Have A Nice Day

Send us a textEpisode 1 of two part series. Rate. Review. Or we fight.Just copy and past this: I listened fully tucked! Only way to listen! 5 stars!Episode Minutes:John Wilkes Booth as Emilio Estevez or whateverBig gay BrutusMethod actingLinkshttps://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/https://www.instagram.com/mattc_comedy/

Send us a textPlease rate and review. I can see the people who listen. It takes five seconds. leave a review. screenshot it. send it to our instagram. I'll send you free merch. We have t-shirts. I'll merch you. Also follow the instagram. if you post a picture of you listening to the episode you'll be entered to win. (contest rules apply, must be fully tucked to be entered for a chance to win)IG: https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/Episode Minutes:Welcome back Jordan B. PetersonBlackBerriesWe show Hole

Send us a textThis is the second episode of our two part series on the battle of Manassas. Thanks again to Joey Duffield. Go follow him on IG. Also follow me on IG. Also rate and review the episode. I mean we have 7 reviews. wtf are you guys doing. you're some of the most difficult fans to deal with in the world. no one else has to deal with this. But that's why we love you. I know i respect the hell out of you guys for it. Keep not reviewing it. The podcast will just be our little secret ;)Episode Minutes: Stonewall Jackson was re(g)ardedPGT Beauregard was (g)eyhttps://www.instagram.com/matthew_deakins/https://www.instagram.com/_joeyduffield_/https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/

Send us a textI can already feel the civil war nerds upset. Please email me everything we got wrong. I would love to hear from you. You are the lifeblood of our community. Episode Minutes:Trad Life = TalibanPGT BeauregardFort SumterRobert E. Lee- kinda sickFeaturing Joey Duffield 

Send us a textUnreal title created by AI. I think it's starting to get us.Welcome back to our Lady Boy contingent in Thailand. We're on our way to being a top 10 comedy podcast in Thailand again and i can't wait.Consider this a bonus episode because I missed last week. We got another episode coming out tomorrow. it's a history episode. pretty excited.Episode Minutes:Cortez and Pizarro: Was it Genocide?Does anyone read these?Go follow all socials and screenshot listening to the episode. DM it to me. that's your homework, dirty boyhttps://www.instagram.com/matthew_deakins/https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/

Send us a textSorry this is late. It was my fault. I'm a bad boy. Tell me how bad I am. Ok sorry. anyways, the podcast is part of the tariffs, so to all our south asian listeners, this is gunna cost you 90% extra for the foreseeable future.Episode Minutes:  Book ReportsJake fights with his wife live on airNinja swordsIG: https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/

Send us a textLol look at Ai glazing usReligious fasting turns into an unexpected data dive when the guys discover Pornhub's analytics show significant drops in specific content during Ramadan. This kickstarts an exploration of cultural oddities that spans continents and decades.Ever wondered why tracksuits became the uniform of Eastern European men? The hosts uncover the surprising status symbol behind Adidas gear in post-Soviet states, revealing how the first Western apparel company allowed behind the Iron Curtain transformed fashion into political currency. This cultural analysis provides genuine insight into how seemingly superficial fashion choices carried profound historical significance during the Cold War.The conversation takes a conspiratorial turn with declassified information about CIA involvement in abstract expressionist art movements. From funding Jackson Pollock to developing "heart attack guns," the hosts speculate about the agency's wildest projects with a comedic lens that makes historical absurdities approachable while questioning the thin line between security operations and madness.Personal stories from Division III football dominate the second half, featuring incompetent coaches, bizarre motivational tactics from questionable "Navy SEALs," and the unique social dynamics that develop in locker rooms. Through authentic, unfiltered anecdotes about team politics and informal "councils," the hosts unpack complex topics like belonging, race, and masculinity with surprising depth beneath their humor.Ready for a journey through religious practices, covert operations, and athletic misadventures? Hit play and join the conversation that proves truth really is stranger than fiction. Don't forget to subscribe and share your favorite moments with us online!

