A comedy podcast hosted by 3 dudes with nothing better to do.
We are back! Well, for now at least. To kick things off we catch up a bit and see how life has been in Tampa for Zack and Leeann. they tell us a bit about the beer scene and how many breweries there really our down there. Waaaaay more than you would think. Since they've been down there they have also acquired SeaWorld/Busch Gardens passes. Of course we dive into the parks at that point. Coming back from our second break we try Paul's homemade brews. Surprisingly they aren't that bad! The final third of the show gets a little serious but hopefully you stick around with us. We bring the comedy back to close out the show (well we think so at least), Anyway, thank you to all those who tuned in or download< we hope to see you again sometime soon! Music Featured in the Show: There For Tomorrow - The Remedy / Neck Deep - Rock Bottom / Dance Gavin Dance - Stroke God, Millionaire / Saosin - Translating The Name / Asking Alexandria - The Black / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!..for now
Parting is such sweet sorrow... is what I say if this was our final show. This isn't our final show but merely our first into a new format. We kick show #76 with Snoop Dogg narrating some Planet Earth. Well it actually took us a while to get the audio to work but we eventually got it going. As always we talk about the beers we're enjoying tonight (shout out to Celery City). Coming back from break we discuss our weekend. As you guys may know drinking ensued. Everyone take a close listen around the 52 minute mark where a creepy Japanese girl laughs and is picked up on the show. We round out the show with the normal news stories. Well, normal is all relative. After news we end it with a special group BuzzFeed quiz. "How well do you know Gay sex?". Pretty well we think. Thank you so much to all those who have tuned in every week to listen to this. We truly appreciate all of you. We will back, better than ever. Well, maybe not that, but we'll be here for sure. Love all you guys! See you soon! Music Featured in the Show: AFI - End Transmission / The Starting Line - Leaving / Thrice - In Exile / A New Found Glory - Goodbye Song / Memphis May Fire - Possibilities / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!..for now
Show #75! 3/4's of a century. This week was a bit a bit tough for us. It is with heavy hearts we announce that Zack and Leeann are moving to Tampa. However, the show will continue. We will bring you at least one studio show a month and plan a mobile show when we can. Its a bummer but we'll still be here! Tonight we kick things off with what apps we have on our phones. Things ranging from adult apps for banking and grocery shopping to games for lil babies like Boom Beach and Words with Friends. Coming back from break we discuss what everyone else in the world is talking about; if you won the lotto, what would you do? For the final segment we kick things off with non other than our famous BuzzFeed quizzes! Staying true to No Guarantees fashion we also bring you the hard hitting news stories. Thanks to Leeann for doing the work and finding those stories so we don't have to. Anyway guys, thanks for listening and we will see you next week for show #76! Music Featured in the Show: A Day To Remember - NJ Legion Iced Tea / The Paper Chase - The Kids Will Grow Up to Be A**holes / Lacey Strum - Impossible / Bring Me The Horizon - Doomed / Four Year Strong - Me Are From Mars, Women Are From Hell / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!..for now
Happy New year!!! It's 2016 aaaaand, not much has changed. We're ok with that though, we like our formula. Obviously with New Years just passing we recap how we spent our New Years Eve. Some of us remember, some of us don't (Leeann). We have a new favorite show and it is hosted by none other than Stone Cold Steve Austin. What more do you really need?! Paul, excuse me, Captain Paul rented a boat this weekend and had a river adventure. Go donate to our Go Fund Me and help Paul buy a boat! Anyone that donates, Paul will personally take out on his boat! Coming back into the third segment we take our weekly Buzzfeed quiz. This week, Which Disney Villain Is Your Sugar Daddy? We wrap things up with some of Leeanns news stories. While this week they weren't necessarily di*k related, they were interesting none the less. See you guys next week when we turn 3/4 century old with show #74! Music Featured in the Show: Contest of Arms - Prom Night Sacrifice / Twenty One Pilots - Ride / Panic! At The Disco - Hallelujah / Contest of Arms - Sharp Is Safe, Dull Is Dangerous / Contest of Arms - If Girls Were Bogies, I’d Be A Top Gun / Check out Contest of Arms on iTunes here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/artist/contest-of-arms/id1071158618 Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Welcome to the last show of the year! Show #73! Coming right off of Christmas we get into what some of our best and worst gifts are and how do you play off appreciating them. This week we talk a lot about what is going on in the world, universe even! Maybe you've heard of the Miss Universe Pageant? If not, thats fine, its been irrelevant for a few years. not this year though, and we thank Steve Harvey for that. We discuss movie etiquette tonight, like what is the appropriate time after a movie comes out to talk about it. We feel this is a real hot topic issue. The night ends with some new as usual. This weeks news was all di*k related news, which i guess isn't any different from any other week. We'd like to thank everyone who started listening this year and has told friends and family