Dating Kinky

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A ‘cast about love, sex, romance, and kink.

Dating Kinky


    • Oct 31, 2022 LATEST EPISODE
    • monthly NEW EPISODES
    • 7m AVG DURATION
    • 433 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Dating Kinky

    A Dating Kinky Podcast Reboot & Unsolicited Advice

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 31, 2022 8:18


    Unsolicited advice is something I've been personally noodling for a bit, especially in regards to personal boundaries and ethics.

    Happy Birthday to Nookie!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 30, 2022 7:41


    Welcome back to me! I guess I kind of just disappeared. And I didn't mean to. I meant to say something, do something, let people know... But I didn't. And I apologize for that.

    Nonmonogamy: one plus one is 1, one plus two is 3, and one plus three is 6.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2022 12:41


    To "do relationships" well, there are two factors that must be considered: 1. The individuals involved. 2. The relationships.

    Do you reward the minor improvements?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 27, 2022 10:58


    Or, do you punish the lack of perfection? I'll admit, I do both. It's hard, sometimes, to recognize that things are getting better when they are frustrating AF, and maybe even something you take personally.

    8 Tips to Communicating Compassionately

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2022 11:55


    I've covered priorities, openness and respect in communication. Today, I'm tackling compassion.

    A prayer for your love...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2022 3:25


    Not sure where this came from, except from the heart today. I wish all of this for all of you.

    Throwback Thursday: A Few Thoughts On Need...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 10:00


    I've always thought Meatloaf had it backwards. He sang, "I want you. I need you, but there ain't no way I'm ever going to love you..."

    The balance of power exchange and romance...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2022 14:00


    When you have power exchange relationship with romance, you actually have two relationships: Power exchange dynamic + Romantic

    The business of kink...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 20, 2022 12:19


    One thing I've noticed in kink—versus the swinging world or nearly any other passion/hobby communities I've been in—kinksters as a whole do not believe the value of kink.

    There is rampant slut-shaming in polyamory/nonmonogamy communities.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2022 8:29


    I don't NEED a partner. (Neither do you, I bet.)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 15, 2022 13:51


    I began to realize that while I didn't need another human to make my way through the world, especially one specific other human, the way love stories always suggested, I did want that partner.

    My best sex life started at 40.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 13, 2022 5:32


    I'm not the only one who has said that sex has gotten better as we've walked over that hill. And it's not just for women, either.

    What does communicating with respect look like?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 11, 2022 13:40


    Whether you feel respect will play a big part in whether or not they feel respected. A lack of respect bleeds through into everything you communicate.

    Where are ALL the creepsters?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2022 11:18


    And I don't find that all the people in kink (or dating, or whatever) are creepy. Not even most of them. Not even most of the (gasp) men.

    Tit-For-Tat is ABSOLUTELY NOT a safe, sane, and consensual relationship

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2022 12:27


    If you really love someone, the LAST thing you want to do is to cause them hurt.

    SPH: I've always looked for the tiny treasures...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2022 9:11


    A large and loud truck went by our outdoor gathering of kinky folk. Cue the usual jokes about masculine size compensation. I stopped them. Because consensual SPH is NOT acceptable. But consensual? Well, that's another story.

    So, you want a consensual non-consent relationship?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 4, 2022 9:35


    A big part of CNC is developing the trust that you both ultimately want the same sorts of things from your kink and personal lives.

    How can some people get off so much more easily than others?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 1, 2022 10:01


    Some may be born with a predisposition to pleasure. But since we can't know what potential we are born with, it's up to us to try new things, practice our exercises, and see where we can go and what we can feel.

    Do you even 24/7, bruh?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2022 11:30


    One of the questions I get repeatedly: "Is 24/7 right for me?" It's an easy answer, once you have all the moving parts in place: Definitions, Negotiations, Expectations

    How open are you in your communication? How open should you be?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 27, 2022 14:54


    Are you open enough? Are you authentic with your words and feelings? Do you offer what you need to offer to make your priorities happen?

    The problem with positivity...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2022 10:44


    Humans are at their best when they experience a wide range of emotions in life. O'erweening positivity can deny the validity of many not-so-positive emotions and minimize the human experience.

    Friendzoned? That's Because You're A Buttnugget.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2022 10:14


    Some people seem to think that friendship is an action you perform to get sex out of someone.

    What is your communication style?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2022 11:13


    If we have different best ways of learning, perhaps we have different best ways of receiving information from others that are similar.

    Do men need to love women more?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 20, 2022 9:11


    I'm not sure I have ever really been as deep in the trenches of the men versus women war as I was on this day.

