Audio Tidbits

Communication is an essential skill set in today's complex and fast-moving world, where there is too much information and misinformation. If you don't communicate clearly and effectively, you risk being misinterpreted, overlooked, or even undermined by others. You may lose opportunities, clients, or credibility.But communication is not a single skill. Different situations need different styles, methods, and techniques. For example, how you communicate with your manager may differ from how you communicate with your colleagues, your staff, or your customers. How you communicate in a meeting may differ from how you communicate in an email, a phone call, or a presentation. How you communicate in a crisis may differ from how you communicate in a normal situation.To master the art of communication, you need to learn how to adjust your communication style to different situations and audiences, how to select the best medium and message for your goal, how to listen actively and empathetically, how to give and get feedback, how to deal with conflict and hard conversations, how to convince and motivate others, and how to communicate with confidence and professionalism.To communicate effectively in different situations, you need to pay attention to the following factors:Your goal: What do you want to achieve by communicating? Do you want to inform, persuade, motivate, inspire, or entertain? Your goal will shape your message, your tone, and your delivery method.Your audience: Who are you communicating with? What are their needs, interests, expectations, and preferences? How much do they know about the topic? How will they respond to your message? Your audience will determine your level of formality, your language choice, and your communication style.Your situation: What is the setting or environment in which you are communicating? How formal or informal is it? How urgent or important is it? How much time and space do you have? Your situation will influence your communication channel, your medium, and your format.For example, suppose you want to communicate a new policy change to your team. Depending on the factors above, you may choose different ways to communicate:If your goal is to inform your team of the details and reasons of the policy change, your audience is familiar with the topic and open to the change, and your situation is a regular team meeting, you may choose to communicate verbally in a clear and concise way, using examples and explanations to illustrate your points.If your goal is to persuade your team of the advantages and necessity of the policy change, your audience is doubtful or opposed to the change, and your situation is a written report, you may choose to communicate in a logical and persuasive way, using facts and evidence to back up your arguments, and addressing possible objections and concerns.If your goal is to motivate your team to carry out the policy change, your audience is diverse and varied in their knowledge and attitude, and your situation is a presentation, you may choose to communicate in an emotional and inspirational way, using stories and anecdotes to relate to your audience, and emphasizing the positive outcomes and rewards of the change.As you can see, communication is not a simple task, but a complex and dynamic process that requires careful planning, preparation, and execution. By mastering the art of communication, you can achieve your goals, build your relationships, and improve your results. Communication Style One of the key factors that affects how you communicate is your communication style. Your communication style is the way you express yourself, interact with others, and behave in different situations. Your communication style reflects your personality, your preferences, and your emotions. There are many ways to categorize communication styles, but one common model is based on four dimensions: assertiveness, responsiveness, structure, and openness.

A Guide to Making the Right Decision -- Learn how to weigh the pros and cons of leaving your current job and find out what factors to consider before making a move. Why You Might Want to Quit Your Job There are many reasons why you might feel unhappy or dissatisfied with your current job. Maybe you are bored, stressed, underpaid, overworked, or unappreciated. Maybe you have a toxic boss, a hostile work environment, or a lack of career growth opportunities. Maybe you have a passion or a dream that you want to pursue outside of your current field. Whatever the reason, you might be tempted to quit your job and look for something better. Why You Might Want to Stay in Your Job However, quitting your job is not always the best solution. There are also many benefits and advantages of staying in your current job, especially if you have a stable income, a good reputation, a supportive network, or a valuable skill set. Quitting your job might mean losing these benefits and facing new challenges, such as finding a new job, adjusting to a new work culture, learning new skills, or dealing with financial insecurity. Therefore, before you quit your job, you should consider the potential risks and consequences of leaving your current position. - Do a SWOT analysis of your current job and potential alternatives. A SWOT analysis is a tool that helps you identify the strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats of a situation. You can use it to evaluate your current job and compare it with other options. For example, you can list the advantages and disadvantages of staying or leaving, the possible outcomes and risks of each choice, and the factors that influence your decision. - Make a list of your values, interests, and skills. Sometimes, quitting your job is not only a matter of money or satisfaction, but also a matter of alignment with your personal and professional goals. You can use a list of your values, interests, and skills to assess how well your current job matches your preferences and aspirations. For example, you can ask yourself questions like: What are the most important things for me in a job? What do I enjoy doing and what do I want to learn? What are my strengths and areas of improvement? - Consider the timing and consequences of quitting your job. Quitting your job can have an impact on your financial situation, your career prospects, your relationships, and your health. Therefore, you should consider the timing and consequences of quitting your job before you make a final decision. For example, you can think about: How long will it take to find a new job? How will quitting affect my income, expenses, and savings? How will quitting affect my reputation, network, and references? How will quitting affect my family, friends, and colleagues? How will quitting affect my mental and physical well-being? - Seek alternative solutions to quitting your job. Sometimes, quitting your job is not the only or the best option to improve your situation. There may be other ways to address the issues or problems that are making you unhappy or dissatisfied. Therefore, you should seek alternative solutions to quitting your job before you decide to leave. For example, you can try to: Change your attitude or perspective towards your job. Find ways to cope with stress, boredom, or frustration. Seek new challenges, responsibilities, or projects. Look for opportunities to grow, learn, or advance. Request a transfer, a relocation, or a sabbatical. Take a break, a vacation, or a leave of absence. How to Decide Whether to Quit or Stay The decision to quit or stay in your job is a personal one that depends on your individual goals, values, and circumstances. However, there are some steps you can take to help you make a more informed and rational decision. Here are some tips to help you decide whether to quit or stay in your job: • Make a list of the pros and cons of quitting and staying in your job...

Have you ever given any thought to how guide dogs for the blind are trained? This episode of the podcast explains the four primary stages of the two-year process. It is audio only, so please press play and learn.

The Other Other Candidate is a political discussion with a twist that is best experienced. Just press play and listen.

