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Send us a textRHOA -Reset the Trip, Not the DramaRHOA Season 16, Episode 13 – “Chapter 1: Reset”Chapter 1: Reset, the ladies prepare for their Grenada trip, but the emotional baggage is heavier than the luggage. Shamea organizes the trip and gets support (and some side-eyes) from friends—including donations from Kelli, Cynthia, Drew, and Porsha—while Britt shows up with just toilet paper. Tensions from past events, like the Bare & Naked party, still linger.Meanwhile, Porsha and Drew attempt to clear the air at a tense lunch, where accusations, denials, and shady comments fly. Things don't end well, and Porsha walks out.Kelli deals with personal heartbreak over co-parenting struggles, while Uncle Lamont steps in to help. At the airport, the group is split into two cars, setting the stage for group dynamics in Grenada.Once there, room pairings are decided through a game. Conversations about past social media posts, dating rumors, and loyalty issues reignite old drama. The dinner table becomes a battleground of truths, shade, and fragile peace offerings—especially between Drew and Shamea, who confront each other over lap dog comments, loyalty, and accountability.Angela and Phaedra weigh in, Kelli mediates with her signature real talk, and the night ends with a symbolic leave-it-at-the-table reset… though the energy shift feels more like a slow burn than a fresh start.TakeawaysThe episode is titled 'Chapter 1 Reset' for a reason.Charity contributions are a recurring theme in the episode.Drew's calm demeanor contrasts with the drama around her.Family responsibilities weigh heavily on the characters.Phaedra's shade is a signature move in her interactions.The trip to Grenada symbolizes a fresh start for the group.Room assignments reflect the dynamics among the cast members.Portia's love for food is a consistent character trait.Drew's gesture of giving up the king-sized bed shows her thoughtfulness.Angela's announcement of her anniversary adds a layer of context to the dinner conversation. Phaedra's insinuations about happy endings reveal deeper friendship dynamics.The repeated discussions about college payments highlight unresolved conflicts.Accountability is crucial in friendships, as seen in the ongoing tensions.Drew and Portia's issues stem from miscommunication and external influences.Dennis is a central figure causing strife between Drew and Portia.The need to reset relationships is often complicated by past grievances.Reality TV often amplifies personal conflicts and misunderstandings.The importance of letting go of past issues for healthier friendships.Wendy and Kelli's banter reflects their shared love for reality TV.The conversation about Below Deck showcases their interest in new reality shows.Pop-u-lore Pop Culture PodcastThe go to pop culture podcast for millennials: full of useless and fascinating...Listen on: Apple Podcasts Spotify Volleybird Subscription BoxesVolleybird.shop for curated pickleball subscription boxes delivered every 8 weeksSupport the showhttps://www.wewinewhenever.com/
Wall Street up again amid trade deal optimism and rallying chipmaker stocks. Despite recent tensions, Trump and Xi Jinping are expected to talk this week. S&P 500 up 0.58%, NASDAQ up 0.81%. Dow fell at open but rose steadily throughout the day. Ended near high, up 214 points. Mainly positive sector performance. REITS and Staples showed a little weakness, all other sectors were up. Energy once again the best performer, as global refining margins hit a 14-month high in May. Materials and Industrials also did well.Tech had another positive session as chipmakers rallied. Nvidia up 2.8%, Broadcom rose 3.3%. Benefited from news stories focusing on coding startups use of AI and their high valuations, adding further fuel to the AI hype train. Alphabet only one of Mag7 materially down, shedding 1.7% as anti-trust cases weighed on it.US job openings increased in April and layoffs posted biggest rise in nine months. Indicative of a weakening labour market. Yields fell on news, boosting Financials and Utilities. Resources were mixed. Dollar strengthening hurt some. Oil rose on continued tensions between Ukraine and Russia, the US and Iran. Conflicts which suggest supply may remain tight. Some base metals like Copper and Zinc recorded modest gains while Tin was up nearly 3%.ASX to rise. SPI futures up 24 points (+0.28%).Want to invest with Marcus Today? The Managed Strategy Portfolio is designed for investors seeking exposure to our strategy while we do the hard work for you. If you're looking for personal financial advice, our friends at Clime Investment Management can help. Their team of licensed advisers operates across most states, offering tailored financial planning services. Why not sign up for a free trial? Gain access to expert insights, research, and analysis to become a better investor.
Watch the podcast live in Austin: https://www.tickettailor.com/events/h...Austin Major is right around the corner! All you need to know in detailed overview with Pick'Ems and hot takes featuring HLTV writer King Dempz.➡️ Follow us for updates: / hltvconfirmed
The Bible puts an important question to us. “What are the causes of quarrels and conflicts among you?” The Bible also gives us the wisdom to understand the causes and the cures of these conflicts. For Christians, the ultimate conflict between God and man is resolved in Christ. Now we live from a new heart in our relationships with others. Grace Community Church exists to build spiritually healthy people for ministry in the world. One of the ways that we pursue this mission is by gathering each Sunday for corporate worship, prayer, and biblical teaching. The corporate nature of this gathering is both edifying to the believer and a witness of God's grace to the world. Sermon speaker is Scott Patty unless otherwise noted.
Revenge has become Donald Trump's brand. That, at least, is the view of James Kimmel Jr, author of The Science of Revenge, who argues that revenge has become America's “deadliest addiction”. When we feel wronged, he says, our pain centers activate, triggering dopamine-releasing reward circuits that create pleasure from fantasizing about retaliation. This neurological pattern mirrors classic forms of substance addiction, and explains everything from street violence to Trump's "revenge brand" politics. Kimmel contends that roughly 20% of people become compulsively vengeful, driving most societal violence throughout history. The antidote? FORGIVENESS, which neuroscience shows actually eliminates pain rather than just masking it. Kimmel's provocative thesis suggests treating revenge like other addictions through public health approaches and potentially even pharmaceutical interventions. five key takeaways* Revenge is neurologically identical to drug addiction - Brain scans show that revenge-seeking activates the same dopamine reward circuits as substance abuse, making it literally addictive.* All violence stems from perceived victimization - From mass shootings to genocide, perpetrators first see themselves as victims seeking "righteous" retaliation for real or imagined grievances.* Forgiveness is a neurological "superpower" - Unlike revenge's temporary dopamine hit, forgiveness actually deactivates brain pain networks and permanently eliminates trauma rather than just covering it up.* Trump represents America's "revenge brand" - The current political climate reflects a nation caught in collective revenge addiction, with both sides seeking retaliatory pleasure for past grievances.* We need addiction-style treatment for violence - Just as we treat alcoholism with medical interventions, revenge addiction could be addressed through public health campaigns, education, and potentially pharmaceutical solutions.James Kimmel, Jr., J.D. is a lawyer, a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. A breakthrough scholar and expert on revenge and forgiveness, James first identified compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction. He developed the behavioral addiction model of revenge and the brain disease model of revenge addiction as public health approaches for preventing and treating violence. He made the study of revenge and forgiveness his life's work after nearly committing a mass shooting as a teenager. James created The Nonjustice System and the related Miracle Court App for healing from grievances and victimization, controlling revenge cravings and revenge addiction, and empowering forgiveness. He is a leader in expanding local, state, and national violence threat risk and reduction initiatives to include public behavioral health motive control strategies. He launched SavingCain.org, the first-of-it's-kind website aimed at preventing homicides and mass shootings by speaking directly to prospective killers (modeled on suicide prevention websites) and developed the "Warning Signs of a Revenge Attack" (modeled on heart attack prevention websites) to prevent violence before it happens. He also developed the School Nonjustice System bullying prevention and victim support program for use with schools and youth. He co-founded the largest peer support mental health agency in Pennsylvania, maintains an active legal practice, and is a speaker at workshops, seminars, trainings, conferences, and other public and private events. James is the author of three books on revenge and forgiveness: The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction--and How to Overcome It; The Trial of Fallen Angels, a novel; and Suing for Peace: A Guide for Resolving Life's Conflicts. James received his J.D. from the University of Pennsylvania and his B.S. summa cum laude from the Schreyer Honors College of the Pennsylvania State University.Named as one of the "100 most connected men" by GQ magazine, Andrew Keen is amongst the world's best known broadcasters and commentators. In addition to presenting the daily KEEN ON show, he is the host of the long-running How To Fix Democracy interview series. He is also the author of four prescient books about digital technology: CULT OF THE AMATEUR, DIGITAL VERTIGO, THE INTERNET IS NOT THE ANSWER and HOW TO FIX THE FUTURE. Andrew lives in San Francisco, is married to Cassandra Knight, Google's VP of Litigation & Discovery, and has two grown children.Keen On America is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit keenon.substack.com/subscribe
Vice President JD Vance told a crypto conference this week that the industry “finally has a champion and an ally in the White House.” And, he's right. Since taking office, President Donald Trump has largely reversed the industry's fortunes in Washington. But the industry's fortunes are now Trump's fortunes, as the president and his family plunge deeper into the digital currency business. That's starting to concern some Republicans and crypto lobbyists pushing the industry's agenda. On POLITICO Tech, POLITICO capital markets reporter Declan Harty joins host Steven Overly to explain why. Steven Overly is the host of POLITICO Tech and covers the intersection of politics and technology. Declan Harty covers U.S. capital markets and regulation of Wall Street for POLITICO. Nirmal Mulaikal is the co-host and producer of POLITICO Energy and producer of POLITICO Tech. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if our biggest biblical misunderstandings come from reading the right words in the wrong way? In this episode, Old Testament scholar Dr. Andy Judd joins Dru Johnson to unravel the complex and often misused concept of genre in biblical interpretation. Drawing from his background in English literature and law, Dr. Judd explains how many theological debates, misreadings, and even dangerous interpretations arise not from misused Hebrew dictionaries—but from unspoken assumptions about genre. Why do readers assume Abraham's behavior is exemplary? Why do sermons treat biblical laws like modern legal codes? Why do people interpret apocalyptic visions as historical predictions? From Genesis to Judges, Paul's letters to Revelation, Judd shows that failing to ask, “What kind of text is this?” is often where interpretation goes off the rails. Blending humor, literary theory, and deep biblical insight, Judd offers practical ways to become better “travelers” in the ancient biblical world—learning to coordinate with texts the way we coordinate with traffic rules in a new country. Andy Judd's personal website can be found here: https://www.andyjudd.com/ We are listener supported. Give to the cause here: https://hebraicthought.org/give For more articles: https://thebiblicalmind.org/ Social Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HebraicThought Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hebraicthought Threads: https://www.threads.net/hebraicthought X: https://www.twitter.com/HebraicThought Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/hebraicthought.org Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:54 The Journey into Genre Studies 03:26 Misinterpretations and Conflicts in Biblical Genre 06:26 Understanding Narrative and Ethical Frameworks 10:18 The Role of Genre in Biblical Interpretation 12:39 Defining Genre: Conventions and Contexts 14:37 Cultural Contexts and Genre Navigation 18:35 The Boomerang Test: A Practical Approach to Genre 24:32 Deep Structures and Genre Regulation 28:08 Understanding Genre in Scripture 33:54 The Role of Genre in Biblical Interpretation 39:22 Biblical Law: A Unique Genre 43:56 The Social Function of Biblical Law 49:42 Wisdom and the Interpretation of Law
Most people ignore their intuition and pay the price in missed opportunities and unnecessary struggle.
