Inspiration from the Couch

Sometimes our minds wander to a dark place. In today's episode, we talk all about this experience: what we tend to think about, situations or circumstances that might lead to this, how it feels, how we take care of ourselves in such moments, and how we get out of the dark place. We talk about the power of naming our dark moments, as well as the dangers of living with too much of this. 

When should we be silent? When should we speak up? What happens when we overshare? Today, we're talking all about communication! We examine when silence is beneficial vs. when it feels oppressive. We touch on how social media affects how people communicate and can add to environmental “noise.” We also talk about the other end of the continuum—oversharing—how it happens, why we do it, the consequences of it, and how to handle being on the receiving end of it. Lastly, we briefly touch on situations in which it's very important to speak up. 

Are you a “good girl”? Or have you felt pressure to be “good”? All three of us definitely answer YES to these questions! Today, we're talking about what makes a good girl, exploring how this looks both when we're younger and as we age. We examine the connection to shame and guilt, which keep us trapped in the good girl role. We identify cultural factors and conditioning that plant the seeds for and reinforce the good girl identity. After sharing our own experiences, we talk about the perks and downsides of taking on a good girl identity. Song: Ablaze by Alanis Morissette

Have you ever experienced a wake up call? Even if you've never literally received a phone call to wake you up, have you ever had something happen in your life that “woke you up” to a particular situation? In today's episode, we talk about wake up calls we've experienced personally, and we touch on various events that have served as cultural wake up calls on a larger scale. We end the episode by discussing what can happen when we ignore wake up calls and how we can better “stay awake” in our day to day lives. 

Today's episode is all about one of our favorite activities—sleep! Join Jamie, Avery, and Lucy as they talk about all things sleep - how much, when, and what gets in the way or good sleep. We share our own preferences, struggles, and a little bit of scientific information. We also provide some practical tips to improve sleep and “stop the struggle” if you're having trouble sleeping. 

We are thrilled to welcome Dr. Ramani Durvasula to the couch today! She is a licensed clinical psychologist and author of several books including It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. We begin this episode with a conversation about how Dr. Ramani defines narcissism as a personality style and what kind of red flags to look out for in our relationships. We discuss the intersection of narcissism and self-abandonment, what keeps people in relationship with narcissists, and radical acceptance. Dr. Ramani tells us why you don't need to call out a narcissist, and when it's ok not to forgive. We end the episode with a discussion about healing from a narcissistic relationship and the grief, excavation and integration that happen in the process. If you want to learn more from Dr. Ramani, you can find her on YouTube where her compelling videos on how to heal from narcissistic relationships have accumulated millions of views.  Check out her website to learn more about her podcast, Navigating Narcissism with Dr. Ramani, the Healing Program, and interactive platform, the Dr. Ramani Network. https://doctor-ramani.com/https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorRamanihttps://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/710202/its-not-you-by-ramani-durvasula-phd/

What in your life do you dread? How do you experience dread? What's the point of dread? How do we make our dread go away?  We dive into all these questions in today's podcast. Jamie, Avery, and Lucy share their own experiences with dread, and we explore the different ways dread can show up (e.g., Avery's dread is more anxiety based, and Lucy and Jamie's dread is more like “I don't wanna do this!”). We explored the overlap among dread, anxiety, and depression. We talk about how dread comes up for clients in our clinical practices. Lastly we talked about how to manage and reduce our experiences of dread.  

Jamie, Lucy, and Avery have found self-compassion to be incredibly helpful in their own lives and in the lives of their clients. In this episode, we talk specifically about how we use self-compassion as parents. We've found self-compassion to be especially useful in parenting situations where we are feeling judgment for ourselves or our kids, during transitions, when we are in conflict or feeling irritable, when we need a break, when we're making a difficult parenting decision or setting a limit, when we're feeling regretful about the past or worried about the future, and really whenever we're suffering. In these situations, we've noticed that simply naming and observing our thoughts and feelings and getting curious about them (rather than judging them) to be an important first step. Validating and tending to our own feelings can help us feel more calm and clear. Another helpful component of self-compassion is recognizing the common humanity of our experience. When we recognize that we are not the only ones having a particular issue, we feel less isolated. Taking self-compassion breaks, practicing loving-kindness meditation, and visualizing the presence of a supportive person in our lives can help us remember this important tool. 

