Podcasts about your high stakes relationships

Welcome to This Is Not About Your Body! Today I'm sitting down with Jayson Gaddis, who is a relationship coach, keynote speaker, dad, founder of the Relationship School and co-host of the Relationships School podcast with his wife, Ellen Boeder, and author of the book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflicts in Your High Stakes Relationships". I'm excited to share our conversation and Jayson's thoughts on partnerships/relationships!Find more from Jayson on his website, social media, and podcast: https://relationshipschool.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis/ https://www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpage/ https://twitter.com/jaygaddis https://www.youtube.com/user/Jaysongaddis "Relationship School Podcast" on your favorite podcatcher - - - - - - My book, "Body Neutral: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Body Image Issues" is OUT NOW! Pick up a copy from your favorite retailer today! I've also released a new course which pairs nicely with the book which you can purchase from my site: The Body Neutrality Blueprint https://www.jessikneeland.com/product-page/BodyNeutralityBlueprint - - - - - - My e-book is out! Grab a copy of Sustainable Movement here: https://www.jessikneeland.com/product-page/sustainable-movement-a-body-neutral-guide-to-health-fitness Intro to the 4 Body Image Avatars: https://youtu.be/SsxQ9qO0-a4 Get my full Body Image Avatar Guide here: https://www.jessikneeland.com/product-page/the-avatar-guide Find more resources here: https://jessikneeland.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessikneeland/ Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/jessikneeland Buy Me A Coffee: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/dgrRFaBYO

When you drink something and start choking, people often say, “Oh it must've gone down the wrong pipe.” This episode begins by explaining what the wrong pipe is and why it's there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYsz2Od5jDQ A lot of health advice is just plain wrong. Myths abound when it comes to taking care of yourself. Here to explode some of those myths and offer some sound advice on your health is Dr. Karan Rajan. He is a surgeon who has millions of followers on social media where he dispenses solid, high quality health advice. He is also author of the book, This Book May Save Your Life: Everyday Health Hacks to Worry Less and Live Better (https://amzn.to/48fnVlh). Listen as he offers suggestions on maintaining your gut, your heart, your nose and ears and so much more. Here is a link to his YouTube channel. https://www.youtube.com/@DrKaran All of us frequently find ourselves in conflict with other people. You can't escape it but you can get better at dealing with the conflict. Joining me to offer some excellent advice on just how to do that is Jayson Gaddis He is one of the world's leading authorities on interpersonal conflict. For almost two decades, Jayson has helped individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. Jayson is author of the book Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships (https://amzn.to/3Uzll6k). Heating your home in the winter can be very expensive. One big reason is that a lot of your expensive heat leaks out. Listen as I reveal some of the places heat seeps out that you may not realize. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/special/lifestyle/home/where-heat-leaves-your-house/index.html PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! Indeed is offering SYSK listeners a $75 Sponsored Job Credit to get your jobs more visibility at https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING Go to https://uscellular.com/TryUS and download the USCellular TryUS app to get 30 days of FREE service! Keep you current phone, carrier & number while testing a new network. Try us out and make your switch with confidence! NerdWallet lets you compare top travel credit cards side-by-side to maximize your spending! Compare and find smarter credit cards, savings accounts, and more today at https://NerdWallet.com TurboTax Experts make all your moves count — filing with 100% accuracy and getting your max refund, guaranteed! See guarantee details at https://TurboTax.com/Guarantees Shop at https://Dell.com/deals now, to get great deals on leading-edge technology to match your forward-thinking spirit, with free shipping on everything! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today's episode is called Love Sparks. Can you think of those moments in time involving special relationships that were incredibly special? Moments you shared with that certain someone? Today, I'm talking about the topic of love and that bond between you and a special partner. So, as I think about love, I think about the many different people I've interviewed on the show who are Relationship Coaches or relationship experts. I jotted down a few of their names and I'm looking at ten people who were terrific guests on this topic. You can search using the search bar on my website and type in the word ‘relationship'. Listen & Subscribe on: iTunes / Stitcher / Podbean / Overcast / Spotify Contact Info Website: www.MindfulnessMode.com Those Eyes Have you ever just stopped, paused, and with as much love, thoughtfulness, and compassion as you can have in your heart, just looked into your partner's eyes? And I think it's really important to do that, We live life day after day, and do you stop to think of that passion and your compassion? Do you let it flow from your heart and from your being into theirs? That's something you can gain by practicing mindfulness. What Does Your Partner Love? Sometimes I think we forget to think about what does he or she enjoy the most in life? What does your partner grab onto that makes them just full and satisfied? What gives them complete joy and bliss? Sometimes, we confuse it because we understand what gives us joy and bliss. And we may assume that the other person is that same way and enjoys those same things. I know I've been guilty of that. Be Vulnerable Although it is not always easy, open up and be vulnerable with that special person. The more you can open up, be vulnerable, and be willing to share, the closer you can become. And, of course, we all know that we have to be careful and smart. Our ego is trying to protect us. We have to allow our brain to help us know when to hold back and when it's okay to let go and be vulnerable. Sometimes, we must be willing to take those chances our brain tells us not to take. So step out and try to let go a little bit. The Sparkles This takes me back to my wife when we were going out. We were dating and we were walking along the street. it was our second or third date, and the stars were twinkling. It was this perfect evening. And the ambiance was phenomenal. But I remember the stars, and it felt like they were twinkling and sparkling. I felt like they were speaking to me. How could life be any better than this? When we were together that night with the sparkly stars there were fireworks. It was so special. And now it's almost Valentine's Day. Suggested Resources Book: Buddha's Bedroom – The Mindful Loving Path to Sexual Passion and Lifelong Intimacy Book: The 5 love languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts by Gary Chapman Book: Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships by Jason Gaddis Book: Kaizen for Couples: Smart Steps to Save, Sustain & Strengthen Your Relationship by Dr. Rhoberta Shaler App: Insight Timer Related Episodes Improve Your Sex Life With Meditation; Dr. Cheryl Fraser The Relationship School with Jayson Gaddis Relationship Expert Erik Newton Special Offer Are you experiencing anxiety & stress? I'm Bruce Langford, a practicing coach and hypnotist helping fast-track people like you to shed their inner bully and confidently move forward. Book a Free Coaching Session to get you on the road to a more satisfying life, feeling grounded and focused. Email me at bruce@mindfulnessmode.com with ‘Coaching Session' in the subject line. We'll set up a call to discuss how you can move forward to a better life.