    What are the (kinky) odds?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2022 6:24


    Trying to find that vanilla love (which is a multi-billion dollar industry) and on top of that, adding in the extra desires (needs) of kink and it's 31 (31,000?) flavors can be pretty daunting.

    Throwback Thursday: For Those Who Stand Up After Trauma...

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 16, 2022 10:06


    In January of 2016, I wrote about recovering from trauma, and I sometimes go back to that writing that I did for someone else to help them—to help myself.

    I learned something from Johnny Depp's Trial! (aka, The 3 Necessary Stages of Trauma Recovery)

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2022 15:26


    This clip made it all so clear to me: the 3 stages of working through trauma.

    What are you trying to get out of this conversation?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2022 12:51


    What you want in this moment from this conversation will make a HUGE difference in how and what you communicate.

    When "No" doesn't mean "No."

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2022 15:19


    YOUR "No" is allowed to mean anything you want it to. "Banana" can mean no. Or yes. Or "remember that time that we were at the zoo, and that money made a rude gesture with it's banana?"

    What is realistic to want in a relationship?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2022 9:30


    A lot of dating advice says something like, "Be realistic in your expectations," and they are right. Not RIGHT, but right.

    No, consent does not mean it's not bad for you.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 6, 2022 13:27


    "Do you think consent equates to no harm?" Obviously not. People say there are no stupid questions. But there are. This is one of them.

    Can you "break" yourself masturbating?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2022 7:21


    Have you heard yet about "dead vagina syndrome?"

    Your Ex: Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde? Actually, It's You AND Them.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 2, 2022 10:36


    It's always fascinating when someone writes about how awesome their lover is when they are together and just trash them once the relationship ends. Were they dating two different people?

    I don't do newbies.

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2022 11:28


    "Go learn and do your own emotional labor before trying to involve me. I don't have the patience to date you and be your poly sherpa. Pick one! Lol"

    Communication is a TOOL. Not a solution.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 30, 2022 12:57


    Communication only works positively if people WANT to work together.

    Reward what you want in your life.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2022 11:00


    A simple and brilliant strategy: Reward what you want in your life. Ignore or do not reward what you don't want in your life.

    Communication Is NOT The Most Important Part Of A Relationship—Kinky Or Otherwise

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2022 9:05


    Communication is NOT enough. You need this, too.

    What does "No" mean?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2022 8:31


    "No" does not mean "ask me why and argue with me about the validity of my decision."

    What is Brenett's Law?* (Hint: It's about where the power lies in relationships.)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 23, 2022 8:11


    Do you think that any specific gender has innate power over another?

    Are you a mind reader?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2022 12:12


    People who believe you can read minds, often believe that they can, too.

    You ARE Worthy...

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2022 7:58


    Some people will tell you that you're not and you need to change to be worthy. I disagree with this.

    Trust is 99% this...

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2022 8:05


    I've realized that the TRUST is not about them. It was never about them.

    Foreplay and aftercare are far more than they seem (to me).

    Play Episode Listen Later May 16, 2022 8:10


    To me, they are so much more than some time before and after sex/kink/play.

    I am not your 'safe' friend.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2022 7:47


    I don't want to be everyone's safe space. I can't. I don't have the energy, and frankly, that's not my priority.

    Throwback: Unconditional Relationships? *cough cough* BULLSHIT!

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2022 15:30


    Over the years, I've had a lot of feels about the idea of "unconditional." Here are a few from years previous.

    Fear biters (no, not the sexy kind of bite!)

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2022 9:18


    Fearful people will seem fine until they are not, often seeming to change instantly from smiling and sweet to biting and snapping.

    Unpopular Opinion: I don't believe in unconditional love.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2022 6:33


    I don't want to know that I made you feel love for me yesterday or 13 days ago, or on your birthday last year, but that you love me now, today.

    Are FemDoms required to take on more emotional labor than dominants of other genders?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2022 13:38


    Quick answer: No. But they often do, and it's pretty much sort of expected of them.

    "What's Wrong?" "Nothing." "Ok."

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2022 17:32


    If someone says nothing is wrong when you ask, believe them (or act like you do). They have a right to their mental privacy.

    Stuck in crisis? Journaling may be an answer.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2022 9:23


    I start out with a question, usually 'How am I feeling?' and the date. Then, I answer the question.

    Do what works.

    Play Episode Listen Later May 2, 2022 8:27


    I don't preach nonmonogamy (although I sometimes want to). In fact, I've said it before, poly or nonmonogamy are not for everyone.

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