Avery, Jamie, and Lucy are so excited to interview mother-daughter relationship expert, Hilary Truong, MA, LPC! Hilary is a leading voice on keeping mothers and daughters in relationship through the teenage years and beyond. Join us as we discuss what people get wrong about the mother-daughter relationship, what moms and daughters most need from each other, the unique pressures we face as moms, and helpful strategies to repair the mother-daughter relationship. Where to find Hilary:www.hilarymae.comwww.instagram.com/hilarymaecohttps://hilarymaeco.samcart.com/products/mother-daughter-conversation-game

In this episode, we discuss resentment-how it feels, what kinds of situations may cause it, and what we can do about it. Resentment is defined as a negative feeling in response to a perception of unfairness or being mistreated. We discuss various negative feelings that come up when we're experiencing resentment and talk through some examples of situations that have made us feel resentful in our own lives. Resentment can make us feel angry, irritable, and on edge and can affect our relationships. We review strategies to help manage our feelings and directly address situations that cause us to feel resentful. 

In this episode, we revisit the topic of adult connection and the importance of adult friendships. We review the mental health benefits of social connection (hint: it's more important than diet and exercise for longevity!). We talk about the advantage of the friend role as compared to other roles. We also discuss what it takes to be a “good friend” and what to do if a friendship becomes unhealthy. Lastly, we provide some advice for deepening friendships. 

In today's episode we talk about the parts and pieces of ourselves that we've lost along the way. Some of these might be aspects of ourselves we're glad to be rid of (like people pleasing or caring about what other people think), whereas there might be other facets of ourselves (like seeking adventure or having/feeling fun) that we'd like to reclaim. We explore how this comes up in our lives and the lives of our clients, driving factors, and ways to notice and reintegrate missing pieces that we like and want back. 

Perseverance and grit are great to teach our kids but when is it appropriate for them to quit or change directions? In today's episode, we talk about all of the complicated reasons that we may pressure our kids to stay with things longer than what's good for their well-being (including our “own stuff” as parents!). We talk about why quitting can be courageous and how you can assist your kids in taking ownership over that. We give pointers and strategies on how to approach the “quitting” conversation and highlight the importance of curiosity and intentionality.Resource:https://www.amazon.com/Quitting-Strategy-Perseverance_and-Science-Giving/dp/1538722348

Today's episode is all about fostering financial literacy in our teens and young adults. We start with some of the main financial related concerns we hear from kids during and after college, and we work backwards, highlighting specific tools and skills we can teach our kids before they leave home. We explore methods of payment, tipping, budgeting, and allowance/income. We also talk about natural opportunities to grow these skills, as well as opportunities for financially oriented natural consequences (e.g., how to respond when your teen loses her laptop stylus for the 3rd time in 3 months!). Lastly, we highlight how financial literacy can be complicated: it's hard to talk openly and directly about finances, and money tends to stir up all kinds of emotions (which makes it even more uncomfortable). 

We sometimes forget that one of the most effective things we can do as parents is to simply get out of our kids' way. In today's episode we talk about the importance of allowing our kids to face natural consequences. We touch on issues that can make it difficult for us as parents to take a step back, and we review specific strategies to help us “get out of the way.” We talk about specific life skills that are easier for our kids to develop without our interference and when it can be helpful to offer support. 

In today's episode, we focus on disappointment, a feeling most of us don't name or talk about enough. We explore what makes disappointment a harder emotion to acknowledge, highlighting the tendency to quickly detour to anger, judgment, shame, or embarrassment. We discuss our own experiences with disappointment. We talk about how disappointment often presents, including the thoughts, feelings, and body sensations that tend to accompany it. We notice that there's power in being able to name our disappointment – the trick is in letting disappointment coexist with other, often contradictory, emotions. We explore the relationship between disappointment and our expectations (there's a strong relationship between these two!), and we talk more specifically about how disappointment shows up in parenting. Lastly we discuss both unhelpful (maladaptive) and helpful (more effective) ways to cope with disappointment. 