"How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships"

Jayson Gaddis is an executive coach, author, podcaster, speaker, a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection, and is the founder & CEO of The Relationship School. Today, he joins Larry to talk about his new book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships", and discusses the importance of conflict resolution in relationships. Conflict resolution is vital for successful long-term relationships. Whether it's a family, a business partnership, or a team, we have to learn how to work through conflict in order to maintain a healthy relationship. When Jayson talks about “getting to zero,” he means that it's our baseline for feeling good and connected. When there's no conflict or unresolved issues, we're at zero. But when conflict arises, our number goes up to one through ten, with ten being the worst. We can be triggered and activated, enraged, or totally shut down. Although Jayson doesn't like conflict, he has a passion for conflict resolution. He's motivated by the bad feeling he gets when he's at odds with someone. He wants to figure out a way to help the average person because conflict resolution isn't something we're taught in school or college. It's a vital life skill that everyone should learn. It's important to remember that conflict isn't always a bad thing. It can be a way to deepen our connection with someone. When we work through a conflict and get to the other side, we have a better understanding of each other and a stronger relationship. thedadedge.com/417 www.relationshipschool.com thedadedge.com/alliance 1stphorm.com/dadedge      

EPISODE #66 - We're continuing our February focus on building and maintaining authentic relationships with this podcast rewind from last year with the relationship coach Jayson Gaddis. We've long known about Jayson and the amazing work he does at The Relationship School and we couldn't wait to have him come on the podcast. We dove into Jayson's journey to becoming a relationship expert (a title that he rejects, but we're giving it him anyway!), how his relationships with his partner and kids have blossomed because of his work, how conflict in any relationship is inevitable, and how repair and growth are always possible. We also get some amazing tools and strategies from his new book Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. We talk about practices that can help anyone repair relationships and achieve deep connection amidst any conflict. If you have a high-stakes relationship in your life, whether it's your marriage, your kids, at work, or a friendship, then you'll absolutely want to tune in.Yes Collective is co-hosted by Justin Wilford, PhD and Jenny Walters, LMFT.Justin Wilford, PhD, is a co-founder of Yes Collective, an educator, a writer, and an emotional health coach. He earned doctorates from UCLA (cultural geography) and UC Irvine (public health), and specializes in translating complex, scientific ideas into actionable programs for mental and emotional health. Jenny Walters, LMFT, is a licensed marriage family therapist and senior expert contributor to the Yes Collective. She is a graduate of the Pacifica Graduate Institute and is the founder and director of Highland Park Holistic Psychotherapy in Los Angeles, California.

