Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast

This time-a-rooski, we reviewed the first film to be shot in Raymond Spottiswoode's "Depth Dimension" 3-D. It's a nutty little Canadian flick about that new-fangled "psychiatry" my loved ones won't stop going on about, and boy does this movie display a firm grasp over what that is! What we have here is a visual effects buffet sandwiched between long bouts of really crap 1961 people having terrible movie scenes together. This one is totally worth your time, so tune in to Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast for scaredy cats like you and your cat to listen to together in the dark instead of facing your inner demons!

We kept up our annual tradition of visiting a Frankenlotter... Frank Hookenl... Frank Henenlotter folm, film. A Frank Henenlotter film. This time, it's Frankenhanker... Frankenhooker. Dear God, what's wreng woth me on the newest episode of Loathsome Things: A Great Horror Movie Podcast to Listen To While You Sleep

How much cinematic care and attention can be placed on boobs? Find our as we explore the deep, eldritch mysteries of two different sets of natal taters from a variety of angles, temperatures, environs, and degrees of gravitational drag in this fishy and godless episode of Loathsome Things: a Cthulhu Ftagn Movie Podcast!

Greatest secret super-villain origin story film of all time? Yeah, I think so. Join us for a movie you think is going to be pompous, but then is low-key shlocky mad scientist music saw. So... you're welcome for another instant-classic episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast for sad white men to find companionship and enlargening gummies for 50% off when you use coupone code: LOATHSOMETHINGS on check-out!

Seth Green and Alfonso Ribeiro co-star in this plasma-inhaling infestation of a boy scout summer flashback for Josh! That's right, it's Ticks and it's Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast edited by an guy who can't setup his microphone with even a modicum of competency! Also, John is here and he sounds great the whole time. Kisses.

It's a new episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast not fit for human consumption, bringing you a filthy, degenerate pile of frothy, unhygienic movie slime that makes us giggle while we squirm. Splatter all ye who enter Flatbush to watch Street Trash!

A rare entry to our dislustrious "DO NOT WATCH" list, this penultimate Hammer film has a cool demon puppet, great Christopher Lee face stuff, a top-notch crucifix, and some stuff I won't type because that's not the type of searches we want to be a result for. It's bad. Do yourself a favor by just listening to us and not watching the movie!

You can't get much more Loathsome than The Thing, itself. You've got action, comedy, explosions, the greatest practical monster effects showcase, and the very most good boy in movie history. Go watch the movie again, it's totally worth it!

Join us for our grand 100th episode, wherein we cover the folk horror of all folk horrors, The Wicker Man!!

Sorry about the previous audio version. How's this?

A Stephen King novel adapted for the screen, directed by David Cronenberg, and with Christopher Walken playing the main character. Surely this is a recipe for an out-of-this-world amazing horror cinema experience... right?  Johnny Walken Black wakes up with low-grade molestation powers and angles his career toward spending alone time with children while folks at the highest levels of society disregard his scams, or maybe he can see the future when people will die... or sometimes the past when someone who was thought dead didn't die? It doesn't matter, what matters is that I'm getting something, someone important to you wants to tell you something. Do these words mean anything to you? "Loathsome Things: A Podcast You Want to donate large sums of money to so you can finally know what late relative really thought of you!" Josh woke up from a lifelong Windows-user coma and suddenly had the ability to limp along using Linux! Will it impact the audio quality of this episode? Wait and see! And by "wait and see" I mean "make haste and listen now!"

A Shaw Brothers kung-fu giallo from the unsung king of Hong Kong cult films. Let the bodies coat with worms! It's Loathsome Things: A podcast about the horror movies your mom wouldn't be happy to find you watching!

Charmingly outdated-by-1981-standards practical effects, wild borrowings from the best of recent and distant masterpieces of influence, and maybe a pinch of the ol' booger sugar informed this revered Italian director's take on the supernatural something set in 1980 New Orleans for reasons not fathomable, but from a fathomableness of The Beyond! That's right, the year was 2024, the medium was a podcast, and the rss feed was Loathsome Things: A podcast for horror movie fans who don't expect too much from their podcasts!

Welcome to the Neo-French Extremity? New French Post-Extremity? Who can say? It's a really rad zombie movie about youthful, drug-fueled sex and paranoia, poor parenting, and a very strange relationship with authority... or is it? Enter one of the top 5 greatest zombie movies of all time. Possibly THE greatest? I don't know. It's Loathsome Things: a high production value storytelling podcast known to cause constipation and diarrhea in child and dogs under 10 years of age.

Not actually about Brian De Palma's female siblings, this film is instead about Brian De Palma weird, hazy, perhaps deeply subconscious feelings about white women, their role in society, their capabilities as functional humans, and the role that black men play in his feelings. Also, it's a Hitchcockian something-or-other in a decidedly pre-masterpiece phase of Brian's directorial development. Call it De Palchcockian. Anyway, it's actually a pretty enjoyable flick most of the time, and warms our very specific cockles due to its precursoriness to Basket Case, a film especially beloved by Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast you can turn to for sound financial and lifestyle expertise.

Is it folk horror? Is it Babadookie? Is it sci-fi? We're not really sure from whence this sub-step monster was spawned, but we know we mostly liked it with a few quabbles. How long can we spend discussing the quabbles you ask? Well, you're in luck, because you're about to find out while listening to this thoughtful and un-biased think piece about the 2024 horror film Daddy's Head nowhere else but here on Loathsome Things: the best podcast to listen to while going to sleep if you're an idiot.

New? Not so much. French? Absolue! Extremity? Not for long. Join us as we explore the surprising twists and turns of this horror masterpiece directed by a real piece of work. That's right, it's Pascal Laugier's 2008 masterpiece: Martyrs. Are we all victims, monsters, or dancers? You be the judge, then witness your own guilt... or something. Bourgeoisie!

Do we mention Nicolas Cage? Did we find out that the Devil makes a variety of cameos in this movie before we recorded this episode? Are we more giddy with movie-watching glee than we are actually making a podcast? Find out the answers in this Satanic episode of Loathsome Things: the Horror Movie Podcast your mom wouldn't let you listen to, but then you secretly did and who knows what will happen because of it.

We watched a cool little indie flick about a family stuck in their bathroom during an apocalypse, and somewhere along the way we lost the full entirety of our cool. Was it before we even started recording? You tell us after listening to this high-quality film review featuring bleeding-edge audio editing and extremely professional vocal skills. It's Loathsome Things: The Horror Movie Podcast you mistakenly chose as the only podcast you could bring with you to a desert island!

Listen as two people with strong feelings about a movie struggle to discuss said movie. It's Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie for morons and the people willing to forgive them enough to listen to them.

A dude is chained up in a house with some dude's bonkers niece while spooky things happen. The real question is: why? Join us as we proceed to not tackle that question in this lively and frolicking episode of Loathsome Things: A Good Podcast to Listen To At Work!

This film is a strong recommend from us. Enjoy a uniquely splatterific experience!   Rodrigo Aragão is from Espirito Santo, Brazil. His father was a magician and cinema owner. Rodrigo was influenced by The Empire Strikes Back and Evil Dead. He worked as a make-up effects artist in the 90s until he started with his own horror play, Mausoleum, and then started directing short films, then premiered his first feature film, Mud Zombies, in 2008. He just became one of our favorite gory movie directors, thanks to this gem.

Welcome to the Loathsome Vault, where you get to hear an old, previously unreleased episode of Loathsome Things from the days of yore: 2001! This time, we reviewed the official film of "What H.P. Lovecraft, but with dirty sexy hippies?" We'll be back to our regularly scheduled podcasting next hence!

Likely the greatest horror movie in Houston, Texas, horror movie production history. This little gem manages to be campy and horrifically transgressive in a way that won't make anyone feel good! It's The Lamp, AKA The Outing, on this fortnight's episode of Loathsome Things: A good podcast to listen to when you're depressed and the Lexapro isn't working!

It's 1978 France and the wine has taken on a toxic zombessential quality. Great legs, though!

Join us for a fun little slice of pre-slasher arthouse something, Jessica! We're not gaslighting you, you're gaslighting us!

Our first non-Basket Case flick by Frank Henenlotter, and our last(?) movie to use the Loathsome Things scoring system you've come to be entirely unaware of!

This Attack of the Mushroom people by the guy who made Godzilla sure doesn't have a lot of Mushroom People action in it. Is it still good? Read John's review of Amando de Ossorio's The Ghost Galleon to find out!

It's time for everyone's favorite manic pixie dream frankenstein to ditch the snooze and get all rizz'd up, 2002 style! That's right, we're reviewing May, a complicated, weird, silly, serious, strange conflagration of emotions and inputs, straight from yore and into your brain. It's Loathsome Things: the best podcast to find horror movies you might've otherwise never seen!

John and Josh review an anthology film for the very first time. Will they mess up, do a good job, or just incoherently repeat themselves? Find out on today's episode of Loathsome Things: A Podcast About Horror Movies You Don't Care About!

Content Warning: all the bad things.

Eh, what's the point.

We're doing it, folks. It's a 3-episode month and we've almost certainly made a mistake by going with The Virgin Spring, Last House on the Left, and Last House on the Left. O cruel world with such people in it! Here, we review the classic Swedish masterpiece about a Swedish lord, his Swedish daughter, their Swedish family, some Swedish pagans, and a trio of Swedish brothers. What kind of light-hearted hijinks will they get up to? Find out on this giggly episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast that is, yes, very afraid to go into the dark room!