Consider this argument reduced here to three chapters. It has been going on for days and weeks in long form and is condensed here to highlight the conflict. We have two intelligent, well informed people who grew up together but who have developed irreconcilable and opposing world views and political positions. They represent what we know as polarizing views. They each are committed to their perspective and see no compromise or middle ground. Chapter One "You can't be serious, Jake. You're voting for Smith?" Lisa asked incredulously, staring at her brother across a table at their neighborhood coffee house. "Yes, I am. And you should too, if you care about freedom and personal responsibility," Jake replied, his voice rising. "Freedom? Responsibility? Smith is a selfish, greedy, and corrupt politician who only cares about himself and his cronies. He wants to cut taxes for the rich, slash social programs, and deregulate everything. "That's a bunch of lies, Lisa. Smith is a visionary leader who understands that the best way to grow the economy and create opportunities is to let people keep more of their hard-earned money, reduce government interference, and unleash the power of the free market. He respects the Constitution, the rule of law, and the rights of the individual. He's the only one who can stand up to the global threats and defend our national interests," Jake countered, his eyes flashing. Chapter Two "You're living in a fantasy world, Jake. The free market is a myth. It's rigged by the corporations and the billionaires who exploit the workers, the consumers, and the natural resources. They pollute the air, the water, and the land, and they don't pay their fair share of taxes. They buy off the politicians and the media, and they spread misinformation and propaganda. They're the ones who are threatening our democracy and our security," Lisa said, her voice trembling. "You're the one who's deluded, Lisa. The corporations and the billionaires are the ones who create jobs, innovation, and wealth. They're the ones who invest in research, development, and education. They're the ones who support charities, the arts, and culture. They're the ones who are making the world a better place. They're the ones who deserve our gratitude and admiration, not our envy and resentment," Jake said, his voice firm. "How can you be so blind, Jake? Don't you see the inequality, the injustice, and the suffering that Smith's policies will cause? Don't you care about the common good, social welfare, and human dignity? Don't you value the community, solidarity, and cooperation? Don't you believe in government, democracy, and public service?" Lisa asked, her voice pleading. "How can you be so naive, Lisa? Don't you see the inefficiency, the waste, and the corruption that Jones's policies will cause? Don't you care about individual liberty, personal choice, and moral autonomy? Don't you value competition, merit, and achievement? Don't you believe in the market, personal freedom, and self-reliance?" Jake asked, his voice challenging.Chapter Three "We're not going to agree on this, Jake. You're too stubborn and too brainwashed. You've been listening to too much Fox News and too many right-wing podcasts. You've been reading too many conservative books and too many libertarian blogs. You've been influenced by too many of your friends and too many of your colleagues. You've lost your sense of reality and your sense of compassion," Lisa said, her voice sad. "We're not going to agree on this, Lisa. You're too gullible and too indoctrinated. You've been watching too much CNN and too many left-wing documentaries. You've been reading too many progressive magazines and too many socialist newsletters. You've been influenced by too many of your professors and too many of your activist friends. You've lost your sense of logic and your sense of justice," Jake said, his voice bitter.

Waiting: “Waiting for the fish to bite or waiting for wind to fly a kite. Or waiting around for Friday night or waiting perhaps for their Uncle Jake or a pot to boil or a better break or a string of pearls or a pair of pants or a wig with curls or another chance. Everyone is just waiting.” Is Dr. Seuss right? Are you just waiting? If so, Larry McMurtry had this observation for you, “If you wait, all that happens is that you get older.” You may do well to recall the words of Hazel Lee, “I held a moment in my hand, brilliant as a star, fragile as a flower, a tiny sliver of one hour. I dripped it carelessly, Ah! I didn't know, I held opportunity.” William James' advice is worth pondering since you are just waiting and don't have much to do anyway, “To change one's life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly. No exceptions.” So you aren't sure you want to change your life? You are fine with doing nothing? Bill Watterson has found a small glitch with that strategy. “There's never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” Ruth Ann Schabacker said, “Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons.” However you decide to deal with just waiting and its glitches, Friedrich Nietzsche was nonetheless right, “When one has a great deal to put into it a day has a hundred pockets.” Surely one of those pockets holds a special surprise, just for you. Waisted Potential: Sometimes the truth isn't very complicated. Achieving personal excellence is a case in point. Michael Jordan said, “You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” Ralph Waldo Emerson echoed the theme, “Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.” Bruce Barton also understood the key to excellence, “Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance.” Mignon McLaughlin likely took the idea too far toward universal incompetence when he said, “We are all such a waste of our potential, like three-way lamps using one-way bulbs.” Even so, he did have a point. Most people stop far short of exhausting their potential. Thomas Edison was definitely right when he said, “If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves.” There are doubtless many reasons for wasted potential, but “Chiefly the mold of a man's fortune is in his own hands,” as Francis Bacon counseled. “Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be. Brothers and Sisters: There is a Vietnamese Proverb that says, “Brothers and sisters are as close as hands and feet.” Although this isn't universally true, it should be. As Susan Scarf Merrell said, “Our brothers and sisters are there with us from the dawn of our personal stories to the inevitable dusk.” Marian Sandmaier added, “A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self.” Yes, “Our siblings push buttons that cast us in roles we felt sure we had let go of long ago…. It doesn't seem to matter how much time has elapsed or how far we've traveled.” Despite this truth from Jane Mersky Leder, “Children of the same family, the same blood, with the same first associations and habits, have some means of enjoyment in their power, which no subsequent connections can supply …” Even so, “To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” A warm “Thank you,” to Clara Ortega for reminding us. If this simple truth slips your mind, Pamela Dugdale is here to refresh your memory, “Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite ofte...

