Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

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Advice, commentary, and conversation from Daniel Mallory Ortberg, author of Slate's Dear Prudence column. Every week, Prudie and special guests answer questions about relationships, sex, work, family, and life.

Slate Podcasts


    • Feb 5, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 49m AVG DURATION
    • 446 EPISODES

    4.3 from 1,044 ratings Listeners of Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life that love the show mention: ortberg, love dear, mallory's, advice column, slate plus, love mallory, carvell wallace, advice podcasts, thank you daniel, columns, fiance, mini episodes, toast, letters, excellent advice, sex positive, gives great advice, danny, empathetic, assume.


    Ivy Insights

    The Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life podcast is an incredible show that provides insightful and compassionate advice to listeners. Danny Ortberg, also known as Prudence, offers wisdom and guidance through various life experiences, including cross-continental moves, pregnancy, job changes, and the loss of loved ones. His ability to step back from the chaos of life and focus on what truly matters is commendable. Additionally, his one-liners are memorable and live rent-free in the minds of listeners.

    One of the best aspects of this podcast is Danny's combination of advice with philosophical musings and obscure cultural references. While some may go over the heads of listeners, they add depth and intellectual stimulation to the show. The addition of guest hosts like Aubrey Gordon allows for more in-depth discussions on various themes and topics. This new format provides more time for exploration and further enhances the podcast experience.

    However, there have been some criticisms regarding certain episodes where some feel the advice given was not as compassionate or helpful as expected. It's important to remember that everyone's perspective on what constitutes good advice differs. Despite this occasional criticism, overall, Danny has been praised for his humble and thoughtful approach to giving advice. He acknowledges when he may not have all the answers or if he feels uncertain about providing solid guidance.

    In conclusion, The Dear Prudence podcast is a must-listen for those who enjoy engaging with advice columns. Danny Ortberg delivers firm but compassionate guidance while addressing boundaries and social/political matters ethically. The inclusion of guest hosts adds variety to the show while maintaining its core essence. For anyone seeking thoughtful insights into relationships, work-life balance, family dynamics, or just simply wanting to escape their own problems by listening to others', this podcast is a true gem worth exploring.



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    Latest episodes from Dear Prudence | Advice on relationships, sex, work, family, and life

    Outward | Creating A Home for Trans Surgery Recovery

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2025 45:45


    This week, Jules Gill-Peterson sits down with Owen Dempsey, the founder of Quest Healing House, a post-op recovery home providing safe, affordable lodging and wraparound support for transmasculine people. They discuss how Quest House, began, the urgent need for trans-led recovery spaces, and how the project has grown to meet community needs. Dempsey shares their vision for a future where no trans person has to heal alone—and why it's so critical to talk about transition as an ongoing, years-long process. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Conversion Therapy and Survival with Lucas Wilson

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2025 45:20


    Bryan Lowder talks with writer and scholar Lucas Wilson about his new book, Shame Sex: Survivors' Stories of Conversion Therapy. They chat about Wilson's experience navigating same-sex attraction while on an evangelical path, experiencing conversion therapy, and the complicated relationships he experienced along the way. He also shares powerful stories from other survivors and explores the enduring harm of these practices, offering a poignant look at resilience, shame, and healing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: How Lesbian Artists Turned Renaissance Ruins Into Queer Spaces with Kate Thomas

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 11, 2024 35:09


    This week, Christina Cauterucci explores the intimate connections between queer identity and the natural world with Bryn Mawr professor Kate Thomas. In this episode, we journey through the lives of Florence Blood and Princess Ghika, two enigmatic lesbians who found self-expression, love, and freedom renovating their Italian Renaissance estate at the turn of the 20th century- creating an enchanting landscape to host lesbian artists and thinkers of the time. Thomas unpacks how their landscapes reflect their identities and what they can teach us about the enduring relationship between queerness and the environment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Masculinity and Muscles with Michael Andor Brodeur

