Trauma To Triumph

I am thrilled to introduce you to my trauma brother, Dr. Juan Rios Jr. We are going to talk about some of the work he’s doing, what he’s learned about working with high-level athletes and people of color, what unhealthy attachment is, and more. This episode is guaranteed to inspire you and give you some everyday tools. Dr. Rios starts off by telling us about the workplace that he has built, explaining that it’s a collaborative space where therapists work with him, not for him. The team is very diverse and represents almost every aspect of culture, socio-economic experience, modality, and more. There are conscience, micro decisions that we have to make to move towards change. Dr. Rios asserts that when there is one injustice happening, we must act as if it is injustice for all. He says that we can tear down social constructs without creating false narratives, and I add in how I feel that this affects Asian-Americans. A conversation begins about masculinity, with Dr. Rios talking about a type of personal work that men have to do which women can’t do for them. We hear about the language that he believes men need to create and become comfortable in. He states that if truly being a man means being “strong,” men should be strong enough to use loving words. I ask Dr. Rios what one thing is that he wishes people would do to change the trajectory that we live in. He responds that the obvious answer is therapy and provides his insight on why it is so beneficial. Rios Therapeutic Solutions: https://www.riostherapeuticsolutions.com/ Dr. Rios on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juan.riosjr/ Dr. Rios’ Email: juan.riosjr@gmail.com  

It’s time to pick up your slice of humble pie and buckle up to listen to Lee Kemp, multi-award winning national wrestling legend, talk with me about the challenges and thrills he’s faced during his decade-spanning career. An overarching theme of our conversation today is on the subject of humility, especially why this is such an important trait to have as an athlete. We touch on Lee’s incredible past and what some other vital traits athletes should have in order to succeed. A little known fact about Lee Kemp is that he actually didn’t like wrestling when he first joined his high school wrestling team. Struggling with disappointment over not making the basketball team, Lee joined the wrestling team as a freshman, two years after most kids start learning the sport. But when he started winning matches almost immediately, his feelings towards wrestling changed from indifference to love. In this episode, Lee and I talk about disappointment and why it will probably still live with you even decades after the event. It’s okay to still feel that disappointment, but it’s not okay to have it dictate your life. Lee has used his Olympic disappointment to help him coach athletes and make a difference in their lives. We also look at the baggage we all carry around. We all usually attribute baggage to negative life experiences, but that’s not always the baggage we have. Sometimes, our baggage is our positive life experiences that we’re not living anymore. But a big theme in this episode is humility. Learning to be humble is one of the most important things you can do in life. Humility will positively impact your life at all points: your professional career, in sports, and your personal interactions. How do you stay humble? Have you suffered a huge disappointment? Do you make a point to celebrate other people’s success? Let me know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode: How to deal with massive disappointment and loss, even decades after it happened Why you can often get more satisfaction watching someone else’s success How baggage can be more than just negative past experiences Why it’s so important to stay humble for both your career and personal life Why you need to have a sense of arrogance in sports, especially wrestling How to handle abrupt changes in your life   Quotes: “Just keep it moving forward instead of looking back. Because, for some people, that’s all they have [an accomplishment] from 20-30 years ago.” (18:14) “If you don’t pay your rent today, you’re out. Doesn’t matter what you did yesterday, the rent’s due every day. And if you’re not prepared to go to work tomorrow, you’re not gonna have the success. And life is that way. You’ve gotta put that effort into everyday living. You have to put it into relationships.” (20:53) “Anyone can be beaten, even you.” (30:06) “Take the focus off of yourself and try to help other people.” (42:04)   Links Find Lee Kemp Online Follow Lee Kemp on Facebook | Instagram | Twitter Watch Wrestled Away: The Lee Kemp Story   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 018: How To Turn Tragedy Into Fuel For Living Your Best Life w/ Steve Datte 005: Why You NEED To Learn How To Set & Enforce Strict Boundaries w/ Kyree Oliver 002: What It Looks Like To Keep Fighting When Times Get Tough w/ Sifu Alex Richter   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Whether you’ve planned to have kids or not, finding yourself a single parent is not something you set out for with intent. Being a single parent is hard work. And trying to co-parent with your ex can be an even bigger struggle. As a single parent, you’re going to struggle with feelings of shame, guilt, and pain - and the most likely source of these feelings is you. Single parenthood is a struggle that no one’s going to prepare you for and your relationship with your ex is going to be different from anyone else’s relationship with theirs. Co-parenting with your ex isn’t always going to be easy. And having an amicable relationship with your ex isn’t a one person decision. The moment you split, there are two different attitudes to parenting, two different lives, and two different opinions that will all have to be taken into account. In this solo episode, I’m talking about my personal experiences into the crazy hard world of single parenting. I tell you how I knew that my ex wasn’t “the one” and how I wish so much that we had a friendship to fall back to. I’m explaining why it’s so important to get validation from yourself and no one else. Why the other parent to your children is going to fall into their own unique ex category - and how that’s going to impact you for the rest of your life. Perhaps most importantly, I’m talking about forgiveness: why you need to forgive yourself, your ex, and all the other people that will have an opinion on your broken relationship. When my son gave his mother’s day project to his dad’s new partner instead of me, I thought my heart was going to fall out of my chest it was so broken. But thanks to my own dad’s tough attitude, I learned that it’s okay for your children to love other people in their lives. You can’t waste time sitting in shit for a long time - there always comes a point where you just have to move forward. Are you going through a divorce? Do you have children with your ex? How do you talk to your children about love and forgiveness? Leave me a comment on the episode page!   In This Episode: Why it’s so important to be friends with someone you’re going to date What you need to understand about your own self-validation What the different kind of breakups are and how will impact your life going forward Why you need to accept that you will have different parenting styles than your ex How to parent with intention Why you should consider therapy as you go through a divorce How important it is to have good friends when going through separation Why it’s so incredibly important to practice forgiveness Quotes: “Even if you want to be Ned Stark from Game of Thrones, doing the right thing for the right reasons and die with honor - an amicable relationship as a single parent isn’t really a one person decision. It takes two.” (4:35) “My only job in our interaction at this point was to demonstrate and role model parental behavior. Outside of that, friends or not, I’ve done my job.” (6:27) “Becoming a single parent, you’re redefining everything. You’re redefining who you are as a person, as a parent and what life looks like in the aftermath.” (11:24) “Allow people to show as much healthy love to your kids as possible. No matter how much they get on your nerves. And make sure your kids know it’s okay to love them back.” (15:30)   Links Find my website at KimBao.co   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 018: How To Turn Tragedy Into Fuel For Living Your Best Life w/ Steve Datte 016: How To Build A Stronger You By Working Through Your Trauma w/ Kim Bao 015: The Trauma Of Divorce From The Male Perspective w/ Mike Kim   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