Read the full transcript here. What are the main categories of interpersonal relationship problems? What's really going on when most people say they have a "communication" problem? What are the criteria for being a good listener? What's the "right" amount of conflict to have in a healthy relationship? How can we best express our wants and needs? What sorts of requests are reasonable (or not) to make of our relationship partners? People can get along just fine when they differ on little things, like the best flavor of ice cream; but how can people maintain relationships when they have deep differences in their core values?Jayson Gaddis is an author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn't get in school: "How To Do Relationships." Jayson leads one of the most in-depth and comprehensive relationship educational programs and trains relationship coaches all over the world. Jayson is the host of The Relationship School Podcast, the founder of The Relationship School, and the author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. Learn more about Jayson and his work via these links:Jayson:jaysongaddis.comFacebookInstagramThe Relationship School:relationshipschool.comFacebookInstagramFurther reading:"Interested in improving your relationships? Try Nonviolent Communication" by ClearerThinking.orgGetting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis [Read more]

Read the full transcriptWhat are the main categories of interpersonal relationship problems? What's really going on when most people say they have a "communication" problem? What are the criteria for being a good listener? What's the "right" amount of conflict to have in a healthy relationship? How can we best express our wants and needs? What sorts of requests are reasonable (or not) to make of our relationship partners? People can get along just fine when they differ on little things, like the best flavor of ice cream; but how can people maintain relationships when they have deep differences in their core values?Jayson Gaddis is an author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn't get in school: "How To Do Relationships." Jayson leads one of the most in-depth and comprehensive relationship educational programs and trains relationship coaches all over the world. Jayson is the host of The Relationship School Podcast, the founder of The Relationship School, and the author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. Learn more about Jayson and his work via these links:Jayson:jaysongaddis.comFacebookInstagramThe Relationship School:relationshipschool.comFacebookInstagramFurther reading:"Interested in improving your relationships? Try Nonviolent Communication" by ClearerThinking.orgGetting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis

What are the main categories of interpersonal relationship problems? What's really going on when most people say they have a "communication" problem? What are the criteria for being a good listener? What's the "right" amount of conflict to have in a healthy relationship? How can we best express our wants and needs? What sorts of requests are reasonable (or not) to make of our relationship partners? People can get along just fine when they differ on little things, like the best flavor of ice cream; but how can people maintain relationships when they have deep differences in their core values?Jayson Gaddis is an author, relationship expert, and coach who teaches people the one class they didn't get in school: "How To Do Relationships." Jayson leads one of the most in-depth and comprehensive relationship educational programs and trains relationship coaches all over the world. Jayson is the host of The Relationship School Podcast, the founder of The Relationship School, and the author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. Learn more about Jayson and his work via these links:Jayson:jaysongaddis.comFacebookInstagramThe Relationship School:relationshipschool.comFacebookInstagramFurther reading:"Interested in improving your relationships? Try Nonviolent Communication" by ClearerThinking.orgGetting to Zero by Jayson Gaddis

Dr. Solomon is joined by Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School and the book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships." They discuss Jayson's approach to conflict-repair, which focuses on calming the nervous system and bringing both partners to their baseline, where the potential for positive change is highest. Jayson and Dr. Solomon answer a great listener question as well about broaching difficult topics in the context of an intimate partnership.The Art of Living Retreat with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:https://artoflivingretreatcenter.org/event/faculty/alexandra-solomon/loving-bravely/The Family Institute at Northwestern University:https://www.family-institute.org/Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships by Jayson Gaddis:https://bookshop.org/books/getting-to-zero-how-to-work-through-conflict-in-your-high-stakes-relationships/9780306924811The Relationship School:https://relationshipschool.com/Subscribe to Dr. Solomon's Newsletter:https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/Take Dr. Solomon's E-Course, Intimate Relationships 101 (use code LOVEPOD for 10% off at checkout):https://courses.dralexandrasolomon.com/intimate-relationships-101Submit your question to Dr. Solomon:https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274 See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

EPISODE #30 - We've known for quite some time about Jayson and the amazing work he does at The Relationship School and we couldn't wait to have him come on the podcast and help us kick off relationship month here at Yes Collective. We dove into Jayson's journey to becoming a relationship expert (a title that he rejects, but we're giving it him anyway!), how his relationships with his partner and kids have blossomed because of his work, how conflict in any relationship is inevitable, and how repair and growth are always possible. We also get some amazing tools and strategies from his new book Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. We talk about practices that can help anyone repair relationships and achieve deep connection amidst any conflict. If you have a high-stakes relationship in your life, whether it's your marriage, your kids, at work, or a friendship, then you'll absolutely want to tune in. So without further ado, here's our conversation with the wise and amazing Jayson Gaddis.