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2024 42:27


    This week, Bryan Lowder chats with Michael Andor Brodeur, author of Swole: The Making of Men and the Meaning of Muscle, to unpack the complex intersections of fitness, masculinity, and queer identity. From the sweaty intimacy of the gym to the charged symbolism of muscle, Brodeur examines how bodies become sites of desire, power, and transformation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Sarah McBride's Win and the Rise of Anti-Trans Politics

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2024 42:42


    This week, the hosts come together to unpack Sarah McBride's groundbreaking win as the first openly transgender member of Congress. While the win is historic, Bryan, Jules, and Christina dig in to unpack the limits of representational politics and what it means for this win to exist alongside the emergence of anti-trans politics, which hit their all time high during this election cycle. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Gays in the Woods: History and Identity with Ben Miller

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2024 39:21


    In this episode, historian Ben Miller chats with Bryan Lowder about the surprising ways white gay men have romanticized the idea of the 'primitive' in their search for utopia. Ben shares stories about key figures like Harry Hay and the radical gay activism of the 70s that centered a 'back to the land' fantasy that relied on racialized fantasies of the past. Together, they explore how these fantasies shaped identities and political movements, revealing the strange allure of these ideas and their lasting impact on queer culture today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Building Movements with Gender Liberation March Organizers Raquel Willis and Eliel Cruz

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2024 44:18


    On September 14th 2024, thousands of people joined the Gender Liberation March in Washington D.C. to join the call to protect reproductive health, bodily autonomy, and comprehensive healthcare access. In this episode, Jules Gill-Peterson sits down with lead organizers Raquel Willis and Eliel Cruz to talk about the march and movement building during an election year. Raquel and Eliel share into their intersectional approach to organizing and how gender liberation frees us all.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: The Amicus Brief for U.S. v. Skrmetti with co-author Jules Gill Peterson

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2024 43:00


    On December 4th, the Supreme Court will hear arguments for U.S. v. Skrmetti, a case that could decide the fate of gender-affirming care for trans people across the country. Outward's own Jules Gill Peterson contributed to an amicus brief for the case, a document that provides expertise and historical context to assist the court in making it's decision. In this episode, Bryan and Christina reunite with Jules to break down her contributions to the document and dive into the history of transition and the powerful voices of trans youth from across time. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: The WNBA's Very Big Year: New Fandom, Renewed Homophobia? with Frankie de la Cretaz

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2024 37:59


    In this episode long-time friend of the show and longtime WNBA fan Daisy Rosario sits down with queer sports reporter Frankie de la Cretaz to chat about the historic 2024 WNBA season. In this episode, they dig into the celebration and tension as the WNBA's queer roots meet mainstream success. Can the league stay true to its queer community while taking on big-time sponsors and new fans?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: What Arabic LGBTQ+ Slang Tells Us with Marwan Kaabour

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 9, 2024 38:04


    In this episode long-time friend of the show June Thomas sits down with the editor of The Queer Arab Glossary, Marwan Kaboour. The glossary is the first published collection of Arabic LGBTQ+ slang and covers a wide range of dialects across the arab world. Marwan details how he decided to organize the glossary and what the words reveal about queer culture.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Fighting for Non-Binary Inclusivity in Athletics with Cal Calamia

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2024 44:00


    In this episode, Outward hosts Jules Gill-Peterson, Bryan Lowder, and Christina Cauterucci sit down with non-binary marathoner Cal Calamia to talk about their journey into competitive racing. Cal shares how they first got into running and how their experiences as a non-binary, trans-masculine athlete have shaped their advocacy. From battling outdated USADA regulations on hormone therapy to pushing for non-binary categories in major marathons, Cal gives insight into the work they do to make competitive racing gender-inclusive. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: The LGBTQ Moments and Misses at the DNC with Madeline Ducharme