Get your dollar-store, off-brand tissues ready, because this one's a tear-jerker! Rial and Bol are refugees of the Sudanese Civil War, trying to create a new life for themselves in the land of opportunity: slummy ol' England! To start over, they'll have to endure fairly mild (by American standards) interpersonal racism, run-down living conditions, intense psychological trauma, ghosts, and an evil entity. Get ready for a wild one, folks, for this gut-wrenching episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast for those who are paying attention to the actual horrors happening around us. For more information about the current genocide in Sudan, click here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darfur_genocide

Add this one to your watchlist of remakes that may be better than the sequel, and definitely among to top of any list of high-quality reboots. Clive Barker's non-Hellraiser franchise is brought back around to no longer focus on the plight of white women in this stunning, complex, and challenging reframing of the classic. And here are some links to the figures discussed in the closing credits. The Lynching of Anthony Crawford: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynching_of_Anthony_Crawford The Wrongful Conviction and Execution of George Stinney: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Stinney The Murder of James Byrd Jr.: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murder_of_James_Byrd_Jr.    

Be the food you want to eat! The Memento guy, the Trainspotting guy, the principle from Ferris Bueller, and a celebrity's husband star in this off-kilter delight that dares to ask the question: what if Dances with Wolves was a wendigo movie lightly sprinkled with a Mel Brooksian soundtrack? Turns out, you might get something like this. Show up for what was obviously Robert Carlyle's inspiration for Rumpelstiltskin, stay for the weird sense of human and overall high level of enjoyability of this episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast that you haven't listened to yet!  

Something about death's design, a list, this time it happens backwards… who knows. Welcome to 2024, Loathsome Things style! It's all epic action-disaster stunt sequences between bouts of really depressingly bad line delivery. Start the year off with the best horror movie podcast for people that are tired of all the other horror movie podcasts as we watch a movie that one podcaster described as “I Know What You Did Last Destination!”

Somewhere in the Finnish reindeer wilderness, there is a mountain that is secretly the gigantic sacred grave of MFing Santa Claus. In this episode of Loathsome Things, you'll hear us review the actions taken by a squad of rugged snow-daddies who, perhaps, receive a bit too much focus on whether or not they have sufficiently spanked their sons. What's more, we'll reveal to answers to all things and we detail their adventures,including: The Mystery of the Too-Soon-Dead Reindeer How Old Should My Son Be Before I Give Him a Gun? How to Shop for the Santa Antiquarian Who Already Has Everything The Case of the Naked Codger How to Eat Cookies for Dinner Whatever Shall We Do with All This Dynamite?   Check out John's first published micro-fiction in the Year Five edition of Dark Moments and Patreons, available here: and wherever ebooks are sold!

Content Warning: suicide and self harm You are a mountain and this is the first part of Perry Blackshear's Monster Trilogy sees childhood chums Wyatt and Christian reunited as alcoholic adults who've suffered failed relationships and mental and emotional disturbances. Christian's self-help iPod has seen him get a great job at Behemoth, where he's romantically pursuing his badass boss, Mara. Meanwhile, Wyatt is suffering from severe Capgras delusions and is doomsday prepping in a decidedly hardware store fashion. Will he use his ultra-powerful nail gun to save the world? Will Christian do horizontal judo with Mara? Hug-hug to find if we knew we got our axe for something on this episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast, haroo, haroo!   Check out John's first published micro-fiction in the Year Five edition of Dark Moments and Patreons, available here: https://www.blackharepress.com/year-five/ and wherever ebooks are sold!   Bonus trivia question: What movie was John talking about when he said “The Boogey Man?” Only real Loathsome Fans will know the answer!

From the director who brought us some actually good episodes of Star Trek later in his career, this movie… it's terrible. Bad jokes, unexciting nudity from Rebecca Balding, and one of the worst movie monsters you'll ever see. You know that uncle or cousin of yours, the one that puts off an icky vibe? This is probably one of their favorite movies. So, skip the flick and just enjoy our re-telling of the story that is the movie The Boogens. This isn't usually the case, but sometimes the podcast is better than the movie on Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast! You can reach out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

Content Warning: violence against children and by children is depicted in this film, as is violence against and by animals. This includes a scene in which an animal commits violence against a child. God is dead, welcome to beautiful Argentina! This time we reviewed a demonic possession apocalypse movie that absolutely slams. Put away your flashlights, your gunpowder, and your fear of death, because they won't help you here! That's right, it's a zombie movie where instead of zombie you get demonic possession and the attempts of devils to be born into the world via Se7en-style bloat-bodies. There are rules to follow and fools to not follow them. Join us to figure out how that crazy Possessed-defeating doo-dad works in this most bonita episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast! You can reach out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

Content Warning: self harm Australian youths supplement their substance abuse with a fun demonic possession game. It the story secretly about substance abuse? Mental illness? Grief? Loss? White people? You tell us after listening to this podcast about horror movies. A podcast where we summarize the plot of a horror movie at you so you can decide whether or not you want to watch the movie after you find out everything about it. Wait, is that what this podcast is for? Wait a minute, is this movie secretly about the degradation of the family unit and the impossibility of parenting children in a world where the very formats and mediums of mischief are impossible to predict? Nah! It's just Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast! You can reach out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!  

An Etsy girl makes a go of living her best life in her childhood home in a town full of people who hate for something that she did in her childhood. Also, there's aliens and almost zero dialogue. Will it be good? Pack yourself up a pic-a-nic basket and head on out to a loved-one's grave and plot your sorry ass in that ancestral grass to listen to this fortnight's episode of Loathsome Things: a podcast about scary movies where we tell you which movies are scary, which movies are not scary, and break them down so you don't have to watch them, but then we tell you to watch them… because that's what our audience wants? Also, this episode features a bonus review of the Star Wars television thing: Ahsoka. If you listen closely, you can even hear the very moment that Josh finally realizes which character is played by Mary Elizabeth Winstead! You can reach out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

Content Warning: A smidge of animal cruelty is depicted in this movie, which we describe and may/may not do vocal sound effects for… John and Josh strapped microphones to the inside of their mouths for an entire day to bring you their first full-fledged found footage film review! This little gem blends found footage with possession/exorcism, folk horror, and [spoiler]. What a cool combination! A priest guy and a professional gadget-haver spend a lot of run time getting acquainted with one another and slowly building what will turn out to be a life-long friendship, though not without its ups and downs, all while a variety of priests come and go from their lives. Along the way, their learn valuable lessons about imperialism, how the church abuses its power over the population, and never leaving your buddy behind. Also, we kind of do a semi-review of the new movie Elevator Game at the end. So, you know, there's that for ya. And, as a special bonus to our show-note readers, here's the British TV Shows we invented in this episode, plus the band and album! British TV Shows that should exist: One House Tree Bunch of Love Heaven Basket Third Lane Mystery The Deacon's Revenge King Henry's Clunge The Dicar of Vibley And the Band - Album that should exist: Tale for the Blather – Their Sophomore Effort You can reach out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!  

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. What else is there to say? Content Warning: this film contains nearly as much deeply disturbing gruesome topic matter as it does wildly offensive ableism. And since it's in the movie, it is also in the words we speak. Join us as we revel in the just amazingness that is, as one man was mis-quoted as putting it, “the most upsetting movie I didn't hate.” It is a masterpiece and it is deeply troubling. If you worry you might not be up for the film, give us a listen as we chop up this movie into its constituent cuts and plop it down fresh and hot onto your ear-plates. That's the kind of service and quality you can expect when you listen to Loathomse Things: A Horror Movie Podcast by two dudes who don't live in Texas and in no way identify with the characters in this movie or recognize any of the settings, tropes, or styles. Now THAT's Tasty! You can reach out to us thus, but you won't! Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Tobe Hooper's The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) (2) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (3) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (4) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (5) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (6) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (7) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (8) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (9) Ti West's X (2022) (10) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

Do you ever think about the town you live in? Did your ancestors live there? What did they do when they lived there? Were they bad to other people, maybe women or indigenous populations? Do you ever wonder if you are them? Has a doctor ever made you feel like you're a buckle-hatted pilgrim wielding a knife of revelation while inducing seizures in your chaw-addled brain? Well, then you may be a Pendleton, of the Devonsville Pendletons! You see, 300 years ago the entire town of Devonsville did a witch hunt. Later, they were all named Pendleton and had much less facial hair than their ancestors. There may have also been some Warleys, who may have written everything down in some Gideon's Bible-sized journals for no good reason. Also, something about belts made out of finger bones. I don't know. This week we reviewed a movie that was asking the question “could a witch hunt happen today?” But that was 40 years ago, and here we are today among a mass of idiots banning books, actively organizing to overthrow the government, and persecuting anyone who isn't a cis-gendered lily-white Christian. So join us in the flames as we place a curse upon the whole melty-faced lot in this most fundamentalist episode of Loathsome Things: a podcast for people who want to grow closer to god day by glorious day. Amen. You can reach out to us thus, but you won't! Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!  

Did you know that when you forget your dreams, they get mad at you? It doesn't matter if those are dreams of attractive young women in thin gauze, skinless bears coming for you in the closet, fake little brothers with bulgy eyes, or janitors with prosthetic limbs that fall right off. You see, when you go beyond dream's door, the hatred doesn't discriminate. Maybe it's a fleshy tooth-book chomping your foot, maybe it's a balloon that just wants to follow you and make an annoying sound before exploding, maybe it's not-Pennywise cackling from the sewers or a horde of non-aggressive zombies. It just doesn't matter. The dreams you've forgotten all hate you equally and if you tell a typewriter about those dreams, they will come for you and they will come for your gun-happy professor and his TAs. So, take a melatonin, brew yourself a pot of sleepytime tea, crank one out, and then lay your weary bones down before listening to this highly academic episode of Loathsome Things: a relaxing ASMR podcast about horror movies that will unlock your innermost potential at 666 hertz. You can reach out to us thus, but you won't! Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!  

