Abbey Normal

Have you ever felt like life hit you with everything all at once? Well, grab a cup of coffee and meet my friend Tamera. She faced the chaos of deployment in the midst of her marriage falling apart. You'll hear her journey from college student with hippie dreams to becoming an Air Force Major. She opens up about what motivated her to step into the military right after 9/11, and then drops us into a heart-stopping tale of her plane crash in Afghanistan. She emerged with humor intact (and maybe a bit more appreciation for OtterBox), plus an unmatched ability to compartmentalize her life. Yet, through all the turmoil? Therapy shines as a beacon, guiding her to a mentally healthier place by the end of it all.   Originally aired March 30, 2020

Ruminations and ridiculousness for your holiday listening enjoyment! This short "VM" episode highlights "cut" topics from Abbey's convo with Stephanie and MaiLee (ep. #114). This one's got it all! Starting out thoughtful - Who do we dress for and do stable romantic relationships produce contentment with our bodies? And ending with a family dinner that takes a surprising R-rated turn. Bonus: meet-cute tale involving puppies and skateboarding.

Abbey, Stephanie, and MaiLee discuss why Gen Xers look hella good. It started out rough for us, growing up in the Cruel Kid Era. But things got better and now we have access to the miracle of botox. Abbey knows nothing about beauty products. So Stephanie shares her skin health trials and skin care routine. And, 20+ year clinical aesthetician, MaiLee educates us on what Botox is, what it does, and what the pros and cons are. We talk candidly about what makes us feel good in our bodies, why body neutrality may be an okay approach, and whether there's a moral line in pursuing body modification. MaiLee offers the myth of Pygmalion to guide us. Eventually we get to an issue that isn't exclusive to Gen X - body dysmorphia and disordered eating. Join the conversation alongside friends who are willing to get real about our aging bodies, including a nightmare perimenopausal symptom: Proctalgia Fugax.     

As a little one, Grey confidently told their parents they were a boy. Yet, in a Pentecostal family in the 1980's, this was not okay. This episode Abbey and her book club buddy, Grey, explore the intersection of body and spirit. Grey offers insights from a life marked by severe depression and addiction, to one of self-devotion, freedom, inner safety and belonging. Tune in to hear their story, woven with the beautiful words of author Lore Ferguson Wilbert, and interspersed with Abbey's clumsy questions and levity.   Guest: Grey Doolin, M.Ed. is a trauma-informed somatic coach, mentor, facilitator, and speaker who supports queer and trans folks to be magnificently themselves. You can find more of their work on Instagram @grey_doolin or www.greydoolin.com   Book Club book quoted: The Understory by Lore Ferguson Wilbert Abbey Normal Podcast on Instagram

Just when Jenene thought all the family secrets had been revealed, a bombshell dropped. Along comes Michelle, the sister she never knew existed. Michelle is just as surprised by this twist as Jenene is. Together they embark on a journey to understand their birth Mother's life, bring the truth to light, and understand their own identities. Join us to hear Michelle's story, beginning with her adoptive Mom's escape from Nazi Germany, through the life they created in America, and finally, to Michelle's special bond with her newfound sister. This is a story of resilience, connection, and the power of family, no matter how it's formed. Plus, tattoos. This is Part Two. For Part One go to Jenene's story: "Heart Puzzle".  Hyperdrive Kittens Abbey Normal Podcast on Instagram

Lead singer of The Hyperdrive Kittens, Jenene thrives in the spotlight. So when she got an offer to meet her Dad for the first time, on television, she jumped at the chance. This fateful meeting launched a series of revelations that rocked her world, and changed everything one family knew to be true. Join us for a rollercoaster of laughter and tears as we put together Jenene's "Heart Puzzle" and navigate the complexities of family and identity. This is Part One of Jenene's story, tune in to Part Two: Long Lost Sisters for the conclusion! Hyperdrive Kittens

There is a lot of fear swirling around sharing injectable-related weight loss, which leads to secrecy within our relationships. So, where does the judgement come from and is it possible to break free from the negativity? Even if it's coming from your Mother? With knowledgeable guest, Maureen, Abbey explores the disconnection from our food sources. Our relationship with food has spiraled out of control in just a generation and a half. And the Evil Trifecta keeps us eating junk that is neither nutritious or satisfying. (And is probably making us sick.)  Tune in for some actionable tips on how to reclaim your power, act local, educate yourself, and cook meals that make you feel better!    

