Awareness Addicts Show

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes As I've challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You're already juggling too many balls. Something will have to go … but what? We have to choose our battles. Where will we reap the most benefit from applying our resources? There is a key that we can use to help us sort this out. We're going to apply the Pareto principle as we consider the changes we want to make. We need to identify the actions to take so that we can re-prioritize our life for big results. In this episode, you will: Learn about and understand the 80/20 principle Identify aspects of their lives that require the most dedication and effort to make way for change Set priorities and stick to them Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:12 This article from Fast Company talks about the 80-20 Rule. It says to go beyond the 80-20 rule and talking about time management. 04:59 Aware Appreciation. 07:17 As I've challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You're already juggling too many balls. 07:52 I want to start by helping you understand this 80-20 principle. As I've mentioned earlier, my husband is a mental health counselor. 14:54 It is a bit of a conundrum. We can't just ignore the 80 percent. In fact, as you can see how I demonstrated this, the 80 percent has to be addressed. 17:35 In Episode 16, I talked about Divine Decongestion. Something may have to go to make room in your life for a new and improved experience. 18:25 I'm wondering whether my boyfriend really cares about me. Even when I am crying, he is emotionless. And, when I mirror his behavior back to him, he tells me that I'm not being nice.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes As I’ve challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You’re already juggling too many balls. Something will have to go … but what? We have to choose our battles. Where will we reap the most benefit from applying our resources? There is a key that we can use to help us sort this out. We’re going to apply the Pareto principle as we consider the changes we want to make. We need to identify the actions to take so that we can re-prioritize our life for big results. In this episode, you will: Learn about and understand the 80/20 principle Identify aspects of their lives that require the most dedication and effort to make way for change Set priorities and stick to them Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:12 This article from Fast Company talks about the 80-20 Rule. It says to go beyond the 80-20 rule and talking about time management. 04:59 Aware Appreciation. 07:17 As I’ve challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You’re already juggling too many balls. 07:52 I want to start by helping you understand this 80-20 principle. As I’ve mentioned earlier, my husband is a mental health counselor. 14:54 It is a bit of a conundrum. We can’t just ignore the 80 percent. In fact, as you can see how I demonstrated this, the 80 percent has to be addressed. 17:35 In Episode 16, I talked about Divine Decongestion. Something may have to go to make room in your life for a new and improved experience. 18:25 I'm wondering whether my boyfriend really cares about me. Even when I am crying, he is emotionless. And, when I mirror his behavior back to him, he tells me that I’m not being nice.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Goals can be tricky. There’s a reason why so many abandon their New Year’s resolutions within a few days of the start of the new year. Do you have trouble setting goals and staying motivated all the way to achieving them? As we become aware of the sources of divine discontent in our lives, we may feel compelled to set goals to get the change process started. Effective goals have a comprehensive plan and typically quite a bit of preparation … but they also have another component, which is the driving force. Goals need a big why! In this episode, you will: Learn some of the reasons why goals don’t stick Consider the motivation and drive for achieving goals Anticipate some of the obstacles that may prevent achieving a goal Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:14 This article that I found to work with today was on the Huffington Post. It was titled, “10 Reasons Why We Fail to Achieve Whatever It Is that We’re Trying to Achieve” 04:32 Aware Appreciation. 06:50 Do you have trouble setting goals? And, if you do set goals, is it a challenge to stay motivated all the way to achieving them? As we become aware of the sources of divine discontent in our lives, we may feel compelled to set goals to get the change process started. 07:26 I’m calling this episode “Divine Devotion - Proving Your Commitment.” We talked in episode 10 about failure and how important it is to allow ourselves to fail. 08:43 The really important point that I want to make in this episode is how important it is that you have a clear and big WHY for any change that you are making in your life. You are going to need to refine what you really want. 14:47 Everyone seems to have an opinion about goals. Do they or don’t they work? Should you or shouldn’t you set them? Is there a better alternative? 15:30 When I wake up in the morning, I have really low energy. It’s hard to motivate myself to get out of bed. I find it difficult to express myself freely with the people in my life …

