Podcasts about aware appreciation

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes As I've challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You're already juggling too many balls. Something will have to go … but what? We have to choose our battles. Where will we reap the most benefit from applying our resources? There is a key that we can use to help us sort this out. We're going to apply the Pareto principle as we consider the changes we want to make. We need to identify the actions to take so that we can re-prioritize our life for big results. In this episode, you will: Learn about and understand the 80/20 principle Identify aspects of their lives that require the most dedication and effort to make way for change Set priorities and stick to them Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:12 This article from Fast Company talks about the 80-20 Rule. It says to go beyond the 80-20 rule and talking about time management. 04:59 Aware Appreciation. 07:17 As I've challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You're already juggling too many balls. 07:52 I want to start by helping you understand this 80-20 principle. As I've mentioned earlier, my husband is a mental health counselor. 14:54 It is a bit of a conundrum. We can't just ignore the 80 percent. In fact, as you can see how I demonstrated this, the 80 percent has to be addressed. 17:35 In Episode 16, I talked about Divine Decongestion. Something may have to go to make room in your life for a new and improved experience. 18:25 I'm wondering whether my boyfriend really cares about me. Even when I am crying, he is emotionless. And, when I mirror his behavior back to him, he tells me that I'm not being nice.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes How can you deal with stress that isn’t likely to go away any time soon? If you’re living with an addict, your life is stressful. And, the lingering effects of stress are not to be taken lightly. If you find yourself unable to concentrate, lying awake at night, or neglecting the “to do list” of things that need attention in your own life, you are feeling the effects of stress. I’m going to help you recognize the warning signs that stress has taken control and build the stress management skills you need as a Recovery ReLOVutionary. In this episode, listeners will: Build the stress management skills they need to help deal with stress Understand what effects stress has on well-being, including mental, physical, and emotional Learn which kinds of stress is good and which is harmful Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:44 The article was on the USAToday.com website talking about five ways to cut stress in a 24/7 world. This doctor, Dr. Francoise Adan, who heads integrative medicine at University Hospitals in Cleveland … 03:39 Aware Appreciation. 05:54 How can you deal with stress that isn’t likely to go away any time soon? If you’re living with an addict, your life is stressful. And, the lingering effects of stress are not to be taken lightly. 06:28 Let’s start by recognizing the warning signs that we are under a tremendous amount of stress. First, we’ll look at obsessive thinking. 12:02 Ways to deal with stress are going to help you to work your way through this. Let’s start by looking at this … what’s called the PCI index. 17:38 When we attempt to deal with a situation while we are under the effects of tremendous stress, the outcome is not going to be good. In Episode 5, I talked about emotional triggers. 18:25 My husband is going to put our 18-year-old son out on the street. His drug use and emotional immaturity is killing us. We have been maintaining a condo where my husband has been living with my son hoping he would be able to finish high school.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes As I’ve challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You’re already juggling too many balls. Something will have to go … but what? We have to choose our battles. Where will we reap the most benefit from applying our resources? There is a key that we can use to help us sort this out. We’re going to apply the Pareto principle as we consider the changes we want to make. We need to identify the actions to take so that we can re-prioritize our life for big results. In this episode, you will: Learn about and understand the 80/20 principle Identify aspects of their lives that require the most dedication and effort to make way for change Set priorities and stick to them Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:12 This article from Fast Company talks about the 80-20 Rule. It says to go beyond the 80-20 rule and talking about time management. 04:59 Aware Appreciation. 07:17 As I’ve challenged you to make some changes in your life, you may have found yourself asking, “How am I going to fit that in?” You’re already juggling too many balls. 07:52 I want to start by helping you understand this 80-20 principle. As I’ve mentioned earlier, my husband is a mental health counselor. 14:54 It is a bit of a conundrum. We can’t just ignore the 80 percent. In fact, as you can see how I demonstrated this, the 80 percent has to be addressed. 17:35 In Episode 16, I talked about Divine Decongestion. Something may have to go to make room in your life for a new and improved experience. 18:25 I'm wondering whether my boyfriend really cares about me. Even when I am crying, he is emotionless. And, when I mirror his behavior back to him, he tells me that I’m not being nice.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes When you experience an emotional upset – when you’re triggered emotionally, how do you typically react? Do you fight back or withdraw? In this moment, the brain takes action that makes it challenging to think rationally. There are reasons why this happens but, in most cases, it is an overreaction that results in more harm than good. We need to learn to recognize when it’s happening and take it off auto-pilot. In this episode, listeners will: Recognize when they’re overreacting emotionally Learn what to do when feeling triggered and reacting emotionally Communicate without escalating an emotional situation Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article was on the Huffington Post. It was titled, “9 Signs You Are Dealing with an Emotional Manipulator.” 06:37 Aware Appreciation. 08:53 When you experience an emotional upset – when you’re triggered emotionally, how do you typically react? Do you fight back or withdraw? 09:22 As we explore this topic today of being emotionally triggered and being in emotional pain, we need to learn to recognize how we respond when this triggering process happens. 16:17 In order to have long-term sustainable healing from this cycle of reacting in a way that’s not really serving you is to allow a period of emotional thawing. 18:48 If you typically react like a turtle, you may find the storms in your life unsettling. In fact, they may be downright frightening. 19:50 My son showed up this morning knocking on my bedroom window wanting to come in and warm up. He has been homeless for several days now since his girlfriend threw him out again.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Goals can be tricky. There’s a reason why so many abandon their New Year’s resolutions within a few days of the start of the new year. Do you have trouble setting goals and staying motivated all the way to achieving them? As we become aware of the sources of divine discontent in our lives, we may feel compelled to set goals to get the change process started. Effective goals have a comprehensive plan and typically quite a bit of preparation … but they also have another component, which is the driving force. Goals need a big why! In this episode, you will: Learn some of the reasons why goals don’t stick Consider the motivation and drive for achieving goals Anticipate some of the obstacles that may prevent achieving a goal Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:14 This article that I found to work with today was on the Huffington Post. It was titled, “10 Reasons Why We Fail to Achieve Whatever It Is that We’re Trying to Achieve” 04:32 Aware Appreciation. 06:50 Do you have trouble setting goals? And, if you do set goals, is it a challenge to stay motivated all the way to achieving them? As we become aware of the sources of divine discontent in our lives, we may feel compelled to set goals to get the change process started. 07:26 I’m calling this episode “Divine Devotion - Proving Your Commitment.” We talked in episode 10 about failure and how important it is to allow ourselves to fail. 08:43 The really important point that I want to make in this episode is how important it is that you have a clear and big WHY for any change that you are making in your life. You are going to need to refine what you really want. 14:47 Everyone seems to have an opinion about goals. Do they or don’t they work? Should you or shouldn’t you set them? Is there a better alternative? 15:30 When I wake up in the morning, I have really low energy. It’s hard to motivate myself to get out of bed. I find it difficult to express myself freely with the people in my life …