Send us a textman let me level with you. the audio is not great. we tried to use the phone recording app with iphone. audio will be better next week. but content wise. best thing we've made. Just enjoy and please listen to the whole thing before you dm D**thThr**tsEpisode Minutes:WoWEating Utensils Charlize Theron

Send us a textwe had to record this twice because the first episode mike didn't turn his mic on. this one he didn't talk close enough to the mic. there is so much i must overcome and yet i push through. i always push throughEpisode Minutes:The Obama yearsHere's the problem with Alex JonesThe Catholic ChurchVatican ArtDiddyFollow us on IG please: https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/Also Follow Mike: https://www.instagram.com/prettyhurtskurtz/

Send us a textThis one is for all the boys taking it on the shins because their girls are pissed about trump. take out a notepad. yes, it will make the fight worse, but someone has to tell the girls about iraqEpisode Minutes:The iraq warHey Iowa, get a mountainFloyd Family ReunionFeat. Joey Duffield YouTube: Baseball Doesn't ExistInstagram: @_joeyduffield_

Send us a textGo follow us on Instagram. Sh*t man. Why don't you people listen to me? you guys are so difficult. All of you are such free thinkers. Stop. go listen to Sugar by system of a down. When's the last time you guys watched the music video? I forget about that. Do we have to re-invade iraq to get good art again? Featuring:RFK JrBernie SandersOur local imam Episode Minutes:Be yourselfAmerica's a business pimpinCereal

Send us a textyou nasty little gremlins got extra time on this one. this is a fun one. also shout out USAID. I'm gunna miss the CIA slush fund. they were doing genuinely funny shite with that. who's gunna give elephants lsd and trick people with learning disabilities to murder hollywood actresses during tantric sex retreats? I'll miss you guys. RIPEpisode minutes:The fbi lolSpooky SeasonDonald Rumsfeld Go follow Steven and Ross please. for real. please. If you don't... i just... please. they have my familyRoss IG: @rossbenwah_Steven IG: @goodboysoup

Send us a textGive it back to rome. Nah, i'm joking they can keep it... anyways go to latin mass. or maybe spanish mass. i haven't tried spanish mass yet. i might do that this weekend. Genuinely if you're protestant and you listen to this podcast - what are you doing? I mean thank you, sincerely thank you, but wild choice. Episode Minutes:Opus Dei19th Century TwitterClockwork Orange TheoryContact WinstonWebsite: https://beacons.ai/winstonhcomedyInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/winstonhcomedy/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/c/WinstonHodgesDon't Tell Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Fn1pJOqdgc

Send us a textHe's back. This episode is four days late. I understand. I will do better. Stay with us as we build this journey. And please go follow the podcast on instagram IG:https://www.instagram.com/u_have_a_nice_day/Episode Minutes:DEIMenlet me die in a trench in peace please

Send us a textI got concussed before this episode so idk what happened. could be good. could not be. I liked it. who knows. have fun. also go follow the IG account. I want to talk to the people of thailand. shout ahht to the lady boyzEpisode Minutes: I don't rememberThe BTK killerIs it aliens or did you get molested?Don't jzz too hard. it never comes backGo check out all of ryans shit IG: https://www.instagram.com/ryandonahuman/?hl=enDon't Tell Special: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tYKdNRH0KHEWebsite: YT: https://www.youtube.com/@ryandonahuman

Send us a textHad my friend Mike Cannon on. Just working through the back log of old episodes. We'll get caught back up to current events soon. I know you guys want a reunification. So do I. Speaking of reunification, very irish episode. F-ck the prodsHow funny are these chapter names by the way? AI-generated. Crazy we were told this was gunna be the future of the human race. Joe Rogan thinks were gunna merge consciousness with the thing that names chapters on my podcast. Cool Episode Minutes:Irish Jiu JitsuThe TroublesBlackRockFollow him on these platforms:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/iammikecannon/Watch his specials here:Traumatized Animalhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ox42kz7j5mUWhite Privilege Homelesshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5al7VtmR7f4

Send us a text(feat. Matt C and Joe P)I'm not gunna spell their names because they're polish and italian and that's hard. also check out the chapters. AI cohost made that. pretty coolEpisode Minutes:The catholic churchThat's pretty much it. It's a very catholic episodeInstagram:@matt_chrzanowski@joerpappalardo