Revenge isn't just an emotional impulse—it's an addiction. Dr. Phil and James Kimmel, Jr., JD, break down its impact on the brain and how forgiveness rewires our chemistry for healing. Revenge feels like justice, but what if it's more like an addiction? Dr. Phil and James dive into the neuroscience behind revenge—how it hijacks our brain's pain and reward systems just like substance dependency. They explore how society reinforces these cycles, why letting go isn't weakness, and how forgiveness actually rewires the mind. Plus, Kimmel's “Non-Justice System” offers a fresh way to process grudges without fueling destruction. In Kimmel's latest groundbreaking book, The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction and How to Overcome It, unveils the unseen neurobiological forces behind our compulsive desires for retribution—an addiction that silently fuels violence and aggression in all its forms. James Kimmel, Jr., JD, is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. A breakthrough scholar and expert on revenge, he first identified compulsive revenge seeking as an addiction and developed the behavioral addiction model of revenge as a public health approach for preventing and treating violence. He is the creator of The Nonjustice System https://nonjustice.org/ , the Miracle Court app https://www.miraclecourt.com/and https://SavingCain.org for recovering from grievances and revenge desires and preventing mass violence. He maintains an active legal practice and speaking calendar and is the author of two other books on revenge: Suing for Peace: A Guide for Resolving Life's Conflicts and The Trial of Fallen Angels, a novel. Special thanks to our sponsors! Support the brands that support us! Visit them and let them know we sent you: Jase Medical: Get emergency antibiotics at https://Jase.com/ & use code PHIL for a discount. Kikoff: Build credit fast and get your first month for just a dollar at https://GetKikoff.com/phil/ today. Thanks to Kikoff for sponsoring us! Echo Water: Find your flow state. Visit https://echowater.com/PHIL/ & Use code PHIL for 10% off. MASA Chips: Visit: https://MASAChips.com/MERIT/ and use code MERIT for 25% off your first order. Balance of Nature: Go to https://balanceofnature.com/ or call 1.800.246.8751 and get this special offer by using Discount Code: “DRPHIL”. Get a FREE Fiber & Spice supplement, plus 35% OFF your first preferred set as a new Preferred Customer, with free shipping and our money-back guarantee. Start your journey with Balance of Nature. Preserve Gold: Visit: https://drphilgold.com/ Get a FREE precious metals guide that contains essential information on how to help protect your accounts. Text “DRPHIL” to 50505 to claim this exclusive offer from Preserve Gold today.
Rick Stroud and Steve Versnick answer your mailbag questions 100% correctly on Todd Bowles future as the Buccaneers Head Coach, Shaq Barrett, Vita Vea, NFL schedule, Bucs and Rays stadium conflicts, Lightning prospect Isaac Howard and remembering the Tampa Bay Times building in St. Pete. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Episode 151 – Internal Conflicts in OSR Play, by Idle Cartulary Reading performed by Nick LS Whelan. The original post can be found on Nova's blog, Playful Void. Help offset our hosting costs with a donation on Ko-Fi! The music is a selection from “Journey of Solitude,” composed and performed by Russel Cox, distributed through … Continue reading "Episode 151 – Internal Conflicts in OSR Play, by Idle Cartulary"
Conflicts between motorized vehicles (ATVs, dirt bikes) and non-motorized users (cyclists, hikers) present ongoing challenges for multi-use trails – particularly when the trail spans almost 30,000km! Trails BC Director Léon Lebrun shares his 29-year journey with the Trans-Canada Trail, revealing how this ambitious project went from concept to reality while still facing significant challenges in British Columbia. We also explore the evolution of trail management from grassroots engagement to centralized control, with Léon advocating for a return to more local involvement and partnership. You can find out about the Trans Canada Trail and other BC Trails at TrailsBC.ca. To get involved contact Léon at LebrunL@telus.net.***********************************************The Bike Sense podcast with Peter Ladner is produced by the BC Cycling Coalition – your voice for safer and more accessible cycling and active transportation in British Columbia. Got feedback or ideas for future episodes? Please drop us an email at admin@bccycling.ca.IMPORTANT: membership in the BCCC is now FREE! To find out about BCCC's projects and add your voice to the chorus please visit BCCycling.ca
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When your coworker might be a demon or something.
Rogers for America with Lt. Steve Rogers – Global conflicts intensify as the Ukraine-Russia war strains resources and NATO tensions rise. Reports of Iranian aggression and South Africa land seizures deepen instability. President Trump's peace efforts face scrutiny amid fears of U.S. military entanglement, nuclear escalation, Chinese influence in Africa, enduring terrorism threats, and questions over support levels.
Is your Booster Club working with your coach or against them without even realizing it? In this solo episode, Robin dives into one of the most common—and confusing—topics Booster Club leaders face: defining the relationship with coaches, marching band directors, and program heads. She explains how Booster Clubs, as independent nonprofits, can collaborate effectively while maintaining clear roles and boundaries. Robin offers practical strategies—from holding quarterly meetings and setting budget boundaries to navigating privacy concerns and involving coaches in board succession planning. Her advice helps Booster Club leaders build strong, respectful partnerships that support student programs without stepping over the line. If you've ever asked, "Should the coach be in our board meetings?" or "Can we legally pay a coach?"—this episode is for you. Key Takeaways: [01:30] Booster Clubs are separate nonprofits—not owned by the school or coach. [03:58] The program leader is your main partner. Build trust early. [06:45] Hold quarterly meetings with coaches to align on goals. [08:40] Clearly define what the Booster Club funds—and what it doesn't. [11:38] Respect privacy laws—don't expect access to student data. [13:15] Involve coaches in board succession planning. [15:36] Conflicts often stem from misunderstandings—keep communication open. [17:33] Set the tone early: Booster Clubs exist to support, not direct. [19:03] Rebuilding trust takes time—start with consistent, clear actions.
AP Washington correspondent Sagar Meghani reports on Vice President Vance telling Naval Academy graduates the Trump administration will use the military decisively.
AP's Lisa Dwyer reports that a peace organization in Washington has retaken their building.
