Be Your Own Damn Muse

I've been racking my brain for a phrase to compete with my favorite "Wellbutrin Wins," to similarly describe my experience with the anti-depressant Lexapro.Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant medication I started a year and a half ago, helped quiet some of the constant panic and terror I felt about every day living. It also helped tune out my sense of everyone else's feelings and needs, so I could better center around my own.Six months later, I worked with my psychiatrist to add Lexapro to the mix. It helped me land in my body, with my thoughts and emotions still vibrant and swirling around me, but no longer sweeping me away.  In this podcast, I talk about situational depression ( 3 months of shoulder pain!), and seasonal depression (bitterly cold and early dark days of winter) crashing together to leave me thinking... "Why Monday?"I don't know that medication will benefit everyone who needs it and tries it. But I do know that it still feels incredibly shameful and scary to talk about needing mental health support. And this keeps people who could benefit greatly from it from even considering it.Depression and anxiety are already such incredibly lonely experiences. And help - whether medication, therapy, exercise, or a combination thereof - can take time to kick in. Staying committed to getting better, when everything already feels so hard, is a true act of courage.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Medical trauma. Suuuuuuuuuuper fun topic, right?I'm (obvi) not a doctor, and this isn't an official diagnosis. Or expert advice.This is one long-running patient who is processing the (unknown, unseen) mental health effects of repeated surgeries and endless doctors who can't find anything wrong.It takes a toll.As I prepare myself for shoulder surgery - my third (!!) - this week, I've been processing some medical trauma (again: undiagnosed. And I recognize the term trauma gets thrown around a lot lately, but I do think it applies here. And it is a useful framework for understanding my reaction to the upcoming procedure.)I kept thinking it must be severe anxiety, or total overwhelm, but the truth is I'm an expert planner, and once I knew we were doing this, I was ready. Logistically, at least.Ready with frozen meals and button down shirts and post op meds.Yet I found myself checking out at random intervals. Feeling both this desperate need to run and this panicked sensation of being frozen in place.This was not a reaction to the upcoming surgery.This was a reaction to past unprocessed traumatic experiences.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

As a girl who lives by her to do list... I find the idea of surrender extremely uncomfortable.How am I supposed to trust that the work I am doing, the work I am putting out into the world, the people I am meeting and connecting with - that it will all lead to the kinds of roles I want to play, and stories I want to tell?I am not good with things I can't control.This week I'm sharing about how I am rethinking the idea of surrender. So it doesn't reflect a lack of agency, but rather an amplification of my creative spark.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Loneliness is not being seen as we are.Not being accepted for who we are.Loneliness also gets created when we feel forced to hide who we are.Art is about learning to express the full range of who we are.And - learning to withstand that not everyone will understand or approve.In that way, Art is about learning to know ourselves.To approve of ourselves.To come home to ourselves. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

As artists, we have brilliant imaginations that we put to compelling use.Those imaginations can create bright fantasies, and irresistible dramas.When we use them on ourselves, we can daydream about awards and recognition, reaching a wider audience, creating greater impact. Or we can tell a story of defeat, of impossible odds, of a world against us and no way up.Sometimes, often, we tell both.And as entertaining as they are, they can be debilitating. If we craft a story that strips away our agency, that make us a victim, that carries no future.So - what kind of stories are you telling about yourself?Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I live in a constant state of panic of being behind. Behind in being 'discovered' as an artist.Behind in being established in my creative career.Behind in the traditional female pressures of marriage, kids, the house with the white picket fence.I wake up with this incredible pressure to catch up, as though everyone else started life ahead of me, and I'm still trying to get to the beginning of things. It's another flavor of my anxiety, I'm sure, and it manifests in my starting - and abandoning - creative projects. I'm always convinced the other project, the one I'm not doing, is the one I should be doing RIGHT NOW.So I stop, and switch.And immediately become convinced that no, actually, that was the one I should be working on.All of which leads to paralysis. And total shut down.And no projects brought to completion. And, in the grand paradox of things, my panic leading to the exact thing I fear most.That I'm letting time slip away without creating. This week I share about that pressure, how I'm working with it, and what I'm actively choosing to start practicing believing instead. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Creativity is cyclical, like the seasons.We cannot produce all the time. We must make time to rest.But in a culture that prizes productivity and output above all else, how do we allow for the time and space? Thinking of rest as part of the cycle of creation allows me to indulge fully, to trust that I am resourcing and gathering ideas and fresh energy for the next bout of creative expression.It allows me to honor my own internal rhythms, whether or not (most often not!) they conform to the rhythms of society, of the calendar year, or of my own expectations. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