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Do you find yourself complaining regularly about some condition in your life? This may require a bit of internal investigation … also known as applied awareness. When we are repeatedly dealing with a situation that causes us to express dissatisfaction, there is something at work in our subconscious. We are committed to something that we are not consciously aware of. Why would we commit ourselves to something that doesn’t make us happy? In this episode, you will: Make a commitment to changing thought processes that perpetuate negativity Understand the effect that negative thinking has on the mental state Learn new ways to recognize and control thoughts before they wreak havoc Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:40 This particular article I found was on PsychCentral. It talks about the link between negative thinking and depression. 04:37 Aware Appreciation. 06:55 Do you find yourself complaining regularly about some condition in your life? This may require a bit of internal investigation … also known as applied awareness. 07:23 I’m calling this education segment in this episode “Divine Devotion” … proving your commitment. In this case, devotion is what we are devoted to or committed to … 14:16 The next thing then, once we’ve started to examine our own relationship to the experience, is to accept that when these sorts of experiences persist, in essence we’re committed to exactly that. 16:59 This is a concept that separates the wheat from the chaff. It requires a paradigm shift. We must accept that some of the ways we act and react are what we refer to as “trans-rational.” 17:37 Since I was a child, I have felt less than … unimportant. Even when people tell me I'm beautiful, I still find myself thinking of all my “flaws.”

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes What happens when we know we need to let go of something and we resist? We may be able to get away with it for a while. But eventually, the consequences will mount. Taken to the extreme, this demonstrates itself as hoarding. You probably don’t have a diagnosable hoarding problem, but it can still be causing you stress or harm. We’re going to look for ways that hoarding shows up in our lives that we may not initially recognize. It makes developing awareness much more challenging. In this episode, you will: Recognize the ways hoarding affects everyone Learn how to let go of the things that might be holding them back Understand why people tend to accumulate possessions and hold onto unnecessary things Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article from ABC7 in New York talks about the fact that the New York firefighters have been trained to battle not only dangerous fires, but hoarding conditions as well. 04:13 Aware Appreciation. 06:30 What happens when we know we need to let go of something … you name it … and we resist? We may be able to get away with it for a while. But eventually, the consequences will mount. 07:01 As I’ve mentioned previously, hoarding is a real disorder. You may have seen programs on TV where they highlighted somebody who was a hoarder … 11:30 We might call this laziness or procrastination but it can just be a lack of vision. “What am I going to do with it?” 15:05 We all have that drawer or closet (most likely both) that has become a Pandora’s Box of stagnant energy. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not really. 16:00 I live with my family and have been working nonstop to save for my future. They are always asking for money and I don’t feel like I can say, “No.”