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2024 34:02


    In this episode, guest host Daisy Rosario talks to ‘What's Next' producer Madeline Ducharme about her experience at the DNC. They break down the queerest moments and examine the Democratic party's queer agenda. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Kamala Harris' Record on Trans Rights wit S.I. Rosenbaum and Josie Reisman

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2024 35:16


    This week Christina speaks to journalists S.I. Rosebaum and Josie Reisman about their Slate article Kamala Harris' Surprising Record on Trans Rights. From the national conference she convened to counter the “gay panic” and “trans panic” defense, to her denial of gender-affirming surgery for an incarcerated trans person, a look back on key moments in Kamala Harris' career reveal a complicated political track record on trans rights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Could the Kids Online Safety Act Harm Queer Youth?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2024 46:37


    This week Bryan, Jules, and Christina are joined by reporter Jasmine Mithani to talk about the Kids Online Safety Act. While protecting children from harmful material online seems like a win for everyone, some LGBTQ organizations fear that KOSA would be used to shut down LGBTQ+ content online and take away important resources for queer youth.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Dating Friends and Understanding Desire with Myisha Battle

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2024 45:15


    This week, Jules and Bryan are joined by dating coach and host of the KCRW podcast How's Your Sex Life, Myisha Battle. Myisha covers dating friends, understanding your own desire, and making connections in the real world.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Collecting LGBT+ History with Corey Serrant

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2024 40:07


    This week, Jules sits down with Art Specialist Corey Serrant from Swann Auction Galleries to chat about pieces from their upcoming LGBTQ+ Art, Material Culture & History auction and how they found the art in the first place. From an Ancient Roman bust who was an unlikely companion to famous writers to an invitation to the Weimar Republic's hottest lesbian bar, this collection spans centuries of queer life.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Is Telehealth the Answer for Gender Affirming Care? with Sohini Desai

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 7, 2024 41:42


    This week Jules speaks with journalist Sohini Desai about their latest article for Slate ‘Trans Health Care Is Under Attack. But Are Concierge Providers Really the Solution?' Together they break down what these services offer and whether they can make a meaningful difference for trans people accessing healthcare across the country.  Produced by Palace Shaw Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Project 2025 with Orion Rummler

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2024 23:35


    This week Bryan sits down with reporter Orion Rummler to break down Project 2025, conservative 920-page policy blueprint for a second Trump term. Orion's article ‘What is Project 2025? Here's the Heritage Foundation's vision for a second Trump term' looks at the widespread impact of these ideas for women, LGBTQ+ rights, families, education and the workforce. In this episode, we focus on the impact on LGBTQ rights and the danger of turning transness from a state of being to an ‘ideology'.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: “Bathroom Bills” Return with Nico Lang

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 24, 2024 39:24


    This week Bryan sits down with reporter Nico Lang to break down their recent Slate article ‘Anti-Trans “Bathroom Bills” Are Making a Major Comeback. Where's the Outrage?.They delve into the concerning return of ‘Bathroom Bills' and unpack what's different this time around, why it's taking root, and the larger strategy of this legislation. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: What's A Gender Doula?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2024 36:12


    In this episode, Jules talks to Gender Doula Eli Lawliet. They break down what it means to offer non-medical support to people during transition, the long history of trans support networks, and the value of ritual and spirituality during transition. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Can Animals Be Queer?

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2024 49:45


    This week Bryan, Christina, and Jules reunite for a classic Outward episode! They share their prides and provocations, set the gay agenda for July, and take on the recent spate of queer animal documentaries that beg the question: Can animals really be queer? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Iconic Queer Women's Spaces with June Thomas

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 12, 2024 45:50


    Jules and Bryan talk to former Outward Producer June Thomas about her new book A Place Of Our Own: Six Spaces that Shaped Queer Women's Culture. They take us from the commune to the feminist bookstore and discuss the world-building drive of the queer community. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Disrupting Food & Restaurant Culture with Chala June