We are witnessing new climate disasters every day, and it can be hard to wonder the point of creativity, of making anything, when the world around us is in such peril.But art is how we process what is happening, digest it, and find new meaning in it.Art is also how we dream of a better future. It's how we inspire each other to keep going. How we amplify a vision of living in community and respect for each other and our planet. It takes real imagination to see the potential of humans to solve all of these problems we've created. It's much much easier to sink into despair.So put your creativity to good use, and help change the stories we tell about who we are, and who we could be. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I imagine all humans struggle with rage - there is certainly ample reason to be angry in this world.Just the act of being human requires loving people, losing people. Having your heart broken, being rejected. Getting sick, watching your body deteriorate (if you're lucky.)These are all incredibly difficult things, for which there is no one to yell at. No one to blame.So the rage, that deep sense of loss and frustration and powerlessness, needs a form of expression.This is where creativity meets us.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Fresh from the Lighthouse International Film Festival (at the Jersey beach!!), for the premiere of my short film How to Pack Up Your Life in One Day, and still dizzy from the red carpets, the phenomenal filmmakers, the profound screenings. I've been thinking how these moments of celebration - our crew gathering, our friends thrilled, an audience applauding - are such highs in the journey. Such an external reminder that the work is good, that it matters, that it belongs.But what do you know in between?How do you celebrate all the unseen work - the submissions to festivals, the revising of scripts, the long nights editing, the hours of practice?I have some ideas. And one especially goofy one that I hope delights you, and inspires you.xPssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

It can be as simple as sitting on the floor...Remember when you used to watch TV and do homework lying on your stomach, propped up on your elbows? Remember how solid the ground felt? How long your body felt? How big the room from that angle?Did you ever lie on your bed, head pointed toward the foot, legs up against the wall? How many different ways did you used to look at the world? And when did it become only proper to sit in a chair, and see the whole of you life from one point of view?Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've been taking a screenwriting class where the main exercise has been to copy brilliant scripts that have already been made into award-winning films and TV shows.Page by page, word for word, type the exact dialogue, action lines, character descriptions.When the teacher mentioned this I immediately thought "ah ha!" Why didn't I think of that? I've done it in so many other formats. Studying novels to refine my writing. Learning cover songs to understand melody and harmony and rhythm. Rehearsing salsa shines until the basic patterns are ingrained. Artists used to learn through apprenticeship. Taking time to perfect the style of the masters who came before. It's the best way to know how to break those rules. You have to know what the structure of your medium is, before you can figure out how your unique voice will shine in it.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

When we talk about making small changes, one challenge is that it can be hard to see progress. Small wins add up to big wins - but slowly. Enter the habit tracker. A way to stay accountable to yourself on the commitments you've made. Writing. Playing music. Painting. Journaling.It can be as simple as a small calendar, with a box for each day of the month. Check off the days you showed up for your art. Leave the rest blank. (There are lots of beautiful ones you can find on Etsy, that you can color in over the month to create artwork out of your successes.)Now comes the hard part. Looking at the data. And not using it against yourself.Not beating yourself up for the days missed. But rather celebrating the days achieved. Getting curious about when you fell off. Asking quality questions about what got in the way. Deciding to tweak your systems - a different time, an accountability group, a pomodoro session, sticker rewards - and collect more data. Rinse, repeat. Keep refining the process, keep discovering what makes you tick, what draws the art forth. What makes you joyful in your work. Where you find satisfaction.Letting failure be your greatest teacher, and not a definition of your character.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

With all my recent travels, I've gotten to examine my deep anxieties about traveling, my overwhelming desire for it to be over, to have already arrived.I'm learning that the not knowing what will be, the inability to anticipate and solve problems that have not yet materialized, make it excrutiating to venture forth.The same applies to creativity.Not knowing where an opportunity will lead, who will control the final product, what compromises I might need to make... all of these worries keep me from stepping into the unknown.I recently (attempted) to drive through a snowstorm. (I severely underestimated Canadian winters!) What I learned in watching myself navigate the unknown, in real time, is a lesson I'd like to take into my creative projects.Learning to trust myself.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Did you know that January 19 is known as Quit Day for New Year's Resolutions?Why do we do this to ourselves?Why do we continue to believe that we can make grand declarations one day that will magically transform who we are and how we live our lives starting the next?This week I'm talking about the power of small changes and tiny wins. How change truly works, and what it takes to make it happen. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Hello my friends!!Been diving back into my TV pilot script, and took some advice from writers and filmmakers I admire that I heard a while ago - that most of the "writing" isn't actually writing, and most certainly doesn't happen at a desk.Creativity needs movement, and problem solving is best done on your feet. Which is how I found myself this week, walking home with groceries in hand (I forgot to bring my reusable bag), my fingers freezing from the cold (it's winter in Quebec City!), talking to myself out loud about the 7 point story structure of my script, and which points I could strengthen.Now ~ as in all things I do, this was an extreme version. But I did find it so freeing to walk and talk to myself (you could do it in your head) about the script. I've always been a problem solver, and I think best on my feet.In fact, at my office job, back when we had offices ~ I never kept a garbage can at my desk, because every time I had to get up to throw something out in the break room, my mind got to mull over a problem I was struggling with. And usually by the time I sat down again, the pieces had reorganized in my brain and I was seeing them in a new light.So my invitation this week is to take your creativity on a walk with you. And if you're scrambling with a long holiday to do list, then grab the 5 minutes walking home with groceries, or wrapping gifts, or doing dishes. There are so many places where we can return our minds to the stories we're trying to tell, and tease out the next missing link.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Your feelings are chemical sensations rushing through your body. We often get locked in trying to analyze and argue with our thoughts, but there is another process that be incredibly healing - feeling your feelings.In this episode, I practice tuning into my body and describing the sensations of my feelings - and in so doing, allow them to process and settle within my system.As someone used to resisting all her emotions, and always turning to her brain to fix her feelings, this is new territory for me.I offer it here as an added skill for your toolbox.The more you can feel your feelings as physical sensations, the more you can drop into your body's incredible, innate creativity. This is the place from which so many of our stories can - and need - to be told.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

The allure of travel has always been that over there, things will be better. We will have more fun; be more fun. We get to drop the burdens we carry when we travel, enamored with new places, shedding our old stories and trying on new versions of ourselves.This works in large part for vacations - those one or two week sprints where you take off from your 'real' life to explore somewhere new. It's like the first flush of new love, where everything is golden and you are the best version of yourself.But when you have made traveling your 'real' life, then the 'real' you eventually catches up with you. And you get to see - so clearly - all the stories you carry about who you are, the identities you take on, the hurts you still hold, the self doubts that get in your way. It's the same with success. We think - if I get that book published, that film made, that music released - I will be happy. A bright shiny new version of myself. But wherever you go, there you are. Even in travel, even in success. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Sometimes the only thing to do in worst of times, is to share it, in hopes it helps someone, sometime, somewhere.So sharing this before I lose my nerve...Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've created lots of rules for adventuring for myself over the years.  Try a new coffee shop a day.  Taste test all the burger joints in a new town.  Ways to turn the overwhelm of being in a whole new place with no anchors into a million little games. The beauty of gamification is it takes all the pressure off. There is no need to have "the most amazing experience." I'm trying to figure out how to bring the same sense of adventure, where getting lost always leads to the most unexpected discoveries - to my creative projects, where I still put so much pressure on myself to know into the future how everything will turn out. Where I'm fighting the engrained desire to be perfect, to deliver what I think others want, to know what it will all mean in the end.Which, ironically, is the opposite of creativity. Those pressures are one way we stifle our own creative impulses, because they are always a launch into the unknown. A surrender to the unseen. An act of faith. Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've launched on an adventure that is equal parts terrifying and exciting, so my brother and I came up with a new word for it: terrixcited.We wanted to capture how doing the absolute right next thing sometimes also leaves you shaking. I also talk about what I learned from Cheryl Strayed's advice "not to let your dreams ruin your life."And what it is to break out of the binary of artist/ non artist, and decide your entire life is an artistic creation.Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Been thinking a lot about what made it so hard to come back from the pause I took on this podcast... amidst many physical & mental health reasons, I also battled my perfectionism. This deep fear that nothing that wasn't perfect, scrubbed clean of all my flaws, could ever be presented to the world.In an age where everything is monetized - even, maybe especially, our communities and our connections - it feels increasingly difficult to do something messily. To do something before I'm good at it - in order to get better at it. To be public with my imperfections. To create something not to be sold, not to cultivate an impressive following. To follow the desire to express myself without knowing where it will lead me.This feels like the opposite of capitalism, which in our American culture has turned every instinct, every hobby, every human need - even creativity and connection - into something whose sole purpose is to make money.And I end up grappling with the "purpose" of creating if I can't show on a Profit & Loss statement its value.  Worth has become defined by productivity, and by monetary compensation.How do we reclaim the human imperative to tell our stories? To dance, to sing, to write and perform, to paint and cross-stitch, to build and to garden? Now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Sharing where I've been, and what it took to come back to the pod. How I've been struggling with my physical health ~ and my mental health ~ and how it took turning to a psychiatrist and asking for medication to get me back to myself.And how finally being well-medicated has breathed new hope into my life. If you've been struggling, or know someone who has... I want you to know that you are not alone. And that there are lots of ways to ask for help. Also now on YouTube !Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Being extra brave today and pulling back the curtain to share how I've dipped into a depression lately. Depression is something I've struggled with since college, but weirdly, I've never identified as depressed. I've always thought of it more as an anomaly, a aberrant condition I needed to fix.And I have devoted A LOT of time to "fixing" it.This week, I've been trying something new. I've been trying to allow for the depression. To hear it, without necessarily believing all it has to say. To make space for it, without needing to scrub it clean from my system.To not have to wait until the depression is "fixed" until I can be a creative - until I can record my podcast, or work on my TV pilot, or do some actor marketing.What is it to invite this indigo blue of my depression into my work, rather than desperately trying to escape it?What would it look like to ... dare I say ... befriend it?  ******If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)  Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

My final rant on the absurdity of "New Year, New You," comes from the discovery that as I get older, the goal becomes less and less to become some other, "better" version of me. Instead, I'm constantly trying to remember and return to my forgotten 10-year old self,  who was bullied for being weird.And I was. Totally weird.(Still am!)But that same weirdness is the thing that feeds my creativity, and all my best sparks are in that weirdness.What I want most for all of us is a chance to return to our original selves.To tap into that heart and naiveté and oddball of our pre-adolescent selves.And find our tribe - there.  The people who cackle with us, whose eyes twinkle at our devious plans, who want to join the roller coaster of our wild imaginings.******If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)  Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Returning to the podcast in 2022, with my own outsized expectations - that got neatly destroyed by a Covid infection and weeks of recovery - has me thinking deeply about who do we actually want to be this year?New Year, New You is brilliant marketing that shames us into thinking we need to be wholly different versions of ourselves on January 1st, in order to be worthy.I say f*ck you to January expectations. I say, if you're still standing, after two years of this pandemic, after the chronic anxiety, the isolation, the exhaustion, all the cancelled plans, abandoned travels, lost jobs, lost opportunities, lost friends and loved ones -- if you are still standing (or hell, sitting) in 2022 -- then Huzzah. You win. No apologies for what it took to make it through 2021.  Let's instead look at how waiting for version 2.0 of you is keeping you from showing up in your life -- and in your creative practices - right now.  Let's figure out how to human in this world, in this moment in time.Rather than waiting for everything to be better -- for us to be better -- so that we can find joy and connection and make art.  ******If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)  Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

There's new research that shows the pain centers of the brain light up from humiliation in the same way they would from a physical injury. So much so, that a dose of Advil or Tylenol has been proven to reduce the pain of the emotional injury. Mind. Blown.As I'm teaching myself to play the guitar, I'm getting a front row seat to the experience of being bad at something. And though I know -- I know! -- that we can only get good at things by first being bad at them, I think we skip over the fact that the felt experience of sucking at something feels physically painful.So if sitting down to write your novel, or start a new painting, or picking up a guitar, feels like sticking your hand in fire -- it's no wonder we're not all rushing to do it.If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)  Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I was obsessed with fairness when I was a kid. I hated the idea that some people had more than others. I thought certainly there must be some way to balance the scales, and make things good for everyone. While I still believe we must work toward a more equitable world, I am coming to learn that life is random and cruel, as much as it is beautiful and breathtaking.And we all have things to grieve. Losses, disappointments, heart breaks. Our desire to believe that things can be better -- will be better - can be used as an escape from feeling the truth of what has been lost.And holding to that fantasy of a guaranteed, better future, makes it impossible to be present to what is true now. And nothing can be created if we are not here, in our present moment.So, let us begin with grief.If you're suffering, or having a hard time right now, I see you.That sucks. It's not fair. I'm sorry.And if you're feeling like the struggles you're going through are pulling you away from the opportunity to create, I see that too.That sucks. It's not fair. I'm sorry. If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography) Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Remembering one of my early acting teachers, who thought anything that wasn't performance was just doing laundry and buying groceries, and in essence a waste of life.I always wondered whether that was part of made him such a charming curmudgeon. Which worked for him, but was not a fate I wanted for myself. Stealing from Jack Kornfield's book, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry, I talk this week about what it is to not disdain all the mundanity of life's activities, but rather to see the magic of creation in them. If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography) Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I picked up a novel on a recent trip (love me a good airport bookstore!!), and as I was digging into the story I found myself intimated by the very idea of ever writing one of my one (a definite creative goal of mine.)And that had me comparing the lessons of screenwriting - something I've done, and can wrap my head around - with novel writing - something that terrifies me and seems completely foreign to me.As I've just started a writing course to develop a new TV series, I could compare the ways in which the two are actually quite similar. A project never begins with a blank page. It always starts in conversations with your characters: writing about their most embarrassing Middle School memory, their most brutal college heartbreak, the last fight they had with their mom.The blank page only feels blank when there's been no fleshing out of the world that will never even exist on that page.Scaffolding is everything.You have to invest in a ton of prep work - and know some good tools - before you get to the first line of the first page, the first stroke of paint across canvas, the opening chords of your next song.   If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography) Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've missed you!I've been deep in the weeds, trying to get a proper diagnosis for my chronic stomach pain, and then testing new medicines (that frustratingly, made me feel even worse:/)I talk this week about needing bandwith to be creative, and how illness -- or anxiety and depression -- can take up so much residence in our minds that it's hard to do anything else. And I also talk about how the very thing that sustains us -- being creative -- is the first to go, when we have to fight to pay for medical bills, have a roof over our heads, or groceries to feed us.And how, paradoxically, creativity needs a healthy body to sustain it. As much as I looooove living in my head, the ideas and dreams and stories I want to share can only be felt if I live wholly in my body -- feeling the good, the bad, and the ugly. If you're struggling with making time or space for your creative practice, I hear you. I'd love to connect. Come find me on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography) Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've always had a hard time taking vacations. I always worry I haven't done enough. That I'm losing time on completing the Great Work, on making my mark on the world.This week, I'm sharing advice from the NY Times column Cultural Therapist, where the writer answered a reader's question about whether it's too late in life to begin a creative endeavor. And the columnist's advice was that the source of creativity is worrying less about time, and wasting it as though you were young and did not know it would ever run out. Such a neat trick, for making art, and for living. And I realized in recording this episode that I cherish weekends and their unstructured time, because that's often when I'm most restless to create. To write a script or work on a song or dig into acting prep. There's something about the boredom of having space and time that brings forth that deep need to create.So now I'm trying to figure out how to apply that same freedom to the larger question of my life, of the span of my career. How do I remove the pressure to be known, to be seen, to be important? If you have answers, please do come share them. I'm on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.Can I Hold Out Hope That My Best Creative Years Are Still to Come?~ Ligaya Mishan writing for The New York Times on August 9, 2021 (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography) Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I *hate* talking about my battle with my mysterious, chronic illness  because I end up feeling so helpless and frustrated. But I'm sharing about it today because I'm seeing trends in how I think about the endless doctor visits and how I think about auditions and the creative journey. It is my sincere hope that none of you deal with chronic illness. But even if you don't, life is often a series of long slogs and little wins, so this episode applies. Taking a page from writer & activist Glennon Doyle, who calls quitting "her favorite thing," I discuss Glennon's idea that the only way to keep showing up every day for the work that matters is to care the most in the morning, and not at all by the end of the day. Then sleep and begin again. I'd love to hear from you on whether quitting is a source of rest and resourcing, or a place of defeat and despair. And where you get the strength to get up and do the good hard work.Come chat me up on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.Amid Rising Violence in Afghanistan, Women are Exceedingly Vulnerable — Here's How to Help~ Chanel Vargas writing for PopSugar on August 16, 2021QUITTING: When is it time to let something or someone go? ~ We Can Do Hard Things podcast with Glennon Doyle(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I've been getting updates from my podcast publisher Buzzsprout that people are listening and holy hell -- that means I'm panicking (of course!). So interesting to watch my brain think I better step up and make this thing good, rather than thinking I must be doing something right.I talk about my deep fear of offending people, and how I want to control at all times how I'm perceived. Which, of course, is anathema to being an artist. If the goal is to be engaging, to generate strong reactions in others, to spark conversation and connection, then how do I get out of my own way? If you have answers, I'm all ears.Come chat me up on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC. Jason Bateman Helped Justin Theroux "Keep Sane" While Becoming Super Famous When Dating Jennifer Aniston~ Emily Kirkpatrick for Vanity Fair on April 23, 2021 (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Kicking off this week's episode talking about a subject I usually avoid - my chronic battle with GI issues. It's not something I like to dwell on, but often lately, as I try to heal, I've been feeling worse more days than not. So I'm working on showing up when I'd rather curl up in bed, and pushing through some of the bad days.(I say this in full consideration of Simone Biles' bravery in NOT pushing through at the Tokyo Olympics recently. I believe we all have to be experts in when to stop and rest and guard our health, both physical and mental.)Today's topic then turns to discovering where you do your best work. Is it a noisy coffee shop? A quiet library? A dance studio dedicated to your choreography? A light filled room that holds your paint supplies and canvases? Is it a local park, or your rooftop?I'd love to hear your tried and true creative spaces -- and what new ones you're experimenting with. Come chat me up on Instagram @SamGarlandNYC.  Also consider:Cave DayA place to gather with other creatives for deep focus work sessions facilitated daily on Zoom The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles ~ Steven Pressfield What if Remote Work Didn't Mean Working From Home~ Cal Newport for The New Yorker on May 21, 2021(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

This week, I came back from time off visiting family to a backlog of things I haven't done slamming me in the face (the bathroom needs cleaning! the day job has deadlines! two auditions need taping!!!!).So I drew inspiration from Anne Lamott's  classic book on writing, Bird by Bird, in which she ruminates on  the constant struggle to stay present in our work, and to not let fear and anxiety keep us from putting pen to paper. Pulling from Anne's recent podcast interview with Tim Ferris,  where she talks about her sobriety, had me thinking about the lessons of staying present that we can learn from the 12 steps that apply to the great uncertainties of being an artist.  I'd love to hear from you over on Instagram at SamGarlandNYC.Anne Lamott on Taming Your Inner Critic, Finding Grace, and Prayer~ as interviewed by Tim FerrissSandra Bullock goes to rehab in 28 Days, one of my favorite films. (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

My perfectionism has roared back to life this week, leading me to pause and ask why. I realized that feeling unstable in some personal aspects of my life has me trying to clamp down and control my creative projects -- in an attempt to recover a sense of safety. So I talk this week about how catching our patterns can be an invitation to do the work: teaching our lizard brain that we're safe, that we've got this, that we can take risks and survive.I've also started dipping my toes back into a writing project, developing an idea for a short form TV project. Working off a compelling visual -- but not much else -- I created a way to sit down and face the blank page. By making a list of all the things I do not know.  I'm also talking in this episode about Quality Questions. How our brains are built to find answers to whatever we ask them. And how we can use that to our advantage. Would love to hear how you're tackling (or avoiding!) your latest creative projects. Come chat me up on Instagram at @SamGarlandNYC.****Sharing here this powerful resource exploring the abolition movement, which has greatly informed my own antiracism education & activism:The Emerging Movement for Police and  Prison AbolitionMariame Kaba, a New York City-based activist and organizer, is at the center of an effort to “build up another world.”~  Keeanga-Yamahtta Taylor The New Yorker on May 7, 2021(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Back from vacation and confronting what makes it hard to jump back into our creative practices after a break.And then I dive into hacking your brain with stickers. Yes, stickers. Those beautiful little suckers can light up your brain with dopamine, and so gifting yourself with them when you've completed a creative task helps your brain associate pleasure with work.Do that enough times, and your brain starts to crave the work.And if you're not gaga for stickers... tell me, what does excite you?Seriously, I want to know. Come find me on Instagram at @SamGarlandNYC. (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

I'm sharing my slightly embarrassing, yet totally unapologetic, crush on Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex. Her dedication to women's rights, her lifelong commitment to philanthropy, to uplifting the voices of the underrepresented, her style and poise and grace under incredible circumstances... I could go on.Crushes - whether on celebrities or slightly cooler friends - can be wonderful fonts of inspiration. They become problematic when we see in them some better version of ourselves, and by comparison, make ourselves feel less than.A Golden Shadow is someone we look up to and then use against ourselves. When we feel not capable or ready to share our work, our vision, our voice - because we believe someone else is already doing it, and doing it better.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Procrastination has been kicking my ass lately, so that's what I'm talking about this week on the podcast.I started out recording my episodes weeks ahead of time, so I could do a sound edit, a transcription, create some cover art and write the show notes. I wanted time to not feel rushed or panicked. But then, slowly, I found myself recording later and later in the week. Until last week's episode, when I sat down at the mic at 1am, just hours before my publishing deadline.This is not how I want to show up for myself, or for you. Procrastination is such a ubiquitous experience that everyone almost takes it for granted. Like that's just who I am. That's just how I roll.This week I dive deep into why I think we're all putting off doing what we say matters most to us. I think this is incredibly important for artists especially. Because barring external deadlines - from a commission of your work, or a publisher who pre-bought your book - then the only deadlines you are accountable to are your own.And too often, that is not enough to override the procrastination habit.So I offer some insights into how procrastination is keeping you from facing what you really think, and how, with some gentle nudging, you can start to turn the tide on how you relate to yourself -- and your creative work.  If you're keen to experiment with showing up for yourself on time and explore what happens when you go against the comfort blanket of procrastination, I'd love to hear from you over on Instagram at SamGarlandNYC.Mentioned in this episode:. The Life Coach School podcast with Master Coach Brooke Castillo. Life Coach School podcast: Episode 250 Listener Lessons episode where Brooke Castillo discusses "what it means to take massive action and do B-minus work" (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

This week I apply lessons learned from my recent stint in physical therapy and my resistance to working out at home to the other big goals I have that I resist doing. Poking the Bear is a term I made up for doing the smallest unit of a huge scary thing, so you can step into the fears and anxiety in a manageable way and build capacity for the doing of the work. If the dream is to write a novel, but it's so overwhelming you can't even begin -- what's the smallest chunk that you can face? Is it a page? A chapter? The way to our dreams is always by uncovering the beliefs we hold about ourselves and our capacity. I also discuss  journaling, from morning pages to bullet journals, as another tool for exploring and uncovering your resistance, so you can get into alignment with your creativity and your work. I'd love to hear from you. Let's connect on IG at SamGarlandNYC !(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

The dreaded blank page. When faced with it, suddenly everything and anything else seems more appealing -- even household chores. For actors, facing a script can be further  intimidating. It's a blank page where someone else has already poured their heart and soul. How do you now deliver on their vision, while also sparking and honoring your own creativity?Today's episode is all about how to create a relationship with that initial panic of getting started. Whether it's writing, painting, dancing, or acting -- that beginning is always going to bring up the terror of the unknown. And arguing with our fears and self doubts is a losing proposition. But dropping into our bodies, and listening to and engaging with all the sensations that are arising,  can be the way back to our creative spark. (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Resonating with Melissa Febos' recent book Girlhood (which I haven't read, but discovered through a New Yorker profile), I talk in this episode about how the male gaze turns women from subject to object. And how this is felt keenly as a female actor, in the sexualization of the body and the reckoning with the need to be desired in order to be successful.I also mention:Why We Mourn GirlHood ~ Katy Waldman for The New Yorker on April 7, 2021'One Tree Hill' Cast, Crew Detail Assault, Harassment Claims Against Mark Schwahn~ Daniel Holloway for Variety on November 17, 2017(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Do you call yourself an artist? Or are you waiting for "proof" that you are one? Where does that proof come from? Is it payment for your work? Is the amount of time you put into your projects? All of our actions flow from our thoughts, so in today's episode we explore how we label ourselves, and whether that identity strengthens how we show up for our creative work. (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

Episode 5, and I'm shocked to say it's getting harder!Since I've now moved from Bright Shiny Object to The Dip, which Seth Godin termed as the space between the excitement of beginning something and the payoff of its success.What does it take to stay committed? To stay in the slog, when things don't have a clear end in sight? To keep believing in the work, before anyone else does?And then I ponder why, if art is serves a social good of connection and catharsis, it isn't publicly funded and supported the way that health and schools are? These are imperfect systems, to be sure, but how do we bridge the space between the individual hustle required in a capitalist society, of selling our wares, to some form of recognizing the contribution of artists in healing and advancing our societies? Also mentioned in this episode:The Dip: A Little Book that Teaches You When to Quit (and When to Stick) by Seth GodinBig Magicby Elizabeth Gilbert(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

How are you with sitting in the uncomfortable space between your skill and your taste? Today we talk about the Ira Glass notion of  The Gap, and how to take heart in the vision of the work you want to be producing, even if you're not able to create it yet.We also talk about the work of a daily practice, of building the foundations for your art, and how to stay motivated when it doesn't feel artistic or creative. And we end by discussing how practicing uncertainty on a daily basis, how showing up without any guarantee of how things will turn out, is a massive life skill for the all the things we crave (intimacy, adventure). ***  “Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it's just not that good. It's trying to be good, it has potential, but it's not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn't have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I've ever met. It's gonna take awhile. It's normal to take awhile. You've just gotta fight your way through.” ― Ira Glass (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

In this episode, we explore the sh*t storm that our minds can unleash when we share our creative arts with the world. In an effort to protect us, the brain - perceiving emotional vulnerability as physical vulnerability - will go to great lengths to keep us from putting ourselves in dangerous situations. This can feel like a reason to quit.It's not. It's a reason to curl up in bed for a while, take a hot bath, light some candles.Cry or scream.But it's also a sign you're on the right path. Keep going. (photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

What are the rules of being an artist?How much time have I spent searching for the perfect teacher to unlock the exact way to be an actor?As a life long nerd, it's been a rude awakening to discover that the rules of school do not apply to life. That everyone is making up as they go. And that the greatest gift you can give yourself, is the permission to be terrible at all the things you want to create, but have no idea how. With special shout out to the delights of Seth Rogen's pandemic pottery.(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing

In this inaugural episode, I break down how living a creative life means facing the illusion that we control anything on a daily basis. And why this path ain't for the faint of heart.I also discuss how everyone is creative.  It might mean home improvement or cooking or child rearing but everyone sparks creativity in their own unique, irreplaceable way. How knowing all the rules, taking another course, can actually get in the way of just doing the thing. And discovering for yourself how you create. I also mention:A Dad-Rocker in the State Department~ Nick Paumgarten for The New Yorker on December 7, 2020Stacey Abrams Is the Author of Eight Unapologetically Hot Romance Novels  ~ Jenny Singer for Glamour on December 3, 2020(photo credit: Janae Jones Photography)Pssst.... now you can also watch the episode on YouTube !#CreatingIsHealing