RecoverYES.com/Episodes When you have an experience that is unpleasant, do you find yourself looking for something or someone to blame for it? And, if your focus lands on someone, do you feel compelled to let them know they have caused you pain? Lastly, when you do communicate your feelings, do you use shaming language? If you’re like most humans, your answers to these questions might stir some emotions. Even a “yes” might be met with thoughts of how your actions are justified. Blaming and shaming is a game that no one wins. There is another way. In this episode, listeners will: Learn how people experience shame Differentiate between guilt and shame Gain insight into the emotions recovery stakeholders will experience Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:56 This article that I’m going to talk about is from a website called Crosswalk. The title is, “Should you feel shame for missing church?” 04:37 Aware Appreciation. 06:52 When you have an experience that is unpleasant, do you find yourself looking for something or someone to blame for it? And, if your focus lands on someone, do you feel compelled to let them know they have caused you pain? 07:30 As we explore this Blame Shame Game, it’s important to acknowledge that Recovery Stakeholders dealing with an addict are regularly put under an enormous amount of pressure. 14:04 You may be wondering at this point why we would choose to communicate like this when it is so destructive. When we’re dealing with an addict, and shaming them, it’s literally like we’re pouring gasoline on the fire that is addiction. 15:46 Unless you’re living under a rock, you are going to interact with other humans. And, that will naturally lead to conflict at times. There’s no better teacher than experience. 16:39 My children are adopted. We could not have children and to say we were thrilled when these twin boys came into our lives is an understatement. We couldn't wait to be parents.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Do you find yourself complaining regularly about some condition in your life? This may require a bit of internal investigation … also known as applied awareness. When we are repeatedly dealing with a situation that causes us to express dissatisfaction, there is something at work in our subconscious. We are committed to something that we are not consciously aware of. Why would we commit ourselves to something that doesn’t make us happy? In this episode, you will: Make a commitment to changing thought processes that perpetuate negativity Understand the effect that negative thinking has on the mental state Learn new ways to recognize and control thoughts before they wreak havoc Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:40 This particular article I found was on PsychCentral. It talks about the link between negative thinking and depression. 04:37 Aware Appreciation. 06:55 Do you find yourself complaining regularly about some condition in your life? This may require a bit of internal investigation … also known as applied awareness. 07:23 I’m calling this education segment in this episode “Divine Devotion” … proving your commitment. In this case, devotion is what we are devoted to or committed to … 14:16 The next thing then, once we’ve started to examine our own relationship to the experience, is to accept that when these sorts of experiences persist, in essence we’re committed to exactly that. 16:59 This is a concept that separates the wheat from the chaff. It requires a paradigm shift. We must accept that some of the ways we act and react are what we refer to as “trans-rational.” 17:37 Since I was a child, I have felt less than … unimportant. Even when people tell me I'm beautiful, I still find myself thinking of all my “flaws.”

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Why doesn’t change stick? It defies logic that an addict would muscle their way to sobriety only to fall back into addiction’s trap. Yet it happens over and over. As Recovery Stakeholders, we have a lot at stake. We can relate on some level. We managed to make some change we really wanted to make. And before we even finished celebrating, we found ourselves right back where we started … maybe even worse off. It’s important to understand what causes relapse. Once we understand why it happens, we can get out in front of it to prevent it. In this episode, listeners will: Understand what causes relapse and how to avoid it Differentiate between relapse and a “slip” Learn the warning signs for a relapse and what the stakeholder’s role is in recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article that I came across was in The Lasallian and it talks about this program that is focused on training families and helping professionals so that they better understand addiction 05:27 Aware Appreciation. 07:44 Why doesn’t change stick? It defies logic that an addict would muscle their way to sobriety, only to fall back into addiction’s trap. 08:20 I want to start by differentiating between a slip and a relapse. It’s important that we differentiate between these two terms because we’re going to treat a slip much differently than a full-blown relapse. 17:04 Our ReachYES Program at RecoverYES.com … we provide coaching and help point you in the right direction to get the additional help you need to deal with the issues that you are working with. 17:40 We use a phrase often at RecoverYES.com. “Muscling your way to sobriety.” You may have even heard me use this phrase today in this episode. 18:26 My son went to prison for three years for manufacturing meth. He’s been home for several months and I'm starting to worry. He is doing everything correct.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes What happens when we know we need to let go of something and we resist? We may be able to get away with it for a while. But eventually, the consequences will mount. Taken to the extreme, this demonstrates itself as hoarding. You probably don’t have a diagnosable hoarding problem, but it can still be causing you stress or harm. We’re going to look for ways that hoarding shows up in our lives that we may not initially recognize. It makes developing awareness much more challenging. In this episode, you will: Recognize the ways hoarding affects everyone Learn how to let go of the things that might be holding them back Understand why people tend to accumulate possessions and hold onto unnecessary things Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 This article from ABC7 in New York talks about the fact that the New York firefighters have been trained to battle not only dangerous fires, but hoarding conditions as well. 04:13 Aware Appreciation. 06:30 What happens when we know we need to let go of something … you name it … and we resist? We may be able to get away with it for a while. But eventually, the consequences will mount. 07:01 As I’ve mentioned previously, hoarding is a real disorder. You may have seen programs on TV where they highlighted somebody who was a hoarder … 11:30 We might call this laziness or procrastination but it can just be a lack of vision. “What am I going to do with it?” 15:05 We all have that drawer or closet (most likely both) that has become a Pandora’s Box of stagnant energy. Out of sight, out of mind, right? Not really. 16:00 I live with my family and have been working nonstop to save for my future. They are always asking for money and I don’t feel like I can say, “No.”