Children: “I love America more than any other country in this world; and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually.” These words from James Baldwin may capture the essence of being a responsible American. Adlai Stevenson added to this essence when he said, “When an American says that he loves his country, he means not only that he loves the New England hills, the prairies glistening in the sun, the wide and rising plains, the great mountains, and the sea. He means that he loves an inner air, an inner light in which freedom lives and in which a man can draw the breath of self-respect.” “How often we fail to realize our good fortune in living in a country where happiness is more than a lack of tragedy.” As President Clinton observed, “There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.” “What we need are critical lovers of America - patriots who express their faith in their country by working to improve it.” We can start this work by focusing on the wisdom of Walter Lippmann, “We are quite rich enough to defend ourselves, whatever the cost. We must now learn that we are quite rich enough to educate ourselves as we need to be educated;” and that education must include all of our children, as they need to be educated. Only educating most of our children is not nearly good enough, especially if you are the child who is still being left behind. Angels: “If a man is not rising upwards to be an angel, depend upon it, he is sinking downwards to be a devil.” What do you think about this pronouncement from Samuel Taylor Coleridge? If you are skeptical about this angel thing, consider what George Elliot said, “The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone.” OK, you may still see nothing but sand and are too busy to rise upwards to be an angel. Besides, you've never seen an angel and doubt if anyone else has either. Well, it's just like James Russell Lowell said, “All God's angels come to us disguised.” Voltaire added, “It is not known precisely where angels dwell - whether in the air, the void, or the planets. It has not been God's pleasure that we should be informed of their abode.” Nonetheless, “Angels descending, bring from above, echoes of mercy, whispers of love.” It's like Jean Paul Richter told us, “The guardian angels of life fly so high as to be beyond our sight, but they are always looking down upon us.” “O welcome, pure-eyed Faith, white-handed Hope, Thou hovering angel, girt with golden wings!” Anger: There is a French Proverb that says, “Anger is a bad counselor.” Although anger compels you to action, it's like Benjamin Franklin warned, “Anger and folly walk cheek by jowl.” Will Rogers put it this way, “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing;” and Robert G. Ingersoll like this, “Anger blows out the lamp of the mind.” Should a Korean Proverb be more your style, try this one, “If you kick a stone in anger, you'll hurt your own foot.” Wherever in the world you seek your wisdom, indulging in anger is a major no-no. Even Horace gave it a thumbs-down, “Anger is short-lived madness.” Ambrose Bierce said, “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” OK, go ahead and lose your temper if you must; but at least take a quick count to 10 as you “consider how much more you often suffer from your anger and grief, than from those very things for which you are angry and grieved.”

A Tapestry of Life In the last episode of Audio Tidbits, I discussed Noveling: The New Self-Help. My point was that most of our personal and interpersonal issues are due to mismatches between our roles and the characters we play in the ongoing novel of our lives. Experiences like depression, stress, anxiety and so on are little more than our minds and bodies telling us that there is one or more mismatches. The problem is not us. Rather it is being in the wrong role or needing to play the wrong character in our story. I suggest you revisit that episode for more detail; but I am continuing the exploration of noveling here. I asked AI to consider Noveling as an alternative to the usual psychological approach to understanding our life stories and how we are or are not coping. That is what I am sharing with you in this episode of Audio Tidbits: An AI take on Noveling in three chapters. Let's consider the expanded perspective together. Chapter 1: The Novel of Life Gary (That would be me.) was a man of wisdom and experience, an 80-year-old PhD who had spent his life immersed in the intricacies of human behavior. He had worked in mental health, family services, relationships, management, and leadership, gaining a deep understanding of the complexities of the human mind and heart. One day, as Gary sat in his study surrounded by books and papers, he had a revelation that changed his perspective on life forever. He had always seen life as a novel, with characters, scenes, and action unfolding over time. But he realized that the psychological issues people faced - anxiety, depression, frustration - were often a result of a mismatch between their character and role in any given scene. Gary pondered this idea for days, turning it over in his mind like a puzzle waiting to be solved. He began to see how our interactions with others were like the plot twists in a novel, shaping and changing our characters in unforeseen ways. And he understood that we could not change our character role without affecting the other characters in our story, sometimes in ways we could not predict. It was a revelation that broke the stalemate in Gary's mind, opening up a new way of understanding the world and the people in it. He saw that life was not just a series of individual stories, but a vast interconnected novel where each character played a crucial role in the unfolding narrative. As Gary delved deeper into this new insight, he began to see the patterns and connections that bound us all together. He saw how our perceptions and beliefs shaped our actions and interactions, creating a web of relationships that spanned time and space. Gary shared his newfound wisdom with those around him, sparking conversations and debates that challenged the way people thought about themselves and others. He listened to their stories, absorbing the nuances and complexities of their lives, and he offered his guidance and support with a gentle hand and a kind heart. And as Gary continued on his journey of discovery, he realized that the novel of life was not just a story to be told, but a tapestry to be woven together with love, compassion, and understanding. And he knew that he had only just begun to scratch the surface of the intricate and beautiful tale that lay before him. Chapter 2: The Journey Begins Gary sat in his study, deep in thought, trying to piece together his revelation from the night before. The idea that life was like a novel was not a new concept, but the realization that there was a deeper way to understand it had struck him like a bolt of lightning. He decided to reach out to his old friend, Dr. Helen Richards, a renowned psychologist, to discuss his newfound insight. Dr. Richards was intrigued by Gary's revelation and agreed ...

Let's dive into the fascinating world of noveling, the cutting-edge self-help tool that's redefining the way we cope with life's challenges. Imagine having a personal guide, a kind of narrative compass, that helps us navigate the intricate stories of our life. That's what noveling is all about. At the heart of noveling is the understanding that our lives are woven from countless stories —stories of triumph, struggle, joy, and heartache. These narratives shape our perceptions and, in many ways, dictate how we confront obstacles. But here's the twist: sometimes, the very stories we tell ourselves can become barriers, preventing us from seeing the full spectrum of possibilities and solutions at our disposal. noveling steps in as a transformitive tool by helping us to unravel these complex narratives. It's like having a mirror that reflects not just our outer selves but the inner tapestry of our thoughts and emotions. By engaging through noveling, we start to see the underlying patterns and "rules" that govern our stories. These aren't just arbitrary guidelines; they're the principles and beliefs that underpin our actions and reactions. Think of it as being handed the pen in the story of our life. noveling empowers us to question, "Why am I reacting this way? What plot twists have led me here?" It's about recognizing that, while we can't always control the storyline, we have the power to shape our character's journey. What's truly revolutionary about noveling is its role in mental wellness and self-improvement. In a world where traditional coping mechanisms can sometimes fall short, noveling offers a refreshing, narrative-based approach to self-help. It encourages us to become active authors of our stories, rather than passive characters swept along by the plot. In embracing noveling, we learn to navigate our lives with a new sense of agency and purpose, understanding that every challenge is an opportunity for character development and every setback, a plot twist leading to new growth. We don't have just one story. We are the product of many stories. Along with shifting from story to story over time, we have participated in many stories at the same time in days gone by and have key roles in multiple stories today. Our stories mostly blend and mix more or less smoothly but occasionally clash and become incompatible. If things are not going well for us, let's stop with the something is wrong with us notion. Although we perform well most of the time, in most of our stories, sometimes a story and our role in it is just not working for us. That should not be interpreted as something wrong with us. Right now, it is little more than being in a story we would do better not to be in, having a role that isn't working for us, or not understanding the role well enough to pull it off. An element constrains our ability to quickly resolve issues with one or more of our stories and our roles in them. Our stories are not all separate and distinct. We can't always make changes with respect to this or that story without causing unwanted or unintended disruption to others of our stories. We don't need to fix us or fix someone else in our story. Help for us comes in terms of changing or rewriting our stories on the one hand or changing or rewriting our roles on the other. Either would be relatively easy were it not that we aren't the only people in our stories and we usually can't change or rewrite one of our stories without affecting other stories – ours and those of other people in our stories. The story of noveling will be continued in future posts and episodes. For now, give some thinking time to any of your stories that are not working for you and to the story's plot line and your roll. What is the issue with one or both elements causing the story not to work for you. Just keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with you. The problem is with the story line or your role. Help will come with rewriting or recasting the st...

