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SlimFast almost has the DIY spirit, and Lazlo gets pissed at people complaining about the soccer hydration breaks. Lazlo spends like 10 minutes researching penis enlargement before FINALLY talking about Chris Johnson's ALS diagnosis. A mom is furious that Lazlo said "Big Dick," and Summer is way too excited for the new Minions movie. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
The A/C is broken, and it's HOT. If you want to make it big, start betting real money on Taylor Swift's wedding. TMZ got a new Nancy Guthrie letter. Lazlo explains how he got fired from Little Caesars, and SlimFast is working old sperm. Trump has surprised Lazlo with the Iran war, and a psychic is officially on an apology tour after false-predicting an alien invasion. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo and SlimFast talk with former NFL punter Chris Kluwe about his journey from the NFL to becoming a full-blown social activist. They get into football, social media, and how Kluwe got into California politics.
SlimFast played Cheerleader football, and Lazlo was hoping to bang some Brazilian woman at Oak Park Mall. Buckeyes' are SHOCKING. Where are Lazlo and Slim's invitations to Travis and Taylor's wedding? Lazlo gets pissed at a high school baseball game. Why take a shower before the pool if everyone pisses in it? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
SlimFast's ‘ex' was a respectable dancer, not a whore. Do you think Bill Gates ever bought his (alleged) Russian prostitutes a tempo? Lazlo calls out SlimFast for taking the Whitney Houston high road. SlimFast thinks his grandpa is Clive Davis, and Lazlo addresses the Reddit comments head-on. Lazlo says Summer looks miserable to date, and it does not go over well. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo feels a little naked without his wallet. The guys haven't talked about Nancy Guthrie OR Baby Lisa in a long time. Don't grab your phone when it falls in the poo poo pee pee hole. Who CARES that Crumbl has a lot of sugar? Lazlo and SlimFast peer pressure Summer to take a shot. Young men, go drink Kentucky bourbon and get laid. Millennials, post more. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Has Lazlo done his annual backflip yet? The reflecting pool drama is so dumb, and Lazlo swears he will not participate in Teslas, Paramount, or UFC. Poodles either hump someone, or are on their way to hump something. Happy Father's Day to those who choose not to be fathers! Lazlo and SlimFast talk about their dicks, and they also spend a weird amount of time talking about their pubes. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo and Summer finally have air conditioning, and the guys are slowly getting used to the idea of Snap Specs. Kansas City is in the nation's news. Without social media, kids are probably just going to play Kick the Can. The guys debate the Iran peace deal, and talk to Josh Vernier on what the Royals rotation may look like in 2027. A teacher got caught having sex in the back of a car with a student; SlimFast is more shocked that she was a football coach. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo got freaky with SlimFast's wife. Is debtors' prison real? Lazlo immediately knows his groceries are going to be messed up if the delivery guy's name is Steve. Our boss asked SlimFast to dial back the drunks. Would you pay fifty bucks for a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza? Lazlo's seeing someone and wants to get a no-eared dog named Bombpop. SlimFast thinks he can undercut the local poop squad. China has a robot toilet that comes to you. Where's the robot that blows you? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Where is our beloved sex toy, Mother?! Lazlo and SlimFast agree on one thing: America was founded on winners and losers, not ties. Snooki remains Lazlo's favorite little meatball, while SlimFast pitches the next hit reality show: White Trash Love Island. SlimFast shows Lazlo his AI porn, and the guys really enjoy targeted advertising. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo thought Trump's UFC event was great, and he went on the Schlitterbahn ride 3 days before the tragic incident. SlimFast is geeked over by the people who got rich off of Space X. Lazlo and SlimFast argue over the existence of trillionaires, and want to emphasize: Do NOT bungee jump or get in a helicopter in Brazil. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo's tinnitus is acting up: Or is it the non-stop fire alarm? Lazlo is absolutely devastated about the Home Improvement reboot being held up. Trump Mobile is about to be released, and SlimFast is scared of the kids riding E-Bikes in Walmart. What soccer teams line up with college football? SlimFast was a little too into Glenn Close. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo pooped his pants when he was a professor, and Booger Eater helped sell glow sticks at Downtown Days. Bring back the Jim Rose Circus. What's so wrong about being a feeder content-house? SlimFast is anti breast feeding; He wants his baby to get used to processed food early on. Lazlo is actually banned from Canada, and has some strong opinions regarding Brendan Sorsby. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
