year safely for once? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Not if Evil has a say! A psychopathic killer has vowed to end the life of an innocent victim every New Year's hour for each time zone, culminating with a local radio celebrity hosting a live event. Will Diane escape the sinister clutches of Evil? Or will she be given a chance to make one more New Year's Resolution? Grab your switchblade, fake mustache, and cheap champagne and join us with special guest Jeff as we finish off 2018 with a bang! This week it's New Year's Evil!

Trying to get some last-minute holiday shopping done, but killer robots keep getting in your way? Think flashing your foolproof ID badge will get you out of trouble? Think again! Think there might be a serial killer on the loose in the mall chopping Christmas consumers into little bits? Think again! Don't write off the killbots too quickly though. Their laser guns might just give you an explosive headache! This holiday season, make room for the raunchy sex romp/thriller/horror like no other. It's Chopping Mall!

Pee-ew! This one may have shattered our faith in competent filmmaking, but yet, we endure. When you’re casually picking up a friend from the airport that you haven’t seen since childhood and stand-up comedian and movie star Sinbad finds a way to impersonate that friend to escape two boneheaded loan sharks, there’s bound to be some mediocre 90's fish-out-of-water comedy mishaps and lighthearted adventure. Unfortunately, not even Phil Hartman can save this pungent stinker. Think landing Sinbad as your leading man, a comedy actor at the height of his popularity, will result in comedy gold? Think again! This week, we discuss the depressing celluloid turd known as Houseguest!

Don't you hate being electrocuted awake right after you lied down for a nap? So does Jason Voorhees. He might even hitch a ride on your party boat to New York City! But we hope his killing spree doesn't put too much of a dent in your plans. This week, grab your harpoon and your hairspray but look out for the grouchy Charles McCulloch. He's out to spoil your fun too! Get ready for the world's most-beloved fish-out-of-water story, Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan!

Don't you hate it when a homicidal maniac just keeps coming back for more? How about his uncanny ability to never actually die, or successfully be transported anywhere? Hasn't anyone learned that you just can't expect to move him (physically or otherwise)? After a Myers-less departure in Part 3, The Shape returns to wreak more havoc on poor Haddonfield. Join us as we pore over every detail of this 80s slasher!

Death ain't no way to make a living. But don't tell that to Frank Bannister, psychic investigator extraordinaire! He just might invade your Grandma's funeral to pass out his business cards... and then might crash into your picket fence and crush your favorite garden gnome. Grab your holy water squirt gun, your ghost buddies, and stay out of Milton's territorial bubble! It's Peter Jackson's The Frighteners! With special guest Pat!

I heard you were looking for Candyman, bitch. Well you found him! And you'd better start believing in urban legends or else suffer the consequences like our friend Helen Lyle. Can't make it to the penthouse at Cabrini-Green? Just say his name five times in the mirror and Candyman just might pay you a visit with help from his pointy friend Mr. Hook. Grab your cigarettes, your photo slides and your tape recorder, but also watch out for Stacey, the homewrecking college co-ed! This week, get ready for your favorite hook-wielding apparition, Candyman!

Do you love a good slumber party, but hate it when they get massacred... again? Even worse, getting massacred with a giant guitar/drill combination by some leather-clad dork played by Mike Ilitch's son. Grab your corn dogs, Easy Cheese, champage, bra and panties, and as many feather pillows you can find and get ready for the silliness that is Slumber Party Massacre 2!

Do you wish to honor your death metal heroes? Did you ever want to know what would happen if you take their only copy of an unreleased record and played it backwards right after they've died in a tragic hotel fire? Strap in, 'cause your rock gods just may come back to life to wreak a li'l havoc. Pay close attention, 'cause rockers Gene Simmons and Ozzy Osbourne just might pop by to wish you luck! Grab your Walkman and your school lunch chocolate milk 'cause it's time for 1986's Trick or Treat, and our first live commentary!

Do you want your video games to feel a little more real? Do you want to experience pure terror firsthand? Well you're in for the virtual reality experience of a lifetime, but watch out for Detective Frank Langella 'cause he's onto you! Grab your Fangoria magazine and your CD-ROM and remember to cover your tracks! For the gamer and horror geek in us all, it's Brainscan!

Do you want to live a luxurious life on the French Riviera, sipping champagne on the scenic overlook of your posh villa? Do you want a life of lavish beauty and tasteful culture? What if you got there by conning rich women out of their money? Do you want to know what it feels like to take a woman for 20 bucks? I bet that shocks a guy like you. This week, grab your hair gel, your costume, and stake your claim in beautiful Beaumont-Sur-Mer with Dirty Rotten Scoundrels!

Do you need cash fast? Landlord breathin' down your neck? Think it might be a good idea to rob the landlord's house where they keep a secret stash of gold coins AND a secret stash of pale, disobedient teens with a craving for human flesh that live underneath the stairs? Grab your gimp suit and your shotgun 'cause it's time for the 1991 Wes Craven original, The People Under the Stairs!

Do you want to live the farm life? Do you see yourself amongst the chickens, cows, pigs, and perhaps even, a weasel?! Fear not, for your thirst of Pauly Shore antics shall be quenched by none other than Son in Law! This 1990s fish-out-of-water story will surely have you whittling wood and sipping on Bartles & Jaymes in no time. With special guest Pat!

Do you ever stop to wonder who your neighbors really are? Do you ever suspect Satan worshipping, grave digging, or ritualistic sacrifices? Do you ever think about minding your own business? Hell no! You gotta know what those weirdos are up to! Join three full-grown men as they gossip, snoop, plot, and creep around their quiet, little suburban neighborhood street looking for answers. Get your pretzels and sardines ready, 'cause it's time for the Tom Hanks comedy classic, The 'Burbs! W/ special guest, Kim, Matty's wife!!!

Video Store Rewind is back from a long break with the most sexually charged teen movie in cinematic history! Listen in as we absolutely lose our shit about the plot and details of this soft-core porn for grade schoolers. It's 1989's Tenn Witch!!!

Do you want a fun way to lose weight? Yes, it's a Fat Camp. But hey! They have Go-Karts, and The Blob! But watch out for your dear old Uncle Tony. He just might exploit you for his personal gain. In the meantime, Pat Finley and the Bushkins have only one question for you: Are you ready for the best damn summer of your life?! Join us with special guest Brad the Impaler of the Dinner In Hell podcast on our adventures at Camp Hope and we'll all be Perkisizing in no time!

Do you have what it takes to drive a rusty semi-truck across the country to win an arm wrestling competition in a last-ditch attempt to reconnect with your estranged son and rescue him from the custody of his rich, dick-head Grandpa? Well, look no further than this weeks episode, and our sweatiest movie yet! It's Sylvester Stallone in Over the Top!

Is your city lacking law enforcement? Has crime sky rocketed in your neighborhood? Does your town deserve the hero we all need? Well look no further, my helpless friends. Blankman is on the scene! Join Rich, Matt, and Zac as we discuss the underrated 90's superhero comedy, Blankman!