Podcasts about emotion mind

You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I speak with Shireen Rizvi, PhD and Jesse Finkelstein, PsyD, about their book Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships. We discuss what Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is, how it can help both ourselves and our kids with big feelings, and get into some of the skills it teaches including distress tolerance, check the facts, and mindfulness.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:00 What is DBT?* 11:00 The importance of validation* 13:00 How do parents manage their own big feelings?* 16:00 How do you support a kid with big feelings, and where is the place for problem solving?* 23:00 Managing the urge to fix things for our kids!* 26:00 What is distress tolerance?* 28:50 “Check the facts” is a foundational skill* 34:00 Mindfulness is a foundation of DBT* 36:45 How the skills taught through DBT are universalResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships by Shireen Rizvi and Jesse Finkelstein * Shireen Rizvi's website * Jesse Finkelstein's websites axiscbt and therahive Connect with Sarah Rosensweet:* Instagram* Facebook Group* YouTube* Website* Join us on Substack* Newsletter* Book a short consult or coaching session callxx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HEREPodcast transcript:Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today we have two guests who co-authored a book called Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships.And you may be wondering why we're talking about that on a parenting podcast. This was a really great conversation with Shireen Rizvi and Jesse Finkelstein, the co-authors of the book, about all of the skills of DBT, which is a modality of therapy. We talked about the skills they teach in DBT and how we can apply them to parenting.They talk about how emotional dysregulation is the cause of so much of the pain and suffering in our lives. And I think as a parent, you will recognize that either your own emotional dysregulation or your child's is often where a lot of issues and conflict come from.So what they've really provided in this book—and given us a window into in this conversation—is how we can apply some of those skills toward helping ourselves and helping our children with big feelings, a.k.a. emotional dysregulation. It was a really wonderful conversation, and their book is wonderful too. We'll put a link to it in the show notes and encourage you to check it out.There are things you can listen to in this podcast today and then walk away and use right away. One note: you'll notice that a lot of what they talk about really overlaps with the things we teach and practice inside of Peaceful Parenting.If this episode is helpful for you, please share it with a friend. Screenshot it and send it to someone who could use some more skill-building around big emotions—whether they're our own big emotions or our child's. Sharing with a friend or word of mouth is a wonderful way for us to reach more people and more families and help them learn about peaceful parenting.It is a slow process, but I really believe it is the way we change the world. Let's meet Shireen and Jesse.Hi, Jesse. Hi, Shireen. Welcome to the podcast.Jesse: Thank you so much for having us.Sarah: Yeah. I'm so excited about your book, which I understand is out now—Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships. First of all, I love the format of your book. It's super easy to read and easy to use. I already thought about tearing out the pages with the flow charts, which are such great references—really helpful for anyone who has emotions. Basically anyone who has feelings.Jesse: Oh, yes.Sarah: Yeah. I thought they were great, and I think this is going to be a helpful conversation for parents. You've written from a DBT framework. Can you explain what DBT is and maybe how it's different from CBT? A lot of people have heard more about cognitive behavior therapy than dialectical behavior therapy.Shireen: Sure. I would first say that DBT—Dialectical Behavior Therapy—is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy. So they're in the same category. Sometimes we hear therapists say, “I do DBT, but I don't do CBT,” and from my perspective, that's not really possible, because the essence of dialectical behavior therapy is CBT. CBT focuses on how our thoughts, behaviors, and emotions all go together, and how changing any one of those affects the others.That's really the core of DBT—the foundation of CBT. But what happened was the person who developed DBT, Marsha Linehan—she was actually my grad school advisor at the University of Washington—developed this treatment because she was finding that standard CBT was not working as well as she wanted it to for a particular population. The group she was working with were women, primarily, who had significant problems with emotion regulation and were chronically suicidal or self-injuring.With that group, she found they needed a lot more validation—validation that things were really rough, that it was hard to change what was going on, that they needed support and comfort. But if she leaned too much on validation, patients got frustrated that there wasn't enough change happening.So what she added to standard CBT was first a focus on validation and acceptance, and then what she refers to as the dialectical piece: balancing between change and acceptance. The idea is: You're doing the best you can—and you need to do better.Jesse: Mm-hmm.Shireen: And even though DBT was developed for that very severe group that needed a lot of treatment, one of the aspects of DBT is skills training—teaching people skills to manage their emotions, regulate distress, engage interpersonally in a more effective way.Those skills became so popular that people started using them with everyone they were treating, not just people who engaged in chronic suicidal behavior.Sarah: Very cool. And I think the population you're referring to is people who might be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. I bring that up only because I work with parents, not kids, and parents report to me what their children are like. I've had many parents worry, “Do you think my child has borderline personality disorder?” because they've heard of it and associate it with extreme sensitivity and big feelings.A lot of that is just typical of someone who's 13 or 14, right? Or of a sensitive child—not diagnosable or something you'd necessarily find in the DSM. I've heard it so many times. I say, “No, I don't think your child has borderline personality disorder. I think they're just really sensitive and haven't learned how to manage their big feelings yet. And that's something you can help them with.”With that similar level of emotional intensity—in a preteen or early teen who's still developing the brain structures that make self-regulation possible—how can we use DBT skills? What are a couple of ideas you might recommend when you have a 13-year-old who feels like life is ruined because the jeans they wanted to wear are soaking wet in the wash? And I'm not making fun—at 13, belonging is tied to how you look, what jeans you're wearing, how your hair is. It feels very real.So how might we use the skills you write about for that kind of situation?Jesse: Well, Sarah, I actually think you just practiced one of the skills: validation. When someone feels like their day is ruined because of their jeans, often a parent will say, “Get over it. It's not a big deal.” And now, in addition to fear or anxiety, there's a layer of shame or resentment. So the emotion amplifies and becomes even harder to get out of.Validation is a skill we talk about where you recognize the kernel of truth—how this experience makes sense. “The jeans you're wearing are clearly important to you. This is about connection. I understand why you feel this way.” That simple act of communicating that someone's thoughts and feelings make sense can be very powerful.Alongside that—back to what Shireen was saying—there are two tracks. One is the skills you help your teen practice. The other is the skills you practice yourself to be effective. In that moment, your teen might be dysregulated. What is the parent's emotion? Their urge? What skills can they practice to be effective?Sarah: I love that you already went to the next question I was going to ask, which is: when that kid is screaming, “You don't understand, I can't go to school because of the jeans,” what can parents do for themselves using the skills you describe?Shireen: I often think of the oxygen-mask analogy: put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. That was certainly true for me when I had fussy infants—how do you manage that stress when you are already heightened?What do you need to do to regulate yourself so you can be effective in the moment? Sometimes that's literally taking a time-out—leaving the room for a minute. The kid comes after you about the jeans, and you say, “Hold on, I need a minute.” You sequester yourself in the bathroom. You do paced breathing—a DBT skill that helps regulate your nervous system. You do that for a minute, get centered, and then return to the situation.If you're not regulated and your child is dysregulated, you'll ping-pong off each other and it becomes messier and messier. But if you can regulate yourself and approach calmly, the whole interaction changes.Sarah: It's so interesting because people who've been listening to my podcast or know my work will think, “Oh yeah, these are the things Sarah talks about all the time.” Our first principle of peaceful parenting is parental self-regulation. It doesn't mean you never get upset, but you recognize it and have strategies to get back to calm.And I always say, if you forget everything else I teach about dealing with upset kids, just remember empathy—which is another way of saying validation. I tell parents: you don't have to agree to empathize. Especially with situations like the jeans.I love the crossover between the skills parents are practicing in my community and what you've written about. And again: those flow charts! I'm going to mark up my book with Post-its for all the exercises.One of the things you talk about in the book is problem solving. As parents, we can find ourselves in these intense situations. I'll give an example: a client's daughter, at 11 p.m., was spiraling about needing a particular pair of boots for her Halloween costume, and they wouldn't arrive in time. No matter what the mom said, the daughter spiraled.This is a two-part question: If you've validated and they're still really upset, how do you support a kid who is deep in those intense feelings? And when is the place for teaching problem solving—especially when there is a real logistical problem to solve?Jesse: I'm going to say the annoying therapist thing: it depends. If we think about how emotions impact our thinking on a scale from 0 to 10, it's very hard to engage in wise-minded problem solving when someone is at an 8, 9, or 10. At that point, the urge is to act on crisis behaviors—yell, fight, ruminate.So engaging your child in problem solving when they're at a 9 isn't effective.Often, I suggest parents model and coach distress-tolerance skills. Shireen mentioned paced breathing. Maybe distraction. Anything to lower the emotional volume.Once we're in the six-ish range? Now we can problem solve. DBT has a very prescribed step-by-step process.But it's really hard if someone is so dysregulated. That's often where parents and kids end up in conflict: parent wants to solve; kid is at a 9 and can't even see straight.Sarah: Right. So walk us through what that might look like using the boots example. Play the parent for a moment.Jesse: Of course. I'd potentially do a couple of things. I might say, “Okay, let's do a little ‘tipping the temperature' together.” I'd bring out two bowls of ice and say, “We'll bend over, hold our breath for 30 seconds…”Shireen: And put your face in the bowl of ice water. You left out that part.Jesse: Crucial part of the step.Sarah: You just look at the ice water?Jesse: No, you submerge your face. And something happens—it's magical. There's actually a profound physiological effect: lowering blood pressure, calming the sympathetic nervous system.I highlight for parents: do this with your child, not didactically. Make it collaborative.And then: validate, validate, validate. Validation is not approval. It's not saying the reaction is right. It's simply communicating that their distress makes sense. Validation is incredibly regulating.Then you check in: “Do you feel like we can access Wise Mind?” If yes: “Great. Let's bring out a problem-solving worksheet—maybe from Real Skills for Real Life or the DBT manual. Let's walk through it step by step.”Sarah: And if you have a kid screaming, “Get that ice water away from me, that has nothing to do with the boots!”—is there anything to add beyond taking a break?Shireen: I'd say this probably comes up a lot for you, Sarah. As parents—especially high-functioning, maybe perfectionistic types (I put myself in that category)—if my kid is upset, I feel so many urges to fix it right away. Sometimes that's helpful, but often it's not. They either don't want to be fixed, or they're too dysregulated, or fixing isn't actually their goal—they just want to tell you how upset they are.I have to practice acceptance: “My kid is upset right now. That's it.” I remind myself: kids being upset is part of life. It's important for them to learn they can be upset and the world doesn't fall apart.If they're willing to do skills alongside you, great. But there will be times where you say, “I accept that you're upset. I'm sorry you feel this way. It sounds terrible. Let's reconnect in an hour.” And wait for the storm to pass.Sarah: Wait for the storm to pass.Jesse: I'll say—I haven't been a therapist that long, and I've been having this conversation with my own parents. Yesterday I called my mom about something stressful, and she said, “Jesse, do you want validation or problem solving right now?”Shireen: Love it.Jesse: I thought, “You taught her well.” I was like: okay, therapy works. And even having that prompt—“What would you like right now? Problem solving? Validation? Do you want me to just sit with you?”