to tune in. It is appreciated more than you know and we hope to bring you even more in 2016! See you all next year! Music Featured in the Show: The Starting Line - Anyways / Cartel - Honestly / MGK (ft. Kid Rock) - Bad Mother Fucker / Joywave - Destruction / Twenty One Pilots - Stressed Out / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Happy holidays! This week is our Christmas extravaganza show! We get right into things with a phone call (thats right phone lines are actually up!) from our buddy Mitch who tells us how bad his holiday season is going. Festive right off the bat. We talk about some of the better gifts we received in Christmas passed. Our buddy James who was sitting in told us about some of his Jehovah Witness past and how he didn't celebrate holidays. Second segment we kick things off with a show staple, Buzzfeed quizzes. As always the recap of our weekend is on the list. We attended The News Junkies "Just OK Holiday" party. Paul tells us about his company christmas party. We end things out in the typical fashion of news. There we're definitely some good ones this week. We hope everyone out there has a great holiday and look forward to being back next week to tell all the christmas stories! Music Featured in the Show: New Found Glory - Ex-Miss / August Burns Red - Joy to the World / August Burns Red - Little Drummer Boy / From First To Last - Santapacolypse / August Burns Red - We Wish You A Merry Christmas / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show #71! Still not as good as 69. Well. We start things off with our weekends, much like we always do. Zack got real drunk off some rum on Friday. It didn't take very much either. Everyone seems to have that one drink though that doesn't take much to put them over the edge. Paul spent his weekend setting up his own home brew! We'll be trying it live on the show sometime in January. In the second segment we kicked things off with a couple BuzzFeed quizzes. An era comes to an end soon, we're of course talking about Playboy. Pamela Anderson is set to be the final model, agree or disagree? After the second break we come back and talk about what the worst disabilities are. Deaf, blind, loss of limbs, we discuss it all. To end the night we give Paul shit for not having a Facebook. This guy won't give in, so sorry to all those who thought they may someday be able to friend himThanks again to all those who tuned in and took part in the chat room, see you guys next week for show #72! Music Featured in the Show: Miike Snow - Genghis Khan / August Burns Red - Oh Holy Night / August Burns Red - Jingle Bells / Coldrain - Gone / August Burns Red - God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069
Better late than never right?! That's what we say. Anywayyyy, check out our mobile recording from Tom & Dan's Bad At Business Beer Fest 2015. We caught up with our buddies from the BYOCB show and had an all around great time. Special thanks to T&D for organizing another great event!
Welcome to show number 70!!! Blalalalalala! Aw man, doesn't feel the same. Anyway, we recap our weekend to start things off. We visited the Red Cypress Brewery in Winter Springs. Great beers, awesome hangout place. Try it out if you're in the area. We also break down the tiers of trailer parks. Surprisingly not just poor people own them. Our second segment was almost entirely dick talk. What else would we talk about? Length, width, girth, you name it. To round things out we discuss weird cashier conversations. We've all had this happen to us. Its inevitable. This week we lost a fast food great, Bojangles (who Zack has a history with). We finish it up with some failed business talk the get f*ck out. Thanks to all those that listen and download! We will see you next week! Music Featured in the Show: August Burns Red - Flurries / Taking Back Sunday - Sink Into Me / August Burns Red - Sleigh Ride / The Story So Far - Distaste / August Burns Red - Frosty The Snowman / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
The Butterfly, uh uh that’s old, let me see that Tootsie Roll!!! Welcome to show #69 guys!! After taking a week off for the holidays we come back as average as ever! We discuss Thanksgiving a bit and family traditions that go along with the holidays. Around this time of year Zack gets real tired and we dive into why that could be. Since we didn’t do a show last week we recap the Tom and Dan Bad at Beer Fest. For a free event, there was a whole lot of money spent. That weekend we wrapped things up with Sofa n Suds. An event Zack swore he would never participate again. To round things out we cover some hard hitting news stories. Or whatever we found to be the most entertaining. Thanks for listening guys! See you next week for show #70! Music Featured in the Show: Haste The Day - Accept / M.I.A. - Borders / Bayside - Time Has Come / Wolfmother - Victorious / DJ Darknazty - Freak Show / https://soundcloud.com/dj-darknazty/freak-show Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