It's our 100th episode! We mark the occasion by talking about milestones and taking a walk down memory lane. We discuss the different lessons we've learned along the way and relive some of our favorite moments on the podcast. We talk about some of the struggles and disappointments we've faced along the way too. One of our favorite parts of doing the podcast is getting to hear from our listeners and we'd love to hear from you! Drop us a line at connect@badassrebellion.comAnd please don't forget to rate our podcast on itunes!Check out some of our favorite episodes:Episode 3 Playhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-3-play/Episode 5 Trance of Scarcity Book Clubhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-5-the-trance-of-scarcity/Episode 7 Do It Afraidhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-7-do-it-afraid/Episode 13 Compassionhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-13-compassion/Episode 31 Intentional Holiday Seasonhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-31-intentional-holiday-season/Episode 34 Joyhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-34-joy/Episode 38 Comforthttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-38-comfort/Episode 40 Healthy Relationships, Part 1https://badassrebellion.com/episode-40-healthy-relationships-part-1/Episode 41 Healthy Relationships, Part 2https://badassrebellion.com/ep-41-healthy-relationships-part-2/Episode 46 Swimsuit Seasonhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-46-swimsuit-season/Episode 55 Dialecticshttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-55-dialectics/Episode 84 Not Enoughnesshttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-84-not-enoughness/Episode 86 You and Themhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-86-you-and-them/Episode 87 Being Human with Taylor White Moffitthttps://badassrebellion.com/ep-87-being-human-with-taylor-white-moffitt/Episode 90 Unicorn Space with Eve Rodskyhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-90-unicorn-space-with-eve-rodsky/Episode 93 Delights of Decemberhttps://badassrebellion.com/episode-93-delights-of-december/

Today, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery discuss the often misunderstood emotion, envy. In short, envy can occur when someone has something or is doing something that you want for yourself! It often involves some sort of social comparison, usually with people who are similar to us in some way. We talk about the difference between envy and jealousy and why envy often feels “worse.” We share our own experiences with envy, a universal emotion, and what happens when we ignore it.. We also explore the upsides of envy and why it's important to label envy when it crops up.Resources:https://www.eliseloehnen.com/onourbestbehaviorhttps://www.instagram.com/backwards_hat_dancer/

Love is on our mind as we're preparing for Valentine's Day, and today we're talking about self-love. While we may not be super-fans of the terminology (something about the phrase kind of gives us the ick), but we do actually do love the concept. In this episode, we define “self-love” as loving ourselves unconditionally and taking care of ourselves the way we would someone we love. We touch on the beautiful book The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor and talk about the quote by Glennon Doyle:  “I have met myself and I am going to care for her fiercely.”. We end with an exercise to help us hold and treat ourselves with love. 

Today's episode was listener inspired! In this podcast, we talk about what it's like when the trajectory of our lives is out of sync with what we imagined or expected. We see this during transitions and turning points (whether they are expected or unexpected). We discuss some of the major developmental tasks that we undergo throughout our lives and what it's like to feel not quite in step with our peers. We also talk about how stories, expectations, having a scarcity mindset, and engaging in social comparison can make us feel even more out of sorts. Lastly, we offer tips and tricks along the way to help navigate all of this change!

It's the New Year, and resolutions are a hot topic! The concept of “self-discipline” has a tendency to sneak into our conversations about goals and resolutions.  So in today's episode, we take a deep dive into self-discipline: what it is, our (unpleasant) emotional reaction, how it can be helpful, and where it can lead us astray. We also offer alternative approaches to the strategy of “have more self-discipline” when we're trying to make changes in our lives. 

One of our favorite analogies when it comes to stressful situations is temperature. Conflict can heat things up and everyone can help keep the environment cool and comfortable. In this episode, we talk about what can cause us to come in “hot” to the holiday season and we discuss strategies that can help us keep ourselves cool.