—that's so useful.Sarah: Yeah. I have to remind myself of that with my daughter, especially when the solution seems obvious to me but she's too upset to take it in. Just sitting there is the hardest thing in the world.And you've both anticipated my next question. A big part of your book is distress tolerance—one of the four areas. Can you talk about what distress tolerance is specifically? And as you mentioned, Shireen, it is excruciating when your kid is in pain or upset.I learned from my friend Ned Johnson—his wonderful book The Self-Driven Child—that there's something called the “righting instinct.” When your child falls over, you have the instinct to right them—pick them up, dust them off, stand them up. That instinct kicks in whenever they're distressed. And I think it's important for them to learn skills so we don't do that every time.Give us some thoughts about that.Shireen: Well, again, I think distress tolerance is so important for parents and for kids. The way we define it in DBT is: distress tolerance is learning how to tolerate stressful, difficult, complicated situations without doing anything to make it worse. That's the critical part, because distress tolerance is not about solving problems. It's about getting through without making things worse.So in the context of an interaction with your kid, “not making it worse” might mean biting your tongue and not lashing out, not arguing, not rolling your eyes, or whatever it is. And then tolerating the stress of the moment.As parents, we absolutely need this probably a thousand times a day. “How do I tolerate the distress of this moment with my kid?” And then kids, as humans, need to learn distress tolerance too—how to tolerate a difficult situation without doing anything to make it worse.If we swoop in too quickly to solve the problem for them—as you said, if we move in too quickly to right them—they don't learn that they can get through it themselves. They don't learn that they can right themselves.And I think there's been a lot written about generations and how parenting has affected different generations. We want our kids to learn how to problem solve, but also how to manage stress and difficulty in effective ways.Sarah: I think you're probably referring to the “helicopter parents,” how people are always talking about helicopter parents who are trying to remove any obstacles or remove the distress, basically.I think the answer isn't that we just say, “Okay, well, you're distressed, deal with it,” but that we're there with them emotionally while they're learning. We're next to them, right? With that co-regulation piece, while they're learning that they can handle those big feelings.Shireen: Yes. Yeah. Yeah.Sarah: I thought it might be fun, before we close out, to do a deep dive on maybe one or two of the skills you have in the book. I was thinking about maybe “Check the Facts.” It would be a cool one to do a deep dive on. You have so many awesome skills and I encourage anyone to pick up your book. “Check the Facts” is one of the emotion regulation skills.Do you mind going over when you would use Check the Facts, what it is, and how to use it?Jesse: Not at all. Check the Facts is, in many ways, a foundational skill, because it's so easy for us to get lost in our interpretation of a situation. So the classic example is: you're walking down the street and you wave to a friend, and they don't wave back. And I don't know about you, but it's easy for me to go to, “Oh, they must be mad at me.”Sarah: Right, yeah.Jesse: And all of a sudden, I'm spinning out, thinking about all the things I could have done to hurt their feelings, and yada yada yada. Then I'm feeling lots of upset, and I may have the urge to apologize, etc.What we're doing with Check the Facts is returning our attention back to the facts themselves—the things we can take in with our senses. We're observing and describing, which are two foundational mindfulness skills in DBT. And then from that, we ask ourselves: “Does the emotion I'm feeling—the intensity and duration of that emotion—fit the facts as I'm experiencing them?”So in many ways, this is one of those cognitive interventions. DBT rests on all these cognitive-behavioral principles; it's part of that broader umbrella. Here we're asking: “Do the facts as I see them align with my emotional experience?”From there, we ask: if yes, then there are certain options or skills we can practice—for instance, we can change the problem. If no, that begs the question: “Should I act opposite to this emotion urge that I have?”So it's a very grounding, centering type of skill. Shireen, is there anything I'm missing?Shireen: No. I would just give a parenting example that happens for me a lot. My kid has a test the next day. He says he knows everything. He doesn't open the book or want to review the study guide. And I start to think things like, “Oh my gosh, he has no grit. He's going to fail this test. He's not going to do well in high school. He's not going to get into a good college. But most importantly, he doesn't care. And what does that say about him? And what does it say about me as a parent?”I hope people listening can relate to these sorts of thoughts and I'm not alone.Sarah: A hundred percent. I've heard people say those exact things.Shireen: And even though I practice these skills all the time, I'm also human and a mother. So where Check the Facts can be useful there is first just recognizing: “Okay, what thoughts am I having in response to this behavior?” The facts of the situation are: my kid said he doesn't need to study anymore. And then look at all these thoughts that came into my mind.First, just recognizing: here was the event, and here's what my mind did. That, in and of itself, is a useful experience. You can say, “Wow, look at what I'm doing in my mind that's creating so much of a problem.”Then I can also think: “What does this make me feel when I have all these thoughts?” I feel fear. I feel sad. I feel shame about not being a good parent. And those all cause me to have more thoughts and urges to do things that aren't super effective—like trying to bully him into studying, all of these things.Then the skill can be: “Okay, are these thoughts exaggerated? Are they based in fact? Are they useful?” I can analyze each of these thoughts.I might think, “Well, he has a history of not studying and doing fine,” is one thing. Another thought: “Me trying to push him to study is not going to be effective or helpful.” Another: “There are natural consequences. If he doesn't do well because he didn't study, that's an important lesson for him to learn.”So I can start to change my interpretations based on the facts of the actual situation as opposed to my exaggerated interpretations. And then see: what does that do to my emotions? And when I have more realistic, fact-based thoughts, does that lead me to have a better response than I would if I followed through on all my exaggerated thinking?Does that make sense?Sarah: Yeah, totally makes sense. Are there any DBT skills that are helpful in helping you recognize when you need to use a skill—if that makes sense? Because sometimes I think parents might spiral, like in the example you're talking about, but they might not even realize they're spiraling. Sometimes parents will say, “I don't even know until it's too late that I've had this big moment of emotional dysregulation.”Jesse: I think there's a very strong reason why mindfulness is the foundation of DBT—for exactly the reason you've just described. For a lot of us, we end up engaging in behaviors that are ineffective, that are not in line with our values or goals, and it feels like it's just happening to us.So having a mindfulness practice—and I want to highlight that doesn't necessarily mean a formal meditation practice—but developing the skill of noticing, of being increasingly conscious of what you're feeling, your urges, your thoughts, your behaviors. So that when you notice that you are drifting, that you're engaging in an ineffective behavior, you can then apply a skill. We can't change what we're not aware of.Sarah: I love that. It's so hard with all the distractions we have and all of the things that are pulling us this way and that, and the busyness. So just slowing down and starting to notice more what we're feeling and thinking.Shireen: There's a skill that we teach that's in the category of mindfulness called Wise Mind. I don't have to get into all the particulars of that, but Wise Mind is when you're in a place where you feel wise and centered and perhaps a little bit calmer.So one question people can ask themselves is: “Am I in a place of Wise Mind right now?” And if not, that's the cue. Usually, when we answer that we're not, it's because we're in a state of Emotion Mind, where our emotions are in control of us.First, recognizing what state of mind you're in can be really helpful. You can use that as a cue: “I'm not in Wise Mind. I need to do something more skillful here to get there,” or, “I need to give myself some time before I act.”Sarah: I love that. So helpful. Before we wrap up, was there anything you wish I'd asked you that you think would be really helpful for parents and kids?Shireen: I just want to reiterate something you said earlier, which is: yes, this treatment was developed for folks with borderline personality disorder. That is often a diagnosis people run screaming from or are very nervous about. People might hesitate to think that these skills could be useful for them if they don't identify as having borderline personality disorder.But I think what you're highlighting, Sarah—and we so appreciate you having us on and talking about these skills—is that we consider these skills universal. Really anybody can benefit.I've done training and teaching in DBT for 25 years, and I teach clinicians in many different places how to do DBT treatment with patients. But inevitably, what happens is that the clinicians themselves say, “Oh, I really need these skills in my everyday life.”So that's what we want to highlight, and why we wrote this book: to take these skills from a treatment designed for a really severe population and break it down so anybody can see, “Oh, this would be useful for me in my everyday life, and I want to learn more.”Sarah: Totally. Yeah. I love it. And I think it's a continuum, right? From feeling like emotions are overwhelming and challenging, and being really emotionally sensitive. There are lots of people who are on that more emotionally sensitive side of things, and these are really helpful skills for them.Jesse: Yeah. And to add on that, I wouldn't want anyone—and I don't think any of us here are suggesting this—it's such a stigmatized diagnosis. I have yet to meet someone who's choosing suffering. Many of us are trying to find relief from a lot of pain, and we may do so through really ineffective means.So with BPD, in my mind, sometimes it's an unfortunate name for a diagnosis. Many folks may have the opinion that it means they're intrinsically broken, or there's something wrong with their personality. Really, it's a constellation of behaviors that there are treatments for.So I want anyone listening not to feel helpless or hopeless in having this diagnosis or experience.Shireen: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Sarah: Thank you so much. The question I ask all my guests—I'll ask Shireen first and then Jesse—is: if you could go back in time, if you had a time machine, if you could go back to your younger parent self, what advice would you give yourself?Shireen: Oof. I think about this a lot, actually, because I feel like I did suffer a lot when my kids were babies. They were super colicky. I didn't sleep at all. I was also trying to work. I was very stressed. I wish that at that time I could have taken in what other people were telling me, which is: “This will pass.” Right? “This too shall pass,” which is something we say to ourselves as DBT therapists a lot. Time changes. Change is inevitable. Everything changes.In those dark parenting moments, you get stuck in thoughts of, “This is never going to change. It's always going to be this way. I can't tolerate this.” Instead, shifting to recognize: “Change is going to happen whether I like it or not. Just hang in there.”Sarah: I love that. My mother-in-law told me when I had my first child: “When things are bad, don't worry, they'll get better. And also, when things are good, don't worry, they'll get worse.”Shireen: Yes, it's true. And we need both the ups and the downs so we can actually understand, “Oh, this is why I like this, and this is why I don't like this.” It's part of life.Sarah: Yeah. Thank you. And Jesse, if you do ever have children, what would you want to remember to tell yourself?Jesse: I think I would want to remember to tell myself—and I don't think I'm going to say anything really new here—that perfection is a myth. I think parents often feel like they need to be some kind of superhuman. But we all feel. And when we do feel, and when we feel strongly, the goal isn't to shame ourselves for having that experience. It's to simply understand it.That's what I would want to communicate to myself, and what I hope to communicate to the parents I work with.Sarah: Love that. Best place to go to find out more about you all and what you do? We'll put a link to your book in the show notes, but any other socials or websites you want to point people to?Shireen: My website is shireenrizvi.com, where you can find a number of resources, including a link to the book and a link to our YouTube channel, which has skills videos—animated skills videos that teach some of these skills in five minutes or less. So that's another resource for people.Sarah: Great. What about you, Jesse?Jesse: I have a website called axiscbt.com. I'm also a co-founder of a psychoeducation skills course called Farrah Hive, and we actually have a parenting course based on DBT skills—that's thefarrahhive.com. And on Instagram, @talk_is_good.Sarah: Great. Thank you so much. Really appreciate your time today.Jesse: Thank you, Sarah.Sarah: Thank you. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