RecoverYES.com/Episodes It is helpful to understand the stages of change so that you can recognize them … for yourself and others. Trying to make a change when you haven’t moved to the appropriate stage will do nothing more than increase resistance. At a minimum, that will make the change process way more difficult. As Recovery Stakeholders, there are changes that everyone in the family system needs to make … that will make living with an addict (in recovery or not) much easier. In this episode, listeners will: Learn to ease the struggle that accompanies change Understand what is required to change any habit … and make it stick Discover the warning signs that flash before a relapse happens Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:13 I found this article at Psychcentral and I thought it was really interesting. I had not heard of this particular stage of change referred to in this way previously. 04:57 Aware Appreciation. 07:12 What happens when someone breaks through denial? They move into the next stage of change. It is helpful to understand the stages so that you can recognize them. 07:51 I want to open this episode by going through the Stages of Change with you so that you really understand what we’re working with here. 13:21 You want to focus a great deal of energy on the Determination, Planning and Preparation Stage. Create a good blueprint that addresses all the things … 19:16 It’s safe to say that any habit we’re engaging in is providing some relief. Of course, some habits are healthy and aren’t accompanied by unwanted side effects. 19:58 I see so many stories about multiple trips to rehab … up to 15 times. My 24 year old daughter is in rehab for the first time.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Or, maybe a change was thrust on you … without asking your permission, like the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or a relationship coming to an end. For anyone dealing with change in their life … whether the change you’re dealing with is proactive or reactive, you are going to deal with many of the same issues. When confronted with change, resistance shows up in all sorts of ways. We need to have some tools handy so we can let go gracefully. In this episode, you will: Learn how to handle changes with grace and ease Explore why people resist making changes, especially important ones Identify the thoughts that sabotage the change process Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:48 I found this article on News-Medical.net. It talks about how women experience higher stress levels from major life events than men. 06:15 Aware Appreciation. 08:33 Are you thinking about making a change in your life? Or, maybe a change was thrust on you … without asking your permission. 09:04 When life presents us with an opportunity to let go, what does it look like when we are in resistance to that? 16:05 How do we let go gracefully? What does this look like? Here’s my ideas that you might apply to help you move through some sort of transition that you are needing to go through. 19:08 Even wanted change is stressful. Most of us lead busy and full lives. Change requires that we add activities and decisions to an already full plate. No wonder we resist! 19:59 I have a habit of making enemies out of people in my mind. I make up stories of what they are thinking about me … especially when I put myself out there publicly.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes As Recovery Stakeholders, you know that denial is not unique to someone struggling with addiction. Stakeholders also experience denial … not wanting to accept the reality of their loved one’s addiction. How do we recognize something we can't see? What if denial is actually serving a purpose? Could it be an unavoidable part of the change process? Rather than being frustrated by denial, let’s dig a little deeper to understand it. In this episode, listeners will: Learn when denial can serve a good purpose, and when it doesn’t Accept that denial happens, and determine what to do about it when encountered Deal with denial and prepare to make necessary changes without denial getting in the way Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:42 This article was on Today.com about David Cassidy. David Cassidy struggled with alcoholism many years ago and had an issue on stage not long ago. 05:00 Aware Appreciation. 07:15 You may have heard that the translation for the word denial is “Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.” I’ve always had a problem with it because the word ‘know’ doesn’t start with an ‘n.’ 07:44 Let’s start by considering why people deny that something or anything is going on? Denial is actually a defense strategy to protect yourself from feeling pain or shame. 13:29 The most common way an addict (or even ourselves for that matter) are forced to deal with and breakthrough denial is that the consequences have become too great. 16:41 Breaking through denial typically requires a pattern interrupt ... a sort of intervention. In a moment of new awareness, we see (or hear) something differently. 17:16 My son told me he's an adult and he can do what he wants. He wants to get high (heroin). He says he's going to keep doing it. Of course, I'm devastated.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you ready to release attachments that are not serving you? There is an element of chaos that accompanies change. But even chaos has structure to it. It is orderly in its own way. Our work is to find easy and practical ways to create order … even in the midst of chaos. It will make a difference and soothe the chaotic feeling that accompanies change. Let’s explore some easy and practical ways to create order in the midst of chaos. In this episode, you will: Find ways to better organize their lives Utilize routine and discipline to help create order amid everyday chaos Consider what it means to live an orderly life Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:46 This particular article was in Forbes. It is titled, “Ten Habits of Incredibly Happy People.” It was the result of a study from Northwestern University that measured the happiness levels of regular people … 04:50 Aware Appreciation. 07:07 Are you ready to release attachments that are not serving you? There is an element of chaos that accompanies change. But even chaos has structure to it. 07:40 If we start to consider what it means to live an orderly life, one of the things that comes into my mind is this idea that order equates to almost a military attention to detail … 09:25 This is a great observation that we need to apply in every area of our lives. Routine and discipline do what I like to call “freeing-up mindshare.” 19:01 This is a wonderful opportunity to practice awareness. Are you the type of person who lives a structured life? Or, do you prefer to take things as they come? 19:42 My life consists of always looking over my shoulder. I worry about everything. When the phone rings, I think, “Who died? Or, what’s wrong?”