Who drives you up the wall? The frustration factor comes up for all of us now and then. Mainliners are among the most frustrating of the frustrating elite. Listen and learn how to deal with the mainliners of the world.

The Truth About People: All people at all times have needs, problems, and vulnerabilities beyond their individual capacity to cope. That applies to me and applies to you. Fortunately, many if not most people are more or less self-sufficient. They have the means and resources to assure that their needs are met. They can normally resolve their problems. They can manage their vulnerabilities. Even so, they still require services and resources controlled by others. Of course, the ability of people to manage, to cope with their reality, varies a lot depending where in the world they are and on local circumstances. Some of us are far better off than others of us. And therein lies the question. What level of responsibility do any of us have to provide for those of us who are unable to manage, unable to individually cope with our reality? This same truism operates at levels beyond individual people. It's a fact of life for families, organizations, and communities. It's true for business from one-person enterprises to international corporations. It is a daily reality for governments from home owner associations to nations. At the most fundamental level, the inability to go it alone is the reason why these social, economic, and political constructs exist. The value of collective support, effort, and participation generally exceeds the value of the associated loss of autonomy and personal independence. The Issue: For many reasons and myriad circumstances, Some people and groups of people acquire and control significantly more resources and opportunities than other people. Concurrently, for equally numerous reasons and circumstances, some people neither acquire nor control adequate resources to successfully manage and cope with their reality. Just as this inequity applies to individuals, it also applies to families, communities, businesses, regions, and nations. This fundamental disparity prompts several questions that need answers from each of us, from each community, from each business, from each government, from each nation. • What limits if any should there be on the level or amount of resources and control any one individual, family, community, business, organization, or government may possess? • What if any rules or restrictions should be imposed on any one individual, family, community, business, organization, or government? • What responsibility do individuals, families, communities, businesses, groups, networks, or other entities have to share their resources and control with entities outside their immediate domains? • What authority or power should any government have to restrict, regulate, seize, or enhance the resources or control of people or entities within its jurisdictions? • What responsibility if any does government have to protect people and other entities within its jurisdiction from risks and jeopardies within that jurisdiction – from outside that jurisdiction? • What responsibility if any does government have to compensate for the inability of people and other entities within its jurisdiction to successfully cope with or manage their needs, problems, and vulnerabilities? • What rights and entitlements do people and other entities have that cannot be limited, restricted, or interfered with through government action or inaction? Policy and Politics: The answers to these questions are policy and the process of answering these questions is politics. Regardless of how rational and orderly governance and politics are in principle, they are not exempt from the forces and proclivities present within other entities including families, communities, businesses, other organizations, and among people more generally. Resources and control do not distribute evenly. Some politicians gain more resources and control than others. Some are more successful accruing power and influence than others. Some more successfully sustain their political careers than others.

In this episode of the Leadership Shop Podcast, the series on adaptive leadership continues. Being organized is the first element discussed. This is followed by attention to the importance of timeliness which is followed by one of the key elements in adaptive leadership. Adaptive leaders are never slow to pitch in and do what needs done. Please listen as you enjoy this continuing series.

Do I have a deal for you. If you're like me, you are usually on your best behavior, trying to get along, trying to work things out in an environment that is frequently not nearly as considerate as you. It's enough to make you pull out your hair, if you still have any left from the last time your supervisor came close to driving you to drink. Would you like some techniques and strategies for rocking that boat, for just giving up on all that counting to ten and holding your breath? The Audio Tidbits podcast team has been there too and is here for you with just the advice you have been looking for. We aren't quite ready to encourage you to take the tips seriously but they are here for you the next time you have had it, as they say who are at the end of their rope when it comes to patience and making nice. Please press play, listen and then use your best judgement, if you have any judgement left after having to put up with those people.

In the short-term, "fun" usually does not matter much. You spend time with this or that person and give little thought to it one way or the other. You certainly notice people who are particularly pleasant or especially abrasive; but most people are merely there, doing whatever they do, being whomever they are. In these relationships, you take care not to be unpleasant or abrasive yourself; but "fun" is not a high priority. For the long-haul, though, fun matters. …