There are some events in life that change you dramatically. The thing you need to remember, though, is how that change will impact you in the long term. My guest today, Steve Datte, is a coach, mentor, and all around wonderful guy who lost his brother to suicide many years ago. Steve took the most pragmatic approach to this great loss and, instead of letting his brother’s death keep him from enjoying his life, he looked ahead. By picturing himself surviving and even happy 10, 20, 30 years down the road, he knew that the pain he was feeling was only temporary. Steve is one of the most inspiring men I know, and his inspiration reaches through his family, into his fitness center, to his private clients, and beyond. Today on the show, we’re talking about the loss that rocked Steve’s life and how he didn’t let it draw him down into depression. How taking a balanced approach to suicide helped shape the man he is today. Steve practices picturing life as a game and lives by the thought that we’re all just children in adult bodies. By holding onto that mantra, Steve looks at life through the eyes of a child, embracing the positive and celebrating the good. This has helped him be a better husband, father, coach, and manager. He believes that it’s never too late to reprogram your life to change the aspects that get you down, and roleplaying is a big part of this! Have you been affected by suicide? Do you know how to recognize when you’ve had enough of something? How do you prioritize play in your daily life? Leave me a comment on the episode page!   In This Episode Why you need to find a job that you’re passionate about What the “10/20/30 years from now” theory is How to look at suicide pragmatically What happens when you start to picture life as a game What you can do to be a better manager Why you can always reprogram your life to make it more positive How roleplaying can help you work through difficult issues in your life Why it’s important to recognize when you’re done with something   Quotes “Ten years from now, what’s this gonna be for me? Will I still be as upset as I am today? And I don’t know many things that 10 years down the road you’re gonna be as upset as in the moment, and if you can get your head there, you can get through just about anything.” (16:35) “There’s just a point where you’ve gotta let go of the guilt and the angst of what could you have done and where should you have been.” (20:34) “We get so caught up in what we do versus who we are.” (45:03) “It’s okay to quit so long as you leave, just don’t quit and stay.” (49:30) “I’ve had very few people choose to quit anything when they’re succeeding and they have work/life balance. Usually, when someone leaves, they’re either not succeeding or its impacting their life so much that it’s not worth it.” (57:50) Links Find Steve Datte fitness club, Life Time Athletic on Facebook   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 016: How To Build A Stronger You By Working Through Your Trauma w/ Kim Bao 011: How To Allow Your Passions To Dictate Your Future w/ Wynona Karbo 008: Overcoming Physical & Mental Stressors Through Cryotherapy w/ Joel Cruzada   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

If you find that you’re dragging yourself through the day with absolutely zero energy, you’re not alone. An alarming amount of people have a severe lack of energy - and I used to be one of them. Can you believe that I actually used to fall asleep in school? Like, head in textbook, passed out? When we’re children, having energy is just something that comes naturally. But as we get older, from teenage years and up, hormonal changes can cause our bodies to just be huge energy sucking machines. But it is possible to rebuild our energy reserves. Today on the show, I’m talking about my own personal journey from having literally no energy to having so much, it’s pretty much a never-ending flow. I’m giving you my top ten list of ways to naturally increase your energy and letting you know why it’s so vital to prioritize energy in your life. The biggest and, perhaps most important, factor to rebuilding your energy levels is to find and practice something that brings you joy. I’m not talking about buying a new pair of shoes and feeling happy at that - I mean something that sets your soul on fire and brings you purpose. Then I’m going through the rest of my list: getting enough sleep, exercising every day, playing and having fun, eating well, and practicing meditation. These are all pretty straightforward, easy to implement steps, but the fact is that so many people don’t do them! That’s why I’m talking about them today. Do you keep a daily journal? Do you build rest and recovery time into your life? How do you prioritize self-care and meditation?   In This Episode: How to be calmer What energy is, exactly How to guard and lift your energy and why you need to How to create joy internally How helping people can drain your energy Why you need to learn how to say no and hold yourself accountable How energy can help rebuild your energy levels Why proper nutrition is essential to building your energy levels Why you should practice gratitude every single day   Quotes: “Harnessing good energy is following what brings you joy.” (5:08) “Understanding the importance of play and learning to build it into your daily life is a huge game changer.” (6:36) “Journaling is critical to having an objective understanding of what it is we’re working on and what’s working and isn’t working.” (14:27)   Links Find my website at KimBao.co Check out the full episode post here   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 016: How To Build A Stronger You By Working Through Your Trauma w/ Kim Bao 014: How To Break Up With Social Media w/ Kim Bao 011: How To Allow Your Passions To Dictate Your Future w/ Wynona Karbo