It's no secret that parenting is a challenge. We want our children to be happy, and it can be difficult to see them upset or hurting. Leslie has been working through this with Hannah and Alex, parents of three year old Paxton, who've returned for their third and final session. Together they reinforce the changes they've already implemented with Paxton, like correcting habits and communicating clearly. Leslie also shows them how they're setting Paxton up for success now when it comes to very adult things like handling disappointment and pain. Hannah and Alex have also begun communicating their emotions more clearly, adopting the “emotion mind” language with each other, which in turn helps model it for Paxton. Time Stamps5:30 Using Logic with someone in Emotion Mind usually doesn't work (at any age)6:20 Address issues, validate feelings, and move on (without bringing it up over and over)7:03 Extinction burst - why behaviors tend to get worse before they get better8:33 Teach kids early that they can handle disappointment10:54 How to reinforce manners without giving in every time a child asks for something “nicely”15:30 Life can be hard when you are a rule follower20:04 Short-term gratification can cause children to always want more, more, more20:38 Practice delayed gratification Even if you don't get the short-term results you want keep exposing your child to new foods and new activities24:25 Practice communicating with your partner about being in emotion-mind31:01 To promote flexible thinking and Dialectic thinking use “and” instead of “but”37:34 You can't protect your child from the pains of life, and the greatest gift you can give them is the ability to know that they can handle that pain39:03 Review an event in the past is for the purpose of learning, not for re-experiencing.  Ask something like  “what do you think would work for you next time?”Show Note LinksThree States of MindReacting vs RespondingYoutube channel videos on BehaviorismHow to increase wanted behaviors How to shape behaviorsHow to decrease unwanted behaviorsLeslie-ism: When your urge is to react, take a pause and then choose to respond. For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/ . You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook,  Instagram, TikTok and YouTube. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences.Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, AJ Moultrié, Camila Salazar, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