Send us a textFeaturing Joey Avery. https://www.joeyavery.com/Has a great Don't Tell Comedy special. Watch it here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2nhZt-diOAGo listen to his podcast, The Joey Show here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iqwFQDHB_6g&list=PLXvZi2ovG9jD7qBiCnvjx0s-u5n1i7dzlEpisode Minutes:Nine elevenThe c*m game to infinityThere are no adults

Send us a textDoes anyone listen to these on 1.5 speed? honestly good call. Please tell me how you listen using the links belowEpisode Minutes: The RoadNPRThe Dents and the DecatursFeaturing: Josh Kuderna (https://www.joshkuderna.com/)He has a new special called Have a Blessed Day (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-h8eUX52Lg8)Please follow me on Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/matthew_deakins/orSign up for my Newsletterhttps://www.matthewdeakins.com/contact

Send us a Text Message.Sorry for the Late ep. We'll put another one out on Thursday. It's already recorded.We got some fun stuff coming out. Please rate and review you pieces of sh*tEpisode Minutes:DoD Sales GuysZeppelinsLouis ArmstrongGladiators

Send us a Text Message.Listen. Sorry about what we said about women. You guys are great. We love you. We love your smells. Also everything we said is technically true. Episode Minutes:D.S.Made with LoveShallow Hal

Send us a Text Message.You know what you should do tomorrow? Go to Eucharistic adoration. Put on some Gregorian chants. Andy Elliot, Andrew Tate, Garyvee... they're not gunna tell you shit like that. Find a woman, get her pregnant 9x and take them to mass every sunday. I've never seen a dude in khakis at mass with an astrovan full of children not smiling. and maybe that's a personality trait. but maybe, having nine kids is the key to happiness and you've been sold a lieEpisode Minutes:Special Guest: Lindsey GrahamThe Persian CrusadeGary G

I should get chatGPT to start writing these. Oh i guess I'll tell you this. I opened for the boys from Lemon Party last night. not the three old men in the bathtub having a wank. It's a podcast. Probably referencing the three guys and the tub and all the fun they were having. Get it? Anyways Ben Avery? guy is an absolute unit. I don't think you notice it on the Tim Dillon Show. He looks like a little tinkerbell. he's not. huge guy. Handsome too. Anyways go listen to them, they're coolEpisode Minutes:Helen of TroyThe Opiate EpidemicTaiwan and Brock Lesnar

Joey runs a very popular Youtube channel about baseball. Seriously. It's really popular. You could probably figure out which one it is. But we don't want to say so he doesn't get in trouble. Anyways Duffield came on and explained the whole Shohei Ohtani Situation to us. EnjoyEpisode Minutes:ShoBae'sBabe Ruth murdered his wifeSlaphitters

I was at the urinal at a ski resort and this guy was at the urinal next to me and without looking over he just goes, "nice watch". All-time great bit. Feel free to use at work or public space. Episode Minutes:Smedley ButlerThe Uncircumcised JBP Guest AppearanceThe Rodeo

I get it. I know why you're here. History that's mostly wrong. Jokes that stopped being acceptable when horses were still the main method of transportation. 9/11. Football. Patrick Bet David. If you're on the rim of the South China Sea, this one's for you. Also the fans in germany, there's definitely a connection there. I've seen 12 years in tibetEpisode Minutes:Sean McDermottLuck of the IrishOverthrowing governments for bananas 

listen. I get it. I'd be mad too. you finally find someone who gets you and they just spit in your big dumb mouth. how do you think we feel? you think we want to spit in your mouth? you think we want to hold you down, use a vice to hold your jaws open, and drop our hot, wet saliva in your mouth? Ok, fine, we do. but this is the last hiatus. pinkie promise. we're gunna open a patreon too. give yinz two episodes a week so you can get all hot and bothered and nasty. til then please go to our website - in the link and become a member of our mailing list. we're gunna use that to find live dates. nasty little boys. you're nasty little boys. sorry, this was a lot, but you asked for it and i'll tell the judge you asked for it too. nastyEpisode Minutes:black israelites (hate group? or just really cool guys?)AiMister HandsDarpa

This is all a psy-op. We have been conscripted by the deep state to turn all of you into super g@y power rangers. lucky you that sounds sickEpisode Minutes:Love, Death, and TrainsMirrorsPsy-opPeter Lee and Hunter B

If anyone knows our brothers in thailand and you could please reach out to them to let them know we're back and we want to support them in their fight against the imperial casino, we'd appreciate itEpisode Minutes:Battle of the WalmartTop Peeled backCamping with the FrenchMichael Obama

Please dm audio of you throat singing. We never ask for payment, but consider this your tributeEpisode Minutes:Watermelons Mel GibsonGirls fight like chimps

Audio is fixed. you can stop messaging me. the world is fixedCormac died this week. there is nothing left for us here. our guides are vanishingSend us your favorite quotes and we'll post an in memoriam. "Life is a memory, then it is nothing"Episode Minutes:Bestiality (again) Marking yourself safeSaudi sports#F*ckPut*n

From scrotum to anus, size matters for male fertility.. that's a headline from cbs news. so you tell me what's going onalso, i get it. we'll work on it. it's just growing pains. if you had to work with jake you would understand. the audio will be better next week. Also please rate and review. if you all did that, I could finally stop running the quasi-legal escape room from my basement

[Verse 1]Back in black, I hit the sackI've been too long, I'm glad to be backYes, I'm let loose from the nooseThat's kept me hanging aboutI'm just looking at the sky 'cause it's getting me highForget the hearse, 'cause I'll never dieI got nine lives, cat's eyesAbusing every one of them and running wild[Chorus]'Cause I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm back, backWell, I'm back in blackYes, I'm back in black[Verse 2]Back in the back of a CadillacNumber one with a bullet, I'm a power packYes, I'm in a bang with a gangThey've got to catch me if they want me to hang'Cause I'm back on the track and I'm beatin' the flackNobody's gonna get me on another rapSo, look at me now, I'm just making my playDon't try to push your luck, just get out of my wayYou might also likeThunderstruckAC/DCFlowersMiley CyrusDOGTOOTHTyler, The Creator[Chorus]'Cause I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm back, backWell, I'm back in blackYes, I'm back in black[Guitar Solo][Chorus]Well, I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm backYes, I'm backWell, I'm back, backWell, I'm back in blackYes, I'm back in black, yow[Bridge]Ah, yeahOh, yeahTake my loveYeah, yeahYeahAh, hey yeahOoh, yeah[Chorus]Well, I'm back (I'm back)Back (Well, I'm back)Back (I'm back)Back (I'm back)Back (I'm back)Back, back in blackYes, I'm back in black[Outro]I've hit the sack[Guitar Solo]

Ay ya ay ay yay ayPlease rate us or like and subscribe or whatever. We're trying to build a following of cucks just like yourselfReally though- join the redditr/HaveNiceDayPodIt's called have a nice day the podcastEpisode Minutes:The legend of Hispanic LibidoLike a virginChance the rapperRecorded 11/7/2021 - we're way behind. sorry

Hello to Asia- we're now pretty big in Japan too guys. couldn't be more proud to be leading this army of high-functioning mentally disabled dudes. Not really sure if you guys celebrate new year. not even sure if you guys have new years. i know china measures its years by 12 different animals which is probably very confusing when trying to study history but what Japan does is a mystery. If you know the answer please storm the US C@p1t0l building and write the answer on nancy's wall. Just kidding. don't do that for real. fbi chill the fuck out it's a comedy podcast about how mel gibson rocks. anyways start leaving reviews or something so we can connect. we're trying to build a communityI might start a reddit, let me know if you guys would be interested in joining. how? by storming the us C@p1t0l buildingJust kidding, but.. happy anniversaryjust kidding. for real. i'm kidding.jfcEpisode Minutes:The basketball godsfrank caliendo's new hourheadshot bow and arrow

I was almost defeated by the Omnichron so i was a little late delivering this episode. Luckily, I'm toxically masculine so i made a full recovery. Told the story about a guy who got child molestered by the former founder of Microsoft and one half of the bill and melinda gates foundation. I don't know if it happened or not, but sounded pretty reasonable to me. Leave your theories in the comment sectionEpisode Minutes:Reading Spaghetti-O'sAll painters are drug addictsGetting sap in your barIs it legal for Rhino's to get excited by Hippo's?