Maryanne Mitchell is the office manager for the Koch, James and Hightower law firm. She is meeting with Martin Koch. It is not unusual for Martin to ask her to stop by, but still she gets up tight and nervous whenever he does.   "I am just a born pessimist," she frets to herself, waiting for Martin to start.   He gets immediately down to business. "We seem to have some problems, Maryanne. Generally, things are going smoothly. The snag seems to be with some of the typing and some of the filing along with the billing. What do you think you can do to clean things up a little?"   Maryanne sighs but does not respond.   "What do you think? Is there any hope for it, Maryanne?" Martin asks, trying to relax the discussion.   Finally, the office manager says, "I'm worn out from trying. It is exhausting, trying everything there is to try and people are still not satisfied. I will try to straighten it out, but don't have much hope."   Martin leans toward Maryanne and says, "Maryanne, to tell you the truth, I'm beginning to get some heat about you, about your performance. There is some question about whether you can handle things anymore with the computers and all. I don't know. I think you can do it, but you need to tell me what has to happen to get things straightened up."   Maryanne sits motionless, not saying anything until Martin settles back to outwait her. In a small voice, she reluctantly says, "You'll have to decide for yourself about me. I am working as hard as I can. I've given this firm all I have. Things are a mess around here. I'm a nervous wreck from trying to straighten out everything that goes wrong. Everyone thinks it's all my fault. I'm just one person and can't do it all. Even you think it is all me, now."   Maryanne plays bummed out to perfection. Her main strategy is to get Martin to feel sorry for her.   ●"I am worn out from trying"   ●"It is exhausting, trying everything there is to try and people are still not satisfied"   ●"I have given this firm all I have"   ●"I am just one person"   ●"Even you think it is all me, now"   Let Martin get tough with Maryanne and then give him a guilt check. On a scale from one to ten, he will register at least eight or nine. Maryanne is counting on it.   As an aside, you occasionally see an interesting variation on the theme. The bummed out player makes an alliance with several other players. As a bummed out diad or triad or whatever, the crew supports each other's bummed out patterns. People who play together survive together. They usually describe their shared condition as being burned-out or perhaps demoralized.   Managing Bummed Out Players:   When bummed out is the game, the player neither values nor expects job success. Should it come, it is only serendipity. His personal priority is being protected and being forgiven - in advance - if things go badly. It is this guarantee of immunity that the player works for.   Going at it with a skilled bummed out player is exhausting but is not particularly difficult. Consider first what the dynamics of the play are. The bummed out player is using the technique to avoid responsibility, to get others to back off, and to avoid work or pressure. In a child, the pattern would be called pouting.   It will do little good to talk with the bummed out player about his behavior, but it cannot hurt. At least talking about the problem puts the player on notice that he will not be successful playing the game with you. Whether you talk to the player or not, there are several steps that will be effective over time.   First, simply out wait him. Bring up a problem or issue of concern and then wait for a response other than "bummed out." If necessary, say, "I hear all that. My concern is. . .. I'm waiting for your response to the problem." Patiently go back again and again until an appropriate response comes.   If this does not work, say, "I can see you are not going to deal with this,

The Audio Tidbits Podcast team has collected a series of tidbits incorporating the world's best advice. These life gems are packaged in six episodes that we are sharing with you in the hope that you adopt them as elements in your personal style as you continue to make a difference to people who make a difference to you. This edition of the Audio Tidbits Podcast shares one of those six episodes for your enjoyment and consideration.

Rod has intercepted another transmission by the aliens among us back to their home planet. They find our system of countries rather strange and report about what they call pods and sub pods. They also report on what they see as the world's ongoing war and how nations and groups war over power, control and exchange tokens. They also continue to update the folks at home about their leader who has infiltrated the power elite in the capital city. This report is interesting and very frightening. Listen and come to your own conclusion.

The Audio Tidbits Podcast team has collected a series of tidbits incorporating the world's best advice. These life gems are packaged in six episodes that we are sharing with you in the hope that you adopt them as elements in your personal style as you continue to make a difference to people who make a difference to you. This edition of the Audio Tidbits Podcast shares one of those six episodes for your enjoyment and consideration.

Rod has intercepted another transmission from the aliens among us. This time they are reporting to their home planet. The report includes info about their activities in the capital city including focus on health care and the distribution of exchange tokens. Rod will continue to update you whenever he is successful with intercepting their communications.

What do you think about taking a few minutes to remember Christmas? You haven't forgotten? Relax, close your eyes and try really hard to remember. You may recall that it is really even better than you remembered. You are in for a nice surprise.

Hey fellow Earth humans. To my surprise, the Aliens Amongst Us didn't actually return permanently to their Home Planet. I intercepted them in New Orlins, just hanging out like real people. As you might expect, the setting was pretty noisy and a lot rowdy so listen carefully. The conversation is well worth the extra effort it takes to listen.

Are you a leader or striving to become a leader? If so, it is important to identify your leadership style and to be aware of why you prefer a particular style. As becomes clear, there are alternative and distinct styles and each has its strengths and limitations. The better you understand your style, the more effective you are as you exploit the strengths of your style while compensating for its limitations. Top dog leadership: If this is your style, you value a high level of personal control over and direct management of your followers. You work best with very cooperative followers and have low tolerance for non-compliance. You run a tight ship. Your followers typically defer to your perspective and are eager to do things your way. They tend to compete for your approval and may prioritize getting your blessing over getting the job done. Lead dog leadership: You are a visionary who sets the organizational course. You reject use of power and control, placing your faith in the good will and principled behavior of your followers. You favor followers who function well with minimal supervision and direction and who naturally see the validity of and value in following your vision. Your style is an excellent fit for kindred spirits but is less compatible for those who may occasionally question your vision or who desire more structure and guidance. Your followers may tend to separate into the consonant majority and the small but dissonant minority. Task leadership: Your strength is in getting the job done and depends on having qualified followers who are ready to work. Your followers are expected to bring the necessary expertise to each task and efficiently handle their piece of the project. This works especially well for followers who are expert at what they do and neither need or want direct supervision or involvement beyond their immediate tasks. It works less well for followers whose expertise may not be an exact fit with the current requirement, who value understanding how what they do fits in with the success of the larger organization, or who value social contact and interaction. It also may be less effective in the event the various elements of the enterprise experience minor to major disruption or variance from expectation. … Technical leadership: You know what needs done and how to do it. As the resident expert, your followers need only follow your instruction and direction. Your style is a particularly good fit for inexperienced followers who are eager to improve their skills and demonstrate their value to the organization. It also works well for more experienced followers who are comfortable deferring to superior knowledge and expertise. It may work less well for followers who value more autonomy and want to become experts in their own right, for those who value independence. Motivational leadership: Although you may not be especially charismatic, even a small measure of charisma adds to followers' attraction to you and to their desire to align. Your verbal and interpersonal presence are compelling and interject energy and “want to” as your followers coordinate their energy, interests, and aspirations with yours. This works well for motivating less engaged followers but may pull weaker and less centered followers into blindly following, with a minimal sense of consequences or personal responsibility. Values leadership: Your strength is in showing followers why what they and you do is important, why it matters. This works well for followers whose personal views and priorities are already near alignment with yours. You have a knack for encouraging followers deeper into the fold. Alternatively, followers who are more diverse shy away from your leadership and over time, your organization tends to become more and more homogenized. THE QUIZ: Although a few leaders may be restricted to one or more of the six styles, most blend all, depending on the situation or particular circumstance. Even so,