Stress is a part of life and can happen in both big and small ways. On today's podcast, we consider how the contemplative life can help us recognize what's happening so that we can respond in more balanced ways more and more often. Do you find yourself sometimes feeling flush with emotions? Or, on the opposite side of that, do you sometimes try to ignore emotions in favor of just the facts? When we are feeling more at ease and connected, our brains are able to engage with both of these instead of having to choose just one or the other. Join us as we talk about how this can look in our day to day lives. Additional ResourcesBook: Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn GobbelBook: The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-ExupéryHashtagsJenny Taitz, Emotion Mind, Reason Mind, Wisdom Mind, Naming Emotions, Playfulness, Curiosity, MindsetsSign up for our newsletter here: https://foundrysc.com/about/newsletterSupport the show

Ever feel like your emotions hijack you? Do they jump in the driver's seat and prevent you from thinking rationally? Or do you wish you weren't so factual and could be more sensitive, nurturing, or emotive? In this week's episode, Brett and Christa share how to find a balance between our Reason Mind and Emotion Mind so that we can regularly access our Wise Mind and make more balanced decisions. Do you have feedback or topic requests? Email us at podcast@nystromcounseling.comWe'd love to hear from you!Follow along:InstagramFacebookNystrom & Associates

Discover the transformative power of emotion regulation in this episode, as we explore that module of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), unveiling skills that help people navigate and transform unwanted emotions. From understanding the benefits of emotions to practicing opposite action and coping ahead, this episode provides valuable insights and practical strategies for managing emotion dysregulation. Tune in to gain useful tools for finding emotional well-being on the path to the wise mind.   Faculty: Stephanie Vaughn, Psy.D. Host: Jessica Díaz, M.D. Script Editor: Anderson García, Ph.D.   Learn more about ”DBT in Practice: Mastering the Essentials” and earn 5.25 CE credits. Prefer to read? Here's a text version: DBT in Practice: Emotional Regulation and Mindfulness Skills.