Ever felt like society's got a million opinions about how you should look and the right way to arrive at their ideal? Lately, Maureen has been receiving compliments, including the particularly grating, “Wow! Skinny Minnie!”. We're going to explore the root of those "compliments", and reflect on the emotional tightrope we walk- caring for yourself, while grappling with patriarchal beauty standards imposed on all of us. Maureen shares her decades-long medical rollercoaster; diets, diagnoses, medication, and a hot new injectable. Join us for a real “before” and “after” and “here we go again” story. We're unzipping one bag of body baggage to gain a better understanding of ourselves, self-forgiveness, and how to break free from the toxic body shaming cycle. “You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin.” -Barbie Movie (2023).   Blue Note Sessions Music: FasterFasterBrighter Spek Stephi Feeling Fine Hensteeth  

How can we enact social change, alleviate systemic oppression, and foster a more just and equitable world? Our guest, Dawn, says it all begins with self-connection, our relationship with ourself.  This episode we focus on self-connection strategies in the realms of emotions, vulnerability, and beliefs. Dawn encourages us to attune to the data in our bodies, understand where our beliefs come from, and navigate the discomfort of new ideas. She shares stories and insights, from the impact of self-separation on global issues to the everyday challenges of staying calm with our kids. Grab a comfy seat and join this exploration into the micro and macro impacts of self-connection. Let's dare to dream of a world where we all feel safe, valued, and empowered to create positive change. Guest: Dawn Bulchandani, our insightful guide, has a wealth of knowledge, including three master's degrees and a nearly completed PhD in embodied validation. She's also a passionate advocate for Gaza, emphasizing the importance of moving from self-connection to compassionate social change.   Music- Blue Dot Sessions: Heartland Flyer Felt Lining Inessential  Brass Buttons In the Box

Dawn Bulchandani is a speaker, writer, and PhD student with three master's degrees (yep, you read that right). She's currently taking a hiatus from her PHD to focus her efforts on advocating for Gaza. Part of that advocacy includes her passion- leading people from the micro of self-connection to the macro of social change. Join this inspiring convo to explore how we lose connection with ourselves and how we can return to our humanity. From humming in the grocery store, to sitting on the roof, we ponder the moments that may help us reconnect with ourselves. Does living our fullest, wildest life also create a more equitable world? Let's push the envelope and find out.   To hear more about Dawn's advocacy work, find her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dawnbulchandani Music- Blue Dot Sessions: Heartland Flyer Felt Lining Inessential  Brass Buttons In the Box

Hey friends! We're introducing a new series of episodes focused on The Body. Please don't be scared, we're not going to rehash old bullsh*t or make you feel bad (worse). This intro gives you an idea of what's coming up. We're going to hear diverse experiences and dive into how society shapes our view of self, the expectations to conform, and the importance of reconnecting with all of ourselves.  Stay tuned for some eye-opening insights and relatable experiences. Let's figure out together how to live more authentically and healthily in our own skin. 

Dawn and her housemates made a pact to never speak of what happened in their flat. From day one they were plagued by eerie incidents, escalating to an unexplainable, horrifying encounter. One they wanted to leave behind forever. Prepare yourself for a spine-chilling tale that will make you reconsider what you believe to be real. This is not just a ghost story; it's a journey into the heart of fear, belief, and the supernatural. Welcome to the haunting on Noriega Street.