We reviewed a classic and scared John as a child and confused Josh as an adult. Imagine The Goonies, but with big naked California tits, fountains of blood, and the childhood drama of having everyone you love die. There, that's Phantasm. Is it as simple as that? No! It's much more confusing! Phantasm features multiple allusions to Dune, some strange overlap with Star Wars, and manages to be a strikingly singular piece of storytelling. Do we have any idea what the story it's telling is? Can we explain it in the slightest? Did Josh tell a story about going to a place while unaware that he was getting sick and did the onset of those symptoms cause him to really screw up the end of this recording? There's only one way to find out, by listening to the entirety of this ultra-high quality and exquisitely professional episode of Loathsome Things: the best podcast for fans of Phantasm and the only podcast you should listen to if you're trying to figure out how to do a good job at making a podcast and writing podcast notes for your podcast podcast. Podcast! You can reach out to us on these players, but you won't! Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

In 1990, first-time director Francis Teri pulled together a tiny budget, a team of mostly non-actors, and some really cool practical effects to make an amazingly tasteless, uncomfortably semi-humorous, and entirely baffling horror movie about a young woman receiving an abortion against her will and her aborted fetus becoming one of the most mind-bogglingly powerful horror movie monsters of all time. That's right, it's an abortion monster, and boy does it have a really weird plan! Tune in for an exploration of the thing you didn't think could go wrong when you outlaw abortion in this episode of Loathsome Things: a horror movie podcast that cares about the mother's life and the baby's life, but absolutely hates men. And if you find yourself in need of more horror movie podcast goodness, check out the Bring Me the Axe Horror Podcast! They're cool guys and cover the same types of movies we do! https://open.spotify.com/show/143VD2m2wUwWe90MA7j9NZ If you would like to recommend a movie, smuggle abortioneers across state lines, or ask us horror movie-related questions, you can do so by reaching out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – American teens take an evil train ride across bad-times Yugoslavia! The Pit (1981) – A coming-of-age story about seeing boobs, evil teddy bears and feeding beasts! The Suckling (1990) – An abortion monster kills a house full of sex workers on his way home!

The Jo Brothers cover The Mo Brothers with this delightful jaunt down the road to a slasher commonly referred to as The Indonesia Chainsaw Massacre for entirely appropriate reasons. What starts off as torture porn then devolves into madcap mindless violence before finally metamorphosing into some really tremendous fight scenes that make the film's early goings-on worth it. This movie is an underappreciated gem that suffers for being from a country that western audiences have largely ignored. Listen to us break it down and really get after it in this all-new episode of Loathsome Things: A Highly-rated Podcast for People Like Me!   Also, we end up talking about our feelings about Rob Zombie… again… because we're two cool dudes. If you would like to recommend a movie, share your top-10 list of Indonesian films, or ask us horror movie-related questions, you can do so by reaching out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – Not a great horror movie, but so much fun to watch! The Pit (1981) – Watch this coming-of-age story about seeing boobs and feeding beasts!