This is the final episode in the five part series with Kathryn. Kathryn shares how implementing some of her newly learned skills has been going.  Kathryn describes how these tricky conversations with her 17 year old daughter Bridgette have felt both satisfying and at times frustrating and where she is still feeling stuck.  Through role playing we take an indepth look at two examples. Leslie gives Kathryn some tips on how to communicate well, particularly when the topic of conversations is sensitive and might bring up some intense emotions.  These strategies for de-escalating polarizing conversations are key for effective communication.  An additional note:  Leslie is qualified to share parenting knowledge and also appears to be challenged by her counting skills.  Listen for when she confidently proclaims that “tell me more” is a two-word phrase.For a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit  https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcasts/. You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiences on Is My Child A Monster? Parenting CommunityTime stamps: 11:00 Role playing difficult conversation with daughter about drugs12:57 Leslie's definition of a responsible child16:19 Emotion mind vs wise mind in difficult conversations18:24 Leslie describes new ways to consider a “time out” in a conversation21:05 The importance of timing in difficult conversationsLeslie-ism:  It's hard to be effective when you're in Emotion Mind.  Pauses can be helpful..Show Note Links:A video that demonstrates how validation/active listen can de-escalate conflicts    Everybody Loves Raymond Uses Active Listening  A handout  on how to de-escalate a conversation   10 Tips for Difficult Conversations  "Setting up anxious kids for long term success" is the title of the episode where Leslie Cohen-Rubury is a guest on Well Hello Anxiety  with Dr Jodi Richardson Credits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Tink Media. Graphics and Website Design by Brien O'Reilly. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contributes their wisdom and support to make this possible.

In this episode, author and psychotherapist Sheri Van Dijk, a renowned expert in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), delves into the intricacies of decision-making and the three states of mind that influence our choices. She explores Emotion Mind, where our emotions take control, Reasonable Mind, where rational thinking prevails, and the harmonious intersection of the two known as Wise Mind.Drawing from scientific research and her extensive experience in DBT, Sheri offers practical solutions rooted in mindfulness and DBT techniques. She highlights the importance of grounding techniques, such as the Downward Dog exercise, to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and promote calmness, thereby enhancing our ability to make sound decisions.As an accomplished author, Sheri's expertise is showcased through her highly acclaimed books, including "Calming the Emotional Storm" and "DBT Made Simple". Through this episode, she guides listeners on a transformative journey, illuminating the path to mindful decision-making. Discover how you can integrate practical DBT strategies into your daily life, empower yourself to make better choices and cultivate a sense of inner harmony and fulfilment.For a transcript of this show, go to https://new.wellnesscurated.life/from-doubt-to-clarity-the-road-to-better-decisions/If you liked our episode, you can subscribe to our podcast on any of the major podcasting platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Google Podcasts. Please leave us a review on Apple iTunes and help others discover this podcast. You can visit wellnesscurated.life and follow us on Twitter @WellnessCurated, On Instagram @wellnesscuratedbyanshubahanda,On Facebook @Wellness Curated by Anshu Bahanda,On LinkedIn @Wellness Curated by Anshu Bahanda, And on YouTube @wellnesscuratedbyanshubahanda. for more wellness tips to help you live your best life.

This is part 2 of the 4 part series with Tim and Natasha who share their concerns and challenges with their 6-year-old daughter Rosie. This episode discusses how Tim and Natasha's own childhood experiences and their personalities affect how they in turn parent their own child.  Tim and Natasha both feel strongly about not repeating what their own parents modeled.  It's  harder than you think, to not impose your own issues into parenting.  And it doesn't help that children often and easily make the interpretation that they are BAD.  Children can feel invalidated when that is not the intention of their parents.  And its not only the child that can feel badly about themselves.  Parents can also feel judged or struggle to feel good enough as a parent.  Takeaways from this session:6:09 Use the expression - when does this work for you and when does this not work for you7:03 Practice being dialectic - use two hands when helping the child become aware of what's happening inside themselves and what's happening outside of them.  7:37 Slow down when dealing with your child. It helps you and it helps them7:56 Playing the Other-Interpretation-Game. 8:49 S.T.O.P. Skill14:25  Telling a child what to do, rather than telling your child what not to do. 17:32 Clarifying the intention of communication 21:05 Being responsible as the adult for your own anger (children don't make us angry, that's how you respond to whatever they are doing)21:50 The three states of mind - Emotion Mind, Wise Mind, Reasonable Mind24:30  Shoulding our children is shaming them - Example of shaming statement31:50 It is very common for children to feel like they are bad - that's shame.Beware of the shame-blame game.  32:50 Using the line:  That's a feeling not a factLESLIE-ISM  Every quality or behavior we have works for us some of the time and doesn't work some of the time. Whether it is being loud or doing nothing, there are two sides of the coin for each behavior or quality that we have.  Ask yourself and ask your child:  When does this work for you and when does it not work for youShow Note LinksAn overview of What Dialectic Behavior TherapyThree States of Mind STOP SkillFor a full transcript of this episode and more information about the host visit https://lesliecohenrubury.com/podcast/. You can also follow Leslie's work on Facebook and Instagram. Join the conversation with your own questions and parenting experiencesCredits: Is My Child a Monster? is produced by Alletta Cooper, Dale Rubury, and Leslie Cohen-Rubury. Theme music is by L-Ray Music. Public relations is handled by Tink Media. Transcriptions by Eric Rubury. A special thanks to everyone who contribute