Dare to venture into a semi-professional paranormal investigation of Dawn's 1940's-era abode. With our very own Medium in tow, this four-level house seemingly weaves its own tale, subtly revealing the possible presence of phantom friends. Yet, there seem to be challenges surrounding historic norms of 'wifely duties', that make us wonder- Is this a Phantom Friend, or Foe? This investigation sparks an array of questions about life after death and the unknown. It's an exploration that blends the ordinary with the extraordinary, the comical with the somber, and the earthly with the otherworldly.   Music: Blue Dot Sessions Delicates Sun Spots Desmontes New Crescent Email us: AbbeyNormalPodcast@gmail.com

With special guests, Stephanie and Dawn, Abbey takes a peek into the supernatural world with a fresh lens. In a profoundly spirited discussion, this episode explores the intriguing world of paranormal investigations and empathic abilities. Our guests recount eerie, paranormal experiences beginning at childhood. Stephanie sheds light on her personal journey developing mediumship skills, and brings forth the crucial aspect of drawing boundaries between “normal” life and the distracting unseen world. This conversation, for skeptics and believers alike, is sure to widen your perspective and evoke curiosity about the unexplained.   Music: Blue Dot Sessions Delicates Voyager Sun Spots Entrap Overlook Cherie's Polvo Email us: AbbeyNormalPodcast@gmail.com

This episode delves into the significance of acquiring your driver's license and the celebration of a first car. Enjoy an engaging conversation with Liz, a friend who found the path to independence in her iconic pink 'Rambler'. Weaved throughout are the family ties that shape our lives, ultimately leading to that first car and brand new experiences. It's a lively testament to how a car can be more than just an object but a pivotal part of our growing up story.   A case in point, the twist in the story when a stranger shows interest in buying Liz's beloved Rambler, brings to light the important role of unexpected encounters in shaping our lives. Rediscover your formative experiences as this episode reminds you of the thrill and charm of teenage life. Join us and bask in the shared joy of our weird and wonderfully ordinary lives.

In celebration of 100 episodes (and at least 101 "um"s recorded), Abbey shares the triumphs and tribulations of podcasting. What she's learned in four years of creating this show, the advice she ignores, and the moments that make it worth it. Tune in to hear some of the most memorable episodes, and un-released cringey stories from the cutting room floor. Follow Abbey Normal Podcast on Instagram Email us at AbbeyNormalPodcast@gmail.com

Abbey's middle school Bible teacher was a square peg. An introverted goth, artist, musician, and long-term Christian school educator. He never followed the “normal” path in life, which made him an outsider in his own religious community. Abbey gets the dish on how he landed in this conservative environment, and how he survived it. And she asks an important question: “Was I your most annoying student?”

As a youngster, Dawn experienced injury at the hands of other kids (and her own clumsiness). Some of it is hilariously ridiculous, and some is the stuff of Gen X legend. And along the way she learned how to handle herself. Channeling her fight/flight mechanism towards creative de-escalation of tricky situations. Is it enough to keep her safe? And at what cost?   Music: Blue Dot Sessions Vernouillet  We Collect Shiny Things Fifteen Street Desmontes

“I never felt at home in my body." Dee Dee's notes and diary are full of misadventure, cringey exploration, and the drama of french kissing. Yet, in the margins of those stories are lessons about how to manage other people's reactions to your body, (ie. Boys, Men, and your own Mother).  Listen in, laugh along, and commiserate.  Love, Dawn W. Music- Blue Note: Peacoat Crumbletown Glass Runner La Marais Long Time Rye Monder Sebring

Mean Girl stories, we've all got em. We're going back to Abbey's notes from middle school to explore these "girl conflicts" and what they do to our psyches. Including how we respond to these horrible feelings of exclusion now- as grown adults.