#292. Follow Dominick on Instagram: @DominickQ Join the Great Man Mastermind: https://www.dominickq.com/masterminds/the-digital-mastermind Join the Facebook Group for Men: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheGreatManWithin __________________________ In episode #222, we interviewed Jayson Gaddis, author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. He said the #1 bullshit fantasy that men believe which sabotages our relationships…is that relationships should be easy. I certainly used to believe that myth. And I can understand why we'd want it to be that way. You bust your ass at work, some of you bust your asses to be a good Dad…you're exhausted…shouldn't you be able to just relax when it comes to your relationship? Sorry, bro, it just doesn't work that way. Anything worth having, requires work to have it. And that includes earning the trust of your woman. Fortunately today, Bryan and I have honed in on and simplified 5 ways to build trust and credibility with your woman. It's important to note that these 5 ways have been sourced directly from the women in my Instagram community based on a half dozen polls I've run over the last 3 months. Said another way, these aren't Dominick's beliefs…these are the beliefs of a diverse group of women who are consistently calling for the same few things from their man. The 5 Ways to Build Trust and Credibility: Have a vision for your relationship Take her deeper – emotionally, sexually, spiritually – than she can go on her own Know how to restore integrity when you fall out of it If you need space during conflict…take it…and make sure you come back Be willing to trust her intuition, even if it conflicts with your logic

In time for Valentine's Day, today's conversation is aimed to help us all have more fulfilling, connected relationships– by turning towards conflict (rather than running in the other direction!). Plus, today I'm welcoming our first male guest (during the interview I share why I'm shifting towards having mixed genders on the podcast from now on). Jayson Gaddis, a fellow Boulderite whom I've known for many years, is an author and relationship export and coach. He's joining us to speak about his new book, “Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships.” We talk about the one thing that has been helping him the most throughout the pandemic, ways to navigate a recent fall-out I had with a friend recently, what the price tag of avoiding conflict is, a few essential skills you can start incorporating right away, and more. May our conversation be of benefit! Jayson's website: www.jaysongaddis.com Jayson on Instagram: www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis Jason on Facebook: www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpage Women's House of Wisdom & the Wisdom Circle: www.WomensHouseofWisdom.com Annual Women's Insight Retreat in France: www.WomensInsightRetreat.com Becoming Whole in 2022 (Free Workshop): www.BeconingWholeIFS.com Sara's website: www.SaraAvantStover.com Sara on Instagram: www.Instagram.com/SaraAvantStover Sara on Facebook: www.Facebook.com/SaraAvantStoverAuthor Join Sara's newsletter: www.SaraAvantStover.com/#subscribe

Jayson Gaddis is a global leader in relationship education. He is the founder of The Relationship School and the author of the new book Getting To Zero - How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. He is also an outdoor enthusiast and podcaster. He lives in Boulder Colorado with his wife and two children. In this episode, we talk about his book, it's lessons and how they have landed in me as I've read it. He illuminates some sticky areas I had in my thinking, some old patterns that were running. We also spend some time encouraging people to do this work, it is worth it. This episode is amazing and helpful, I hope that it helps you and your relationships. SUPPORT THIS SHOW ON PATREON - https://www.patreon.com/ariintheair PHILOSOPHICAL COACHING - https://www.ariintheair.com/coaching/ Jayson's Website - https://www.jaysongaddis.com