Have you ever wondered how frustrated people manage to be so frustrating? Well, it requires a set of skills that most people don't have but can develop, with practice. If you aspire to be among the frustrating elite, here is a full dozen of the most useful techniques for totally frustrating people. With time and concentration, even amateurs can become proficient at frustrating most anyone. The only requirement is to creatively expand these techniques to numerous relationships and to add new and innovative techniques as you go along. Read and judge for yourself. 1. Always play it safe; and above all, don't take any chances. If it is not in writing, either get it in writing or refuse to do it until it is in writing. If it is already in writing, ask for clarification. Once you have gotten clarification, check with a few other people to see what their understanding is and then ask for a meeting to discuss the confusion everyone is experiencing. 2. Put most of your time and energy into worrying and hoping nothing changes. When things do change, ask for written procedures and clarification. Once you get clarification, suggest that the changes be put off until everyone has had an opportunity to provide input and to discuss the long-term implications of the changes. After everything has been discussed at least twice, take your sweet old time getting with the new program, letting everyone you talk to know that the changes are causing things to back up and nothing is getting done. 3. Avoid taking responsibility for anything. Certainly don't volunteer and be reluctant even if asked. If you can't avoid it, ask for written instructions and check back often for additional instructions and clarification. If someone tells you, "If you can't handle this, I will find someone who can," you should say, "That's an excellent idea. I really have too many other responsibilities to handle this right now anyway." 4. Don't put up with the quirks and idiosyncrasies of other people. You know how to behave and they should too. If there is anything about them or the way they do things that you know isn't the way people should act, mention it to a few people. Say something like, "I suppose you have heard what people are saying about so-and-so." Not one person in a hundred will resist saying, "No, what?" Now just lay it out, being careful to emphasize that, although you don't feel that way personally, other people are getting pretty fed up with it and that you just want to give everyone a head's up about the problems that are brewing out there. 5. Since someone is going to screw something up sooner or later, you might as well just assume that things are a mess. Even if they seem okay right now, all you need to do is wait around for a while. To be on the safe side, you can bring it up in casual conversations now and then. You need only pick a couple of things that could go wrong since they likely will; and if not, something equally bad will happen. As sincerely as you can, say something like this, "Have you thought about the consequences of this or that happening? Don't you think we better think this through more carefully and not be so quick to jump into things we don't thoroughly understand? We have done that before and it looks like we would learn. I would hate to see us end up with egg on our faces again." (If asked, you can mention most anything that didn't work out at anytime in the past.) Now, when something down-the-road does not work out as expected, and something will not work out, you then only need to say in your most concerned voice, "I was worried that this might happen. I will certainly pitch in and help you with your problem but I'm sure not optimistic. It's too bad things are such a mess around here." 6. Since most people are out for themselves, never take anyone on an "as is" basis. Just assume that what they are saying to you and what they are really thinking are not the same. It will help support your insight into human nature to o...

Our intrepid hunters have tracked the Great Mouse to a remote desert somewhere on the Earth planet where it appears that the Great Mouse may have finally faltered. Will the Great Mouse once more escape or is this the end of the Great Mouse's world? Join me to learn the fate of the Great Mouse.

I'll bet you know that person who always knows what went wrong and who screwed up. It's that same person who is quick to point an accusing finger and let everyone around know that they would have never made such a stupid mistake. Big ego? sure. Insensitive? Definitely. Driving the rest of us up the wall? Absolutely. -- So what to do? Press play for a suggestion.

Hackman, Richard J. Collaborative Intelligence: Using Teams to Solve Hard Problems. San Francisco: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc., 2011. A team is akin to an audio amplifier: whatever comes in, be it Mozart or ear-grating static, comes out louder. To perform well, any team must include members who have the knowledge and skill that the task requires; it must recognize which members have which capabilities; and it must properly weight members' inputs--avoiding the trap of being more influenced by those who have high status or who are highly vocal than by those who actually know what they are talking about. The benefits of teamwork come only when capable people work together interdependently to achieve some collective purpose. Face-to-face teams are indicated when creating a high-quality product requires coordinated contributions in real time from a diversity of members who have complementary expertise, experience, and perspectives. We have seen that the five common types of teams discussed--surgical, coacting, face-to-face, distributed, and sand dune--are appropriate in some task and organizational circumstances, but not in others. The social processes the team uses in carrying out the work enhance members' capability to work together interdependently in the future. An effective team is a more capable performing unit when it has finished a piece of work than it was when the work began. … here is the rub: research has shown that leader behavior makes the most constructive difference for teams that are reasonably well structured and supported in the first place. If a team is poorly composed, has an ambiguous or unimportant purpose, and operates in an organization that discourages rather than supports teamwork, there is no way that a leader's hands-on interventions with that team can turn things around. The six enabling conditions are: creating a real team , specifying a compelling direction or purpose for the team, putting the right number of the right people on the team, specifying clear norms of conduct for team behavior, providing a supportive organizational context, and making competent team-focused coaching available to the team. If what holds members tightly together is a shared wish to maintain harmony and good interpersonal relationships, the risks of dysfunction are high. But if cohesiveness stems from a shared commitment to accomplishing the team's task, it can unleash members' energies and talents to generate synergies that never would be seen in a loosely bounded group. One way to lessen the likelihood of purpose-related problems in managerial and professional teams is to establish, as a team's first and most important task, the development of an agreed-upon statement of the team's main purposes. Someone who is internally motivated feels great when he or she has done well, and feels bad when things have gone poorly. It is those internally generated feelings that fuel motivation, not extrinsic rewards or prods from a supervisor. …leaders often put too many people on the team in the first place, either to make sure the team has enough members to accomplish the work or to include at least one representative of every constituency with a stake in the outcome. The perverse result can be such an excess of members than the team has little chance to perform at a level that will please those same constituencies. Psychological safety is a shared belief that the team is a place where one can take personal and interpersonal risks. Members of psychologically safe teams are better able to admit mistakes, more likely to ask for help from teammates, more open about what they do and do not know, and more likely to learn from the expertise of others. The degree to which teams actually use the tools available to them, however, depends considerably on how those tools are made available. There is a world of difference between "We've put some great new software on your desktops that you and your teammat...