Becoming a lifeguard at 16 years old, you unknowingly make a lifelong commitment to be a First Responder. In what other ways does this "first job" impact your life and career trajectory? Tune in to hear what we did after pool guarding: bay and beach guarding, white water rafting, and teaching Doctors how to do CPR. [This episode describes medical emergencies, and mentions death.]   Fresno's Mason-Dixon Line The Atlantic Music- Blue Dot Sessions: Let Go Gecko Kevin MacLeod: Maccary Bay, Easy Jam

Cruise into the afterhours lifeguard scene, complete with pirate costumes, reggae, swims under the moonlight, and running from the cops. Lifeguard parties started at hire- at 16- so we also explore the weirdness of partying with your Coach or Boss, and the awkward (and important) transition from High School to College-age Person in Charge. [This episode describes near-drowning experiences.]   Music: Blue Dot Sessions- Hash Out Highway 430 Arizona Moon Plum King Ivory Pillow The Sermon The High Decibels- Cut Loose Spiedkiks- Freckles Hairslides

Lifeguarding is part of the "very naked" sports, where you have to get used to being exposed (and cold) all the time. So, what is it like to work in a swimsuit all day every day? Do you feel weird? Are you grossed out or turned on all the time? And what about all the touching inherent in the job? We're gonna answer all those questions, plus share the flirting and hookups that may have come along with it.   Music: Blue Dot Sessions Crumbtown Le Marais Setting Up Apple Spice Hash Out

 Lifeguarding is weird- especially the fact that sixteen year olds do this job. But it might be the BEST JOB EVER. Discover what a day in the life of a community lifeguard is like- dominos, blood, Code Browns, and "saves".  [This episode mentions the existence of near-drowning experiences.]   Music: Blue Dot Sessions- Calmion Hash Out Bonbadore Powder Room Vernouillet Via Verre

Abbey embarks on a riotous weekend of punk rock and bowling in Las Vegas, Nevada. She learns some life lessons from the weirdest of them all- Old Punk Rockers. *This episode contains many curse words.* 

Why is the wedding industry so freakin expensive, and also generic and boring?? Why is it so hard to find a non-traditional bridal look? Abbey explores these questions with an industry expert, who provides some insight into wedding apparel, makeup and lashing artists, and photography! 

Abbey's best friend is finally getting married. Her dreams are coming true, it's time to  say "I do"! Part 4 is the grand finale, her wedding weekend. When all of Vicky's family, friends, and dogs, SHOW UP to celebrate. You get an inside look into the beauty of committing to long-term, later-in-life love. Plus, discover if Vicky can keep her chill in the face of event coordination hassles.  Song: Arizona Moon by Blue Dot Sessions

Abbey's best friend is finally getting married. Her dreams are coming true, it's time to say "I do"! After three short months of wedding planning, riding the emotional highs and lows, it's time for Vicky to step back and soak it all up. To decide now how to protect her peace on the big day. And to soak up the love, encouragement, and advice from her besties during the Bachelorette weekend. Plus, do some literal soaking in mineral hot springs!

Abbey's best friend is finally getting married. Her dreams are coming true, it's time to say "I do"! Part 2 is Vicky's Grow Up, the discoveries she makes about herself and her relationship once the glow of engagement fades. She's sharing three short months of wedding planning, including all the weird that comes along with being an Adult Woman Bride.

Abbey's best friend is finally getting married. Her dreams are coming true, it's time to say "I do"! These are the three short months of wedding planning, including all the weird that comes along with being an Adult Woman Bride. Part 1 is Vicky's Glow Up, floating on a cloud of love and happiness, preparing to throw a party for yourself!

*Teen gayness!* Abbey gets the lowdown on life from her LGBTQ teens- Max and Eddie. And talks with Max' mom about parenting a gay teen. We share what's hard for teens (school bathrooms), and for parents (we're confused...), and offer some advice to all the olds out there.  As Max says: "We live in a floating rock!" So, take a deep breath and learn something new.