I'm gonna be honest, I wish it was next week so we can go ultimate 90s and talk about show 69! Oh Yeah! The first segment was a lot of beer talk this week. Paul visited the new Red Cypress Brewery which sounds super badass. This weekend is also the Tom & Dan Bad at Business Beer Fest. Come find us and have a beer with us! Our friends at BYOCB have challenged us to a cornhole contest at said beer fest. That was a mistake. Make sure to come by and put some monies down on this intense game. We talk a bit about how out of shape Zack is and any sort of physical activity pushes him to the point of being sick. After last weeks show we found out that listening at half speed is way funnier. Seriously try it out! In the third segment we come back with some news, like always! Thanks for hanging out with us, we really cant wait for next week for show number sixty niiiiiiiine! Blalalalalalala! See you guys next week. Music Featured in the Show: Emarosa - Pretend.Relive.Regret / Drake - Hotline Bling / Memphis May Fire - Jezebel / The Used - A Box Full of Sharp Objects / Beck - Dreams / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Heeeey guys whats going on? Rhetorical question, you can’t answer here. On this weeks show we cover the hard hitting stuff. Why is Starbucks changing their holiday, excuse me, Christmas cups? (But really, holiday cups). Zack parties with his parents and their friends this weekend and does a little bit of gambling. He also attends his first hockey game and is spoiled by having box seats. This week we give you two, yes two, Buzzfeed quizzes! We end the show with some news stories. SeaWorld is trying to clean up their image a bit, a lady in Pennsylvania is keeping people captive in her basement and Paul finds the ultimate racist. Thanks for listening guys! see next week for show #68! Music Featured in the Show: A Day To Remember - City of Ocala / Ellie Goulding - On My Mind / City and Colour - Wasted Love / Separations - Dream Eater / The Wombats - Give Me A Try / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Happy Monday all! Join us as we take a trip down memory lane in our first segment. We venture back to 90s and how it was a much better time. It was another eventful weekend in the No Guarantees camp. On Friday Zack had his first show ever with his band The Tell. Nothing better than drinking and listening to some dad bands. On Saturday we move over to downtown Sanford and the West End. We watched possibly one of the best local metal shows in history. Tables, ladders, and chairs, oh my! After drunkenly stumbling home we drink some more. Zack tells the story of how he fell asleep in the bathroom and woke up in Pauls bedroom. We end the show in typical fashion wit a buzzed quiz and some news stories. Thanks for hanging around with us and we'll see you guys next week! Music Featured in the Show: Thrice - Yellow Belly / The Arcs - The Arc / Four Year Strong - Gravity / Counterparts - Tragedy / Wild Cub - Colour / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Hellllooo, thanks for checking out show #65! Unfortunately, Jesse is still unable to make it in this week, guy is work crazy! We have our buddy Chris aka Pizza Piesenberg again though swell as Leeann. This weekend was a full one for sure. Nonstop action from Friday to Sunday. Join us as we tell all our embarrassing stories. With Halloween upon us we talk a little bit about the logic of handing out drugs instead of candy. We also discuss which state favors which costume. To wrap it up we have a few news stories as always. We had a great time tonight and laughed a lot. Hopefully you guys do to! Thanks for downloading and hanging with us! Until next week guys! Music Featured in the Show: The Story So Far - Things I Can’t Change / Mayday Parade - One of Them Will Destroy the Other / Natalie Imbruglia - Torn / State Champs - Elevated / The Neighborhood - R.I.P. 2 My Youth /
So I (Zack) wanted to play only Nintendo 64 songs on our breaks today seeings that it is show #64, Paul shot me down though. Anywaaaay, this week Jesse is out of town so we have our buddy Chris (aka Pizza Piesenberg) in. Early on we talk about the big beer merger that happened this week. All the big brews joining the same team to try and shut down the micro brew trend. Never gonna happen. Have you guys heard that Playboy is going to stop having nude girls in their magazine? What?! how does that even work? We talk a bit about the crazy cloud cities in China. Yes, cloud cities. For real, look it up, its crazy! To finish it off we get real spacey on you guys and touch on the latest going on in the universe. Thanks for checking us out guys, make sure to rate us 5 stars on iTunes and like us on Facebook. See you guys next week! Music Featured in the Show: Atlas Genius - Molecules / Polyenso - 17 New Years / Citizen - Cement / Escape the Fate - Les Enfants Terribles / Wavves - Way Too Much / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
We’re finally back to a full cast tonight! Jesses isn’t stuck at work, Pauls not in Europe, and Zack, well he never went anywhere. We also have our friend Joyce in studio tonight to tell us about living in Alaska the past few years. Jesse may be the new owner of a home in Austin, Texas. Should he sell it, rent it, or maybe just keep it and move?! (hopefully the last). There was no real direction this week and were kind of all over the place. We bring back the ever famous Buzzfeed quiz and in rare form we all got different results. Thankfully we didn’t run into any audio difficulties this week and it should be smooth sailing next week for show number 64. See you guys monday! Music Featured in the Show: Coheed & Cambria - You Got Spirit, Kid / Phoenix - Lisztomania / Hawthorne Heights - The Darkest Times / New Found Glory - Ready And Willing II / Yellowcard - Always Summer / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show number 61, you thought last weeks show was the best one ever, you couldn't be more wrong. This week we bring the actual A-Team, Sam and Travis, and bring you actual content. We discuss beard comb-overs, as well as shower habits of some people. We get an update on Zack's Playstation 4 and discuss how I went to the Janet Jackson concert for free. We'll be back to our regular time next week as Paul tells us all about his Europe trip.