Woah. I never learned what I learned today in all my 20 yrs of study. Jason and I concurred on many items and issues regarding the importance of learning to feel. That conflict is good for development, part of life, that it's essential to learn how to better communicate AND that there is no perfect conflict free relationship out there. We agree that it's important to resolve conflict as quickly as possible WHILE honoring each other's 'animal'. We agreed with what he calls a 'Stand for 3' for self, other and the relationship. We agree that we keep repairing the relationship until we're back to 'zero'... where we feel good and are connected again. Yet HERE is where he blew my mind (oh, in addition to his epic spoken word at the end of the podcast xox)... when two people are triggered he said we can actually resolve it faster when in the presence of each other... when keeping eye contact (not freaky non stop, but in general), by breathing , even by moving closer (YIKES!) and by owning it. Here's my part. I'm being a jerk. I can see it shut you down. I'm sorry..... this makes his wife soften and they return to 'zero' much faster. Whoa. I watched my parents for decades LEAVE and not return for the whole month at the lake with us in tow. My nervous system is freaked at his suggestion YET I also never stop growing and I'm willing to be wrong, be delighted, be open and evolve. So I shall keep you posted people! In the mean time listen up and grab his book, Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. Love you madly, Allana xoxo --------------------------------- p.s. Take our FREE Assessment. Our Intimacy Blindspot Assessment is a quick, simple yet effective assessment so you can discover how to have the sexual freedom, healthy communication, and deep connection you deserve - https://allanapratt.com/quiz  Gentlemen - End the Fear of Rejection. Enjoy your "How To Be A Noble Badass" Complementary Training at www.GetHerToSayYes.com Ladies - Be irresistible. Feel sacred. Attract him now. Enjoy your "Vulnerability is the New Sexy" Complementary Training at http://allanapratt.com/vulnerability Featuring music by: 4 Chambers - written by Aeone / BMI Published by Angleterre Music /BMI

Don't lie, you know you avoid conflict. Conflicts in our closest relationships are scary because so much is at stake—if the conflict doesn't end well, we could lose our marriage, our family, or our job. Most common guidance on conflict resolution focuses on resolving the conflict while overlooking the dynamic of the relationship that created it. But that common guidance doesn't work, because that old cliché, it's not you; it's me, well it's actually true. In this episode we talk with Jayson Gaddis. He is a global leader on interpersonal conflict, a popular podcaster, and founder of The Relationship School, an organization dedicated to helping individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. Gaddis shares the street-level relationship skills that are not taught in school and he demonstrates exactly how we can get to zero—which means we have successfully worked through our conflict and have nothing in the way of a good connection. His book GETTING TO ZERO: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships, explores how looking inside yourself opens the door to see why conflict emerged in the first place, along with how to take responsibility for your role in the conflict and even grow through it. Gaddis also offers tools to calm yourself and the other person when in conflict, explains how to listen better and how to speak better, and shares tips for if you get stuck or people won't meet you halfway.

Jayson Gaddis is a favorite guest on Beyond Risk and Back because of his work in relationships. Founder of the Relationship School in boulder colorado, Jayson is also the author of the newly released "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships".   Chances are most of us deal with conflict on a daily basis with friends, family members, lovers, partners, and even co-workers, and when unresolved it can affect every single aspect of our lives, from self-confidence to physical and mental health. Getting to Zero is a dynamic, user-friendly, practical conflict resolution method aimed at helping readers work through conflict with those they care about as quickly as possible. When you know how to work through conflict in your high-stakes relationships, every other area of your life improves.

When your partner triggers you, how do you respond? Do you have boundless patients and flawless boundaries? Or do you struggle to know how to get your needs met while also ensuring that your partner feels respected, cherished, and seen? Jayson Gaddis, author of Getting to Zero, and I get real in this conversation that includes how to "out" ourselves with vulnerability skillfully, and how that can help with repair (i.e. conflict resolution). We also touch on the deal with addressing trauma patterns with plant medicines like MDMA. This episode will spark some ideas about how you show up in relationships in your own life, whether sexual or not. Practicing repair is just as valuable in dating and committed relationships as it is with friends, colleagues, and family members, and it's worth it to learn how to become more masterful at it.Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships: https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/

A world leader in love, conflict resolution and interpersonal relationships, relationship expert and coach Jayson Gaddis is also the author of Getting To Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships and the podcast host of The Relationship School. He joins Chelsea 17 minutes in to talk about getting closer through conflict, softening our internal critic by finding its stories interesting rather than horrible, the vulnerability of being the learner and the shame of being a man who is scared, the two shitty choices that people frame conflict as and the choice to pursue instead, how the gap between our strategic self and true self creates a core inner conflict, what it means to be a warrior, and why parenting is one of the most confronting experiences in our lives. To connect with Jayson, visit his:Website: www.jaysongaddis.com https://www.jaysongaddis.com/Book: https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Zero-Conflict-High-Stakes-Relationships Podcast: The Relationship School Podcast Coaching: https://relationshipschool.com/myrelationshipcoach The Relationship School: https://relationshipschool.comBlog: https://www.jaysongaddis.com/blogInstagram: www.instagram.com/jaysongaddis Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jaysongaddisfanpageTwitter: https://twitter.com/jaygaddisYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/JaysongaddisWork with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea's website: www.breakupward.comInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakEmail: Chelsea@breakupward.com

