Beyond Affairs

In this episode, Tiffanie, our new team member, sits down with Brian to chat about the Man of Honor Retreat — a powerful experience designed to help men reconnect with purpose, integrity, and brotherhood. We dive into the heart behind the retreat, the challenges men face today, and what it truly means to live as a man of honor. Whether you're seeking personal growth, deeper relationships, or are simply curious about the movement, this conversation offers insight, inspiration, and a call to live with greater intentionality.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Anne and Brian Bercht share some of the most common obstacles that get in the way of healing from an affair. Gain insight on what to do, what not to do, and where to find the help and guidance you need to successfully heal. We'll share how to avoid common pitfalls that can have a negative impact on your healing journey. Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Greg is a physician. He had 2 affairs over the course of their 29 year marriage. One was 22 years ago, when they had only been married 7 years and Krista was pregnant. Greg never dealt with it - instead he buried it, hid it and just tried to move on, but the unconfessed affair caused shame and a loss of self-worth. His 2nd affair  happened 13 years later. When Krista found out through a text message from the other woman it was like a category 5 tornado that leveled their lives. To say that Krista was angry is an understatement. While it wasn't easy, they have not only healed their marriage, but built an even stronger marriage on the other side. In this interview they share how they did it, and what they wish they'd known back then when they started their journey.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

A candid discussion. Five women share their stories of their husband's affairs, and how they recovered. Each of them offers words of wisdom for those who are eating the dust behind them. How did they make the shifts inside themselves to begin to navigate their recovery from a place of strength and power. What were some of the things that caused their husband's to shift their perspectives, and and start changing for the better.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

So many nuggets to help any person working to recover from marital betrayal. What inspired Beyond Affairs? How did the Healing from Affairs 3-day retreat for couples come into being? How was The Recovery Roadmap drawn? How many couples has Beyond Affairs helped?Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Anne Bercht was asked to give a workshop on the topic of forgiveness at a church women's conference. This workshop focuses on all forgiveness, not just betrayal forgiveness. Since it was delivered to a church group, Anne delivers the workshop from a Biblical perspective on forgiveness, and shares Bible passages as well as personal stories of how God has worked forgiveness in her own life.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Brian Bercht speaks with a group of betrayed women, answering questions about the unfaithful. 1) How can we get to where you and Anne are? 2) How do I get reassurance from my husband without him feeling like I am attacking him? 3) Can I help my husband make the switch from feeling shame to helping me? 4) How do I get my husband to open up? 5) Why did he turn to someone else for comfort and not to me? 6) How is it not my fault, if I know I did take my husband for granted? And more ....Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Several women share their stories. Unfortunately not every marriage can be saved after infidelity. And you don't have control over your spouse's choices. In this podcast, one woman in particular shares the painful unexpected journey of divorce after her husband left her for a much younger woman, and how she found healing on the other side.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

In an earlier episode, Tom, Paul & Michael shared their stories and what they did to heal their marriages. Today we hear from their wives, Allison, Luanne & Tertia. After the bottom dropped out of their marriages with the unthinkable, what did their husbands do that helped them to love and trust their husband's again.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Anne Bercht interviews 3 very different women, with very different stories of marital betrayal. How they have not only survived their husband's affair/s, but are learning to thrive on the other side.Yes, you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want.www.beyondaffairs.com 360.306.3367

Brian Bercht interviews 3 different men, each with unique stories, who have turned their lives around after their marital unfaithfulness, helped their wives heal, and restored their families. Each honestly and candidly shares their mistakes as well as their secrets to success.

A redemption story.  Listen to this couple share their hard work and dedication to one - another.  Reconciliation and finding an even better journey post betrayal is possible.

These are wise words from an expert in infidelity.  Don't miss this special episode with guest speaker - Linda McDonald.  

Bert's story - when your wife is unfaithful.... a lot of helpful information that applies to couples where the husband is unfaithful.

Kim had an affair with her boss and kept it a secret.  Listen to this interview and learn how Mike & Kim navigated through the most difficult of times in their relationship.  Let this couple be your inspiration...for they now have a thriving marriage post affair.

Anne interviews Ronda, who once thought she could never survive betrayal and struggled with intense anger.  Find out what steps Ronda took, the lessons she learned, and where "the turn around" happened for Ronda's marriage.

The title states it all...In this podcast Anne addresses ALL things related to betrayal trauma.  It's important to understand what this is and how this looks.  

The healing journey begins with hope. You need to know and believe you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want. It does take two. Some people think you can never get over it. That's not true. True healing is remembering the affair (you won't forget such a big event in your life), but no longer having pain associated with the memory.Listen to part 2 with Brian and Anne as they discuss the remaining  key elements when it comes to healing your marriage after betrayal.

The healing journey begins with hope. You need to know and believe you can move beyond the pain and get the life you want. It does take two. Some people think you can never get over it. That's not true. True healing is remembering the affair (you won't forget such a big event in your life), but no longer having pain associated with the memory.Listen to part 1 of 9 essential key elements when it comes to healing your marriage after betrayal. 

Brian and Anne talk about 10 strategies to help you through the holiday season.

Part 2 of Personal Style with Dr. Ken Keis! Hear from the professional who is your expert when it comes to understanding self - discovery.

Why aren't you more like me?This is not only a question we as individuals ask ourselves...but it's also a fascinating book title, written by author Dr. Ken Keis.Dr. Keis is a personal friend to Brian and Anne Bercht, and has discovered how to improve your life through self-awareness.  When you are struggling to work through your interactions with your spouse (or partner)...it's important that YOU understand how YOU tick.  The Personal Style Indicator is a very impactful assessment; Brian and Anne have found this element to be foundational in their teachings.  