Remember that love covers a multitude of sins (Proverbs 10:12). By practicing conflict resolution, nagkakaroon tayo ng pagkakataon na maiparamdam sa iba ang pag-ibig ng Diyos.All Rights Reserved, CBN Asia Inc.https://www.cbnasia.com/giveSupport the show
Scott is joined by Kyle Anzalone to go over the latest news related to American foreign policy. They start with the talks to end the war in Ukraine and the negotiations for a new Iran nuclear deal. They then look at the latest reports of what Israel is doing to Gaza. Discussed on the show: “Trump denies rift with Netanyahu, says PM 'fought hard and bravely'” (The Cradle) “Israel's mission of total urban destruction” (+972 Magazine) Kyle Anzalone is news editor of the Libertarian Institute, opinion editor of Antiwar.com, co-host of Conflicts of Interest and host of The Kyle Anzalone Show. Follow him on Twitter @KyleAnzalone_ This episode of the Scott Horton Show is sponsored by: Roberts and Roberts Brokerage Incorporated; Moon Does Artisan Coffee; Tom Woods' Liberty Classroom; Libertas Bella; ExpandDesigns.com/Scott. Get Scott's interviews before anyone else! Subscribe to the Substack. Shop Libertarian Institute merch or donate to the show through Patreon, PayPal or Bitcoin: 1DZBZNJrxUhQhEzgDh7k8JXHXRjY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Download Episode. Scott is joined by Kyle Anzalone to go over the latest news related to American foreign policy. They start with the talks to end the war in Ukraine and the negotiations for a new Iran nuclear deal. They then look at the latest reports of what Israel is doing to Gaza. Discussed on the show: “Trump denies rift with Netanyahu, says PM 'fought hard and bravely'” (The Cradle) “Israel's mission of total urban destruction” (+972 Magazine) Kyle Anzalone is news editor of the Libertarian Institute, opinion editor of Antiwar.com, co-host of Conflicts of Interest and host of The Kyle Anzalone Show. Follow him on Twitter @KyleAnzalone_ This episode of the Scott Horton Show is sponsored by: Roberts and Roberts Brokerage Incorporated; Moon Does Artisan Coffee; Tom Woods' Liberty Classroom; Libertas Bella; ExpandDesigns.com/Scott. Get Scott's interviews before anyone else! Subscribe to the Substack. Shop Libertarian Institute merch or donate to the show through Patreon, PayPal or Bitcoin: 1DZBZNJrxUhQhEzgDh7k8JXHXRjY
Today, Jesse is joined by Don McDonald to offer a critical examination of the financial advising and annuity industries, warning retirees and near-retirees about misleading sales tactics that exploit fear - especially the fear of market losses. They emphasize the importance of working with fee-only, fiduciary advisors who are legally obligated to act in clients' best interests, in contrast to commission-based salespeople who often obscure fees, misrepresent guarantees, and use charm to build trust. Drawing from Jason Zweig's “19 Questions to Ask Your Financial Advisor,” Jesse highlights key criteria for evaluating advisors, including transparency, credentials, investment philosophy, and service scope. They condemn opaque fee structures, sales contests, and annuity marketing tactics - like steak dinners that pressure attendees into high-commission products - and describe most annuities as complex, wealth-threatening vehicles. Jesse adds practical suggestions like inquiring about an advisor's succession plan, communication style, and client load, and stresses the value of education and evidence-based investing. The two advocate for comprehensive financial planning and alignment of advisor-client interests, with Don underscoring the importance of commitment to honesty, transparency, and fiduciary duty. Key Takeaways:• Annuity and investment salespeople often exploit retirees' fear of losing money in market downturns to sell high-fee products. • While there are niche use cases, many annuity products are expensive, opaque, and designed to benefit the seller more than the buyer. • You need to know what happens to your financial relationship if your advisor retires or leaves. • State-level oversight often fails to protect consumers from misleading practices. • Know the difference between moral fiduciary responsibility and legal fiduciary responsibility. • It's a red flag if an advisor recommends products they wouldn't use for themselves. Key Timestamps:(00:00) Understanding Annuities and Financial Advisors (02:08) 19 Questions to Ask Your Financial Advisor (08:13) Conflicts of Interest in Financial Advising (12:56) Investment Philosophy and Market Timing (18:34) Professional Credentials and Requirements (23:07) Additional Questions for Your Financial Advisor (29:05) The Gamble of Annuities (34:34) The Deceptive World of Indexed Annuities (36:17) The Ethics of Financial Advisors (39:29) The Lack of Federal Oversight (46:38) Misleading Sales Tactics (49:42) Advice for Annuity Holders and Seekers (56:45) Don McDonald's Financial Talk Show Key Topics Discussed:The Best Interest, Jesse Cramer, Wealth Management Rochester NY, Financial Planning for Families, Fiduciary Financial Advisor, Comprehensive Financial Planning, Retirement Planning Advice, Tax-Efficient Investing, Risk Management for Investors, Generational Wealth Transfer Planning, Financial Strategies for High Earners, Personal Finance for Entrepreneurs, Behavioral Finance Insights, Asset Allocation Strategies, Advanced Estate Planning Techniques Mentions:Website: https://talkingrealmoney.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/donmcdonald/ More of The Best Interest:Check out the Best Interest Blog at bestinterest.blog Contact me at jesse@bestinterest.blog The Best Interest Podcast is a personal podcast meant for education and entertainment. It should not be taken as financial advice, and is not prescriptive of your financial situation.
In this edition of my Leadership Espresso Shot series, I share 4 proven keys that will help you successfully resolve workplace conflicts and strengthen professional relationships. As workplace tensions continue to rise, your ability to master these four conflict resolution measures will be critical to your leadership effectiveness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Unleashing Intuition Secrets: Quantum Healing, Big Pharma Takedowns, and Shilajit Benefits In this episode of 'Unleashing Intuition Secrets,' Host Michael Jaco and guest Noah dive into the transformative realm of quantum healing, the promising advancements in health under the new administration, and the controversies surrounding big pharma. They discuss the innovative work of Casey and Callie Means, breakthroughs in dietary guidelines, and the potential hazards of ultra-processed foods. The conversation also touches upon the benefits of Shilajit, a natural adaptogen, and its role in enhancing health and combating daily stressors, supported by various scientific studies. The duo provides an in-depth analysis of current health paradigms and future prospects, emphasizing the importance of staying observant and open-minded in these rapidly changing times.
I've never highlighted a book as much as They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship. It's my favorite book in 2025! Watch the Video Interview Author Dr. Isabelle Morley gives us a timely book that rejects the reckless proliferation of the following terms: Sociopath Psychopath Love bomb Narcissist Boundaries Borderline Toxic Gaslighting Who is Dr. Isabelle Morley? Dr. Morley is not a chronic gaslighter trying to convince the world that she doesn't gaslight by writing a book about it. Here's her resume: Author of Navigating Intimacy and They're Not Gaslighting You Co-host of the podcast Romcom Rescue Contributor to Psychology Today Advisory Board Member of the Keepler app Founding Board Member of UCAN Member of the American Psychological Association Certified in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) The Gottman Method – Completed Levels 1 and 2 Relational Life Therapy – Completed Level 1 PsyD in Clinical Psychology from William James College, 2015 Doctoral project researching hookup culture's impact on relationship formation, 2015 Master's in Professional Psychology from William James College, 2013 Bachelor of Arts from Tufts University, 2011 My Fatima Story I dated a woman for two years. Let's call her Fatima. In the second half of our relationship, Fatima bombarded me with many of the highly charged and often misused words listed above. After she dumped me the fifth and final time, I finally pushed back on her barrage of accusations. I said to her, “So, you truly believe I'm a narcissist? Let's look up the clinical definition of a narcissist and see how I stack up.” She agreed. Perplexity wrote: To be clinically considered as having Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) according to the DSM-5, an individual must exhibit at least five out of nine specific characteristics. These characteristics, as summarized by the acronym “SPECIAL ME,” include: Sense of self-importance Exaggerating achievements and expecting to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements. Preoccupation Being preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Entitled Having unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations. Can only be around people who are important or special Believing that they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions). Interpersonally exploitative Taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends. Arrogant Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes. Lack empathy Being unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. Must be admired Requiring excessive admiration. Envious Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them. These symptoms must be pervasive, apparent in various social situations, and consistently rigid over time. A qualified healthcare professional typically diagnoses NPD through a clinical interview. The traits should also substantially differ from social norms. I asked her how many of these nine characteristics I exhibited consistently, pervasively, and in many social situations. She agreed that I was nowhere near five of the nine. Admittedly, I sometimes exhibited some of these nine characteristics in my intimate relationship with Fatima. I'm certainly guilty of that. However, to qualify as a true narcissist, you must display at least five of these nine characteristics often and with most people, not just your partner. To her credit, my ex-girlfriend sheepishly backed down from that accusation, saying, “You're right, Francis, you're not a narcissist.” Later, I would educate her (or, as she would say, “mansplain”) about another of her favorite words: gaslighting. I mansplained by sending her a video clip of renowned couples therapist Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, who explained why standard disagreements and having different perspectives aren't gaslighting. Soon after explaining that, Mrs. Gottman explains why, in some ways, “everybody is narcissistic.” Watch 6 minutes from 1:35:30 to 1:41:30: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9kPmiV0B34&t=5730s After listening to an expert define gaslighting, Fatima apologized for incorrectly using the term. This is what I loved about Fatima: she