Hey folks, there is something I think needs clarified. Since it is going to become an issue sooner or later, we might as well get it out in the open today.   World UFO day was a while back and knowing that got me to thinking. If aliens are smart enough to get from wherever they were to where we are, they are also probably smart enough to do that without our knowing about it. They could easily be among us without our having a clue.   Would they look like aliens? Of course not. They would simply materialize in ways that let them blend in transparently. We might never know that there were aliens among us.   Our only hope is that there are tells that we can detect and then correctly interpret. Tells are little behavioral clues that let us know that all is not what it purports to be. Gamblers talk about poker players showing tells that give away what is going on behind that poker face. Some people claim to be able to read the tells that let them know when someone is lying. It seems likely that aliens would have inadvertent tells that let us know that they are among us but not one of us.   The first issue is just how we can be sure who is and who is not an alien. Try glancing around when you are near other people. Do you notice anything strange or peculiar about them or their behavior? Concentrate on picking up on any tells. Is there anything that gives you second thought?   As a place to start, limit your investigation to people you know well. Those are the people with whom you are the most familiar and in whom you are most likely to recognize alien tells. You are aware of all of their human traits, their universally human behavior. What you are looking for is anything that causes you to wonder if they are actually human.   I don't know for sure what an alien tell might be but suspect it looks like a momentary disconnect, an instance of weirdness, a since that the other person is not quite with us, is not quite one of us. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. What's more, I think it is highly likely that you have picked up on these little tells slipping out with people you know but have not yet classified them as alien. You have just wondered if that person is for real.   They may be for real but maybe not. The unsettling truth is that they may be an alien trying to pass as human. The alien among us may be in the room with us right now or merely an image on TV or YouTube. He or she may be sleeping on the street or pretending to lead a nation. There is no way to know with certainty who is for real and who is only posing. Our only hope is to learn to spot the tells.   I wish I had an answer to the pressing question. I know I am human but are you? My challenge is to figure out the answer to that simple question. In turn, the challenge is yours as well. How can you know if I am human or simply posing.

Sure, it matters what you say, but not as much or as often as you may think. Press and pick one of these things to say and then just say it the next time you are at a loss for words. If you are questioned, just mention that it was just something you were thinking about. By the time you get another turn, you will likely come up with an ok comment.

James is here to assure you that enthusiasm is the key to getting fired as well as to avoiding the employment ax. It's your choice and your opportunity. Which will it be?

From New Year’s resolutions to wishful thinking, we may have big plans to change, to do better. Perhaps we are so arrogant we plan to…

This episode of the Leadership shop Podcast shows you the elements of proactive leadership. It gives you the opportunity to consider your approach to leadership and evaluate the extent to which you are a proactive leader. The members of the podcast team take turns presenting the elements so please listen and decide how your leadership fits with proactive leadership.

Give people clear, frequent, and accurate feedback. This unusually complex strategy starts with being as quick to tell people what they have done right as you are to tell them what they have done wrong. That does not sound difficult, does it? What if the order is reversed though? Be as quick to tell people what they have done wrong as you are to tell them what they have done right. Now it sounds odd. It seems like I am suggesting that equal attention needs to be given to both what's right and what's wrong. There you go. That is exactly the point. It is not necessary to go into a lot of detail about leaders who only relate to team members in terms of problems and things they have done wrong. They also point fingers and know every problem is someone else's fault. Their major activity is finding someone, anyone to criticize or blame. You are also well-aware of leaders who appropriately point out problems but seldom point out good work. It is not unusual to see the compliment criticism balance favoring criticism. … I certainly recommend that leaders carefully attend to keeping the balance in balance. For a proactive leader, finding and keeping the balance is based on taking it for granted that people are trying to do a good job. They do not intentionally screw things up, make mistakes, or perform below their abilities. Even more, most everyone on the team consciously and intentionally gives the little extra that moves good work into the excellent category. Their commitment to excellence is a major reason why they are on the team, and excellence is what you get from them, the first time, on time, every time. Here is the rub. With highly successful teams, the expectation is that team members perform at the excellent level every time, no exceptions, no excuses. People are extraordinarily good at what they do. With teams like this, compliments and praise are plentiful and lavish. Even when people are not being complimented directly, they receive indirect compliments and praise from customers and others in the external environment. They are among the best and they know it. It helps to attend to direct praise and acknowledgment of superior performance, but this is merely an extra quality touch in an already self-reinforcing environment. If a team is not doing well, compliments and praise will not, by themselves, help much. If it is doing well, additional praise and compliments will not add much to its success. The real issue here is criticism. Of course, a proactive leader praises publicly and only criticizes in private. He also is very careful to assure his criticism is an exact fit with the problem or issue, not overdoing it or under doing it. Criticism, no matter how well it is managed, introduces a negative element into a fast-moving, stressful environment where people are already on edge and pushing themselves to their limits. The affect is the person who is criticized and those who are coincidentally in the immediate environment become apprehensive and less productive, at least for the moment. The point is that criticism is always temporarily counterproductive. For this reason, a proactive leader is quick to praise but very cautious when criticizing anyone, for any reason. Clear, accurate, and frequent feedback is certainly important. a proactive leader knows as well that providing constructive and effective criticism is the most delicate area of the feedback balancing act. If this feedback is inappropriate or excessive, the person will overreact or withdraw and the outcome is often worse than the original problem. If criticism is not forthcoming when it is appropriate or is not focused enough, the problem or issue persists and likely will get worse. Getting criticism just right, the first time, on time, every time is critical for any leader and an essential ingredient of a winning team. As if the challenge of getting criticism right, the first time, on time, every time were not enough by itself,