It was seeing my therapist once a week for an entire year that made me realize that trauma and traumatic experiences are more common than I thought. Trauma to Triumph is about showcasing inspiring people who have gone through something incredibly traumatic but have come out on top. Today is another solo episode with me, Kim Bao, to talk about what living and dealing with unacknowledged trauma is. Trauma is a psychological and emotional response to an event that is deeply disturbing and it’s a response that’s perfectly normal. However, there are times when our bodies don’t accept what has happened to us or even try to completely block it out. This means that there are some pretty bad things that have happened to us that we might have no idea about. And that’s what unacknowledged trauma is. Trauma that’s affecting you in so many ways - psychologically, physically, emotionally, and mentally - but you have no idea that it’s caused by something in your past… or present. So it means that we can be medicating for the symptoms, but we’re not treating the cause. In this episode, I talk about why it’s so important to acknowledge all your trauma and to start to work through it. This might take more than just writing in your journal. You might need professional help to do it, and that’s totally okay. There is no quick fix to trauma. You need to acknowledge it and work through it day by day. You’ll be stronger, better, and healthier for working through it. I talk about triggers as well. Triggers are huge, and if you don’t know what yours are, something can come out of nearly nowhere and knock you for six. Self-reflection is super important. Have you acknowledged all the trauma in your life? Do you know how to talk to others going through traumatic experiences? How do you deal with the red flags in your life? Let me know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode: Why you diminish your worth by not allowing your experiences to come to light Why you can’t address trauma with a quick fix How it’s possible to overlook trauma and try to medicate other aspects of your health Why you need to acknowledge that trauma exists in order to start working through it What would help other people acknowledge the trauma that you’re going through Why you will be stronger because you’ve worked through your trauma How to trust yourself and your own gut instinct What triggers are and why it’s so important to know what yours are What the difference between internal and external triggers are   Quotes: “You can alter how you feel with a pill, but you can also alter it by acknowledging how you feel and doing something with it.” (1:24) “A lot of the time we don’t acknowledge the trauma that we’re going through because we’re in it. We’re knee deep in it. And it’s hard to see outside of it because we’re inside of it.” (5:25) “Acknowledging your trauma is so much more than just looking at it. It’s about self-acceptance, it’s about self-love, and it’s about self-care.” (11:07) Links Find my website at KimBao.co   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 004: Learning To Trust & Love After An Abusive Relationship w/ Melinda Hopper 001: It’s Time To Destigmatize Therapy. You In? w/ Alexandra Wright 012: How To Confront Sexual Trauma & The Road To Recovery w/ Alison Forsyth    Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Divorce is a truly traumatic experience, but one that we often don’t think of as causing grief in our lives. And going through a divorce can be one of the most difficult things a person can experience. They’re full of heartbreak, hardship, anger, regret, and hatred. My guest today, Mike Kim, is an internationally known branding specialist - but it’s his traumatic divorce that led him to where he is today. Mike opens up today in this incredibly emotionally raw episode to talk us through what happened to turn his 12-year marriage sour. We’re getting really messy and personal in this look inside the male psyche during a rough divorce. During this time, Mike didn’t know how to cope with his anger and grief and turned to so many other methods to cope with his divorce. In this episode, we’re talking about blocking and why it’s important to feel your feelings. We also go into how a messy divorce and a spouse who has cheated on you can seriously impact your confidence - not just in getting out and dating new people, but on a business front as well. How do you know when it’s time to seek some outside help to guide you through your trauma? Have you gone through a divorce? Or are you currently going through one? How do you communicate with your partner through the tough times? What coping mechanisms do you use going through something traumatic? Leave a comment on the episode page!   In This Episode: Why it’s so important to feel your feelings, especially anger when going through traumatic experiences How emotional blocking can impede your healing process How going through a divorce can impact your confidence How women and men process trauma differently Why it’s so easy to overlook the fact that divorce is trauma When you should seek outside, neutral help, like a counselor Why you can lash out in anger at the person who hurt you most How to learn not to freak out about finding the next person to build a relationship with How to have the courage to ask for help when you need it Quotes: “Women get sad, men get mad. But men get mad because they’re sad. And until men deal with the anger, we can’t actually get to the root of the hurt.” (21:21) “I have made the decision to not be victimized anymore, to not be traumatized, to not allow people into my life who are going to take advantage of me. Whatever you are going through in your life, you’ve made a decision.” (25:30) “I was able to finally say something to her after the anger had passed. And I was able to admit: “Hey, I know you actually tried to say sorry, I just couldn’t hear it at the time. And that was on me. But I just couldn’t hear it at the time.” (55:56) “I didn’t know how to express anger in a healthy way. I just shut completely down.” (1:06:35) “Life is not meant to be lived by default. It has to be by design.” (1:14:39)   Links Find Mike Kim Online Follow Mike Kim on Facebook | Instagram | LinkedIn | Twitter   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 007: Reshaping Men’s Presence In The World w/ Sharif Joynson 005: Why You NEED To Learn How To Set & Enforce Strict Boundaries w/ Kyree Oliver 004: Learning To Trust & Love After An Abusive Relationship w/ Melinda Hopper   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

On a scale of none to forever, how much time do you spend on social media a day? If you’re anything like me, it’s probably a lot. A lot of time you spend scrolling through your feeds trying to engage with people you don’t know to grow a following because that’s what you’ve been told to do by all these business gurus out there. What if I told you there was a different way? I’m Kim Bao, host of Trauma to Triumph, and this is my first solo show. I wanted to share with you all today why I’ve decided to remove my profiles from all social media. I was always hesitant to start a social media account in the first place, and while I did dabble in 2011, it wasn’t until 2016 when I got fully hooked. I was on my way to an Unleash the Power Within event with Tony Robbins and my friend told me he was connecting to others at the event through Facebook. Intrigued, I signed up and immediately started networking. Don’t get me wrong, I grew a (comparatively) small, but highly engaged audience and have built some pretty solid relationships. But this past Christmas, I decided to do a social experiment with myself. I detoxed from social for 10 days, and when it came to head back online, I really found I didn’t want to. The benefits of being away from social media far outweighed what I got from being present online. Today, I’m sharing with you what that experience taught me and how I’m using that to explore other means of connecting, engaging, and growing my audience. I want to find out once and for all if I can do this without these social networking platforms. And above all, I want to win the way I want to, not the way someone else tells me I should. When it comes to social media, and really, all aspects of your life, ask yourself these questions: Will it help you perform at a greater level? Does it bring you joy? Do you like it? Do you plan on asking yourself these questions? What impact do you think they will have on your life? Leave me a comment on the episode page!   In This Episode: How you can connect to other people you normally never would have without social media What taking a break from social media allows you to do in its place How leaving social media can make you a better person and a more in tune friend Why social media can prevent you from following your true happiness How much time it takes to grow an engaged social media following How to grow an engaged audience without using social media   Quotes: “I have this love/hate... But not really hate… this love/disinterest of social media.” (5:39) “I really wanted my creative space to be mine and mine entirely. I wanted my voice to be more uniquely mine without the influence of competition, comparison, and distraction.” (7:52) “This isn’t where my heart is with social media. I needed to reevaluate, set up some different rules for myself and watch myself win the way that I wanted to win.” (14:45) Links Find my website at KimBao.co If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 013: The Importance Of Owning Your Sexuality & Why You’re Not Alone w/ Brandon Meneses 011: How To Allow Your Passions To Dictate Your Future w/ Wynona Karbo 009: The Importance Of Spiritual Wellbeing On All Aspects Of Your Life w/ Exavier Pope     Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook  

Coming to terms with your identity can be a struggle in and of itself, but when you add the perceived and real reactions of the people around you, it can seem nearly impossible. Brandon Meneses is a bright, caring, and spiritual young man who is full of life, energy, and focuses on being intentional and manifesting the life he wants to live. But he wasn’t always this way. Brandon struggled with his identity since he was in kindergarten. Realizing that he liked boys confused him and he was unsure how to approach his new sexuality. This led him down a path of depression because he wasn’t living his fullest truth but couldn’t see how to embrace his identity. His depression took a suicidal turn and in his darkest moment contemplated taking his own life while holding a knife to his wrists. This was a turning point for him and he slowly started coming out to his family and friends. Today, Brandon lives an open, happy, and healthy life as a real estate agent in South Florida. On this episode, we’re talking about why it’s important to live your fullest truth and how you can embrace coming out. Our goal is to help support and shower you with love. To show you that it’s okay to own your sexuality. We’re also exploring how we, as allies, friends, and family, can support someone coming out. Brandon also talks about when, why, and how you can start to come out to your loved ones and what to do if someone isn’t accepting of your sexuality. Have you ever struggled with your sexuality or identity? Do you know how to help someone through difficult times? How do you talk to your children about sexual identity? Leave me a comment on the episode page! In This Episode: What happens when you come out What it’s like to realize the difference between liking hanging out with the guys and liking the boys How being in the closet can affect your mental health and lead to depression How you can help people through a coming out or transition Why it’s important to have open, encouraging conversations with your children How to create safe spaces for the LGBTQ+ community and those coming out How representation can help young people learning about their identities can ease the process of coming out Quotes: “Strength and really knowing that you’re enough is so powerful.” (16:12) “I hope that when people hear this podcast they go, “Wow, someone else understands me!” And I think that’s the first step: for people to know that they’re not alone.” (21:13) “Looking back at it, I would tell my mom to just let that little kid be the Queen that he thinks he is.” (28:38) “Once I came out, I could put all of my energy into being the best me I could be.” (39:37) Links Follow Brandon Meneses on Facebook | Instagram Find The J Alexander Group Online | Facebook   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 012: How to Confront Sexual Trauma & The Road to Recovery with Alison Forsyth 010: Finding Your True Light in Darkness with Erica Marie Wigley 002: What it Looks Like to Keep Fighting When Times Get Tough with Sifu Alex Richter   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook  

Breaking through the stigma of sexual trauma and getting on the road to recovery is not an easy feat. You’ll likely be faced with many blocks along the way: feeling shame that it happened, being afraid to speak out, and, unfortunately, people not believing your story. My friend and guest, Alison Forsyth, has experienced past sexual trauma and assault. She’s done the hard work and now sits and connects with others going through their own journey. Alison was first sexually assaulted when she was 15, then again at 17, before she was raped at 18 while traveling through Argentina. Alison didn’t come to accept these traumas until someone pointed out to her how wrong these situations actually were. She’s learned to live above her traumas and uses them to help connect with other people stuck in the cycle of sexual exploitation. She’s currently working as an outreach support worker with Scarlet Road, a non-profit organization that offers hope to those who have been sexually exploited. We talk about how someone even starts working with people who have been sexually exploited and why you need to have endurance and patience in this role. We also look at how important it is to give someone space to work through their trauma. It’s about having the courage to ask those hard questions and meet people where they are while avoiding the desire to simply just comfort or find an answer for them. Do you know anyone who has been sexually exploited? Do you know how to balance being supportive and giving space? How do you speak to your children about consent and feelings of appeasement? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode: Why you need endurance and certain life experiences to even want to work in sexual exploitation outreach Where the system is failing in sexual education and how it can be challenged Why it’s important to name your sexual assault How to teach our children about consent and feelings of appease Why it’s important to give space to let someone work through issues on their own and come to their own realizations and conclusions Why women hold onto sexual assault for an unnecessarily long amount of time   Quotes: “The power is in having people who have experienced sexual exploitation and that are comfortable sharing their story create spaces for those with similar stories to feel comfortable coming forward.” (18:55) “As parents, are we having these conversations with our kids, are we having them enough, and are we being really transparent?” (38:53) “It starts on a really small level of learning to respect someone’s boundaries and how to communicate about that and, on the flip side of that, if you’re the one saying no or establishing the boundaries. It’s also teaching your kids that one, it’s okay to say no and two, not to apologize for saying no.” (43:20) Links Find Scarlet Road Online Alison Forsyth Blog | Website Follow Alison Forsyth on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 010: Finding Your True Light in Darkness with Erica Marie Wigley 006: How to Handle Confrontation with Courage and Grace with Lora Clothier 004: Learning to Love & Trust After an Abusive Relationship with Melinda Hopper   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

When it comes to owning your own business, is it better to start from scratch or buy an already existing one? I’ve known today’s guest, Wynona Karbo, from my previous job as a financial advisor, where I helped get her the finance secured to choose the latter. Wynona, who’s an avid dog lover and used to dogsit up to 15 pets at a time(!!) bought Ahimsa Dog Training school in Broward, Washington. We get into the nitty-gritty of facing your fears when doing something completely scary and out of your comfort zone - like buying a business. We’re also talking about what it takes to be a business owner in today’s competitive world, how to balance your passions with the operational side of a business, and why you need to be connected to your business at all levels. Are you thinking of buying an existing business? How do you make sure you have enough time for your passions while owning a business? Do you know how to build the right culture for your company? Leave me a comment on the episode page!   In This Episode: What benefits Wynona found from buying Ahimsa dog training instead of being an employee of another dog training center How to overcome the fear of doing something outside your comfort zone How to stay grounded and trust that a process is going to work itself out What it’s like to transition from owning a business to being an employee, and then back to owning a business Why it’s so helpful to have weekly check-ins with your employees How to have the ability to remove yourself from the things that you absolutely love, into more of the operational side of the business, yet still feel connected   Quotes: “Kids definitely watch more what you do than what you say.” 8.58 “What if you don’t take a path you want to, and instead have to watch it fall into somebody else’s hands.” 12.08 “It felt like it made sense, even if I couldn’t see everything that came with it.” 12.45 “It’s one thing to have to reassure investors, but it’s another thing to reassure investors while trying to reassure yourself, and trying to run a business.” 20.05 “Can you lose the ego and can you understand what’s really going on in your company culture?” 29.28 “Look at why you’re procrastinating and get the answers so you can move forward.” 42.30   Links Find Ahimsa Dog Training Online | Facebook   Ahimsa Praise Dog Training, LLC 925 NW 49th Street, Suite C, Seattle, WA 98107 (206) 364-4072   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 002: Alex Ritcher 003: Dr. AnnMaria De Mars 004: Sharif Joynson 006: Joel Cruzada   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

“I come as one, but I stand with 10,000.” This famous quote from Maya Angelou is the sentiment that Erica Marie Wigley has structured her entire life and businesses around. We’re talking in this show about how she has gone from being unhappy and struggling with the life she had to discovering what her right path is and turning that into reality. I actually met Erica when we were attending a Tony Robbins’ event that changed our lives and encouraged us to push past our fear and do it anyways. Erica is a life coach, mother of two gorgeous boys, developed and runs her own skincare range that was stocked in Whole Foods all over the country, and a strong woman who has faced a lot of hardship in her life. She carries her family with her in every conscious decision she makes. Are you okay with the life that you’re living? Are you at peace with the career path you’ve chosen? Are you still happy with the love that you have? Let us know in the comments section on the episode page! In This Episode: Why we choose to go on journeys in our lives without knowing what the finish line will bring How to set yourself on the road you want your life to be on, whether it’s in line with what society wants or not What it’s like to live every day in pain and how to find an opening out of this life How to use the Law of Attraction to change your life How to know what direction you need to go in How to take your vision and turn it into a reality   Quotes: “It was this constant play between who I was becoming and who I was at that moment.”  5.30 “Every experience is a learning experience based on how we look at it.” 15.15 “I finally let go because I was tired of being tired.” 25.35 “I can’t be a source of light and inspiration if I’m still going through my own pain.” 26.30 “It’s letting go of who you thought you were and embracing who you really are.” 28.35 Links Follow Erica Marie Wigley on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram Find Plush Skin Online | Facebook   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 004: Sharif Joynson 005: Kyree Oliver 006: Joel Cruzada 008: Alexandra Wright   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

It’s not often you get to meet and chat with someone who seemingly has it all together, but today’s guest, Exavier Pope, has definitely got it going on. Exavier is a sports lawyer who owns his own law firm, a yoga teacher, father, vegan, freestyle rapper, content creator, humanitarian, and a man of God. In this episode, we talk about how Exavier’s spiritual journey has positively impacted his mental health, physical wellbeing, and the lives of his family. We covered so many different topics and I left the conversation feeling refreshed, renewed, and ready to take on the world. Exavier is embarking on a keto cleanse for the first 19 days of 2019, but will his gluten-free and vegan lifestyle hinder that plan? We also touch on subjects around yoga, spirituality, freestyle rap, and how he walks with his family through every aspect of his life. How do you stay focused on your spiritual, physical, and mental wellness? Do you involve your children in your spiritual journey? What steps do you take to control negative emotions in your life? Let me know in the comments on the episode page!   In This Episode: What intermittent fasting is and how it works How the discipline of intermittent fasting led Exavier to start a yoga journey, which in turn led to a gluten-free and vegan diet How yoga can impact your health, wellness, and appearance Why Exavier and most of his family have gone vegan and what that transformation process looked like for them What are negative emotions and how we can help control them   Quotes: “My spiritual wellness brought in my physical and mental wellness. I strongly advise people to have a practice that’s grounded to who they are.” (8:07) “My life is not a typical life, so I’m not going to be doing typical stuff.” (18:11) “Fasting gives you that opportunity to be, not necessarily physically filled, but still nourished in the process.” (27:10) “There’s no such thing as being a non-participatory citizen. You participate in the system one way or the other.” (44:41) “I believe that our prayers should be connected. Our hands pressed together should be connected to our feet touching the ground.” (49:23) Links Follow Exavier Pope on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn | The Athletic Find The Pope Law Firm on Facebook   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 004: Sharif Joynson 005: Kyree Oliver 006: Joel Cruzada   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Faceb