Marni welcomes relationship expert Jayson Gaddis into the Den to discuss lessons gleaned from his latest book, Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. In addition to being an author and coach who teaches people how to do relationships, Jayson is also the host of the long-running The Relationship School Podcast.    Key takeaways from this episode:  What is conflict in a relationship Tips for working through conflict in a relationship Becoming a relational leader Creating a baseline of where feels good to both partners Avoiding inner conflict   Identifying and Resolving Conflicts in Relationships [2:26] Jayson defines conflict as a rupture, disconnection, or an unresolved issue between two people. Conflict can be voiced or the stuff we are not saying. We are all challenging when it comes to interpersonal dynamics. especially if we live together.  Silence is one of the worst conflicts. It can be extremely brutal for some. Those most susceptible to silence or a lack of response can make stuff up in their mind to fill the space — especially with those who are triggered by abandonment or rejection.  Jayson adds that the most successful relationships he has witnessed are those where both partners are willing to embrace conflict and get better at it over time.    Getting to Zero [11:01] Many people do not know how to work through conflict. They may be scared to lose the other person and lean into manipulation or childish behavior. Jayson says, it can make us feel vulnerable to put ourselves out there and humans are naturally sensitive to rejection.  The right person wants to create a connection and get to zero. What is zero? In his book, Jayson describes zero as a happy place where both partners feel good and connected. A baseline. We want to have a baseline that feels safe, secure, and good.  Conflict can rupture the baseline. Returning to baseline (zero) as a couple is the goal. One person can't do it alone. It takes two.   Become a Relational Leader in a High-stakes Relationship  [16:32] We often get hurt and angry during a conflict but someone has to be the first to initiate repair and interconnection. A leader has to realize what is good for the relationship and do the right thing.    Relationship Tip — When you are in a conflict or snag, decide how you can get zero as a team. You want to have multiple ways to get back to zero.  One way is to stay in the same room and look each other in the eyes. Jayson says, when we are not looking our partner in the eye we go into memory and all the negative memories can bubble up.  When dealing with conflict in a relationship, maintain eye contact. See the person, not the story. People want relational space to be fair. And, fair is taking responsibility for your 50% of the relationship. Fair means both partners are invested in finding the solution to conflict.   Relationship Tip — Consider the three entities in your relationship. You, your partner, and your relationship. Each needs to be nurtured and understood. Fighting and conflict are what lead us to deeper understandings of ourselves and each other. Anytime you avoid outer conflict you are creating inner conflict because you are withholding your truth. You betray yourself to keep the connection.   Relationship Tool — LUFU: Listen Until they Feel Understood If the security of a relationship is threatened by the behavior of one, move on because the relationship is not safe for both people.   Make a Connection: Visit Our Website Join Our Dating Den Facebook Community Here! Learn how to attract your perfect equal...watch our latest training here! Interested in working with us? Book a Breakthrough session at DWDVIP Get a Free Coaching Session with Marni on Our Podcast - Sign up Here to Be a Guest On Our Show Download a Complimentary Copy of our Book - How to Find a Quality Guy Without Going on 200 Dates Getting to Zero Book Jayson Gaddis

Today I'm interviewing my super smart friend Jayson Gaddis who just released a brand new book called Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships. If you are a conflict avoider, you sometimes passive-aggressively communicate your displeasure rather than having a conversation about it, or you just don't know how to repair your relationship after there has been a blowup or rupture, this episode is for you. Read more about today's episode at terricole.com/344