RecoverYES.com/Episodes There is tremendous value in expressing appreciation, especially when you do it with regularity. As a Recovery Stakeholder, you are living through a challenging situation. If you’re feeling like the world you live in is just too stressful to find things to appreciate, you’re not alone … and you have an even greater need to practice. Let’s find the motivation and learn how to do it to get the most benefit from it. In this episode, listeners will: Learn why Aware Appreciation is a beneficial practice Appreciate the positives in their lives, big and small Interrupt negative thinking with appreciation and move past negative emotions Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:43 This article was on Courant.com and it talks about the family’s experience. The person writing the piece is a lawyer. 05:42 Aware Appreciation. 07:57 Why do I take a couple of minutes in each episode to lead you through a mindfulness practice that ends with Aware Appreciation? There is tremendous value in expressing appreciation … 08:30 As a Recovery Stakeholder, you would be totally justified in finding things to criticize and complain about regularly. 12:09 I’m sure you’re thinking “Geez! Dr. Gala, I’m already practicing appreciation. What more do you want me to do?” 14:14 All I can say is just try it. Go get a copy of the Aware Appreciation Quick Start Guide at AwarenessAddicts.com/AA. Do it right now. Don’t delay. 15:36 My daughter got arrested last night. Her boyfriend is trying to contact me … I assume for help bailing her out. I think she’s better off in jail.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If you are feeling like it’s time to make a change, you may be feeling some fear. One of the big reasons we resist change is fear of the unknown. By proactively cutting ties to something we’ve been attached to, we create space for something new to come in. This is sometimes referred to as a vacuum that the universe is on a mission to fill for you. What if the new isn’t an improvement? It’s a valid fear, but we can meet it head on and redirect it … if we don’t allow it to control us. In this episode, you will: Learn to make change to create space for new in their lives Confront the fear of change Become aware of ways life gets cluttered and learn what to do about it Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:47 The article came from a website called Sparefoot.com and it was titled, “How to Get Your Spouse to Get Organized.” Hopefully, you see the problem with this … 08:20 Aware Appreciation. 10:37 Should you proactively cut ties to something you’ve become attached to? If so, it’s going to create space for something new to come in. 11:00 I am going to refer to a concept in this episode called “divine decongestion.” If you look to the definition of congested, it means not breathing easily. 12:05 Sources of clutter don’t have to be just stuff. We can clutter our minds with thoughts or distract ourselves with clutter in the form of … 17:44 Many years ago, I was contemplating leaving the field of professional accounting. In case you didn’t know, I am a CPA and built a successful financial services firm with a partner … 19:18 I have expectations for what my partner should give me. When it doesn’t happen, I am disappointed and blame them for not giving me what I want.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Many Recovery Stakeholders have attended 12-step meetings to show support for the recovery process. While this can be an eye-opener, it can quickly become an act of codependence. Rather, the 12-step program that is appropriate for the Recovery Stakeholder is not the same program that an addict attends. These programs for family and friends of addicts are companion programs with a similar structure. Some find just what they need with these groups. Others find them lacking. In this episode, listeners will: Get an overview of the positives and negatives of 12-step Anon programs Learn about Anon programs for Recovery Stakeholders Find community resources that may help aid their own recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:33 I like to find stories that help us know this to be true and this one is no different. This story is from a site called Hightimes.com. It talks about marijuana or cannabis, which is a topic that is quite controversial these days. 07:45 Aware Appreciation. 10:00 Many Recovery Stakeholders have attended 12-step meetings to show support for the recovery process. While this can be an eye-opener, it can quickly become an act of codependence. 10:34 The 12-step programs for stakeholders are commonly referred to as Anon programs … Al-Anon, Nar-Anon. CoDA is not really considered an Anon program because it’s not a companion program. 15:13 Some of the limitations of the 12-step programs are related to what I’ve just shared … that everybody is using the same piece of material. 18:22 You may have gathered that I see both sides of the coin where 12-step programs and Anon programs are concerned. 20:30 I'm feeling guilty. I asked my son and his girlfriend to leave my house. I just can't do it anymore more.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Are you content with your life just the way it is? What does it mean to be content? The definition of contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. Discontent would then be unhappy and unsatisfied. It’s not really black and white though. We never are really content or completely discontent. Certainly, we can be content in some areas and discontent in other areas simultaneously. Rather than buying into the concept of contentment, we’re going to consider an alternate viewpoint. What if contentment is the trap? Freedom lies in our discontent … or what I like to refer to as Divine Discontent. In this episode, you will: Learn what it means to be divinely discontent Consider what’s missing in their lives that would result in more happiness Appreciate the good in their lives and think about how to grow, improve, and expand those positive aspects Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:41 his particular article that I’m sharing with you today is talking about Hoda, who is on the Today show with Kathie Lee Gifford. 05:28 Aware Appreciation. 07:45 Are you content with your life just the way it is? If your response is, “Sure, but there’s always room for improvement,” you’re human. 08:10 What does it mean to be content? The definition of contentment is the state of being happy and satisfied. Discontent would then be unhappy and unsatisfied. 12:14 One of the ways that we start to be open to those potential experiences is to allow ourselves to dream of what we might be, do, or have if we knew we couldn’t fail? 13:48 Developing awareness is the key to accessing divinity. Divine discontent isn’t just avoiding what we don’t want to deal with. 14:43 I was told my job position was eliminated. Then someone from the night shift was given a permanent position on the same shift I was terminated from.