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2024 35:37


    This week, Jules chats with Chala June (food writer and former associate editor at Bon Appetit) about what it is to queer food, the labor politics of the food service industry, and the camp of early Food Network programming. Click HERE to support Human Rights Campaign. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: The Trans History of the 1936 Olympics with Michael Waters

    Play Episode Listen Later May 29, 2024 34:27


    This week, Bryan dives into the world of sports to talk about the often obscured queer history of the Olympics with writer Michael Waters. Michael's new book ‘The Other Olympians: Fascism, Queerness, and the Making of Modern Sports' highlights the gripping true stories of pioneering trans and intersex athletes from the 1936 Olympics. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Behind the Scenes of ‘Gays Against Briggs' with Christina Cauterucci

    Play Episode Listen Later May 22, 2024 41:50


    This week Christina Cauterucci returns to Outward to talk with Bryan about her experience making ‘Slow Burn: Gays Against Briggs' and diving into one of the most consequential civil rights battles in American history: the first-ever statewide vote on gay rights. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Evolving Our Social Scripts - Queer Advice with Mathew Rodriguez

    Play Episode Listen Later May 15, 2024 37:42


    This week Bryan and Jules are joined by new contributor Mathew Rodriguez for a round of advice. They tackle who gets to use ‘they', raising polite and inclusive kids, and help one listener navigate the aggressive gender politics of straight weddings. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Queering the Map with Lucas LaRochelle

    Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 27:12


    This week Bryan talks to Lucas LaRochelle, the creator of the online platform Queering the Map. Queering the Map is a community-generated digital archive and map of LGBTQ2IA+ experiences around the globe. They dig into the map's beginnings, stories from the platform, and how this archive has been able to share queer joy, sorrow, and possibility across continents and in 23 languages.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Mary & George Brings the Historical Drama

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2024 41:33


    Former Outward producer June Thomas joins Bryan and Jules to chat about the very gay new series from Starz, Mary and George. They talk 16th-century sex and sexuality and share their prides, provocations, and the gay agenda for May.  Read What's Fact and What's Fiction in Mary & George from Slate Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Queer Trademark Law with Michael Goodyear

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 24, 2024 38:05


    This week, Jules and Bryan talk to Michael Goodyear about how trademark law is helping queer brands reclaim derogatory language. They dig into Dykes on Bikes and other early queer trademarks including the history of the rainbow flag we all know and love. You can read Michael's article ‘The Surprising Result of the Supreme Court Case That Allowed Slurs in Brands' on the Slate website.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: A History of the Gay Right with Neil J. Young

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 17, 2024 34:44


    This week Bryan talks to writer Neil J. Young about his new book Coming Out Republican: A History of the Gay Right. They dig into some of the inherent contradictions of the Gay Right and the pillars of their political strategy and reveal how central whiteness and maleness is to their politic.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Queer Crime Double Feature: Drive Away Dolls and Love Lies Bleeding

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 10, 2024 36:55


    On this week's episode, guest hosts Daisy Rosario and Madeline Duchamp break down the new lesbian caper films Drive Away Dolls and Love Lies Bleeding. They dig into the joy of queer bars, Kristen Stewart's soft butch coming out, and the newly iconic Katie O'Brien. Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Trace Lysette on the Hollywood Rollercoaster

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 27, 2024 37:26


    In this episode, Trace Lysette (Transparent, Hustlers) talks about her critically acclaimed film Monica, with Jules. The film tells the story of a trans woman returning home after decades of estrangement from her dying mother, and was the first-ever film led by an out trans actor to debut at the Venice Film Festival. Jules talks to Trace about the layers of her performance and the rollercoaster experience of making and campaigning the film. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Chase Strangio, Continued. Trans Visibility and Community

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 20, 2024 21:06


    This week, we're sharing more of our interview with Trans rights activist and ACLU Lawyer Chase Strangio. In this episode, Bryand and Jules ask Chase about his recent New York Times op-ed Trans Visibility Is Nice. Safety Is Even Better. They also talk about how hyper-visibility does not equate safety, and what we all risk losing when we lose trans rights.  Email us at outwardpod@slate.com Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Chase Strangio on the Anti-Trans Legislation Landscape

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 13, 2024 57:06


    2023 was a record-breaking year for anti-trans legislation and with over 500 bills introduced in 2024 it's shaping up to be another critical year for statutory rights for trans people. This week, Bryan and Jules review the damage done in 2023 and look at the implications for anti-trans legislation this year with Chase Strangio, Deputy Director for Transgender Justice with the ACLU's LGBT & HIV Project. Email us at outwardpod@slate.com Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Tennessee's LGBTQ Affirming Churches

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 6, 2024 27:18


    In this episode Bryan speaks with Reporter Jessica Bateman about her recent Washington Post article ‘They found spiritual joy. They won't have it taken away. That details the importance of LGBTQ-affirming churches in Tennessee and the challenges they face.  Email us at outwardpod@slate.com Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Polyamory and Other Non-monogamous Advice

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 28, 2024 39:30


    From 52 first dates to 8 boyfriends at once, Ashley Ray is a poly expert here to answer your relationship questions and demystify some poly terms. Today, Bryan and Ashley dive into the perils of unicorn hunters, metamour drama, and what to do with jealous feelings.  Email us at outwardpod@slate.com Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: True Detective: Night Country's Lesbian Subtext

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 21, 2024 36:04


    This week, Bryan is joined by Slate's Madeline Ducharme to solve the mystery of True Detective: Night Country's queer undertones. Together, they whip out the detective corkboard and read between the lines of Jodie Foster's ‘mommie'-like character and Kali Reis' cheek piercings and come up with some interesting theories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: The Inherent Queerness of Poetry

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 14, 2024 33:57


    This Valentine's Day Poet Cyrée Jarelle Johnson is joined by Outward producer Palace Shaw to share poems and chat about the inherent queerness of poetry and romance. They get into disabled approaches to sex, the trope of the queer doppelganger date, and give some advice to all the queer lovers out there. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: A Short History of Transmisogyny with Jules Gill-Peterson

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 7, 2024 48:54


    Outward's own Jules Gill-Peterson has a new book, A Short History of Transmisogyny, that gives insight into a fascinating queer history that stretches across time and around the world. In this episode, Bryan and Jules dig deep into the origins of transmisogyny and the liberatory beauty of trans femininity Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: All of Us Strangers' Ghosts and Gays

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 31, 2024 44:23


    This week, Jules and Bryan join Slate Editor Jeffrey Bloomer to take on the spooky and surreal of All Of Us Strangers, a new film from director Andrew Haigh. Plus, prides, provocations, and delicious new additions to the gay agenda. Podcast production by Palace Shaw.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    Outward: Your Queer Queries, Answered!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 24, 2024 44:22


    Danny Lavery and Madeline Ducharme join Bryan in taking on your uniquely queer queries, like- what to do when your facial piercing helps everyone remember your name- but you can't remember theirs. White lies about homophobia, queer kids coming out, philosophical questions, and more in this latest round of Outward advice.  Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    queer outward queries madeline ducharme danny lavery
    Outward: The Outing of Bubba Copeland

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 17, 2024 34:01


    This week Bryan Lowder sits down with Evan Urquhart of Assigned Media, a news site dedicated to daily coverage of anti-trans propaganda and its effects to discuss his latest article ‘The Outing of Bubba Copeland' for Slate. Bubba Copeland was the Mayor of Smiths Station who was outed for having an online trans-identity by a conservative news website and later that week committed suicide. Bryan and Evan discuss how this outing reflects the wave of anti-trans legislation. Podcast production by Palace Shaw. Email us at outwardpodcast@slate.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    mayors slate bubba copeland outward outing evan urquhart smiths station bryan lowder

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