In today's episode, Jamie, Avery, and Lucy talk about the concept of “Dialectics,” which is holding two opposite viewpoints that are simultaneously true. This entails leaning heavily into both-and thinking, rather than getting trapped in either-or thinking. We talk through several “dialectical dilemmas,” including: Acceptance (validation) vs change (problem solving)Emotion Mind vs Reasonable Mind (which equals Wise Mind)Rigidity vs flexibilityLie the Fuck Down vs Get the Fuck UpBeing self-less vs prioritizing ourselvesSpeaking truth vs being kindWe also explore some of the factors that make dialectics hard, as well as the benefits of approaching life from a more dialectical perspective. Badass Boundaries: https://badassmethod.com/boundaries

A lot of trauma survivors struggle with feeling emotionally overwhelmed -- at least sometimes. And, unfortunately, we don't always know how to help ourselves feel better. We might even feel guilty for taking time for ourselves. In this episode, I talk about the skill of self-soothing. And it is a skill that we can learn. Like all skills, it takes practice and commitment. What is Self-Soothing? Self-soothing is being comforting, nurturing, gentle and responsive to our own needs. When to Self-Soothe Self-soothing activities reduce vulnerability to Emotion Mind and to acting impulsively and they reduce the sense of deprivation that is often a precursor to feelings of vulnerability. They help people tolerate pain and distress without making things worse. New Podcast: How to Spot a Military Phony Online and Avoid Being Targeted. This new podcast is a limited episode series designed to expose the epidemic of military phony predators trolling online dating and social media platforms. Learn how to identify these cons and keep yourself safe. Please spread the word to anyone you know who uses dating or social media platforms. You can subscribe on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you listen to podcasts. https://anchor.fm/s/730b1bfc/podcast/rss Connect on Social Media You can connect with me on Instagram @fraudulationship or on Facebook @fraudulationship or MegSouth.Fraudulationship. I'd love to hear from you! Review, Subscribe & Share Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts (Anchor doesn't support reviews.) If you find this episode helpful, please subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, Amazon Music, Audible or your favorite podcast app. Here's the RSS link https://anchor.fm/s/670536f8/podcast/rss . Also, be sure to share with anyone you know who may find it helpful. I appreciate your efforts in spreading the word! This podcast is not meant as a substitute for therapy or medical advice. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fraudulationship/message

As we start the new year and are thinking about changes we want to make, I thought it would be helpful to talk about the PLEASE skill. The PLEASE skill is an acronym to help us remember how to take care of our physical bodies to reduce our vulnerability to Emotion Mind and to increase our emotional resilience. New Podcast: How to Spot a Military Phony Online and Avoid Being Targeted. This new podcast is a limited episode series designed to expose the epidemic of military phony predators trolling online dating and social media platforms. Learn how to identify these cons and keep yourself safe. Please spread the word to anyone you know who uses dating or social media platforms. You can subscribe on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you listen to podcasts. https://anchor.fm/s/730b1bfc/podcast/rss Connect on Social Media You can connect with me on Instagram @fraudulationship or on Facebook @fraudulationship or MegSouth.Fraudulationship. I'd love to hear from you! Review, Subscribe & Share Please leave a review on Apple Podcasts (Anchor doesn't support reviews.) If you find this episode helpful, please subscribe on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google, Amazon Music, Audible or your favorite podcast app. Here's the RSS link https://anchor.fm/s/670536f8/podcast/rss . Also, be sure to share with anyone you know who may find it helpful. I appreciate your efforts in spreading the word! This podcast is not meant as a substitute for therapy or medical advice. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/fraudulationship/message

This episode is the 2nd part of an overview of the Emotion Regulation skills in DBT, focusing on skills that can help you be in Emotion Mind less often. You can find part 1 here.  The skills discussed in this episode may not have an immediate impact on how you're feeling, but regular application of these skills over time builds emotional resilience and flexibility. DBT Skills Discussed Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Short-Term Accumulating Positive Emotions in the Long-Term Build Mastery Cope Ahead PLEASE Ask us a Question We'd love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

"BLACK BRILLIANCE" SEGMENT: * @blackvilleapp – Black Business Directory * The Carter's pledge to 2 million to HBCU's * Strav's 30th Birthday this week _________ "OFF MY CHEST" SEGMENT: In this episode, Strav discusses Rational Mind, Emotion Mind, Wise Mind, and Radical Acceptance. And Juan discusses the importance of just being a good person and not putting others down. _________ "THERAPY WOULD HELP..." SEGMENT: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Rihanna's MET Gala Gown meanings... Biden taxing the rich... VMA Performance Controversies... Chlöe Bailey on Body Positivity... Demi Lavato on being sexual... Steve from Blues Clues... Texas Abortion Law... iPhone 13... Michael K Williams rip... NFL is back...   _________ "MEDIA CORNER" SEGMENT:  "Certified Lover Boy" by Drake / "Have Mercy" by Chlöe Bailey / "ShangChi" out in theaters / "Malignant" on HBOMAX / "Dune" coming soon / "Matrix 4" coming soon _________ LISTENER LETTER EMAIL: The boys answer - "How to tell your strict parents your career choice?" _________ Listen as Strav and Juan discuss topics regarding mental health, pop culture/current events, and even reading emails for advice from you, the listeners! Celebrate your #ThrivingThursdays here with us on The Tomorrow Talk! * THEME SONG: “Anxiety” by YB Pilso @ybpilso * PRODUCER: Joseph Fusaro aka “Producer Joe” @sincerely_joe

In this month's episode of TITW, we address a therapy hot topic (and one that Liza and Molly discuss regularly with each other off-air): how to accept feedback in both personal and professional settings, especially when (you perceive) it is negative. We explain why feedback can feel so hurtful to receive, and, on the other side of the dialectic, why it is so often necessary for growth. We share examples from our own lives, particularly throughout our therapist training, of times when even the most upsetting comments have helped us evolve and move toward our values. Understandably, when Emotion Mind shows up, it can be easy to miss the "kernel of truth" in others' input on your behavior. Therefore, we discuss how to use DBT skills in the moment to stay mindful and effective rather than respond impulsively. We give tips on how to manage repetitive negative thoughts related to what was said, and how you might eventually respond once you are in Wise Mind. Finally, we address how to incorporate Self-Respect ("FAST") skills when responding to feedback, particularly if you disagree with the content or how it was delivered. We hope you enjoy and find this episode helpful! ...And speaking of feedback, we welcome your feedback and would love to hear from you! Please email us at TherapistsInTheWild@gmail.com and let us know how you've been enjoying Season 2 so far. If you'd like to support TITW, we would be very grateful for donations of any amount you feel comfortable via Venmo @MollyStDenis. If a donation is not possible at this time, you can still support our work by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you! *Check out our website at therapistsinthewild.com. And follow us on Instagram and Facebook @TherapistsInTheWild, and Twitter @TherapistsWild.