From the New French Extremity to some old Italian Sleaze, good, clever Loathsome Things is here to make everything nice for you, our sweet, sweet babies! From the guy that mostly did hardcore porn with a splattering or horror-porn crossover films, comes a film that advanced the boundaries of gore and showed us that the most potent strains of marijuana in history looks surprisingly exactly the same as 1970s euro-lady pubes. That's right, it's schlocky, it's exploitative, it's unfortunate, and it's all set to Goblin's most perplexing soundtrack, it's the 1979 horror cinema experience from the cum-soaked mind of Joe D'Amato lovingly and alternately known as Beyond the Darkness, Buio Omega, Buried Alive, In Quella Casa Buio Omega, House 6: El Terror Continua, and Zombi 10. Tune in to learn all this information and so much more in this most absurd episode of Loathsome Things: the official horror movie podcast of 1970s bush-centric European stag films! If you would like to recommend a movie, tell us what kind of wine comes in that kind of bottle, or ask us horror movie-related questions, you can do so by reaching out to us on Twitter: @LoathsomePod Instagram: @LoathsomePod Facebook: @LoathsomePodcast Email: LoathsomeThings@gmail.com The Loathsome Things Official Top 10 Greatest Horror Movies of All Time List (of those we've reviewed for an episode of Loathsome Things: A Horror Movie Podcast) (1) Andrzej Żuławski's Possession (1981) (2) Brian De Palma's Carrie (1976) (3) Rose Glass' Saint Maud (2019) (4) Bob Clark's Black Christmas (1974) (5) George A Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968) (6) Alex Garland's Men (2022) (7) Miike Takashi's Audition (1999) (8) Ti West's X (2022) (9) Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski's The Void (2016) (10) Bob Clark's Deathdream (1974)   Honorable Mentions: Beyond the Door III (1989) – Not a great horror movie, but so much fun to watch! The Pit (1981) – Watch this coming-of-age story about seeing boobs and feeding beasts!   Transcript Josh  Body of a *****. Body three times. Pain and torture. First body in a bed. Body growing dead body in a crypt body. Hell fire dipped. Body ringing bell body into hell. Always be a taker. Meet your maker. No one's life you save robs some in your grave. It's loathsome things, a horror movie podcast with be the Josh and he the John. John. How are you on this most horrific of?  John  I'm hell be.  Josh  Dipped dipped hell fire dipped.  John  Hell be doing whatever the **** it was. Somebody actually wrote a rhyme to go along with whatever they said in Italian.  Josh  I know, I know. Like someone's job was to come up with a little, like set of rhyming couplets to to go with whatever was actually. Supposed to be there.  John  Man, I would love to see this movie in Italian with English subtitles.  Josh  Ohh man yeah that would be good. You could also do what I did. I watched the movie that this is a remake of in Italian without subtitles.  John  Ohh, that's even better. Yeah, the third eye, right?  Josh  The third eye? Yeah, it's it's real confusing when you have no idea what. People are saying.  Josh  So, John, what are we?  Josh  Even talking about.  John  Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked. Because this time around. We shall be talking about. We're going to talk about a little Italian schlock exploitation film that was directed by a fine fellow named occasionally named Joe Di Amato.  Josh  Some types named Joe Demon.  John  1970 nines. Delightful and absolutely delicious. I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm a moron beyond the darkness.  Josh  Also known by other names. A lot of other names, some of them. Some of them just just out of nowhere. That thing, but yeah, it was the whole thing. Apparently the director, Joe D'amato, was friend with Mino Guerini, who directed the third eye. And one day they were hanging out. Just spit balling ideas and he was like, hey, what if I remade your movie but made it sleazier?  John  It's an interesting film. It's gonna be fun to talk about. I liked the I was excited to hear that Goblin did the soundtrack, or as they mistakenly referred to. Them the goblins. But except for a few bits, overall, the soundtrack is terrible.  Josh  Yeah, it's if you have ever had your manager pop in a VHS tape so you could watch a training video on your first day on the job, then you know what this movie sounds.  John  Like please contact the HR department if you have any issues with other employees.  Josh  There are times where the soundtrack's really cool, like they'll purposefully hit these flat notes to like, reflect what's going on, like like it's entertaining at times and other times just very irritating.  John  When I make my movie, I'm going to have the entire soundtrack be done live with a guy with a French horn who just makes fart noises.  Josh  Yeah, I I want. I want my life soundtrack to be done by someone with a severe anxiety disorder that wasn't given their medicine today and they have to like. They're always trying to catch up with what's going on, like, Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening to me. The soundtrack I want.  John  They have to play it on a hooter.  Josh  Of course, Goblin to they did the soundtrack for the original dawn of the dead phenomena, Suspiria and Tenebre. So lot of lot of good Italian movie horror movies with that, and by a lot I mean mostly just those that I listed. They also had a song in Shaun of the Dead.  John  Yeah, that's true. And just in case you really enjoyed this music, in which case, by the way, you're an idiot. It was also used in the films the other Hell and Hell of The Living Dead, because in Europe all horror films are of the Living dead.  Josh  And one thing that was cool. So the actor in here, Frank Astolfi, who plays clever, sweet, good Iris actually was reunited with this soundtrack whenever she starred in the other hell.  John  Wonderful. The amazing franca stoppi. Veteran of the Women's Prison series of films and also a little a little number known in English as dog lay afternoon or in its native Italian bestiality or something like that.  Speaker 5  Good it is what you think it is if.  Josh  If, if you're if you're.  Josh  Catching on to to a like a a niche like a specific what? What what's happening here? So I want to go into a little bit about Joe D'amato. Joe D'amato is the king of 1970s and 80s Italian sleaze cinema. He has 199 directing credits to his name and about 100 and 21120 of those are just straightforward *********** videos.  John  Gotta love it.  Josh  This is one of his most famous horror movies, along with Anthropophagus and the semi sequel to that absurd, this came out. This film came out during his horror **** over crossover era, which included Papaya love, goddess of the cannibals, orgasmo. Arrow, Emmanuel and the white slave trade ****** Knights of the Living Dead and poor no Holocaust.  John  **** in a that is fantastic. By the by the way, and Trump of Vegas and that absurd are those movies are.  Josh  Yes, they they rock. This guy like while while he was mostly about the the ******* and portraying the penetration and stuff like that he when his in his ***** she was like we need to really like push the boundaries of what's allowable as far as gore is concerned and. Boy, does he ever. And it is fantastic. Like this isn't the kind of movie that you would expect to watch and think ohh wow, this contributed to the artistry of horror. Cinema but it. Actually does and it's amazing also very.  John  Yes, yes, yes, on all counts. The it's funny because he I was reading a little bit about it and said that he he was kind of down on his own ability to build suspense. In other words, he couldn't do it. So he went ahead and just did the extreme. Shock value instead, and he's very proud of that which he damn well ought to be.  Josh  Yeah, yeah, I like that. He's like, I don't feel confident in my ability to build suspense, so I'm just gonna not try.  John  You got to know your strengths. I like that the.  Josh  Like what if?  John  Ohh yeah, go ahead. Well, I was gonna say.  Speaker 5  No, no, you.  John  It was a. The film was released in 87, called in Inquiry a Casa built Omega to try to to try to pass it off as being related to the Evil Dead series, which it of course was not at all, and then it was released in Italy as Lacasa and. Macasa do way I guess as you would. Today in Spain, the movie was marketed as being a sequel to the House franchise. Therefore, House 6 and then El Terror, or El Perro continua, and then in Mexico it was billed as being part of the.  Josh  Zombie franchise it was listed as Zombie Ten. Oh my God. Yeah, this is. That's one of my favorite things about this era of horror movies is like. It's just nonsense. They're like, what if we just said it was part of another thing? And I I honestly think that's beautiful. I I love it because it just creates such a tangled mess of history to try to a.  John  Not it wasn't. Wasn't Fulci's zombie build as? Night of the Living Dead sequel wasn't that I think so, yes, yeah. It's all complete ********. No one gave any *****. I love Italians. They just lie and they don't give a damn. I was looking for the Napolitano Pizza house. Is it this direction C?  Josh  Thank you.  John  Where am I? There's no pizza restaurant here.  Josh  Let's see Joe's other directing credits include Ator, the Fighting Eagle famous from mystery science.  Speaker  Right.  John  Theater 3, yes.  Josh  The Devil's wedding night, the crawlers. Black Cobra woman paradiso, blue blue, ****** climax. Super Climax sex penitentiary cop sucker cop. Sucker two and zombie 5.  John  Oh, my God. Get it together. OK.  Josh  Yeah, famously in the 1990s he was resistant to the change from film to video in the pornographic **** ***********. And he was like, yeah, it just doesn't feel as good. But I guess I'll do it. He also didn't like the fact. People wanted *********** to just portray a lot of extreme sex. He really wanted it, which is funny when you. Watch this movie. He was like, yeah, but what about the story element? Don't want the story element of *********** anymore.  John  What about the art?  Josh  So, yeah, this movie stars Kieran Kantor as Frank. Kieran Kantor would go on to be in some ****, but not much.  John  Yeah, basically just a bunch of soft **** or not a whole lot of. What was the other like? What do you say? Monreale Monreale, who plays Anna.  Josh  And spoiler alert, she's awesome. Oh no, she also plays Elena.  John  She plays her sister. Yeah, she's Christ. She was she was in full. She's the beyond, which is absolutely ******* **** ***. I love that moon. She's the lady with the whited out eyes.  Josh  Also, she was in full cheese. The Sweet House of horrors.  John  That I have not seen it sounds delightful.  Josh  Yeah, I know. That's what is you doing in here?  John  She was and Dario Argento. Argentos the Stendahl syndrome, so a definite veteran of some classic horror, even outside of this fine piece of film.  John  This fine pizza.  John  Which I'm so glad was shot on 16 millimeter film, apparently because if it had it been shot on video, it would have looked bad.  Josh  So a lot happens in this movie. John, do we need to warn? I mean, there's a yeah. There's a dead baboon. That was kind of upsetting. I forgot about that.  John  Yeah, that was upsetting. There was some possible well hints. More at necrophilia, probably in the Italian version. Straight up necrophilia. Yeah, there was a lot of dancing around, some really terrible things. If you're not a fan of of using actual pig body parts to make your gore scenes, then this is not the movie for you. If you don't like to see.  Josh  Grown men breastfeed. This is probably not gonna be the one for.  John  You, Jesus Christ. Yes, I forgot. Forgot about the breast. Feeding their nursemaid.  John  Oh my God.  Josh  This movie is ridiculous. There's also if you're offended by the naked female Bush, then this movie is not gonna be for you.  John  Yeah, you better get whipped. The hedge trimmers out because this one goes for it, yeah.  Josh  Ohh some some very homage to Herschel Gordon Lewis dismemberment so. So just be prepared for that before you view it, which you may have already done. Because we told you 2 two weeks ago.  John  In 2023, the the It's kind of you'd be kind of hard pressed to find the effects believable, but if you're squeamish and you're not somebody that you know, if you just react to that stuff, period, then yeah, this this movie might be a little tough for you to watch.  Josh  Yeah, I liked that there was. There was a a fake arm, just like the one in dance mapu, but the IT was. Like, oh, the one in dance mapu. Actually does look better than this. One nice technology advanced that's right, moving right along.  Josh  Yeah, you couldn't see through.  Josh  The one in dance mafoo.  John  Ohh yeah, I also wanted to mention which I thought was hilarious, that the reason Francastel Papi got the role. Toby was because another actress agreed to play Iris, sight unseen, read the script and was like no. And Frank Estopa, I was like.  John  Well, **** yeah, I'll do it.  John  Nice because she's awesome. What a trooper. Kick us off. Alright, well, the movie starts with a weird looking European red van truck driving through the woods while we listen to pretty awful goblin music. It's very 70s, of course, the guys driving along in his obscenely loud truck and he arrives at what I would describe as a ship house. He gets, gets out and meets a swarthy other douche, and then they work together to lift a very heavy box inside the van. Then Jordi Ouche leaves. He gets back in his van because it looked like he was wearing jordash jeans. If I was, if I wasn't mistaken, OK.  Josh  Just wondering where that was coming, Jordan?  John  So he drives away and we cut to a hazy filtered shot of a Crone, putting needles in voodoo dolls. While that are basically, you know based on a picture of the main character and what I'm assuming is his girlfriend, which of course it is and. Another lady with weird lips is sitting there watching this happen, and she's obviously loving it, so that's that's setting up something. They the the girlfriend, as it turns out, is in the hospital, ****** ** and moaning and she is doing a lot of gasping and then sort of red lines. Except I don't know what that meter is that's regulating her heart. I looks like something else entirely, but whatever.  Josh  I think it I think it's measuring whether or not her makeup needs to be replaced.  John  There's some lady in there who I thought was a nurse, but she like. Very not too worried, gets up and says. Nurse and then a doctor comes in and gives her an Ivy shot of some sort, and then she moans a lot and calls for Frank. So that's the red. That's the jordache. So meanwhile, Frank arrives at a Chateau and opens the little gate drives in. Suddenly the box. That he carries inside by himself is really not that heavy anymore, which I thought was interesting. He brings it into the Chateau and unpacks what turns out to be a dead male baboon. Which looked like a dead male baboon. It was pretty disgusting, not not disgusting, but little disturbing. He doses it with some sort of amber juice in this giant syringe that he has. And then while this is going on, the lady with the lips is snooping as he. Leaves that room and heads upstairs into the Chateau. Back at the hospital, the dying lady wants makeup as as you do, and the nurse deftly applies man makeup on with might. Might as well be a house painting brush. She's just like. Ah, there you go. It's so great back again at these chitter lips picks up. She picks up after douche cause he's he's made a mess in his bedroom, you know, cause he's a he's a naughty boy who's, like 30, she tells Frank. That the hospital called and then naked and tan Frank comes out. Grabs like with his clothes holding his junk, which I don't know why shy after what happens later, but he grabs his regular clothes and calls lips a stupid idiot for not telling him sooner.  Josh  You stupid idiot.  John  Back at the hospital, Frank Frank rushes in. He runs into. The best character in the movie, a random old person. With a funny.  Josh  Hey, where'd you get your license?  Josh  I I want to know what the original like was that what it was supposed to be in the original, or I can't imagine.  John  God only knows he's great. He he gets to, he gets to Anna's bedside, and he tenderly makes out with her to death. Back at the back at.  John  The ship, yeah.  John  In a very ornate bedroom, apparently Frank is the King of Italy. Uhm, he mopes. He's like sitting at this little desk or, you know, bedside, dresser or whatever. Just moping over these two horrible photos like one of of two people, another, neither of which look like her. And then a big portrait of himself. And he's just like, moping and then lips comes in and. You know, I mean, it's perfectly understandable. He's he's having a hard time. His girlfriend just died. So she whips it tight out and breastfeeds him. And it's extremely sexual and very strange.  Josh  Yeah, yeah. She's just, like, cooing at him and telling him that everything's gonna be OK and saying her own name over and over to him, she's like, it's OK. Sweet, Sweet Iris is gonna make everything good for you.  John  And he's like.  Josh  So bizarre this is the point. Whenever I first watched the movie I. Ohh I have to show John.  John  Doing it now we're back at or we're we're at at the Funeral Home and she's in her casket and Frank goes to visit her and he juices her with the amber hoist that he gave the baboon. While for no reason. The mortician who had just left. In the other room peeks back in to spy on the guy. What what reason? He's just sitting there, looking at her. He doesn't look weird or anything, and the dude peeks back in just in time to see him inject the juice into her neck. Then it's her funeral. There's a bunch of very serious Italian people in the background are a bunch of half naked Italian guys who are, like, working on something I don't. I think it was a mistake that they left that in the shot or something.  Josh  They're probably working on the *********** in the background.  John  I was like, are those people naked? What is going on?  Josh  Back there I didn't notice. I'll have to go back.  John  And watch it again.  Josh  It's ohh no.  John  It's so weird.  John  They they lower her casket with two ropes into this really narrow hole. That's like super deep. And then they show, like her parents, you know, mourning her mother has a gargantuan cold sore on her lip. Then her dad's there and a super hot blonde lady who looks just like her named Ellen's dad after the funeral, begs the priest essentially to do all The Dirty work. Because he can't handle, it's too much for him so he could bail and his wife can leave Italy. The daughter is gonna stick back though, and and complete her school. The mortician is is very conspicuously snooping on the proceedings. Now we're back at the cemetery. It's at night, and there's there's George Douche digs. Anna, who, by the way, is suddenly like, 6 inches below the surface, like, somehow the. And there's roses on top of her casket, which are clean, even though he just dug her up. He takes her and wraps her up in like a blanket and takes her and and then he drives the the van and spots a hitchhiker out in the middle of ******* nowhere. Who's like, hey, stop. And he just drives away.  Josh  But much to his. Misfortune, his tiny red van gets a flat tire. He has to stop. He changes the tire. There's some police officers in a station wagon. They offer him help. He's like, Nah. And then they drive along, he gets back in his van and ohh the the British hitchhiker from earlier is now in the passenger seat. She's just invited herself into his car and is offering him high-powered weed. Which she then begins to roll a joint and we can all see that it is **** tobacco. Just it's just so obvious. It is if you've ever rolled tobacco and you got the like Bally, **** or something, you know what this is? It's not weed. Weed does never look like this.  John  No, it looks like if somebody took the world's smallest sheet of brown paper and ran it through the world's smallest paper shredder, yes.  Josh  And she's just going on and on about how like she even says that this stuff is worth its weight in gold and how like it's gonna, like, really, like, knock your **** out or whatever. She she rolls it up. She takes a. Passes it to him and he's like, no, thank you. And then she just passes out, like she cannot handle her ****. There's also a thing that's supposed to be suspense, which Joe D'amato has said he cannot do about like Anna's hand flopping in through the little window and him like. Her not seeing it and him trying to hide it, it does nothing. It's stupid. Yeah, I love how they tried to set it up by having him notice that the glass window that took effort to move just opens on its own for some reason. Yeah, I love how jiggly Anna's body is, too. It is just. It's another case of the very bouncy cars of yore.  John  It's that it's that brown juice.  Josh  Yeah, that jiggly brown juice. Uh, back at home, Frank unloads Anna's body and dissects her while the hitchhiker is still asleep in the van. Anna's ***** can be seen prominently and look remarkably similar to the **** tobacco that is keeping this whole situation afloat. There's some great skin cutting and gut pulling scene. This is done with the aforementioned pigskin and guts from the slaughterhouse. It looks real good, but apparently they like. Soaked the pig guts in red dye because like it is just staining her skin in a very not normal blood way, but it still looks great and there's like this whole scene where it's like she's lying naked on the table and you can see this like this pink foldy lip incision running down her body. And it's like, wow, that looks really gross.  John  Yeah, yeah, they did a good job with that as impress.  Josh  Yeah, and she almost did a really good job of looking dead and not like giggling at being tickled or like breathing and stuff like that. Every once in a while, you're like, oh, I saw you. I saw you. But you know.  John  She does a pretty good job for for someone who has to basically do nothing on camera.  Josh  And then then Frank Yanks out Anna's heart. He kisses it and then takes a big old chunky bite out of it, which causes blood to spurt out of the ventricles. It's so stupid. It's really stupid and amazing. Yeah, but yeah, it's real dumb. And it doesn't make any sense with the type of stuff that happens later in this movie, much less the stuff that has already happened.  John  And he's like, semi orgasmic when he. Does it too.  Josh  Oh yeah, he's super into it. Also, that heart is enormous.  John  It's like the size of his skull. I read that they used to sheep's heart and I just was looking at. That and going. I don't think that's a. Real heart that looks.  Josh  Plastic. I don't know. I don't know. Then he he pulls out his copper tubes, which he gets all heated up and shoves them just right up into Anna's nostrils. And then he vacuums out annae's guts. I guess her brain. Through the nose and it comes out as the chicken Mcnugget pink slime that we all saw on YouTube back in the day.  John  A watermelon smoothie.  Josh  So apparently all you do is you just shove a copper tube into each one and you start pushing air through one end and everything from the body just comes out the other tube in a nice like protein shake style.  John  Cleans it, right?  Speaker 5  Yeah, it's good you don't have.  Josh  To do anything. At the time, Nope. You ain't gotta blend it. Up it's fine.  John  No prep work at all.  Josh  At this point, the hitchhiker wakes up flops her way around the whole place, finds Frank doing this horrible thing with a dead body, screams, and then Frank goes and grabs her to get her.  John  To to get her.  Josh  And then he grabs a giant pair of like horse nail Clippers or something. And then while she is screaming and struggling for her life, he. Carefully and precisely proceeds to rip her fingernails off of her hand while she's screaming and struggling, and then after he gets the fingernails off of one hand, he smothers her to death. What's going on there, bro?  John  It makes no sense. And her screams are agonizing.  John  Ohh man yes.  Josh  And it's like that scene that is like the most. Italian horror movie scene I've ever watched in my life. He's like, ah, yes, you're screaming here. Let me torture your fingernails. I'm so strong.  Speaker 5  Then I'll smother you to death.  Josh  He stashes her body in the tiny van, which we can now see is about four feet tall. It it's really an amazing Little Feat of engineering. We see that Iris has witnessed the whole thing. She looked sternly at him. Then helps him dress Anna's body in a nice gown, paints her fingernails red, and they put her in the Lucy Desi twin bed up against each other. Situation the the next morning the the baboon guy shows back up. His client is interested in the baboon, he says, and he wants to. He wants to buy it back from from Frank and so he can sell it for a bunch of money. Frank's like, no, I don't need money. I don't do this for this. This is my hobby guy. That's right. He's he's. Yeah, he does. Taxidermy. Lots of taxidermy everywhere.  