wouldn't stubbornly cling to her position when presented with compelling evidence to the contrary. This is a rare trait I cherish. Narcissists and sociopaths are about 1% of the population, so it's highly unlikely that all your exes are narcissists and sociopaths. Still, Fatima flung other popular, misused terms at me. She loved talking about “boundaries” and “red flags.” According to Dr. Morley, my ex “weaponized therapy speak.” Dr. Morley writes, “It's not a new phenomenon for people to use therapy terms casually, even flippantly, to describe themselves or other people. How long have we referred to someone as a ‘psycho' when they're acting irrationally or being mean?” Although weaponized therapy speak isn't new, it's ubiquitous nowadays. Dr. Morley's book sounds the alarm that it's out of control and dangerous. Three types of people would benefit from Dr. Morley's book: People like Fatima: Does someone you know tend to denigrate people using therapy speak? Are they intelligent, rational, and open-minded like Fatima? If so, they must read this book to recalibrate how they use these powerful words. People like me: Are you (or someone you know) accused of being a psychopath, a gaslighter, or a person with OCD? Actual victims: The explosion of use of these powerful words has diluted their meaning. As a result, the real victims of narcissists and sociopaths are now belittled. Their true suffering is minimized when every other person has a sociopath in their life. Their grievances are severe. Let's not equate our relationship problems with their terror. I'll list some of my favorite chapter titles, which will give you a flavor of the book's message: Chapter 4: Are They Gaslighting You, or Do They Just Disagree? Chapter 5: Do They Have OCD, or Are They Just Particular? Chapter 6: Is It a Red Flag, or Are They Just Imperfect? Chapter 7: Are They a Narcissist, or Did They Just Hurt Your Feelings? Chapter 9: Are They a Sociopath, or Do They Just Like You Less Than you Like Them? Chapter 11: Did They Violate Your Boundaries, or Did They Just Not Know How You Felt? I will quote extensively to encourage everyone to buy Dr. Mosley's book. Most quotations are self-explanatory, but sometimes I will offer personal commentary. Excerpts The trend of weaponized therapy speak marks something very different. These days, clinical words are wielded, sincerely and self-righteously, to lay unilateral blame on one person in a relationship while excusing the other from any wrongdoing. ========== Many times, we use these words as protective measures to help us avoid abusive partners and reduce our risk of “wasting” time or emotional energy on family or friends who don't deserve it. But using these terms can also absolve people from taking responsibility for their actions in their relationships. They can say, “I had to do that because of my obsessive-compulsive disorder” or “We didn't work out because she's a narcissist,” instead of doing the hard work of seeing their part in the problem and addressing the issues behind it. As a couples therapist, I'm particularly concerned with how the enthusiastic but inaccurate embrace of clinical terminology has made it harder to sustain healthy romantic attachments. With Fatima, our relationship woes were always my fault because I crossed her “boundaries” and I was a “narcissist.” If I disagreed, I was “gaslighting” her. Or I was being “defensive” instead of apologizing. And when I apologized, I did so incorrectly because I offered excuses after saying I'm sorry (she was right about that). The point is that she used weaponized therapy speak to demonize me, alleviating herself from the burden of considering that perhaps she shared some of the responsibility for our woes. ========== Their friend doesn't agree with their warped view of an event or their disproportionate reaction? The friend is an empathy-lacking narcissist who is actively gaslighting them. ========== In one memorable session of mine, a client managed to accuse their partner of narcissism, gaslighting, love bombing, blaming the victim, lacking accountability, having no empathy, and being generally abusive, manipulative, and toxic . . . all within twenty minutes. Although Fatima and I went to couples therapy, I don't remember Dr. Mosley being our facilitator, but that sure sounds like Fatima! LOL! ========== I'm certified in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFCT), which is a type of couples therapy based on attachment theory. ========== For example, if you feel like a failure for letting your partner down, you might immediately minimize your partner's feelings and tell them they shouldn't react so strongly to such a small issue. (For anyone wondering, this isn't gaslighting.) That makes them feel unheard and unimportant, so they get even more upset, which makes you dismiss their reaction as dramatic, and round and round it goes. Welcome to my world with Fatima! ========== You could claim your partner is toxic and borderline because they're emotionally volatile and unforgiving. You could say their feelings are disproportionate to the problem, and their verbal assault is bordering on abusive. But your partner could say that you are a narcissist who is gaslighting them by refusing to acknowledge their feelings, showing no empathy for the distress your tardiness caused, and shifting the blame to them (just like a narcissist would!). You'd both be wrong, of course, but you can see how these conclusions could happen. ========== Weaponized therapy speak is our attempt to understand people and situations in our lives, yes, but it is also a strategy to avoid responsibility. It puts the blame solely on the other person and allows us to ignore our part. ========== However, the vast majority of partners and friends are not sociopaths, narcissists, or abusers. They're just flawed. They're insecure, demanding, controlling, emotional, or any number of adjectives, but these traits alone aren't pathological. ========== But doing such things now and then in our relational histories, or doing them often in just one relationship, doesn't mean we have a personality disorder. These diagnoses are reserved for people who exhibit a persistent pattern of maladaptive behaviors in most or all of their close relationships. ========== I wasn't an abusive partner. I was a messy newcomer to relationships, as we usually are in our teens and twenties, trying my best to navigate my feelings while following bad examples from television and making plenty of other blunders along the way. Stonewalling was immature and an unhelpful way of coping, but it wasn't abuse. ========== If we're looking for a partner who will always do the right thing, even in the hardest moments, we're only setting ourselves up for disappointment. As I mentioned before, really good people can behave really badly. ========== If we don't know the difference between abusive behavior and normal problematic behavior, we're at risk for either accepting abuse (thinking that it's just a hard time) or, alternatively, throwing away a perfectly good relationship because we can't accept any flaws or mistakes. Alas, Fatima threw away a perfectly good relationship. I was her second boyfriend. Her lack of experience made her underappreciate what we had. She'll figure it out with the next guy. ========== Disagreeing with someone, thinking your loved one is objectively wrong, arguing about what really happened and what was actually said, trying to find your way to the one and only “truth”—these are things that most people do. They are not helpful or effective, but they also are not gaslighting. ========== “What? I didn't say yes to seeing it, Cece. I said yes to finding houses we both liked and visiting them. Sometimes you just hear what you want to and then get mad at me when you realize it's not what I actually said,” Meg answers. “Stop gaslighting me! Don't tell me what happened. I remember exactly what you said! You told me yes to this open house and then changed your mind, and I'm upset about it. I'm allowed to be upset about it; don't invalidate my feelings!” Cece says, her frustration growing. Meg feels surprised and nervous. She didn't think she was gaslighting Cece, which is exactly what she says. “I didn't mean to gaslight you. I just remember this differently. I don't remember saying I would go to this open house, so that's why I don't understand why you're this upset.” “Yes, you are gaslighting me because you're trying to convince me that what I clearly remember happening didn't happen. But you can't gaslight me because I'm positive I'm right.” ========== Cece's accusation of gaslighting quickly shut down the conversation, labeling Meg as a terrible partner and allowing Cece to exit the conversation as the victor. ========== I find gaslighting to be one of the harder labels to deal with in my clinical work for three reasons: 1. Accusations of gaslighting are incredibly common. I hear accusations of gaslighting at least once a week, and yet it's only been accurate about five times in my entire clinical career. Boyfriend didn't agree with what time you were meeting for dinner? Gaslighting. Spouse said you didn't tell them to pick up milk on the way home, but you swear you did? Gaslighting. ========== You could say, “I want you to know that I really understand your perspective on this. I see things differently, but your experience is valid, and it makes sense. I'm not trying to convince you that you're wrong and I'm right, and I'm sorry if I came across that way.” WHAT IS VALIDATION? Validation is another word that suffers from frequent misuse. People demand validation, but what they're really asking for is agreement. And if someone doesn't agree, they call it toxic. Here's the thing, though: Validation is not the same as agreement. ========== You can disagree in your head but still validate how they feel: “Hey, you're not crazy. I see why you'd feel that way. It makes sense to me. I'd probably feel that way too if I were in your shoes, experiencing our interaction the way you did. I care about your feelings.” ========== “I bet it felt really awful to have me challenge your experience and make you feel like it wasn't right or valid.” I regret I learned this lesson too late with Fatima. I was too slow to validate her feelings. We learn something in every relationship. Ideally, our partner is patient with us as we stumble through the learning process, often repeating the same error until we form a new habit. However, Fatima ran out of patience with me. I couldn't change fast enough for her, even though I was eager to learn and dying to please her. By the time I began to learn about proper validation and apologies, she had given up on me. ========== My husband, Lucas, hates it when lids aren't properly put on jars. You know, when a lid is half on and still loose or haphazardly tightened and askew? I, on the other hand, could not care less. I am the only perpetrator of putting lids on wrong in our house. I barely screw on the top to the pickles, peanut butter, medications, water bottles, or food storage containers. I don't even realize that I do it because I care so little about it. This drives Lucas absolutely crazy. I love this example because it's what I would repeatedly