When you can't be yourself in your relationship and avoid the tough conversations that you might need to have, it erodes your relationship AND your sense of self. Today we're going to focus on how to lean into conflict in ways most likely to lead to deeper connection with others as well as inner alignment within yourself. Our guest is Jayson Gaddis, and his new book "Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High Stakes Relationships" is a masterpiece to level up your conflict-resolution skills. If you're curious to hear our first episode together, check out Episode 129 - Unlocking the Secrets of the Smart Couple. And as always, I'm looking forward to your thoughts on this episode and what revelations and questions it creates for you. Please join us in the Relationship Alive Community on Facebook to chat about it! Sponsors: Want something new to entertain you? Acorn TV is a commercial-free streaming service that's rooted in British television. It's home to sophisticated and artful storytelling with top-rated mysteries, dramas that pull you in, heart-felt comedies and so much more. So - Escape to Britain and beyond without leaving your seat. Try Acorn TV free for 30 days, by going to acorn.tv and using the promo code “alive” (lowercase) at checkout. Find a quality therapist, online, to support you and work on the places where you're stuck. For 10% off your first month, visit Betterhelp.com/ALIVE to fill out the quick questionnaire and get paired with a therapist who's right for you. Resources: Find out more about Jayson Gaddis's new book, Getting to Zero. Visit The Relationship School website for more information about Jayson, his podcast, and the courses and trainings that he offers. FREE Relationship Communication Secrets Guide - perfect help for handling conflict and shifting the codependent patterns in your relationship Or...check out the Secrets of Relationship Communication complete course! Guide to Understanding Your Needs (and Your Partner's Needs) in Your Relationship (ALSO FREE) Visit www.neilsattin.com/zero to download the transcript, or text “PASSION” to 33444 and follow the instructions to download the transcript to this episode with Jayson Gaddis. Amazing intro/outro music graciously provided courtesy of: The Railsplitters - Check them Out Transcript: Neil Sattin: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Relationship Alive. This is your host, Neil Sattin. When it comes to the relationships in our lives that matter the most, I want you to sit there and think for a moment about whether or not you're willing to really get into it with those people. Are you willing to have conflict when you don't see eye to eye, when you have a disagreement, when you have a values conflict, when you're not sure who should be doing the dishes and who should be balancing a checkbook, whatever it is, are you actually willing to go toe to toe as equals with the other people in your life? And if so, how well does it go? And if not, why do you avoid it? These are important questions to be asking because the quality of our relationships is often not only determined by the quality of our connection with those people, but it's also determined by our ability to come back from challenging moments, the resilience of a relationship. Neil Sattin: And so for today's episode, I wanted to focus on that very thing. How do you work through conflict and create resilience, not only in yourself, not only fostering it in the other important people in your life, but how do you create a resilient relationship where you are able to be true to who you are, and where the person or people that you're in relationship with are also free to be true to who they are. And where somehow you manage to get through all of that, better for it, instead of in tatters because of your fights and inability to resolve them. So in order to have today's conversation, I wanted to feature Jayson Gaddis, who is the founder of The Relationship School, a colleague and friend of mine. He also does The Relationship School Podcast, and he is the author of this gem of a book called; Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. If you're a long-time listener, you know that I read a lot of books for this show, and this book is a game changer. It is like you will be doing yourself a huge favor by getting this book, reading through it, working through the exercises, and... Neil Sattin: I don't often truly feel that way, like sometimes, when we're talking about a book here on the show, I'll go through it and I feel like actually, I can kind of mine what's important for you, this is one that I want you to get and go through, it's that important. And when you do, let me know what you think. Let's dive in to chatting with Jayson Gaddis about his new book, Getting to Zero and How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. Jayson, it's such a treat to have you back here on Relationship Alive. Jayson Gaddis: Thanks Neil. So good to be chatting with you again and psyched to dive in. Neil Sattin: Great. Great. So let's get started by talking about why we tend to avoid conflict, and I just want to say when I was reading Getting to Zero, this book was very triggering for me like as I was reading it through, I was like every page I was dealing with my own demons percolating up, because the very first thing that you ask us as readers to do is to think about a conflict that we've had with someone who's important in our lives. And so it's helpful to do that, of course, to put all the exercises and everything that you write into contacts, that will be really helpful, but it was really challenging and I got in touch with how hard it is to actually face in to the fire. So could we start by talking a little bit about kind of why people avoid conflict and why you might want to make a different choice. Jayson Gaddis: Yeah, for sure. So I'll talk about two main reasons, and I'm sure you have many, and I'd love to hear those, but one is just in our biology, and it's the fact that we're social mammals and social mammals like to belong and we like to feel close to other people, and when we don't, it feels threatening and scary and shameful, and painful. And so conflict puts us up against that pain where it's like, "Ooh, if this doesn't go well, I might get kicked out of the group, I might not be included anymore or invited, this person might break up with me, I might break up with them." And that's uncomfortable, and social mammals don't like to be alone, and we don't do well on our own for long, long, long periods of time. So that's kind of in our DNA. And then there's the more psychological story about why we avoid conflict, and that's partly due to, it hasn't gone that well in our history, and that circles back to our family of origin, the neighborhood we grew up in, the friends we had or didn't have, the church we grew up in, sports teams we were on, or dance recitals we played, and all the negative experiences socially and relationally often don't get dealt with very well. Jayson Gaddis: And then they compound over time, and then we enter into an adult relationship, and we've got a lot of negative memory around conflict and negative associations, and so we tend to do what we've always done, and that's usually moving away from conflict, which is avoiding or we might move toward it thinking that fighting harder and louder and getting bigger is the solution for some reason. So I think those are the two probably biggest reasons we avoid conflict. Neil Sattin: Yeah, and conflict is uncomfortable. So you have to be in a space where you're willing to not only embrace that discomfort, but also, I think face your own discomfort with being uncomfortable, you have to look at why you would rather just check out and watch Netflix or pretend that something didn't happen or settle for whatever the situation is versus, Oh, it's actually really challenging to me to feel these feelings and to not know if there's going to be a positive outcome on the other side. Jayson Gaddis: Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I like what you said there about just discomfort. It kind of boils down to that really, is a lot of us don't like feeling uncomfortable feelings, both emotionally and on a sensory level in our body, when we face off with another person or we have a trigger with a person, whether they're silent with us or aggressive with us. It's just so uncomfortable and people are like, Oh, you must really like conflict. I'm like, No, I do not like conflict. Let's be clear. Just like the next person, I just happen to have some tools and some ways through it that I've learned over the years... Interested in reading the transcript for the rest of this episode with Jayson Gaddis?  Click here to download the full transcript of this episode!

