How the Quest Was Won

The party talks a lot about what future adventures they are going to undertake. Vistra still struggles with her own accent. Bob gives a history lesson on the fantasy Cold War. Angelica argues with Cassalynn again. Hugo talks to a pigeon.     | NPC Names: Cassalynn, Lamarck the Merchant, Boss Wheedlin |

The party enters the wrestling ring. Angelica is worried about her sword. Hugo grabs a drum. Bob rubs himself in oil. Vistra fights dirty.   | NPCs Names: Boss Wheedlin, Zeega, Plox, Stink, the Masked Maven, Herod “the Hero” Strongback |

The party continues to wrestle in the Brawlhalla. Angelica gets punched a lot. Bob sends Stephen into battle. Hugo plays the horn. Vistra plays the trombone.

The party turns on one another as Brawlhalla comes to its thrilling conclusion! Vistra wrestles in front of her congregation. Hugo can’t differentiate between giants. Bob becomes small again. Angelica has two knees.

The part confronts Chamberlain D’Roux. Vistra sticks her foot in a door. Angelica completely forgets her own quest. Hugo stabs a guy. Bob just wants to talk it out.   | NPC Names: Boss Wheedlin, Chamberlain D’Roux, Eugene |

The party regroups and goes to Vistra’s house. Bob learns about Phyloran current events. Vistra learns about her companions’ crimes. Hugo doesn’t have the face of a criminal. Angelica hugs her sword.   | NPC Names: Chamberlain D’Roux, Brother Maltus, Captain Tallulah |

The party sails north to Cryker. Hugo asks four questions. Angelica tries to catch a seagull. Vistra throws things. Bob capsizes a boat.   | NPC Names: Captain Talulah |

The party arrives back in Cryker and rents mounts. Hugo speaks to a horse. Angelica threatens a horse. Vistra goes back to bed. Bob uses magic to make two new friends.   | NPC Names: Captain Talulah, Ehd the Pony, Dahn the Horse, Harryh the Pony, Cowahrd the Horse |

The party has split themselves again. Hugo is still good at killing animals. Angelica wants to retreat, then fight, then retreat again, actually wait fight more. Bob and Vistra honestly aren’t in this one very much.

The party thinks that they have found an evil artifact. Bob talks to a zombie. Vistra doesn’t fall for Bob’s bullshit. Angelica invents tweeting. Hugo knows about the cube-square law of magic.   | NPC Names: “Frederick” |

The party battles a monster as they drift down into the darkness. Angelica is bad at archery. Bob grabs Vistra’s face. Vistra gets to be big. Hugo throws his dagger away.

The party arrives at Myn-zab-na-tlawa, the city of the dark elves. Angelica has an oil lamp. Hugo gets shrunk. Vistra’s hands are tied. Bob pees himself.

The party learns some important plot information about the shadow wights. Bob(athalien) negotiates with the dark elf Shadowspeaker. Angelica and Vistra are still tied up. Hugo grants absolution to a parishioner.

The party faces off with Shadowspeaker and her guards in the pinnacle of the Obsidian Fane. Bob curses dark elf interior design. Hugo is still good at killing. Vistra knocks out someone’s tooth. Angelica only loves her sword.

The party meets unexpected allies while escaping from the Fane of the Darkness. Angelica fakes her way through some introductions. Bob wants to buy a ticket. Hugo gets surrounded. Vistra neither has nor is proficient with thieves’ tools.   | NPC Names: Smut, Toothcrust, Poison Pie |

The party makes an unlikely ally. Vistra forgets the code word. Hugo wants to share potions. Angelica fights from the back. Bob joins the Fangeliclub.

The party finally escapes from the city of the shadow elves. Vistra is 200 lbs of solid dwarf. Hugo grabs some mushrooms. Bob goes to the bathroom. Angelica takes no responsibility.   | NPC Names: Angeliclone, Darksoul Saltine, Smut, Poison Pie, Toothcrust |

The party begins their overland journey to the Fetid Fens, where the Oracle of Gorthmar is located. Angelica wants to prank the Mountain Clan. Vistra gives mushrooms to some guards. Hugo tries to spike some wine. Bob finally succeeds at telling a lie.   | NPC Names: Jehan |

The party enters the Waking Woods. Hugo has a secret spell. Bob makes some tea. Vistra questions Hugo’s survivability. Angelica doesn’t want to offend the fairies.