TIPP  Tip the Temperature  Intense Exercise  Paced Breathing Paired Muscle Relaxation    Disclaimer Anxiety Help With Wes is not meant to take place of a therapist or doctor. I am not a licensed professional counselor. And while I am a school counselor, content and stories discussed reflect in no way on education or the school system in which I work. About Me I've found there is a great need for those facing anxiety and depression. I see many people struggle to find effective help and even then the process ain't easy. I myself have experienced severe panic attacks and depersonalization disorder. After getting through what felt hopeless at times, I'm here to provide stories of recovery and connect with you. If you find this helpful, please rate and review. Feel free to email support@anxietyhelpwithwes if you'd like to connect further. YouTube Page (with video of this audio recording) https://www.youtube.com/c/WesMurphyAnxietyHelp

Avery, Lucy, and Jamie chat about Wise Mind (aka, “Intuition” or “Knowing”) in the fourth episode. We discuss how to tap into one's inner wisdom through incorporating emotions, thoughts, and the body, rather than over-relying on external sources to make effective decisions. We share stories of our own struggles connecting with Wise Mind and what we have learned to overcome these barriers.In this episode we discuss:Definitions of Wise Mind, Emotion Mind, and Reasonable Mind, as well as providing personal examples of eachGuiding principles of connecting with Wise MindBarriers to tapping into Wise MindHow Wise Mind can be useful to parentingTips for connecting with Wise MindDo try this at home:Listen to all facets of our direct experienceFocus on the breathPause between urges/urgency and behaviorsStop multi-taskingTune in and ask yourself, “What does my wise mind say about this?”

To follow and work with Jessica Anne >> Website: www.iamjessicaanne.com Facebook : Jessica Anne Instagram: The_Jessica_Anne Share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it

As a Therapist, one of the greatest tools we offer is Perspective: in this episode, I invite you to consider the difference between Emotion Mind, Rational Mind, and Wise Mind. When we are playing with perspective, we are able to question our own beliefs, and increase acceptance of others having different beliefs. This isn't an invitation to adopt the beliefs of others - but an invitation to mindfully embody acceptance. You know - if you're into that kind of thing. TOOL: Wise Mind. View each of the Triggered tools offered at https://houstoncreativeartstherapy.com/triggered. Got something you want to share on this episode? E-mail Nina@HoustonCreativeArtsTherapy.com for more info. Be sure to subscribe, share, and rate/write a review if this is your jam friends. New episodes Sundays at 5 PM, ~15 minutes to match your next tea break with a takeaway tool in every episode: subscribe for notifications. Music courtesy of Purple Planet Music at https://www.purple-planet.com.

What the Art & Science of Playing with your Dog? This Podcast we discuss the benefit of playing with renowned International Dog Sports Trainer Julie Daniels. Julie speaks about positive training and how play can be utilised to increase the energy of our dog in whatever Dog Sports we are engaging with. Julie brings us into the concept of play with her unique perspective into the Art and Science of Playing with your dog. Julie uses the Emotion Mind of the late Jaak Panksepp principal to rebuild her strategy in dog training. You can find Julie at Fenzi Dog Sports Academy where she conducts her online classes. You can enrol in her online classes using the link below; https://www.fenzidogsportsacademy.com/index.php/courses/6279?fbclid=IwAR2Cg4JESYHyZq-56ABtHwshSSQSzQwON9oSSu24o_YxeSu6lJi_bzW7yDI SHOW NOTES: FENZI DOG SPORTS ACADEMY PUPS DOG TRAINING PUPSTERS@IG PUPSTERS@FACEBOOK TRAIN YOUR DOG PODCAST@FB --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/pupssg/message

Dr. Elizabeth Bonet gives practical tips about taking control of your intense emotions and how to move out of Emotion Mind and into Wise Mind. Listen in to make better decisions that lead to more effectiveness in your life! If you find yourself feeling a little lost and wanting to set some goals, check out Dr. Liz’s favorite planner. It’s un-dated so you can start anytime of the year. Dreambook Planner (affiliate link):  https://dragontreeapothecary.com/?ref=c9r2pkp0qhw To find out more about Dr. Liz’s Sleep Better, Feel Better Online Group, visit https://bit.ly/sleepbetterfeelbetter -------------------- See more about Dr. Liz and get Free hypnosis files at http://bit.ly/drlizhypnosis Search episodes at the Podcast Page http://bit.ly/HM-podcast Help yourself with Hypnosis Downloads by Dr. Liz! http://bit.ly/HypnosisMP3Downloads Twitter @DrLizBonet#hypnotizemepodcast | YouTube  |  FB  |  LinkedIn --------- A problem shared is a problem halved.In person and Online hypnosis for healing and transformation. Schedule your free consultation at https://www.drlizhypnosis.com. Listened to in over 140 countries, Hypnotize Me is the podcast about hypnosis, transformation, and healing. Certified hypnotherapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Elizabeth Bonet, discusses the research behind hypnosis, interviews professionals doing transformational work, and talks to individuals who have had hypnosis. Free hypnoses are also given from time to time. If you're interested in learning more about the magic of hypnosis, psychotherapy and mindfulness, this is the perfect place to feed your fascination! Thank you for tuning in! Please subscribe to auto-download new episodes to your listening device. After you listen to a few episodes, please consider leaving an honest rating and review of the podcast. Click on this link: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/hypnotize-me-dr.-elizabeth/id1181272913 Select "View in itunes" Choose "Open in itunes" Choose "Ratings and reviews" Click to rate the number of stars Click "Write a review" Hear my voice in your head saying, "Thank you so much!"

In this episode, Liza describes how she applied the coaching from last week's episode on Problem Solving and Mindfulness of Current Emotions and Thoughts to email her neighbors about the noise, and shares their surprising response ;) We then transition into teaching how to reduce vulnerability to Emotion Mind in order to build a Life Worth Living. We start with the most straightforward (and not always easy) way to take care of your mind by taking care of your body: the PLEASE skills, which, if you've ever been "hangry" like we have, you will intuitively understand. We then discuss how Accumulating Positive Emotions in the short-term by doing one pleasant activity per day increases the likelihood that you will respond effectively to whatever life throws at you -- like putting money away for a rainy day. Lastly, we explain how to Accumulate Positive Emotions in the long-term in order to build a Life Worth Living. This is done by identifying core values, which give our lives meaning, and using those values to guide the process of setting goals and taking action steps. We hope you enjoy! *Please email us at therapistsinthewild@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram or Facebook @therapistsinthewild with examples of pleasant daily activities you engage in so we can share them on social media and on next week's episode!

