One of us is Board

Hero (2002) is up next in our poorly named kinda Wuxia month in honour of Calum's birthday. Hero is beloved on the internet, but is it beloved by Sam and Calum? Well, it certainly is colourful and that alone gives it points. We're easily distracted by shiny things. We expertly demonstrate our lack of knowledge in this one, so enjoy!Join us next week as we watch Curse of the Golden Flower (2006)

House of Flying Daggers (2004) is up next on Calum's Chineaboo Birthday Month! Calum has been given the early gift of a cold, so please enjoy his especially sonorous voice. If you miss Twilight month, you will probably enjoy this episode. If you enjoy this film, Calum is fine, Sam might be in trouble. Take a shot every time the words style and substance are said and let us know how you get on.Join us next week for Hero (2002)

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) kicks off Calum's birthday month. We're watching Wuxia movies, but we can't think of a name for this month that won't get us in trouble. Sam isn't educated enough, and Calum is Calum. Cookies to anyone who can think of a name. Hopefully, this month and this film will get us some desperately needed cool points. Join us next week as we watch another Wuxia film that Sam can't remember the name of right now.

What better way to conclude our second Carry On month than with a look at another of Sam's favourites from her childhood? And hey! I'm getting to write a description for once! (It's me - Calum! Mwah hah hah hah hah!).Carry On Henry, as one might expect, follows a fictionalised account of Henry VIII and his marriage to Marie of Normandy. A lot of familiar faces from the Carry On franchise appear in this one, so surely that guarantees a good time?June is Calum's birth month, so join us next time for a brand new theme of his choosing, kicking off with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000). Watch out, Sam! Subtitles!

Carry On Cruising (1962) is next on our Carry On Carrying On Month. Will a cruise beat the highs and excitement of last week's spying heist? The premise would have you believe that it is unlikely, and it would be right. The stakes have never been lower, but that's okay, we're not here for the plot; we're here for the banter. This episode is full of terrible, terrible banter. Don't say we didn't warn you.Join us next week as we watch Carry On Henry (1971)

Carry On Spying (1964) is up next in our Carry On Again Month. Spoiler alert, this one might be Calum's favourite Carry On film (for now). If you haven't seen this one, you're missing out on some of the most quotable Carry On moments, and you know how we usually cringe at quoting stuff so that's saying something!Join us next week as we watch Carry On Cruising (1963)

Carry On Cabby (1963) starts our new month and new theme. We enjoyed doing on the Carry On series so much that we've decided to do some more. Sam has chosen another fun selection of films for Calum to enjoy for the first time. If you want to join us in the Carry On Rewatch, we're watching Carry On Spying, Carry On Cruising, and Carry On Henry. Feel free to send us any comments you have on the films; we always welcome corrections, and we're sure fans will have many. Join us next week as we watch Carry on Spying (1964)

Yellow Submarine (1968) is the last film to feature in our Quirky Animation month, and this one certainly fits the brief. Believe it or not, Sam hadn't watched this until Calum decided we were watching this for this podcast. This means she doesn't get to keep her passport. She'll be moving to Alaska. Hopefully, there is good Wi-Fi there. Join us next week as we watch Carry On Cabby (1963)

Paprika (2006) is up next in our quirky animations month. You'll have probably heard all about this month on social media because Sam has been really on top of posting about it. No one can remember why this film was chosen for us to watch, but it definitely fits the theme. Oh Japan.Join us next week as we watch Yellow Submarine (1968)

The Iron Giant (1999) is next on our quirky animation month. This one is a bit of a palette cleanser as it's the least quirky, but it's still quirky enough to pass. The main character is called Hogarth and that says it all. This one was a bit of a childhood trauma for Sam, which is something Calum didn't know before he chose it, to be fair. Will this viewing and discussion cure that? Maybe. Join us next week as we watch Paprika (2006)

The Triplets of Belleville (2003), or Belleville Rendez-vous (2003) if you're in the UK, kicks off our Quirky Animation month! That's the second quirky movie month that Calum has chosen for us all, proving that he just isn't like the other girls. Sam watched this in French, Calum watched it in 'English,' but weirdly that didn't make a difference. Will Sam get to crap all over Calum's dreams, like he crapped all over the Bratz Babies? Maybe. The good news is, you're all treated to another French laugh.Join us next week as we watch The Iron Giant (1999)