tell Fatima: some habits are hard to break. Dr. Mosley knows her husband hates half-closed jars, but she struggles to comply with his wishes. We're imperfect creatures. ========== Is your partner always leaving a wet towel on the floor after showering? Red flag—they're irresponsible and will expect you to clean up after them. Is your friend bad at texting to let you know when they're behind schedule? Red flag—they're selfish, inconsiderate, and don't value your time. It's all too easy to weaponize this term in a relationship, in hopes that it will shame the other person into changing. ========== People aren't perfect. Individually, we're messy, and in relationships, we're much messier. We all make mistakes, sometimes repeatedly for our entire lives. Instead of labeling all unwanted behaviors as red flags and expecting change or running away altogether, try a new approach: Identify why those behaviors hurt you and share that with your loved one instead. ========== When confronted with the knowledge that we've hurt someone, many of us become defensive. We hate the idea of hurting the person we love and since we usually didn't intend to hurt them, we start explaining why our actions weren't that bad and why they shouldn't feel upset. It comes from a place of inadequacy, self-criticism, and remorse. If the other person responds like this but you can tell they care about your pain, this may be a good time to give them some grace in the form of empathy and time. Wait a few hours or even a few days, then try the conversation again. For every criticism I had about Fatima's behavior, she had 20 criticisms about my behavior. As a result, I had many more opportunities to fall into the trap of becoming defensive. It's so hard to resist. I'm still working on that front. ========== We all have a touch of narcissism, which can get bigger at certain points in life, ========== Conflicts are upsetting, and we've all developed ways of protecting ourselves, whether it's getting loud to be heard or emotionally withdrawing to prevent a panic attack. Underneath these less-than-ideal responses, though, we feel awful. We feel scared, insecure, inadequate, unimportant, and alone. We hate fighting with our loved ones, and we really hate that we've hurt them, especially unknowingly. We're not being defensive because we have a narcissistic belief in our own superiority; we're doing it because we're terrified that the person won't understand us and will see us negatively, so we need to show them our side and explain to them why we aren't to blame. ========== But whether it's an inflated ego, vanity, self-absorption, or just unusually healthy confidence, these traits do not make a narcissist. To have NPD, the person must also require external validation and admiration, and to be seen as superior to others. This is the difference between a big ego and grandiosity. Grandiosity goes several steps beyond confidence—it's a near-delusional sense of importance, where someone exaggerates their achievements and expects others to see them as superior. ========== Some people suck. They're immature, mean, selfish, and unremorseful. Some people don't respect other people in their lives. They lie and they cheat, and they don't care that it hurts others. But they can be all these things and still not be a narcissist. There's a lot of room for people to be awful without meeting the criteria for a personality disorder, and that's because (you guessed it!) people are flawed. Some people feel justified in behaving badly, while others just don't know any better yet. Our growth is messy and not linear. ========== The reality is that anyone who genuinely worries that they are a narcissist, probably isn't. That level of openness and willingness to self-reflect is not typical of a narcissist. Plus, narcissists don't tend to believe or care that they've hurt others, whereas my clients are deeply distressed by the possibility that they've unknowingly caused others pain. ========== As with gaslighting, I have rarely seen people accurately diagnose narcissism. To put it bluntly, I have never seen a client in a couples therapy session call their partner a narcissist and be right. In fact, the person misusing the label usually tends to be more narcissistic and have more therapy work to do than their partner. ========== person involved with a narcissist to accurately identify the disorder because people with NPD are great at making other people think they are the problem. It's an insidious process, and rarely do people realize what's happening until others point it out to them or the narcissist harshly devalues or leaves them. Now, you might be in a relationship with someone who has NPD, but instead of jumping to “narcissist!” it's helpful to use other adjectives and be more specific about your concerns. Saying that a certain behavior was selfish or that a person seems unremorseful is more exact than calling them a narcissist. ========== Love bombing can happen at any point in a relationship, but it's most often seen at the start. ========== Love bombing is also a typical follow-up to fights. ========== Humans are a complicated species. Despite our amazing cognitive capacities and our innate desire to be good (well, most of us anyway), we often cause harm. People act in ways that can damage their relationships, both intentionally and unknowingly, but that doesn't make them sociopaths. In fact, anyone in a close and meaningful relationship will end up hurting the other person and will also end up getting hurt at some point because close relationships inevitably involve a degree of pain, be it disappointment, sadness, anger, or frustration. Even when we're doing our best, we hurt each other. We can't equate normal missteps and hurt with sociopathy. ========== People love to call their exes sociopaths, just like they love calling them narcissists. Dr. Mosley focuses on the term sociopath because it's more popular nowadays than the term psychopath, but they both suffer from misuse and overuse, she says. If your partner (or you) use the term psychopath often, then in the following excerpts, replace the word “sociopath” with “psychopath.” ========== calling someone a sociopath is extreme. You're calling them out as a human who has an underdeveloped (or nonexistent) capacity to be a law-abiding, respectful, moral member of society. And in doing so, you're saying they were the entire problem in your relationship. Unless you were with a person who displayed a variety of extreme behaviors that qualify as ASPD, that conclusion isn't fair, accurate, or serving you. Again, you're missing out on the opportunity to reflect on your part in the problem, examine how you could have been more effective in the relationship, and identify how you can change for the better in your next relationship. If you label your ex a sociopath and call it a day, you're cutting yourself short. ========== Let the record show that I have never seen someone use the term sociopath correctly in their relationship. ========== some boundaries are universal and uncrossable, but the majority are personal preferences that need to be expressed and, at times, negotiated. Claiming a boundary violation is a quick and easy way to control someone's behavior, and that's why it's important to clarify what this phrase means and how to healthily navigate boundaries in a relationship. Fatima loved to remind me of and enforce her “boundaries.” It was a long list, so I inevitably crossed them, which led to drama. ========== There are some boundaries we all agree are important and should be uncrossable—I call these universal boundaries. Violating universal boundaries, especially when done repeatedly without remorse or regard for the impact it has on the other person, amounts to abuse. ========== The main [universal boundaries] are emotional, physical, sexual, and financial boundaries ========== Outside of these universal, uncrossable boundaries, there are also individual boundaries. Rather than applying to all people, these boundaries are specific to the person and defined by their own preferences and needs. As such, they are flexible, fluid over time, and full of nuance. If they are crossed, it can be uncomfortable, but it isn't necessarily abuse. ========== boundary is a line drawn to ensure safety and autonomy, whereas a preference is something that would make you feel happy but is not integral to your sense of relational security or independence. ========== While a well-adjusted person might start a dialogue about how to negotiate an individual boundary in a way that honors both partners' needs, an abusive person will never consider if their boundary can be shifted or why it might be damaging or significantly limiting to the other person. Instead, they will accuse, blame, and manipulate their partner as their way of keeping that person within their controlling limits. ========== The point is that as we go through life, our boundaries shift. As you can see, this is part of what makes it difficult for people to anticipate or assess boundary violations. If you expect and demand that the people close to you honor your specific boundaries on certain topics, but you're not telling them what the boundaries are or when and how they've changed, you're setting your loved ones up for failure. ========== And again, people unknowingly cross each other's individual boundaries all the time. It's simply inevitable. ========== It will create an unnecessary and unproductive rift. 3. We Mistake Preferences for Boundaries Boundaries protect our needs for safety and security. Preferences promote feelings of happiness, pleasure, or calm. When someone crosses a boundary, it compromises our physical or mental health. When someone disregards a preference, we may feel annoyed, but it doesn't pose a risk to our well-being. ========== You've Been Accused of Violating a Boundary If you're in a close relationship, chances are you're going to violate the other person's boundaries at some point. This is especially likely if the person has not told you what boundaries are important to them. However, you might also be unjustly accused of violating a boundary, perhaps a boundary you didn't know about or a preference masquerading as a boundary, and you'll need to know what to do. ========== I never thought of telling Fatima that she was “borderline.” It helps that I didn't know what the term meant. Dr. Mosley says that a person must have several of the “borderline” characteristics to have borderline personality disorder (BPD). Fatima only had one of them, so she did not have BPD. Here's the only BPD trait she exhibited: Stormy, intense, and chaotic relationships: Have relationships that tend to be characterized by extremes of idealization and devaluation in which the person with BPD idolizes someone one moment and then vilifies them the next. Because they struggle to see others in a consistent and nuanced way, their relationships go through tumultuous ups and downs, where they desire intense closeness one minute and then reject the person the next. Fatima promised me, “I will love you forever,” “I want to marry you,” “I will be with you until death,” “I'll never leave you,” and other similar extreme promises. Three days later, she would