Speaker 5  It's so stupid.  Josh  It's so stupid and it turns out that it's just to let the funeral guy sneak into the house. We see him sneaking in through a back room. He doesn't find the Hitchhiker's body, but he does find some blood. He finds her necklace and then he gets back in. The funeral guy pays paid the the baboon guy the baboon. Guys like hell. What was the deal with that? And he's like, hey, why don't you go **** ***? Guy Frank sees that someone snooped it. It turns out that Iris hid the body. The two of them go into the bathroom now together after, like, saying. Mean things to each other to dispose of the body. They start taking all of her clothes off. She's a large woman, yeah. Iris starts hacking off body parts just like she's got. She's got this big butchers axe and she's just like looking around trying to figure out where to even begin. And then she just like, it's like, all right, I'm going to start over here and starts hacking away over here. Has a breathing mask on and he starts filling the bathtub with acid from. Bottles of what you would assume is port wine because it's a green glass bottle with the rope.  Josh  Stuff on the outside.  Speaker 5  It's like a.  John  Tea and tea bottle.  Josh  And they have five of. Them he just keeps.  Josh  Pouring more and more acid into the bathtub and he like the scene. Goes on forever. So she's she's chopping off the head. She like she. You see it? She like hangs. It's like dangling. She's got it from the hair. She flings it in there. So it's this horrible flesh eating acid and she's just chunking body parts into it without any regard for the splash.  John  No regard for the splash. She has no body protection on of any kind. He's wearing a giant rubber apron and gloves and that stupid mask, and she's just going.  Josh  They did a great job. It's it's one of those situations where, like they had the the actor like, move her head over to the side so that you don't see it in the shot anymore. Cause now it looks like she's like her head is gone. Same thing with her arm. They're just chopping off bits. It's real good, but it goes on forever. And at first, you're like, wow, this is taking too long. And then after a. While you're like this. Is ******* amazing.  John  I mean afterwards they have real carnage on the floor and she's like. Scooping up chunks of meat and like hip sockets and just blood like actual animal blood, you could tell just by looking at it. It's really disgusting and she's like basically cleaning up the carnage that she left behind and just, you know, and then the meantime, like dumping it all into this bathtub. Yeah, it's ******* great. I loved this scene. I love when the the cheesy skull with the eyeball still in it. Like floats up to the surface of the tub.  Josh  So much eyeball stuff in this movie, I didn't mention it earlier, but the part that the hitchhiker walked in on was when he was like, shoving a fake eye into Anna's empty eye socket. And she's.  Speaker 5  Like, it's so good.  John  Oh my God. And then so then. Let's buries the. Loopy remains of the hitchhike Chris and then and then afterwards they're in the they're in the kitchen slash. Eating table, whatever he's sitting at the table, she's washing up, like cleaning the bucket out from. You know this, this burial or dumping or whatever. And then without washing her hands or anything, she pours 2 bowls of disgusting soup. And then while she's doing and then she sits down and starts eating it like she's. Some kind of like cave woman. Just it's just like like basically just taking hands full of it and justice rubbing it across her face, hoping some will get in her mouth. And Frank is is is clearly like in his mind, he's seeing the gore from the scene earlier and then he can't take it, he gets up and barfs. What I can only describe his heavy cream. It's like, what the hell did this guy just drink a Fort like a pint of heavy cream for breakfast?  Josh  He up Chuck some half and half.  John  So it's so disgusting.  Josh  And she's still got, like, her arms are covered in, like, the black chunky water from the burial and. When did she have time to cook the slop? Is it implying that they're eating the hitchhiker like I don't understand?  John  That's what I kind of thought it. But then I'm like, but they they don't show or save anything. They threw it all in the in the splashy acid. So I don't, I don't know. It was great though.  Josh  It it is great and it doesn't make any sense because we just saw him kiss and take a chump out of a heart after like dissecting someone and yanking on the guts and stuff. So why is he now, like sickened by? It doesn't make sense.  John  He is an aversion to sue. So now we're at we're at. Anna's bed side. And he's moping again. And you know, whenever whenever Frank's moping, you can count on Mama lips to come in and and calm him down. So she sits next to him and starts feeling him up. Basically, she's like sticking your hands up under his. V next sweater. And then she dips, trowel and is like digging in for the happy ending and saying things like. Iris knows how to take care of him, doesn't she? So she's yeah, she strokes him out of his sadness, I guess. And then I guess I'm assuming he ****** his pants and then had to go change his pants. But anyways, back at the Funeral Home, we're in a back office and it's ******* filthy. It's a place. Like, what is going on? He's got, like, a looks like a bookshelf. Behind him and on one of the shelves is a casket. What a cool guy. So where this guy shows up and it's like he's hired a Private Eye to appear. Without any pay, go, go, research and provide this mortician Frank's entire life story, and then what he does, the guy like whips his wallet. He's like, here you go. Good work now.  Josh  He he pays him like you pay a bell, man.  John  It gives him a tip. And then we see Frank, who, who's dressed up like marathon man. He's like jogging through town and then suddenly he's in the mountains. And I mean the setting is beautiful. And then yeah, oh, what do you know, he's just happens to be jogging behind some hot girl who looks like she's never run a step in her life. She's like, first of all, she's not sweating at all, and she she can't. I mean, she could barely run in a straight line. And then, wow, she had twisted her ankle, and he's gonna have to help her, you know? So he he. He wants her to wait. You know, cuz he's going to go to the to the pharmacy. And get some liniment but. Then he realizes it would just be easier to carry her to his house. Where he rubs white cream on her ankle and she asks him if he's a doctor. Wow, you're really.  Josh  Good at that.  John  It's like with he just put.  John  And he, he like, kisses her hand and stuff like it's obvious that he's he's, you know, he's down to clown. Because apparently the handy that he just. Andy, that lips gave him earlier wasn't enough, so he he goes somewhere in the house to get he's on a gauze run and he stops. Of course, cause he has to visit dead Anna for a second. I don't know if he's like to get it up or whatever. And then and then jangle the jogger with the ankle calls for him. Calls for him, so he hides Hannah real quick, like, flips the bedspread up over her. She's like, like, weighs like £80.00, so he can kind of hide her under a bedspread. And then he he wraps her ankle. And you know, it's getting all good and she's. Like, oh, wait until you finish wrapping the ankle. So then they get into the bed right next to Anna, where the the matching twin beds with velvety blankets, and they start getting all feely and Frank pulls the bedspread down so he can look at Anna and kind of touch her or whatever so he can get the full corpse ***** and the jogger sees her. And for some reason this is upset by this. I don't know why. Freaks the **** out. So Frank bites a hole in her neck, which kills her, and then he eats it.  Josh  Whatever, it's so good.  John  So he's in some sort of strange orgasmic.  Speaker 5  Daze. He's just.  John  Blood on him. And the lips walks in, of course, because she's always there at the key moment, takes the jogress and tosses her into. That dude has a ******* crematorium in his basement.  Josh  She she hadn't.  Josh  Thought about that at the after the first one, she was like, all right, look, I can't chop up another body.  John  That was too much work, I thought, chopping up a body was going to be no big deal. How silly of me to forget that you have a crematorium in your taxidermy station. So they just they just toss the jogger into the crematorium thing and, uh, fire it up and then she does this cool, like scrunching up thing like she's. Yeah, it's great I call. Oh, yeah, I called it the taxidermy torium. And then, yeah, so it's amazing. But anyways, lips now has suggested that. She just she just she suggests that Frank get rid of Anna because you know, because she wants all the attention basically, but also because the, you know, it's crazy. And the odds of keeping a weirdly preserved dead body in your bedroom is probably. Not a good idea so. She says it's for his safety and she's like.  John  Forget about her. She's dead.  John  And we're alive. But Frank's not having it. He's going to keep her in her own room. She's getting all dressed up because, you know, they're going to have guests or whatever. Then the cops show up and she immediately puts on her nursemaid. Get up with an apron again because she can't have guests. You know, with the police to know that you're having guests. I didn't understand that.  Josh  There was a lot of her walking back and forth in a room, taking a gown off, putting a gown back on. It was like.  John  I don't think.  John  The cops care. They're just looking for a missing jogger. So she's kind of, you know, they're they're asking a bunch of questions outside and frank. Answering their questions, but obviously being vague and then she's a little bit more kind of aggressive, like pushing back and then they're like, you know, well, we could get a we could get a warrant, but we would really like to search the place if we could. And she's like, sure come on in. So they they go straight to the taxidermy torium. They're like looking around and the guys like, oh, these are these are amazing. What is this? It's like some taxidermied animal I didn't even. Catch what it was.  Josh  It's like a bird or.  John  Something. Yeah, like a bird.  Josh  Or a squirrel like it was. Just one he's like ooh.  John  And she's like, ohh well here, let me wrap that for you so you can take it home for free.  John  She just puts a piece of paper.  Josh  Like ohh here. Yeah, you wouldn't wanna.  Josh  Touch that. That's so weird.  John  Oh my God. And then the cops are like, well, you know, I think I've. Seen enough and they leave.  Josh  And yeah, whatever, and and then.  John  That was so strange. And then we we cut to a dinner table. She's back in her her gown or dress or whatever the ****. There's all these weird people in that in like leader hose and and **** sitting around the table and and then there's this woman who has a full on mustache. Like just rocking the stash? Like where no one's going to mention this, OK, Italy. And they're like, EZ, what the fathers spread, that you got the and she she brings in this suckling pig or piglet. It's really small, I don't know. And they're all sitting there and they ask about Frank.  Josh  Know Liz Wizard the Frank Carini?  Josh  They're all drinking like they've got like these, these tiny little cordial cups full of cranberry juice. I assume they're there's even this one, like, whenever the pig comes out there like and he's like alright, I know when people want me to do a thing and he like he goes to carve the pink but it like leaves the pig all the way in the middle of the table. So he's having to, like, reach all the way over with the fork and knife, and it's real awkward. And meanwhile, Frank is just moping outside. And then yeah, they call for him. He comes in. He doesn't say ****, but then Iris announces that they're going to get married.  