SlimFast got a new pair of pants after Lazlo lost ANOTHER big sports bet. Trump got booed at the Knicks game, and Slim's mom HATED him listening to Michael Jackson growing up. Lazlo is concerned Apple might take away his ability to get porn and drugs online, while the guys send their thoughts and prayers to the screw-worm scientists. Plus, homeless poop is very different from soccer mom poop, and SlimFast's house is sinking into a depression. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Kansas City, we do NOT have the second largest urban park. Everyone's punching out of their weight class, and it was a pretty violent weekend for the metro. Lazlo and SlimFast have their first Divorce Monday with Slims' lawyer brother, Joshua Mathews. God punished Slim for jacking it, and Lazlo's Dad discovered his poop porn. Would you pay to go see the AI Ozzy performance? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
SlimFast and Summer love to gossip, and Lazlo doesn't have the best reputation with his exes. There's ANOTHER kindergarten brawl. GoFundMe's for old people is just sad, and it's hard to date someone with kids when you don't have any. The lady with the leaky balloon knot is back in the news. Lazlo places his sports bets for tonight's Knicks game. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
That French son-of-a-bitch made Lazlo's asshole bleed. Should Bonnie Blu have a golden shower at her baby shower? SlimFast is definitely NOT on the sex offenders list. The guys talk with Vern about where the Royals stand. Are Lazlo and Slim actually happy? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
HUGE update with the banned youth baseball coach. Women are taking over the world, so Lazlo and SlimFast are scared. Trump wants a dollar with his face on it, and the guys HATE camping. There's a ton of drama over at 60 Minutes. There's a fine line when you decide to yell at your boss. Kids are turning their backs on goldfish, and Slim realizes he was the second poorest kid in his school. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo went to marriage counseling, and fantasizes about watching Rob Stewart with SlimFasts' mom. Sabrina Carpenter is getting stalked. SlimFast has a LOT riding on these sports bets. If it's bright red you're good; But if it's dark red, eat beets. Trump apparently cussed out Netanyahu. Lazlos is trying to get a dog that doesn't piss itself whenever it thunders, and SlimFast is worried that he'll come across as a pedophile. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Aw, Lazlo and SlimFast have their matching gay shirts on today! Was Tom Hardy booted from MobLand? SlimFast is here for Stedman, not Oprah. Pre-9/11, you could get a hotdog without getting jumped. Throwing a 70 mph speedball into the opposing teams dugout isn't the answer, coach. New polymarket bet! SlimFast predicted Nancy Guthrie will be found in September. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Is our boss listening to us right now…? A cougar is basically a predator. Lazlo doesn't think Jaxon Dart made the right move. Throwing a Nazi salute to make a point? Probably not the best strategy. Is stolen valor really that serious? Plus, Lazlo and SlimFast debate whether Patrick Mahomes should sit out the first couple games to protect that ACL. Stream The Church of Lazlo on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Chris Hansen is BACK! Where's the best hamburger? Lazlo tries to get SlimFast in on his vending machine business. A woman with no hand was ticketed for using a phone while driving, and Kansas City placed dead last in cities ready for the big soccer tournament coming up. Lazlo' s a big porn advocate. Pastors have two words of advice: Find God, and lose at least 20 to 30 lbs. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Dorm life sucks, and Lazlo basically lives with two roommates. Lazlo thinks Will Levis should just own it. Lazlos is going to choose to NOT get into the kindergarten brawl. Would you pay a million to go see Trumps' UFC fight? Lazlo and SlimFast debate becoming celebrity assistants. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Who the hell is Marilu Henner? And has Lazlo completely given up on the Kansas City Royals? Lazlo and SlimFast have plenty of questions about Mackenzie Shirilla's case. People getting worked up over the Hooters uniforms is just weird, and don't go outside unless you want Lyme Disease. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Liz and Becca confess every fad diet they tried before becoming functional health practitioners — Atkins, SlimFast, Weight Watchers, Hydroxycut, the Beyoncé Cleanse, Shakeology, It Works wraps, the 17 Day Diet, and more. Two former "fat girls" break down why every quick fix failed, why crash diets cause weight rebound, and what actually works for sustainable fat loss, hormone balance, and metabolic flexibility. If you've yo-yo dieted, chugged apple cider vinegar, or wasted thousands on supplements that didn't work — this episode is for you. *** CONNECT:
Happy Graduation! Little Frankie flew away in the storm. RIP Mark Fuhrman. Would you be a peeping tom in your freeze time? A manager has two jobs; Count the cash, and make sure no teen poops in the fryer. Lyfts' are MUCH worse than Ubers. SlimFast accuses Lazlo of paying for someone's abortion. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Follow the running back, Dave. Lazlo and SlimFast are gonna start a little league baseball team. Everyone's boo-ing AI, and you should NOT watch the new Peacock AI documentary if you're high. Lazlo doesn't think he could win against Rhonda Rousey, someone left a note on Summers' car, and RIP Shlitz Beer. Red Button or Blue Button? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo is angry this morning. Men, AND WOMEN, please stop wearing sandals. SlimFast has a big, fat crush on Kouri Richins, and Josh Vernier agrees that Witt is killing it in the Royals. Hot or rich? Shawnee Mission High Schools are pushing back against the Department of Education. Did we get solid proof that Bigfoot is real? Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo is NOT a fan of the sourdough Chiefs schedule release. RIP Brandon Clark; Maybe don't accuse a guy of trafficking kratom. Eminem's ex-wife is looking a little… rough. PLEASE make sure your dating app picture is updated. The guys place their sports bets, and SlimFast is apparently the new star of The Bear. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo and SlimFast are sick, golf is impossible, and a guy exploded in an airplane engine. Lazlo tiptoes around hantavirus talk after his controversial COVID takes. SlimFasts' TERRIFIED of teenagers, and Lazlo would just set them on fire. The Church of Lazlo is open to promote propaganda! And let the people own an airline! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo and SlimFast sit down with Nate Bukaty to talk about his journey through radio and the path that led him to Apple TV. Bukaty gets the guys excited for soccer, talks about Kansas City history, and gives a look into his writing process for his book Perfect Pitch. You see him for his book signing at Rainy Day Books on Thursday, May 28th.
SlimFast has what fibromyalgia probably feels like, and Lazlo is upset about an Olathe Schools policy. Is hantavirus going to be the new Covid? Prison would be better than the high school boys locker room. Porn has influenced the guys a LOT, and Lazlos' son tried standup for the first time. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dianna Russini is a HOT name, and Lazlos' raging over school paperwork. Where are all the forks? And don't risk your life over sprite. Have you ever been dry humped? Karens are BACK! Lazlo and SlimFast talk to Royals Insider Josh Vernier about the recent Royals games and player injuries. If you donate your body to science, be aware that they'll probably be blown up in a La-Z-Boy. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Someone not hearing you might be the ultimate defense. The GameStop CEO sounds exactly like you'd expect a GameStop CEO to sound. SlimFast doesn't own any luxury brands, and the guys think a travel vlogger is a massive baby. Ever passed a kidney stone? Slim's already planning Lazlo's son's grad party. How many Catholic priests are actually pedophiles? And Britney Spears has pleaded guilty. Lazlo also responds to Reddit about artists pulling back from concerts. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
SlimFast sits down with his lawyer-brother-dad, Joshua Mathews, to talk about his journey into law, break down common misconceptions surrounding high-profile trials, and dive into the realities of divorce. You can find him at www.mathewsgrouponline.com. To send in questions to ask Joshua during Mondays' show, message @ChurchofLazlo on Instagram.