After getting kicked out of their church community and spending a decade outside, these crazy kids decide to go back. But this time they have their own mission.  Songs by Kim Taylor: The Abyss Cover Me Build You Up Raise Me From The Dead Make Me a Channel of Your Peace  

Raised in Evangelical fundamentalism, these young marrieds thought they were pursuing a path of righteousness- living life outside the box, serving in a neglected community, studying holy scripture. So when they questioned the church's teachings and were told "this is not the place for you", it sent them into a tailspin. How could they live outside the only religious framework they knew? Would their marriage survive out in the spiritual wilderness?  Songs By Kim Taylor: Pearly Gates The Rage Let Me Down All My Happiness

What is it like for men, or boys, to participate in an abortion decision? Aaron shares his experience handling an unintended pregnancy while in high school. And reflects upon the messages received in church, how his theology of "life" has evolved, and what the Christian church should be doing now.

Erin found herself in an unexpected, untenable situation. She managed it. In the years after, she matured, and the situation resolved in her mind and heart. So, there was really no reason to share this secret - until now. Now, she knows how much is on the line. Song: Like a Woman Can by Kim Taylor

OG driver, Stephanie, shares her experience Lyfting in the very beginning of rideshare. During the days of the pink mustache, when everyone asked "WHAT do you do??". She loved the serendipity of her driving days, a little bit of magic and a lot of bartender-style therapy. She shares her best rides, i.e. the ones that led to dates, and advice for how to not be a terrible passenger.    Original air date: April 6, 2020

These young love break up stories are both heart-crushing and humorous. They span trivial, yet intense, middle school breakups, to that first love you were trying to "fix". Plus, we go back to Abbey's Notes to determine if any of the relationship advice offered by 12 year-olds holds up in real #adult life.   Original air date: November 23, 2020

Families choose to give up stable shelter and take their home on the road. Some for adventure and an unschooled experience. Others to find work, with quality family time on the way. They make memories, mistakes, and reinvent themselves as they go. Originally aired May 2, 2020

Do you have a juicy story that's been whispered about during family gatherings? One of Abbey's family legends is the story of a boy embarking upon a cross-country journey to meet a girl, despite his parents wishes. Today we bring the legend into the light- hearing what happened from the perspective of all involved. And reflecting on what the legend says about the family- that rebellion is in the genes. Original air date March 16, 2020.

Inclusion and diversity strategist Amber Cabral, shares candid advice on how to be an ally, build inclusion, and maybe even fix a bro-culture. Offered as an expert perspective on the WEN series, we explore corporate “mistakes”, how to apologize well, and how to speak up for what's best. She claims that the efforts of change-making are worth it but get ready to be uncomfortable. Pick up her book, Allies and Advocates: Creating an Inclusive and Equitable Culture and her brand-new book Say More About That. Original episode release date February 22, 20021.

Check in from Abbey on the THREE YEAR Anniversary of this show! From one human to another- thank you for listening.  This month we're rereleasing five past episodes. If you missed 'em over the years, now's the time to tune in and enjoy. 

As a bookend to the Not The Same series, we're talking to a friend who's still in the EWCCCV*. Choosing to be in the Evangelical community may mean living in the tension, suspending some things to remain in relationships. Katie finds value in that community, so she doesn't get too weighed down by the issues that plague any institution. She tries to peaceably live her life in a middle place, showing love in unseen moments. *Evangelical, predominantly-White Church of California's Central Valley    

In celebration of Father's Day we're talking about unplanned (and VERY planned) pregnancies. Dads share how it felt to get one of life's biggest surprises! And Reverend Maggie is back to explain the big decision she and her wife had to make in family planning. 

Religious affiliation can be so closely tied up in ethnic identity, you're not sure where one ends and the other begins. But academically-minded Carmelita found that her faith did not hold up when life fell apart. Battling depression and alcoholism, she wondered where the omnipresent God of the Catholics was. There was light at the end of that dark tunnel, but where would it lead her? TW: Suicidal Ideation

Did you know there's yoga specifically for Christians? Yep, it exists because Evangelicals are nervous about the "bad juju" of traditional yoga. But it turns out even "holy" yoga may be too much for the church, at least when it's a woman's idea.  This is a story of trauma and betrayal, of pulling your family out of the ashes, and trying to find healing. With a little bit of yoga on the side.    