Show number 60! Paul is off to Europe and guess what, we don't need him. We've assembled the best crew known to man to bring you the best show we have ever done, No Guarantees. We head off to the Hammered Lamb to have some amazing brunch and celebrate Piesenburg's birthday. We may have gotten a little crazy but that's why you listen to the show. We have guest appearances by none other than Big Rick and our #1 Fan Nick, who has the dick to prove it. Stick around because Paul is also gone next week, and the show will be even better, as always No Guarantees.
Show number 59! Oh man, tonight was a good one. We have our friends Ashley and Libby sit in with us this week and help recap our weekend. I literally can't even type what we talked about right now because its all over the place. We had a long weekend out in Cocoa for the tom and Dan BDM event. You just have to listen, really. This isn't even a "get you to listen" tactic. We broke a record tonight and went a whole 4 segments! Thats right, 4! We had a long weekend and make sure to fill you in. I wish i had more of a description to give you but it really does no justice to tell you if you don't listen. Thanks to all that hung out this week, the next two shows will be Zack and Jesse bringing you some mobile shows so look forward to that. We wish Paul a good time in Europe and hope he comes back with some good stories to tell. Until next time, thanks for hanging out! See you next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: T.I. - Broadcast Live / Bring Me The Horizon - True Friends / Finch - What it is to Burn / My Children My Bride - Headshot! / Bea Miller - Fire N Gold / The Black Keys - Tighten Up / The Starting Line - Bedroom Talk / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Happy Labor Day! Whatever the hell that means now. Anyway, we have a packed house tonight! Some old guests, some new guests and everything in between (idk whats in between). We're 0-60 in like 2 seconds tonight. To start off we talk about the best of 90s kids game show prizes. From that we move onto beans in a bag. Yes thats right, beans in a bag. Just listen. In the second segment we move into cobra talk. Have you heard the good news?! $50,000 bounty for the capture of the Orlando King Cobra! In the third segment we talk a bit about the Kim Davis controversy. To round it out we discuss proper neighbor etiquette. Tonight was a great time and thanks to everyone that came in! See you guys next week for show number 59! Music Featured in the Show: Midtown - Give It Up / Simple Plan - Boom / Dance Gavin Dance - We Own The Night / Ludacris - Money / Nothing But Thieves - Itch / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Zacks not here now so I'm gonna give this a go! Tonight was off the rails from the beginning. We started off with yelling at Jesse for getting us sick and missing last week's show. Who else get's high off cold pills? We do...get down with the sickness. The show then takes a turn into our deepest and darkest dreams. Are ghosts real? Probably...we won't risk it. Second segment goes back into some standard No Guarantees topics, how we would pick up dudes at a bar. Jeopardy...it's the question first. Jesse is back with his stupid stories and they're better than ever. (Maybe not...you can be the judge) Anyway Show #57 is in the books, take a listen and don't let us know what you think. See you next week! Music Featured in the Show: Jme - Man Don’t Care / Slaves - Drowning In My Addiction / Drag - Day Wave / The Struts - Could Have Been Me / The Wombats - Give Me A Try / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Unfortunately, Jesse was out sick this week. We wish him a big "get well soon". That being said, the show must go on! This week we have the one and only Pizza Piesenberg in studio with us! We recap the weekend of Lagunitas events and how Chris blew it a couple Stetson hotties. To counter his total debauchery we discuss the woman in Indiana who "married god". Then to completely counter that we talk a little bit about the Ashley Madison hack going on and how dumb you have to be to actually get caught. From there we keep the sexual talk going with the man with the six million dollar penis. Which if you're wondering will buy you 8 inches. We finish it out with a couple news stories, one being that Japan is sending hard liquor to their people in the ISS (which we fully support). To end it out we talk about Spain and their odd obsession with festivals involving animals. Which if you're an activist of any sort you won't want to hear. As always guys its been fun and we will see you next week for show #57! Music Featured in the Show: Run - Coin / Scavenger - A Static Lullaby / Young & Aspiring - Underoath / Soundtrack - Yellowcard / My Type - Saint Motel / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Tonights show was completely off the rails. No organization to it whatsoever. The first segment was literally just masturbation talk. 30 minutes of it, so enjoy! After the first break we reveal what TacoBell item each one of us we are as decided by BuzzFeed. After that its just a shit show of tangents. In the final segment we discuss our weekend. Not much different than any other, drink a lot, pass out, get up, drink more. We did attend an event at a certain piano bar in Orlando though so we discuss that a bit. Anybody that's interested in grabbing some beers with the No Guarantees guys, we will be at cafe DaVincis in DeLand for the Lagunitas "Keep the Jar" night. Buy an IPA you keep the mason jar. Pretty simple. Saturday the 22nd we will be at World of Beer Lake Mary for Lagunitas keg tapping of Citrusenensis and Chicago Fusion XXX. Come hang with us, get a coozie, some Lagunitas schwag and a beer with us! After that we'll be heading to Tomoka Brewery to end the night on a high note! Music Featured in the Show: Left, Right - YG / To Plant A Seed - We Came As Romans / Writing On The Walls - Underoath / Chesterfield King - Jawbreaker / What I’ve Done - Linkin Park / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Feels like it's been a another year already but alas it has only been 2 shows since the 1 year. Only 50 more to go! Recently we've noticed a direct correlation between "art" and homeless people. We dive into what gives value to "art" and how there really is no true "ones own perception" anymore. Also we found out if making money as an artist doesn't pan out you could make a cool $51,000 as a Taco Bell manager. Coming back from break Paul gets excited over some Republican talk. He still has a boner. Tonight we come up with, what we think is, a million dollar idea. Death Row Hunger Games. Pretty much is exactly what it sounds like. To finish off the night we talk about another one of our new ideas, beer insurance. Sounds pretty foolproof to us. As always we end it with some of Jesses Stories. Thanks for hanging with us again guys and make sure to tell your friends about us! The more listeners, the more cool things we can do with you guys! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: Happy Song - Bring Me The Horizon / Parallels - As I Lay Dying / One Shot One Kill - Dr. Dre (ft. Snoop Dogg & Craig Owens) / Alien - The Devil Wears Prada / Till It's Gone - Yelawolf / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
I'm trying to type a summary but I'm way too interested in the new porno that Jesse has supplied me with, which in this show you'll find out how Zack is in a bit of a porno rut. To start off though we recap Fridays ! year anniversary event. Thank you to everyone that made it out! We had a great time and plan to do more events like this in the future! After recap the drunken shenanigans we get into some more discussion type topics like Cecil the Lion. After the "serious" talk, we get into our fratboy douche neighbors at the Orlando City match this past weekend. To end the show Jesse gives us a couple stories including some girls scamming ISIS and UFO's flying over Wisconsin and Japan, which branches off into alien talk. Thanks for listening guys and we hope to make it another year with all of you! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: No Diggity - Chet Faker / Long Live - Atreyu / Got To My Head - WATERS / In Fate's Hands - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus / Breathing Underwater - Metric / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show #52! One whole year! First off thank you to all that have tuned in every week and joined us in our drunkin ramblings. To start things off we talk about our experience at a local Japanese sushi restaurant. From Japanese restaurant we go into Japanese porno. (Wouldn't be a show if we didn't do some sort of porno talk). To be honest, I'm pretty drunk and don't remember what the rest of the show consisted of. What else do you expect from a one year show? Anyway, we hope to see you ll this Friday, July 31st at Celery City for our 1 year meet up! 2 free beers and a shot just for showing up! Can't beat that! See you guys there! Music Featured in the Show: Born For This - Paramore / Trip Switch - Nothing But Thieves / Homeless Jazz - Letlive / In the Belly of a Shark - Gallows / The Flood - Escape The Fate / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show #51! 1 away from the big 1 year! We start this week with wet dreams. Have you ever had one? From there we go into Paul's 10 year reunion. Apparently not much has changed. After the first break we get into a little bit of a more serious subject. When should people just mind their own business and when should they get involved? We actually had a great call from our buddy Owen on the subject and it felt good to have a bit of a discussion that wasn't about dicks. In the final segment we talk about how we feel the Special Olympics and Olympics should be a bit more intertwined. Theres nothing i can really say here to explain this so you'll just have to listen. Make sure everyone checks out our event Friday July 31st at Celery City in downtown Sanford! 2 free beers and a shot! If thats not incentive, i don't know what is. Music Featured in the Show: Outta My Mind - The Arcs / Leave a Trace - Chvrches / Ride Wit Me - T.I. / Burning Our Morals Away - Slaves/ Heavy is the Heart - Zac Brown Band / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show number 50, we are officially over the hill! Sorry, dad joke. I'm gonna cut to the chase, we had absolutely nothing planned for this show. It was 100% off the cuff. So enjoy the ramblings of three drunken idiot friends. After all, that's what this show is based off right? Make sure you check out our 1 year event on Facebook! It's going to be at Celery City in downtown sanford on July 31st. We can already guarantee you 1 free beer and 1 free shot! Make sure to keep track to see what else we have in the works for you. See you guys next week for show number 51! Oh so close to that 1 year mark of 52 shows! Music Featured in the Show: Monsters - Matchbook Romance / I Told Her I Invented Times New Roman - Dance Gavin Dance / Martyrs - August Burns Red / Got Money - Lil Wayne / The Future Freaks Me Out - Motion City Soundtrack / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Welcome back! It feels good to be back in studio and have the guys back together! As you may know (or don't) Paul was on vacation last week, which was why there was no live show. Obviously the first thing we dive into is Paul's trip. Only Paul would pay for a hotel and then not stay in it. Not only does he choose to sleep in his car, he also gets blackout drunk and meets a new friend! After vacation talk we fall back into the usual Monday night discussions. don't you think palm readers would make a good front for a happy ending business. I mean, sounds like there's money to be made! To close out we get a few stories from Jesse, some stupid, some we're really excited about. It's always a bit rough to get back in the swing of things after a week off but we had a good time tonight and appreciate all who joined us! We'll be back next week ready to go with all the innapropriate things we always have to talk about, see you then! Music Featured in the Show: High - Zella Day / Take Back the Power - The Interrupters / Feels Like Forever - Of Mice & Men / Back Against the Wall - Two Tongues / Fucked Up Kids - Hit The Lights / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
With Paul being on a trip to Tennessee, it's up to Zack and Jesse to hold the show together with our limited knowledge on how to actually record audio. We head Downtown to some of our favorite bars and give you another mobile cast. We talk about how old people are like lizards, as well as Hope Solo's uhhh "problems", and the legalization of Gay marriage, finally! We had an interview with a Canadian band, Autopilot, but were asked to redact it for some ridiculous reason. In true No Guarantees style we kept the audio and will save it for a rainy day. Thanks again for listening to the show and we will be back next week with a regular in studio show.