Drugs are making Lazlo forgetful, and he is VERY uncomfortable when comedians bomb. Lazlo's son can no longer eat cream cheese because of Epstein. Lazlo' s pretty content with the white-thing he has going. Katy Perry is in hot water AGAIN! Lazlo would like a penis show from SlimFast. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Today's episode is a blast from the past. Think back to your favorite childhood snacks: Lunchables, Dunkaroos, SlimFast bars, and fat-free everything. Did these foods quietly wire you for a lifetime of complicated food choices? If you've ever wondered why you're chasing charcuterie boards and still tracking diet trends, this episode will hit differently. Jenn Trepeck of Salad With a Side of Fries opens the snack drawer of nostalgia and compares iconic 90s foods side by side with their modern counterparts, reading actual ingredient labels from both eras. From Slim Jims to grass-fed jerky, from Crystal Light to electrolyte packets, the names have changed, but the marketing playbook looks surprisingly familiar. The 90s were a wild time for nutrition, and the truth about what was actually in these foods might shock you. This one is equal parts fun, eye-opening, and genuinely useful.What You Will Learn in This Episode:✅ How the fat-free diet culture of the 90s quietly transformed into today's protein-packed wellness obsession, and why they are more similar than different.✅ The shocking differences in food labels from the 90s versus today, using real ingredient comparisons from Wonder Bread, Kraft Mac and Cheese and McDonald's French Fries.✅ Why do so many modern processed foods contain lab-made additives, cheaper fillers, and synthetic ingredients and what economic incentives are driving those formulations?✅ How the thin ideal has returned with new tools, including GLP-1 medications and social media, echoing the same harmful messaging that defined 90s diet culture.The Salad With a Side of Fries podcast, hosted by Jenn Trepeck, explores real-life wellness and weight-loss topics, debunking myths, misinformation, and flawed science surrounding nutrition and the food industry. Let's dive into wellness and weight loss for real life, including drinking, eating out, and skipping the grocery store.TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Welcome to a nostalgic deep dive into 90s diet culture and iconic snack foods04:34 Blast from the past: Hamburger helper, fruit roll-ups, Shake ‘n Bake, Lunchables and Kids Cuisine09:18 Comparing SnackWell's to today's Halo Top and the evolution of "guilt-free" processed foods10:47 From SlimFast bars to protein shakes, how fat-free diet culture shaped a generation's eating habits and the upgrade from mystery meat to clean protein-packed snacking12:32 I Can't Believe It's Not Butter and spray dressings; then versus now in food additives and fats15:32 Dunkaroos to Nutella Dippers and Capri Sun to cold-press juice, beloved nostalgia snacks revisited20:37 Reading real food labels, Wonder Bread's original ingredients versus today's chemical-laden version and Kraft Mac and Cheese24:36 McDonald's French Fries in 2000 had three ingredients; today's list is a chemistry lesson28:22 Food dyes and how to change the food industry33:42 Diet culture is back, the return of the thin ideal, heroin chic, and skeletal beauty standards driven by social media36:15 Biohacking, orthorexia, and GLP-1 medications and new names for the same old diet culture pressure39:19 Is 90s nostalgia fueling heroin chic, or is heroin chic fueling 90s nostalgia43:13 Processed food chemicals, plastics, and rising colon cancer rates and the long-term health cost of 90s snack foods44:01 Convenience culture of the 90s versus today KEY TAKEAWAYS:
Lazlo and SlimFast debate…clocks? Feral kids are probably not too happy. SlimFast pooped in a purse to feel loved, and the guys brainstormed how to get away with killing someone. Lazlo gives 60 second advice. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Can people even hear us? The guys talk about the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Not being able to move sucks, and not being able to dodge a foul ball sucks even more. What happens when Lazlo takes too long on a smoke break? A Louisianan restaurant is (allegedly) cooking roadkill. Lazlo and SlimFast have no interest in seeing the Michael Jackson biopic. Don't go to jail in Japan. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo and SlimFast talk to Kansas City's Ghost Hunter, Marie Jackson. Marie tells the guys about what led her to Ghost Hunting, and what really happened with their paranormal experiences. Her full story is in the book, Ten Feet Under. You can explore her investigations at https://ghostlinkproductions.com/, watch Ghost Link TV on YouTube, and find more content on Instagram @spiritual_gatekeeper