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Or, maybe a change was thrust on you … without asking your permission, like the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or a relationship coming to an end. For anyone dealing with change in their life … whether the change you’re dealing with is proactive or reactive, you are going to deal with many of the same issues. When confronted with change, resistance shows up in all sorts of ways. We need to have some tools handy so we can let go gracefully. In this episode, you will: Learn how to handle changes with grace and ease Explore why people resist making changes, especially important ones Identify the thoughts that sabotage the change process Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 I found this article on News-Medical.net. It talks about how women experience higher stress levels from major life events than men. 06:15 Aware Appreciation. 08:33 Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Or, maybe a change was thrust on you … without asking your permission. 09:04 When life presents us with an opportunity to let go, what does it look like when we are in resistance to that? 16:05 How do we let go gracefully? What does this look like? Here’s my ideas that you might apply to help you move through some sort of transition that you are needing to go through. 19:08 Even wanted change is stressful. Most of us lead busy and full lives. Change requires that we add activities and decisions to an already full plate. No wonder we resist! 19:59 I have a habit of making enemies out of people in my mind. I make up stories of what they are thinking about me … especially when I put myself out there publicly.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you ready to release attachments that are not serving you? There is an element of chaos that accompanies change. But even chaos has structure to it. It is orderly in its own way. Our work is to find easy and practical ways to create order … even in the midst of chaos. It will make a difference and soothe the chaotic feeling that accompanies change. Let’s explore some easy and practical ways to create order in the midst of chaos. In this episode, you will: Find ways to better organize their lives Utilize routine and discipline to help create order amid everyday chaos Consider what it means to live an orderly life Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:46 This particular article was in Forbes. It is titled, “Ten Habits of Incredibly Happy People.” It was the result of a study from Northwestern University that measured the happiness levels of regular people … 04:50 Aware Appreciation. 07:07 Are you ready to release attachments that are not serving you? There is an element of chaos that accompanies change. But even chaos has structure to it. 07:40 If we start to consider what it means to live an orderly life, one of the things that comes into my mind is this idea that order equates to almost a military attention to detail … 09:25 This is a great observation that we need to apply in every area of our lives. Routine and discipline do what I like to call “freeing-up mindshare.” 19:01 This is a wonderful opportunity to practice awareness. Are you the type of person who lives a structured life? Or, do you prefer to take things as they come? 19:42 My life consists of always looking over my shoulder. I worry about everything. When the phone rings, I think, “Who died? Or, what’s wrong?”

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If you are feeling like it’s time to make a change, you may be feeling some fear. One of the big reasons we resist change is fear of the unknown. By proactively cutting ties to something we’ve been attached to, we create space for something new to come in. This is sometimes referred to as a vacuum that the universe is on a mission to fill for you. What if the new isn’t an improvement? It’s a valid fear, but we can meet it head on and redirect it … if we don’t allow it to control us. In this episode, you will: Learn to make change to create space for new in their lives Confront the fear of change Become aware of ways life gets cluttered and learn what to do about it Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:47 The article came from a website called Sparefoot.com and it was titled, “How to Get Your Spouse to Get Organized.” Hopefully, you see the problem with this … 08:20 Aware Appreciation. 10:37 Should you proactively cut ties to something you’ve become attached to? If so, it’s going to create space for something new to come in. 11:00 I am going to refer to a concept in this episode called “divine decongestion.” If you look to the definition of congested, it means not breathing easily. 12:05 Sources of clutter don’t have to be just stuff. We can clutter our minds with thoughts or distract ourselves with clutter in the form of … 17:44 Many years ago, I was contemplating leaving the field of professional accounting. In case you didn’t know, I am a CPA and built a successful financial services firm with a partner … 19:18 I have expectations for what my partner should give me. When it doesn’t happen, I am disappointed and blame them for not giving me what I want.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you content with your life just the way it is? What does it mean to be content? The definition of contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. Discontent would then be unhappy and unsatisfied. It’s not really black and white though. We never are really content or completely discontent. Certainly, we can be content in some areas and discontent in other areas simultaneously. Rather than buying into the concept of contentment, we’re going to consider an alternate viewpoint. What if contentment is the trap? Freedom lies in our discontent … or what I like to refer to as Divine Discontent. In this episode, you will: Learn what it means to be divinely discontent Consider what’s missing in their lives that would result in more happiness Appreciate the good in their lives and think about how to grow, improve, and expand those positive aspects Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:41 his particular article that I’m sharing with you today is talking about Hoda, who is on the Today show with Kathie Lee Gifford. 05:28 Aware Appreciation. 07:45 Are you content with your life just the way it is? If your response is, “Sure, but there’s always room for improvement,” you’re human. 08:10 What does it mean to be content? The definition of contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. Discontent would then be unhappy and unsatisfied. 12:14 One of the ways that we start to be open to those potential experiences is to allow ourselves to dream of what we might be, do, or have if we knew we couldn’t fail? 13:48 Developing awareness is the key to accessing divinity. Divine discontent isn’t just avoiding what we don’t want to deal with. 14:43 I was told my job position was eliminated. Then someone from the night shift was given a permanent position on the same shift I was terminated from.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If the objective of good planning is to avoid failure, why bother? Should we just skip the planning and take things as they come? I think we can agree that failure can be quite painful. While you can’t plan for every possibility, planning IS critical to get the most out of every failure. This can be applied to any sort of change of habit that we want to make. In this episode, you will: Learn why planning is important for making changes Prepare for failures and unexpected outcomes Identify the obstacles we anticipate and envision a successful outcome Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:25 I pulled something up from Pyschecentral on the stages of change. I wanted to just talk to you a little bit today about how change happens 06:45 Aware Appreciation. 09:03 One of the reasons we avoid making any significant change in our lives is the fear of failure. Failure can be quite painful. Since it is inevitable . . . 09:33 We often say that this is the most important stage of change, this planning and preparation or determination stage. You may have heard the phrase, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” 15:00 The problem is if we go into it with half-baked plan as enough of those reasons why we can’t do it presents themselves. 18:13 I personally thought it was interesting to couple determination with planning and preparation. That was a new discovery for me 20:00 How do I set goals that actually motivate me to do things I want to do but wouldn’t necessarily focus on otherwise?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If you’re like most humans, failing was discouraged. We would try to hide it, or worse, avoid it by not trying. But, we’re going to learn to celebrate failure. It is failure that precedes growth and development … and success. As you develop awareness, you’re going to have ideas that call you to bigger and better things. If you’re willing to experience some discomfort, the payoff could be HUGE! In this episode, you will: Focus on the dreams you have had and become aware of opportunities Learn what it takes to become proficient in a new activity or hobby Acknowledge what is holding you back from trying something new Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:20 I found this article on the Harvard Business Review talking about strategies to use for learning from failure. This section of the article was really awesome. 06:23 Aware Appreciation. 08:41 If you’re like most humans, failing was discouraged … maybe not even just discouraged, it might have had a big spotlight shown on it that said, “Don’t do this.” 09:20 Why don’t we want to fail? As children, we weren’t afraid to fail. In fact, just to learn to walk we had to be willing to fail a lot. 14:54 It’s time that you acknowledge what holds you back. What your obstacles are really are. 17:35 When I started talking to you about this topic today, one of the lines in the article reminded us that it’s not just discipline but enthusiasm that needs to be applied when we’re examining our failures. 19:23 I wanted to love and risk being intimate but, for some reason, I couldn’t. Why am I repeating these relationship problems?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes In this episode, we’re going to acquaint ourselves with that voice in our heads. Honestly, some of the things it says seem illogical . . . even irrational. It has tremendous power over us, though, if it is allowed to prattle on unchecked. If we give that voice much freedom, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, that voice can actually serve us. But we have to show it who’s boss. In this episode, you will: Develop control over that nagging voice in your head Identify the situations you are most likely to self-sabotage in order to avoid them in the future Learn to engage in positive self-talk to eliminate the negative voice Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:31 There was an article on CNN recently that talked about Uber, if any of you have used Uber . . . 05:02 Aware Appreciation. 07:21 Once we’re starting to make some progress, the voice in your head may get really loud. “Things look great now, but you know that won’t last.” 07:45 How do we recognize this self-sabotage process before it gets some momentum going? 12:52 So, how do you recognize it? How do you begin to cut its power off? First, you prepare in advance. 16:08 One of the ways that we can do this reverse engineering process that I’ve talked to you about is name the voice in your head. 17:48 How do I stay positive even when I feel like I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes When we bump up against our fellow humans and overreact, it consumes a TON of energy. We need to learn to deal with these upsets more efficiently so we can stay focused on what matters. One of the things that we have to consider as we learn to manage our anger and emotions is how to allow passion and enthusiasm to be alive and well, while at the same time not feel like it’s got to turn to anger and bullying. In this episode, you will: • Learn how to react with intention rather than emotion • Understand which triggering experiences create negative reactions • Identify the causes of emotional reactions that escalate negative situations Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:12 I came across this article from Politico Magazine. I thought it was really interesting because today we are talking about managing emotions and anger management. 04:17 Aware Appreciation. 06:36 Why is it so challenging to live life intentionally and “keep our eye on the ball?” 07:05 In the world of mental health counseling, anger management would be more readily called “managing emotional triggers.” 11:43 Beginning to really understand what’s going on here helps us to accept that awareness is going to require a rational brain. 14:43 It is not possible to have any sort of deep awareness when you are triggered and in fight or flight mode. 16:24 Should I tell my parents I’m gay or just keep it to myself to avoid the risk that they will disown me?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes We know change happens. Wouldn't it be nice if change happened on our own terms? I'm not suggesting we can control everything in our lives, but we can certainly be more deliberate as we create the design and blueprint. We are going to become intentional with the big changes we're making. In this episode, you will: Learn to be more intentional in your choices Focus on the desires and goals that are most important in your life Make choices and actions that bring more joy to your life Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:25 The sages of India observed thousands of years ago that our destiny is ultimately shaped by our deepest intentions and desires. 03:44 Aware Appreciation. 06:03 We know change happens. Wouldn't it be nice if change happened on our own terms? 06:25 What does it mean to be intentional anyway? Well, we could probably all agree that it starts with knowing what you want. 11:41 I want us to be able to put them into good use in our lives and make our lives better … sooner rather than later. 14:04 We want things to happen when we want them to happen and we are not willing to wait. 15:10 Why did they even go out together as a family if they weren't going to interact? What do you think? Resources:

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Change is inevitable.  But we do have control over it much of the time ... if we are willing to ignite change intentionally. You may be wondering how to change bad habits or behaviors permanently. And ... with intention. It’s going to require that we accept a bit of discomfort in the short term. We can make the process easier. From the happiness book I mentioned last episode, it's clear that even ill-conceived habits create happy chemicals in the brain.   In this episode, you will: Become aware of damaging behaviors the affect happiness Learn how to increase your happiness by eliminating bad habits Develop awareness of actions you can take to improve your long-term happiness Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:16 As I was doing some research for this episode, I came across an old Chinese proverb that says, "In times of great winds, some build bunkers, others build windmills." 04:12 Aware Appreciation. 06:30 Change is inevitable. But we do have control over it much of the time...if we are willing to ignite change intentionally. 06:58 Let's start by looking at why we would even consider changing. 12:41 As we make change intentionally, we embrace the fact that change happens. Life is going to happen. 14:30 Sometimes we want to change just for the sake of changing. Just because we are bored and things have been the same in our own minds for too long. 15:56 Why is it so easy to keep going back to our old bad habits even after we've experienced the positive change temporarily?

How happy are you? If you’re thinking it’s a long way from where you are right now to happy, I’m going to challenge you to try a new approach. If we want to learn to manufacture happiness, examining what I refer to as “newness drug” can provide some much needed insight. Let’s take control over our happiness factory. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:40 In this particular research study conducted by Rutgers University in the US, they found that the presence of flowers triggers positive emotions and heightens feelings of satisfaction. 04:40 Aware Appreciation. 06:59 Have you wondered why it feels so good to be in love . . . especially new love? 07:53 “Are you happy?” Or, “What makes you happy?” Can you answer that question? 08:49 One of the reasons we practice aware appreciation is because we keep adding more “feel good” thoughts as we work through the exercise. 18:46 We need to stay on our own side of the fence but also make sure that it is okay to pursue experiences that meet our own criteria. 19:49 How can I focus on what to appreciate rather than what I’ve lost?