RecoverYES.com/Episodes In this episode of Recovery ReLOVution, we’re going to challenge you to focus on your own healing. It’s not just the addict that needs to recover. YOU need to recover as well. Most Recovery Stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one find their way to recovery that they have set their own needs aside. You’re not helping the addict find recovery when you’re not demonstrating what it looks like to live a full and fulfilling life. There’s only one person’s healing you can influence and that’s yours. In this episode, you will: Prioritize healing and well-being Relinquish control over the addicted loved one’s actions Accept that dealing with addicts is traumatizing, and find out how to get help Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:21 Today, we are talking about healing for yourself and for your loved one. One of the things in the way of healing is trauma. 07:10 Aware Appreciation. 09:24 Can you relate to this? A Recovery Stakeholder shared that she felt guilty because she was celebrating taking the time to have her hair styled. 09:51 I warned you that I’m going to turn the tables on you today. I’m going to challenge you to focus on your own healing. 15:13 What you may find even for yourself is that even if your addict is finding their way through this and they are sober just dealing with sober addict can be traumatizing. 17:57 Recovery Stakeholders are shocked when they meet with a therapist and are diagnosed with PTSD. Actually, it’s helpful to face the diagnosis. It should be taken seriously. 19:00 This is killing me from the inside out. How do I deal with the disappointment?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If the objective of good planning is to avoid failure, why bother? Should we just skip the planning and take things as they come? I think we can agree that failure can be quite painful. While you can’t plan for every possibility, planning IS critical to get the most out of every failure. This can be applied to any sort of change of habit that we want to make. In this episode, you will: Learn why planning is important for making changes Prepare for failures and unexpected outcomes Identify the obstacles we anticipate and envision a successful outcome Time Stamped Show Notes: 02:25 I pulled something up from Pyschecentral on the stages of change. I wanted to just talk to you a little bit today about how change happens 06:45 Aware Appreciation. 09:03 One of the reasons we avoid making any significant change in our lives is the fear of failure. Failure can be quite painful. Since it is inevitable . . . 09:33 We often say that this is the most important stage of change, this planning and preparation or determination stage. You may have heard the phrase, “Failing to plan is planning to fail.” 15:00 The problem is if we go into it with half-baked plan as enough of those reasons why we can’t do it presents themselves. 18:13 I personally thought it was interesting to couple determination with planning and preparation. That was a new discovery for me 20:00 How do I set goals that actually motivate me to do things I want to do but wouldn’t necessarily focus on otherwise?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes If you use shame to try to motivate your loved one to make a change, it’s going to backfire. Are you wondering if you are shaming the addict? There’s a good chances you are. It’s difficult not to when faced with the crazy thoughtless behavior that accompanies addiction. Still . . . it isn’t helping. Most of us grew up believing that shame would motivate someone to change. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. In fact, it just fuels addiction … just the thing you’re hoping to stop. We need to take a different approach. In this episode, you will: Communicate shamelessly with your addicted loved one Learn what to do when you can’t say anything nice Motivate your addicted loved one the RIGHT way Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:50 In this particular story that I’m going to share with you today it was reported in Tennessean which is the newspaper in Tennessee national particularly. 06:39 Aware Appreciation. 08:53 Do you find yourself saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re so selfish.”? Or, “Why are you making such bad choices?” Or, “Are you blind to the damage you’re causing?” 09:27 If you’re living with an addict or in some sort of close relationship with an addict it is nearly impossible to avoid shaming them. 16:31 We need to demonstrate what it looks like to be loved and accepted and to not be codependent. 17:39 Most Recovery Stakeholders are codependent. It comes with the territory. And, one of the main symptoms of codependence is the lack of personal boundaries. 18:49 I feel the need to let her know how she has destroyed her family and children. Should I tell her how I feel?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes If you’re like most humans, failing was discouraged. We would try to hide it, or worse, avoid it by not trying. But, we’re going to learn to celebrate failure. It is failure that precedes growth and development … and success. As you develop awareness, you’re going to have ideas that call you to bigger and better things. If you’re willing to experience some discomfort, the payoff could be HUGE! In this episode, you will: Focus on the dreams you have had and become aware of opportunities Learn what it takes to become proficient in a new activity or hobby Acknowledge what is holding you back from trying something new Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:20 I found this article on the Harvard Business Review talking about strategies to use for learning from failure. This section of the article was really awesome. 06:23 Aware Appreciation. 08:41 If you’re like most humans, failing was discouraged … maybe not even just discouraged, it might have had a big spotlight shown on it that said, “Don’t do this.” 09:20 Why don’t we want to fail? As children, we weren’t afraid to fail. In fact, just to learn to walk we had to be willing to fail a lot. 14:54 It’s time that you acknowledge what holds you back. What your obstacles are really are. 17:35 When I started talking to you about this topic today, one of the lines in the article reminded us that it’s not just discipline but enthusiasm that needs to be applied when we’re examining our failures. 19:23 I wanted to love and risk being intimate but, for some reason, I couldn’t. Why am I repeating these relationship problems?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes We need to set some realistic expectations for recovery … for you and your loved one. It’s going to require you to do some things differently, including setting healthy boundaries with your addicted family member. And, it is not for sissies. Most recovery stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one get sober that they’re blindsided when sobriety turns to relapse. What kinds of things will you need to do differently? In this episode, you will: Prioritize their own recovery and become educated Learn to set boundaries with an addicted loved one Understand realistic expectations for recovery Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:15 I found an article that I wanted to share with you from a newspaper in Ohio. It talks about a man named Norm Zent. 05:30 Aware Appreciation. 07:45 Most recovery stakeholders are so focused on helping their addicted loved one get sober that they’re blindsided when sobriety turns to relapse. 08:09 To start, you need to figure out what you should be focusing on. Most recovery stakeholders are focused on the addict and the crazy things they’re experiencing as a result of having an addicted loved one. 17:45 Just know that even if you are getting push back that being cautious and making your loved one have some seasoning to their recovery is best for all concerned. 18:09 My takeaway is that most Recovery Stakeholders are new to the term “personal boundaries” until they actually become a Recovery Stakeholder 19:07 I did tell him that he cannot come back and live with me. If his calls make me crazy, should I just stop taking them?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes In this episode, we’re going to acquaint ourselves with that voice in our heads. Honestly, some of the things it says seem illogical . . . even irrational. It has tremendous power over us, though, if it is allowed to prattle on unchecked. If we give that voice much freedom, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. It doesn’t have to be that way. In fact, that voice can actually serve us. But we have to show it who’s boss. In this episode, you will: Develop control over that nagging voice in your head Identify the situations you are most likely to self-sabotage in order to avoid them in the future Learn to engage in positive self-talk to eliminate the negative voice Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:31 There was an article on CNN recently that talked about Uber, if any of you have used Uber . . . 05:02 Aware Appreciation. 07:21 Once we’re starting to make some progress, the voice in your head may get really loud. “Things look great now, but you know that won’t last.” 07:45 How do we recognize this self-sabotage process before it gets some momentum going? 12:52 So, how do you recognize it? How do you begin to cut its power off? First, you prepare in advance. 16:08 One of the ways that we can do this reverse engineering process that I’ve talked to you about is name the voice in your head. 17:48 How do I stay positive even when I feel like I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes Why do so many addicts relapse? For anyone that is not struggling with addiction, it makes no sense. But, since addiction is medicating some problem, the addict is going to have to find another form of medication that is equally effective. Easier said than done. That’s why they so often relapse. We suggest a different approach. Get to the underlying cause and treat the symptoms. In most cases, those symptoms include trauma. To deal with an addict in your family that is trying to cope with PTSD, you are going to need some help. In this episode, you will: Understand the effects of trauma on your mind and body Determine the root traumatic experience of your emotional reactions to stressors Learn the differences between PTSD and trauma Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:12 In the news recently, it was the Indy Star … there was an article talking about drug overdoses. In particular, how people who have overdosed are treated in the hospital. 04:10 Aware Appreciation. 06:26 Since addiction is medicating some problem, the addict is going to have to find another form of medication that is equally effective. Easier said than done. 07:00 Why is it important to understand trauma? If trauma is fueling these undesirable thoughts and ultimately the behaviors . . . 15:56 Trauma is not a one size fits all. The important thing is to know what’s going on with you. And, as you are trying to get to the bottom of what’s really going on with your loved one . . . 16:31 It is all too common to dismiss our traumatic life experiences. Hey, we survived! We shouldn’t be complaining. 17:38 How do I love the addict when he loves the drugs more than anything . . . including his family?

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes When we bump up against our fellow humans and overreact, it consumes a TON of energy. We need to learn to deal with these upsets more efficiently so we can stay focused on what matters. One of the things that we have to consider as we learn to manage our anger and emotions is how to allow passion and enthusiasm to be alive and well, while at the same time not feel like it’s got to turn to anger and bullying. In this episode, you will: • Learn how to react with intention rather than emotion • Understand which triggering experiences create negative reactions • Identify the causes of emotional reactions that escalate negative situations Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:12 I came across this article from Politico Magazine. I thought it was really interesting because today we are talking about managing emotions and anger management. 04:17 Aware Appreciation. 06:36 Why is it so challenging to live life intentionally and “keep our eye on the ball?” 07:05 In the world of mental health counseling, anger management would be more readily called “managing emotional triggers.” 11:43 Beginning to really understand what’s going on here helps us to accept that awareness is going to require a rational brain. 14:43 It is not possible to have any sort of deep awareness when you are triggered and in fight or flight mode. 16:24 Should I tell my parents I’m gay or just keep it to myself to avoid the risk that they will disown me?

RecoverYES.com/Episodes   What comes after the intervention? Typically, a plan is already in motion. But is it going to get the job done? We’ll make sure you’re covering all the bases. Costs associated with addiction treatment can be staggering. But, the cost of not treating the problem could be the ultimate …. the end of life. How do you put together a course of treatment that will be effective and not break the bank? This episode will make sure you’re prepared. In this episode, you will: Understand different treatment options available for your loved one Understand the associated costs of treatment and what’s important Learn what to expect in treatment – realistic vs unrealistic expectations Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:43 The article says, "Extensive research has shown that receiving medical care and monitored support in the home promotes faster recovery, improves outcomes, and increases the patient's overall physical and psychological well-being." 04:04 Aware Appreciation. 06:29 How do you put together a course of treatment that will be effective and not break the bank? The key is to put the cart before the horse. Let me explain. 09:07 Let's start by looking at the cost. This is going to be a quick overview, but I just want to give you a few ideas of what to look for as you're putting a plan together. 15:14 It gives you some peace of mind. You don't have that constant worry and threat right under your roof. 16:10 If you don't treat the underlying symptom, there's no reason to believe that the addiction won't return. 17:00 My daughter got out of rehab today. She went to her counseling session and support group meeting . . . then relapsed.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes We know change happens. Wouldn't it be nice if change happened on our own terms? I'm not suggesting we can control everything in our lives, but we can certainly be more deliberate as we create the design and blueprint. We are going to become intentional with the big changes we're making. In this episode, you will: Learn to be more intentional in your choices Focus on the desires and goals that are most important in your life Make choices and actions that bring more joy to your life Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:25 The sages of India observed thousands of years ago that our destiny is ultimately shaped by our deepest intentions and desires. 03:44 Aware Appreciation. 06:03 We know change happens. Wouldn't it be nice if change happened on our own terms? 06:25 What does it mean to be intentional anyway? Well, we could probably all agree that it starts with knowing what you want. 11:41 I want us to be able to put them into good use in our lives and make our lives better … sooner rather than later. 14:04 We want things to happen when we want them to happen and we are not willing to wait. 15:10 Why did they even go out together as a family if they weren't going to interact? What do you think? Resources:

RecoverYES.Com/Episodes We're going to discuss intervention. We're going to see it for what it is . . . and isn't. And, I'm going to introduce you to types of interventions that are probably new to you. You might be wondering how to do an intervention with someone you love … or even how to stage an intervention for addiction. If someone you care about is struggling with addiction, you may find yourself watching the show Intervention and hoping for answers or insight. Sometimes a formal intervention is the only way to stop the addictive behavior. But, stopping the behavior is not what's needed in the long term. It's important to approach intervention with a long-term mindset. In this episode, you will learn: About the different types of intervention How interventions can be used to help your loved one seek treatment How to prepare for an intervention for your loved one Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:29 I was brought to this post on the Huffington's post where a scholar was talking about the risks of military intervention. 03:31 Aware Appreciation. 05:59 Sometimes a formal intervention is the only way to stop the addictive behavior. But, stopping the behavior is not what's needed. . . 08:32 This is extremely helpful because a lot of times families just don't know what to do and what not to do. They end up enabling their addict loved one. 12:20 The problem with this type of intervention is that as a recovery stakeholder and as a ReLOVutionary we can't just sit around and wait for this to happen. 14:03 Well my takeaway is that intervention requires a long-term treatment plan, sometimes better to start with a few counseling sessions. . .even for yourself. 15:40 I was so concerned that my husband would leave that I snuck out to his car and ripped some wires out from under the hood.

AwarenessAddicts.com/Episodes Change is inevitable.  But we do have control over it much of the time ... if we are willing to ignite change intentionally. You may be wondering how to change bad habits or behaviors permanently. And ... with intention. It’s going to require that we accept a bit of discomfort in the short term. We can make the process easier. From the happiness book I mentioned last episode, it's clear that even ill-conceived habits create happy chemicals in the brain.   In this episode, you will: Become aware of damaging behaviors the affect happiness Learn how to increase your happiness by eliminating bad habits Develop awareness of actions you can take to improve your long-term happiness Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:16 As I was doing some research for this episode, I came across an old Chinese proverb that says, "In times of great winds, some build bunkers, others build windmills." 04:12 Aware Appreciation. 06:30 Change is inevitable. But we do have control over it much of the time...if we are willing to ignite change intentionally. 06:58 Let's start by looking at why we would even consider changing. 12:41 As we make change intentionally, we embrace the fact that change happens. Life is going to happen. 14:30 Sometimes we want to change just for the sake of changing. Just because we are bored and things have been the same in our own minds for too long. 15:56 Why is it so easy to keep going back to our old bad habits even after we've experienced the positive change temporarily?

When we are triggered emotionally, our thinking brain is taken offline so that we can focus on survival . . . fighting or running. Is it any wonder we don’t make great decisions when we’re angry? As ReLOVutionaries, we’re “amping up” the love. That’s going to require that our brain is fully functional! To make good choices and decisions, you need to learn to manage YOUR emotions. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:18 A few months ago, Ozzy Osbourne admitted that he struggles with sex addiction. His wife, Sharon, has reportedly found the news shocking. 03:45 Aware Appreciation. 05:59 It seems simple - right? They should be able to make better choices. 06:19 As humans there is no way of escaping that feeling of being overwhelmed by emotion. We refer to this as being emotionally triggered. 09:01 We are going into fight or flight response. We couldn’t make a good rational decision if our life depended on it. 12:46 We want life to feel exhilarating but that can quickly derail your contentment. This is actually one of the things that addicts who are considering recovery regularly say. 13:29 I just had a meltdown standing in my front yard screaming, "Stop the insanity," in the pouring rain. After 10 years of dealing with an addicted daughter, I've had it.

How happy are you? If you’re thinking it’s a long way from where you are right now to happy, I’m going to challenge you to try a new approach. If we want to learn to manufacture happiness, examining what I refer to as “newness drug” can provide some much needed insight. Let’s take control over our happiness factory. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:40 In this particular research study conducted by Rutgers University in the US, they found that the presence of flowers triggers positive emotions and heightens feelings of satisfaction. 04:40 Aware Appreciation. 06:59 Have you wondered why it feels so good to be in love . . . especially new love? 07:53 “Are you happy?” Or, “What makes you happy?” Can you answer that question? 08:49 One of the reasons we practice aware appreciation is because we keep adding more “feel good” thoughts as we work through the exercise. 18:46 We need to stay on our own side of the fence but also make sure that it is okay to pursue experiences that meet our own criteria. 19:49 How can I focus on what to appreciate rather than what I’ve lost?

In this episode, we’re talking about codependence. As humans, it is virtually impossible to escape without falling prey to this affliction. Many Recovery Stakeholders share that they feel like worrying about their loved one that's struggling with addiction is a full-time job. It can be challenging to break out of that web of confusion. You need to find a new job . . . one that prioritizes taking care of yourself. There are ways to keep codependence from consuming you. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:10 Recently, Carrie Fisher, the Star Wars sweetheart suffered a heart attack on an airplane and died a few days later. 03:24 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 Many Recovery Stakeholders share that they feel like worrying about their loved one that's struggling with addiction is a full time job. 08:39 A lot of people who have a compulsive personality do find that they are all or nothing. They are 100% in it or 100% out of it. 11:25 This image includes stop behaviors, warning sign behaviors that indicate you are treading on thin ice and, healthy behaviors. 11:54 Codependence is so seductive. We are tricked into believing that we will be loved and appreciated commensurate with how codependent we are. 16:45 I had kicked him out before because of all the lying and stealing. Am I stupid for giving him a second chance?

In this episode, we’re going to explore a term. You’ve undoubtedly heard of its components but may not have put them together. What is meant by the term “practical spirituality?” If we’re confused trying to differentiate between religion and spirituality, adding practicality to something that is oftentimes illogical can put us into a head spin. Let’s try to make some sense out of it . . . shall we? Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:27 In the news, this was the economic times of India to put things in context, I found an article that talks about spirituality. 03:16 Aware Appreciation. 05:33 Have you heard of the term “practical spirituality?” 05:52 Let’s start by defining practical spirituality. That is not so easy to do since there is no specific term, actually. 07:15 Practical spirituality, from my perspective, means that we are going to take these spiritual practices and apply them in our lives. They are going to make our lives better. 13:11 As I was experiencing the idea of the show . . . practically spiritual came to me. It was related to the movie, “Mary Poppins.” 14:32 How can I use awareness to improve my performance while playing?