Show number 48! Man does time fly. Almost 1 year! We start this week with another one of Zacks medium experiences. It's about time he's honed his skills in. After our first break we bring it back with some of Jesses Stupid Stories. This weeks are just, muah! Also on the board tonight we talk about how hell can't be all that bad. I mean it has to be pretty much just a party life right? We dive into some cruise talk after that and Zack gets a liiitle ranty (To be fair, he has a bit of a point). We end this week with some vintage video game talk. Whats the best console and games to go along with it? Tonight was super fun and thanks to all that joined us. We won't be here next week but Zack and Jesse are planning on putting a mini show together so look for that! See you guys in a couple weeks! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: Head First In The River - Envy On The Coast / Supernova - The Devil Wears Prada / Welcome - Fort Minor / Cosmopolitan Blood Loss - Glass Jaw / Let It Bleed - The Used / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
The show started like any other, dicks. At least thats what everyone in the room is telling me right now. I can't remember (by I, I mean Zack). Did anyone see the biggest movie in the world right now? Of course i mean Jurassic World. Paul did, which got us talking about our new favorite character, Dinosaur Consultant. Who here likes the internet? Well it looks like as soon as 2018 it will be available to everyone, everywhere in the world! What could possibly go wrong, right? Any ladies out there wear tube tops? Well maybe you shouldn't. for your own safety. Listen to the show and you'll learn why. This week was tangent crazy so I'm sure I'm missing quite a few topics in here, but if i told you everything now you'd have no reason to listen! So get to it! See you guys next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: We All Float Down Here - Four Year Strong / Bad Habit - The Kooks / The Could Be Anywhere In The World - Alexisonfire / Image Of The Invisible - Thrice / Gone - Bouncing Souls / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Mondays am I right?! Good thing it we're back with a brand new show! Does anyone have trouble drinking at the beach? Well Paul seemed to have a bit of an issue. Any tips feel free to email us at noguaranteesshow@gmail.com. Speaking of the beach and the sun, who buys good sunglasses? Literally all of Jesses are promo/free sunglasses. After the first break we discuss tattoos and when is it too much? Of course we mean on women and when they're naked. We had no direction this week so from that we went directly into Jurassic Park. To end the show we discuss how women periods sync and what the equivalent to men would be. which of course leads to more dick talk. What else did you expect? Well on that note, we will see you guys next week! Thanks for listening! Music Featured in the Show: Defector - Muse / Right Now - SR-71 / Renegades - X-Ambassadors / Devil In Jersey City - Coheed & Cambria / The Ghosts of Beverly Drive - Death Cab For Cutie / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Hey guys! This show is the 3 of us over at our favorite watering hole Celery City Craft over in Downtown Sanford. They were celebrating their 1 year anniversary and we figured we'd crash the party! Pretty sure we reached all time lows on this one, but it was a fun time as always. Thanks to our buddy Pizza Piesenberg for stopping by and joining us for the 3rd segment and providing us some nourishment from the gods (aka pizza...what else would it be?). Anyway, check it out and let us know what you think. As always, thanks for listening and supporting the show! -Paul
You know what they say right?...better late than never! No Guarantees proudly (and finally) presents our mobile podcast straight from the deck of the Royal Caribbean Enchantment of the Seas. 28 minutes of utter chaos, but what would you really expect from this group? Enjoy!