Sometimes we walk away right quick from our faith tradition of origin and live happily on the outside. Then one day, well into adulthood, G-d shows up unexpectedly. This spiritual journey is full of twists and turns, trauma and healing; a life that accidentally comes full circle. 

Rachel had a tight-knit community growing up in the LDS church. But as cracks in her belief system have widened, she's struggled deciding how she can continue to participate, authentically. Will those cracks become a chasm separating her from the culture she knows best? Will she discover a Truth that doesn't cause harm?  

Part 8: The End Ready to burn it down? There's a lot us Evangelical wanderers want to burn down from our early faith and what the church seems to be now. But there are also changes afloat. New ideas being explored, redefining what church is, what happens there, and who's invited in.  Not The Same series: Not all Christians are the same. There's an accelerating trend toward religious disaffiliation. But there are some Christians who simply don't fit into a box- who take their own faith seriously, and actively question the beliefs and practices of the U.S. Evangelical church. Those who would like to attend church services but can't find one that “fits” them, right where they're at. This series is their stories. Stories of harm at the hands of the church, disillusionment, and the journey to redeem themselves, and maybe, the church.  Songs: Burn it Down and Song for Henri by Jason Morrell

Part 7: The Reverends Dynamic duo, Maggie and Spencer, met in seminary preparing for ordination in the Episcopal Church. They explain some of the history and theology of this denomination, how change is made (and what is allowed). Plus, answer some pressing Evangelical-style questions like, How are YOU a Reverend? and Can you be gay? and But, how do you get saved? Not The Same series: Not all Christians are the same. There's an accelerating trend toward religious disaffiliation. But there are some Christians who simply don't fit into a box- who take their own faith seriously, and actively question the beliefs and practices of the U.S. Evangelical church. Those who would like to attend church services but can't find one that “fits” them, right where they're at. This series is their stories. Stories of harm at the hands of the church, disillusionment, and the journey to redeem themselves, and maybe, the church. 

Part 6: The Bridge Builder Growing up in a strict Nigerian (+Southern Baptist) household, there were big expectations placed on little Kenny's shoulders. He tried his best to achieve every goal, and meet everyone's needs. But eventually, at Seminary, it all caught up with him and his dreams came crashing down. Was it possible to work in Church ministry... and be gay?  Not The Same series: Not all Christians are the same. There's an accelerating trend toward religious disaffiliation. But there are some Christians who simply don't fit into a box- who take their own faith seriously, and actively question the beliefs and practices of the U.S. Evangelical church. Those who would like to attend church services but can't find one that “fits” them, right where they're at. This series is their stories. Stories of harm at the hands of the church, disillusionment, and the journey to redeem themselves, and maybe, the church.  Songs: Never Was In Love With You and Into The Sky by Kenny O

Part 5: The Good Church Girl Tiffany was always the good church girl, singing in the choir, playing handbells, winning Sword Drills. Growing up with no "secular" television, movies or music. Then she watched Pretty Woman and everything went downhill. Just kidding! Actually, she went to Seminary and discovered that the Bible didn't say what she thought it did. Not The Same series: Not all Christians are the same. There's an accelerating trend toward religious disaffiliation. But there are some Christians who simply don't fit into a box- who take their own faith seriously, and actively question the beliefs and practices of the U.S. Evangelical church. Those who would like to attend church services but can't find one that “fits” them, right where they're at. This series is their stories. Stories of harm at the hands of the church, disillusionment, and the journey to redeem themselves, and maybe, the church.  Song: Forgettable and Forever Too by Everybody Duck Song: We Need Love by The Relatives