dump me and tell me she never wanted to get back together. Two days later, she apologized and wanted to reunite. Soon, she would be making her over-the-top romantic declarations again. She'd write them and say them repeatedly, not just while making love. Eventually, I'd fuck up again. Instead of collaborating to prevent further fuck ups, Fatima would simply break up with me with little to no discussion. This would naturally make me question her sincerity when she repeatedly made her I-will-be-with-you-forever promises. You might wonder why I was so fucking stupid to reunite with her after she did that a couple of times. Why did I always beg her to reconsider and reunite with me even after we repeated the pattern four times? (The fifth time she dumped me was the last time.) Humans are messy. I expect imperfection. I know my loved one will repeatedly do stupid shit because I sure will. So, I forgave her knee-jerk breakup reaction because I knew she didn't do it out of malice. She did it to protect herself. She was in pain. She thought that pulling the plug would halt the pain. That's reasonable but wrong. That doesn't matter. She's learning, I figured. I need to be patient. I was hopeful we'd break the pattern and learn how to deal with conflict maturely. We didn't. I'm confident she'll figure it out soon, just like I learned from my mistakes with her. ========== If I had to pick one word to describe people with BPD, it would be unstable. Fatima was unstable in a narrow situation: only with one person (me) and only when the shit hit the fan with me. Aside from that, she was highly stable. Hence, it would have been ludicrous if I accused her of having Borderline Personality Disorder. Luckily, I never knew the overused borderline term; even if I did, I wouldn't be tempted to use it on her. ========== Just as with red flags, we all exhibit some toxic behaviors at times. I don't know anyone who has lived a toxic-free existence. Sometimes we go through tough phases where our communication and coping skills are down, and we'll act more toxically than we might normally; this doesn't make us a toxic person. Indeed, many romantic relationships go through toxic episodes, if you will (should we make “toxic episode” a thing?), where people aren't communicating well, are escalating conflicts, and are generally behaving badly. We need to normalize a certain level of temporary or situational toxicity while also specifying what we mean by saying “toxic.” This is the only way we can determine whether the relationship needs help or needs ending. ========== trauma is itself a heavy, often misunderstood word. Its original meaning referenced what we now call “big T” trauma: life-threatening events such as going to war or surviving a car crash. Nowadays, we also talk about “little t” trauma: events that cause significant distress but aren't truly life-threatening, like being bullied in school or having an emotionally inconsistent parent. ========== Avoiding relationships with anyone who triggers hard feelings will mean a very lonely existence. ========== a trauma bond is the connection that survivors feel with their abuser. ========== A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== soldiers aren't trauma bonded after going to war together; they're socially bonded, albeit in an unusually deep way. A captured soldier who defends his captors? That person is, in fact, trauma bonded. ========== None of us get to have a happy relationship without hard times and hard work. It's normal and okay to sometimes struggle with the person you're close to or love. When the struggle happens, don't despair. Within the struggle are opportunities to invest in the relationship and grow, individually and together. ========== If you determine your relationship is in a tough spot but not abusive, now's the time for some hard relational work. A good cocktail for working on your relationship is specificity, vulnerability, and commitment. ========== Making a relationship work requires you and your loved ones to self-reflect, take responsibility, and change. This process won't just happen once; it's a constant cycle you'll go through repeatedly over the course of the relationship. You'll both need to look at yourselves, own what you've done wrong or could do better, and work to improve. Nobody is ever finished learning and growing, not individually and certainly not in a relationship. But that's what can be so great about being in a relationship: It's a never-ending opportunity to become a better person. And when you mess up (because trust me, you will), be kind to yourself. As I keep saying, humans are wonderfully imperfect. Even when we know what to do, sometimes we just don't or can't do it. ========== In this world of messy humans, how do you know who will be a good person for you to be with? My answer: Choose someone who wants to keep doing the work with you. There is no perfect person or partner for you, no magical human that won't ever hurt, irritate, enrage, or overwhelm you. Being in close relationships inevitably leads to big, scary feelings at times, so pick someone who wants to get through the dark times with you. Remember that when people are behaving badly in a desperate attempt to connect—not control—they'll be able to look at themselves, recognize the bad behavior, and change. Pick someone who has the willingness to self-reflect and grow, even if it's hard. Someone who will hang in there, even during your worst fights, and ultimately say, “Listen, this is awful, and I don't want to keep arguing like this, but I love you and I want to figure this out with you.” Wow. So well said. And this, in a paragraph, explains where Fatima and I failed. I dislike pointing fingers at my ex when explaining why we broke up. I made 90% of the mistakes in my relationship with Fatima, so I bear most of the responsibility. However, Fatima was the weaker one on one metric: having someone who wants to collaborate to make a beautiful relationship despite the hardships. The evident proof is that she dumped me five times, whereas I never dumped her or even threatened to dump her. I always wanted to use our problems as a chance to learn and improve. Fatima used them as an excuse to quit. She tried. She really did. However, she lacked the commitment Dr. Mosley discussed in that paragraph. Perhaps another man will inspire Fatima to find the strength and courage to bounce back and not throw in the towel. Or maybe she will mature and evolve to a point where she can be with someone less compatible than I was for her. She would often declare, “Francis, we're incompatible.” I'd say, “No, we are compatible; we have incompatibilities. Everyone has incompatibilities. We just need to work through them. If there is a willingness to collaborate, we can solve any incompatibility. The only couples who are truly incompatible are the ones where one or both individuals refuse to budge or learn. We can overcome countless incompatibilities as long as we both want to be together.” ========== We have wounds and scars and bad habits. We rely on ineffective but protective coping mechanisms. We push others away when we're hurt or scared. ========== Everyone behaves badly sometimes. But even then, odds are they're not gaslighting you. Conclusion I'll repeat: They're Not Gaslighting You: Ditch the Therapy Speak and Stop Hunting for Red Flags in Every Relationship is my favorite book in 2025! Buy it! Feedback Leave anonymous audio feedback at SpeakPipe More info You can post comments, ask questions, and sign up for my newsletter at http://wanderlearn.com. If you like this podcast, subscribe and share! On social media, my username is always FTapon. Connect with me on: Facebook Twitter YouTube Instagram TikTok LinkedIn Pinterest Tumblr My Patrons sponsored this show! Claim your monthly reward by becoming a patron at http://Patreon.com/FTapon Rewards start at just $2/month! Affiliate links Get 25% off when you sign up to Trusted Housesitters, a site that helps you find sitters or homes to sit in. Start your podcast with my company, Podbean, and get one month free! In the USA, I recommend trading crypto with Kraken. Outside the USA, trade crypto with Binance and get 5% off your trading fees! For backpacking gear, buy from Gossamer Gear.
AP's Lisa Dwyer reports that a judge has ruled against the Trump administration on shuttering a peace institute created to help avoid violent conflict.
Cameroon has over 300 villages, and the ongoing chieftaincy crises have affected dozens of them. However, in recent years, the country has experienced numerous chieftaincy disputes. So, what can traditional leaders do to maintain smooth transitions of power? Mimi Mefo talks to Fon ZOFOA III of Babungo Fondom in northwestern Cameroon, and correspondent Edwin Moki.
கருத்து முரண்பாடுகளும் கையாளும் விதமும்மவ்லவி S.H.M. இஸ்மாயில் ஸலஃபி | Ismail Salafi16-05-2025, JummaUsman Bin Affan Jumua Masjid, Sri Lanka
Despite Conflicts in Asia, a Neighborhood in Queens Stays Harmonius by Uptown Radio
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Kyle is joined by Ryan Fowler of the Draft Network to go over the Commanders Schedule release, what his favorite matchup of the Season is, and his projection for the Rookies contributions this season. Then hes joined by Arif Hasan to hear his thoughts on Washington vs the NFC East, the Draft Class, and what will happen with Trey Hendrickson!!Support the show
What if friendship—not romance, not marriage—were the central relationship in your life?That's the question Rhaina Cohen asks in her book The Other Significant Others. And wow, do we love this book. David, TJ, and Elena sat down with Rhaina to talk about what it would mean to build a life around deep, committed friendship—and why our current relationship hierarchy (romantic > everything else) might be due for a rethink.Once you start centering friendship, it starts disrupting many other assumptions. We talked about: what it looks like to live near your friends, how parenting could look different, what happens when friends make commitments, when other people don't recognize those commitments, and whether secular folks should borrow a few ideas from monks.Join us and—if you haven't already—go read the book!About Our GuestRhaina Cohen is an award-winning editor for the NPR documentary podcast Embedded and the author of the national bestseller, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center, which Trevor Noah described as "my new Bible." Her writing on social connection has appeared in The Atlantic, The New York Times, The Washington Post and has been supported by the National Endowment for the Humanities. Rhaina's recent TED talk on the untapped potential of friendship has been viewed more than half a million times. She lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband and close friends.—★ Timestamps(00:00) Why we were excited to interview Rhaina Cohen(04:17) Rhaina Cohen: "Reimagining life with friendship at the center"(10:27) Deconstruction and reconstruction: You can't be what you can't see(19:10) Live Near Friends(24:52) Conflicts in friendships: needing language, recognition(28:29) Parenting doesn't have to be exhausting(37:00) Can we TEACH better relationship skills?(41:33) Covenant relationships: "You can be committed to someone and not be sleeping with them"(47:04) Would secular people benefit from monastic models?(55:03) What's next? Monogamy, marriage vows, and more(01:01:52) Recommended readings from Rhaina and more—★ Links and References“A Grand Experiment in Parenthood and Friendship” by Rhaina Cohen (The Atlantic, 2025)Live Near Friends: livenearfriends.comSuper Nuclear: supernuclear.substack.comPlatonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends by Marissa Franco (2022)Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections by Anna Goldfarb (2024):Stay True, a memoir by Hua Hsu (2023)First Love: Essays on Friendship by Lily Dancyger (2024)Invisibilia (NPR) series on friendship, especially: Nun of Us Are Friends, Esther Perel gives Therapy with FriendsFollow Rhaina: Related on Substack, @RhainaCohen on InstagramTJ's Story (New Kinship episode #6): “TJ's Story | Dysphoria, Queerness, Contextualization, and Conviction”—★ Send us feedback, questions, comments, or support!Email: communionandshalom@gmail.com | Instagram: @newkinship | Substack: @newkinship | Patreon: @newkinship—★ CreditsCreators and Hosts: David Frank, TJ Espinoza | Audio Engineer: Carl Swenson, carlswensonmusic.com | Podcast Manager: Elena F. | Graphic Designer: Gavin Popken, gavinpopkenart.com ★ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit newkinship.substack.com
Send us a textThe Valley & Summer HouseSummaryIn this episode, Wendy and Kelli discuss the latest developments in The Valley and Summerhouse, focusing on the tumultuous relationship between Jax and Brittany, Jax's struggles with addiction, and the impact of reality TV on personal lives. They explore the challenges of co-parenting with difficult partners, the dynamics of friendships within the cast, and the uncertain future of the show. Additionally, they highlight Lala's advocacy for animal rights and the importance of mental health discussions in the reality TV context. In this conversation, Wendy and Kelli delve into various themes surrounding mental health, relationships, and the dynamics of reality TV. They discuss the impact of depression, particularly in the context of public figures, and the importance of open dialogue about mental health. The conversation shifts to the fallout from rumors and the complexities of relationships, highlighting the narcissistic tendencies of certain individuals. They also explore the dynamics of friendships and alliances within the reality TV landscape, anticipating future drama and reunions. Overall, the discussion emphasizes the importance of understanding and navigating personal relationships while addressing mental health issues. In this episode, Wendy and Kelli delve into the latest happenings in the world of reality TV, focusing on the dynamics of 'Summerhouse' and the relationships among its cast members. They discuss the buzz surrounding various reality stars, the conflicts arising from misunderstandings, and the implications of the reunion seating chart. The conversation also touches on the future of reality TV and the excitement surrounding new shows.TakeawaysBrittany and Jax's relationship is strained due to Jax's addiction and past actions.Jax's behavior raises questions about his character and treatment of Brittany.The impact of reality TV on personal relationships can be significant.Co-parenting with difficult partners presents ongoing challenges.Friendship dynamics can shift dramatically in the context of reality TV.The future of the show is uncertain, with potential new directions.Lala's advocacy for animal rights reflects her personal growth.The importance of mental health discussions in the reality TV context.Jax's manipulative behavior is a recurring theme in the conversation.The role of social media in shaping public perception of reality TV stars. Depression can lead to isolation and silence.Open discussions about mental health are crucial.Rumors can significantly impact relationships.Narcissism often complicates interpersonal dynamics.Friendships can shift based on circumstances.Healing takes time and acceptance.Reality TV reflects real-life complexities.Anticipating drama can be part of the viewing experience.Understanding each other's struggles fosters empathy.The importance of supportive relationships in healing. The dynamics among reality stars can shift rapidly based on public perception.Conflicts often arise from misunderstandings and miscommunication.Jessie is identified as a central problem in the conflicts within Summerhouse.The seating chart for reunions can reflect the show's narrative focus.Fans are eager for new content and shows in the reality TV space.Reality TV is evolving, and some shows may be winding down.The importance of relationships and how they are portrayed on screen.Viewers are invested in the personal lives of reality stars.The buzz around reality stars can influence their public image.The future of reality TV remains uncertaiSupport the showhttps://www.wewinewhenever.com/
In 2010, the Association for Information Systems formed a special interest group () to nurture an international community of academics that study the role of digital technologies in fostering environmentally, economically and socially sustainable development. Fifteen years later, we sit down with , the current SIGGreen president, to reflect on the progress we have made. What do we know about how digital technologies help greening our planet? What efforts in empirical, theoretical, and design work is still needed? Is our role to understand the role of digital technologies or do we need to push and enact change ourselves? We conclude that environmental questions and problems are now firmly on the radar screen of our discipline but more work needs to be done for information systems academics to transform the way we think about and use digital technologies. Episode reading list Corbett, J., & Mellouli, S. (2017). 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Information Systems and Environmentally Sustainable Development: Energy Informatics and New Directions for the IS Community. MIS Quarterly, 34(1), 23-38. Elliot, S. (2011). Transdisciplinary Perspectives on Environmental Sustainability: A Resource Base and Framework for IT-Enabled Business Transformation. MIS Quarterly, 35(1), 197-236. Kahlen, M., Ketter, W., & van Dalen, J. (2018). Electric Vehicle Virtual Power Plant Dilemma: Grid Balancing Versus Customer Mobility. Production and Operations Management, 27(11), 2054-2070. Gholami, R., Watson, R. T., Hasan, H., Molla, A., & Bjørn-Andersen, N. (2016). Information Systems Solutions for Environmental Sustainability: How Can We Do More? Journal of the Association for Information Systems, 17(8), 521-536. Corbett, J., & El Idrissi, S. C. (2022). Persuasion, Information Technology, and the Environmental Citizen: An Empirical Study of the Persuasion Effectiveness of City Applications. Government Information Quarterly, 39(4), 101757. Degirmenci, K., & Recker, J. (2023). Breaking Bad Habits: A Field Experiment About How Routinized Work Practices Can Be Made More Eco-efficient Through IS for Sensemaking. Information & Management, 60(4), 103778. Zeiss, R., Ixmeier, A., Recker, J., & Kranz, J. (2021). Mobilising Information Systems Scholarship For a Circular Economy: Review, Synthesis, and Directions For Future Research. Information Systems Journal, 31(1), 148-183. Haudenosaunee Confederacy. (2025). Values. . The Stakeholder Alignment Collaborative. (2025). The Consortia Century: Aligning for Impact. Oxford University Press. Hovorka, D. and Corbett, J. (2012) IS Sustainability Research: A trans-disciplinary framework for a ‘grand challenge”. 33rd International Conference on Information Systems, Orlando, Florida. Hovorka, D. S., & Peter, S. (2021). Speculatively Engaging Future(s): Four Theses. MIS Quarterly, 45(1), 461-466. Gümüsay, A. A., & Reinecke, J. (2024). Imagining Desirable Futures: A Call for Prospective Theorizing with Speculative Rigour. Organization Theory, 5(1), . Kotlarsky, J., Oshri, I., & Sekulic, N. (2023). Digital Sustainability in Information Systems Research: Conceptual Foundations and Future Directions. Journal of the Association for Information Systems, 24(4), 936-952. Gray, P., Lyytinen, K., Saunders, C., Willcocks, L. P., Watson, R. T., & Zwass, V. (2006). How Shall We Manage Our Journals in the Future? A Discussion of Richard T. Watson's Proposals at ICIS 2004. Communications of the Association for Information Systems, 18(14), 2-41. Saldanha, T. J. V., Mithas, S., Khuntia, J., Whitaker, J., & Melville, N. P. (2022). How Green Information Technology Standards and Strategies Influence Performance: Role of Environment, Cost, and Dual Focus. MIS Quarterly, 46(4), 2367-2386. Leidner, D. E., Sutanto, J., & Goutas, L. (2022). Multifarious Roles and Conflicts on an Inter-Organizational Green IS. MIS Quarterly, 46(1), 591-608. 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First: Open conflict. The U.S. and China hold high stakes trade talks. And Trump gears up for a trip to the Middle East as he looks to cut deals and broker ceasefires. Can he rein in the crisis he pledged to solve? Plus: Resistance. As the Democratic Party struggles with a winning message. Congressman Raja Krishnamoorthi, just announced he's running for Senate, joins me live. And: Food fight. Republicans spar over Trump's so-called big, beautiful bill. Plus: My new reporting about whether one of the longest serving Senate moderates will run for reelection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Daily Power Affirmations for your Creative Maniac Mind (in 60 Seconds)
Click here to Shop Affirmation Decks, Oracle Decks, and more! Use Promo code: RCPODCAST20 for 20% off your first order! Today's Power Affirmation: I overcome all conflicts that try to poison my moments. Today's Oracle of Motivation: Should you turn the alarm clock off and sleep instead of getting up early and working out? Should you give the checkout clerk a wedgie for putting cream in your coffee when you asked for black? Will you let the meltdown of your current situation paralyze you so you never create again? Hell Nah! You are a conflict assassin, and you have the power to take it on the chest, deal with it like a boss, and accelerate your sweet-ass life! You are in charge of all outcomes. Choose wisely! Designed to Motivate Your Creative Maniac Mind The 60-Second Power Affirmations Podcast is designed to help you focus, affirm your visions, and harness the power within your creative maniac mind! Join us every Monday and Thursday for a new 60-second power affirmation followed by a blast of oracle motivation from the Universe (+ a quick breathing meditation). It's time to take off your procrastination diaper and share your musings with the world! For more musings, visit RageCreate.com Leave a Review & Share! Apple Podcast reviews are one of THE most important factors for podcasts. If you enjoy the show, please take a second to leave the show a review on Apple Podcasts! Click this link: Leave a review on Apple Podcasts Hit “Listen on Apple Podcasts” on the left-hand side under the picture. Scroll down under “Ratings & Reviews” & click “Write A Review” Leave an honest review. You're awesome!
Jessie Jane Duff joins Marc Cox to analyze major global developments from a conservative perspective. She discusses the US-China trade deal and its potential to bring jobs back to America, as well as the broader economic impact and media responses. Duff addresses ongoing Middle East conflicts, including the hostage crisis in Gaza and criticism of university protests, and shares her thoughts on the Russia-Ukraine war and its devastating casualty levels. The conversation also explores recent court rulings on transgender military service and debates surrounding mission readiness. Duff concludes with concerns about the escalating India-Pakistan conflict and global instability.
The National Security Hour with LTC Sargis Sangari USA (Ret.) – Today, the conflict has manifested itself in the internal political struggle taking place in the United States and the strategic battle occurring between the East and the West, from Panama to Ukraine to India and Pakistan. Conflicts such as the tariff wars intensify to see who can hold serve in this fight. Join us for this vital discussion to...
The National Security Hour with LTC Sargis Sangari USA (Ret.) – Today, the conflict has manifested itself in the internal political struggle taking place in the United States and the strategic battle occurring between the East and the West, from Panama to Ukraine to India and Pakistan. Conflicts such as the tariff wars intensify to see who can hold serve in this fight. Join us for this vital discussion to...
This is a VERY SPECIAL EPISODE, with my bff from middle and high school! Is bff still a thing, or just for kids of the 80s and 90s? If it's the latter and you “get it,” then you'll enjoy this episode even more because not only do we get into truly fascinating and engaging insights on holistic health, but we sprinkle in some 90s and high school references. In fact, the last 1/3 or so of the episode is just some of my favorite funny stories from youth, in which Michelle played a vital role. In addition to being a dear friend, Michelle Doel is also a National Board-Certified Functional Medicine Health Coach and the founder of Vertical Horizons, a teen wellness company dedicated to empowering adolescents to take charge of their mental, physical, and emotional health. In this episode, we explore the profound impacts of nutrition and mindset on overall health, with a special focus on gut health, stress reappraisal, and teen wellness. Michelle shares her inspiring journey from battling gut dysbiosis to empowering teens and athletes through holistic health practices. Discover actionable tips for improving skin health without conventional medicine, managing stress, and fostering resilience in young athletes. Plus, at the end we share those light-hearted moments reminiscing about high school days, quirky stories, and some fun algebra trivia. Be prepared to smile, laugh, and learn how to elevate your soul through holistic wellness. Resources: Explore Michelle's services: https://www.theteenhealthcoach.com Get Kara's book: https://www.karagoodwin.com/book Timestamp: 00:00 Introduction and Host's Personal Note 00:48 Introducing the Special Guest: Michelle Doel 01:56 Michelle's Expertise in Holistic Health 02:33 Kara's Upcoming Book Announcement 03:06 Reunion and Nostalgia 05:29 Michelle's Journey into Holistic Wellness 14:37 The Importance of Gut Health 23:40 Stress Reappraisal and Mindset 36:08 Case Studies and Success Stories 44:03 High School Memories and Personal Stories 44:40 The Car Wreck Story 47:41 June 9th Conflicts 50:35 Algebra Memories 54:00 Singing Talents and Family 01:01:50 The Mural and Nutrition 01:06:20 Regenerative Farming Dreams 01:15:28 Conclusion and Reflections
Tune in live every weekday Monday through Friday from 9:00 AM Eastern to 10:15 AM.Buy our NFTJoin our DiscordCheck out our TwitterCheck out our YouTubeDISCLAIMER: You should never treat any opinion expressed by the hosts of this content as a recommendation to make a particular investment, or to follow a particular strategy. The thoughts and commentary on this show are an expression of the hosts' opinions and are for entertainment & informational purposes only.
Mr and Mrs Therapy | Trauma, PTSD, Communication, Anxiety, Depression, EMDR, Marriage, Mental Health
We want to work with YOU! 15 Minute Free Consultation Start healing now! Set up a Coaching Session Welcome back to Mr. and Mrs. Therapy, the podcast that delves into turning life's challenges into avenues for growth and healthier connections. In this episode, your hosts, licensed marriage and family therapists Tim and Ruth Olson, delve into the dynamics of communication within relationships, particularly focusing on recurring conflicts. Are you and your partner repeatedly arguing over seemingly trivial issues like chores or phone usage? Tim and Ruth unravel the true nature of these conflicts, revealing that beneath the surface lies a deeper story or unmet emotional need. Together, they guide listeners through recognizing when they're arguing over the 'surface' and how to identify the underlying 'story' that fuels these debates. The episode provides practical steps to pause, reflect, and communicate effectively, transforming potential arguments into opportunities for understanding and connection. By examining real-life examples and offering strategies to reframe conversations, Tim and Ruth empower couples to explore and address the emotional narratives that impact their relationships. Whether you're winding down from a long day or navigating through emotional storytelling, join the conversation that encourages healing, empathy, and lasting love. [Remember, our podcast is here to spark conversations and offer insights. Join our community on our Mr. and Mrs. Therapy Podcast Group, share your experiences at podcast@mrandmrstherapy.com, and if you're seeking more personalized advice, consider booking your free coaching consultation. Please note, this podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment.] {Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to provide diagnosis or treatment. For personalized support, please seek professional help or call the National Suicide Hotline at 988 if you or someone you know is contemplating suicide or needs emotional support.}
What Is A Main Source Of Conflict In Your Home?
Kyle Anzalone joins the show again to go over all the latest developments related to Gaza. They start with the aid ships in the Mediterranean en route to Gaza that appear to have been attacked by a drone. They then take a broader look at the state of things in the strip, take stock of the ongoing level of US support for Israel's campaign, piece together Israel's plans for the people of Gaza, reflect on what happened to the ceasefire deal and more. Discussed on the show: “Smotrich: Israel Will Stop Fighting Once ‘Hundreds of Thousands' of Palestinians Are Removed from Gaza” (Antiwar.com) “Israeli Soldiers in Gaza Used 80-Year-Old as Human Shield Before Killing Him and His Wife” (Antiwar.com) Kyle Anzalone is news editor of the Libertarian Institute, opinion editor of Antiwar.com, co-host of Conflicts of Interest and host of The Kyle Anzalone Show. Follow him on Twitter @KyleAnzalone_ This episode of the Scott Horton Show is sponsored by: Roberts and Roberts Brokerage Incorporated; Moon Does Artisan Coffee; Tom Woods' Liberty Classroom; Libertas Bella; ExpandDesigns.com/Scott. Get Scott's interviews before anyone else! Subscribe to the Substack. Shop Libertarian Institute merch or donate to the show through Patreon, PayPal or Bitcoin: 1DZBZNJrxUhQhEzgDh7k8JXHXRjY Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Download Episode. Kyle Anzalone joins the show again to go over all the latest developments related to Gaza. They start with the aid ships in the Mediterranean en route to Gaza that appear to have been attacked by a drone. They then take a broader look at the state of things in the strip, take stock of the ongoing level of US support for Israel's campaign, piece together Israel's plans for the people of Gaza, reflect on what happened to the ceasefire deal and more. Discussed on the show: “Smotrich: Israel Will Stop Fighting Once ‘Hundreds of Thousands' of Palestinians Are Removed from Gaza” (Antiwar.com) “Israeli Soldiers in Gaza Used 80-Year-Old as Human Shield Before Killing Him and His Wife” (Antiwar.com) Kyle Anzalone is news editor of the Libertarian Institute, opinion editor of Antiwar.com, co-host of Conflicts of Interest and host of The Kyle Anzalone Show. Follow him on Twitter @KyleAnzalone_ This episode of the Scott Horton Show is sponsored by: Roberts and Roberts Brokerage Incorporated; Moon Does Artisan Coffee; Tom Woods' Liberty Classroom; Libertas Bella; ExpandDesigns.com/Scott. Get Scott's interviews before anyone else! Subscribe to the Substack. Shop Libertarian Institute merch or donate to the show through Patreon, PayPal or Bitcoin: 1DZBZNJrxUhQhEzgDh7k8JXHXRjY
The MOVE token collapse sparked one of the most damning investigations in the industry this year. In this episode of Unchained, investigative journalist Sam Kessler joins Laura Shin to walk through the contracts, questionable market-making deals, and finger pointing inside Movement Labs. From Binance's ban to a Trump-affiliated crypto deal, this story unearths how the MOVE token collapse was the product of what looks like a pump-and-dump plan written out in legal contracts. Plus: How insiders structured deals to profit from artificial price spikes How this could have happened with a project backed by some of crypto's most reputable VCs What this saga says about token launches, regulation, and market integrity And whether Movement Labs can (or should) be trusted to investigate itself Visit our website for breaking news, analysis, op-eds, articles to learn about crypto, and much more: unchainedcrypto.com FalconX Bitkey: Use code UNCHAINED for 20% off Mantle Sam Kessler, Deputy Managing Editor for Tech and Protocols at CoinDesk CoinDesk: Inside Movement's Token-Dump Scandal: Secret Contracts, Shadow Advisers and Hidden Middlemen Trading for MOVE will be suspended on Coinbase Timestamps: