Wellsprings Solutions - Emotional and Spiritual Wellness

What is healthy submission and boundaries in marriage, and when can submission cross the line into control? As a group practice of therapists, we too often see biblical submission used in an unhealthy way. In this episode, licensed, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss the cultural context and biblical understanding of love and submission, how influences in our current culture, like purity culture and our experiences in childhood, impact how we relate to our spouses and operate in our marriages, and what both his and her jobs are in a healthy marriage. Links: Tim Mackie Sermon: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBuDX8ds5ME Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions: https://amzn.to/3SQWZDu Jay Stringer, Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing: https://amzn.to/4dtFbXs Richard Schwartz, You Are the One You've Been Waiting For: Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships: https://amzn.to/3M6weXI (Please note, as an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases)

A re-release of an old episode! In 2022, we did a series called "Know Thy Trauma." Throughout multiple episodes, we discussed trauma and its components: generational trauma, attachment styles, triggers, and so much more. This summer, we're revamping our most popular episodes of that series! To start us off, we have part 1 of 5 types of narcissists. In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss narcissism and 2 out of the 5 types we commonly see. Vulnerable and covert narcissists can be difficult to spot due to coming off as "givers", and Sharon and Cait dive into detail about what makes them narcissistic. Subscribe and leave a 5-star review, and follow us on Instagram and Facebook @wholeselftherapists!

Professional counselors Sharon and Kayla are joined by guest Matt Owen, a counselor at the Moore Resilient Group, to discuss the messaging Western culture sends men and what boxes men can be put in as a result. They talk about gender roles, what men are taught about friendships and romantic relationships from a young age, how men are shown to handle emotions, and more. Lastly, they discuss what effect these things can have on men's mental health and relationships, and what men can do to challenge or work through these narratives.

Low sexual desire in married women is a topic we encounter a lot in our counseling office, and is more nuanced than you think. Licensed, professional counselors Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader discuss the factors that contribute to lower sex drive, like gender roles, purity culture, unequal labor divisions in the home, pornography, and more. This episode is a follow up to our episodes on The Mental Load of Women, Weaponized Incompetence, and Boundary Conversations with Your Partner. Link to the study: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8382213/ The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Gregiore: https://amzn.to/3Vuub5V Jimmy On Relationships on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jimmy_on_relationships This post may contain affiliate links so we may receive compensation if you purchase products linked to below. As an Amazon Associate, we can earn from qualifying purchases.

Have you seen tons of posts on social media about narcissists, or people breaking off relationships with "toxic" people? In this episode, Sharon and Mandy break down concepts that have been popularized by pop psychology, like narcissism, gaslighting, abuse, trauma, and more to help bring clarity to what is true about these topics and what is not. Follow us on Instagram and Facebook @wholeselftherapists!

Pop psychology can encompass any psychological concept, diagnosis, theory, etc, that has been popularized in mainstream media. You might have seen some of the following terms on social media: narcissism, toxicity, gaslighting, triggers, codependency, abuse, or more. In part one, Sharon Wegman (MA, NCP, LPC) and Mandy talk about the rise of pop psychology, why it's so appealing, it's validity, and how to discern if what you're consuming online is quality information. You can visit our website, wellspringssolutions.com, and follow us on Facebook and Instagram at Whole Self Therapists.

Chronic illness impacts not only our physical health, but our mental health as well. The lifestyle changes, dietary changes, relational changes, and more can lead to feelings of isolation, depression, anxiety. Individuals can also go through traumatic experiences amidst those changes and during the process of diagnosis and treatment, which can lead to PTSD. In this podcast episode, licensed, professional counselor Sharon Wegman talks with Mandy, who was diagnosed with a chronic illness of the GI tract in 2019. They discuss the eastern vs. western mindsets when it comes to long term suffering and the different ways gut health and illness impact the brain. They also discuss how individuals can improve their mental health while dealing with chronic illness, and tips for how others can care for and support those experiencing long term suffering. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Trauma counselor Cait Beiler and former teacher Mandy discuss the nature of teaching and how it can impact teachers. They talk about vicarious trauma, burnout, and personalizing student behavior. They give practical feedback on what teachers can do when they encounter those things, and how teachers can manage their mental health.

In this episode, former teacher Mandy Kaucher and trauma therapist Cait Beiler sit down to discuss student behavior. They identify four main types of student behavior (the disengaged student, the outburst student, the defiant student, and the perfectionist), and talk about what how those might show up in your classroom and what you can do about them. Follow us on instagram @wholeselftherapists

In the follow up to parts 1 and 2 about the mental load and weaponized incompetence, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss ways to go about talking to your spouse or partner about those topics. There are tips for having a successful conversation, examples of different types of boundaries, and more! Links: Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/43HAEed Set Boundaries Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab (affiliate link): https://amzn.to/472xWCR

In this episode, professional counselor Sharon Wegman is joined by former-teacher-turned-office-admin Mandy Kaucher to discuss how teachers can set boundaries, and the benefits of doing so. They discuss boundaries with administration, parents, students, and self, as well as things teachers can do to help stave off burnout and improve their mental health.

In this episode, licensed, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla continue their discussion of the mental load by talking about weaponized incompetence. Weaponized incompetence occurs when someone attempts to not learn tasks, does them badly, or invalidates them to try and get out of doing them (whether intentionally or subconsciously). Like in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond, Ray purposefully changes diapers badly so Deborah doesn't ask him to do it again. For additional info, check out our blog post here, or follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss the mental load of women and how it can impact not only the person, but the relationship they're in. They talk about ways to start the discussion with your partner about the mental load to reach a place where things feel more balanced in the relationship.

In this episode, Sharon and office administrator Mandy discuss strategies for dealing with emotionally unhealthy parents as a follow up to part one. They also chat about new changes coming to their office that you can hear at the end of the episode! After this episode, we will be taking a hiatus from our podcast to focus on those changes, so make sure to follow us wherever you stream your podcast, and on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Check out our website, wellspringssolutions.com, for more announcements and updates on our classes, groups, and programs.

An emotionally unhealthy parent is one who has never worked through their own past or childhood wounds, so they cannot handle hard emotions or feelings. They will often justify not having done so, and show a pattern of unhealthy behaviors and communication. In this episode, therapists Sharon and Cait describe the traits of emotionally unhealthy parents, and give examples of what you might see or hear if you bring a tough emotion or situation to them. Find and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. For more information, check out the book at the link below! (Affiliate Disclaimer: This is an affiliate link. If you choose to purchase through it, it does not change the price in anyway, but we get a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases). https://amzn.to/3RR4SX0

Professional counselors Cait and Kayla discuss what to do (and what not to do) to communicate effectively in safe relationships. They go through the tips in the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find--and Keep-- Love by Rachel Heller, Amir Levine and explain each step in depth and with examples. If you've ever found yourself wondering how to effectively communicate your needs, or how to ensure you're hearing your partner and they're hearing you, or what's really happening when one partner blames the other for not making dinner, this episode is for you! Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Attached Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Anxious-Avoidant-science-attachment/dp/1529032172/ref=asc_df_1529032172/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=77281545773&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154 Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/The-Power-of-Vulnerability-audiobook/dp/B00D1Z9RFU/ref=sr_1_4?crid=RN1O0RP08Y9X&keywords=brene+brown+vulnerability&qid=1662055081&s=books&sprefix=brene+brown+vul%2Cstripbooks%2C85&sr=1-4

In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon build off the previous episode about what kids are feeling when it comes times to go back to school. They discuss what anxiety is, how kids experience it, and how important it is for parents to be able to attune to their children's feelings to help them work through whatever they are experiencing. They give examples of how to attune, and then strategies for parents to help their kids work through their anxiety and prepare for the transition back to school. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss why children might start acting differently when August hits. They explain why kids might start feeling more anxious, and what anxiety looks like in kids who don't have the language or awareness to explain or name what they're feeling. Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists!

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss how our adult views and decisions surrounding money were formed and influenced. While it is a topic sometimes seen as taboo or not something everyone wants to discuss, it's helpful to dig into our feelings and reactions around money- it can tell us a lot about ourselves and our beliefs. Find us on instagram @wholeselftherapists!

In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Cait discuss how our relationship with food was influenced and how we might've formed our beliefs about it. They discuss the different variables, how to avoid passing unhealthy beliefs to our children, and how to break unhealthy beliefs tied to food. If you are in the state of Pennsylvania and are interested in scheduling with our counselor, Joanna Faljean, visit our website at wellspringssolutions.com. Like, subscribe, and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, Sharon and Cait follow up on the last episode about how parenting is triggering. They discuss what can trigger parents or caretakers in each age group of newborns/babies, 0-5, and up, and how we can cope when we are triggered. The book mentioned in today's episode can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=asc_df_0553386697/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=60258870697&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135

In this bonus episode, Sharon Wegman interviews Ann Bruno, M. Ed., CARC, about her specialty of addictions treatment, and how outside-of-the-box thinking can aid professionals in their recovery. If you are interested in Ann Bruno's program, The Sober Academy, you can get in touch with her through her email: brunoann1@msn.com or call/text: 520-370-9020.

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the big emotions we can feel while parenting. They explore the following questions and more: Why can we feel so riled up from our kids? Why can we feel like our bodies are on edge? Why do we want to shut down when our child behaves a certain way? Or have the sudden urge to yell? In the next episode, they explore how parents can cope with feeling triggered in each stage of their child's life.

Do you feel spent after a day at work? Do you find yourself unable to sleep at night, or feeling anxious or sick to your stomach at the thought of going to work? In this final episode in our trauma series, Cait and Sharon discuss workplace trauma. Workplace trauma has always been around, especially in jobs that deal hands-on with trauma (first responders, healthcare workers, etc), but since the start of the pandemic, we have seen more and more jobs become harder and often more traumatic for workers. Listen in to discover how we can develop workplace trauma, how it plays out in our day-to-day lives, and how to cope with it. Visit our website, wellspringssolutions.com, and find Work Well: Transforming Toxic Environments & Creating Healthy Corporate Culture here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1733992804/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B9668PETHSVKTN1N0K31

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss medical trauma. They describe what it looks like, how it occurs, give examples of different types of medical traumas, and detail strategies for coping with it.

A question we often hear is, "when will I be better?" or, "how long will it take until I don't feel like this anymore?" In this episode, licensed/professional counselors Cait and Sharon discusses the timeline for healing. They explain the therapeutic process, the 3 things that make healing "go faster", what to do if you're unsure if your therapist is a good fit, and more. Follow us Instagram/Facebook @thewholeselftherapists, or visit our website wellspringssolutions.com.

In this episode, licensed/professional counselors Sharon and Cait discuss spiritual trauma. They detail what it is and what it can look like, the results it can have on a person, and how important it is to heal our spirits and relationship with spirituality when working toward general healing of the body and mind.

Leaving a relationship with a narcissist can be extremely difficult, especially given the way they cycle through love-bombing, devaluing/abuse, rejection, and then trying to suck you back into the relationship. In this episode, licensed, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss what a good constitutes a good apology, how to set boundaries with a narcissist, how to know if you should leave the relationship, and how to go about creating an exit plan to do so safely. To follow us on Instagram, find us under our new name @wholeselftherapists

In this episode, licensed counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the remaining two types of narcissists- classic and malignant. The classic narcissist is the typical archetype of a person who is an exhibitionist with an inflated sense of self, while the malignant narcissist is a very manipulative and exploitive person who frequently hurts others for pleasure. Get your free "5 Types of Narcissists" download here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/