The party faces more plant dangers in the Waking Woods. Bob makes a beige, art-deco hut. Angelica becomes Enlargica. Vistra flexes her way out of a grapple. Hugo tries to use ‘the poor man’s fire spell’.

The party arrives in the fishing village of Westweir and learns about the dangers of Fetid Fens. Vistra meets a fellow devotee of Atonath. Hugo wants to know how much he is getting paid. Bob makes a new friend. Angelica has a family reunion.

The party enters the Fetid Fens. Angelica worries about her complexion. Hugo volunteers to go in first. Vistra wants to try and sneak. Bob plays chess, in a way.

The party has to gain the trust of Dregha Three-Tusks. Vistra uses everyone’s real names. Angelica is all about vengeance! Bob wishes that he had some paprika. Hugo can have little a leg, as a treat.

The party must infiltrate the orc fortress of Kûn-Gorthm’ad. Vistra didn’t realize that she drank orc milk. Bob mouths off and gets smacked. Hugo smells a smelly smell. Angelica really doesn’t want to be exhausted.

The party fights the orc Inquisitor. Bob falls unconscious a lot. Angelica was born to wear a crown. Hugo gets to be a dinosaur this time. Vistra’s aura saves a life.

The party now has two out of three Skulls of the Darkness and must prepare for rescuing Nyx’s soul. Bob thinks about somebody that he used to know. Hugo remembers Nutmeg, thankfully. Angelica triumphs over leeches. Vistra makes a deal.   | NPC Names: Dregha Three-Tusks , Prince Drylus Bane, Othor the Blessed, Chamberlain D’Roux |

CW: blood, sacrifices to a dark god, assisted suicide (with planned resurrection)   The party sacrifices themselves to the Oracle of Gorthmar in order to enter the Darkness. Angelica formulates a plan… to protect her valuables. Hugo wishes one of his mortal enemies was around. Vistra goes first. Bob asks an unexpected question.

The party attempts to navigate the barren and hostile environment of the Darkness. Bob names a new friend. Angelica didn’t have a good Wisdom score to begin with. Hugo has all of his daggers. Vistra climbs on Angelica’s back twice.

The party enters the Tower of Shades. Vistra investigates the architecture. Bob looks in a mirror. Hugo greets a fellow musician. Angelica plugs her ears.

The party attempts to run away from the hungry Baba Lwerga. Angelica does her usual shouting. Vistra *the paladin* doesn’t want to help. Hugo takes the cat. Bob stands alone.

The party discusses how much they all weigh. Vistra’s ability scores are getting low. Bob consults his Keen Mind. Angelica reunites with her ex. Hugo has an appointment.

The party puts their escape “plan” in motion. Vistra has a solo fight. Bob explains things poorly. Angelica tries to make a deal. Hugo suggests becoming independent contractors.

The party faces off against one of the ancient servants of the Darkness. Hugo throws daggers. Angelica needs to see a therapist. Bob misty steps, like a goon. Vistra gets to fight Carzana one-on-one.

The party makes a hard(?) choice. Nyx is back! Bob puts his jeweler’s tools to work. Hugo just wanted to keep his options open. Angelica doesn’t feel personally responsible.

The party returns to the land of the living. Bob kinda liked Gorthmar. Nyx becomes paranoid. Angelica wants to give a speech. Hugo is rude to the innkeeper.

The party has to keep their end of the bargain. Bob wonders if there will be consequences for what they’ve done. Nyx uses a spooky voice. Hugo talks to a pigeon again. Angelica is loud drunk.

The party returns to Alharbron, but finds it a little different. Bob makes a new friend. Nyx gains some local knowledge. Angelica doesn't know how much a great sword costs. Hugo thinks of a clever engraving.

The party visits the Tipping Tankard Inn. Angelica challenges everyone to a game of chance. Nyx takes bets. Hugo does his best not to lie to a priest. Bob guesses the right password.

The party sails north towards the city of the glacier elves. Hugo talks to a new animal. Bob casually mentions his death. Nyx wants to take advantage of someone's gambling problem. Angelica practices with her new hammer.   NPC Names: Captain Turonde Drakebane, Kelon Floewatcher, Tepa   Place Names: Eitra-fyr-Ystr'ma

The party must defend the ship from attacking sea yetis. Nyx and Bob bust out some powerful new spells. Angelica goes for a swim. Hugo gets tossed.

The party sets off to rescue their kidnapped guide. Hugo uses a new ranger ability. Angelica is good at climbing ice. Nyx goes scouting. Bob makes a scarf.

The party must save a penguin (and a half elf) from a fearsome abominable sea yeti. Angelica sneaks unsuccessfully. Nyx tastes yeti. Bob learns how Concentration works. Hugo almost gets Steven-ed.

The party arrives at last in the land of the glacier elves. Angelica is upset about the smell. Hugo is challenged to a game of dragon chess. Nyx speaks to a barman with a rich backstory. Bob has a soak.   | NPC Names: Captain Turonde Drakebane, Kelon Floewatcher, Tepa, Old Man Hagen |   | Place Names: Polynya, Eitra-fyr-Ystr'ma |

The party (well, half the party) meets with the glacier elf Frostspeaker. Angelica muses in the wind. Nyx is diplomatic. Hugo speaks to a new animal. Bob is skeptical of this whole “plan.”   Bonus Episode-within-an-Episode: “What's Fei Eating?”   | NPC Names: Bald Craig, Gelvar, Frostspeaker Selu'al, Rimepaw the Snow Leopard, Larfin |   | Place Names: Eitra-fyr-Ystr'ma, Polynya |

The party goes to the glacier elf Academy to learn about climate science. Angelica has given up on diplomacy. Nyx wants people to look at her. Bob becomes ‘Globothiathan.' Hugo is back in his favored terrain.   | NPC Names: Q'aviiren |

The party heads back to the glacier elf city with the stolen ice core drill. Bob can do math. Hugo just wants to figure it all out when they get there. Nyx doesn't stop the sled. Angelica is not stealthy.

*Not technically a beast, that's why Hugo couldn't use speak with animals.   The party regrets messing with the frost worm. Bob targets the duodenum. Angelica decides to actually be a tank. Hugo jumps on. Nyx ponders what would gross out a worm.

The party learns about their rescuer. Angelica is eager to swear to secrecy. Bob isn't very trusting. Nyx plays sea shanties. Hugo mills around.   | NPC Names: Rajiaga of the G'eg-my'ri, Old Man Hagen |

The party fails at convincing two frost giants that they are harmless scientists. Queen of Darkness Nyx experiments with command. Bob says he has no useful spells, but he does have Drummy. Angelica embraces her role as tank. Hugo takes his important spine responsibility very seriously. 

The party continues their battle against the frost giant mammothherds. Angelica's rally becomes useless. Nyx suggests a durable creature, like a horse. Bob ignores this suggestion. Hugo injects a mammoth. Drummy helps.

The party goes to the First Glacial Bank to deposit a frost worm egg. Angelica is unimpressed by the size of the pumpkin. Hugo creates a fake name. Nyx has some gold she can lend. Bob cackles evilly.

The party faces off against an everice golem guarding the Rimeskate Boots. Nyx casts some very needed haling spells. Angelica lights a torch while invisible. Hugo attacks the golem in the short time that he is conscious. Bob wonders if he is wearing pants.

The party faces off against the Frostspeaker and their guards as they try to escape the Icevaults. Hugo tries to talk his way out of this. Nyx does not come quietly. Bob regrets not grabbing that magic ring. Angelica hoists Bob on her shoulder.

A new party travels to Ondral'or the Garden Isle to retrieve the evergreen sash. Cassalynn takes charge. Angharrad plays checkers. Bramblebeard puts things in his beard. Brother Maltus goes to the right place.   | Place Names: Ondral'or, B'rho-me-Lasht the Hanging City | | NPC Names: Greenspeaker Dorvuu, Gleba | | Game: Floria the Verdant Way | 

The party hustles to get all the key parts and make it to the Arbor of the World before they turn into topiaries. Bramblebeard gets stuck in a tree. Cassalynn stages a rescue. Both Angharrad and Brother Maltus are horrified by their herbs.

The party begins their battle with the Hardwood Sentry and two topiaries. Bramblebeard uses beard magic. Cassalynn realizes she is competent. Angharrad begins to rediscover her feelings for Bramblebeard. Brother Maltus bumbles around with his her magic.

The party continues their battle. Cassalynn deals a lot of damage. Brother Maltus discovers his healing abilities. Bramblebeard and Angharrad reignite their love. 

The party leaves behind the frost elves and sail for the realm of the Ash Elves. Angelica attunes to a spear. Hugo meets up with a friend. Nyx comforts Hugo. Bob tells us about a long lost aunt. 

The party searches the Golden City for Bob's aunt. Bob tries to defend his wizard-niche. Nyx meets another bard. Angelica is still looking for a romantic partner for her brother. Hugo doesn't have many questions about love.   | NPC Names: Splendorous Phyal, Auntie Tasha, Graldo of the Was-Tal Lineage |

The party meets their competition for the Battle Royale! Nyx wants to start a newspaper. Bob comes up with a new pseudonym. Angelica meets some fellow nobles. Hugo talks strategy with an old friend.   Other Teams: 1. Kyrah the Cleaver, the Masked Maven, Dorala, Laurine Brightstar 2. Huyin of the Gymar Lineage, Vessus of the T'bray Lineage, Pollo and Teliah of the Zaragim Lineage 3. Felix Button, Rephin Button, Esche, Dazhival 4. Sylak, Narkizze, T'raxa, Shuvex 5. Iophil, G'myno, Keyleeph, Splendorous Phyal

The party jumps out of the hot-air dirigible and starts looking for good loot. Nyx cheated. Hugo regrets not scoping out locations. Bob casts a spell immediately. Angelica finds a useful item.

The party fights the ash elf team over the loot in an air drop crate. Angelica is very excited about her morning star. Bob tries to act honorably. Hugo gets covered in bad things. Nyx uses a lot of area of effect spells.   | NPC Names: Iophil, G'myno, Keyleeph, Splendorous Phyal |

The party gets third partied by the dragonborn team! Angelica shoots a crossbow. Bob casts witchbolt. Hugo finally gets to hit things. Nyx makes Bob into a T-rex.    | NPC Names: Iophil, G'myno, Keyleeph, Splendorous Phyal |

The party is still fighting against the dragonborn team. Bob doesn't see the value in the mage armor spell. Nyx can't come up with a rhyme. Angelica makes an obscure quote. Hugo might be unconscious for the whole episode.

The party arrives at the Colosseum of Blood and finds the rest of the Battle Royale competitors! Angelica wants to preserve her alliance with the nobles. Bob faces the consequences of his actions. Nyx casts her favorite spell (make Bobasaurus). Hugo faces a moral delimma.

Three teams remain in the Battle Royale! Bobasaurus continues his rampage. Nyx makes a new enemy. Angelica reminds us of a forged alliance. Hugo heals himself instead of helping.

The party comes to the end of the battle. Bob gets shrunk back to himself. Nyx gets annoyed at Ash elves. Angelica gets knocked out. Hugo kills some nobles. 

The party receives their winnings from the Battle Royale. Hugo opens a chest. Nyx apparently knew the identify spell this whole time. Angelica poses for the scryers. Bob tells the Cinderspeaker the whole plan.

A nautical party assembles to retrieve the Elemental Vestige of Storm! Captain Turonde Drakebane is upstanding. Captain “Skabs” Skarabaus is always looking out for a good deal. Kelon Floewatcher is a better Spock. “Captain” Tallulagh is the master of her own destiny.

The party continues to flesh out their backstories. Captain “Scabs” Skarabaus tells the story of how he got his nickname. Captain Tallulagh recounts a past victory. Captain Turonde Drakebane remembers an old “friend.” Kelon Floewatcher explains how he and Tepa met.

The party travels to Phylor to acquire a ship. Captain Tallulagh visits the Yacht Club. Captain Turonde Drakebane chats with the dock workers. Cap'n Scabs tries to bargain. Kelon Floewatcher is looking for love.

The party tries (again) to acquire a ship. Captain Tallulagh brawls. Captain Scabs knows his wines. Kelon Floewatcher (briefly) deals some cards. Captain Turonde Drakebane gambles.

The party gets their new ship, The Gambler's Revenge, ready to sail. Kelon Floewatcher, “just a dude,” has a Wealth score of 0. Captain Drakebane only recruits women sailors. Captain Tallulagh catches some fanciful tilapia. Cap'n Scabs knows a guy.

The party embarks! Cap'n Scabs calls out orders. Captain Tallulagh wants to sail into a storm. Captain Turonde Drakebane doesn't see anything on the horizon. Kelon Floewatcher has a pendant with emotional value.

The party sails to the Pirate Isles to steal the Pearl Pendant of the Pirate Prince. Kelon doesn't know the differences between a crate and a barrel. Captain Talullagh is trained in first aid. Captain Turonde Drakebane invents a Pirate Princess. Cap'n Scabs climbs in a box.

CONTENT WARNING: In this episode, some of the adventurers climb through a sewer and it is really gross.   The party continues their heist to steal the Pearl Pendant of the Pirate Prince. Cap'n Scabs technically already has the Pearl Pendant. Captain Turonde Drakebane suggests a bad plan. Captain Talullagh is fearless (and nasty). Kelon Floewatcher is worried that someone will be using the privy.

The party sneaks through the Plunder Palace towards the vault. Captain Turonde Drakebane wants to wash his hands. Kelon Floewatcher keeps lookout. Captain Talullagh invokes “Jack Tar.” Cap'n Scabs doesn't do much.

The party escapes and goes for the next piece of treasure. Cap'n Scabs has a keen eye. Captain Turonde Drakebane keeps lookout. Captain Talullagh doesn't want to leave the ice wizard. Kelon Floewatcher refuses to give his new friend.

The party tends to their wounds. Cap'n Scabs brags about his loot. Captain Turonde Drakebane has good bedside manner. Captain Tallulagh gets an infection. Kelon Floewatcher talks about appendix surgery.

The party arrives at the Black Lotus Resort in search of the Last Lost Sundrop. Kelon Floewatcher is the only one with darkvision. Cap'n Scabs tries to get the best room. Captain Turonde Drakebane tips well, Captain Tallulagh does not.

The party enters battle with the Dawnrazer, the ship of Pirate Prince Ramsestadt the Rotund. Cap'n Scabs gives a sterling speech. Captain Talullagh keeps the ship steady. Kelon Floewatcher intimidates the crew. Captain Turonde Drakebane scopes out the enemy's “guns” (ballistas).

Yargh! The party have their very first boarding of a different ship in this high seas adventure. Tallulagh fights with a pipe. Kelon uses a rope against Robert the Sponge. Captain Drakebane kills Gerard the Butler. Captain Scabs uses his magical rope to get himself a new title.

TW: This episode deals a lot with hags. There are creepy houses, body horror, gross things, hags eating people, etc.   The party bargains with a hag. Pirate Prince Scabs gets a promotion. Captain Tallulagh want to help, but is maimed. Captain Turonde Drakebane wants to use his “fair face” on the hags. Kelon Floewatcher is interested in haglore. Tepa burbles (he doesn't know speak with humanoids).

The party throws a party. Captain Drakebane can't afford fine wine. Captain Tallulagh is a bully. Kelon Floewatcher goes dumpster diving. Commodore Scabs calls out for otters.

The party prepares to set out for the Blood Sand Shoals, but has an unfortunate surprise. Commodore Scabs and Captain Drakebane get a new "upgrade". Captain Tallulagh is sad about missing out. Kelon Floewatcher finds some crabs.

The party sails into the Blood Sand Shoals. Captain Talullagh wants a blood crab. Captain Turonde Drakebane navigates. Commodore Scabs comes closer to his rival. Kelon Floewatcher asks about ship insurance.

The party boards the Wavecrasher and searches for the Amulet of the Sea. Commodore Scabs makes a new friend and the GM has to do a parrot voice. Kelon has a cousin named Milk. Captain Drakebane fights a whip-wielding tempest elf. Talullagh is saved by a technical difficulty.

The party battles Commodore Scabs' old enemy, the tempest elf Captain Volar Mistseeker. Kelon Floewatcher is already maimed. Commodore Scabs is wielding a magic rope. Captain Turonde Drakebane gives lassoing advice. Captain Talullagh tries to take over the ship.

The finale of our Beat to Quarters adventure. Captain Turonde Drakebane negotiates for a showdown. Captain Talullagh regrets hunting blood crabs. Commodore Scabs has no weapon for the boss fight. Kelon Floewatcher embarks on a new quest.

The original party is back and heading to the land of the mistral elves. Hugo is still mad at Bob. Angelica is also still mad at Bob. Bob hasn't personally wronged Nyx… yet. Nyx orders drinks.

The party learns more about the mistral elves. Nyx is too good at skill checks. Bob lets his cat take watch. Hugo and Angelica kinda just look around.

The party speaks to the mistral elf Windspeaker. Nyx wants to be honest (for once). Angelica is persuasive, as a noble. Hugo on the other hand, is not persuasive. Bob doesn't even know what a fife is.