For many of us, the holidays can feel like a whirlwind! When we're busy with the hustle and bustle, it can be hard to stay centered and tuned in. In today's episode, we explore what, specifically, about the holidays pulsl us off center and leads us to disconnect from ourselves. In addition, we share some principles and practices to facilitate a more grounded and connected holiday season. 

Today's episode is all about delight!  We explore how to be more present to delight, how to choose and feel more delight, and how delight can bring us together. We share some of our favorite, specific delights of the holiday season and what can interfere with being delighted. We also invite our listeners to join our December delights challenge (join our email list for more info)!Links:https://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-delightshttps://www.rossgay.net/the-book-of-more-delightshttps://www.amazon.com/Power-Fun-Feel-Alive-Again/dp/0593241401

Dr. Ellen Albertson is a psychologist, registered dietician, board certified health and wellness coach, reiki master, and mindful self-compassion teacher. She's an author and has over 30 years of experience in the healing field. In today's episode, Ellen  joins us for a conversation about mental health and how to “rock your midlife.” She shares several tips on how to change your mindset, empower yourself, improve your relationships, and find joy from her latest book, Rock Your Midlife: 7 Steps to Transform Yourself and Make Your Next Chapter Your Best Chapter.  Where to find Ellen:https://themidlifewhisperer.com/https://rockyourmidlife.podbean.com/https://www.instagram.com/the_midlife_whisperer/https://www.youtube.com/@themidlifewhisperer

Today we talk about 7 ways of thinking – 7 cognitive traps – that increase our suffering and increase the likelihood we'll abandon ourselves. They are: StoriesExpectationsRulesShoulds/OughtsJudgments / negative self-talkComparisonPerfectionismWe define each of these, exploring how they show up in our lives. We talk about how to shed these ways of thinking when they no longer serve us. We also discuss what makes these thoughts so sticky, ingrained, and hard to get rid of. 

“Life is a series of storms. As we get older, they tend to be more frequent. Taking time to have “fun” is how we weather them. The storms will keep coming so we must learn to dance in the rain.”  Find Your Unicorn Space by Eve RodskyEve Rodsky is known for her game-changing book and social movement, Fair Play.  Fair Play is a groundbreaking system that uses organizational management strategies to more fairly divide unpaid labor in the home. In today's episode, Eve joins us for a conversation about gender equality, mental health, creativity, and her most recent book, Find Your Unicorn Space.  Eve explains that a successful organization has boundaries, systems, and communication, but her research indicates that boundaries become barriers for women when they don't believe they have permission to be unavailable from their roles, when guilt and shame ruin their experiences, and when boundaries are met with push back. Eve's work focuses on helping women reclaim permission to be unavailable and ask for what they need, burn guilt and shame, and hold space for boundary breaches. We love Eve's definition of mental health: having the appropriate emotion at the appropriate time and the ability and strength to weather it. Eve's newest book, Find Your Unicorn Space, focuses on weathering the storms of life with curiosity and developing consistent interest in our own lives (rather than singular focus on the roles we fill) as an antidote to burnout.  Where to find Eve: https://www.everodsky.com/https://www.everodsky.com/fair-playhttps://www.fairplaylife.com/unicorn-spacehttps://www.instagram.com/everodsky

In today's episode, we continue talking about self-abandonment, briefly reviewing the 8 types of self-abandonment (i.e., people-pleasing, not speaking truth, not trusting yourself, over-working/uber-productivity, the quest for self-improvement, checking boxes/collecting gold stars or external validation, numbing out, and getting stuck in your head or ruminating). We talk about how the various types of self-abandonment overlap with one another and share personal examples of which ones we default to in our own lives. We also share several examples of how easily and unconsciously self-abandonment appears in our lives and those of our clients, in big and small ways. Lastly, we offer several ways to interrupt self-abandonment including slowing down, tuning in and making space, letting our entire experience belong, shedding unhelpful expectations, comparisons, rules, judgments, and stories, and being self-compassionate.

In today's episode, we talk about self-abandonment, all the ways in which we “go outside of ourselves” or lose touch with ourselves in order to determine how to think, feel, or behave. We discuss the 8 types of self-abandonment including people-pleasing, not speaking truth, not trusting yourself, over-working/uber-productivity, the quest for self-improvement, checking boxes/collecting gold stars (external validation), numbing out, and getting stuck in your head (ruminating). We share our own struggles with self-abandonment and provide lots of examples to help you identify where you fall in the self-abandonment spectrum. Stay tuned for part 2 in which we discuss how to interrupt the self-abandonment process. 

“Rarely is there ever a hack. It's me learning to relate to the thing differently that creates more peace and ease.” -TaylorTaylor White Moffitt is one of our most favorite teachers and mentors. She's a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and yoga instructor who lives in Boulder, Colorado, and she's incredibly gifted at helping humans live with more peace, ease, and joy. During our conversation we explore her three cornerstones for transformation: mindfulness, movement, and mental health. We talk about the power of embodiment and experiential practices. We also speak more specifically about midlife, including some of the challenges and gifts (e.g., clarity of what matters most; shedding layers so we can feel ourselves more and so we can live a more connected and authentic life). Taylor's offerings: Humanity First – year long embodied leadership trainingThe Art + Practice of Self-compassion – 4-week course offered 2x/year (in Oct and Jan)Transformational retreatsWeekly yogaIndividual psychotherapyTo learn more, visit Taylor's website: https://www.humanityshared.com/

Today we talk about the ongoing work of truly seeing our kids as individual humans apart and independent of us. We talk about the separation and individuation that typically happens in adolescence AND the process of tending to the parts of ourselves that are separate from our identities as parents. In this episode, we talk about the different ways that we attempt to nurture our kids' identities apart from us and, at the same time, develop our own identities apart from our kids.  Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassrebellion/https://www.instagram.com/inspirationfromthecouch/

Join Avery, Jamie, & Lucy as they discuss their experiences with creativity in midlife. We share our self-perceptions about our creative abilities (or lack thereof), what gets in the way of creativity, and why creativity is an important part of life. We also talk about the “dark side” of creativity, the relationship between creativity and mental illness, and several strategies to bolster our creative energy in midlife. 

We believe that “not enoughness” plays a fundamental role in both our suffering and our humanity. In this episode, we take a deep dive into not enoughness, exploring how it shows up in people's lives, the impact it has, and its ripple effects. We share our own experiences with not enoughness, and we give the inside scoop about how we navigate not enoughness, both in our clinical work and in our personal lives. We highlight factors that tend to make not enoughness louder, as well as ways to settle/quiet this part of ourselves. 

Today we're talking about sandwiches! Being a part of the sandwich generation that is! The sandwich generation refers to middle-aged adults who are simultaneously raising kids and supporting their aging parents. An estimated 11 million caregivers provide unpaid care to an adult while also caring for kids (Pew Research Center 2019 research report). With all of this care-taking, no wonder we are stressed and can experience burnout! We discuss the physical, emotional, and behavioral signs of burnout and common stressors of being a sandwich generation caregiver. We also cover important tips and tools for managing caregiver stress and burnout. 

It's summer time!!! In today's episode, Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about summer vampires – the experiences and expectations that can suck the joy right out of summer. We talk about the trap of overplanning, under planning, and not being intentional about our time. We share our own experiences with decision fatigue, difficulty remaining present, and having rigid expectations. We then cover tips and tricks to help you have a more enjoyable summer and fend off these summer vampires such as having conversations with the family about expectations before the summer kicks off, allowing everyone to explore their interests, and being intentional about family downtime. 

We have an amazing episode for you today! We interview Debra Benfield, a registered dietitian and certified eating disorder specialist whose work is focused on pro-aging and body liberation. We talk about the messages women receive about their bodies and their relationships with food, including the influence of an “ageist diet culture” on both how we feel about ourselves and the behaviors we try to adopt. Explored the role of fear and desire to control, and discussed factors that might be underneath this. Debra shares about normal bodily changes we might experience during midlife, as well as some nutrition guidelines to help nourish our bodies and whole selves during midlife and beyond. Throughout the episode we weave in the (over) focus on appearance and staying young, and we consider the freedom that comes from instead focusing on a pro-aging mindset, connecting with your values, and integrating more pleasure and joy. Some of our favorite takeaways: When you feel the urge to control, shift instead into care insteadGive yourself permission for pleasureFear and trust are often in opposition Some nutrition guidelines: When/if possible, listen to your body. Eat enough! Adequate intake is soooo important. (Many people are undernourished because of diet culture. When a human body is undernourished, the brain is underfed and therefore changes. Symptoms of this include brain fog, anxiety, irritability, mood swings.)Eat enough fat! This is important for your nervous system. Consider your gut. For this, eat regularly (no skipping or fasting) and let yourself be fed adequately. Eat fermented foods, lots of fruits and veggies, and carbs. Carbs are important for our bodies to function well and fully. Belly fat is important and good. We need it. Pleasure and satisfaction are important. Brains can change at any age. Neuroplasticity is real. You are not stuck after a certain age. Debra's nutrition practice: https://www.bodyinmindnutrition.com/Debra's coaching program: https://www.debrabenfield.com/Find Debra on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/agingbodyliberation/Minnesota Starvation Study: https://eatingdisorders.dukehealth.org/education/resources/starvation-experimentRegan Chastain: https://www.instagram.com/ragenchastain/https://danceswithfat.org/Follow us on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassrebellion/https://www.instagram.com/inspirationfromthecouch/

In today's episode we talk about our experiences of being on the brink of losing our shit. We explore interpersonal dynamics and situations that trigger this reaction. We explore the difference between losing our shit and handling our shit. We discuss our internal experiences, as well as how we show up in the world when we're in this state of mind (or really this “state of feeling” is a better descriptor!). Top 3 things we're learning about how to cope with difficult people/situations: Be well resourced. It's hard to cope when we're exhausted, depleted, tapped out, or overwhelmed. Another reason to practice good self-care. Sometimes we have to be assertive. Boundaries are important. This doesn't make you a bitch. Get support. We often need safe people to vent to who understand, who will be on our team, and who can help us discern how to respond. 

In this episode, we're giving you a sneak peak at our upcoming summer series! Starting in June, we're holding monthly workshops (in-person and online) to talk about some of our favorite topics related to midlife. Our June Workshop is going to focus on reorienting and rebelling. We'll talk about what is really happening to our brains, bodies, and relationships during midlife and the menopause transition. We'll also spend some time debunking some of the messed up messages we've received about the midlife years. We're calling our July Workshop “The Reckoning.” It's time to come to terms with what's so: with where you are and where you're not. With who you are and who you're not. It's time to let go of all the shit that's weighing you down and no longer serving you. Reckoning points the way for what we  might do with our one wild and precious life. In our August Workshop, we're going to focus on Reclaiming Power. Reclaiming is about getting in touch with your power and reawakening your fire. In this workshop, we'll work to reclaim self, time, and relationships. Our September Workshop is focused on Rejoicing in Midlife. We'll talk about how to prioritize fun, joy, and pleasure, and we'll clear the obstacles that interfere. We really hope you'll join us for one (or all!) of these offerings. We'd love to get to see you this summer!!Click here for more info and/or to sign up! 

We are delighted to have the New York Times bestselling author, Jen Mann, join us for this episode. She is a Gen X Badass, and her book Midlife Bites puts words to what so many of us experience in our 40s and beyond. We absolutely love her vulnerability, hilarity, and use of the word “amazeballs”. Our conversation today covers everything from Jen's adventures in standup comedy to poise pads. We hope you have as much fun listening to this one as we had recording it! Links: https://www.peopleiwanttopunchinthethroat.com/https://jenmann.substack.com/https://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebiteshttps://www.instagram.com/jenmannauthor/

Join Jamie, Lucy, and Avery as they talk with certified coach (CPCC), Sara Smeaton, about all things midlife! Sara is a badass midlifer who offers one-on-one and group coaching as well as workshops helping women discover their power, purpose, and possibility. We discuss what Sara refers to as our midlife Power YearsTM, in which we have the experience AND the possibility to create the life we want. We also explore six truths about midlife and share our experiences of being in this life stage. This is a great conversation, not to be missed!Links:https://sarasmeaton.com/https://sarasmeaton.com/power-years-workbook/https://www.instagram.com/sarasmeaton/

It's no secret that romantic relationships change over time. After decades of running a household and raising children, many couples find more space and stillness in midlife, which might both terrify us and enable growth and (re)connection. In today's episode, we focus on “midlife proofing” your relationship. We discuss the normal shifts that occur over time in partnerships, and we explore how to proactively prioritize and strengthen the connection with your significant other. * Content appropriate for all ages and relationship stages. It's never too early or too late to prioritize connection! Recommended Resources: Any books by John Gottman

It's graduation season! Today we talk about our own experiences with graduations and what we can do as parents to help this graduation season go as well as possible (for our kids and for us too!) We'll touch on the various feelings that can come up for graduates and their parents, and we'll also discuss some strategies to help gear up for this transition. 

Parenting teens is hard! It can be especially difficult to differentiate “normal teenage angst” from more serious issues that require outside help. In this episode, we talk about the typical stressors and issues that come up for teens as well as behaviors that are cause for concern. We touch on various types of support available and what situations call for different types of care. We cover some tips on how to talk to and support your teen and how to take care of yourself when your teen struggles. 

In the second half of our conversation with Jessica Grant, we get into the nitty gritty of goal setting. Jessica walks us through her system for creating and tracking goals. We discuss the importance of creating specific and measurable goals, talking through several examples to help bring the concepts to life. We explore barriers to goal setting, with particular focus of what gets in the way of either making or following through with goals. We each share about our own personal goals, and provide tips and tricks for leveraging goal setting in your life. Do try this at home:Sign up for Jessica's “Get Your Goals Course.” Use this link.  Put pen to paper with your goals. Ensure your goals align with your values and priorities (you have to tune inward to know this!)Be realistic with your goals (with both quantity and quality). Allow yourself to do less. Find a system that works for you (we're thinking Jessica's Get Your Goals Course is a great place to start!)You can find Jessica on her website here and on Instagram with this link. Click here for Jessica's Goal Setting Course! 

It's so exciting! We're doing our first interview today! Your Badass Trio is joined by Jessica Grant, master goal setter. In part 1 (of our two part conversation), we get to know Jessica personally before diving into an overview of our topic. We define goal setting, differentiating goals from tasks, values, intentions, and hopes. We also highlight the following key principles to consider as you navigate your own goals: what you're going to prioritizeimportance of being flexiblekey element of tuning-in (self awareness and tuning inward rather than defaulting to externals)focus on the process (rather than getting caught up in the outcome)importance of being kind to yourself (let's ditch the judgment and self-criticism!)harnessing curiosity and openness (goals as an opportunity to discover something new)You can find Jessica on her website here and on Instagram with this link.  Click here for Jessica's Goal Setting Course! 

There are a lot of things that aren't amazing about midlife, but we actually think this stage of life kicks ass. Here are 10 things we love about being middle aged:We give a fuck about less. We've let go of some things and that brings us joy. We've seen some shit. We've lived enough life to know that “this too shall pass”.We listen to our intuition. More focus on and comfort with our own knowing. We aren't for everyone and that's ok. Less people-pleasing and living small. We've been around long enough to have some really deep relationships.We are intentional about where we put our energy. We don't have to do shit that we don't want to do any more. No more FOMO. More freedom and adventure. Less have-to's and more want-to's. We can laugh at ourselves and not take everything so seriously. Our kids are a lot of fun as they get older. There's a lot of joy in watching them grow into who they are going to be.Time article

Join the bitchfest in this episode, as Jamie, Lucy & Avery discuss the experiences of irritability, anger, and rage which are common emotions in midlife. We talk about all of the contributing factors during this period of life which can contribute to this hot emotional climate such as hormones, physical shifts, life transitions and stressors, and imbalances in relationships. We discuss messages that women have received regarding the feeling and expression of anger such as women are supposed to be “nice” and anger is “scary and to be feared.” We talk about the variability of irritability and share some of the recent things that have gotten under our skin. We also offer up some tips on managing irritability and anger.Do Try This At Home:It's important to acknowledge and name whatever emotional state in which you might find yourself.Try anything to self-soothe, as long as it's legal and helpful. Do you know what comforts you when you're irritated? Do you see it, wear it, ingest it, smell it, or listen to it?Talk to those in your social support system who are good listeners and can offer validation.

Today we're talking about brain fog, which the three of us have PLENTY of right now (so it's a very pertinent and relevant topic in our lives)! We start by defining what brain fog is and describing how it shows up in our lives, sharing stories of our forgetfulness, word finding difficulties, and sluggish thinking. We highlight some of the main causes of brain fog, exploring how many of these interact with each other. We discuss the impact of brain fog, particularly on our identity, sense of self, and overall functioning. We conclude that there's power in being able to name and identify this symptom, and we share some strategies for how to best manage brain fog. Quoted in the episode, From The Menopause Charity (themenopausecharity.org)“Estrogen stimulates the brain, keeps the neurons firing, supports the growth of new cells and helps existing cells to form new connections. When estrogen levels fall in midlife, your entire body – including your brain – goes into a sudden deprivation state. At a cellular level, estrogen pushes your brain cells to burn more glucose, which is its main fuel. Studies have shown that there is an overall reduction of brain energy levels during menopause, which can trigger hot flushes, night sweats, anxiety, depression, brain fog, and the host of other cognitive symptoms mentioned.”

In today's episode, Lucy, Jamie, and Avery discuss the midlife experience. We explore whether it's an actual crisis or whether it's more about navigating a lot of transitions. We discuss what differentiates this period of life from other times in life marked by well-defined rituals and a map of sorts. We share our experiences with bodily changes, empty nesting, job and marital changes, care-giving of aging parents, etc. We also talk about the positive sides of being in midlife such as feeling more settled, doing less striving, and having more space for “want to's” vs. “have to's.”  We talk about doing a “mid life review” to evaluate where you feel satisfied in your life and where you'd like to have more fulfillment. The following questions can help you reflect: What do you want more of in your life? What do you want less of? What is something you've always dreamed of doing but never done? What is an adventure you'd enjoy? What people would you like to surround yourself with as you navigate this time period?

In this episode, we talk about the stories we tell ourselves. In intimate relationships, it can be incredibly helpful to notice the stories that we tell ourselves and share them with our loved ones. Often, we'll find that our stories are inaccurate and talking about them can improve communication and trust with our partners. We don't just tell ourselves stories about other people - we also tell ourselves stories about ourselves! Sometimes these stories can be helpful (ie: I can't drink caffeine after noon or I'll be up all night) and sometimes they can limit our experiences (ie: I don't like roller coasters). We've noticed that a lot of these limiting stories start with “I don't like…” or “I can't do that” or  “I am…”  It can be helpful to challenge the stories that hold us back! Jamie, Lucy, and Avery talk about some of the stories we've told ourselves and strategies that have helped us to question them. Do try this at home:Notice the stories that you tell yourself and pay attention to how they change when your mood changes.When you notice a story that is holding you back or limiting your experience, challenge it.  How can you use this language: “The story I'm telling myself is…” in your relationships? How can you integrate it into your communication with others?

Today's episode focuses on people pleasing. We explore what it is, including how it manifests in our own lives and in the lives of our clients. We delineate some of the pros and cons of this behavior (as there are both ups and downs to showing up this way!), as well as the warning signs that you might be a people pleaser. Some common warning signs include: always saying yes, having a hard time saying no, a pattern of resentment, pretending (to be someone you're not), over-apologizing, not sharing how you truly feel (withholding, being avoidant), and taking responsibility for others' feelings. Lastly we discuss strategies to help us shift away from people pleasing, as well as potential barriers that might get in the way.