In this episode, Sharon and Kayla discuss 5 types of narcissists they typically deal with. They define the term narcissist, and in this first part of a two part episode, they discuss the most confusing types of narcissists- Vulnerable and Covert. Free 5 Types of Narcissists download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/

In this episode, licensed professional counselors Sharon and Kayla discuss coping mechanisms, and the three underlying emotions that usually drive us to employ a defense mechanism. They detail the six ways we tend to respond to these emotions, and why it is important to recognize so we can work to identify the unhealthy defense mechanism and replace it with a healthy coping mechanism.  Free Coping Mechanism download available here: https://wellspringssolutions.com/resources/ 

In this episode, counselors Kayla and Sharon discuss the “inner child”, using simple analogies, stories, and real life examples to aid listeners in understanding this concept.They define the term, note why it is important to understand our inner children, how it impacts us in adulthood, and how to begin healing the inner child. Knowing and recognizing our inner child can help us identify why we react to things the way we do, and start to relearn new and healthy behaviors in response to triggering words or events.  Resources:  Blog: https://insighttimer.com/blog/inner-child-meaning-noticing-healing-freeing/ Podcast: The Inner Child Podcast Books : Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents Paperback Lindsay C. Gibson PsyD, Healing the Wounded Child Within: Heal Your Wounds, Change Your Life by Ricky Roberts III

An agreement is a truth that is decided or agreed. They can be made as the result of some kind of traumatic event, statements or labels from relationships, roles in our childhood homes, or hurts and pains we've experienced. These experiences sent some kind of message to ourselves that we then agreed to, and now live our life as if it is truth. When we live our lives as if these agreements were truths, we find that they are binding and limiting as they play out into adulthood. Listen to Kayla and Sharon discuss examples of agreements, how they are formed, why it's important to understand them, and how to name and break them.

It's important to know your trauma and story so you can know what triggers you. When you're able to identify your triggers, you can begin to repave your neural pathways so you can respond differently to what might trigger you in the present. For more information on what triggers are, how to identify them, how they might make you respond, somatic exercises to help you out of a trigger response, and more- listen to Cait and Sharon in our 4th episode of our podcast series, Know Thy Trauma.

Knowing our attachment styles lends us insight into how we view ourselves, relate to other people, and can help us understand our trauma . In this podcast episode, counselors Sharon, Cait and Kayla discuss the importance of knowing your attachment style. They look at the five "A's" needed in childhood - affection, affirmation, attunement, affect regulation, and attention, how they relate to the five love languages, and describe the different styles of attachment.

The influence of parents is pivotal in child development in cognitive skills, behaviors, social skills, coping skills, and general security.  Therefore it is essential to understand our parent's story and their trauma to gain a greater understanding of ourselves.  How did their own traumatic experiences influence how they parented us?  How did they model coping skills to us?  As we seek a greater understanding of our functioning in life, it is crucial to trace the roots of the previous generations so that we come to understand some of our beliefs resulting from our parent's traumatic experiences.  For example, was one of your parents abused, and how does that impact how they under or over-protected us?  Did your parents experience a significant loss that they were never allowed to process?  Was your parent able to handle your losses as a child in a nurturing way, or were you forced to take care of their feelings? Although understanding the traumas of our parents is essential in unraveling our own unhealthy beliefs and coping skills, it does not negate their responsibility to pursue healing for themselves.  Our role is not to devalue our pain because of our parent's pain, but we can more effectively heal when we understand them and, in turn, understand how to create a healthy foundation based on truth and not our parent's trauma.

This episode is our introductory recording in our new series, “Know Thy Trauma.” Sharon Wegman, Cait Beiler, and Kalya Seader explain why each person needs to understand their personal trauma history and how it affects our body, mind, emotions, and relationships.   Unknown trauma can evidence itself in depression, anxiety, physical ailments, our ability to focus, our relationships, and a plethora of other symptoms. People fail to understand that the events from their childhood during the critical bonding stage affect them even if they have little memory. Additionally, beliefs formed years in childhood are also part of the foundation from which trauma operates in the person. When an event has occurred, the brain changes to accommodate the sheer amount of loss or transition the body has had to make for the events.  Our trauma events get stored like a disorganized filing cabinet that needs to be reorganized understandably, and therapy helps the brain and body again create the order it requires to function healthily.  Join us as we help people “Know Thy Trauma.” For more more information, visit wellspringssolutions.com or DM us on Instagram or Facebook @wellspringssolutions

At our practice, we see a lot of teenagers and a lot of parents of teenagers. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman talk about the teen brain and why it is essential to understand what is happening during these developmental years. As therapists, we believe when you can receive knowledge about something, that…

For a lot of people, the holidays can be a triggering time of year for a variety of reasons. While you may have been practicing how to manage these triggers, one new aspect has been thrown in the mix – COVID. In this episode, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader explore triggers such as rejection, fear…

Have you ever thought to yourself, “What is mindfulness?  What does that mean?”  Mindfulness is the process of doing specific exercises to transform how your brain engages with the rest of the world.  We often find that we have an automatic fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to something that triggers a feeling similar to…

Relationships and the associated conflict of relationships can have behavioral reactions that have nothing to do with the person with whom we have strife.  Many of us learned trauma coping skills at a very early age.  If attachment patterns form during 0-3 years and our world view forms during 0-12 years, then much of how…

Shame is the most significant behind the scenes motivator of a lot of the counseling topics that come through our office. It is the enemy of your being. It drives addictions, self-image problems, marriage struggles, depression, anxiety, etc. Whatever problem you name, there is an element of shame that may not have caused the root of the problem, but now exists.

In 1944 there was a famous movie released by the name “Gaslight.”  The film is the story of a man who marries a woman after a whirlwind relationship to manipulate her for financial gain.  Throughout the movie, the husband proceeds to do a variety of deceptive things to convince his wife that she is insane […]

Self Harm is a growing trend amongst pre-teen and teens, and it is a topic that frequently comes up in the world of counseling. Parents, concerned friends, and even the person doing self-harm, often feel confused regarding the behavior. Self-harm touches all people groups, but it manifests itself in different expressions. Unfortunately, many people learn […]

Co-dependency was a word that was coined by people working in the field of addictions to describe the behavior of members of an addict’s family that enabled the addict to continue with addict choices.  However, in the world of counseling, we have taken over the term to describe the behaviors of individuals who carry things […]

The trend and comfort of going to counseling has only developed popularity within the past decade or so. This is a good thing, but as a therapist, I still encounter the negative views or “cliches” people see in counseling. As a culture, we are just now starting to come out of the perspective that going […]

Anxiety rates are on the rise in the western world. In fact, in 2018 study on anxiety, it was determined that “1 in 5 five individuals deal with some form of anxiety and would be considered the highest prevalent form of mental illness in the United States”. Most people feel a lot of shame about […]

School summer vacation has an immense undercurrent to it these days.  Below the surface of the joy that the children feel about summer vacation from school, there exists a hint of angst when parents think about children being home in summer.  It is rare though when a parent openly shares their negative feelings of shame […]

How do you relate with others?  Are you secure? Do you struggle with social anxiety?   Sometimes understanding the truth of how we relate to people is the first step to beginning to make the necessary changes in how we relate to people.  Most people fail to understand that attachment takes place in the first three […]

It’s common for people sitting across from me in the counseling office to talk about their inability to feel safe or connected to God.  Their walk with God seems very distant or is plagued with feels of guilt and shame. Some people are pretty clear that they want no part of God because of how […]

By Cait Beiler “Because sex isn’t properly introduced to us as a gift from God, an act of worship, and a holy binding act that should be celebrated in the right context, we know sex as something as scandalous and devious and guilt-carrying to desire.” – Moh Iso Yup, that’s right you read the title […]