Cryotherapy and float therapy are two treatments that have swept the nation by storm. Both of these recovery options help to treat both physical and mental stressors. Today’s guest, Joel Cruzada, has been a devout cryotherapy provider for years, but now he’s breaking out into the world of men’s coaching. A fun fact about Joel is that he used the Law of Attraction to help manifest $20,000 into his life. He uses this same drive and ambition to fuel his personal and business life. Joel also ensures he weaves faith and God into his message. Is your body spending enough time in Theta state? Do you prioritize recovery therapy after you’ve been working out? Let us know in the comments on the episode page! In This Episode: How our actions can sometimes hinder our children’s pursuit of their purpose and how we can instead nurture this adventure How parents accidentally condition their children to be afraid Why you need to impart good lessons for your children to carry through legacy How to sleep, and specifically Theta state, genuinely helps you heal physical, mental, and emotional trauma and how we can get there Why recovery is so vital to physical and mental healing What the benefits of cryotherapy and float therapy are and how these therapies work   Quotes: “Legacy dies with you if you don’t empty your cup.” 9.48 “Any type of fear is what will create trauma in your children.” 13.53 “The biggest difference between an amateur and a professional is that a professional knows that they have to build in recovery.” 31.57 “If a child is very active in sports, you should teach them all about recovery processes as well.” 47.38 “Loving and understanding all will open up so many more doors in your life.” 50.02 Links Find Joel Cruzada Facebook  Find CryoNext Online | Facebook   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 001: Alex Ritcher 002: Dr. AnnMaria De Mars 004: Sharif Joynson 005: Kyree Oliver   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

When it comes to embodying the masculine and feminine parts of your personality, it can be a challenge. Guest Sharif H. Joynson, is a martial artist and embodiment coach. His latest book, The Relationship Samurai, will help men get in touch with their masculine side by looking at real samurai techniques while living from the heart. The concept behind Sharif’s teachings is to open your heart but keep hold of your balls. Sounds bold? In this interview, we tackle issues that affect not only men but women, who struggle to come to terms with all aspects of their personalities. Do you feel the need to be the protector of your life and relationships? How do you prioritize intimacy with your partner? Do you feel in touch with both the masculine and feminine aspects of your personality? Let us know in the comments on the episode page!   In This Episode: How to balance the masculine and feminine aspects of your personality How can you forgive and find sources of healing when you’ve been wronged early in life Why it is so vital to address issues at the time they happen instead of pushing something off - and what message delaying an important conversation can have How our world has changed and most people are just learning about feeling validity, holding space, etc How you can start teaching emotional intelligence and how can you get male partners interested in learning this for themselves How women can better support the men in their lives   Quotes: “Invulnerability has been the platform for my practice of vulnerability. It’s a safety net.” 19.08 “Most of the time, we as kids have something happened to us and are like “we should have known better,” but really, how could we have known better?” 24.09 “Emotional intelligence (EQ) is not something that comes naturally.” 32.10 “If I want something I’ve never had, I’m gonna have to do something I’ve never done.” 35.41 “If everybody learned to take a conscious breath every now and then, throughout the day, to drop into the present moment, it totally changes your nervous system and state of consciousness. You open yourself up to mindfulness.” 47.30 “Men feel safer and able to drop into this healthy masculine place when they feel women are making an effort to relax into their feminine. And then feminine beings will feel more trusted when they see men doing likewise.” 52.28 Links Find Sharif H. Joynson Online | Instagram | Facebook Pick up The Relationship Samurai for Yourself   If you liked this episode, you should probably check out these past episodes: 001: Alex Ritcher 002: Dr. AnnMaria De Mars Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Confrontation is something most of us avoid seeking out - often at all costs. But as Lora Clothier shares with us today, we need to find a way to get comfortable with confrontation to be able to handle it effectively, if we want to get the most out of our lives. Like most of us, confrontation never came easy for Lora, but she has learned how to take that apprehension and use it to address difficult situations as they arise. Those situations have cropped up in growing her physical therapy practice to a point where she now employs 15 people, to loving her husband’s children from his first marriage, plus her background in sports. We talk about how titles are important and how they can help to alter someone’s perspective, as well as Laura's transition from transitioning from a background in communications into the field of physical therapy. How do you handle confrontation? Do you use titles in your daily life to create influence? How do you approach and talk about difficult conversations? Let me know in the comments! In This Episode: How sports can help you gain confidence in other areas of your life What failed relationships can lead you to learn about what you could have done differently Why you should never avoid confrontation and what the best way to actually address conflict is How you can foster loving relationships when blending families How titles can impact someone’s perception What the difference between physical therapy and chiropractic care is and how you can utilize both preventative cares to enhance your health Why it’s important to get people talking about those topics that matter   Quotes: “Sports does so many more things than just work you out.” (10:06) “It’s like having this mountain in the carpet that you stuff all your problems in, and you don’t say anything about it, you walk around it and stuff more problems in. Until it gets too big that you can’t get by it anymore.” (15:28) “We don’t really allow ourselves to have the grace to learn and be comfortable or be uncomfortable, and have those tough conversations without having real friction and issues with it.” (18:40) Links Find Biojunction Sports Therapy Online Follow Biojunction Sports Therapy on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram   Biojunction Sports Therapy 3727 California Avenue SW, Suite 1A Seattle, WA 98116   Biojunction Sports Therapy 4005 Wallingford Avenue N Seattle, WA 98103   Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Setting boundaries and expectations up front is the key to any successful business and personal relationship. I’m talking to Kyree Oliver about the importance of clear communication, why it’s so easy to learn what you don’t want out of a relationship, and how women can express the masculine aspect of their personality while still allowing their male partner to feel validated. Kyree is a successful marketing entrepreneur, but his roots are in college football. After leaving his scholarship behind, he spent years interviewing over 600 people from all walks of life about love, friendship, relationships, money, death, and more. Have you ever found yourself in a difficult situation between a work contract and a crisis? How do you make your expectations clear when entering into a relationship? Is it possible to be in a relationship while owning both the masculine and feminine sides of your personality? I'd love to hear your experience in the comments! In This Episode: How racial descriptions have evolved over time and why it matters How to know when you need to draw a line under something that’s bringing you pain, stress, or discomfort Why having a zero tolerance policy in regards to boundaries might be necessary when building personal relationships What men perceive they should be doing versus what women perceive should be happening Why you should make sure your expectations are made clear from the beginning of any relationship How women can speak up and express what they want while protecting the male ego   Quotes: “When I set up my boundaries ahead of time, I don’t have to think when that happens, I just do what I know I’m supposed to do.” (9:38) “There’s no limit to where I’ll go when I really believe in something, or when I really care about somebody.” (15:54) “The more we can learn from other people, the easier it will be to be grounded and not have to go through a traumatic or crazy situation in order to obtain that.” (18:54) “You have to tell most men explicitly ‘here’s what I need from you’” (39:15) “Real masculinity is holding space for women. Real masculinity is making men feel like they can tell men the difficult things that they don’t want to see sometimes because women have to protect man’s ego.” (41:55) “Honour the shit that you’ve been through so that you can love yourself the way you are today.” (57:25)   Links: Find Kyree Oliver Online Follow Kyree on Facebook | Instagram | Instagram     Come hang out with an amazing group of badass women in a private, supportive community, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Telling someone they should leave an abusive relationship is easy. But for the person inside that abuse, leaving could be the farthest thing from easy. Today’s guest, and my good friend, Melinda Hopper, was in an abusive relationship for years… until one day in 2011, she realized her husband was going to kill her and her kids. From waiting 37 minutes for 911 to respond to her call to finding inner peace and learning how to trust and love again, this is her story of resilience. Melinda has worked to overcome her trauma to have a life truly full of joy and happiness. There's too much to Melinda's story to explain in writing, so listen to the full episode to hear her share the full story. Are you in, or have you been in, a traumatic situation you aren’t sure you’ll get through? What methods do you use to get through triggering situations? How do you talk to your children about rape culture? Please keep this vital conversation going in the comments.    In This Episode: How to remain positive and have perseverance and grounding through hardship and trauma Why you don’t need someone to rescue you from abusive situations and you need to be the hero yourself What support options are available to help abused women How to know what your triggers are and how to deal with the emotions that come from being triggered How to find your way back to life after traumatic experiences Why changing the conversation about rape matters   Quotes: “When you have physical injuries, the scars sometimes stay. But the emotional and mental scars are really where the damage is done in these relationships.” (3:16) “You can know when something is going to build into a trigger, but you won’t always know when something’s going to be a lightning-fast trigger.” (21:01) “It didn’t matter what I did, I didn’t deserve the abuse. And it didn’t matter what I didn’t do, I didn’t deserve it. It was all the abuser. They did this.” (32:05) “It doesn’t matter what we do or say to ourselves, you still have the potential to be a victim. You cannot control what other people do.” (33:53) Links You can connect with Melinda inside my Facebook group, Bad-Ass Women Owning Sexy   Check out the full show notes for this episode! Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook  

She may have started with judo at the age of 12, won her first medal at 16, and was the first American to win a gold medal at the World Judo Championships in 1984, but there’s a lot more to today’s guest, Dr. AnnMaria De Mars than that, as she’s also built a phenomenally successful career in technology and games development. The Julia Group is a not for profit organization that began within the Spirit Lake Dakota Nation. Together with tech company 7th Generation Games, they’re developing video games that combine math, history, and adventure gaming. The highlight of these games, and something Dr. DeMars is immensely proud of, is that they are inclusive and bilingual, to include all children’s ways of learning. In our interview, we talk about how Dr. De Mars went from a gold medal judo champion to a games developer and professional at the University of Southern California. We look at the current state of judo. And we touch on ways you can help support 7th Generation Games, from sharing the games on social media, leaving reviews on the App Store and Google Play, or bigger requests, such as sponsoring a school. Do you feel called to make a dramatic pivot in your career? How would you stand up against adversity? Have you ever healed yourself through physical activity?   In This Episode: How Dr. De Mars channeled her teenage anger into something productive, like judo, instead of dangerous activities How Dr. De Mars identified drinking with lack of action and why she quit drinking for a year Would she change any parts of her early life if it would have meant different coping mechanisms What it was like to change her career path and start working for herself How the role out of these unique maths programs impacted the communities they’ve been released in Why it’s so important to find other people who support you and what you’re doing What it was like to start dating again after losing her husband at middle age How has judo changed since the 1980’s and whether or not it’s changed for the better How do you create boundaries and safeguards when faced with resistance, especially to safeguard children   Quotes: “If you give kids less math, they’re going to learn less math.” 19:20 “Women aren’t judged on their accomplishments. Women are judged on their potential.” 24:16 “I do think that gaslighting happens to everybody, and you have to guard against it.” 28:10 “Being a good manager is all about seeing what needs to be done and then doing it.” 34:13 “There’s a lot to the building character aspects of judo, but a lot of that is just talk. Sports doesn’t build character, it reveals it.” 52:32 “Help your kids and they will like it. There’s no downside to that.” 1:09:54   Links Check out the full show notes for this episode! Find Dr. AnnMaria De Mars on The Business/Judo Life | Instagram Follow 7th Generation Games on Facebook | Instagram | YouTube | Twitter The Julia Group   Play and Review Making Camp: PREMIUM! on App Store | Google Play Play and Review Making Camp: Bilingual on App Store | Google Play Play and Review Making Camp: Free on App Store | Google Play   Play and Review AzTech: The Story Begins on App Store Play and Review AzTech: Meet the Maya on the App Store   Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Martial arts is more than just a drop-in activity where you can get fit. Wing Tsun Kung Fu is a dedicated practice that can change your life, just as it did for Sifu Alex Richter, owner of City Wing Tsun in New York City. In fact, this style of kung fu didn’t just change Alex’s life, it saved it. Since he was 8 years old, martial arts has called to Sifu Alex Richter. Once he left high school, Alex spent 3 years training 30 hours a week at Langenzell Castle in Germany, the former headquarters for the European WingTsun Organization (EWTO). He continues his training by traveling to Hong Kong to study with a Wing Tsun master at least twice a year. I’ve actually known Alex since we were both in school and sitting down to record this episode was a real pleasure. We talked about pursuing your passion, marketing strategies, and then we get intimate and talk about the hard times Alex has been through. Have you ever pursued your passion rather than a traditional career route (school, college, full-time job)? If so, what adventures has that led you on? Have you ever had depression?   In This Episode: Who Sifu Alex Richter’s role model is and how he first became interested in martial arts Why Alex decided to ignore the naysayers and pursue kung fu rather than something to fall back on How Alex knew what he was destined to do with his life and when he fell in love with it Why taking a one hour class or tutorial doesn’t mean you’ve learned something, whether that’s martial arts or Instagram marketing What Alex’s turning point was How Alex dealt with the disappointment of teaching outside his preferred demographic What it’s like to lose a close friend and student, and how Alex dealt with feeling responsible for his death How Alex fell deep into depression and what made him finally seek help What skills Alex used to help him overcome his depression   Quotes: “Working for somebody else does not give you any psychological security.” 12.35 “You can fail at the thing you don’t want to do, or you can fail at the thing you do want to do.” 13.11 “It’s not up to me to tell someone what the journey’s going to give them at the end. I just provide the vehicle” 22.21 “There are some people who get hit, they get stronger. And there are some people who get hit and they cower” 36.55 “If you go through something at your worst, everything else doesn’t seem that bad anymore.” 1.02.58   Links Check out the full show notes for this episode! Find Sifu Alex Richter Online Follow Sifu Alex Richter on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram Listen to Dudes of Kung Fu on iTunes | Podbean | Stitcher Learn Kung Fu in New York City   City Wing Tsun 1024 6th Ave, New York, NY 10018, USA   Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

Taking that first step into seeking help and getting therapy doesn’t have to be daunting. I know, I’ve been there, I’ve been through it - every Tuesday afternoon for 52 weeks, actually. And today’s guest, Alexandra Wright, was my therapist, with whom I shared my journey through self-discovery and addressing my own traumatic issues. Alexandra’s approach to therapy sees her meeting clients where they are right now in their lives and helping them work through issues from their past. She’s qualified in a number of therapeutic practices that will help you get to the root of your trauma in a way that suits you best. Have you suffered from trauma as a child? How did you choose your therapist? Do you know what the right type of therapy for you is? Please let me know in the comments on the episode page.   In This Episode: How to know when you need to start going to therapy Why it’s important to clear out your metaphorical closet in order to learn how to love yourself unconditionally What EMDR is and how it relates to trauma protocol How to turn a negative event into a positive thought What to do when you’re stuck in fight or flight mode How to find a therapist who is worth your time, energy, and investment What you need to know about the different therapy styles and how to choose what is best for you   Quotes: “If there is a shortcut to therapy, it’s to get back to who you are and who you were originally meant to be when you came into the world.” 3:52 “No child should ever have to protect themselves in society.” 19:48 “My faith in humanity is restored when my clients start to heal.” 21:10 “Just admit: I am awesome because I’m here and I’ve survived all the things that have happened to me to do what I am doing in this world, to be who I am in this world.” 52:08   Links Check out the full show notes page here! Find Wright Counseling Online   Wright Counseling Seattle 3245 Fairview Avenue East Suite 310B Seattle, WA 98102 tel:  (206) 229 5583   Keep up with me and everything Trauma To Triumph here Follow me on Instagram | Facebook

This is the show for bad***es who know that they are greater than what they are doing, but haven't slowed down enough to breathe. Overfunctioning, overachievers who want to do more with their lives then what societal norms would have us do. Here we're able to take a look at how others have been able to say "no" to things that don't serve them, take control of their own lives, and connect with what they ultimately want to do. See how everyone from celebrities, doctors, and everyday superstars make their mark despite the trauma they've faced. It's a place to explore and understand the hero's journey, as you move into embracing your own.