You know you need to do things differently but the people in your world . . . especially the addict . . . are probably not thrilled with your newfound approach to dealing with them or their problems. If you're trying to set and hold boundaries with an addict, you WILL face blow back. Addicts are masterful manipulators. Let's make sure you're prepared. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:10 We live in Hilton Head, South Carolina. In the last few months, we were hit by two hurricanes. 03:20 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 If you're trying to set and hold boundaries with an addict, you WILL face blow back. Addicts are masterful manipulators. Let's make sure you're prepared. 08:47 Most of us set boundaries really easilyy but we don’t hold them. Or, maybe we don’t set them because we are fearful that we won’t hold them. 11:11 Then there is the thoughtful, loving, and intimate way of setting boundaries which is what I encourage you to develop. 12:29 In order to survive the storm that is addiction, you need to carefully plan the boundaries you set . . . so that you can hold them. 12:50 I'm at the end of my rope. I'm a wreck and need advice.

Practicing aware appreciation is a great way to change my perspective and to help me focus on the things I appreciate rather than things I don’t appreciate. As humans, when things don’t seem to be going the way we think they should be going it is easy to start seeing more things that aren’t going the way we think they should be going. This aware appreciation practice will turn that around and start moving things in a different direction for us. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:03 I read this article recently, it was about combating bullying in schools. This teacher, Captain Louise Le Roux . . . 03:19 Aware Appreciation. 05:38 Are you feeling stuck or confused . . . wondering how you get the creative juices flowing in your life? It's actually not that difficult if you're willing to set aside a few minutes every day to practice. What should you practice? 10:28 Rather than looking for what I don’t appreciate which is what we tend to do much of the times as humans my radar is up for what I do appreciate. 12:15 At that point, you will have created a habit that is going to serve you well. 13:06 This aware appreciation practice will turn that around and start moving things in a different direction for us.   13:18 I used to be a happy upbeat person but disappointments have changed that. Now I feel lonely most of the time. What should I do to break this pattern?

In my book, Sage Advice, I shared a technique I developed for nurturing awareness. How do you tap into your own source of sage advice? When I wrote the book, I assembled a bunch of concepts that I had already put into practice into what I term the Sage Technique TM. I'll explain what Sage stands for and how to put the technique into practice. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:01 One of the world’s best known trends experts, Daniel Levine, released an article recently where he reveals the top 6 habits you need for success in 2017. 04:01 Aware Appreciation. 06:15 In my book, Sage Advice, I shared a technique I developed for nurturing awareness. How do you tap into your own source of sage advice? 08:07 I assembled a bunch of concepts that I had already put into practice into what I term the Sage Technique. 13:50 As we start applying the SAGE Technique, this is going to nurture our development of awareness. 17:56 Anytime something happens in my life now, I know that it is possible to have a positive outcome. 18:40 Can you help me understand what should be going on in my head when I’m practicing mindfulness and meditating?

In this episode, Dr. Gala helps you understand how addiction really works and what it’s trying to accomplish. If you are a recovery stakeholder, you'll be challenged to think differently as we dig deeper into ways that we can outsmart addiction. It is helpful to see addiction ... not really as an enemy but rather ... as a friend. And, it has served the addict well but its usefulness has come to an end. Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:03 Now, Johann Hari is definitely a recovery stakeholder. He had a number of family members that had struggled with addiction and it caused him to launch into several years of intense researching around the war on drugs. 03:40 Aware Appreciation. 05:57 If you're dealing with a loved one that is struggling with addiction, it is understandable that you would be cynical. Nothing you've done has made a difference . . . yet . . . What do we mean by outsmarting addiction? 11:16 Addiction is just a symptom of an underlying cause. Maybe you’ve started putting that together from what I’m sharing with you here today. 11:52 The addict brain is pretty smart but we are smarter. We can see what is happening and why it is happening 12:47 That is why I’m sharing with you a little bit of information to help you understand how addiction really works and what it’s trying to accomplish.   13:43 I am so upset and need advice. My son is in jail for stealing a car.

In this episode, we are going to talk about the difference between knowledge and awareness. Awareness is what allows the light bulb to flash. As we really practice this and build our muscles around our awareness skills, the idea is to close that gap so we can switch into awareness much more quickly and apply awareness and understanding before we get into something that we regret. Time Stamps Show Notes (click the time stamp to jump directly to that point in the episode.) [01:27] —Do you remember James Arthur Ray? Well he's been in the news again lately. [05:34] —Aware Appreciation. [07:42] —Are you still scratching your head a bit . . . wondering what it means to be aware? Today, we are going to talk about the difference between knowledge and awareness. [11:23] —Because until you have developed that awareness and you do the integration it just isn’t just going to make a difference for you. [12:05] —You are going to learn something and you are going to say, “Oh. Wow! That’s why that situation happened the way it happened.” [15:19] —Without that new knowledge or outside the box experience, that new spark won’t happen. [15:42] —I am able to stay grounded and aware when I’m just taking care of routine daily activities. How can I develop the ability to maintain awareness at all times? Resources If there were any specific resources referred to in this Episode, you’ll find them here.

The stakeholder relationship is really important. Once you understand what it is, you will see it at work in many situations. As a recovery stakeholder, you have a stake in your loved ones’ recovery. You have a stake in seeing recovery stick. So, we coined the term recovery stakeholder. It seemed appropriate and most people that we have talked to that are in this boat agree. The important thing to recognize is that it is a slippery slope for a stakeholder to become codependent with the person that they are in relationship with.        Time Stamped Show Notes: 01:36   She talks about how she can see now that she enabled him as he was growing up . . . just trying to be a good mom that wanted life to be a little easier for her son.   02:13   Aware Appreciation.  04:28   Are you still scratching your head a bit? Wondering, what a recovery stakeholder is? And, even if you are one? Let’s start with defining recovery stakeholders.   09:34   Make sure that you are not enabling the addict and prolonging the inevitable.  10:54   Whatever your relationship is with that person, at a certain point, they have to take responsibility for the issue.   15:38   Sometimes, the only thing we can do is to just confront the craziness that we are in the middle of and say, “That is the addiction talking.”   16:45   I am feeling torn. I hadn't heard from my son in over a week. He texted me yesterday and, once again, blamed my husband and I for what's going on in his life.