Lazlo and SlimFast figure out how to vote on politics, and talk about the NFL draft. An influencer leaves Lazlo ACTUALLY disturbed. WWE is one of our last true art-forms, and Lazlo saw snakes while tripping. If you're a pedo or a serial killer, just end it. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
SlimFasts' wife secretly hates that he takes her car to work. If you want to make money, rob the dorks at the Pokemon store. Celestes' cause of death was released, and Mr.Beast is in hot water. Josh Vernier talks about the latest Royals losses. SlimFast censored Lazlo. Lazlos' opening a new strip club called ‘The Blue Circle.' Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Morning people get way more respect, and we should have more trade schools. Lazlo and SlimFast are going to open a new building; a hybrid of bars, batting cages, and cobblers. Highschoolers in Topeka took the weinermobile to prom. Some people just show their vagina and poop on the playground. Tipping is out of control. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Jon Ham has good advice. No one remembers Harry Caray. D4vd was FINALLY arrested, and Lazlo wants to stop talking about dead kids. Did Brock Lesnar actually retire? SlimFast wishes you a happy 4/20! Lazlo does not. Everyone is from Virginia, and crime rates are down due to (probably) abortion. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Christian Rock bands are fighting with churches, and Slim is confused by influencers. Lazlo would shoot SlimFast if he was drafted into war. “Secretary of War,” is not a cool title at all. Lazlo is the original founder of the manosphere, and the guys talk to Vern. Hegseth quoted our opening intro. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo is sleeping with Slims' mom, and tells the stories from his record label. RFK Jr collected a raccoon penis. If it's not on The Risk map, Lazlo doesn't know where it is. Does diet coke cure cancer? Lazlo and SlimFast argue about tax day, and Slims' moving to the middle of nowhere to a trailer. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Is AI going to allow a 3-day work week? Lazlo and SlimFast don't think so. It's a win-win that Jason Whitlock talked crap on-air. Lazlo lost his job after hitting a guy with a phone. SlimFast found out the salary of the guy who burned down the California warehouse. ANOTHER hooker got arrested, and the Ketamine Queen was arrested. The guys talk Royals with Vern, and discuss Iran. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo got an MRI, and MICHIGAN WON! SlimFast promises to stop talking about Nancy Guthrie. Does getting on Ozempic cause divorce? A school board member was caught on mic calling a student hot. There's a huge rise in AI artists and AI Ads. Aliens have been confirmed to be totally real, and SlimFast has joined a new club! Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
How much does it cost to get a 90's equivalent of a 3k car? Legal driving ages are confusing. What things did you like as a kid? SlimFast and Summer roughly explain Lazlo the recent Lawrence drama. Tiger Woods' DUI bodycam footage was released. A new parenting hack is going viral that will stop your kids from having tantrums, and Lazlo gives the weekend sports bets. Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!
Lazlo refuses to share his doctor with SlimFast, and Lindsey Mac (from Fleetwood Mac) got attacked. Would Lazlo recommend joining the army? The guys talk to Josh Vernier about the Royals. Lazlo HATES space and wizards. SlimFasts' house is getting foreclosed on, and he's moving in with Lazlo. Lazlo gets forced into a Birthday celebration (and even puts on a party hat). Stream The Church of Lazlo podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts!