Being A Better Man

The Return!  With special guest, Les Moore. That’s right guy’s, I’m back! It has been almost three whole months since I have released a new podcast.  The last episode, number 234 went live on September 18th.  Since then my life got a little crazy and I had some unfortunate technical challenges to overcome.  During this three month Hiatus I have made a lot of observations, I have gained many insights, and I have continued on the path of being a better man than I was yesterday.  I plan to share these insights with you in upcoming episodes.  Today however, for my first episode back in a while we have a special guest who is going to share his personal story with us.  This interview has been scheduled for about three months as well.  In fact we sat down and recorded it one day several weeks ago and that was when I realized that my technology was not working…it didn’t record.  Now thankfully, that issue is resolved and  and I am finally able to share this inspiring interview with you. This guest started out as a listener of of this show and I noticed him pretty early on for two reasons.  One, because he was always liking things and leaving some comments and two, because he had kind of an unusual name that I really liked.  Being named Alf all my life, I kind of have a thing for unusual, clever names, I appreciate them.  This persons name was Les Moore.  Get it?  Less…more?  Anyway, He and I had a few interactions over the course of time and one day he sent me a letter really explaining what he has been up to.  When I heard his story I knew immediately that he should be a guest on the show because he epitomizes what we are trying to do here at Being A Better Man. Les Moore hails from Pennsylvania.  He is a 47 year old married father of two daughters.  In January of 2014 Les decided that he wasn’t totally happy with himself for reasons I’ll let him explain.  He made a decision that would alter the course of not only his own life, but also the lives of his wife and daughters and probably everyone else that knew him.  Les Moore decided to become a healthy, vital, man.  When he made this decision he weighed 234 pounds.  He was on prescriptions for high blood pressure and high...

Errors In Judgement, and How To Handle Them… Todays program is being brought to you by Stump Town Kilts!  they are the makers of the finest kilts available.  They are a sponsor of this show because I am a loyal customer of this company and i am happy to stand behind them with my name and reputation.  I own three of these kilts and I plan on getting more.  Everything about these kilts is top notch; the innovative design, the craftsmanship, the color selection and even the price.  I wear them everywhere, doing everything.  They are rugged enough for hard work and still nice enough for an evening on the town. Because you are listening to this podcast, you are in luck!  You are entitled to a substantial discount by being a Being A Better Man listener.  All you have to do is go to their website at:  stumptownkilts.com.  After you pick out your new kilt just enter the code:  betterman at checkout, all lower case, all one word.  Do that, and you will become the ecstatic owner of a new Stump Town kilt, at a discounted price.  Check them out today at stumptownkilts.com . This week I got a letter from a listener named Kyle.  Kyle was wondering if I would talk about something specific, that being; overcoming failure in your life. The kind of failure Kyle was talking about is the same kind of failure each of us have experienced in one way or another.  I’m not talking about big things like failing to pass the bar exam or failing to become a millionaire by the time you are 30.  No, I’m talking about those little everyday failures.  The kinds of things that make you feel regret about who you are and what kind of man you are being. The example Kyle used in his letter was from his own experience.  He had been doing well with all of the goals he had set for himself and then one day he went to a casino.  He proceeded to get drunk and spend way too much money, he gambled with family money, went home to his wife drunk, and then did the same thing the following day.  In his own words, he “made a...

There Are Always Options… After a very long period of silence It is I, Alf Herigstad, back at the Being A Better Man Microphone.  It feels really great to be back.  It seems like a very long time since I recorded an episode and in reality it has been exactly 3 weeks.  21 days since I have released an episode.  That is the longest absence I have ever had and I was a little worried about what the consequences would be.  I was concerned that everyone would just go away and listenership would plummet. I’m happy to report that during my absence 8,476 people still listened to the podcast.  That’s awesome.  Thank you all for hanging in there. As I told you in the last episode, the reason for my absence is that I was going to the Burning Man festival with my wife, father, and uncle.  I was going to be separated from technology for  a while because I was going to be camping out in the Nevada desert.  Now I am back though, and I have some stories to tell.  Some insights to share. The first thing I want to report is that we had an amazing time.  It was a fantastic experience with my dad and uncle who are both in their 80’s.  We saw epic art and we witnessed extreme cases of human innovation.  We met people from many countries and made a lot of new friends.  It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow’s though.  There were some hard lessons to learn as well on this adventure.  Hard lessons are the best kind, because they teach you the most. Before I continue with the rest of this episode I want you to take a wild guess about what I was wearing the whole time I was gone.  That’s right!  I was wearing Stump Town kilts…what else?  I took my black kilt and my green kilt to burning man with me, and I trashed them.  The black one was especially destroyed.  When I got home it was no longer black.  It had become so impregnated with dust and dirt that it was gray.  I thought it would never be the same but after it came out of the wash it looked black and beautiful again. I’m telling you guys, these...

Hate Makes It Impossible, To Be A better Man… As many of you know, since starting this podcast some 232 episodes ago I have been very diligent about not getting political.  I have not discussed politics or religion or anything else that tends to divide people.  My reason for that is because I have always found it more beneficial to focus on things that make us similar to other people…rather than the things that make us different. I still believe that is true.  For example, we are all men, regardless of what color we are or what political party we are aligned with or what Gods we pray to.  At the end of the day, we are just human men, trying to be better than we were yesterday.  Nothing positive has ever been gained from dividing people into groups based on these types of things.  That is why I have steered away from this kind of thing and instead have been focused on manhood in such a way that it can apply to everyone. Well, today it may seem like I am veering from that course a bit.  Today I will be making a very pointed observation about something going on right now.  If it offends you, you are free to never listen to me again.  If it offends you, then you are obviously not aligned with the message this podcast offers.  I would add that if you are offended by today’s podcast to at least also give yourself the benefit of hearing me out. Before I get into all that I am going to take a minute to acknowledge the sponsor of today’s program, Stump Town Kilts.  One thing I want you to know about these kilts is that they aren’t just clothes.  They are not just another garment.  In my personal experience these kilts are actually gear.  What I mean is that they are built and designed to perform a job, and they do it very well. I have three of these kilts and I have beat them up.  I live an active life and I tend to destroy things in record time, especially clothes…just ask my wife.  I have put these three kilts through the stress test and still every time when I take them out of the washer they still look great.  That’s what I mean by gear—they just keep on performing and looking great for everything I need them to do. It’s all because of the way they are crafted.  Each kilt Stump Town makes is attended to by people who actually...

Plan Your Next Adventure! I don’t know about all of you out there, but I am in full blown summer schedule with everything now.  You may have noticed that I have only been releasing episodes on Friday lately, that is evidence that I am super, super busy with the things that summer is demanding of me. Besides the farm, and our property, and relatives visiting and events of all kinds to attend one thing that has had me incredibly busy lately is that I am preparing to go on an adventure.  That’s right—an adventure. The adventure I’m going on is my wife and I are bringing my 81 year old father and his 83 year old brother to the Burning Man festival in Nevada.  I’m calling it the generational legacy tour of 2017. There are lots of different opinions out there about burning man, and there are still some people that don’t even know what it is.  Some people think it’s a den of iniquity where the devil’s minions gather.  Other people think it’s just a bunch of dirty hippies running around naked and doing drugs.  Other folks think it’s awesome and some people actually go to appreciate the colossal art built in the middle of the desert.  Some people go to hear the lectures about all kinds of amazing things. Well, I have been to burning man once in 2015.  From my experience burning man can be all of these things, or none of these things.  I found that it’s really up to the person going—you get exactly the kind of experience at burning man that you design for yourself.  Just like in life. There are around 80,000 people at this festival.  They build an actual city in the middle of a dry lakebed called Black Rock City, and then they tear it down.  Burning man has a “leave no trace” ethos.  After it’s over no trace is left, no garbage, no cigarette butts, nothing.  That in itself is really quite remarkable.  Like any city there are parts of it that I have no interest in, parts that I will avoid.  There are other parts that are amazing though. There are several reasons I like going to burning man.  One is simply the challenge of it.  You can’t buy any food there.  All of your sustenance must be brought with you for the entire week.

When It’s Hard Being A Father…Be A better Man! Hello Men! As I predicted a few weeks ago the summer schedule has been a little tough.  I have not been doing three episodes a week like many of you are used to.  There was no Monday or Wednesday episode this week.  Summers are always busy up here in the Pacific Northwest but this summer has been particularly so.  What I can guarantee is that you will be able to count on the Friday episodes every week.  As the weather changes heading into September I suspect things will return to normal though. Because this is a Friday episode I am honor bound to tell you about the sponsor of this show, a company called Stump Town Kilts.  When a lot of people think of kilts they imagine plaid garments worn by men toting bagpipes and marching in a funeral or something.  While those are definitely traditional Tartan kilts…that is not what I’m talking about.  Stump Town Kilts makes modern kilts for the contemporary man and woman.  They are garments of comfort, designed with style and function in mind and suitable for everyday use.  I own three of these kilts and I have done literally everything wearing them from the dirty jobs to the fancy events.  They are durable and comfortable in the dirt, and they look fantastic when you are wanting to get noticed at a social event.  These kilts have several innovative features that their competitors do not possess like the adjustable sizes and snap on accessories for example.  They come in a variety of colors and even the rivets have options; you can get brass, gun metal, or chrome rivets.  If you have ever thought of owning a kilt, or if you have an old dusty kilt you never wear because it doesn’t fit quite right anymore or it’s too much trouble making it hang right.  Then a kilt from Stump Town is the only kilt you should consider.  Listeners of this program can get a substantial discount simply by going to stumptownkilts.com and entering the code:  betterman, at checkout.  all lower case, all one word.  Do that and you will receive your special discount.  Do yourself a favor and check out

Living A Half-Assed Life… You have arrived at the podcast devoted exclusively to the topic of the character of men.  We don’t talk about sports, or politics, or dating or fashion.  Here we talk about the nuts and bolts of what it means to be a man in today’s world, we talk about living with character and purpose.  We do this, so that you can apply it to your own life and become a better man today than you were yesterday.  I am the host and creator of this show, my name is Alf Herigstad. We are very fortunate to have a sponsor of these Friday episodes.  A company I have partnered up with that helps me keep this show in production.  That sponsor is Stump Town kilts.  They are an American company located in Portland Oregon and they have the distinction of making the finest, most versatile, durable and attractive kilts on the market.  I know—because I own three of them and have been a customer of theirs long before I even had a podcast. I approached them to become a sponsor for that reason, because I wanted to represent a company and a product that I believe in 100%.  Stump Town kilts have several features that other kilts just don’t have.  Like the huge hidden pocket, the adjustable sizes, the snap on accessories, and because of the way they are made you don’t have to iron them.  They also come in a variety of colors.  I have a black, gray, and a green one, the next one I get will be brown but they also have a camouflage one. I wear mine for every occasion from shearing sheep and chopping wood to fancy diners and officiating weddings.  They are the perfect garment for any occasion.  Right now, as a listener of this show you can get your very own Stump Town Kilt for a substantial discount.  Go to stumptownkilts.com and do all your shopping.  When you are checking out remember to enter the special code to get your discount, that code is:  betterman.  All lower case, all one word.  Do that and you will receive your discount and also let them know you heard about it right here. Today I’m going to talk a minute about someone I actually know.  I won’t use his name and

What Is Required To Be A Leader? Welcome to the beginning of another glorious week in your life as a man.  I think every man should be having a glorious life.  If you are not currently having a glorious life, the bad news is that it’s probably your fault.  The good news, is that every day is a brand new day, and you can be the creator of your own destiny.  As men we have the power to create, imagine, dream and innovate.  We can sculpt the world around us into what we desire through the strength of our own will.  That’s the kind of stuff we talk about here.  I am your host, and my name is Alf Herigstad. I have a friend that I met through the medium of podcasting named Wally Carmichael.  He lives in Hawaii and he is the host of his own podcast called “Men Of Abundance”.  Wally and I are very aligned on issues that pertain to men, and I encourage you all to check out his show, there will be a link to it in the show notes as well. The reason I’m bringing Wally and his show up is because I read something on his Facebook wall and I knew instantly that I was going to steal it and talk about it.  I let him know, but I want to be sure and give credit where credit is due. In this post Wally was talking about the essence of leadership.  It was beautifully and accurately worded and I’m going to share it with you then talk about it for a little bit. Wally wrote:  “Men, if you have to tell someone you’re a leader, chances are, you’re not. Those who chose to follow you make you a leader. You’re position does not determine if you’re a leader. Your age or seniority does not determine if you’re a leader. Your skills determine if you’re a leader. Not even being a dad and a husband make you a leader. When others choose to follow you, then you’re leader. That is not a free ticket to start managing other people’s life.

One Of The Worst Things You Can Do… It is time once again for Being A better Man, the podcast focused exclusively on the character of men in all of its various forms.  I am your humble sherpa on this journey, my name is Alf Herigstad, I’m the creator and host of this show. Before I delve into today’s content I’m going to take a moment to acknowledge the sponsor of our Friday episodes: StumpTown Kilts.  Stump town Kilts is a company located in Portland Oregon, also known as “Stump Town”.  It is there that a few brave, industrious souls dedicate their life to the creation of what I believe to be the best kilts money can buy.  Each kilt is expertly crafted with the finest most durable material.  The designs are both functional and innovative, which means they have features other kilts do not.  Such as the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes and snap on accessories.  One of my favorite features is that I don’t have to iron them.  In addition to having an amazing kilt that will be the envy of everyone who see’s you, you will also have the privilege of dealing with the people who work there.  They are all great people who really care about your comfort and appearance when you are wearing their product. Right now you can receive a substantial discount as a listener of this show.  Just go to stumptownkilts.com.  It’s an easy website to navigate.  Pick out your color, size and accessories and then when you check out enter the code:  betterman, all one word all lower case.  When you do that you will receive your discount and you will also let them know you are a listener of Being A better Man.  Go to stumptownkilts.com and enter the code:  betterman today. _______________________________ We all have certain things that disgust us right?  One of the things that disgusts me is when I hear a grown man complaining about his wife or girlfriend, running her down to other people, demeaning and disrespecting her.  I really don’t enjoy hearing men complain about anything at all, I think it’s pathetic…but it is particularly nauseating to me when a man will complain about his significant other. Don’t get me wrong....

226 – Choosing Your Friends Wisely… Today I’m talking about the skill of choosing who your friends are.  You may have never though of it as a skill before, but I think it is.  I think it’s a skill that can be learned because it isn’t something we are born knowing how to do, and also because it’s something we can get better at.  I classify anything that can be improved upon with practice and effort, as a skill. As human beings we are pack animals.  Our existence is made up entirely of the relationships we have with other humans.  Our families, friends and acquaintances comprise the whole of our interactions and it is these relationships that become the fabric of our life.  That’s one reason I always express the importance and value of relationships. As such, the other humans we choose to spend the most time with is critical.  Lets face it; there are good people and bad people and everything in between.  Our lives are heavily influenced by the other humans we choose to spend the most time with.  So doesn’t it make sense to choose to spend time with people that will make our life better?  I think it does. Nowadays people tend to be hyper sensitive about not being judgmental.  As though there is something wrong about making a judgement about someone else’s character or value.  I don’t get that at all.  I think not only is it ok to make judgements about people, I think it is our obligation.  We owe it to ourselves to do so. If I know that I am the sum total of the five people I spend the most time with, then I am going to be very discriminating about who those five people are.  I will judge the people who come into my life to determine if they are aligned with my world view.  Is there anything I can learn from them?  Do they have experience or knowledge that I seek?  I will judge wether or not they will be a liability to my objectives, or if they will be an asset. At the same time I expect those people are judging me by the same criteria.  If there is a group of people I want to be a part of then I need to bring some sort of value to that group.  If my presence doesn’t elevate the sum total of that group in some way—then why would I...

I appreciate you taking a little time out of your manly day to listen in.  My intention is that you will receive something from this podcast that will cause you to think.  That you will be inspired to consider your own personal manhood as you go through your day.  It’s important, because staying aware and purposeful and mindful of your role in the world will result in you being a better man today than you were yesterday.  I am your host, my name is Alf Herigstad. Right off the bat though, I’m going to give a huge shout out to our sponsor;  Stump Town Kilts.  I realize that it might be easy for you guys to hear me talk about Stump Town kilts every Friday and you get used to it—immune to it even.  You may not realize how important it is to have a sponsor that helps me be able to produce this show, so that you can listen to it.  It really is a vital component to what we do here because believe it or not, this takes time and resources to create.  Time and resources cost money. There are three things that keep us going; Stump Town kilts, our Patreon page, and my book.  These are the three main revenue streams that keep this podcast afloat.  I know there are a bunch of you out there that hear me talk about these kilts and you intend to get one, you have every intention of it.  The same is true of the Patreon Page and the book.  You intend to, but then life happens and you start doing something else and you forget.  I get it—I do the same thing all the time, but that’s why I keep bringing it up.  To help remind you. So look, if you are one of those guys that has been intending to get your very own Stump Town Kilt, you can decide to wait no longer!  Go to stumptownkilts.com and start shopping for your new kilt right now.  When you are checking out enter the purchase code:  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase.  Then come back and listen to the rest of this episode. I would not ask you to do this if I didn’t believe in this product 100%.  In my opinion these are the finest, most well made, versatile, innovative kilts on the...

A Better Man Knows How To Listen… This is the podcast that focuses on the character of men.  Part of our core philosophy here is that if we become concerned with and focused on, our character as men.  Then everything else in our life will start falling in place as a result.  Think about it—if you are really trying to be a better man today than you were yesterday, and you are doing that every day, there will be some predictable results. Your relationships with other people will be improved.  That means all your relationships; your love life, your work relationships, social and family relationships will all be enhanced because you will be operating at a higher level in each of those areas as you strive to be a better man.  You will have care for others and a clear idea of what your role is in the world, your function as a man.  People will naturally like, trust, and appreciate you more and that translates to improved relationships across the board.  Your relationship with yourself will even be improved because you will know and like yourself better.  You will be proud of the things you do right.  Your confidence will be increased as you come to know yourself better.  You come to see your shortcomings as opportunities to improve, rather than feeling bad about them.  So that is what we are all about here at Being A better Man.  Improving your life, and the lives of people around you. People often ask me how I keep coming up with shows.  This is episode 224, that is a lot of episodes and it boggles some peoples mind that there is that much to say about being a better man.  The truth is, and what I tell people, is that it isn’t really that hard.  There is so much material out there in the world every day.  All I have to do is spend 10 minutes on social media or take a trip into town and everywhere I look there is something to talk about. Now–people that know me also send me articles or share posts with me that they think may be relevant to the podcast and that’s fantastic.  Recently my wife shared a story with me, a post written by someone she knows personally.  In this post her friend was lamenting the fact that she is completely fed up with men.  Specifically, her issue is that when men approach her romantically and she is not interested—a large majority of men in...

The Virtues Of Hard Work… I want to take a second and talk about a message I received yesterday from a regular listener named Les.  It made my whole day.  Les bought a copy of my book, Forging A Man.  Les has two young daughters and he started reading a chapter of the book to them as bedtime stories each night. He told me about one story in particular that had a profound effect on them and even had them moved to tears.  He went on to say that they are getting a lot from the lessons each story has as well.  This is exactly the kind of thing I envisioned when I was writing this book.  It can be used as a tool to impact other people.  Not just men, or boys—but women, and as Les has testified, even little girls will get value from these stories.  It’s called Forging A Man, but these stories are really about just being human, regardless of gender. So thank you Les for sharing your experience with me.  I would love to hear other stories like that from other readers just write:  alf@beingbetter.men.  If you have not gotten your copy yet, there is a link directly to it in the show notes of this episode. Today I want to talk about the virtue of good old fashioned back breaking hard work.  It’s something many people tend to avoid these days.  There are many people who have never actually done excruciatingly hard physical labor in their whole life.  These are soft times we live in.  We buy our food already prepared.  Our clothes come ready to wear, and the buildings we live in are just there…when something goes wrong we call someone else to fix it. As a species we are becoming more and more distant from our physical roots.  We have forgotten that our bodies are dynamic, useful tools capable of great industry.  Some people compensate by going to the gym and working out real hard.  They do that because it feels good.  Hard work releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good.  Hard physical labor does the same thing. I’m thinking about this today because a couple days ago I helped my brother on a job....

The Beauty Of Independence… Tomorrow is Independence Day here in America.  I decided to go back to see what I talked about least year during this holiday.  I liked it so much that I decided to replay it this year.  So here it is again, from the archives: I know I have a lot of listeners who are not from America…so for you, the 4th of July is just the day that comes after the 3rd of July. In America though…it is independence day.  It is the anniversary of the day 240 years ago that the declaration of independence was signed.  With the signing of that document America became a new nation, completely independent from Britain’s rule.  All of a sudden we were our own boss…we were independent. So the 4th of July is our national day.  Other countries have National day’s too.  I decided to look them up and I found a list of 171 countries that have National days, and in most cases it is a day that celebrates independence from another country. As I was looking over the list I started to notice something…Of the 171 countries listed, 55 of them celebrated their independence from the United Kingdom on their national day…just like us. There are a couple ways to look at it…the glass half empty approach would be that England really was hell-bent on taking over the whole world and it didn’t work out so well.  While with the glass half full approach you could say that Great Britain is responsible for 32% of the national celebrations in the world…Yay for England! Putting all that aside, a question looms;  Why is independence such a big deal that it causes entire countries to come together and celebrate it?  In America we celebrate with fireworks and picnics, eating and drinking, families spending time together and people getting the day off work…unless you happen to work at one of the National retail chains that tries to capitalize on our patriotism. I had the great opportunity to be in Oslo Norway one year when they celebrated their National day on the 17th of May.  They had won their independence from Denmark.  It was similar to the fourth of July in many ways…but it seemed bigger to me somehow, grander, deeper.  It made the 4th of July seem like a great party, while the 17th of May was a true celebration that fills the people with national pride from the youngest to the oldest.  They have a parade of children in every town…imagine a river of...

The Conversation Is Critical, And It’s Up To You… First…a word about our sponsor: This is Friday, and we are privileged to have our Friday episodes brought to you by our sponsor, stumptownkilts.com.  Listeners of this show can get 10% off their entire purchase by using the code:  betterman at checkout.  Just go to stumptownkilts.com, do your shopping, pick out your new kilt and enter the code betterman at checkout to receive your discount.  That’s betterman, all one word, all lower case. I’m proud to have Stump town as a sponsor of this show because I believe in their company and their product.  I own three of their kilts myself and I plan on getting more because there are some colors I don’t have.  You don’t need to iron these kilts, they are made from the best materials with the most innovative designs.  Like the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes, and snap-on accessories.  So don’t wait, summer is here and it’s time to wear your kilt.  Support this show by going to stumptownkilts.com today. __________________________________________ On this show we talk about things that have to do with the act of being a man.  The character of men.  We talk about the role men have and the responsibility that comes along with it.  The reason we do this, is because someone has to.  I think one of the problems of our society is that somewhere along the line people in general just stopped talking about what manhood means.  So, that’s one of the things we do here. Before the modern era, before people were so busy and so engrossed in technology I think it was a more regular part of the conversation.  Sons grew up in their fathers shadows with uncles and neighbors and other male members of the community all around them, having conversations with them.  The expectations of becoming a man were clear, and spoken, and demonstrated.  In those days a boy looked forward to becoming a man and being a contributing member of the community....

Your Life, Your Legacy, Your Responsibility… From time to time I talk about legacy on this show—and today is one of those days.  If a man becomes mindful of his legacy every day then being a better man becomes second nature.  It happens without even thinking about it.  I’m thinking about this today because of the weekend I just had.  I just got back from a camping trip with my family, which is why I am posting this so late on Monday…because I wasn’t home. On this camping trip there was myself, my wife, four of my grand children, my nephew, my son-in-law, and my 81 year old father.  There were nine of us all together.  We went to a camp site up on Chinook Pass in Washington State, on the white river.  It was a great, relaxing time for everyone, we had great food, we panned for gold and went fishing, we played in the freezing cold river and found interesting things and played games around the camp fire.   I helped my dad walk across the river, and stopped with him when he needed to rest.  We told stories, and laughed, and shared experiences. I brought knives for the kids to whittle wood with and I made the best pancakes I have ever eaten. All of that was wonderful, and fun, but these are not the most important things that happened.  Behind and in between all of this the important things that happened this weekend are that memories were made that will last a lifetime.  Bonds of relationship were forged and strengthened.  We all learned new things about ourselves, and about each other.  We learned about how we all fit together as a family.  These are priceless things, precious, valuable things.  These are vital components that are required in order to create a legacy that will endure and be of some benefit to the generations that follow you.  I have been mindful of my legacy for several years now, it has become a habit.  In everything I do I consider what impact it will have on my descendants.  When I make something, I imagine what some future grandchild I have never met will feel when they hold it.  How will they feel when they hold it and know it was made with my hands, from my imagination.  When I record podcasts, I imagine my future descendants are going to listen to it and I want it to be helpful to them.  Not just because of the content, but because it will give them insight into their own self, because they came from me.

Who are you…In your relationships? Today I’m going to talk a little bit about your individual role in the lives of people around you.  Who exactly are you to these people?  I’m always saying that our relationships are the most valuable things we possess, and today I’m going to get a little deeper into that topic.  Before I do that though, I’m going to take a minute and mention the sponsor of today’s episode; StumpTown Kilts. Right now we are entering premier kilt wearing weather, summer is upon us and there will be barbecues, and parties and get-togethers.  There are fairs and carnivals and parades coming up.  There will be family reunions and weddings, camp outs and fishing trips.  Summer is the time all of these things happen with great frequency, and each one of these events are the perfect time to show up wearing your beautiful and extremely manly, StumpTown Kilt. If you want to make a statement of confidence without uttering a word.  If you would like to be noticed without doing anything special and be comfortable doing it—just show up in your kilt.  Each StumpTown Kilt is expertly crafted out of the best materials with you in mind.  The come in a wide range of colors and there is a selection of accessories you can get as well.  As a listener of this show you can get a substantial discount by going to there website at:  stumptownkilts.com  then as you are checking out, enter the code:  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase.  Summer is here, so don’t wait, head over to stumptownkilts.com today. Ok, so each one of us have relationships with other people.  We are sons and brothers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends and co-workers.  We are friends, uncles, nephews, and neighbors, and we are customers, employee’s and supervisors.  Every time you interact with another human some degree of relationship is established.  It may be very slight in passing, or it may be profound and deep, but all of these interactions together make up the entire spectrum of your relationships.

Seasons Of Change, You Are In Charge… Summertime is upon us.  This fact is more evident in some places than others; Phoenix was 119 degrees yesterday and Seattle was 75.  On the other side of the world in the Southern hemisphere they are heading into winter, but all over the earth people are experiencing the change of a season in one way or another. Yesterday, June 20th, was actually the summer solstice, the longest day of the year if you are in the Northern hemisphere.  Now every day will get slightly shorter than the day before until we arrive at the shortest day of the year, which is in December. As humans we don’t think about seasons in the same way we used to.  Our lives aren’t as affected by the weather and temperatures as they used to be.  I believe however, that season changes are a natural time for us still, to take stock of our lives.  To take a look at the path we are on and make the necessary adjustments.  For our ancient ancestors the seasons and the weather were one of the biggest considerations they had.  When the summer solstice came along it was a huge reminder for them to tend their crops, to do everything necessary to ensure a good harvest.  They had to make sure they had enough fuel and food because the days were getting shorter and that meant winter was coming.  With the winter came darkness and cold, sometimes death and starvation.  The fact that you exist today is proof that your ancestors did a good job, they survived so that you can live. Nowadays we barely notice the changes from one season to the next because we continue to eat and live the same way all year around.  That doesn’t mean the seasons are not still significant…it only means our perception of them has changed.  I am suggesting that as men we can still use the seasons to galvanize our action, to focus our efforts and attention onto the things that matter. For example, now summer is here.  What are your plans for the summer?  What do you want to accomplish before Autumn gets here?  How will you make the best use of your time in the next three months?  It’s a great time to take a minute and reflect on your life.  Get a piece of paper and write down what your summer goals are.  Then write down how you plan to accomplish them. ...

What If…You Have A terrible Father? This is the 217th episode of Being A Better Man and I got to thinking that I may not have ever explained why I do the show in the way that I do.  Basically, I am making the kind of podcast that I would like to listen to.  There isn’t a lot of small talk, there isn’t a lot of music or other production type things.  When I tune into a podcast I personally don’t like it when there is a lot of jibber jabber…I like it when they get right to the point and talk about whatever the topic is.  So, that’s how I make Being A Better Man.  As a result, these episodes are shorter, but I think I usually say more in 15 minutes than many podcast do in 45.  I respect your time, and I don’t want to waste it.  I’m not saying this is either right or wrong…it’s just how I do it, and now you know why. Yesterday was Father’s day in America and people everywhere were celebrating their dads.  Many of you who are father’s were celebrated too, and I think that is a great thing.  Fatherhood is something worthy of celebration and recognition.  There is something else I think about whenever Father’s day rolls around though.  I was fortunate to have a fantastic father, but I can’t help but think about all the people who did not have great dads.  Guys who didn’t even know their fathers.  People who’s father died when they were young.  People who have mean or abusive fathers.  Fathers in prison, or fathers who abandoned them.  I think about all these people on father’s day, because it must be kind of rough for them. I try to put myself in the shoes of a person who has a father that is not worthy of celebration.  What is it like when the rest of the country and everyone on social media is talking about what a great dad they have.  I try to imagine what that must be like—but I can’t, not really, because that is not my experience.  This episode is dedicated to everyone out there in this situation though.  I want you to know that you are not forgotten. It’s not fun to talk about, but the fact is that there are a lot of crappy father’s out there.  I personally know several men who have grown up without the benefit of a good father.  It’s a...

Why A Man Should Never Be Bored… You may have noticed that there was no episode two days ago on Wednesday.  The summers are intense up here on the farm and they are very high impact.  For the rest of the summer months I may occasionally miss an episode here or there because there aren’t always enough hours in the day, but if I do, it will likely be the Wednesday episode.  I will not miss the Friday episodes for sure and hopefully not the Monday ones, just giving you a heads up. You know, missing this episode has caused me to ponder matters of time.  Time is an issue for everyone, and how we fill our time is critical.  How we manage our time is of equal importance.  So here I am, with not enough hours in the day.  I literally can stay busy doing stuff from when I wake up until I go to bed—so I would say I’m on one end of the extreme.  On the other end of the extreme are guys that run out of stuff to do.  You do all the regular stuff like eat, sleep, go to work, and go to the bathroom, but then you run out of things to do.  It’s hard for me to imagine, but you get bored with life.  You sit there without any meaningful activity to fill your time, so instead you allow your mind to be sucked out by TV or video games. In between these two extremes are where most people will fall in various combinations.  I personally think that one of the worst things a man can do is be bored, because that is when bad stuff happens.  I’m going to talk about that today, but first I will take a minute to talk about the superstars of our Friday episodes, out sponsor, StumpTown Kilts. I spent all last weekend outside on our place building things and doing chores and stuff like that.  Luckily for me, I was wearing a StumpTown Kilt.  I say I was lucky because it is the perfect garment for doing multiple tasks.  They have that huge hidden pocket in the front so I can anticipate all the tools and fittings and other things I might need and put them in there.  That way I never had to walk all the way back to my shop because I didn’t have what I needed. That is just one small example of the kilt lifestyle.  This coming weekend I will be hosting a big get together and I will be wearing my kilt simply because it looks and feels awesome. The quality of...

Work Like A Man… Hey Everybody.  Welcome to Being A Better Man, I am your host and my name is Alf Herigstad.  We are not trying to change the world here…we are just trying to change your world, one day at a time.  The whole idea is that if we can get a bunch of guys to commit to just being a better man today than they were yesterday—then the world will be a slightly better place.  You don’t have to be great, you don’t even have to be good…you only have to be better than you were yesterday.  I think everybody can do that.  Anyways, I’m glad you are listening today. In these past 214 episode I don’t think I have ever dedicated an episode to sheer, old fashioned manual labor.  I’m a little surprised by that because manual labor has been such a big part of my life.  In fact I spent all day today doing just that here on our farm. My definition of manual labor is when you are doing something physical, it becomes uncomfortable, and you keep on doing it until you finish the task you set out to do.  Correct me if I’m wrong, please…but it seems to me like there are a lot of guys nowadays that spend a lot of energy trying to avoid manual labor at all costs.  Yes, I’m speaking to the younger crowd today primarily, guys that are 40 and younger.  Believe it or not, there are a lot of guys that actually do not know how to work hard.  It sounds weird to say it, but it’s true.  Working hard at a physical task is actually a skill that must be learned. I’m not talking to guys that are physically disabled, or handicapped in any way.  You guys already know what it’s like to work hard because you do it every day of your lives.  I’m talking to everyone else. Life is so easy in these modern times, and people are trained that when something becomes hard or uncomfortable, it’s time to stop.  I’m talking about part of your body starts hurting, or you start sweating, or you get tired.  When these things happen a lot of guys just stop working, because that is what life has trained them to do.  I know what I’m talking about because I have seen it first hand.  I was a fencing contractor for a number of years and the hardest thing I had to deal with was finding good people to work for me.  It’s hard work,...

“So Called” Women’s Issues… So, I listened to a Ted Talk a couple days ago and it really got me to thinking, it’s the kind of stuff that every man needs to hear.  I’m going to be talking about that here in a minute, but first I’m going to talk about the sponsor of todays program, Stump Town Kilts. When I first started this podcast almost a year and a half ago I decided that if I ever had a sponsor that I wanted it to be Stumptown kilts.  There are lots of things I could try to sell you here, but I wanted to have a sponsor that I was familiar with, that I could stand behind and represent with a clear conscience.  I wanted a sponsor that I could feel confident about when I recommended them to my listeners. Well, Stumptown kilts fit every one of those criteria, and they were gracious enough to agree to become a sponsor of this show.  I have been a customer of Stump Town for several years.  They make the only kilts I will ever buy now.  Part of the reason for that, is the fact that they design these kilts with the people wearing them in mind.  They are durable and washable, I don’t have to iron them, they are adjustable to five sizes and I really, really appreciate the precision with which every kilt is made.  They come in a wide range of colors and they have different snap on pockets and stuff too.  Do yourself a favor.  Go to their website; stumptownkilts.com and look for yourself.  Hope around a little and when you get ready to buy one enter the code:  betterman, at checkout.  All one word, all lower case.  When you do that you will receive 10% off your online purchase, and you will let them know you heard about it right here.  You will be thrilled with your new kilt. Now before I dive into today’s topic, there is one other thing I want to tell you about as well. As I was getting ready to launch my book, Forging A Man, I gathered together a group of people who wanted to help out, I referred to them as the launch team.  As a way of returning their kindness, I offered to...

The Great Race…Of Life There are about 7.4 billion people on the earth.  Roughly half of them are not female, so that means there are around 3.7 billion male humans inhabiting the planet.  Notice, I did not say there were 3.7 billion men—because of those 3.7 billion male humans many of them are children.  Many of them who are not still technically children are boys who simply grew up, without ever becoming a man, at least by my estimation.  So, the number of actual bonafide men on the earth is hard to figure, in fact it would be impossible. The thing about all of these men though, is that they are all a bit different.  We all have different abilities and talents and experience.  We all have our own set of problems and challenges as well. What might be real easy for one man, may be extraordinarily difficult for another.  What works for one man, may simply not work for another man.  We are all very individual in that way.  It’s one of the things I find fascinating about our species.  The same thing doesn’t really apply to cows for example.  What works for one cow is likely to work for all the rest of them.  There is much less diversity of being, in other species. The reason I’m talking about this is because I was reminded by a listener that not everyone is like me.  As host of this show I talk about things from a perspective born of my individual experience.  I have a certain way of doing things, a certain way of thinking, like everyone else does.  I realized that sometimes I might make it seem too simple.  I tell you things like “focus on the things you want to change and make them a priority”.  That works great for me and other guys, but there might be guys who can’t even get to the ‘focus’ part, because their life is so upside down for whatever reason they are unable to focus on anything except surviving. I speak about making a decision to be a better man.  I talk about looking in the mirror and identifying your shortcomings so that you can correct them. Sometimes I tell you to go through your days looking for opportunities to be better than you were yesterday.  Often, I tell you that your relationships are the most valuable things you have…but heck, there may be some guys that don’t have any relationships to speak of at...

When We Screw Up…What Then? You know right from the start when I decided to put this podcast together, I did so with the intent of inviting other men to join me on a path I was already on.  The path of perpetual improvement, getting better in every area of life every day.  That’s why I call myself “your fellow man in the trenches” in the intro.  Because I really, really am right there in the trenches with you, last night I proved it. I’ll tell you something else too. Doing this podcast for about a year and a half now has created some changes.  Changes in my life, changes inside me.  Another one of those changes is in the level to which, I am accountable. In addition to all the regular ways in which I am accountable, I have realized that I am also accountable to you—the listeners.  I feeI feel like I owe you a higher level of forthrightness.  It is for that reason that I am going to share something personal with you today. I sit here three times a week telling all of you ways in which you can be a better man.  Because I’m the one doing all the talking, some of you might assume that I have it all figured out.  You might assume I am a finished product, that I don’t make mistakes or doing anything wrong.  Knowing me only through this podcast could present the illusion that I never have a bad day, or that I am never plagued with weakness of character.  Well my friends, I’m here to tell you that if you have made any of those assumptions, you are in error.  I’m really no different than any of you, I’m just a man.  I am an imperfect, fallible, sometimes stupid, and sometimes weak man.  Like you though, I am also a man that wants to be a better man, and that’s why we are all here. Last night, I was NOT a better man.  Today I woke up ashamed of myself.  I woke up angry and disgusted with the guy in the mirror.  I’ll tell you what I did, but I want to be very clear about my motives for doing so.  I’m not sharing this for sympathy or condolences.  Nor am I doing so hoping to appear noble or contrite or anything like that.  The reason I’m sharing this is for the example it can provide.  My experience may be able to help someone else.

The End Of Drama And Negativity… Hey every body!  It’s Friday once again.  Thanks for tuning into Being A Better Man, where we talk about the issues of manhood itself.  Being a man isn’t just a matter of age.  Nor is it simply a matter of gender.  Being a man is a matter of character, it is a state of mind, a responsibility and a duty.  I am your host, my name is Alf Herigstad Today I’m going to talk about something that does not get talked about enough.  Before I get into that though, I am going to talk about the esteemed sponsor of our Friday episodes; Stumptown Kilts. It’s June.  Summer is coming and in some places, it’s already here.  You may have already had a day where you got uncomfortable, your legs got all hot and sweaty, things started sticking and chafing where you didn’t want them to, right? Now imagine what that same day would have been like with the coolness of the breeze wafting up and getting rid of all that sweat and discomfort before it even happened.  That’s just one of the advantages of going out into the day wearing a supremely crafted StumpTown Kilt. Guess what?  Fathers day is coming up on June 18th.  I personally can’t think of a better Father’s day gift, than a beautiful Stumptown Kilt.  If you are a father, or if you think you might ever be a father, if you have a father or even if you know someone that is a father this would be the perfect gift.  There isn’t anything wrong with giving yourself a gift either.  To make it even better, right now listeners of this program can get 10% off their online purchase by going to stumptownkilts.com and entering the code:  betterman, at checkout.  That’s all you have to do.  So make some father’s day this year, even if it’s yourself, by going to stumptownkilts.com and entering the code:  betterman.  All one word and all lower case. There is a lot of really crappy news in the world today....

When Your’e All Alone…Impress Yourself! I would like to take just a minute and acknowledge all of you listeners out there that have been with me for a long time.  I just got a letter from a guy named Jorge in Mexico, and he said he has been listening since June of last year!  That is an entire year.  It just made me think about all of you out there who have stuck with me—some of you from the very beginning.  It really means a lot to me, it’s quite humbling.  I have gotten to know some of you through your letters and our correspondence and I have to say, that I am better for it.  So thank you. At the same time I want to welcome the new listeners and I invite you to go back and start at the beginning…get all caught up.  I invite all of you new or otherwise to drop me a line, just write me an email.  You can tell me how long you have been here, what you get out of it, you can ask questions or give me some ideas for new shows.  You can even disagree with me.  My email address is:  alf@beingbetter.men.  No one opens that email but me, and it is also me that will be writing you back. Today what I am going to talk about is a very simple principle.  It’s simple, but I believe it is also integral to being a better man.  In other words, I think it would be difficult if not impossible to ever be a better man without it. I’ve talked about this before on many occasions.  It comes up a lot even when I talk about other topics.  I don’t think I have ever talked about this exclusively though.  What I’m referring to is the basic, simple idea of doing the right thing even when you are all alone.  Like I said it’s a very simple concept.  So simple that it can be easy to forget about as well.  When we know that other people can see what we do and hear what we say, I think most of us are naturally on our best behavior.  Especially if there is someone there to impress.  However, when people are all alone and no one is watching…many people will behave in another way.  To act differently, by

Memorial Day… Today is memorial day in America.  Although this day had different names and different dates, the official holiday of Memorial Day was made a legal holiday in 1967.  It is a day set aside specifically to honor the memory of people who died while serving in America’s armed forces. Almost everyone in America has a relative who died serving in some conflict.  World war 1, world war 2, Vietnam, the Korean conflict, the gulf war…something.  I would bet that almost everyone living today has an ancestor that died in a war.  If they didn’t die, they were wounded, or captured, or something else. I for one, think it is a good and noble thing America is doing; setting a day aside to remember these people who gave their life.  However they died, under whatever circumstances, they did so in the service of something larger than their self—right or wrong.  There they were; putting themselves in harms way for a concept, an idea, or simply to help the man beside him.  By my definition they are all heroes, each one of them. My family has a slightly different tradition on Memorial Day.  We travel to the graves of all our ancestors that are within traveling distance.  There, we place flowers on their graves, we clean their stones.  We remember them, and tell stories, and speak of their deeds in life.  Then we honor their memory individually and as a family, wether they died in war or not.  We went and did this yesterday, on Sunday as is our custom.  As I was standing in one of the the cemeteries yesterday I was awe struck by the number of flags I saw on graves.  You see, in this cemetery, every veteran buried there has a flag placed on their grave by the cemetery staff.  I was standing there looking at a sea of flags waving at the grave of each veteran. I was touched, because I was looking an an Army of dead men who died in service.  A literal Army of them based on the vast numbers of flags I saw.  I was humbled, as I thought of the amount of blood spilt.  The amount of individual pain and suffering each one of those flags represented.  Then I was even more shook, as I thought of the impact all these deaths had on the family members of these brave souls.

Why…Are You Listening? Today’s episode is kind of geared for the single guys out there.  You guys who are attached may find it interesting as well though.  My question for today is; why do you listen to this show?  I really want to know, because it was recently suggested to me that men tune into this program because they think becoming a better man will eventually lead to them having more success in the dating / mating world.  I’m not convinced that is your only motivation, so I would like to know what your reason is for tuning in.  I’m going to discuss this dating / mating thing in today’s episode, but first I am going to acknowledge the sponsor of today’s program;  Stumptown Kilts. Why should you wear a kilt?  It’s a fair question.  First of all I don’t tell anyone what they should or should not do—that’s for you to decide.  Some people wear kilts because their ancestors did, and they think that’s cool.  Others might wear a kilt for the simple comfort and utility that it offers.  Still other guys might like wearing a kilt because it makes them be noticed, it makes them stand out in the crowd. There are hundreds of reasons like this I could come up with for wearing a kilt, but they don’t all apply to everyone.  The choice to wear a kilt is a very individual thing, it takes a certain kind of man.  Here’s what I do know—if you are among the men that have ever thought owning a kilt would be a good idea, for whatever reason, then there is only one kilt you should consider.  That my friends, is a Stump Town Kilt. I say this for many reasons; they are beautiful works of craftsmanship, they are made from the finest most durable materials, their innovative design and features set them far ahead of the competition, and the people at Stumptown Kilts actually care about your happiness and comfort.  I could go on and on, but the real proof about what I’m saying is that I own three of these myself and I plan on getting more because I don’t believe I can get a better kilt for the money, anywhere. As a listener of this show you can get your own Stump Town Kilt at a special price, by going to stumptownkilts.com and entering the purchase code:  betterman, at checkout.  Do that and you will receive 10%

Happiness Is A Sharp Chain… So I live up here in Washington State and I heat my house with wood.  I have been cutting a lot of firewood this past year, because that’s just what you have to do when you have wood heat.  Sometimes I will be going along and not realize that the chain on my saw has gotten dull.  It happens gradually so it’s easy not to notice unless you are really paying close attention.  When I’m working I get totally focused on the task I’m doing so sometimes I go too long without sharpening the chain. I should notice though, because the work becomes harder and harder.  As the chain becomes more dull you have to push harder and harder to accomplish the same amount of cutting. When I finally realize the chain is dull and I sharpen it, it’s like a whole new world.  What was difficult a few moments before has now become easy.  It’s like the bar drags itself through the logs instead of me having to push it and wrestle it every inch of the way.  Happiness truly is a sharp chain.  It occurred to me today as I was cutting some wood with a sharp chain, that life is kind of like that too.  When we are paying attention to all the little aspects of our life—when our life is sharp, it’s much easier. Just like me with that chainsaw though, if we get too focused on one thing or stop paying attention for whatever reason…our life goes from sharp to dull.  Exactly like the chain saw, it happens gradually.  Life just gets a little harder every day and we don’t really notice it until it’s as dull as a butterknife.  We finally notice it one day when we wake up and realize our life is a mess, with lots of problems that won’t go away.   We have been too focused on some things and not focused enough on others, and now we are cutting wood with a dull chain. The remedy my friends, is to never let your chain get that dull in the first place.  The other day I was cutting some wood and I hit a nail that was in it.  It destroyed my chain and I had to get a new one.  Stuff like that happens sometimes in life too and we have to deal with it the best we can. However, the rest of the time it’s up to us.  We have to check our chain, or our life, on a daily basis and make sure it’s sharp.  That’s...

What’s on my mind today is something that I read on Facebook a couple days ago.  It was the lamentation of a female friend of mine.  I think it’s important for us as men to take the time to understand how men are being perceived in the world.  If you are going along with your life and you are a pretty decent guy it’s real easy to forget what women and other people experience.  It is really easy for us to go through our life never feeling threatened or marginalized.  So this is what she wrote: “Let’s make girls wear different clothes instead of teaching boys how to act. Let’s have girls take self defense instead of teaching boys how to act. Let’s have drug detection aids for drinks instead of teaching boys how to act. Let’s tell girls not to walk the streets alone instead of teaching boys how to act. Not only does this show we don’t care for our daughters, I think it shows we also don’t care about our sons.” I find it sad that a woman in this day and age we live in would feel the need to write this.  What makes me even more sad is that it is tragically true.  Rather than instruct boys in how to behave as men, we as a society want to remedy the situation by altering the way women live.  I couldn’t let that just sit there, so I responded with my own comment, I wrote:  “Sadly, boys are just that, regardless of their age. I’m trying to help teach boys how to be actual men. I think that is what has been lost. There are good men in the world…but there needs to be more, and the responsibility falls on the few good men to be examples for the others, and speak out.” I felt a need to remind her that there are still good, decent men walking around.  Many of them are listening to this podcast, men like you.  What are we going to do guys?  All of us have females that we love; our daughters, sisters, wives and mothers.  What can we do that will make the world a better place for them, a safe place? Like I said in my comment to her, I feel the responsibility for making corrections lies squarely with us, the actual men who are in the world.  Who else is going to do it?  You can’t legislate this kind of thing, you can’t pass laws that make men respect women more.  No external force is going to have significant influence.  It will have to come from within the ranks.

The Power Of Today…again Hey everybody, welcome to Being A Better Man.  I am your host my name is Alf Herigstad, and today I’m going to do something a little different. I’m actually headed out of town and my schedule is totally booked up for a few days so I thought I would replay an episode from December 30th, almost 6 months ago.  It’s the last episode of 2016, number 147. I chose this episode because the content is still valid for one—but also because it’s an opportunity for all of us to check in on how this year is going.  Are we accomplishing the things we set out to do at the start of the year?  Or, do we need to change directions and do something different for the next half of the year? I’ll be back on Monday with a brand new episode.  I hope everyone has a great weekend. Before I get started I want to mention the sponsor of todays episode, Stump Town Kilts.  Stump Town Kilts is making it possible for me to share todays episode with you.  If you wear kilts, or have ever even considered the possibility of wearing a kilt, please go to their website and look at what they have to offer. As a listener of this show you can receive 10% off your on-line purchase by entering the code:  betterman when you check out. These are the kilts I wear every day and there are two features that I especially love.  One is the huge hidden pocket right in front.  I carry a ton of stuff in there and nobody knows it there…because it’s hidden!  It is a brilliant feature. I also love the attachable pockets, because I can move them around where they are most useful and they are interchangeable.  I can put a black pocket on my green kilt if I want to.  So check out stumptownkilts.com, when you use the code:  betterman they will know that Alf sent you.  Thanks for supporting this sponsor. Yes, today is the last episode of 2016.  I personally am happy to welcome in the new year.  2016 was ok, but I’m always excited about what lays ahead…the future.  In January of 2016, almost a year ago, I...

The Virtue Of Diplomacy… Hey every body!  Welcome!  You have arrived at a podcast that is devoted to advancing the consciousness of men everywhere.  Specifically…the part of our consciousness that has to do with character.  Welcome to Being A better Man! This is my favorite time of year.  Today is the 17th of May, and it is a really big deal in Norway.  It is their constitution day, when they declared independence from Sweden.  I’ll be attending a big Parade today in Ballard Washington, and for all of my Norwegian listeners, I would like to say; Gratularer med dagen!  Hip hip hurrah! It’s good to celebrate all the good things in life, because life can really get heavy sometimes can’t it?  I find myself, in today’s political climate spending a certain amount of energy on simply not engaging.  It isn’t just the political climate though, it’s the racial climate and all the things going on internationally as well.  There is also gender issues and healthcare issues and a whole list of other things that are just there every time you turn on a computer or have a conversation with somebody.  That is the world we live in today. When I said I find myself spending energy on NOT ENGAGING, what I meant was that it is way too easy to get caught up in all this stuff.  With this many opinions in the world I really have to watch myself.  I cannot allow myself to get triggered by something someone says that I think is inaccurate.  Why?  Because it is not productive.  It does nothing to advance my life or my situation. Just this evening I witnessed a debate on Facebook between two guys I went to school with.  They are on opposite sides of the issue they are talking about.  I watch as their comments become more and more personal, more aggressive, and sharp.  Eventually, they both turn into elementary school children hurling insults, and what is the product of all this vitriol?  Is anyones mind changed?  No.  The only thing produced by all of it is bad feelings between two people who otherwise, would be friends. I have plenty of...

The Miracle Of Motherhood… I have a lot of things I could discuss that relate to being a better man—there are many relevant topics begging to be discussed.  However, today I’m having a hard time tapping into those topics because all that is on my mind is the magic of motherhood.  This episode is being released the day after Mothers day here in America, but I’m actually recording it the day before—on mothers day.  I just got home from having an intimate celebration with my Dad, sister and brother.  We went to a local restaurant and spent some time together and we all toasted my mother, who has been gone since January of 2013. Look, as men I think it’s important for us to occasionally set some time aside and acknowledge the things we are unable to do as men.  One of the things we cannot do is be a mother.  We cannot be mothers.  No matter how hard we try and no matter how in touch we are with our feminine side…we can never be a mother.  We can’t do that. I personally think that mother’s are equally responsible for the development of boys turning into men as fathers are.  I can tell you that if it wasn’t for my mom, I would not be the person I am today.  My dad was an exemplary example of manhood. He showed me what being a man meant, what it was all about, and how to do it.  My mom though—she taught me how to be a human being.  She taught me how to feel.  She taught me how to laugh and cry and she connected me with many other parts of my humanity that frankly, I think my dad would have had a hard time doing.  Not because he was inept in any way, but just because he was busy being a man.  Think about it; in a normal situation all of us are with our mothers primarily for the first 10 years or so of our life.  After that other influences start to take hold, but those first few years are critical, it’s when the foundation is laid.  They are very impressionable years and mothers play an enormous role in shaping the people we eventually become.  I spent several years as a single parent, I was privileged to have  two daughters and a son.  I believe I was a good dad, but I was probably a horrible mother.  Even though I tried very hard to be nurturing and kind and motherly at times, because that’s what you have to do when you are a single parent—I know I was probably woefully...

Hey every body!  Alf Herigstad here, broadcasting from the rain-soaked, wind-battered region of the country known as western Washington.  You have arrived at the podcast that is devoted to advancing the character of men—welcome to Being A Better Man. I got a letter recently from a listener named Calen.  In it, he said that he is having trouble getting things together at both work and home at the same time.  He said he knows what it takes to be the best at everything individually, but the trouble comes in when you try to be the best at everything at once.  He thinks consistency might be part of the problem, and that constantly trying to balance all aspects of his life is leaving him feeling burned out on everything. Sound familiar?  What Calen is describing is one of the most relevant issues men face today;  trying to find balance between work, home, and your social life.  So that’s what I’m going to talk about today, but first I am going to acknowledge the sponsor of todays program:  Stumptown kilts. I’ll tell you a little story;  I started going to a tavern last summer to play bingo with my dad.  It was a good way to spend time with him doing something he enjoys.  It was summertime and I always wore one of my kilts.  Then winter hit, and there were rare occasions that I would wear jeans instead of my kilt.  Every time I did that people I didn’t even know would come up to me and ask me why I wasn’t wearing my kilt.  They were disappointed, they had come to expect that I would always be wearing a kilt and when I wasn’t it seemed to leave them feeling unsettled somehow. I’m telling you this story to illustrate the power of the kilt.  When you wear a kilt people notice you, and they remember you.  You somehow instantly become extraordinary because you aren’t dressed like everyone else.  I can tell you, as a man, being extraordinary can come in really handy. Beyond that, there is the basic comfort and freedom that a kilt provides.  I do everything in my kilt from climbing mountains, to fishing, to officiating weddings, and the only brand of kilt I’ll buy is Stump Town Kilts.  Why? because of the superb craftsmanship, the innovative design, the affordable...

I’m Back!  With a harrowing tale… Hey every body!  I’m back!  This is Alf Herigstad resuming the Being A Better Man podcast after mother nature took me out for a few days.  As you may have noticed there was no podcast last Friday, or this Monday, and todays podcast is coming out late in the day.  I am sorry for the break in continuity, it’s the first time that I have ever missed releasing an episode on time and there is a good reason for it.  Here where I live in the wilds of Western Washington, we had a major weather event that causes severe damage. We thought it was a tornado, but turns out it was a micro-burst.  Essentially it was a super powerful storm with tornado like gusts of wind.  It cut a swath of destruction though our community and we were without power and internet for several days. Even as I am recording this episode we do not have internet…our power just can back on though, so I am getting ready for when our internet does come back on line. Everyone that went through this storm has a different story about what it was like for them, what they saw and what happened.  I am no different.   However, I am going to share my story with you, not just for the story aspect—but also because of the observations I made during the chaos. For those of you who don’t know, I spend a portion of my time being a substitute school bus driver.  I enjoy the interactions with the children and some of the other challenges that come with the position.  On the day of the storm I had an after school route from an elementary school, kids between kindergarten and 5th grade who had some sort of after school activity and needed to be brought home.  We had a little thunder storm earlier in the day with heavy rain and wind, and everyone thought it was over.  As I pulled up to the school and was waiting for the children to come out, I got out of the bus and was just looking around.  It was very eerie.  There wasn’t any wind, and the sky and everything else was taking on an unusual color. I looked to the southern sky and I saw clouds that were pitch black all across the southern sky from horizon to horizon.  There was something else though, a very odd cloud shape I hadn’t seen before.  It looked like it was welling up from somewhere evil, with little tendrils underneath it.

Hey every body, this is a pretty special day—a mile stone, if you will.  It’s a special day because this is the 200th episode of Being A Better Man!  That’s right guys! Exactly 464 days ago I sat down to the Being A Better Man microphone and recorded the very first episode.  Now here we are at number 200…pretty crazy right? It’s astounding to me, because when I started this I didn’t know if I would make to episode 30.  I had no idea what was going to happen or how it would be received, but here we are celebrating 200 shows. In the past 464 days about 245,000 of you have downloaded an episode.  That’s almost a quarter million…so that seems kind of significant.  That means that for the past 464 days 528 people somewhere in the world have listened to the show every single day.  That’s the average, and since I only make three a week it includes all the days that I don’t release a new episode.  Every day, about 528 people listen.  That’s pretty cool. This would not have been possible without you guys out there tuning in.  Without you guys I would just be a guy in a man cave talking to myself but you guys made this happen, so thank you. If it wasn’t for the download evidence that people were actually listening, and if it wasn’t for all the amazing feedback I’ve gotten from listeners, I probably would have stopped doing this a long time ago.  There were times when I started questioning if I was having an impact, and started wondering if I should do something different…and then I would get a letter from some body telling me that listening has helped them make improvements in their life.  Or I would get a letter thanking me for saving their marriage and for keeping their family together.  I even got some letters from wives of listeners thanking me for the difference the show is making in their home. These letters that I got from you over these past 464 days are what made all the difference for me.  They are like fuel for my spirit, I love getting them.  They let me know we were on the right track here and that the show was in fact making a difference.  So thank you to everyone who ever reached out and said anything to me at all, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You know recently I was sort of going through this again.  I was telling my...

My name is Alf Herigstad and I would like to welcome you to Being A Better Man.  The podcast that is focused on the character of men exclusively.   We talk about a wide range of topics here, but they all relate back to us individually, and what kind of men we are. As I go through this episode I will be using the pronouns of heterosexual relationships, mainly because that is the majority of who I’m talking to.  If you are of another gender preference or persuasion just insert your own identifier.  The him, her, he, she isn’t that important…what’s important is that we are all humans and these things are true for everyone. There is a question that every man asks himself through the course of his life.  Sometimes he asks it once, and sometimes it may be several times.  The question I’m talking about comes up when you meet a new potential woman who you think might be worth investing yourself in.  The question is;  “Is she the one.” THE ONE.  That is kind of a big deal in our common vernacular.  It is a statement that combines a lot of concepts together.  Like will she be a good wife, a good mother.  Will she be a good partner in the the lifestyle that I want to live, will we be happy together forever?  Will she get along with my family and does she like dogs and if I go fishing will she want to come with me? For each one of us, the requirements of “THE ONE” may be different.  We all have a different idea of that dream girl, and it depends a lot on where you are from and what your interests are.  What your sense of humor is like and what kind of person you are attracted to.  It’s different for everybody.  Even when we know the answers.  Even when we know the kind of person we are looking for, it seems like this question frequently comes up, sometimes at the last minute, when you are on the threshold of the altar about to get married.  “Is she the one?” The intent of this episode is to give you a shortcut to that answer.  Some of you that are blinded by love or lust won’t hear me…but hopefully the rest of you will. I’ll start by identifying some of the ways you can be sure she is not the “ONE”. 

Defining Definitions,  nice guy vs. good man… I have several things to talk about today, but before I jump into it, I’m going to recognize our amazing sponsors of the Friday episodes.  The one and only, StumpTown Kilts. Stumptown Kilts has been our sponsor for around 6 months now.  During that time several of you have answered the call and gotten your very own Stumptown kilt…but I know a  lot more of you are thinking about it.  I know you want one, so stop putting it off and head over to stumptownkilts.com and get one, you will be glad you did. It’s a win-win-win!  You win because you get a superbly crafted, innovative, amazing kilt that everyone will notice and be envious of.  I win, because by getting a kilt from our sponsor you are also supporting the show—and Stumptown Kilts wins because they get another ecstatic lifelong customer to ad to their growing list of happy kilt wearers.  What could be better than a three-way win? So don’t wait, head over to stumptownkilts.com and pick out that kilt you have been thinking of since I first started talking about them.  Once you have the kilt and all the accessories you want picked out, remember to enter the code:  betterman, at checkout.  When you do that you will receive 10% off your entire purchase.  Do it today! Ok, in the last episode, number 197 called The Minutia Of Manhood, I hit a nerve with a few guys.  I hit a nerve because I was talking in real plain english about the fact that when you don’t pay attention to the details of your life, the minutia, that you might be something other than a man.  You might still be a boy. The thing is, it’s only tough to hear stuff like that if it’s true.  I know I hit some of you where you live and it’s not comfortable.  There was one guy who wrote into me about it.  I won’t give his name because I don’t have his permission, but he wrote in and told me that episode pissed him off and made him angry…at himself. 

The Minutia Of Manhood… Hey every body.  It is I, Alf Herigstad, back once again to talk with you about the minutia of manhood.  Welcome to being a better man, I’m glad you are here with me. Ah…the minutia of manhood.  It doesn’t sound very appealing when you say it like that.  We men usually avoid minutia, I know I do.  For those of you who don’t know, minutia is the tedious details of things.  The little things that are no fun but, that must be done. For example, you may not realize that I am a home brewer.  I do make some craft beers, but mostly I make mead, which is essentially wine made from honey.  One of the oldest alcoholic beverages mankind ever made, and it’s what the Vikings drank. This is a hobby of mine that is a lot of fun.  I get a lot of enjoyment out of it and I have experimented with all kinds of different flavors and techniques.  I have made jalapeño mead, and coffee mead, strawberry and rhubarb mead.  I love the creation process, and I love having people try it and see the surprise on their face.  I love the science of it too, like how the yeast transforms honey and water into something amazing.  There is a part of this process I don’t like though, and that is the minutia. The minutia of being a home brewer happens every time you want to put your new creation in bottles.  I hate washing bottles, that is the minutia, but guess what?  If I don’t wash the bottles then it will just sit there forever in these big glass fermenting vessels.  The only way to taste it or share it would be to get a big straw and sit on the floor sucking it out…and that wouldn’t be any fun I don’t think. So, I wash bottles.  I stand at the sink for a couple hours sterilizing and washing and I hate every second of it.  Those bottles are not going to wash themselves, so I have no choice. Being a man is no different, being a man has minutia attached to it just like everything else does.  I love being a man.  I like being big and strong and being able to make things and grow a beard.  I like being regarded as a man in society and most other things that go along with

You don’t learn anything, when your lips are moving! I spent the weekend with a very diverse group of fascinating people.  People from different walks of life, different interests and hobbies, different ages and genders.  As I was moving among these people having conversations about this or that it occurred to me several times just how interesting humans are. We are all the same animal, we are all human beings and yet, we are all so different in our own ways.  We look different and talk different, we have different senses of humor.  Every body has their own story and experience, their own history that is unique to them.  When you multiply that by 7.4 billion people it becomes pretty remarkable that so much diversity could exist within a single species…but it does. While that may be obvious, it’s also easy to take for granted.  When we are dealing with people we tend to be more concerned with how we are being perceived by them.  We wonder what they are thinking about us.  Many of us seldom seize the opportunity to listen and learn from the people around us. It doesn’t matter who the person is or what their background.  There is usually something that can be learned from everyone, if we aren’t being obsessed with ourselves.  I learned things this weekend from tiny children.  I discovered some amazing things from other people who are a third of my age.  I made it a point to try and learn something from every person I encountered—even the ones who didn’t say much. I listened to stories and asked questions and I came away a richer man for having taken that time.  That’s why I’m talking about this today, because it is an important skill to develop as a man.  The more we learn about other people, the better understanding we may have of ourselves.  The more we learn about other people the better equipped we will be to navigate through a world that is full of them and the more skillful we will become in the areas of communication, understanding, and ultimately—being a better man. I’m going to discuss a couple techniques to keep in mind as you go through the world.  Simple techniques that will help you learn as much as you can from the people you encounter on your path. The first thing I encourage you to do is to show a genuine interest in other people.

Quick announcement before I get started, The eBook Kindle version of my book, Forging A Man, is now available on Amazon.  The big part of that announcement is that it is still in the free promotion.  So if you are listening to this episode between now and April 23rd, 2017—you can download the book for free!  All I ask in return for the free book, is that you leave a review on Amazon.  There is a link to download the book below The print book will be available in about a week if everything goes right and I’ll let you know when that happens. Well, it’s Friday.  Now I’m going to take a moment to recognize the sponsor of our Friday show, StumpTown Kilts.  Last weekend my wife and I went to a local event called Norway Days over at the fairgrounds.  As I’m walking around I had three or four different people come up to me and compliment me on my kilt, which was of course…a StumpTown Kilt.  Even people who are wearing other brands of kilts have complimented me on my kilt.  So every time that happens I take a minute to show the people some of the features like the big hidden pocket, the adjustable sizes and the snap on pockets, and I tell them about the fact that I don’t have to iron it.  Everyone who approaches me seems to want one, especially after I show them these things.  One guy wouldn’t let me leave until I wrote down the information for him to get one. I’m used to it now.  That is what life is like in a StumpTown Kilt.  You get noticed and envied, and so does your kilt.  Now the listeners of this podcast can get their very own kilt for a substantial discount.  All you do is go to stumptownkilts.com and pick out your next kilt.  Then, when you are checking out you enter the purchase code:  betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your online purchase.  It’s a great deal, so stop putting it off and go visit stumptownkilts.com today. _______________________________ OK, so I got a letter from a listener named Raiyan a couple days ago.  This is what he said:

Your Relationships, Are Your Fault! You may have tuned in today expecting to hear a story.  It would make sense, after all I have been telling stories on Wednesday for over a year now.  I hope you aren’t too disappointed, but today I don’t have a story. I have not run out of stories entirely…but there is a finite supply of them, seeing as how I just have this one life and everything.  So the stories may be a bit more sporadic going forward, because I don’t want to use them all up and not have any more to tell. The other reason there is no story today is because I honestly just have other things on my mind.  You know what I mean…spring can do that to you.  For me, when the seasons change I have to go through this period of adjustment.  When spring comes and everything starts growing There are so many things I need to get done that I couldn’t do in the winter months.  I have baby lambs now, there is a garden to plant, I still have wood to split and things to build…it can be a little overwhelming.  So that is part of what is occupying my brain. On top of that, my book went live on amazon today, at least the eBook portion of it did.  Thats right, you can go to Amazon right now and type in my name or the book title; Forging A Man, and it will pop right up.  Just so you know, it’s going to be free for the next 5 days, from the 19th to the 23rd.  After that it will be $3.99.  I wanted to make it free for a few days so that all of you could download it and leave a review for me on Amazon.   There is a link below to make it easy. Those Amazon reviews are really important because they determine how visible the book is to new readers, so I really appreciate you doing that in exchange for the free eBook. The print book will be out in about a week, I’m waiting to get the proof to look over before I unleash it onto the world.  I’ll let you know when that one is available as well…and you really should have both of them anyway, and don’t forget they will make a great gift too. That kind of leads in to what I want to talk about today.  You might be thinking I don’t have a topic…but I do.  Getting this book finished is a monumental thing for me.  It’s the culmination of a lifetime of not only living…but paying attention while I was living.  My...

A Man In Modern Times… I have a question for you today.  Say you wake up in 2017 and you are a grown, human man.  You walk outside and realize that there is nothing for you to kill, and there is plenty of food in your fridge.  There is nobody that needs you to defend them right in the moment either.  Everything seems to be going ok. You go to work, you come home, you go through all the same stuff you normally do in the course of a day.  Again, you didn’t get in any fights for territory or possessions, you didn’t have to spill blood of any kind.  At the end of the day you didn’t have to do anything that was necessarily ‘male’, you just lived your life like you do every day.  My question is really a question someone asked me the other day.  If you go through life without having to engage in traditional male activities…then what is it, exactly that defines you as a man? What if you are a stay at home dad?  Your wife has a sweet job and it makes sense for you to stay home and take care of the kids, should that challenge your masculinity at all?  I think a lot of guys get confused around these questions.  That’s why so many guys act out with too much bravado and machismo because they are over compensating for a perceived lack of masculinity in other areas of their life. Other guys just become raging douche bag control freaks in their relationships because they need to feel in charge of something to validate their manhood.  Then there are some guys that try to convince themselves they are a man by having sex as much as humanly possible with as many partners as they can find. It’s a problem, because a lot of guys nowadays are drifting into adulthood without having the slightest clue what being a man means.  They have no example, no guidance, and the messages society is sending them is very confusing at times. The real question then, is what does define a modern human man?  Even though most days we don’t have to fight or kill or defend our tribe, what is it in this modern life that makes us a man? The answer is surprisingly simple in my opinion, and it applies to every man wether he is a stay at home dad, or an Alaskan fisherman, or a pharmacist or a construction worker.  The fact that we don’t have to kill things to live every day and defend our loved ones against threats is a huge advantage.

FIDELITY…or the lack thereof As you know the launch of my book is imminent.  It will be available before the end of this month of April.  It’s called “Forging A Man” and it is a collection of stories that I have told on this very podcast, along with the lessons learned from them.  Be watching out for it, because when I launch it will have a lower introductory price for about a week before it goes up, and I want to make sure the listeners of this program are able to take advantage of that lower cost. It will be available in both ebook and print form, but whichever one you get, I suggest you get an extra copy of the print book because it has a really cool cover, and it will make a great gift, so start thinking of who you want to give it to right now. This is Friday, and our Friday episodes are sponsored by the great people at Stump Town Kilts so I’m going to take a minute to talk about all the reasons you should be wearing one of your very own.  I own three of these kilts myself, and just a couple days ago I was at an event where I ran into two other guys who were also wearing kilts.  The three of us eventually would up in a conversation and we started talking about the kilts we were wearing because they each were made by a different manufacturer.  I let both of them go first and when they were done I started showing them what makes Stumptown Kilts different.  Then I showed them the huge hidden pocket and the snap on accessories.  I opened it up and showed them how they are adjustable up to five sizes.  What really got their attention was the material itself, and the fact that they are wash and wear…you don’t have to spend time ironing pleats, you just put it on and go.  Needless to say, they were both amazed by the innovation and design of the kilt I was wearing.  It made them feel like their kilt was a relic of the past and now they both want one. As a listener of this show you can have one of your own at a discounted price.  Just go to stumptownkilts.com, pick out the kilt you want and when you are checking out enter the purchase code: betterman, all one word, all lower case, and you will receive 10% off your online purchase.  You can’t beat that with a stick, so do it today. OK guys, today I want to talk about fidelity.  We don’t hear that word too often in normal life....

The Saga Of Little Big Turkey… Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life.  It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.  The name of today’s story is;  The Saga Of Little Big Turkey. Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life.  Or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it.  Either way, you should be entertained. As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories.  When did you learn these lessons?  Can you remember?  Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital.  It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories.  It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next.  The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called The Saga Og Little Big Turkey, is really about confidence and attitude, and how we can use them to our advantage if used with a measure of intelligence, reason, and compassion. As usual, I would love to hear your feedback on this, or any of the other episodes.  Your feedback and input is greatly appreciated. Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links. PATREON STUMPTOWN KILTS AUDIBLE FACEBOOK  (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/27/1175410227.js"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-t8d8jxubo"));

Swearing, is it Manly? Welcome to Being A Better Man.  I would like to also welcome all of you first time listeners to the show, I’m really glad you found me.  For your convenience all 190 episodes are archived here at the website.  They in the dropdown tab under podcast episodes. I also want to update everyone on the book that is coming out.  Its called Forging a man —a collection of true tales and the lessons wrought from them, and It is in the final editorial process right now.  Once that is done I will be pulling the trigger, launching the book, and it will be available for you to purchase this month.  I will of course announce when it is available, but I want you to be ready for it.  The success or failure of a book nowadays depends a lot on what happens in the first 30 days so it’s important that if you intend to get a copy, to get it quickly when it is published, and then leave an honest review on Amazon, thats very important as well.  Don’t forget that this book will also make a great gift so you do not have to limit yourself to just one. What I would like to talk about today is swearing.  Where does swearing fit on the spectrum of manly behavior?  It really depends on who you ask doesn’t it? If you ask a devoutly religious person for example, they would tell you that swearing is wrong, period.  As you walk down the street and ask everyone else you run into this question, you would probably get an entire range of answers.  Some of the answers would probably even include swear words.  So it seems like there is not one definitive answer to this question.  Nor is it my job to tell you its either good or bad right or wrong.  I personally think questions like this are up to each individual to answer for themselves, with their own brain.  I think each man should determine what is and is not acceptable behavior, and then abide by that decision because you decided it was right, and not because someone else told you it was. To make this type of decision all a person really needs is information—and that I can help you with.  My job is to give you information and also to share my thoughts and experience with you from a perspective of manhood, so that you are better able to make these types of decisions for yourself.  My job is to inspire you to think about these things. I’ll do that by telling you what I think, and why, and...

Life Is Significant… In the above picture I was demonstrating how NOT to weed a garden, it was kind of a joke. You never know whats going to happen on Fridays…because I just talk about what is in the upper crust of my brain.  As it relates to being abetter man of course. Before I get into today’s content though, I am going to acknowledge the sponsor of today’s program, Stump Town kilts.  They are called the sponsor because they help me produce the Friday episodes…without them, there may not be any Friday episodes so I encourage all of you to head over to their website at stumptownkilts.com to check them out. As their name implies, they make kilts.  In my opinion the finest most innovative kilts available.  These are the only kilts I will wear now, because I love them.  The craftsmanship is impeccable, the design features are cutting edge.  They are doing things no other kilt manufacturer is doing…like making them adjustable to five or six sizes, making snap on accessory pockets, and don’t forget about the huge hidden pocket right in the front and the durable wash and wear fabric…which means no ironing.  If you have ever considered stepping up your game and wearing a manly kilt, then this is where you need to go;  stumptownkilts.com.  As a listener of this program, you can get 10% off your entire purchase by entering the code:  betterman at checkout.  All one word, all lower case.  So check them out today at stumptownkilts.com. ________________________________ Alright, so today what is on my mind is dirt.  As in the stuff that covers the earth that plants grow out of.  The reason I’m thinking about dirt is because I spent most of the day with my wife, getting our garden ready for planting.  I’m covered with dirt right this minute in fact, just like in the picture. It was a lot of work.  I can feel it in my back and my knees, but it was a good day.  There is something about working the soil that is very primal, it goes back to our very early ancestors.  Just having your hands in the dirt, preparing it to be planted with things you will eventually eat.  There is something about the

Dreams Ignite Ambition… Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life.  It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.  The name of today’s story is;  Dreams Ignite Ambition. Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life.  Or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it.  Either way, you should be entertained. As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories.  When did you learn these lessons?  Can you remember?  Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital.  It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories.  It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next.  The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called Dreams Ignite Ambition, is about the power of dreams, and their ability to release the potential within all of us, if we allow it.. As usual, I would love to hear your feedback on this, or any of the other episodes.  Your feedback and input is greatly appreciated. Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links. PATREON STUMPTOWN KILTS AUDIBLE FACEBOOK  (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/27/1175410227.js"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-t8d8jxubo"));

A Family Tradition…our responsibility as men Welcome one and all to Being A Better Man.  The podcast that is focused on the character of men…for the sake of the rest of the world.  My name is Alf Herigstad, I’m your host, and I am very glad you are listening today. Hey if you enjoy this podcast, if you agree with the mission here, it would mean a lot to me if you pop over to the iTunes page and leave a rating and review.  The more reviews I have the more visible the show becomes, and it makes it easier for new listeners to find it.  Thank you for doing that. Also, if you are a regular consumer of the show, and you would like to help keep this content coming, there is another way you can show your support.  You can go to Patreon and actually become a patron of the show by pledging your support on a monthly basis.  It can be as little as a dollar a month, or as much as you want.  When you do that it does two things;  it lets me know that the show is having an impact and you want more, and it also helps me with some of the expenses associated with producing the show.  You can watch a video I made and learn more about it at: http://www.beingabettermanpodcast.com/Patreon If you have been listening for awhile, you know that these episodes cover a pretty wide range of topics, but they all ultimately relate to our life as men, and being a better man than we were yesterday. You may have wondered how I come up with the topics I talk about, and how I decide what to talk about on any given day.  Well basically, I just look around in the world.  I see whats going on.  I listen to the news and see what people are talking about on social media, and I ponder what effect it all has on the state of manhood in the world.  Usually there is something that is sticking in my brain more than other things, and I talk about that. Today there is something sticking in my brain, and I need to talk about it.  This doesn’t come to me from the world at large, but rather from my own life.  It’s a very personal topic for me.  Today I’m talking about family.

Blueprint Of A Man… Today I’m going to share with you a message I received earlier today and talk about that for a little bit.  But first, we need to take a moment and recognize the illustrious sponsor of today’s program; Stump Town Kilts. This company is located in Stump Town, also known as Portland Oregon.  I have been to their facility, I have met the people behind the kilts…and let me tell you, you will not find a group of people more dedicated to the creation of top quality kilts than these people.  Every kilt made by them has received their personal attention in every detail.  That is why I have them as a sponsor of this show, because I know they stand behind their product 100%, and I stand behind them.  I don’t just stand behind them…I stand IN them.  I own three of these kilts myself.  Really guys, here’s the formula;  Suburb craftsmanship + Innovative original design + people who take pride in their work = a Stumptown Kilt.  So don’t wait, go to their website at stumptownkilts.com and order your new kilt, today.  For listeners of this show if you enter the code:  betterman, at checkout, you will receive 10% off your online purchase.  OK, today I got a letter on the Being A Better Man Facebook page.  I’m going to share that letter with you because it brings up an important point. This message came from a woman, and she wrote: Alf, Thank you so much for doing all that you do. My husband listens to your show and has begun sharing the episodes with our 12 y/o son and myself and I had to take a moment to say you enrich the lives of all that hear your voice. I grow and am able to better support the men and growing men in my life with every show. I appreciate your time and all the energy you put in to improving the lives around you. Have a great day! Aloha! Besides the letter itself, and the compliment to me and the show, which is awesome.  I want to focus on something else, and that is this woman’s husband.  He did something extraordinary and important, he started sharing the show with her and their 12 year old son.  I want to applaud this man, because by sharing something with his family that he thought was important and...

The Absence Of Color… Every Wednesday I regal you with a story from somewhere in my unusual and interesting life.  It could be funny, sad, serious or disturbing, the important thing is that every story has a lesson.  The name of today’s story is;  The Absence Of Color. Even though these are my stories, you can apply these lessons to your own life.  Or perhaps they will remind you of your own similar story and the lessons you learned from it.  Either way, you should be entertained. As you listen, I really want you to consider your own stories.  When did you learn these lessons?  Can you remember?  Sometimes digging up your own past can have great benefit, especially if you are made to remember that one singular moment in time when you learned something vital.  It’s almost like learning it all over again. That…is the purpose of these stories. In fact, I think there is nothing quite so human as the hearing and telling of stories.  It’s how our ancestors conveyed critical information from one generation to the next.  The stories told around campfires the world over are what eventually shaped our species into what it is today. Today’s story, called  The Absence Of Color, is about something that happened that made me understand how much we appreciate things when we no longer have them, and how we can choose to appreciate even the small things. As usual, I would love to hear your feedback on this, or any of the other episodes.  Your feedback and input is greatly appreciated. Please take time to check out the MANLY RESOURCE CENTER, in the menu tab at the top of the page.  Or, click on these links. PATREON STUMPTOWN KILTS AUDIBLE FACEBOOK  (function(d, s, id) { var js, fjs = d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; if (d.getElementById(id)) return; js = d.createElement(s); js.id = id; js.src = "//forms.aweber.com/form/27/1175410227.js"; fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js, fjs); }(document, "script", "aweber-wjs-t8d8jxubo"));