Preachers' Kids

Fresh nails and chin hairs (shout out to Phong). I was gonna go see me. Jonathan drives dangerous to school. Light but from a hole of darkness. No! Oh okay, I see what you mean! I want me to be celebrated by me. Jonathan's gonna start bringing bad news. Chance's Dance Hall prices. Plus, Savannah Ellis doesn't disappoint. 

Tara thinks we're fighting. The miseducation of a child actor. Dr. Bible. Jonathan forgot he waited. I laughed so hard at me. No way they're saving it. I don't feel like doing that. Errand hangs. Tara ups her fake-answer game. Plus, Savannah is re-saving herself. 

Ummm when I created the podcast? GSD (clean). I cannot help this person's mom. Would you cuddle Evan Pittfield? Taylor exposes Jonathan's prayer for the well wish that it was. Jesus was one day old when Sterling found him. Rick Warren: a love story. Church is Hooters. Don't act like I started out this show like some foolish little boy. Something + not nothing = astounding. Jonathan said it but didn't mean to. Keep half, you're still a good person. White people, washcloths, and dirty legs. Plus, STERLING WAS A F****** JUGGALO. 

Let's talk about my shirt. My glasses are blue. Roast v. Rib. That's actually a good story that I just made up. We in no way support Sterling's views on the Ying Yang Twins. Cross-checking senses. Accent nail. Waffles and spaghetti. Unseasoned casseroles with raisins. That Bible slaps. I like how you just wear whatever. Plus, I pull from memories and remember patterns.  

Poddfuturecast. Callings. Singing fr fr. It never occurred to me that I might stop. Living room funny. Oh, this is what it's (not) going to be! Repetition. Out of your sorrow. Things people don't say. Curveball trivia! All ten plagues. Plus, he didn't get the job. 

Trying something new. Jonathan, the Creator. Not ON an 8th grader. Jordan's near miss. Keep your self-sabotage to yourself. I apologize for being professional. Never far away. Can't say no to Nana. Every meal? Tara's mom makes a deal. Jordan's dad refuses to sing. Gospel plagiarism. Horizontal relationships. Pascal's wager. Plus, do yourself a favor on June 30. 

Milieu. Maria says I'm good. This is a show. God's done crying about Jonathan. Harrisburg is beautiful. I think the new girl's a vegan. Bawlmore. Tara/Terry. Black history is an opinion. Pick a mommy, Tommy. Lots of DeSantii. Disney adults. Tara doesn't own her stuff. They're hip, they're now. Earth, Wind, Fire, and Tim McGraw. Plus, love.  --

This accidentally special Kendrick-centric episode happens to be dropping a day before the long-awaited new album, Mr. Morale & the Big Steppers, which hadn't yet been announced when the episode was recorded. It was a while ago. Get over it. Grow up. Plus, a guy makes pancakes. 

Unit sex test. I promise to intend to help you. All women by accident. Centimorgans. An experiment in genetics. I'm not mad at you, but I'm mad at my math teacher. Papa Will's Sweet Babies. What would you do for a blue Jolly Rancher? A bad book with bad advice. Plus, we're not calling nearly enough people Satan.     

It only looks like side eye. Is God dope? Church hurt. I just choked on my own story. Pressing hair, ironing ribbons, white shoes, and Soul Train. What are you doing outside of the walls? Vacant. How dare you, Black woman? INVITED TO THE COOKOUT. A list of just accusations. Think about it overnight and remain silent. The record needs no correction. I'm over you. A quality pre-owned Mazda. Plus, Tara wins. Fine. There. I said it. Happy? 

Don't let the change clink. Autism is not the devil. Rafik. I'm not embarrassed, I'm grown. A low-key pimp. Obviously I'm the whatever guy. Literal, scary demon-demons. This doesn't resonate with me. The built-in, circular, brilliant logic. HBO after dark. My therapist sure calls it trauma. The marketing was pretty effective actually. Tara wrestled with a demon twice. And the word you're referring to is...? Plus, Jonathan sleeps with a light on most of the time. 

Fine, how are you? Sweet message, delayed response. This MFer's about to lose his sneakers. Boils/boils. Psalms of lament. Openly and with bias. One day that baby will be old. How does Hooper do it? A new segment. What are you doing to these cats? Insufferable millennial dog worship. Plus, complaining is my good news.

Six feet above. If I go on the other side of this microphone, do I die? How much she meant this was clear. JO(NAS) BRO(THER)S ON THE SHOW. Antidepressant irony. A whole new meaning to “God is my co-pilot.” You can't call it Donkey Voice. Brian confirms that the train is not an issue. Oops, I have to fix my rules. What is hell? My bad about the genocide. Relief in not believing. Kanye clearance. Plus, Satan's just walking around. 

No UTIs for the Williams boys. The ridges help you know where to slice. Jared went viral on LinkedIn. Booster seat hotdog impression sticker. Time to speak in tongues, Tara. A Timothy Award-winning marriage. Black and white movie night goes too far. SIXTEE(n eighty-)NINE. The holler. Plus, are drums evil? 

Why did you look at me with affection? No adjectives. Don't go to dinner with your family. Mission trip sorority girl selfies. Jonathan seeks. A cemetery for elephants. I've never been like, “I should work here.” What's cocaine, mommy? A new chunk on the devil. Miller Lite christening. Maketh or goeth? Tar(r)a and the FBI. King James is sneaky. The best day of Tara's life. Plus, Tara cuts Jonathan off hard when all he was trying to do was say that he had been to Andrew's grandfather's church a few times. 