Toy Story (1995) concludes our month of films that made Sam. It was a good run, but all good things must come to an end. Toy Story was released in the same year as Sam, but has it aged as gracefully as her? You'll have to listen and find out.Next week we start our uwu quirky films month. Named that way to make Calum say uwu. It's punishment for making us start with The Triplets of Belleville (2003)

A Bug's Life (1998) is up next in the 'Movies That Made Me' month, and maybe we didn't peak as early as we thought. Well, Mulan is still the peak, just to be clear. However, A Bug's Life is surprisingly good, to the point that it even makes Calum positive for a couple of minutes. So why has this film been so forgotten to the sands of time? We don't answer that on this podcast because we're not that kind of smart. We do have a good time though.Join us next week as we watch Toy Story (1995)

The Little Mermaid (1989) is next in "The Films That Made Me" month! We peaked at Mulan and that is okay. This film is worth watching for Under the Sea alone. However, isn't it funny how you can love a film yet still be underwhelmed when revisiting it? That inner child has a lot to answer for. Robyn saved this episode by sending Sam the files to get it edited, so cookies for her! If you can't be bothered listening to this full episode (rude), at least give the wee segment at 20 minutes a listen for your mental well-being. Enjoy!Join us next week as we watch A Bug's Life (1998)

Hercules (1997) is up next on our "Movies That Made Me" month, celebrating the 9th anniversary of Sam's 21st birthday. Is this as good as Mulan? No. But is it close? Quite! In fact, if you ask the people that Sam made watch all of these on repeat, this does in fact beat Mulan (in their wrong opinion). Once again, we attempt to talk about history and myths, and once again we do a pretty poor job of it. We didn't promise accuracy, nor entertainment.Join us next week as two withered old hags watch The Little Mermaid ( 1989)

Mulan (1998) is the first film in our celebration of all things Sam. Birthday month season has arrived again, and we've decided to treat you and ourselves by watching the best Disney/Pixar films. Mulan (1998) is an interesting choice as the first watch of the month, as it is very obviously the best Disney film of all time. The other films this month are great, but do they have a Li Shang? Nope. But then, neither does that remake that we don't speak of. Disney peaked in 1998.Join us next week as we watch Hercules (1997)

Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018) wraps up our Running From The End of Youth month, and what a way to go. Every Maze Runner and Dylan O'Brien fan knows it's a miracle that this film even exists, so we treat it with the reverence it deserves. In this episode, you have the same shenanigans the rest of the month offered: extreme thirst, overthinking, and apocalyptic reasoning. You also get a little cameo from Sydney for you to enjoy so listen out for that.Join us next week as we start off March with Mulan (1998)

Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015) is up next in our 'Running Away From The End of Youth' month. May the crisis continue evermore, as we revisit the film that made up most of Sam's dissertation back when she in her early 20s. It's okay though, we have some zombies and Dylan O'Brien to distract us. This film is one we both enjoy, hence the longer episode. It's weird how fun it is to not suffer through films. Who would have thought?Join us next week as we wrap this up with Maze Runner: The Death Cure (2018)

The Maze Runner(2014) is the first in our 'Running From the End of Youth' Month. That's a working title that speaks a lot about the mindset of the poor person editing. But that's okay because Dylan O'Brien is here to save the day and give us a fun film to talk about. Sam's dissertation topic was this series, so expect some longer episodes than normal. It's up to you whether that's a good or bad thing.Join us next week forThe Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (2015)

We're back! Hopefully, you missed us. We've decided to celebrate our fourth anniversary by talking about our latest 48 Hour Film Project. Why? Because it's our show and we can talk about what we want to. Also, that film was a lot of fun and we love talking about it. If you're thinking about doing a 48 Hour Film project this year, especially in Scotland, this will help you set expectations and prepare for the good times ahead. Thanks for listening or putting up with us for four years! Join us next week as we watch The Maze Runner (2014)

A Christmas Prince is the final episode of this edition of our Netflix Christmas Inception. What a film we've picked to end the year. This film is infamous among the Netflix Christmas movie stans and we can see why. This podcast will probably get us tutted at in the very least, but we regret nothing. We had a lot of fun recording this, and recording this year in general. Thanks for showing up, despite the rollercoaster year we've had. Here's to a great 2025! We will be back in mid-January. Don't miss us too much!