Do you find it tough getting back to a good place after conflict in a relationship—the place where you feel connected and content? It's easy to get stuck in a cycle of conflict, but the good news is that you can master resolution skills in your important relationship(s). You can learn to get back to that healthy place. It's something we all have to work on—in fact, when I wrote my book, Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships, I wrote it for myself. But now I'm sharing it with the world. For a sneak peek into some of the tools I cover in the book, check out this week's podcast: How to Get Back to a Good Place part 1. And don't forget you can pre-order the book (for a little longer) to get in on the extras!    Useful Links: rs.com/training gettingtozerobook.com/pre-order  

Since it's a huge part of relationships, I talk quite a bit about conflict and how to work through it. In fact, my new book, Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships, will be releasing in a few short days! So in this week's podcast episode, Ellen and I talk more about the book and how it came about, plus some of our own conflict challenges and how we've dealt with them. Check out the episode below—and don't forget you can pre-order the book now so you get it delivered on release day (October 5). Useful Links: rs.com/training gettingtozerobook.com/pre-order

Zach and Laura interview Jayson Gaddis, founder of The Relationship School and author of Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships. The conversation provides some new frameworks to think about the way you approach conflict in your relationship. 

Getting to Zero: How to Work Through Conflict in Your High-Stakes Relationships by Jayson Gaddis The counselor, teacher, and founder of The Relationship School reveals the origins of conflict styles, and how to stop avoiding and resolve conflict in relationships with loved ones. Conflicts in our closest relationships are scary because so much is at stake. If the conflict doesn't go well, we could lose our marriage, our family or our job, all connected to our security and survival. So we do just about anything not to lose those relationships, including avoid conflict, betraying ourselves or becoming dishonest. Unresolved conflict affects every single aspect of our lives, from self-confidence to physical and mental health. Jayson Gaddis is a personal trainer for relationships and one of the world's leading authorities on interpersonal conflict. For almost two decades, Gaddis has helped individuals, couples, and teams get to the bottom of their deepest conflicts. He helps people see the wisdom in conflict and how to get to zero—which means we have successfully worked through our conflict and have nothing in the way of a good connection. In Getting to Zero, Gaddis shows the reader how to stop running away from uncomfortable conversations and instead learn how to work through them. Through funny personal stories, uncomfortable examples, and effective tools and skills, he shows the reader how to move from disconnection to connection, acceptance, and understanding. This method upgrades the old tired and static conflict resolution approaches and offers a fresh, street-level, user-friendly road map on exactly how to work through conflict with the people you care most about.