It's more fun in front of company. You don't have a bad side. brotherrog@aol. Grow up, Church. Did he just diminish me? At home with my altar. God is in the food. I think to myself, “Get laid.” Not a Swedish family. Theological terrorism. No sexual ethic. I don't must so. Neither cup-bearer nor eunuch. I'll take an asterisk. Fool for a client, right here! Cockapoo times two. Plus, a youth conference keynote deflowering. 

Kennedy was busting on me. We don't care that you don't care. Where dreams are made of. What you're doing now is a great example. It's okay, the guy's dead now. No thanks, White Jesus. Plus, Tara thinks “That's what she said” is still funny.  

We are in the studio. Conqueror of worlds. How is that a virtue? A beautiful human. I taught them not to like me. Can you tell if he's blushing? State of the Black Union. You know white folks won't won't let you ride no bicycle uptown. If you can't affect laws, then you ain't white. Plus, pegging. 

In retrospect, the kids come off looking pretty foolish in this one.

Karaoke panic attack. Tara has never watched a cartoon. Conditional watermelon permission. Tubman status. Are there no more lawyers? Another girl book. Tara, did you come prepared? Thee and thy 50. Plus, Yahweh-sanctioned slaughter. 

Tara makes noise. 43 seconds. We had a fight. Thursdays in Julanulary. Good witchu. Pocketbook Redux. Jonathan is sweating bullets. What's a chill Middle Eastern country? We're not back. Brian's a pro. We're basically just back. It does feel awkward, right? We're back. The miracle is neither did I. Plus, old people graduate.

Nightlight. Demons have a crush on Jonathan.  $jwilliamscomedy. Tara has no idea. All about the pocketbook. You gotta look at the keyboard. Married/murdered. RELIGIOUS*. Seventeen percenters. Tithe or don't come back. Tara's Black church sings a lot. Plus, how to yell at a kid. 

I didn't know this was The Handmaid's Tale. Forget evergreen. Full justice. Tara doesn't want to have to educate you. We're always counting. Tara and Jonathan talk about why Jonathan is awesome. A plate for you that's on the stove. We gotta tag y'all in. I am pregnant. Plus, Tara has one last question.

Part 2 with comedian Jeremy Alder; Tara happy-splains wonderful days.  What is money for? Dad, you were really funny, but... A poor substitute for justice. Stop putting raisins in the potato salad. David sucked at smooth jazz. Plus, the origins of the William's brothers' names.

Jonathan fails to mention that Jeremy is a comedian. Christian math is different. Allow my doubt to breathe. Denim week at Disney. Biotheosophology. The lapdog of empire. White churches are bad at divorce. Plus, Tara has never interrupted Jonathan.

High priest guest host. Second-most popular religion. I get nothing from you, Shawn. Sword and sword, chalice and chalice. Mirth and reverence. Back of beyond. Shawn suggests marriage counseling. Cast a magic circle. Jonathan did not mean to disparage the cauldron. Shawn gets a giant pole and sticks it into Mother Earth. You have no idea. Bear fat. Plus, Jonathan can't think of a thing that happened in England. 

A preacher in trouble, and 'Lil Nas X shoes go a step too far. It bears mentioning that this was recorded before Nas' most recent controversy.

Tara and Jonathan reach a milestone tenth episode. They don't talk about it. They probably didn't notice. 

Tara's phone and email are important. Time portal casino. Nameless Name offers  non-addictive heroin to Tara. The hallmark of a great segue. Choose yourself. Jonathan doesn't care for Jason. A joke or a parable? Gold loaves yule. Brian's brilliant ad break edit. What Jonathan intends for evil, Tara uses for good. Plus, Tara is Jewish again.

Tara is a sunbeam. Jonathan's doing mighty fine. The whereabouts of Tara's birth certificate. Dope shoes on a dead pope. Dolly is the GOAT, Dolly is the get. Fruit is legal. Internal and eternal. Is Lecrae good? Pharmacy flex. A trivia ego is born. Plus, Jonathan and Tara will see each other in hell. 

Don't tell Tara you're Christian. Baseball isn't tennis. Jonathan's almost perfect feeling. Tara thinks prayer belongs in movie theaters. A questionable comparison. Plus, Jonathan reveals how many times he's had sepsis.

The name of the show is established. Tara didn't kill Jonathan's brothers. Kevin Garnett or Prince. The city sours. Plus, Jonathan apologizes to Brooklyn.

The cookout negotiations continue. Tara was a brat. Jonathan swings for the fences. Sticks and Snakes. Plus, is OMG a bad word?

Jonathan and Tara discuss how the COVID pandemic has affected church services and how churches have adapted to serve congregations that are unable to attend in-person masses and services.  PLUS- Bible Trivia!

Jonathan tries to get invited to the barbecue. Tara has an anger problem. Jonathan sings. Tara asks for free surgery. Plus, Tara and Jonathan plan the next episode.

Jonathan reveals what makes him happiest in life. Tara admits she stole something. Bible trivia is a blowout. Which are harder, God's tests or end-of-grade tests?

Tara talks about an experience at a church where she felt less than welcome; and just how much do she and Jonathan remember about the Bible?