Hello, hello! Another week and another brand new No Guarantees! We dive into a bit of nostalgia this week with old school fast food toys. Who was your favorite? After the first break we come back hard with our go to subject, dicks. Zacks in particular. For the final segment we get all over the place. We discuss Fake Taxi (yooouu know), from there we jump into Jesse's Stories. It's as disappointing as ever. Thanks for tuning in guys, see you in 5-8 days!!! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: Reapers - Muse / Ex’s & Oh’s - Elle King / A Midwestern State Of Emergency - Silverstein / Lost in the Crowd - Bassnecter / Wild for the Night - A$AP Rocky / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Welcome back friends! I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet this week. Tonight was all about the cruise. We recap what was probably one of our most alcohol filled weekends. Look forward to a bonus mobile cruise cast also coming later this week. Plus, we will have a ton of video to help you relive the memories with us. Thanks for everyone that joined us in the chat room on Mixlr, if you haven't joined yet, get on it! See you guys next week with a brand new No Guarantees! Music Featured in the Show: Nightlife - Off With Their Heads / Pigs Is Pigs - Every Time I Die / Bitches & Marajuana - Chris Brown / Best Friend - Foster The People / Magnolia - The Early November / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
After a week off we are back! We again apologize about no show last week but we did do a mobile show to make up for it, so make sure you check that out as well. It was a bit of a rough week for Zack, his house was broken into! Luckily we can still talk and joke about it enough to share with you guys. Once we get the serious stuff out of the way, it's right back into where we left off. We discuss our Cinco De Mayo holiday and get into cruise talk after. Honestly, I don't think any of us are prepared. It will probably be the most debauchery filled weekend we will ever have. Don't worry though, we'll do our best to record it. As per usual now, we finish up with some of "Jesse's stupid stories". Apparently this week though it should have been "Paul's stupid stories". Thanks to all those that joined in on Mixlr this week. We look forward to chatting with you all when we get back! Until then #NoGuarantees State Champs - Elevated / Straight Up - Me First and the Gimmie Gimmies / Can’t Deny My Love - Brandon Flowers / Electrified - From First to Last / I Am - Hands Like Houses /
Hey guys! Since there was no live show last week, we went ahead and recorded you guys a little bonus content. Enjoy it...or don't...I'm your fucking dad.
Do I really need to keep writing these? I mean really, does anybody read these? Well just incase you do, i'll write a description. As always we cover the previous weekend. I'm sure you can already guess. Drinking. We did two (thats right!) two buzzed quizzes this week! You're welcome. I don't know about you, but for me, a sporting event brings out my inner American. Personally, we think events can be kicked up a notch. We end this week (as we will end most of the time now) with Jesses Stupid Stories. You know the drill, he gets stories, we make fun of them. Thanks for tuning in guys, see you all next week! Black Keys - Strange Times / An Evening With Morning Star (Act II) - I, Omega/ Close Your Eyes (And Count to Fuck) - Run The Jewels (Ft. Zack de la Rocha) / St. Patrick - Pvris/ Snake Eyes - Mumford & Sons / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Hey guys! Thought we'd release a little behind the scenes action and give you all a taste of what our pre-show bar sessions are like! As shocking as it may be, we get drunk and talk about dicks...a lot. Our favorite bartender Brett makes an appearance on mic to talk about beers and I tell a story about pissing the bed. No shame ladies and gentlemen...no shame. Enjoy! -Paul
Happy 4/20! We smoked no weed today! We did however drink, per usual. I'm gonna be completely honest with you, I have no idea what we talked about at the beginning of the show. I do know at some point we talked about Zacks dad hanging out with us at Johnnys Other side and telling Paul an interesting little story. Look, I'm gonna level with you (Zack here) I don't remember what we talked about on the show. You're just going to have to listen. You knew what this was. #NoGuarantees God, If You Are Above - Falling In Reverse / The Leaving Song (Part II) - AFI/ Because I Got High - Afroman / Leader of the Titans - Mors Principium Est/ Something’s Gotta Give - All Time Low / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Show number 40, wow, Can't believe you guys have stuck around this long. As it was last week it was just the original 3 this week. Shoutout this week to Brett from Celery City who always does a good job getting us buzzed before the show. Over the last couple weeks we discussed the Large Hadron Collider and its possible affects on the universe, so this week we tell you how in the future we go back to the past to save time now. #TheOwlLives. Megacon was this weekend, anybody go? We didn't but we'll still talk about our favorite parts. Tits. To wrap things up we discuss how we're getting older and things like healthcare is more revenant. Wouldn't it be better though if we could just get the ol' Bohemian healthcare? listen and you'll understand. Thanks again for listening guys, see you guys next week and as always #NoGuarantees Ludaversal Intro - Ludacris / Choices (Yup) - E-40/ Iddy Biddy - The Used / It’s My Life - No Doubt / Cath... - Death Cab for Cutie / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Hello, hello, Show number 39. This week its just the boys, no guests. It's good to have that every once in a while. There is a lot of alcohol talk this week. Not that we don't do that every week but more so this tonight. We discuss business ventures in the Amazon or maybe Africa. After skipping one last week, we bring back the BuzzFeed quiz and it's probably one of the best yet. To finish the show off we talk a little bit about how boring sports can be now a days and the way we can improve them. Thanks again for tuning in guys, see you next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: City of Angels - The Distillers / Hollow Moon (Bad Wolf) - AWOLNATION/ Dead Inside - Muse / Nothing Left - As I Lay Dying / A Decade Under The Influence - Taking Back Sunday / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
BLALALALALALALALALALALA BAAAHHHHHH!!!! I'll keep this short and sweet, 22 minutes of the A Mediocre Time crew. Thanks again to Dan, Tom, Ross, and Samantha.