This episode, we start by reviewing how to have a Nonjudgmental stance. Liza shares a "fire-y" example, and Molly tries to channel her dogs by adopting a "beginner's mind." Then, we get into the skill of the week: consulting Wise Mind to act Effectively. We teach you to be the captain of your own ship, to make decisions taking into account both your goals and the context you're in. We describe the differences between Emotion Mind, Reasonable Mind, and Wise Mind, and then show you how to get into Wise Mind with an impromptu mindfulness exercise. Finally, Liza coaches Molly on using her Wise Mind to act Effectively when anger shows up. We hope you enjoy! Please share your feedback and questions with us at therapistsinthewild@gmail.com. Stay skillful!

Today, Marielle and Ed continue to discuss DBT skills to cope during a pandemic. We are all going through a collective trauma and need extra support. The DBT skill called Check The Facts is explored. We also explore the difficulty in using this skill during a time when things are rapidly changing and uncertain. Using Check the Facts coupled with Mindfulness may be helpful to remind yourself that that you are ok right in this moment. The importance of dialectics is also discussed to avoid getting stuck in either/or thinking and rigidity. Flexibility helps us respond to an ongoing highly stressful situation, rather than react.  Gentleness with ourselves and others is very important right now. We all need an extra dose of patience and self-compassion. Some people are pressuring themselves to do a lot during this time, not quite realizing what an emotionally exhausting time this is. Continual anxiety is draining. You are not going to be able to do it all and that’s ok. Watch out for berating yourself for not doing more. Marielle and Ed also review PLEASE skills that help you regulate your emotions and decrease your vulnerability to Emotion Mind by focusing on caring for your physical well-being. To learn more about this podcast and get full show notes, go to www.bayareadbtcc.com Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.  Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Today’s show covers the DBT skill called Pros and Cons. While most of us have already done informal pro and con lists in our heads when facing a tough decision, the DBT take on Pros and Cons is a little different.  Pros and Cons is great to use in anticipation of problem behaviors like avoiding, lashing out, shutting down, self-harm, or any kind of addictive behavior. Just make sure that you’re in your Wise Mind when you write out your Pros and Cons list, rather than Emotion Mind.  We review states of mind during this episode as well, in case you’re unfamiliar with the concepts of Wise Mind, Emotion Mind, and Reasonable Mind. We also review the SUDs scale, or Subjective Units of Distress, to help you become familiar with what different distress levels feel like for you. Pros and Cons is part of the Distress Tolerance module and all the skills in Distress Tolerance are designed to help you get through a crisis or stressful situation without making things worse. Towards the end of the podcast, Marielle guides Ed through a Pros and Cons list for procrastination. You might be surprised at what is discovered! To learn more about this podcast and get full show notes, go to www.bayareadbtcc.com Ask us a Question We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.  Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Would you like to know more about DBT and where it all started? In today's episode, Marielle and Ed will be looking into the background and development of DBT. They will discuss dialectics and the concept of Wise Mind and give an introduction to mindfulness. Tune in to find out more. Dialectics is about balancing two things that could be seen as opposite, yet also as true. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was created towards the end of the 1980s, by Marsha Linehan, who started out doing Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) with suicidal and self-harming clients. She later added the dialectical component to more effectively treat people experiencing intense emotional suffering. Show Highlights: Why Ed finds dialectics to be helpful for intense suffering. Ed defines the term 'dialectics'. Always balancing acceptance and change with dialectics. With dialectics, two opposing things can be true at the same time. Moving away from 'black-and-white' thinking. DBT has been effective in treating people with different kinds of emotional dysregulation. Wise mind is an ideal state, a work in progress, and an internal sense of doing the right thing, even if it's hard. Wise mind is the combination of our Emotion Mind and our Reasonable mind. What Emotion Mind looks like. What Reasonable Mind looks like. Wise Mind can lead us to that place of intuition or inspiration. There are many ways to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness helps us to access Wise Mind. Ed gives a mindfulness breathing exercise to help you to access Wise Mind. Mindfulness is the foundational skill of DBT. The mindfulness that is practiced in DBT isn't meditation. What is mindfulness? Depression lives in the past. Much of our distress comes from focusing on the past or the future and not on the present moment. Mindfulness allows for choice. Mindfulness is both external and internal. Dealing with some of the problems with practicing mindfulness.   Resource: Book by Marsha Linehan - DBT Skills Training Handouts and Worksheets   Links: You can find us online at https://bayareadbtcc.com/  Ask Us a Question! We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here.  Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

Welcome! Part 2 of How NOT to fly off the Handle! Dr. Elizabeth Bonet gives practical tips about taking control of your intense emotions, how to move out of Emotion Mind and into Wise Mind. Make better decisions that lead to more effectiveness in your life! I would LOVE to know more about my listeners! Please take the brief 5 question anonymous survey at https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/T8NWSK9 See Show Notes and the link to the survey at http://www.drlizhypnosis.com/episode91 Help yourself with easy Hypnosis Downloads by Dr. Liz! http://bit.ly/HypnosisMP3Downloads --------- See more about Dr. Liz and get Free hypnosis files at http://bit.ly/drlizhypnosis Podcast Page  http://bit.ly/HM-podcast Twitter @DrLizBonet #hypnotizemepodcast Instagram  @DrLizBonet YouTube http://bit.ly/DrLiz-YouTube FB page http://bit.ly/2eZ9rjG Dr. Liz's book http://amzn.to/2gE08FJ --------- Hypnotize Me is the podcast about hypnosis, transformation, and healing. Certified hypnotherapist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Dr. Elizabeth Bonet, discusses the research behind hypnosis, interviews the professionals doing it, and talks to individuals who have had hypnosis to see what happened afterwards. Free hypnoses are also given from time to time. If you're interested in learning more about the magic of hypnosis, psychotherapy and mindfulness, this is the perfect place to feed your fascination! Thank you for tuning in! Please subscribe to auto-download new episodes to your listening device. After you listen to a few episodes, please consider leaving an honest rating and review of the podcast.