The Nonsense Burger

Heyo!  Today's episode features the dynamic duo of Michael and Francis.  The two tango through Francis's NFL gameday experience between the Lions and Bears, Michael building what is arguably the most impressive parade float ever assembled, and we rip on Timmy for conveniently not showing up to another show.  Pop in and have yourselves a laugh with the gang and their nonsensical Burgers!  Love you.

Greetings, Folks!  I'd say that today's episode got weird, but then again, which ones don't?  We start with religion.  Relax.  It's not what you think.  From there it takes a bend to an oft-forgotten Nicholas Cage movie (hence the title) and winds around the block.  Join in on the laughter with Michael, Oko, and Francis.  And, as always, we love you.

Heyo!  The Burger is a little late to 2024 but we're here nonetheless!  Today, Oko, Michael, and Francis catch up the only way they know how; with a heaping plate of complete and utter Nonsense.  As luck would have it, Harry Carey and Bill Cosby stop by to intro the show, and then it gets nuttier.  We talk Creed singing Christmas tunes, the ingenuity of Michael Keaton, an evil Frosty the Snowman, and so much more!  Glad to be back and boy do we love all you Fine Folks!

Bangers n' Mash!  We're back after another inexplicable hiatus, Folks!  We had to celebrate the return of Timmy with that much more Nonsense packed into the show.  We've all adopted new aliases which may make sense at a later date.  For now, you'll receive a steady diet of game show theories, old CD changers crammed in your trunk, sleazy "restaurants" packed with sleazy clientele, and a bright new idea from the gang deadset on building a plethora of silly stores within one giant store!  Oh, and we may have come up with a golden (see what we did there?) idea for another Willy Wonka sequel.  Welcome back!  Love you. 

Mahalo, Folks!  Welcome back to the Burger, where tonight you've got Francis, Oko, and Michael all over the board!  Oko explains what a "hug from the hip" gets you.  Francis has more odd airport encounters.  We explore a newly-coined phrase known as a "bed friend".  Spiders are still scary.  The unnecessary energy of Agro business convention presenters.  All of this while Michael wonders why he's friends with these two.  Put your swimmies on....we're jumping into the deep end for today's show.  Love you!

Wowsers!  We're back again, Folks!  And we're just in time for the holiday that everyone takes too far.  Halloween is great for justifying how much candy we cram into our gullets and that's about it.  Aside from that, tune in to listen to Michael, Oko, and Francis talk about the mystery that is excessive pee dribble!  Not your thing?  Not a problem!  We also tackle elaborate holiday lawn decorations, leaving appliances on when you've already left the house, and Oko's new obsessions with wanting to look exactly like Mr. Clean!  It's always a house of mirrors at the Burger.  Step right up and let's enjoy the carnival ride together!  Love you all.

Wow!  Talk about a magic show!  Today's episode is all over the board, Folks.  Francis, Oko, and Michael play a sick game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey and I don't think they hit the target once.  Or do they?  Why is there still hype around the Harry Potter movies?  How do we get access to all the wonderful sabotage Chris Hanson was involved in from 'To Catch a Predator?'  Oko wants to drive an ice cream truck around when he retires.  Ikea meatballs are supposedly really good?  Is a kitchen sponge or garbage disposal smell worse?  Do you churn your ice cream?  And finally....downing Hershey's chocolate syrup straight from the bottle.  Best get your buns in here and listen to another rambunctious Burger show!  Love you.

Heyo!  Michael and Francis are back and unloading their chaotic brainpower on all of you Fine Folks!  We go from lovely morning walks to picking our fingernails to meditating to forgetting items on a grocery list to peeing in public.  See what we mean?  It's absolutely bonkers!  Pop into today's episode and enjoy a little scattershot from these two hooligans.  Explain, we shall.  Love you.

Greetings, Friends!  We're bombarding you with a neat little episode tonight hosted by Francis and Michael.  Francis crawled his way out of the deep, dark labyrinth that is customer service call centers.  It's OK.  He survived and he's here to tell you his tale.  If that wasn't enough, he also just got through a gauntlet of family vacations and still, he lives to tell you of his adventures.  Michael apparently has a technically difficult case of the quiet mic tonight but he's tossing his sprinkles of goodness on top of this tasty twisty ice cream cone, regardless.  Saddle up!  We're about to slap some cream on those berries.  Here we go!  Love you.

Wowsers!  We've got a cooker for all you Fine Folks, today!  Francis and Oko trade a pair of diabolical stories you have to hear to believe.  Francis has a run-in with two people wearing fedoras that also own two pet turtles.  Keep going?  You bet.  Oko follows that up nicely with a "shitty" mishap while getting his car serviced at a dealership.  Let's just say he'll be washing his hands every five minutes for the next year or so.  Buckle up beauties!  This one is a flat-out doozy.  Love you.

Heyo!  The title should say it all, Folks.  We burst through the door talking about those juicy little whiteheads hiding on your ham hocks.  Not to be outdone, a story about a mysterious oozing mark on the back.  What?  Moving on.  Today you have Francis and Michael sifting through an entertaining list of office nicknames!  It's always silly with the Nonsense Burger, so bring 'er on in here!  We love you.

The Boys are back in town, ladies and gentlemen!  In today's episode, Francis gives Timmy the rundown on a three-concert bender he recently experienced.  Country, bluegrass, and rock.  The music was thumping and the people-watching was superb.  Then, Timmy had to counter with an unexpected box seat show to see the one and only Michael Buble!  Hope you brought some corn for poppin' (queue lame Christmas music joke).  Jump on in and listen while we take you from the nosebleeds down to the front of the stage.  Don't forget your hula hoop and enough cash for those $20 beers!  Let's turn the dial up to 11.  Love you!

Greetings, Folks!  Hope you have your toolbelt handy for today's episode because we're in need of someone who knows their way around a project.  Timmy and Francis stumble their way through one procrastinating DIY project after another and believe they've learned a valuable lesson along the way:  pay someone who knows what they're doing.  Closet fixes, sanding nightmares, electrocution, and plumbing.  Saddle up for a real-life Tool Time experience as the fellas aim to make you feel better about your own handyman skills.  Love you!

Alrighty!  Today, you get a healthy dose of Michael and Francis to help you wash down all the Nonsense.  Francis may have stumbled upon the most magical tavern since Cheers, and boy oh boy it didn't disappoint.  Unique taglines, psychic bartenders, smoking, and shenanigans.  Saddle up your earbuds and relive an experience almost as mysterious as Fantasia.  Dancing brooms were not involved but I wouldn't have been surprised if they showed up at this bar with all the other free-wheelin' patrons we shared beers with.  Cheers to the Anchor Inn and cheers to you all!  Love you.

Heyo!  Michael joins the intro for a quick joke and then Timmy and Francis go bonkers.  The pair dive right into the proper mechanics whilst group grocery shopping and how glorious an early morning or late night solo shop is preferred.  From there, we shed a little light on the secrets to making family vacations a bit more bearable.  Lastly, the two discuss their puzzlement with....well....puzzles.  Why?  You're about to find out when you dive into this gem.  Enjoy!  Love you lots.

Merry Friday, Folks!  Timmy and Francis are guiding you into your weekend with a little Side of Fries!  This is a bit of bonus material from our Cookie Dad episode where Timmy explains to us the dark side of the "Head Cookie Mom" and how these damn cookies could have been a front for something much more sinister.  Just pullin' your leg!  We just get a little goofy with something we all love and adore....cookies.  Love you!

Greetings, Folks!  Would you like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies?  Not when the kid's parents are crawling up your ass questioning your morals and reasoning for saying 'no' to such a "sweet" little kid.  Screw that.  Today the gang debates all questionable tactics rolled out just to pile up a solid sales track record....all for some mediocre cookies.  Choose one name for your cookies.   Choose to give more of the proceeds back to the girls.  Choose to listen to The Burger.  Sew another patch onto our sash or silliness!!  Love you all.

Holy Mary Mother of God, we did it!  Episode 100 has officially hit the shelves and we couldn't think of a more opportune time to bring back Earl Sherman!  That's right, folks.  Earl's back with Francis and their conversation sounds like two immature kids sharing stories in a tree fort.  Not only that, but we managed to rope in Francis's sister and Earl's wife:  Renee Sherman!  We talk about swapping anatomy, Chuck E Cheese, naked parents, and Shoe Carnival.  It's been quite a drawn-out three years but we're glad you're still with us and we're happy as hell to see the 100th show come to life!  Here's to another 100 in less than a decade!  Woohoo!  We love you little gophers.

Happy Holidays, Folks!  No, they're not over until we say they're over.  We here at the Burger love to drag out the festivities and what better way than to pump out a jolly old episode?!  Francis, Michael, and Oko spend the first thirty minutes talking goofier than the Goof Troop and then Francis gets into a very wild story involving his annual Christmas tree-cutting extravaganza.  So, won't you join us for one last lovable ride from the sleigh of silliness straight down your chimney and into your ears?  Happy New Year and here's to more giggles in 2023!  Love you all.  

Well, we just woke up from hibernation, folks!  Just in time for winter.  Welcome back to The Burger and welcome back to some good old-fashioned hilarity.  In yet another "comeback" episode we're treated with a theme of love.  Francis, Timmy, and Michael dive into the trainwreck that is the network television show 'Love Is Blind'.  From there the trio rolls into Michael's most recent experiences of dipping his toes back into the dating pool via dating apps.  Wowsers!  This one's packed with all the giggles your heart can handle.  Let's get back to having some fun!  Love you.

Back-to-back weeks, Folks!  Francis, Michael, and Oko get downright dirty in today's episode.  Francis recounts some fabulous tales while riding on America's open roads in an Uber all while realizing how many nut jobs there truly are out there.  Oko takes it up a notch with a "you've got to hear it to believe" story involving a female towtruck driver.  The wheels on this bus of Nonsense are going round and round all the live long day for you lovely people.  Let's have some fun!  Love you. 

Annnnd we're BACK, Folks!  We're just over here looking to break records for the longest stint between the 99th and 100th episodes.  Today Francis, Timmy, and Michael spin up some fun adventures of Indiana Bones!  After that, it's a smattering of what it's like to live in a tourist town, the excitement of Lent, Steak and BJ Day, and other meaningless holidays; all while we wonder if we'll ever learn how to drink responsibly.  It feels good to be flippin' these Burgers again!  Let's have a ball together!  Love you.

Whoo!  The gang is marking their calendars for a renaissance festival!  None of us have been but by golly do we have some great ideas for when we get there.  Staying silly as ever.  Grab a turkey leg and let's start jousting.  Love you.

Hey there strangers!  We're swooping in with our 97th episode dating all the way back to stories surrounding the Super Bowl.  Yes, it happened months ago but it's been about that long since our last episode went out.  Fear not!  Timmy fills us in on his experience as the Bengals' mascot which of course leads to the rest of the gang wondering what it would be like to make love in one of those suits.  Are you ready to rumble?  We sure are!  Welcome back.  Love you.

Happy Birthday to us!  The Burger just turned two years old, Folks!  To celebrate, Timmy and Francis sit down to chat about cologne and the douche canoes that put too much on.  Cool Water, anyone?  We also talk about other pleasant smells with an episode wrap all about more poor decisions on motorized toys.  Let's all celebrate together!  Love you.

Wow!  We're back and we almost cover all the nouns in today's episode title.  Francis and Timmy rip through braided belts, chain wallets, DC shoes, fanny packs, and the makings of another t-shirt idea that may or may not ever come to fruition.  Glad to be flipping some more Nonsense on the grill.  Here we go.  Love you.

You've gotta love your parents if for no other reason than the facts Timmy and Francis layout in today's Side of Fries.  Obsessing over raking leaves, snow blowing, struggling with phone conversations, and unnecessary trips to the hardware store.  We're slowly losing a lost art, Folks!  Let's enjoy the beautiful people that raised us right....for the most part.  Here's to the moms and dads providing us with endless amounts of entertainment.  Get in here.  Love you.

Hola, mis amigos!  We're back with another rip-roaring doozy of a fun time!  Francis entertains Timmy with tales from a friend's bachelor party down on the Baja California Peninsula of Mexico.  Adventures that range from semi-professional women volleyball players whipping their asses, eating live bait on a deep-sea fishing excursion, and carnivals in the middle of nowhere.  Also known as the right way to visit our neighbors to the south.  Timmy then wheels around and complains about the very commercialized side of a Mexican vacation.  All you can drink with people you learn to hate?  Hard pass.  We also craft into existence The Blubbery V.  Gotta listen to understand.  Let's go!  Love you.

Two for one!  Welcome to a nuthouse Friday, Folks!  Today's Fries include Timmy and Francis darting all over the board.  We talk about Captain Planet being the most useless superhero, Snapple cap writers, and why on earth people would ever want to leave the beach with a full cooler present.  Come have some fun.  Love you.

Merry Friday, Folks!  Don't worry.  The title might contain a naughty word but we hardly speak of it.  Instead, Michael, Oko, and Francis pull off the Burger's second unedited episode.  It's chock full of goodies.  Disappointing your kids with toots, diaper stories, sexual healing, and Travis Pastrami.  No clue?  No worries.  Get in here.

And we're back!  Now, what better way is there to talk about all the glories of the holiday gauntlet than by discussing them immediately after they've happened?!  That's right, today Timmy and Francis pick apart all of those "fun" family experiences during the most wonderful time of the year.  We do you Folks one better though:  how can you dodge some of the menial tasks bestowed upon you when those holidays come along?  We'll tell ya.  From curiously long deep-frying sessions to using the opportunities presented to you which allow you to avoid family altogether!  We know the cheerful turning over of another calendar just happened but why not reminisce on some of the fun we had kicking 2021 to the curb!  Oh, and you've GOT to tune in to find out what a Turkey Tug is....Love you.

Happy post-holiday Friday!  Tossin' a quick Side of Fries at ya today with Timmy and Francis kickstarting a conversation highlighting all the fun experiences we might have during the holiday gauntlet.  From Halloween straight on through to the New Year, we've got some goofy observations for you.  Today we start our stories right before Thanksgiving with the next few episodes plowing through the rest of the celebration.  Classic movie re-runs, dive bars in the middle of nowhere, and a tasteless joke to get it all rolling!  Welcome to 2022.  Welcome BACK to the Burger.  Love you!

Hey there, Folks!  Here's to wishing you all a happy and healthy New Year along with the gang's 91st episode of silly, sloppy Nonsense!  Today's episode wraps our three-part series on our "love" for all things corporate.  Timmy, Michael, and Francis harp on the virtual meeting phenomenon which crescendos with an impromptu nude stroll across the screen during a meeting.  Yikes.  It's been another fun-filled year and we hope to keep pumping out one hit after another for all you delightful little hooligans.  Rip through this show and then go enjoy watching the ball drop....on your chin.  Love you!

Greetings all you Fine Folks!  We're back yet again for what we're dubbing our second installment to corporate America's most obnoxious activities!  Last week was the PowerPoint; this week we're tackling another one of our worst nightmares:  the meeting.  Settle in or saddle up with Francis, Michael, and Timmy as they harp on work meetings.  Pre-meetings, post-meetings, rescheduled meetings!  It's all a hoot any way ya slice it!  Let's go.  Love you.

Hey Kids!  Let's go ahead and call this Part One of a three-part series on office shenanigans.  Today's episode features one of life's silly creations that has given us all less purpose on this planet:  PowerPoint.  What a damn useless tool.  Care to question your existence or why Ned felt the need to put all that mumbo jumbo on 35 separate slides?  We HATE PowerPoint and we know you do, too.  Let's make fun of it together!  Love you.

Mahalo, Folks!  So sorry for the delayed delivery of our newest episode.  Francis was struggling through a kitchen remodel (not really noteworthy) but more importantly, Oko became a father for the first time (he thinks)!  Congrats to our long-standing co-host and a dear friend.  He's denied trying breast milk straight from the tap but we all know he went under the blanket.  Today you've got Michael and Francis ripping through a Friday Side of Fries discussing mildly hot food, personal reactions to stupid people, substituting the word 'right' from our vocabulary, and riding penny ponies at the grocery store!  Wooee!  Welcome back.  We love you little dried-up boogers under the passenger seat of the car where your wife leaves her picked victims....

Hey-O!  Instead of wondering how all those animal pairs got onto one boat, we inquired as to what it might be like having some of our favorite animals' capabilities.  Birds; ever wonder what it'd be like to fly or crap on someone from the sky?  Would your life change if you could lick your own twig n' berries?  Whale sex?  Yes, we discuss it.  Dr. Dolittle's got nothing on this conversation.  Let's go!  Love you.

Hey-O!  Welcome to Friday and welcome to the Burger's first "live" episode!  That's right, folks!  There was no editing, no polishing, no removal of content; we just hit record and let Fantasia's brooms DANCE!  Michael, Timmy, and Francis got kooky talking about what it might be like to have a life-sponsored DJ.  Get on in here to experience the joys of laughter.  Love you!

Lace-up those golf shoes....hit the driving range....square up with the cart girl....promise yourself you won't shoot as bad as you did the round before and let's have some fun with a big 'ol beefy episode about all the goofy-ass shit surrounding the layman's golf experience!  Timmy and Francis play a full 18 holes in today's show breaking down the pains of getting paired up with a single-player, drinking and driving (golf carts), acceptably peeing in public, great golf shots, terrible golf shoots....it's a downright side-splitting classic!  Line up your putt and let's pencil in that double bogey to make it official!  Love you.

Here we go, Folks!  Today you've got all four fellas for the show, albeit Timmy's signature late arrival.  We start things off bitching about our dogs which leads to an odd sighting from Francis at a local wedding:  Beverage burros.  Donkeys with beers strapped to their backs.  From there we wind down a road of wonderment involving the concept of other animals serving themselves as wedding food....pigs in a blanket, anyone?  We also tackle an interesting scenario from Oko involving famous people as wedding guests.  We'll take Michael J. every time.  Let's go laugh!  Love you.

Mahalo, Folks!  Michael, Oko, and Francis are here this week to have a little fun with the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon.  Who knew of all the possible connections?  We sure didn't.  It gets weird; it gets kooky; it gets downright bananas.  Stop in for a quick show and a quick laugh.  Love you.

Love a good old-fashioned short work week!  The Burger is back with a little bit larger of a Side of Fries than usual, but the gang gets wrapped up in talking about one of their comedic icons:  Chris Farley.  Tune in and relive some of his better-known characters as we giggle our way into the weekend.  Love you!

Welcome back, Folks!  So good to see you!  Today's gang of three is rife with stories that are bound to get those soft giggles crescendoing to an all-out uproar of uncontrollable laughter!  Our journey begins with your hosts shamefully admitting to having trouble controlling the amount of alcohol they consume once they hit their "sweet spot".  From there we careen downhill whilst discussing our intentions to get lucky with our wives who have entirely different ideas.  The episode hits its finale when the boys recall stories that include both booze and romps in the hay.  Horses eat it (hay, that is) but we want to serve you a heaping helping of NONSENSE.  Let's dig in!  Love you.

How and why is the Fast and the Furious cinematic adventure still in existence?  The gang gets all worked up mulling over the infuriating possibilities of our generation's biggest disappointment.  Spoiler alert:  we hate those movies, but we love all you Fine Folks!  Get on in here!

Better late than never, Folks!  Michael, Timmy, and Francis talk about diets (why?) and almost immediately shift their attention back to the Burger's favorite topic of discussion:  Michael J. Fox.  She's a short one but always a delight.  Consume a few burgers of nonsense over the weekend and keep having a ball with us!  Love you.

And we're back!  God, what a slack-ass I am!  Prepare yourselves for the resurgence of the Burger and for one big old killer episode today!  We are SLAMMING you with infomercial reviews and it's one gut-buster after another.  Did someone say Flexseal??  Get in here my little beauties!!  Let's party.  Love you.

Afternoon, Folks!  We're tossin' a spiritual Sunday Side of Fries at ya today!  Actually, today's episode might make the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost all blush.   Timmy recalls a story from a Florida spring break that involves drinking beers that have flowed betwixt another man's butt cheeks.  You've got to listen to believe, so get on in here!  Enjoy yet another little taste of the Burger with this week's Side of Fries and properly prep yourselves for another work week!  Adore you.

Evening Folks!  Apologies for the brief hiatus.  The gang is back in full force with the show's 80th episode!  Unfortunate circumstances force us to experience Oko's murder laugh, the creation of a game show we're calling "Oh, You'll Get It', when we'll use a public restroom and when we won't, along with an earth-shattering question on how you'd prefer to die by ice cream.  We also put our collective heads together and solved a riddle without the use of Google!  Victory.  Come celebrate with us.  We adore you.

Hey there, Folks!  We're back and careening down the runway!  Today's episode features the whole gang of silly gooses and a plethora of Nonsense.  Oko rails on purchasing furniture for a new home and the rest of the boys pile on.  From there we get into more DIY projects and why we fail at most of them.  To wrap things up we get flat out kooky talking about memory loss (is it selective?) and how bad at listening we all are.  It's hot!  We're back!  And the Nonsense is piled high.  Get on in here!  Cherish you.