Hogan, Robert. Personality and the Fate of Organizations. New York: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., 2007. …all managerial jobs have one important feature in common: They help accomplish the work of an organization through other people. This means that managers are responsible for the performance of their staffs. The word leadership has two meanings. On the one hand, leadership refers to a certain kind of position in an organization--a leadership position. On the other hand, leadership refers to a kind of performance--behaving in a leader-like way. By definition, managers are in positions of leadership; whether they exercise it appropriately is another question. The published literature on leadership is immense--actually overwhelming--and growing daily. Effective leaders tend to be resilient and handle stress well, they promote a vision and develop strategies to translate the vision into reality, they solve tactical and strategic problems, they set high goals and work hard to achieve them, they project a sense of self-confidence, they build relationships, they build teams, they follow through on their commitments and treat people fairly, and they plan and organize work. These attributes are no guarantee of success, but they improve the odds of a person being able to build a high-performing team that achieves results. …bad management is the primary cause of employee dissatisfaction--the best predictor of employee dissatisfaction is poor leadership. …bad managers create turnover--people do not quit organizations, they quit bad bosses. … …perceived integrity--keeping one's word, fulfilling one's promises, not playing favorites, not taking advantage of one's position, and not claiming special privileges. …visionary—they [leaders] can explain why the team's activity is important and how it contributes to the future success and well-being of the members. Leaders are leaders are leaders, even when they are bad. …the primary task of leaders is to build a group, persuade the individuals to work together, and then maintain their performance. Leaders with imagination can project a vision that participants find attractive, morally compelling, and worthy of allegiance, whereas incompetent leaders unwittingly project visions that are distasteful to people. …leaders must be perceived as having integrity, decisiveness, competence, vision, persistence, and humility.

Where and When are Leadership Connections Initiated As Figure 3 in Ecological Human Services Management shows, leadership connections can be planned or unplanned, as represented in the left column of the figure. Additionally, they can be Leadership Team member initiated or stakeholder initiated, as represented in the middle and right columns of the figure. The result is leadership connections that are planned and member initiated, planned and stakeholder initiated, unplanned and member initiated, and unplanned and stakeholder initiated. If the Leadership Team restricts its membership to people who do well on the earlier Leadership Team membership assessment, the four types of connection initiations shown in Figure Three are manageable for the members. They are comfortable with all four types. Let's expand on the four initiation types. Planned initiations are those where either the member or the stakeholder decides ahead of time to initiate a connection and then pursues the connection. This may start with a letter or phone call, but may as commonly start with either the member or stakeholder planning ahead of time to introduce himself or herself at a meeting or other gathering. A few cautions are in order when considering planned connections. The Leadership Team member should initiate the connection personally. If possible, do not have someone else make the arrangements. For example, do not have a secretary, co-worker, or another stakeholder arrange for the first meeting. If initiating the connection by letter or phone, do not ask the stakeholder to contact you. For example, if you leave a message on voice mail, let the person know who you are, briefly why you are calling, and that you will try again at another time. You can leave your number at the end, letting the person know returning the call is fine if they prefer. Just do not give any hint you expect them to call you. €“ When calling anyone, take a minute to decide before you place the call exactly what you will say, if you need to leave a voice message. Do not wait until you hear the beep to think about what you want to say. Additionally, never initiate a connection by email. In general, avoid emails with stakeholders all together, unless the other person sends an email to you. Even then, a phone call is better and a face-to-face contact is better yet. Email is just too impersonal for leadership connections. Also, do not stop by someone's home or office without an appointment, expecting the person to meet with you. This is both rude and inconsiderate. … Further, do not call a stakeholder on his or her cell phone or send him a text message, unless he has given you the number personally and asked you to use the number. Do not send text messages to stakeholders unless you are replying to a text message the stakeholder sent to you. For both planned and unplanned connection initiations, there is one exception to the above caution about personally initiating a connection. When at a meeting or other gathering, asking someone you already know to introduce you to someone they already know is usually acceptable to the potential stakeholder. You can then say as part of the introduction you were hoping you would get a chance to talk with him or her. This lets him know you have an agenda beyond the social pleasantry and starts your relationship on an open and honest basis and clarifies the role of the person making the introductions. If it is not awkward under the circumstances, ask the potential stakeholder if you can call him later to arrange a time to talk more. Do not try to pursue your agenda then unless the potential stakeholder specifically asks you to do so. Just give him your card and call later, if he agrees. As we saw earlier, good Team members are never pushy.

Are you a real writer? I wish I were but the truth is that I am merely a potato chip kind of guy. Listen in…

The How To Matter podcast team has a new approach for sharing ideas about how to matter to people who matter to us, how to…

Micah is relaxing beside a crackling fire in the fireplace pondering about life and living as he enjoys doing now and then. Let’s listen in…

James has a special episode of the Leadership Shop Podcast for us. Regardless of our take on who is and is not a leader, whatever…

Have you given any thought about being a guru? Lee thought it over and is giving it a try. He shares the secret to being…

James explores whether leadership has much to do with getting people to do things they would not otherwise do as some “experts” suggest. James concludes…

What have you learned from life and living. If you have a fewminutes, join Micah while he shares a few insights he has picked up…

Are you climbing the ladder of success? If so, you may do well to take a few minutes to hear what James has to share.

What do you want to change? Who do you want to change? It would be interesting if we could actually change things and perhaps even…

This is a little verse from Ivy who knows being Ivy is one thing with which she is definitely down.

This is a fun tidbit for kids and for the child in all of us.

Are you familiar with the idea that leaders produce more leaders? In this podcast, James focuses on that notion and points out that leaders do…

I am sure you are pretty smart, especially since you have decided to go Skidooing with me. Here is the question? Are you as smart…

We all know that character is a quality well worth cultivating but how that interplays with leadership is somewhat less than obvious. In this podcast,…

Have you been there and done that? What is your take on going back and doing it again? It’s all a matter of perspective. Listen…

Talking Tommy is the newest country star from “down under.” If you want to be a country star, Tommy tells you how to write your…

This is the first episode of Audio TidBits Podcast. To get the podcast started, I am sharing a little audio drama that was developed as…