It's a book dude chill.Episode Minutes:Is schizophrenia a bit?Malaysian bathing habitsEverything we say is all facts, no caps. 

sry. won't happen again. when you're fathers you'll understand. last time i promiseOfficially Ranked 30th most popular podcast in Thailand- Thank you thailand!anyways we figured we'd come back in a big way with a huge guest: William F Buckley Episode Minutes:Takes on Arfghanistan (we recorded this august 30th, so they were fresh then)Dongs in the women's Locker-room 

My bad about the ep being late. I was in Puerto Rico, which is Spanish for Puerto Rico.  I tried to upload it but their infrastructure was built by the spanish and their internet takes a siesta 23 hours a day. Had to go to a wedding because i heard british people were going to be there and i couldn't let them just be on american soil without a patriot in their ear telling them sir francis drake was a pussy. Episode MinutesMeth Sexhonestly that's all i remember. I probably did some funny voices and jake probably made shitty background noise i didn't all the way edit out. enjoy.Also fucking rate and review us man, we're top 30 in thailand and we need to break the top 10

*But the v@xx*ne cured meEpisode Minutes:Uber ExperiencesBeing a college boyEntrepreneurs 

Shout out to our listeners in the shadow of the Middle Kingdom. John Cena might have let his uncle sam down, but the podcast redeemed it by doing american shit like watching fireworks on the fourth of july aka blowing shit up that was made in china. Episode MinutesDrag BrunchPoor DadsMen shouldn't be there for the birth of their child

This episode was almost lost for eternity, but Allah brought it back into my life. Insalluh. This is our anniversary episode so we brought on Republican Candidate for Governor Caitlyn Jenner where she gave us her thoughts on the the Israel-Palestine conflict.Episode Minutes:Caitlyn JennerIsrael PalestineDavid Hasselhoff

We recorded this on cinco de mayo, but i haven't released it because i've been too busy banging your dad. Episode Minutes:king arthurBilBo BurnhamApple's business modelCaesar's battle tactics

Julius Caesar is just Donald Trump. Dot-Connected. Aliens invented the cotton gin. Dot-ConnectedEpisode Minutes:Fort Ligonier DaysI am the reincarnation of george washingtonHiroshama was the worst place to go on vacation in 1945The 305

Last episode we, mainly me, pointed out that Indian-Americans immigrated when it was the easiest time to be an immigrant. Turns out being Indian wasn't allowed until like 1957. The supreme court said it was illegal to be Indian lolEpisode Minutes:Non-Binary lives matterHit your kidCops

Hallelujah, Hallelujah the Lord is risen. Much like Donald Trump in 2024, God has returned. Praise beEpisode Minutes:The intellectual darkweb PassoverClubhouseSperm Banks

Shout out to the lady-boys who have been absolutely holding it down for the pardschnarst. We're late this week but we should probably never be late ever again. Love yinz qwn'sEpisode Minutes:Dr. Jill BidenNursesTiger Queen

I wanted to name this episode "Pollinate my buttflower", but most of our viewers are under the age of twelve. It's like if Mister Rogers Neighborhood was in Abu GhraibEpisode Minutes:OSHA YogaLieutenant William F. BuckleyMy dad's record as a little league coach

As a pardschnarst, we wish we were Michael McDonald. But when we look in that mirror unflinching, deep down we'll always know we're Hall & Oates. anyways, sorry the ep was late. there was a lot of naughty words I had to cut out because this is Biden's america. Even patriots like Mel have to know their limits. Episode abstract:Go-kartsMel KiperInternational women's dayLee Corso

Horse girls are not to be trusted. Neither are girls who spell their name Iwanttohaveoralsexwithyourdadanduncle. Good luck out there boys and girls. Episode Abstract:Lady BoysCoca ColaEquestrian Girls

If you didn't catch the significance of last episode's description, that was Tim Tebow's Ole Miss speech. I had no idea he retired at the exact hour I was writing that episode description. I didn't even know he was still playing baseball. Pure serendipity. Our God is an awesome God.Episode Abstract:Why Japan deserved itIndian people go on hunger strike because indian food sucksGay DadsSeinfeld