It was a bit of a slow week around the No Guarantees headquarters. Zack was down in Tampa most of the week, luckily he brought a couple stories back with him. One of which involved a gathering of steam punk folk. From there we jump into the Lagunitas Smokeout event that happened on Sunday, where maybe one member of the show lost his soul and then some. If you watched live you witnessed Armwrestlemania 4. For those that missed it, the audio will have to do. Thanks again to Joey and Theron for sitting in on the show tonight. Make sure to check out the bonus content featuring Tom and Dan from A Mediocre Time, right above this post. Music Featured in the Show: Shake It Out - Manchester Orchestra / King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar/ All Day - Kanye West / The Business of Emotion - Big Data / Prayer Of The The Refugee - Rise Against / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Another Monday another show. Tonight we started with the usual ramblings before we got into our St. Paddys Day stories. Jesse definitely let loose the most. It seems over the past week we've frequented the bars a bit more, and oddly enough, there was a high number of goth girls at each one. We discuss the goth girl a bit and try and breakdown her story. Going along with the bar theme we talk a bit about what is proper bar etiquette. To finish things off we talk about how the Swiss are opening a portal for the Lizard people to come back and claim all our asses as their own. Thanks for listening guys! See you next week! #NoGuarantees #LizardPeople Music Featured in the Show: Next Girl - The Black Keys / Got It - Marian Hill/ For The Workforce, Drowning - Thursday / How You Like Me Now - The Heavy / If So - Atlas Genius / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
After a 2 week hiatus we're back! We cover a lot in this weeks show so i'll keep it short and sweet here to let you get to it. We went to the inaugural Orlando City match last weekend and ran into a bit of a bathroom issue. During the week we finished some of our studio upgrades, hence no show this week. Over this past weekend we went to an event at Ember and lost our souls. I'm not gonna tell you anymore than that, i'm gonna make you listen to the show. Thanks for tuning in guys and make sure to tune in next week for an all new No Guarantees! Music Featured in the Show: Psycho - Muse / Up 2 U - Walk The Moon/ Narrow Mouth - The Early November / Sense & Sensibility - Millencolin / Bone Digger - Bear Hands / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
This week we were completely unprepared. Whoops! Every once in a while though you have a down week where not much happens. Maybe we started this too early? You know, maybe should have waited another 10 years to let the stories build up. Once we finally get the ball rolling , we discuss what the equivalent to a woman cupping a guys junk is. Of course it wouldn't be a show if we didn't slip into porn talk. That led us into the topic of how cool would it be to have all the attributes of being gay, yet still be straight when it comes to your sex life. We finish tonight off remembering the cereals of the 90's. Yes, we went from porn to cereal. Welcome to the show. Thanks again to all that tuned in this week. Make sure to tell all your friends about the show and don't feel shy to reach out to us on social media. Until next week guys, no guarantees. Music Featured in the Show: Red Flag - Billy Talent / Lifted Up (1985) - Passion Pit/ Aliens Exist - Blink 182 / Given Up - Linkin Park / If You Wanna Stay - The Griswolds / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
Where to start, where to start? How about Paul's Friday night, which I'm sure is one he won't forget for a long time. We kept the weekend pretty low key after that. Before todays show, Paul and myself (Zack) fell into a Monster Quest marathon. If you've never seen this show, you're in for a treat. Im about to go on a tangent so I'll move on and you can just listen to the show to get our thoughts. Have you ever wondered what wizards actually do? We ponder it a bit and give our take. From wizards we move to aliens. Where are they? I mean c'mon its 2015, its time we've seen some damn aliens. Before we get out of her we want to thank A Mediocre Time for having us in last week. Make sure to check them out at www.tomanddan.com to catch all their latest shows and merch. See you guys next week! #NoGuarantees Music Featured in the Show: All You Need Is Already Within You - Senses Fail / A-List - Sisqo (feat. Waka Flocka Flame)/ Back to Oblivion - Finch / Money - Ludacris / My Hero - Foo Fighters / Call the show LIVE! - (407) 545-6069 Mondays @ 8:30 PM!
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
