Undone Redone

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with author Kristen Jenson to discuss protecting our children from pornography exposure. Kristen tells parents how to start a conversation with their kids about the dangers of pornography and how to empower them to reject it altogether. Kristen is the founder of Protect Young Minds and best-selling author of Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids and Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds. Through her book, Jenson helps parents teach children what porn is and what children should do when they encounter it. Our listeners can learn more about Kristen by visiting https://www.protectyoungminds.org/.

On this episode of the Undone Redone podcast, Tray sits down with Kimball Lewis, CEO of EmpoweringParents.com to discuss parenting during the pandemic. Kimball lays out the process of how parents can properly instruct and work with their children through the pandemic. This includes using technology for both classes and entertainment, how parents can set guidelines for their kids while learning from home, and how to properly discipline them if boundaries are crossed. Our listeners can learn more about Kimball and his ministry by visiting EmpoweringParents.com.

On this episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody are finally back to usher in Season 9 of the show! They discuss the many projects and courses they have been working on since the start of 2021, and what the future holds for The Undone Redone Podcast.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with returning guest John Lynch to discuss his new book, On My Worst Day: The Narrative Changes When Redemption Enters In, and the performance treadmill so many men and women find themselves on when pursuing their faith. John talks about getting out of this orphaned mindset that many men fall into, that God is not just standing on the sidelines wringing His hands and shaking His head at us. John then asks our listeners "What if every single moment of every single day—He had been magnificently redeeming your worst days into your best ones?" Our listeners can learn more about John on his website. https://www.johnlynchspeaks.com/, and purchase On My Worst Day here on amazon, https://www.amazon.com/My-Worst-Day-Narrative-Redemption/dp/1775246892.

Tray and Melody are joined on this episode by author Laine Craft to tell her story of starting her marriage again from scratch. Laine shares how she and her husband Steve worked through years of strife and hardship to reform their marriage in order to find a new, more healthy “dance” together. Laine also explains how she has walked with thousands of women who have faced everything from abuse and betrayal to simply "falling out of love" with their spouse and how God teaches us to pick up the pieces and start again from scratch. Our listeners can learn more about Laine as well as purchase her books by visiting lainelawsoncraft.com.

Undone Redone's 3rd annual Open Your Purse gala will be held virtually this year! Join us this Thursday night, October 22nd! Our online auction will begin at 5 PM CST and the livestream pre-show starts at 6 PM CST with the program starting at 6:30 PM CST.  We have over 75 purses from designers like TopShop, Kate Spade, Coach, Furla, Chloe, Rag & Bone, Prada, Alexander Wang, Stuart Weitzman, Stella McCartney, & many others!  Go to openyourpursegala.com for all of the event information, including the link to download the Handbid app, a sneak peek at some of the purses that will be auctioned-off, the livestream link, our instafeed on Instagram, and much, much more!

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray chats with authors Dan Britton and Jimmy Page to discuss their latest book, Wisdom Walks, and the four relationships men must have in their lives. Dan and Jimmy break down these four relationships: The Walker, The Warrior, The Watchman, and The Workman, and how we can use these four relationships to become the best version of ourselves and to maximize our emotional connection with others. They also discuss what it means to walk purposefully with Jesus and begin to live a life of meaning and significance that we were created for. Our listeners can learn more about Dan and Jimmy as well as purchase their book Wisdom Walks by visiting http://www.wisdomwalks.org/.

On this week's show, Tray and Mel have a conversation with Joe and Hilarie Barry about surviving infidelity. Hilarie courageously shares what it was like to be blindsided by Joe's infidelity, the emotional rollercoaster of partner betrayal, and how she deals with the resulting PTSD-like symptoms.  Joe speaks about his need for help in getting well, working through his addiction, and what his journey to recovery has looked like. Today, they speak with other couples dealing with infidelity and show that there is hope and healing after the pain of betrayal. Our listeners can pick up a copy of Hilarie's Book, We Survived Infidelity, on Amazon by clicking here and can contact Hilarie directly by visiting her website at https://hilariebarry.com/.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with returning guest Sharon Hersh to discuss belonging. Sharon asks our listeners an important question, "What would happen if you declared that life is not all about your pain, your accomplishments, your abuse, or your rights?" She helps us explore what could happen in each of us if we bravely embrace the truth of the innate worthiness and welcome God freely offers to all. Our listeners can learn more about Sharon and pick up her book "Belonging" by visiting her website: http://www.sharonhersh.com/

Author Gordon Dalbey joins Tray on this week’s episode to discuss his seminal book for men, Healing the Masculine Soul. Gordon shares his thoughts about why so many men struggle with their masculinity and how true manhood is discovered and the power to walk it out in our lives. He explains that the source of men's struggles is multifaceted…from our current throwaway culture surrounding divorce, the rapid spread and abuse of pornography, to the sense of shame that often gets masked by excessive self righteousness and pride. Our listeners can learn more about Gordon and his work, purchase his book, Healing the Masculine Soul, and contact him directly by visiting his site at  https://www.abbafather.com/.

This week Tray sits down with author and coach GS Youngblood. GS Youngblood is the author of the book The Masculine in Relationship and a coach who teaches men how to learn to live, love, and lead in their partnerships. He walks our listeners through the 3-Part blueprint to develop a masculine core in their relationship and learn that the model of masculine power doesn't have to encroach on their wives and their feminine power. Our listeners can learn more about GS by visiting his website https://www.gsyoungblood.com/ and purchase The Masculine in Relationship here: https://amzn.to/2GYH6Zu

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody chat with Ian Cron, the “champion of the Enneagram”. Ian is the best-selling author of the book The Road Back To You and host of the popular podcast, Typology. Ian shares his personal story—a journey that led him through pain, cynicism, and restoration—and ultimately into the Enneagram. In this interview, Ian explains the 9 types of people identified by the Enneagram and how our personalities are powerfully influenced by our motivations. From identifying self-awareness to working with the ego and learning to not take oneself too seriously, Ian gives our listeners the tools they need to better understand where they fall on the Enneagram and what they can learn as a result of this knowledge. Our listeners can learn more about Ian and all of his works by visiting https://ianmorgancron.com and can listen to the Typology Podcast by visiting https://typologypodcast.com.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray sits down with author Bruce Pagano to discuss his newest book, Three Commands: Jesus' Fulfillment of the Law Through Love, and what it truly means to love one another, especially after infidelity. He shares the story that lead him to write the book and how he is using it to minister to others throughout the country as a professional counselor. Bruce also talks about how loving each other as members of Christ’s body unlocks the fullness of a relationship with God, which equips us to lead others into His kingdom. Our listeners can learn more about Bruce by visiting his website, https://brucepagano.com/, and purchase his book on Amazon by going to https://amzn.to/3i2lY2p.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody talk with author and speaker Randy Hemphill as he shares his story of going through the trauma of betrayal as a man. Randy shares his experience with grieving through his betrayal and how important it is for men to allow themselves to properly grieve after experiencing infidelity in marriage. He also shares that there comes a time in every man's journey with God where tips and techniques on how to be better simply do not work. Instead of trying to change ourselves through willpower and effort, Randy reminds us that only God can bring about lasting heart-change. You can learn more about Randy's ministry and purchase his new book, The Restored Man: Becoming a Man of God, by visiting https://therestoredman.com/.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody chat with author and speaker Sharon Hersh. Sharon shares the idea that addiction can be a gift and that oftentimes the areas that are shattered by trauma and betrayal are the areas that needed to be addressed in a marriage. Sharon explains it does not excuse the abuser for creating the trauma in the relationship, but that the brokenness that comes from addiction helps to create a new paradigm in the relationship that can be the catalyst to break free from addiction as a whole.  Ms. Hersh received an M.A. from Colorado Christian University, and is a Licensed Professional Counselor. She is the mother of two college-aged children and she is a frequent speaker at universities, seminaries, conferences, and retreats. Sharon has written numerous books such as Bravehearts: Unlocking the Courage to Love with Abandon, Mom, Sex Is No Big Deal, and The Last Addiction. Our listeners can learn more about Sharon by visiting http://www.sharonhersh.com/ and purchase her books on Amazon. This a phenomenal episode for anyone struggling in their marriage and we strongly recommend you check out Sharon's Book, The Last Addiction on Amazon.

On this week’s episode of the Undone Redone podcast, Marnie Ferree returns to talk about healing from betrayal trauma with Melody. Marnie is the founder of Bethesda Workshops, a program that specializes in providing a place of healing for those damaged by pornography and other forms of sexual addiction.  She and Melody discuss how women that have experienced betrayal can begin to rebuild their lives after their trust is shattered. Marnie then explains that we all need help in walking through our addictions and our wounds. Our listeners can get access to all of Marnie's resources at https://www.bethesdaworkshops.org/ Quotes from this episode: “Forgiveness is an intellectual decision not an emotional one. That means you make a conscious choice no matter how you feel. You may still be angry, yet you forgive. You may still be in pain, but you forgive. You may still be wearing the scars of the abuse, but you forgive.” - Marnie Ferree "Very often, it is the recognition of betrayal by a spouse that helps to illuminate a woman's story." - Marnie Ferree

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Melody chats with Dr. Sheri Keffer about the impact of betrayal trauma and the path forward to recovery. Dr. Sheri Keffer received her PhD in Marriage and Family Therapy and her Master of Arts Theology, both from Fuller Theological Seminary. She currently specializes in individual, couples and family therapy at her private practice in Newport Beach, California. She explains how the trauma of betrayal affects our minds, bodies, spirits, and sexuality. Dr. Keffer also provides women new tools they can utilize when dealing with emotional triggers and helps educate on the realities of sexual addiction. Finally, she shows women how they can begin practicing self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect themselves from abuse or manipulation, and discover freedom from the burden of shame and guilt. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Sheri Keffer by going to her website: https://drsherikeffer.com/. Quotes from this Interview: “A partner who is betrayed needs two things that are critical to heal: safety and truth. Until they have those two things, a betrayed partner cannot settle into their body.” - Sheri Keffer “The first step of recovery, whether you are staying with your partner or not, is recovery for yourself.” -Sheri Keffer Thanks for watching! http://www.undoneredone.com  Subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/undoneredone?sub_confirmation=1 Q&A with Mel & Tray, every Wednesday at 2 PM CST! https://undoneredone.com/ask Undone Redone on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/undoneredone Undone Redone on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/undoneredone Undone Redone on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/undoneredone  

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray chats with Wendell Moss, a therapist at The Allender Center, to share his story and to specifically discuss racial trauma. The conversation about racial injustice in America is currently dominating conversations and Wendell breaks down his own experiences with racial trauma and how he was able to work through and heal from those traumas. He also explains what we as a country can do to begin listening and engaging the conversation to help those struggling with racial injustice. Our listeners can learn more about Wendell on The Allender Center's website: https://theallendercenter.org/about/team/wendell-moss/. This episode is a great follow up to the conversation we had with the Castille family last week, so we highly encourage you to listen to that as well by going to https://youtu.be/1M69jfI_J2E.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone podcast, Tray and Melody welcome a long-awaited guest to the show, Marnie Ferree. Marnie is the founder of Bethesda Workshops, a program that specializes in helping those struggling with sexual brokenness and was the first of its kind to help female sex addicts in what was thought to be a "male only issue." Marnie shares her struggles with infidelity and sexual brokenness, how she has created workshops and resources to help other women, and why it is so important to approach sex addiction as a human issue rather than a purely male or female one. Her book, No Stones: Women Redeemed from Sexual Addiction, was one of the earliest books on female sex and love addicts and provides crucial information for women looking to escape the cycle of sex addiction. Our listeners can learn more about all the resources Marnie has available by visiting bethesdaworkshops.org/ and can check out her book at https://amzn.to/37mET39.

The conversation about racial injustice in America is raging strong right now and I personally want to do a better job of listening. In so doing, I had the privilege of sitting down to talk racism with former Alabama All-American and NFL standout Jeremiah Castille and his sons Simeon and Caleb, who both also played at the University of Alabama. Simeon was an All-SEC defensive back who also played in the NFL and Caleb played defensive back and left the Capstone with 2 national championship rings and currently is an actor living in Los Angeles. Jeremiah, Simeon, and Caleb graciously answered my questions as I sought to challenge my understanding of racial relations based on my own cultural upbringing. They helped me to understand that, no matter how hard I try, I will never fully understand what black people in America deal with…often on a daily basis. As Jeremiah eloquently points out in this conversation, at the end of the day, this is a heart issue and only Jesus can change the human heart. It is my prayer that my white evangelical friends will join me in becoming better listeners during this critical conversation. Here are some of my key takeaways from this conversation on racism with Jeremiah, Simeon, and Caleb: We need to see need, not color. As a white individual, I will never fully understand the experiences of my black friends and colleagues. We must be more intentional in having conversations with people who grew up with a different cultural understanding of the world. Diversity brings richness to our lives. The Church must lead the way in bringing about racial reconciliation in our country.

On this week’s episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with returning guest Leslie Vernick to discuss walking through betrayals, infidelity, and heartbreak in a relationship. Leslie gives our listeners some tips on how to recognize a toxic person or a toxic relationship and what you can do in those situations. She also explains how and when to set appropriate boundaries, when to confront or to forbear, and how to let go of all those negative messages that can be swirling around in our heads. You can learn more about Leslie’s resources at https://leslievernick.com/ and purchase a copy of her book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find your Voice and Reclaim your Hope, by going to https://amzn.to/306vCLg.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody chat with returning guest, Dr. Barbara Lowe, to discuss the COVID-19 pandemic from a mental health perspective. Dr. Lowe discusses ways to treat your physical, mental, and spiritual health during quarantine, and, even as life begins to return to normal, what we can do to address lingering issues in our personal lives. She also provides resources that help treat the issues that go deeper than the stress of the pandemic, like https://drbarbaralowe.com/findyourhappy/. You can learn more about Dr. Lowe and the services she offers at her website: https://drbarbaralowe.com/

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody chat with Elyse Fitzpatrick & Eric Schumacher to discuss their book Worthy: Celebrating the Value of Women, a timely resource that dives into the value, place, and calling of women in the church. But, as they explain in this interview, this isn't a book just for women, but also offers valuable insight for men, especially leaders, who want to grow in their understanding of God's unique design of women. Could we have missed something amid the many abuse scandals that are right now rocking the church? Might the headlines about abuse we’re reading today have their roots in a denigration of the value and worth of women? Elyse and Eric elaborate on all of this and more in this timely conversation. You can grab a copy of Worthy Here and can get in touch with Elyse and Eric Here. Our listeners can also register for Melody's Grieving Beyond Betrayal Here. Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/Worthy-Celebrating-Value-Elyse-Fitzpatrick/dp/0764234366 Book site: https://worthybook.org/ Melody’s Webinar Registration Page: https://event.webinarjam.com/channel/grieving-betrayal

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Russ Morgan & Joey Mure of Wealth Without Wall Street to discuss financial security during COVID-19. Joey and Russ share their expertise to our listeners to help them navigate the financial minefield that is the COVID-19 pandemic. They explain the things every person needs to be doing to keep their head above water in these unprecedented times. They also point to helpful resources and are offering our listeners a chance to join their free community at https://www.wealthwithoutwallstreet.com/community. To learn more about Joey and Russ, visit their website at wealthwithoutwallstreet.com Quotes: "Right now there are so many practical things you can be doing to manage your finances, and there are so many great resources out there you can use, especially on our website, to help you navigate that." "Our mentor had a great saying which was,5% of the people think, 10% of the people think they think, and 85% of people would rather die than think. You have to ask yourself 'what group do I want to be a part of?' These are moments you dive into the Word and think about it, pray on it, because that can be the key to help you free yourself from this prison you feel like you're stuck in."

COVID-19 has shut down the US economy and many are feeling the effects as unemployment applications hit record levels. On this week's show, Tray and Melody talk with Financial Coach Ericka Young to discuss how to handle financial uncertainty during this unprecedented pandemic. Ericka offers practical guidance to help navigate the current financial landscape as well as ideas on preparing for the future. She also encourages viewers to take the time to step back and ask the question "is my plan working?" and, if it isn't, offers help in creating a plan that will get them through to the other side of this crisis. You can learn more about Ericka and her financial resources on her website: tailormadebudgets.com/.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Therapist Bryce Landwehr to discuss how to parent a child that has been exposed to pornography. Bryce explains that especially since we all have more free time during the COVID-19 pandemic, its more important than ever to ensure that we have a proper way to talk to our children and parent them through that exposure. Bryce talks about why grace based parenting is key to helping our children navigate a place that often they know more about than we do. Our listeners can learn more about Bryce at http://www.wellspringchristian.com/Bryce_Landwehr.html and they can reach out to Bryce directly at blandwehr@wellspringchristian.com Quotes: "You are the first image of God your children see so you want to let them know that you love them no matter what. You also want to create a sense of normalcy to you kids that we are all created to be sexual beings, but there is a better way to learn about that then through pornography." "We need our children to know that sex is an appetite much like hunger and that if you keep feeding that appetite over and over and over, you will become very unhealthy and dependent on that certain type of 'food'."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray sits down with Army Ranger Jeff Struecker to discuss what it means to be a man. Jeff and Tray discuss how we should mend men who are suffering from brokenness and how to build boys into men. We often try to grow up being a man without ever having someone properly teach us what it means to truly be one. Jeff explains how we can properly realize our masculinity without having to "ruffle a manly pose for our timid hearts." This is an episode you don't want to miss! For more information on Jeff, his speaking engagements, and his books, visit https://jeffstruecker.com/. Quotes: "What men need to realize is The opposite side of fear is not courage. The opposite side of fear is faith." "Courage is the willingness to do the hard right thing when nobody else will. Perhaps some of the most courageous things that a man does are the daily things of doing that right thing when nobody else is watching."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Gary Thomas to talk specifically to ministry leaders who are overwhelmed in the midst of an unprecedented time with COVID-19. Gary explains how ministry leaders need to identify their strengths in the church and when to recognize that something is outside of "their lane" so that they can allow others to take control of that work. This is an episode everyone can benefit from, but is specifically target to those who are leading churches throughout this difficult time. For more information on Gary Thomas, visit his website: http://www.garythomas.com/. Quotes: "I think one of the most important jobs we have as ministers of God is to have a sensitivity to evil. Jesus tells us NOT to be naive." "As we minister to those in broken relationships, here's how I know an unfaithful spouse has repented. It's when you say to your wife 'I will not go back into that house until I know you will not be controlled anymore."

Get Your Questions Answered! Tray and Melody's journey has provided unique wisdom and insight in the areas of marriage, parenting, pornography addiction recovery, and betrayal trauma. Each Wednesday at 2 PM CST, you have the opportunity to have any specific questions you might have answered on Q&A with Mel & Tray, a new feature being offered by Undone Redone. No question is off-limits. Click the link below to register for this FREE event. Submit your question at ask@undoneredone.com.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with military spouse and minister Megan Brown. Megan works with the military community, specifically spouses, on how to connect into your community as a military spouse and increase community engagement with active duty members and veterans alike. Military life and the transitions it puts families through can bring challenges including marriage building, creating community, and finding a sense of purpose. Through empowering others to build their military life well, Megan works to help those facing challenges find a purpose and become a part of something bigger than themselves through Christ. Learn more about Megan on her website: www.meganbbrown.com & www.milspoco.com and on Facebook: @MegBrownWrites.   Quotes: "Even when I was running at a breakneck pace in the other direction, God stayed in fierce pursuit. He is a God who sees, who loves, and who SAVES." "We have to know how all of scripture fits together. It will not do us any good to snip and splice scripture. We have to know the overall narrative." "We have a God-given call to push the gospel forward into our families, our neighborhoods, and our cities. It is my greatest hope to see revival swelling on the horizon, a wave of hope crashing into our world."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with trafficking survivor Christa Lynn.  Christa tells Melody how she survived a life filled with neglect, addictions and trafficking, and how she is using that experience to help children, teens and young adults recover from the trauma of human trafficking. Christa Lynn works closely with One More Child, an organization that works to stand beside survivors of trafficking as they overcome vulnerabilities, obstacles and injustices to build dream-worthy lives. Our listeners can learn more about Christa and her work with One More Child at onemorechild.org Quotes: "We know that to break these generational cycles, that a community who prays together is going to be able to just walk this dark journey. It’s a war. You’re fighting to battle not just men and women who’ve been trafficked and exploited, but also the bitterness that Satan wants to use to have us continue in destruction." " I believe God uses prayer not just to transform us who’ve been exploited, but also to transform those who haven’t been exploited, and to help them be able to access the compassion that can only come from God."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with guests Tod Jacobs and Peter Lynn, authors of Not a Partnership, to discuss why we seem to keep getting marriage wrong and what we can do to make our marriages stronger. Tod and Peter present tools and strategies to not only sustain marriages, but to enrich them as well. They believe that as two people develop the mindset and practice of serving something greater than themselves in their marriages, a miraculous transformation occurs and the marriage is strengthened as a result. Our listeners can learn more about Tod and Peter at their website: https://www.notapartnership.com/.

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody host their first podcast from their new office. They talk about how God will often bring us back to the same crossroads in our lives, but with different results. Tray speaks to our listener's about how to walk these same crossroads without letting the shame narrative take over. He explains that the reason we can begin to find joy in the present is often because we remember where the Lord has taken us. This is a great episode for those feeling like they are walking the same path, but can experience a different outcome through God's grace.  Quotes: "If we try to bury and forget the painful past, we aren't able to see the beauty of our present in such a drastic contrast." "When we're in the middle of pain, it's so difficult to see ahead to the future. That's why having hopeful peace can provide such relief. We may not be able to see where God is taking us, but He will take us to a better and brighter future."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with Kara-Kae James to talk about the challenges and triumphs of motherhood, particularly with postpartum depression. Kara is an author of 6 books and is passionate about seeing women’s lives changed and impacted through the truth of God’s Word. Kara explains that she knows so many moms out there are struggling like her and in desperate need of a reminder that God loves them. She works to help women engage in meaningful conversations about difficult topics and push them to rethink their lives by looking closer at themselves, the Church, and the world. Our listeners can learn more about Kara at http://karakaejames.com/ and can check out her books at https://www.amazon.com/Kara-Kae-James/e/B07N6K35VL%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share. Quotes: “If we are telling ourselves that we are enough, then where does that leave room for Christ, the One who came to die because we were not enough?” “My being able to admit I don’t have it all together led to my actually being able to thrive as I allowed Christ to come in and fill all the gaps for me.” “Motherhood can be a battle, but God has already given us the armor we need. We just need to suit up.”

We all know that betrayal trauma is a pain unique to the men and women that have to face it. However, it is often so easy to focus on the end goal of where we are headed rather than the journey itself. Our guest on today's episode is Tanya McCaw, who sits down with Melody to share her journey through betrayal and reconciliation. She explains how she was married to a sex addict, what that betrayal looked like, and how she used the resources available to walk through the pain and brokenness that seemed to overwhelm her life. This is such an important story to hear, both for those currently experiencing betrayal trauma and those looking to help other women walk through that pain. Quotes: "The enemy loves to get in your head when you experience infidelity in a marriage. I kept asking myself 'well what if I were prettier? What if I had nicer legs or what if I kept the house cleaner?' and it works against you to keep you on that performance treadmill." "When you have a spouse that's addicted to pornography, often you are OVERworking because they are under working. You take on the role of BOTH mom and dad while you are still living with those feelings of 'I have to be better.' And from there you have to recognize that healing is going to be a process. It is going to take take for you to step down from that performance treadmill back to where God is calling you to be."

Our guest on today's show is Dr. Henry Cloud. Dr. Cloud is a New York Times bestselling author, and his books have sold over 10 million copies. He discusses the importance of making safe choices in relationships and setting appropriate boundaries, whether its friendships or romantic relationships. He explains how people can identify the traits that bring nurturing people into our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Tray and Melody are so excited to have Dr. Cloud on the Undone Redone Podcast and this is an episode you don't want to miss! Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Cloud's work at www.drcloud.com and www.boundaries.me . Quotes: “We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences often give us the pain that we need to become motivated enough to change.” “The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the strength of that relationship.” “People have to realize there is a big difference between hurt and harm. We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone else. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.”

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Ericka Young to discuss tackling debt and other financial hardships in marriage. Ericka and her husband Chris carried loads of debt that included student loans, car payments, and a mortgage. They eventually found themselves in over $100,000 in debt, but were able to pay everything off successfully after being taught by the master of finance himself, Dave Ramsey. Now over ten years later, she helps both people and businesses transform their finances, careers, families and, most importantly, their futures. She explains the importance of discussing your finances with your spouse, even if it seems difficult to find the time or energy to do so. This is an incredible episode for those looking to talk about financial hardships with their spouses. Our listeners can learn more about Ericka by visiting her website: https://www.tailormadebudgets.com/ or on Twitter https://twitter.com/budgetsbyericka. Quotes: "When budgeting its SO important to make sure you include everything in that budget. A lot of people just view their budget as for their bills, when in reality they don't add dining, groceries and other everyday expenses. Make sure you add EVERYTHING to your budget." "Use cash when you make purchases because that is a finite resource and you can see yourself spending it. It's so easy to swipe a credit card and not think of the balance, but when you use cash, you see just how quickly you can spend it in certain places."

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with author and banker Scott Shay. Shay is a Co-Founder and Chairman of Signature Bank and a longstanding Jewish community activist. He has started a Hebrew school, an adult educational program, and chaired several Jewish educational programs. Shay discusses his new book In Good Faith: Questioning Religion and Atheism, describes what motivated him to engage with the arguments of the New Atheists. He also explains that the temptation of idolatry did not disappear in the Old Testament but persists as part of human nature to this very day, and what we can do to work to counteract that temptation. Our listeners can learn more about Scott and find links to both of his books at https://www.scottshay.com/. Quotes: "We have a Jewish saying that states 'don't do unto other's what you wouldn't want done to you' and the rest is just commentary. That is so fundamental to being a believer." "The problem I try to discuss with idolizing reason is that reason can take you down a road to all of these awful places."

On this week’s episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Dr. Les Parrott to discuss strengthening your marriage. Dr. Parrott is a bestselling author, a professor of psychology at Northwest University, creator of the SYMBIS Assessment, and founder of the Parrott Institute for Healthy Relationships at Olivet Nazarene University. He and his wife Leslie are a husband-and-wife team who not only share the same name, but the same passion for helping others build healthy and stronger relationships. Dr. Parrott explains that a marriage can only be as strong as the two spouses in it and that often times we need to first work on strengthening ourselves before we can tackle issues in our marriages. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Parrott and his wife’s ministry at https://www.lesandleslie.com/. For those interested in taking the SYMBIS assessment, you can visit https://www.betterlove.com/. Finally those who would like to know more about Dr. Parrott’s book, Love Like That, can visit https://lovelikethatbook.com/. Quotes: “You have to realize that your marriage can only be as healthy as the least healthy person in it.” “Here’s the bottom line: When you open your heart, love changes your mind. Your mind can do an about-face when it receives that divine impulse from the heart. That’s why if you are just looking for a reasonable love, you will miss out on an extraordinary love.”

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Dr. Shannan Crawford to discuss post traumatic growth. Dr. Crawford is a licensed clinical psychologist, conference speaker, adjunct professor, and innovator-expert in Restoring Self-Cohesion. She explains the difficulty of overcoming severe trauma in our lives and the steps we can take to begin that recovery process. She shares her own stories of trauma with Tray and Melody and how God and His word can work to identify and eliminate internal blocks or triggers that hinder us from optimally thriving and fulfilling our life purpose. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Crawford's practice and speak engagements at www.drshannancrawford.com. Quotes: "Just as the body goes to the rescue of an injured limb, the soul aims to rescue the wounded part of the self." "The dreams you accomplish are less about what you do and more about the substance and character of who you are."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with award winning singer and songwriter, Charles Billingsley, to reminisce about their time at Samford University and discuss how sometimes the "perfect" image we strive for isn't the right one. Charles discusses his jump into music and how God really tested his strength and walk through his voice. Charles conveys the central message of his heart is to assist other believers in discovering a lifestyle of worship. He explains that every decision we make, every sin we commit is ultimately a worship issue, as a believer. Our listeners can learn more about tour dates, latest releases and Charles' speaking events on his website http://www.charlesbillingsley.com/. Quotes: “The greatest joy I have is that moment in a concert when you know people are truly engaging the Spirit of God and the Lord is moving.” "Everybody worships something or someone, every moment of every day. So, who or what you’re worshiping will determine the choices you make—financially, physically, everything." "I think the Lord often has to take things away from us in our lives to make us truly appreciate what we have been given. The old adage of you never know what you have until it's gone applies in your walk sometimes as well."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with Dr. Barbara Lowe to discuss turning extremely rough situations into positive change for Christ. Dr. Barbara Lowe is a practicing psychologist who specializes in helping wounded people recover and reclaim their destinies, take a deep and serious dive into discussions about where traumas begin, and what resources are available to help people recover and thrive. Our listeners can learn more about Dr. Lowe's story and her ministry by visiting https://drbarbaralowe.com/. Quotes: "The most important thing I learned in my walk with God is to remember that He is ALWAYS there for you. Even when it seems like the world has turned against you, Christ has got your back through it all!" "Rejection and hurt are often a beautiful growth opportunity for Christ disguised as pain." "It is ok to not be ok. God is always working behind the scenes to heal and promote you, despite places where others seek to hold you back."  

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with author and counselor Leslie Vernick. Leslie is the author of seven books, including the best selling, The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and her most recent book, The Emotionally Destructive Marriage. She speaks with Tray and Melody about the difference between a disappointing relationship and a destructive relationship, and what we as spouses can do when we find ourselves in either type. Our listeners can learn more about Leslie and her work by going to her website: https://leslievernick.com/ Quotes: "When you give another person the power to define you, then you also give them the power to control you." "In some marriages, trying harder does not engender a reciprocal response. It has the opposite effect. It feeds the fantasy that the sole purpose of your life is to serve your husband, make him happy, and meet his every need." "Biblically loving your husband doesn’t require you to prop him up in order to enable him to continue to hurt you."

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Rabbi Manis Friedman to discuss intimacy in marriage. Rabbi Friedman states that we all crave intimacy because It's essential to our emotional and spiritual health. Yet, he also explains that today's culture faces an intimacy crisis and often times, even when we're in a committed relationship, we still feel painfully alone. Our listeners can learn more about Rabbi Friedman at his website, https://itsgoodtoknow.org/ Quotes: "Intimacy flourishes in an atmosphere that is permeated with kindness, respect, and sanctity. True love grows within that atmosphere as well." "The mistake is that married couples don’t need increased physical pleasure or better physical pleasure. What we need is closeness. Even more than that, we need oneness. We want and need the joy of intimacy." "Marriage is about creating a life that embraces and nurtures that intimacy. Intimacy is a state of grace that arrives and then hides. So even if we have achieved intimacy, we must continue to maintain it. We must constantly seek it out, cultivate it, protect it, and nurture it."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Joel Fitzpatrick to discuss spiritual parenting between fathers and their children. Joel Fitzpatrick has served as an ordained minister in the Presbyterian Church in America with a focus on youth and family. He received his MDiv from Westminster Seminary California. Joel lives in Southern California with his wife of nineteen years and their two children. He is a sinner, a preacher, the author of Between us Guys, the coauthor of Mom, Dad . . . What’s Sex?, and contributed chapters to The Sinner and Saints Devotional: 60 days in the Psalms. Joel explains the balance between laughter and enjoyment and setting boundaries for our children so they can grow up in a Christ centered environment that isn't dependent on what others think. Our listeners can learn more about Joel on his website at https://www.joelfitzpatrick.co/ Quotes: "On of the most important things I have said to my son is 'Even in the face of your failure, I am proud to be your dad. I love you no matter how well or poorly you do.'" "When you show your love to your children as Christ loves us, it gives your kids a stable foundation to stand on in all things." "Being humble in front of your kids is vital. Be quick to forgiveness when your kids mess up. Shaming and disciplining your kids is almost paradoxical to them because they see you sinning while disciplining them for their sins."

On this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody sit down with Meteorologist Ashley Gann to discuss work life balance. She explains that it's easy to categorize ourselves based on one area of our lives and define ourselves only by that task or talent. She stresses that we can always find balance in our lives if we live it with intentionality. Ashley Gann is the Chief Meteorologist at CBS 42 in Birmingham, AL and is a believer, wife, and mother of 3. Our listeners can learn more about Ashley on her Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook pages, all of which are under the name @gannweather. Quotes: "Living with intentionality is not only vital for your life, but your kids lives as well. They see you living with intentionality and the success that can bring. It has a lasting, positive impact on their lives." "My mantra for life has become I like to gain people's trust on the sunny days so I can have their trust during the stormy ones."

Have you ever found yourself in a toxic relationship with others? As Christians, we often feel the guilt and responsibility of meeting the needs of unhealthy people in our lives. Whether a family member, spouse, coworker, or friend, toxic people frequently seek to frustrate our empathy in Christ Jesus. While you're seeking God's kingdom first, it seems like they're seeking to distract your focus and delay your work. Instead of attempting the impossible task of mollifying toxic people, it's time we dedicate our energy to the only worthwhile effort: completing the work God has given us by investing in reliable people. It's only when we learn to say no to bad patterns that we can say yes to the good work God has planned for us.  On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, bestselling author of Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas shares biblical examples of how Christ dealt with toxic people in his new book When to Walk Away, Finding Freedom From Toxic People. Here are just a few topics Thomas shares with Tray and Melody: How to learn the difference between difficult people and toxic people How to find refuge in God when you feel under attack How we can discern when to walk away from a toxic situation How we can keep a tender heart even in unhealthy relationships We encourage our listeners to learn more about Gary Thomas at his website http://www.garythomas.com/ and can pre-order his new book now on Amazon at https://www.amazon.com/When-Walk-Away-Finding-Freedom-ebook/dp/B07PR87KLL.  Quotes: "Jesus warns his followers away from spending too much time on a toxic person. He says 'don't throw your pearls to pigs or what is holy to dogs' and He isn't being disrespectful there, but He is recognizing we must know when to walk away." "We can't let others steal our joy or our mission. It's time to strengthen our defense, learn to set healthy boundaries, and focus on our God-given purpose." "Just like if you were to remove my spine from my body, even if I had 205 bones left, taking the fall out of scripture puts evil in a position to corrupt good, God-centered people and relationships."

Former Alabama and NFL cornerback Simeon Castille is our guest on this week's episode of the Undone Redone Podcast. Simeon shares his story of growing up with his All-American father, Jeremiah Castille, and the foundation of faith that his parents created for him. Simeon talks about "breakfast club", which was the summer training program that his father created in order to help he and his brother Tim reach their goals of playing at Alabama and in the NFL. Simeon also courageously shares his own journey from a performance paradigm to a grace paradigm and how he came to understand that Christ's love and forgiveness extends to everyone, including himself. Follow Simeon on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody discuss their trip to the Utah Coalition Against Pornography while on location and how a road sign at Valley of Fire National Park got them thinking about marriage. They discuss that like roads we travel, marriage is not always straightforward and easy by design. They tell us the importance of recognizing that marriage will never be perfect or even easy, and that there will always be struggles in a marriage. It's by accepting that truth that couples can begin to work through those problems and find lasting, positive change in their relationship.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Melody sits down with Author Nancy Hicks to discuss empowering women in God's Grace, even after a trauma in The Church. Nancy's mission is to raise up women around the globe by igniting and equipping them with the power and grace of Christ. They discuss her latest book, Meant to Live, which unpacks how Christians can live in the power and glory of the Gospel―the Good News of Jesus Christ―and celebrate God’s glory in themselves, and the Church. Our listeners can learn more about Nancy at her website https://www.nancyhickslive.com/ and preorder her book on Amazon https://www.amazon.com/Meant-Live-Living-Light-Good/dp/1642793280.

On this week's episode of The Undone Redone Podcast, Tray and Melody celebrate their 200th podcast with a very special guest, meteorologist James Spann. Tray and Melody talk about how James inspired them to start podcasting and how they have evolved over time through their podcasts. James discusses his passion for using one's talents to minister to Christ and how anyone can minister to others. He also discusses the importance of weather awareness and how he aims to mitigate loss of life from severe weather in Alabama. Our listeners can follow and contact James Spann on Twitter, https://twitter.com/spann, and on Instagram, https://www.instagram.com/spannwx/?hl=en.