John  What the **** was that? Where I'm like, how? How many times do I have to watch this movie and, you know, to go back and see the part where they talk about getting married because they don't? They never talked about it. This is literally the only scene in which that gets mentioned.  Josh  And we don't know who these people are. It seems like they're her friends, but she's the maid. I don't know what's happening.  John  It's it's butcher, Baker linguine maker.  Josh  Nice. Ohh man.  Josh  So that he just leaves while everyone's like mid cranberry juice toast and they're like ohh he must be feeling weird. I don't know. I got a little French in there. He goes to Anna's bedside and begins to cry and profess his forever love for her, and then goes for a jog. For some reason, yeah. At this point, the funeral guy is back. He's sneaking into the house again. Iris, all of the guests are gone. Iris is just **** face drunk. Honestly, the best job I've ever seen of a person in a movie. Stumbling around after waking up drunk like I was like, wow, that is, that is exactly what it looks like.  John  Her hair's all messy. It's great.  Josh  Yeah, she just can't really do a straight line. All good, she thought she heard someone. She's so she's. Stumbling around the house looking for Frank. It doesn't matter that she's drunk. Meanwhile, the funeral guy has found the one ugly, dingy poor people. Part of the house. It's like some basement or something where the ceiling is like 6 feet high. And it's all painted like ****, and he's, like, looking through stuff, and he finds Anna's body in a in a closet. It falls out like in the movie pieces, but this did come out before the movie pieces. I'm sure there are other movies that this coping, but I was like, hey. Just like in.  Josh  Then he he takes a photo.  Josh  Of the body laying on the floor and scoots out and then we see him developing the photo somewhere else.  John  Now we're in his his personal black room, yeah.  Josh  Ohh, it's so ******.  John  And why did she fall face first out of the dresser and land on her back?  Josh  She standing up in there?  John  It gets better.  Josh  It does, Iris then tells Frank to get rid of his gross doll. He slaps her. She tells him he'll be sorry. Then he leaves and goes to a discotheque.  John  As one do.  Josh  Yeah, he finds the one hoochie in the whole place. She's on the dance floor, surrounded by only men who are also dancing by themselves. No one is dancing together. None of these ***** Italian dudes are trying to approach her, and she is just doing the thing where you swing. Their ***** left and right as hard as possible. It's the most deliberate attempt for male attention I've ever seen. So he's just watching like a creep. He ends up bringing her home where she spends a good deal of time washing her **** in 1970s green water. John, you lived in the 70s, right? Why was the water always green?  John  Well, you see. In in France, what they would do is instead of having water run through the plumbing, they would use absinthe and then what you would do is put a little filter over the faucet head with sugar cubes in it. So as the absinthe passed through, it turned green.  Josh  That makes sense. That makes sense. I I I would assume in Ireland what it was is the pipes were made out of Clover.  John  That's exactly correct. Yes, the pipes were made of Clover and and so then you would. Then you would have boxes of Lucky Charms. I don't know. What I'm talking about?  Josh  There it is. That was good. I liked it. You stuck the. So yeah, so she's just in the bathtub washing her ****. Meanwhile, someone pulls up to the house in a taxi. Opens the door. It's Elena and his twin sister. Uh, iris is just. **** like she has no ******* idea what's up. She is just done with expressions. Yeah, she's lost. Frank sees this from the top of the stairs. She goes he he goes and he bullies. This is such a weird movie. He goes to to the discotheque. In the bathroom, he's. Like, hey, you have to leave now. I'll take you home. But you have to leave. And she's like, I'm not leaving until you put your come on me. And he's like, no, no, no. You have to leave. I'm gonna drive you home. And that's what happens. He like like. Smuggles her out the back, drives her home. This guy that just kills people. He's like, yeah. I'll take you home. It's going to be fine. So yeah, it's. Just that that happens and.  John  So well, you have to understand that he he felt sorry for her because she had very dirty ****.  Josh  So while while he's driving disco hoochie home. Iris is now left alone in the house with Anna. And So what she decides to do is she's going to. Move annas body into a spooky spot. Cut off the lights and then do a spooky voice at Elena like.  Josh  Woo the house is.  Josh  Jesus Christ, and to her credit, this is entirely effective and Elena cannot handle her ****. So she, like, backs up everywhere. Also, there's an amazing like giant bronze like furnace in the side of the room. I don't know what's going on. But that thing was ******* awesome. I need one of those.  John  Is that is that the thing that's covered in what looks like jade or something like? What the hell was that?  Josh  Like, like, shiny green.  John  Like wow, that is, it was a time machine.  Josh  You must have done so good in fascist Italy in this.  Josh  House time machine. I just come.  Josh  And so, yeah. So Elena is, like, spooking her way through the house. And then, like, I think she sees Anna's body propped up in the chair. And then she she turns around, and there's Iris in the shadows holding a knife the wrong way. Like they're they're. All sorts of different ways that you can hold the knife in a minute. Don't imagine any of those this is. The wrong way to.  John  Yeah, this is one step short of carrying it by the blade. I like when Elena's going through the House and she's got a candle to light her way and the way they they decided to shoot that was to hit her with a flashlight so that it would look like her. Candle was lighting the way when it's so clear that someone behind.  John  The camera is.  John  Just dosing her with a flashlight. It's like, yeah, why not?  Josh  So the very sight of Iris in the darkness with the knife is enough to cause her to collapse into a coma. Yeah, apparently she's done. Yeah, yeah, she she goes full blown, comatose, and then I. Chris very slowly comes up like it's it's hard. Like we're like, OK, she just wanted to scare the **** out of her, I guess. But no, she comes up to her very slowly and is like just step out because he can't build tension for ****. Joe Tomato knows this about himself after watching this movie, he cannot build. Mentioned for ****. So she just very slowly comes up to stab her. And then at the last second, I guess ******* frank, like, really took that hoochie home fast. She must live near by, that turns out.  John  She lives right.  Josh  Next door, Jesus in his in his like like isolated estate in the Italian countryside. He's just, like, got her back and and then drove back home real quick. I guess he knew that this was gonna be a problem. And so, just as she's bringing the knife down to stab Elena, he grabs her arm. He's suddenly there. And now they're fighting. ** *** she stabs him in the penis.  John  In the brown Jenkins.  Josh  Yeah, she separates the Frank from the beans. And he, like, does the whole. But then it's still good to keep fighting. So, so part of him getting stabbed in the penis as he falls back and, like sits in Anna's dead lap, the chair folds over there. He's, like, sprawling out on top of her.  John  He bites Iris's cheek off. He gives her a 50% Chelsea Grin.  Josh  She rips out his eye and more eyeball stuff. Yeah, and then he stabs her in the heart, which, which I'm sure Joe was like, ohh man, this is going to be really symbolic and help add to the tension.  Speaker 5  I'll teach them about suspense.  Josh  And then so Iris is now dead. He's stabbed her in the heart. Then he walks over to make sure that Elena's heart is beating. It is, and then he picks her up and carries her away. Later or something? Funeral Guy is now snooping around again. He just he can't get his fill of this situation.  Speaker 5  Is a new obsession.  Josh  We don't really know what his motive is either. He's just like looking for it. He he's snooping around, he finds Frank. Frank is still covered in blood. There's just blood all over his, like, dripping down out of his eye and and Frank is Manning the furnace and and Frank is, like, just conscious enough to, like, see the funeral guy and then pass out himself. And so the funeral guys like, oh, that's that's convenient. He looks in the furnace, he sees that there are bodies being burned. He he then sees Anna's body on the table and we find out this is in fact what he was here for, so he he picks up Anna's body. He drives. He puts the body in his car, drives away as he's driving off the property. We see he has the the photo that he took of Anna's body on the floor, and he drops it on the on the driveway, leaving the thing which is weird like it. Now we see what he wanted was Anna's body. Why he took the photo instead of just taking her body then we will never know. No, but he he he takes takes the body out. The photo he brings her body to the priest that presided over the funeral. They're talking about it. There's something about money being exchanged that didn't make sense. I guess I I think what we're supposed to get from it is that they found out that her body had been exhumed. And her parents paid him extra to get the body back or something like that, yeah. But it's super not clear. And then he he puts, he puts her body into the casket and him and the priest are talking. And then he slowly starts screwing the casket closed, and at this very moment with the coffin, shut the lid. Off and we see it's not Anna. In fact, it was Elena, and she's now flinging her arms and and just Jack Jaw opening her mouth in the most horrific, torturous expression ever screaming, screaming, flinging around, screaming, freeze frame. On her screaming face, it says the end, the end credits roll the goblin training video. Music plays movie over.  John  Oh my God. Ah, not never a dull moment.  Josh  No, no, many a confusing moment, but not dull.  John  Ohh yeah yeah yeah. Like like all Italian 70s or 90% of it makes no ******* sense. No idea.  Josh  I'm guessing there maybe there is a criticism of like the the wealthy Italian families. Like maybe this was playing into some stereotypes that I just don't know about.  John  Yeah, cause he's he like, inherited that fortune.  Josh  Right.  John  So he's just some spoiled rich kid who gets blow. He's from his nursemaid. I don't know what.  Josh  Yeah, that's right, the that's the the private investigator was like, yeah, I found out he's. Let's see here. He's like, ohh. OK. Here's a here's a tenner.  John  I couldn't have figured that out myself. He lives like *** **** castle.  Josh  So so John, yeah. But before we, before we. Dive into the things let's do the ratings.  Speaker 5    Josh  On a scale of 0 to 5, lonesome thing zero being this movie, doesn't it deserve to exist? And five, being that this is a masterpiece that other movies should be trying to emulate, and none of them ever will successfully rise to the occasion of, how would you rate Joe Demattos beyond the darkness parentheses? 1979.  John  I I don't know why I chose to do this 50. What four or five movies into the show, but it is. I decided to like break down into a comprehensive rating system, so like my first question is it horror 5? Yes, it's horror. It's straight up. Did I enjoy it? I gave it a.  John  3.5 you know?  John  OK, I enjoyed it. You know, overall production quality 2.5 pretty.  Josh  Yeah, that's that's yeah. But that's in.  Josh  The middle right? Yeah, yeah.  John  Effects, effects and makeup. I'm gonna give it a 4.5 because. Loved it. Atmosphere, which I think is important in horror films. I'm going to give it a 2.8 because the atmosphere is.  Josh  OK, OK. Yeah, yeah.  John  Terrible in that film. It's not scary at all. It's place and horror, I think is another important category. I gave it. A 3.8 because I think it is. It does have its place, but most people, and if they're not. Horror fans won't know about this, but if you study horror, particularly the 70s, this film does have its place and it is well deserved writing and acting. I gave it A2 and I think I was being generous. Overall, divided by what was that seven? I believe it comes out to 3.44, which is probably pretty damn close to what I would have come up with. Anyway, had I been purely subjective, which it's all purely subjective.  