In this episode, we’re going to explore a term. You’ve undoubtedly heard of its components but may not have put them together. What is meant by the term “practical spirituality?” If we’re confused trying to differentiate between religion and spirituality, adding practicality to something that is oftentimes illogical can put us into a head spin. Let’s try to make some sense out of it . . . shall we? Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:27 In the news, this was the economic times of India to put things in context, I found an article that talks about spirituality. 03:16 Aware Appreciation. 05:33 Have you heard of the term “practical spirituality?” 05:52 Let’s start by defining practical spirituality. That is not so easy to do since there is no specific term, actually. 07:15 Practical spirituality, from my perspective, means that we are going to take these spiritual practices and apply them in our lives. They are going to make our lives better. 13:11 As I was experiencing the idea of the show . . . practically spiritual came to me. It was related to the movie, “Mary Poppins.” 14:32 How can I use awareness to improve my performance while playing?

In my book, Sage Advice, I shared a technique I developed for nurturing awareness. How do you tap into your own source of sage advice? When I wrote the book, I assembled a bunch of concepts that I had already put into practice into what I term the Sage Technique TM. I'll explain what Sage stands for and how to put the technique into practice. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:01 One of the world’s best known trends experts, Daniel Levine, released an article recently where he reveals the top 6 habits you need for success in 2017. 04:01 Aware Appreciation. 06:15 In my book, Sage Advice, I shared a technique I developed for nurturing awareness. How do you tap into your own source of sage advice? 08:07 I assembled a bunch of concepts that I had already put into practice into what I term the Sage Technique. 13:50 As we start applying the SAGE Technique, this is going to nurture our development of awareness. 17:56 Anytime something happens in my life now, I know that it is possible to have a positive outcome. 18:40 Can you help me understand what should be going on in my head when I’m practicing mindfulness and meditating?

Practicing aware appreciation is a great way to change my perspective and to help me focus on the things I appreciate rather than things I don’t appreciate. As humans, when things don’t seem to be going the way we think they should be going it is easy to start seeing more things that aren’t going the way we think they should be going. This aware appreciation practice will turn that around and start moving things in a different direction for us. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:03 I read this article recently, it was about combating bullying in schools. This teacher, Captain Louise Le Roux . . . 03:19 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 Are you feeling stuck or confused . . . wondering how you get the creative juices flowing in your life? It's actually not that difficult if you're willing to set aside a few minutes every day to practice. What should you practice? 10:28 Rather than looking for what I don’t appreciate which is what we tend to do much of the times as humans my radar is up for what I do appreciate. 12:15 At that point, you will have created a habit that is going to serve you well. 13:06 This aware appreciation practice will turn that around and start moving things in a different direction for us.   13:18 I used to be a happy upbeat person but disappointments have changed that. Now I feel lonely most of the time. What should I do to break this pattern?

In this episode, we are going to talk about the difference between knowledge and awareness. Awareness is what allows the light bulb to flash. As we really practice this and build our muscles around our awareness skills, the idea is to close that gap so we can switch into awareness much more quickly and apply awareness and understanding before we get into something that we regret. Time Stamps Show Notes (click the time stamp to jump directly to that point in the episode.) [01:27] —Do you remember James Arthur Ray? Well he's been in the news again lately. [05:34] —Aware Appreciation. [07:42] —Are you still scratching your head a bit . . . wondering what it means to be aware? Today, we are going to talk about the difference between knowledge and awareness. [11:23] —Because until you have developed that awareness and you do the integration it just isn’t just going to make a difference for you. [12:05] —You are going to learn something and you are going to say, “Oh. Wow! That’s why that situation happened the way it happened.” [15:19] —Without that new knowledge or outside the box experience, that new spark won’t happen. [15:42] —I am able to stay grounded and aware when I’m just taking care of routine daily activities. How can I develop the ability to maintain awareness at all times? Resources If there were any specific resources referred to in this Episode, you’ll find them here.