There is no set rule about whether you should tell your children or not. Each couple, each situation and each family is different. I recommend that as a mother and father, both parents get as much information as they can, then come together and discuss your unique situation and the best course of action for your family. Ideally,  you both should decide and agree together on whether or not to talk to your children about the affair.What are your motives for wanting to tell your children about an affair?Be honest with yourself here. If your motive for telling is because you, the betrayed spouse, want sympathy and want your children to know what a dirt-bag their other parent is, DO NOT TELL THEM. If your motive is anything less than to improve their lives, and create more closeness with them by gifting them with truth, you should NOT tell.Listen with Anne, as she discusses this question, bringing her own unique story to life...  

Sometimes you can find healing through betrayal when you listen to the perspective of the unfaithful.  As a betrayed spouse, when we ask our unfaithful husband questions, we can't HEAR the answer.  What I mean by HEAR the answer...is that we know what they are saying, but it doesn't reach our heart.  Listen to Brian share a piece of his journey, as he explains the mind of the unfaithful.  Perhaps you will HEAR his perspective.

These are not necessarily "secrets"... Anne and Brian want to be open about what they feel having a healed marriage looks like.  Healing after betrayal is not linear...and it's intense; however, you need the effort from BOTH spouses.  If one spouse is not willing to change, then a healed marriage won't work.    Listen to Brian and Anne discuss 8 things they feel are important when working towards reconciliation.  Remember..."you are on a journey to a destination...."

Anne discusses the depth of her personal experience...and what forgiveness meant to her.  She gets it.  She has the perspective as a betrayed spouse and currently is able to live life freely without a tinge of resentment or bitterness to Brian.  We can all learn from others who have been there.  We added an extra episode on forgiveness, as we feel that this topic comes with challenges.

How do you find forgiveness?  This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that some professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to part II with Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.

How do you find forgiveness?  This is a common question that seems to be the very thing every betrayed spouse wants to know.  We find that many professionals and even pastors or leaders can give advice around this topic that is NOT the most beneficial perspective.  Forgiveness might not be what you think it is; we find that forgiveness is a process...not necessarily step one.  Listen to Anne (and guest speaker Jaylene) as they discuss what forgiveness looks like.

Knowing how to navigate conversations with your partner in a productive fashion can be really difficult, especially in the midst of betrayal recovery.  Listen to Anne as she points out some of the most important concepts to think about before you engage in that hard discussion.  Be in a mindset that has a clear goal in mind - and remember, anger is RARELY productive, so don't let this emotion overshadow your intent!

The life Brian had built, the family Brian had raised, the friends he'd made and the church he'd been attending were all about to be damaged as a result of his actions.Brian had an affair. It was the very thing that only a few months earlier he would have held others in contempt for.“How did he end up doing the very thing he thought he never could?”Brian discusses his choices and the things that led up to him having an affair.  Listen to part two his story, as he paints the unfaithful's perspective.

The life Brian had built, the family Brian had raised, the friends he'd made and the church he'd been attending were all about to be damaged as a result of his actions.Brian had an affair. It was the very thing that only a few months earlier he would have held others in contempt for.“How did he end up doing the very thing he thought he never could?”Brian discusses his choices and the things that led up to him having an affair.  Listen to his story, as he paints the unfaithful's perspective.

We have boundaries around our property. If you have a fence between your yard and your neighbor's yard, it is very clear, which part belongs to you, and which part belongs to him. We respect these boundaries. I can't just suddenly decide I'd rather sit in my neighbor's yard on a hot summer day, without getting his permission.  And if I do sit in his yard, without his consent, I have violated a boundary.  Likely my neighbor will enforce his boundary and ensure that I leave. If he doesn't, he may begin to experience stress.Other boundaries are less visible, but they are no less real.  In life it's as if we all have our own private front yard and backyard. It is the part of our lives that belongs to us and it is our responsibility. The problem is... other people have a tendency to throw their garbage in our yard.  It doesn't belong in our yard.  It is their responsibility.Listen to Anne, as she helps you navigate and understand "boundaries."  Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle; they define who we are and who we are not.

We have boundaries around our property. If you have a fence between your yard and your neighbor's yard, it is very clear, which part belongs to you, and which part belongs to him. We respect these boundaries. I can't just suddenly decide I'd rather sit in my neighbor's yard on a hot summer day, without getting his permission.  And if I do sit in his yard, without his consent, I have violated a boundary.  Likely my neighbor will enforce his boundary and ensure that I leave. If he doesn't, he may begin to experience stress.Other boundaries are less visible, but they are no less real.  In life it's as if we all have our own private front yard and backyard. It is the part of our lives that belongs to us and it is our responsibility. The problem is... other people have a tendency to throw their garbage in our yard.  It doesn't belong in our yard.  It is their responsibility.Listen to Anne, as she helps you navigate and understand "boundaries."  Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle; they define who we are and who we are not.

Listen to episode two of Anne and Brian's story of their affair journey.  Anne shares the brutal details via healing from betrayal; and provides the honest truth to what it took for her to realize her own strength.  Affair recovery is unique to every story and the steps an individual takes depends on numerous factors.  Anne shares her perspective and provides you with many resources that can be applicable to one's own story. 

I had been married for eighteen years when my unwanted infidelity experience began.  I was shocked. There had been no warning signs.  Words cannot begin to describe the intense pain I felt when I heard my husband say the words, “Anne, I've been seeing someone else.” There was physical pain, not just emotional pain.  Chaos ensued.  Wrong reactions made a bad situation worse...and from that broken place, we rebuilt our marriage.Today, I want to share with you my story.  Journey with me as I go back to my own personal nightmare; listen to me as I share with you the "nitty-gritty" details of betrayal and the intense pain that superseded our marriage.  Learn from my mistakes and let my story help you find your own personal victory.