Josh  Right. Yeah. Fantastic.  Josh  I gave it a 3.4. What the ****? I.  Josh  I I I mean, I agonized over that 3.4 I I was like oh man. But I need to I need to move these numbers here. Alright so so my my rubric is 1. So in each of these it's a number between .0. 1 so it's like on a 10 scale. And then I just add them all together. So is it a horror movie? I gave it a .8 like so. That's a that's a 8 out of 10. Basically I enjoyed it. I gave it a nine technical horror. I gave it A7. You know, there's some some ways in which it like it wasn't scary and that, but but the actual. Effects were just phenomenal and and and really good technical film. I gave it a .2. Yeah, artistry and contribution. I gave it 8 and all at like .8 point 9, point 7.2 and .8. That's a 3.4. We've got good rubrics.  John  They're actually pretty and and quite similar in in certain respects. Now, to be fair, like so.  Josh  We both gave this 3 point a 3.4 and. A 3.44. This is not a 3.4 out of five movie it is. It is not nearly a what? That's almost A7. Of 10 it's not, but it is definitely a 3.4 out of five loathsome things, like on on our scale. That's where it belongs.  John  That's right. We we will not be included in the Pantheon, but if you're going based entirely on our our mentality, which you know we all know about that by now, then yeah, I think a 3.4 ish 3 point. Yeah, I think that's fair. I like that. We were off by 4-1 hundredths of.  John  A point, yeah, yeah.  Josh  Yeah. So that is a 6.84 out of 10 loathsome things. That's way, way high.  John  This movie sucked ***.  Josh  This movie is terrible, but I just enjoyed it so much.  John  I I mean, I could. I could watch it as soon as we're done recording again and love it just as much.  Josh  So we've got like the other ones like a a muck train and and the pit this is like in those that vein of movies where it's just ridiculous. But this was just way better than those.  John  It is it is it? It it's almost an actual movie.  Josh  Yeah. So so Joe D'amato. Rest in ***********. You you made something that we really enjoyed, even though it was like sleazy as ****. There's so much like. Unlike just like, yeah, let's get some **** in here. Let's, let's show the whole Bush like. We're going for it, but. But I mean it it it's just one of the only movies I've ever seen that transcends the sleaze into just. Absurdly amazing nonsense.  John  Yeah, it it really. It really is a blast to watch. It's so ridiculous. It's such so 70s. It's it's great.  Josh  Whenever whenever I saw the suckling and I was like, oh, I'm gonna have to tell John about this. And then when I. Talked to you about it? I was like, hey, have you heard of this movie? You've seen it. You're like, no, I. Haven't I was like.  Josh  Ohh yeah, it's gonna be so good. This is why we do this podcast. It's movies like this.  John  Ohh yeah absolutely. Yeah, I saw the cover. Maybe it looked vaguely familiar, but I didn't know. About this movie not at yeah.  Josh  And then I didn't even realize it until I was like going through it like the the goblin element. I was like ohh God John's gonna like this like, but it's all so terrible.  John  I know I'm. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna pinch a link on this and then it starts, starts good, starts strong for a good solid 8 or 9 seconds and then. Man, it just devolves into like training video stuff like you said. Yeah, that's it's that. Remember to turn your badge in at the end of the day.  Josh  You are required to wear the T-shirt and we will charge you for the T.  John  We will be leaving the bathroom doors open as a safety feature.  Josh  Remember, your manager is your friend.  John  If you encounter a homeless person washing their testicles in the sink.  Josh  Ohh, you get the idea. Yeah, yeah, if. A guy is hiding a baseball bat in his pants approach. Him from a distance. Please watch tape two to figure out what to do if you come across a pile of magazines covered and come.  John  And please grab a gluten free bagel on your way out the door.  Josh  Oh Barnes in problems. Good. All right. So yeah, yeah, a 6.84 any anything that you want to like, zoom in on and and and like, pay a special attention to or a favorite moment. Something that that made this a gym for you.  John  I mean the. The God there's. There were a lot. That's that's true. The the whole dismemberment scene was just classic. It was it was just pure. Pure Italian schlock. I mean that's that's what you you come for that and you have it. And yourself, Sir?  Josh  Ohh man I I just. All, all of the stuff with Iris, I mean, she's. The movie is about Frank, but it she is just such a great, weird villain. She's not even the villain, he's the villain. It's like he's the bad guy of the movie, but she's just so good and she eats up the screen every. Time she's on it. Your eyeball, like I could see why his career in softcore core *********** got started, but then didn't like finish because like, yeah, he's got, like, the eyes, he's got the hair, the jaw, like he's handsome. But your eyeballs just slip right off of him like he he could blend into a crowd of pretty people, but like the instant that she's on camera, you're like, whoa, what is she doing?  John  She's got a look. She just has that. There's just a look to her. He he has a look. What I would describe as a young Billy Joel.  John  So there you go with that.  Josh  So yeah, it was good. I loved it. If you can handle the problems, it's got some problems, but it's it's much easier to watch than some of the other weird stuff we've seen.  John  Yeah, yeah, it this this falls. Firmly in the place of horror.  Speaker 5  Yeah, you're you're good there.  Josh  Speaking of other things that things that we've watched, Sean, what about have you been watching anything else or consuming any other media or or doing any other cool things?  John  Hey, just the usual listening to a lot of audio books at work, horror audiobooks currently listening to a book called The Shoemakers Magician, which is written by an author out of Chicago named Cynthia Pelayo. She just won the Bram Stoker Award last night for her poetry, which is cool. And I guess is what like as long as I'm and it's a great book, by the way, it's it's about a woman who's, like, kind of obsessed with folklore, with old horror movies. And her husband is a homicide detective who is investigating a bunch of weirdly cult related murders. It's it's really interesting. And it's a nice mix of elements. So anyways, that's that's really the main one. The rest of this stuff is like I haven't seen any really horror movies or anything like that. I don't know. How about you?  Josh  It's a new. Movie The the directors name is DW Medoff it it's his feature film debut, it's called Pollen. It's.  John  Oh yeah, yeah.  Josh  Yeah, it's, it's good. It's super low budget and it it's kind of a I, I don't know if you're familiar with the mumble core idea of movies, it's very mumble core, very, very low budget like it you. You can see it in there. And it and it doesn't pull itself all the way out of the the low budget slums of like. Where it could be. Rated But it it it gets a little. Bit out of there. There's actually some some meat on the bones and it's it's an interesting watch. In some ways. It's kind of problematic. It would probably be better if. It was written and directed by a a woman because it's very much like a **** **** and me too, and a status quo in the workplace type of deal. I'd recommend watching it. I think it's only available for rent, so I would recommend y'all go out there, throw a few dollars on it, give a a new upcoming creator a a little, a little extra spending cash for and encouragement for their next project. It's it's good like they're they're trouble. I'm not, I'm not. Qualified to to say whether or not it portrays things like that in a good way, so it's very possible that the. Like did his research had, like, consultants, that made sure that this was done the right way? It's just like they're little parts of me. That's like I suspect maybe this. Could have been done. Better, but I don't know, but it was enjoyable to watch.  John  Well, I I I I hadn't seen it and I. Mean saw that it was. Out there and it looked interesting. So yeah, now I'll definitely watch it.  Josh  Yeah, it's really good. And so my TV just died, right? Right. Right before our we recorded our last episode. And I got a replacement. And I actually. It, like the old one, was 4K, but it was one of those like, not really 4K things. And this one is actually 4K with the O LED. And the first thing that we watched on, well, the first thing I watched on it was a old system of a down music video which looked like trash because it was from like 2004. And then we watched King of the Hill. So it was like we're not really doing this TV justice. So we watched Ant-Man. And it's ******* gorgeous on this TV. It like, I'm gonna try to watch as much as possible on there. I'm gonna have to see if I can get my headphones on there, because watching stuff on a really actually high quality screen TV is amazing. It's it's a game changer for real, yeah. Yeah, like with that other TV, like when we got it. And watch stuff on. It I was like ohh neat. It's big and then. With this one I'm like. Ohh look I can see. Stuff moving and ah, it's good. Yes, that's it's.  John  Yeah, it's a totally different experience when some when something shot in 4K it it, it looks different. I mean it. The motion tracks different and you know the the the the level of clarity is is like like it's yeah. Like you do see a lot of things you wouldn't see otherwise, but it's just. It's almost like you're looking through a damn window.  John  Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's.  Josh  And sometimes some of the things even look a little bit weird, like like on old British TV shows where, like it, it's got like that weird blurry effect. It kind of does that sometimes, but it's still good. I'm still getting used to it. Sometimes I kind of hate it, but most of the time it's very rad. And what are we watching? Next time, John.  John  Now, next time we're watching a movie that is heavily influenced by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre, which is fine with me if you pull it off, it's a A I believe it's an Indonesian film called Maccabe. And it's directed by Timo Jazz Zanto or something like that. I can't pronounce his name. He did some of the VHS stuff. He did my my personal favorite VHS film, the one with the Crazy murder cult that summons a demon.  Josh  I see, yes.  John  I love that film. He made that. We also made some of. Those like super high violence tower type movies, you know, like he kind of got in on that thing you. Know where the. Guys are that kind of world. He did some. Of that stuff too.  Josh  Was was he involved in, like the raid redemption?  John  He might have been. I can't remember the connection I'll have. I'll look it up for the next for the for when we recorded. But the movie itself is it's like a bunch of young people in a van and. They basically you're out in the middle of nowhere and it breaks down and they get taken to this house, which in this case is like this big Gothic kind of mansion, and it's run by this matriarch and her weird family. And yeah, it turns out that they're just like, murderous cannibals. And it is ******* over the top and amazing.  Josh  Oh yes, I haven't looked up anything about it, but that that sounds ******* great. Do we there? Have you seen it recently? Are there anything that we can warn our fans about?  John  Well, it's extremely violent and the violence is.  Speaker    John  Is yes, it's over the top, but it is. It is pretty, you know. I mean it's very graphic like it's, you know, there's insane amounts of blood and stuff like that, but it's just and and and then the situations that the violence is presented in are are pretty intense. I mean, so it's it's a very unflinching movie which is kind of his thing. But he's a he's kind of a gonzo guy, but it's a lush film. So, yeah, it's gonna be a lot of fun.  Josh  I'm looking forward to it and I hope you, our listeners are looking forward to it as well. We will be releasing the episode where we cover that in two weeks. So do watch it cautiously so that you can keep up with us because we're so good at what we do.  John  Ohh we are state-of-the-art and in the meantime I'm sorry that you all have to take a bath in Chianti. Acid.