The Holiday Calendar (2018) is the first episode of our 3rd edition of the Netflix Christmas Movie Inception. Join us as we fall further down the rabbit hole in a magical land where the stakes have never been lower. A poor little rich girl with a fantastic creative job and a doting "friend" yearns for a better creative job. It's a truly tragic tale. No worries, we shall get through it together. Join us next week as we finish the year with A Christmas Prince (2017)

Carry On Abroad is the last film in our Carry On Monthing line-up, and honestly, we're sad to see it go. What an unexpected joy in a chaotic year. This week we discuss our MVPs of the Carry On Series and our least favourite hotel experiences. If you've seen this movie, you know why that's relevant. If you haven't, we've probably just spoiled the premise in the description alone; sorry! Join us next week as we start our annual Christmas Netflix Inception Month with The Holiday Calendar (2018)

Carry On Matron is up next in our Carry On Monthing line-up! Now this one is the one to beat. Anyone who watches Carry On films knows this one is one of the best. However, is this episode one of our best? Well, a lot is censored. If you want to hear the uncensored version, leave us a wee comment and maybe we will release it. Carry On Abroad (1972) concludes our Carry On Month, so make sure to join us for that!

Carry On Doctor is up next in our Carry On Monthing Month! Remember how we said we would be watching Carry On Matron? We changed our minds. If you've somehow managed to avoid seeing any clips of Carry On Doctor, if not the whole film, then you're really missing out on some chaos. How do we relate this film to Mulan? You'll have to listen and find out. Join us next week as we watch Carry On Matron (1972) for real

Carry On Screaming! (1966) kicks off our Carry On Podcasting month! The Carry On series is a very British comedy franchise that starred the same team of actors in 30ish films. If you haven't heard of them, you're missing out. Calum has somehow avoided them all until now, but this month will change that. Will he enjoy them? Or will he keep to his regularly scheduled negativity? You'll have to listen to find out. And if that doesn't capture your interest, we do also talk about the morality of mummies. Yes, that's somehow relevant. Join us next week as we watch Carry On Doctor (1967)

Halloween (1978) wraps up our Slasher Month. This is one of the most iconic horror movies of all time, so of course Sam hasn't seen it. She was also surprised to learn that the Austin Powers guy had nothing to do with it. In this episode we do maths, discuss whether we are fit enough to become serial killers, and talk multi-verses - so there's a lot to enjoy. Join us next week as we kick-start our Carry On Month!

Friday the 13th (1980) is up next in our Slasher Month, but the true horror lies in the fact that this little summary box erased itself after this was all written out. You'll never get to know how good it was before. All the secrets to life were here. Oh well. This episode contains the usual shenanigans and lots of chat about how SHOOK we were at the twist—no clues as to how we managed to avoid having that spoiled. We also discussed the video game a lot. Does anyone else remember it? It was our only interaction with the series before now, which is why we were so surprised at this first installment. Join us next week for Halloween (1978)

Child's Play (1988) is next in our Slasher Month of Terror! Calum picked this film, but Sam gets weirdly defensive over Calum trying to apply logic. Is it because it's a film about a possessed doll? Or is it because she has decided to rain on his parade and create his nightmare? Probably a mixture of both. In this moment I can't remember what we're watching next week so hopefully one day I remember to update this part.

Scream (1996) kicks off our annual celebration of the spooky side of cinema. In our 2024 fright fest, we're looking at some of the best slasher films (that we know of). Prepare to share in Calum's terror of not knowing where his own point is going, and Sam's fear of suffering through eighty minutes of cinema without a Dylan O'Brien appearance. Sit down, grab some snacks, and keep the light on. Then join us next week as we watch Child's Play (1988)

American Psycho (2000) is the last film in our unlikeable protagonists month! We may have jumped the shark with this one. How? Well, no sh*t Sherlock is a serial killer a little bit unlikeable. This particular potential serial killer is especially heinous, so it almost feels a little unfair to compare poor little Danni Sanders to him. Norman Bates does segue us nicely into Halloween month though. Join us next week as we kick off our Spoopy Slasher Month with Scream (1996).

Ruby Sparks (2012) is up next on our Unlikeable Protagonists Month and wow is the guy in this unlikeable. Consent issues aside, the biggest crime he commits against humanity is being a terrible author. How dare you make us listen to terrible prose. We shall not stand for this. We have a lot of fun chats about men written by women and women written by men in this one, so you're in for a treat. Join us next week as we watch American Psycho (2000)

Not Okay (2022) kicks off our unlikeable protagonist month and the beginning of our comeback tour! Did you miss us? We missed you! We decided to ease ourselves back in by watching films in which we are encouraged to judge people harshly. Not that we need encouragement to do that. Bonus fun factor, we also get to rate this film in terms of O'Briens! A winner of an episode all around! Join us next week as we watch Ruby Sparks (2012)

In From The Side (2022) wraps up our sad bullshit month, otherwise known as 'Not Like Other Movies' month. We're finishing strong and clueless, as we know very little about the moshpit sports ball. However, we do know a little something or two about Henrys. You're even getting a longer episode so we can properly whinge about him. There won't be an episode next week as we're off on our usual Summer break. Fear not as we will be back in August with our Unlikeable Protagonist Month! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

The Breakfast Club (1985) is next in our 'Not Like Other Movies' month. We're going to conveniently drop the Sad Bullshit thing for a week because this isn't all that sad. This is one of those films that everyone has seen (apart from Sam), so you'll probably hate what we have to say (it's not bad). Tag yourself, I'm the flare gun that went off in the locker. Join us next week as we watch In from the Side (2022) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Lilting (2014) is up next in our 'Not Like Other Movies' month, otherwise known as 'Sad Bullshit' month. If you like awkward dancing, stubborn old ladies, and Alan; this film is perfect. If you like all your audio in sync with your visuals, you might have a bit of a tough time. We land somewhere in the middle of those two sides. Join us next week as we watch The Breakfast Club (1985) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

The Selfish Giant (2013) is up next in our 'Not Like Other Movies' month, more fondly known as 'Sad Bullshit' month. This film fits the theme perfectly! You may have guessed by the title that it's based on the Oscar Wilde short story, and it kind of is if you squint and spin around a bit. Or not. If someone would like to explain how it's related we'd be happy to hear it. Join us next week as we watch Lilting (2014) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

It's Calum's birthday month which means we get a brand new theme picked by him! A Ghost Story (2017) kicks off our 'I'm Not Like Other Movies' month, otherwise known as 'Sad Bullshit' Month. That's right dear listener, most of the films are going to be depressing hipster movies. Are you hyped to have an existential crisis with us? If so, you're in luck! We get weirdly philosophical in this one. Join us next week as we watch The Selfish Giant (2013) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) is the last film in our unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel month and it is possible that we may have been led astray by the internet again. Why did you mean-spirited meanies tell us this film was bad? Why did we listen? The whole joke of this month was for this film and it relied upon it being an unnecessary sequel. Alas. And yes, we are mostly fine with THAT opening scene. Join us next week for a new theme! It's Calum's birthday month so we shall be watching sad bullshit. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Spider-Man 3 (2007) is up next in the unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel month! Now, does this film belong here? Or did the internet being mean only make us think this belonged here? Probably the latter. Has anyone seen this film recently? Yeah, it's cringey, but it's fun cringe. So join us as we celebrate Tobey Maguire in all his dorky glory. We hope you have your eyeliner and straighteners ready. Join us next week as we watch Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Shrek Forever After (2010) is up next in our unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel month! Quick! What is your favourite Shrek film? If you didn't answer Shrek 2 (2004), you are wrong. Sorry if that was you, dear listener. What we can all agree on, is that your favourite Shrek film probably isn't Shrek Forever After. Or Shrek the Third (2007) for that matter. You can choose between the first or second one. Join us next week as we watch Spider-Man 3 (2007) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Toy Story 4 (2019) kicks off the unnecessary sequel to the unnecessary sequel month, where we will be watching unnecessary sequels to necessary sequels. The concept is a little confusing so we thought we'd start easy. For example, Toy Story 2 (1999) is one of the best sequels of all time. Toy Story 3 (2010) gets away with it because of nostalgia. However, did we need another movie after that? We'll let you be the judge. Join us next week as we watch Shrek Forever After (2010) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002) concludes our unnecessary sequel month, and man is this is a weird one. Did you watch the end of The Hunchback of Notre Dame and despair that Quasimodo never got laid? No? Neither did we. However, Disney decided that this would simply not do so they made a pretty girl for him to go out with. Yes, he's just as shallow as everyone else. No local bog witch dating apps for him! Join us next week as we watch Toy Story 4 (2019) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Titanic II (2010) is up next on our unnecessary sequels month! Oh? You thought it was going to be Space Jam: A New Legacy? Well, you must have heard wrong. After all, how could we pass up the opportunity to see a gigantic boat crash a second time? What a twist! Will this be the film that finally adds a 'bored' tally to Sam's list? How could it? Surely the stakes have never been higher? Join us next week as we watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame II (2002) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023) is the second film in our unnecessary sequel month. Does it deserve to be here? Probably. Tell us what happens in the first Chicken Run film. Quickly. See? Unless you're one of the top stans, you probably don't remember. Why is that the case? Well, the first one was made in 2000 and while it is good, it's never really been spoken of again in the wider public sphere. Join us next week as we watch Space Jam: A New Legacy (2021) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Mulan II (2004) kicks off our Unnecessary Sequel Month, and we may have unnecessary sequel'd too close to the sun. For those not in the know, Mulan is Sam's favourite film ever. Which is why this horrific betrayal stings so much. Ever wanted to see your favourite characters turned into poor imitations of themselves? Just watch literally any Disney sequel, but especially this one. Can we find something redeeming? Listen and find out! Join us next week as we watch Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (2023) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005), otherwise known as The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl in 3-D (2005), is the last film in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. It's been a fun dive into the very early 2000s, but all good things must come to an end. Will we be able to bore Calum to tears yet again? Here's hoping. Watching a 3D film without the 3D effects is going to help on that particular quest: that's for sure. Join us next week as we kick off unnecessary sequel month with Mulan II (2005) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

The Water Babies (1978) is up next in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. Alternate subheadings for this episode include; obesity to the rescue and racist tuna. So, you know you are in for a treat today. This is possibly the most fever-dream-like of all the films we have done this month, but a lot of that is probably down to it being a 70s release. Join us next week for Sharkboy and Lavagirl (2005) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) is up next in our Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. Now, if you're a Barbie cinematic verse connoisseur like myself and my siblings (and my mum), you'll know that this is the inferior of the original four Barbie movies. It is, however, the most fever-dream-like one. There will be no wholesome duets about wanting to be a poor person, instead we have high-pitched noises. I do hope you're all enjoying this month, because Calum isn't, and isn't that a joy in itself? Join us next week for The Water Babies (1978) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Aquamarine (2006) is up next on Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back. 2006 was the year of Mermaids, but Calum somehow missed out on all the fun. No worries though, as we are giving him a taste of it here! He's decided to show his age (72) in this episode, as he's back to clutching those pearls. This is apt because, well, Mermaids. Besides that, we frolic in the sun and fantasize about Raymond, so you're in for a treat this week. Join us next week for Barbie of Swan Lake (2003) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message

Welcome to March and a brand-new theme month! This month we've given Sam's sisters the controls, and they've decided we're kicking off with Bratz Babyz (2006). As you can tell from this first pick, Childhood Fever Dream Month II: The Siblings Strike Back is going to be an adventure. If you're a fan of Foley artists, you will love this film! If you don't, and you're under the age of 30, you won't have any idea what we're talking about. It is on YouTube for free though! Join us next week as we watch Aquamarine (2006) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/one-of-us-is-board/message