For the Love of Climbing

On October 29, 2019, Michelle Xue and her climbing partner, Jenny Shedden, set off to climb Red Slate Mountain in the Sierra Nevada when they were struck by rockfall and killed. This story is told through the lens of her dear friend, Artem.While all genres of climbing can be dangerous, alpine climbing is likely the most. These stories of loss pay tribute to loved ones, but beyond that, the life of an alpine climber is complex. They say, “What's done in love, is done well.” But the passion for this sport creates a catch-22.The cold paradox of alpine climbing leaves loved ones behind, pondering the timeworn question: Why do we climb? Why choose to continue a sport when the risks encountered could mean death? Everyone will grieve in this lifetime. And everyone will experience loss. It's a painful but normal part of the human experience, and the process of grief, though it moves, will move in cycles.This episode is in loving memory of Michelle Xue and Jenny Shedden.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

“Are you a good witch or a bad witch?” Glinda asked Dorothy when she crash-landed in Oz for the first time. The theory of everything is that every element has an opposite. And by this logic, if there are, in fact, “good moms”, then it would follow that there must also be “bad moms”. But it doesn't really work that way because the system of measurement that dictates the “good mom” / “bad mom” status is fundamentally flawed.When Tracy became a newly-minted mom, she was determined to find a way to stick with climbing while she navigated all the new hurdles motherhood brings. As the dual identity of parent and climber becomes more common, we hope stories like Tracy's won't stand out.Tracy will always be a mom. But, she can also be a climber. She can hold one in each hand while we work to dismantle the notion that motherhood has to come at the price of one's identity—instead of being integrated as a part of it.The mental construct that ping pongs back and forth between being “good” or “bad” traps moms and parents in a place of “not-enoughness”, when the fact of the matter is: you are.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Addiction is the kind of topic where judgment is easy, and empathy is hard. Shame is at the core of addiction. It thrives best in secrecy when we feel most alone, and keeps stories like these hidden in the dark.Lucas spent years, bouncing and skidding off the bottom before sobriety. But you know what they say: every unconscionable low point has a silver lining. Before long-term recovery, you could find Lucas on the road climbing full-time. He was the guy who could wax poetic around a campfire about all types of beverages of any kind, any continent. While the conditions that preceded him to drink were probably always there, living out of his truck and reducing his life to just climbing and nature made him realize he was empty on a different level.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

This is Jess and Chelsea. They're both climbers, they both live in Colorado. They both love dogs, and they're forever inextricably tied together by these very common, uncomplicated things. They're also forever connected because of this one very complicated big thing.In September of 2020, the climbing community lost Kris Ugarizza to suicide. Three years later, we're sharing this story through the lens of two friends in order to promote more action and awareness on prevention.This podcast continues to work with Better Help to break down the stigma and persistent societal belief that mental health issues are a sign of weakness, and because everybody deserves a good support system, and sometimes that starts with one person. Go to betterhelp.com/climbing to find out more information about online therapy.If you're having a crisis or thoughts of suicide, call or text 988 to reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.If you or someone you know is struggling, help is here.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Amin has been climbing for over 23 years, starting in Shiraz, a historical city in Iran. In 2017, he moved to the U.S. to work as a head routesetter, and was shot in a senseless act of violence that critically injured him and shook friends and family to their core. The irony of growing up in the Islamic Republic of Iran and never being afraid of guns until he moved to America is...sobering.Today, Amin remains deeply engaged in advocacy for Iranian people, especially women. He believes the revolution is coming and is inspired by those who have put their lives on the line for change.This is part two of a two-part story.Visit GoFundMe.com/myshare4freedom to support those who have been directly affected during the Woman Life Freedom movement.Find Amin on Instagram at @amminabbasi for updates and more. Contact him if you're willing and able to further amplify the voice of the Woman Life Freedom movement.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Amin has been climbing for over 23 years, starting in Shiraz, a historical city in Iran. In 2017, he moved to the U.S. to work as a head routesetter, and was shot in a senseless act of violence that critically injured him and shook friends and family to their core. The irony of growing up in the Islamic Republic of Iran and never being afraid of guns until he moved to America is...sobering.Today, Amin remains deeply engaged in advocacy for Iranian people, especially women. He believes the revolution is coming and is inspired by those who have put their lives on the line for change.This is part one of a two-part story.Visit GoFundMe.com/myshare4freedom to support those who have been directly affected during the Woman Life Freedom movement.Find Amin on Instagram at @amminabbasi for updates and more. Contact him if you're willing and able to further amplify the voice of the Woman Life Freedom movement.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed. Additional music is licensed by Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

There are those who see grief as the final form of love—this one final act that we give to those we've lost. It's also been said that it's the price we pay for love, which is a funny way to look at it. But these two things unrelentingly go hand-in-hand.On September 2nd, 2021, Tara lost her dad to Covid. But…it's complicated. During that time, well-meaning folk comprised of climbers, liberal activists—even celebrities—condemned those who refused vaccination. Social media was filled with far-left and far-right criticism. Like we said—it's complicated.A year and a half after officially joining the Dead Dad Club, Tara sent one of her hardest multi-year climbing projects. But this story isn't really about that...well, sorta."Grief is an insurmountable pain. But at the same moment, I acknowledge that it is also a reflection of love. And while the mountains feel like they are falling over me, and the waves crashing into me, I can simultaneously understand that it is a result of such deep love. It is all love." - TKThis episode is in memory of James Reynvaan.***Content warning: This episode discusses adoption, briefly mentions suicide, and contains discussion about Native American Boarding Schools. Take care of yourselves while listening and reach out for help if you need it.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed and Blue Dot Sessions.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsThis podcast gets support from BetterHelp. Because therapy is for everyone.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Civil discourse is a dying art, a complex practice that takes patience and well-rounded perspective to really master. Asking folks to be brave enough to make their convictions vulnerable means really listening, for both sides—it's not a one-way street. Surrounding ourselves with like-minded people is important to build community, but it doesn't mean that we should build walls to ignore opposition. That's not change. On an individual level, through clear and kind conversation, it's more possible than we think.GOP lawmakers are working aggressively to limit trans rights and there's a surge of anti-trans bills at the state level ahead of 2024. Supporters of these bills have a narrow-minded view of who trans people are, and this misinformation and disinformation abet more uncertainty and fear.Lex speaks to the importance of needing more people who aren't in danger to speak up and push back on anti-trans narrative while working toward a future where trans and genderqueer joy is a given and equality, representation, and inclusion aren't just buzzwords, but a glance backward at a stagnant past.Change is coming. Change is here. And trans people are undeniably the currents of these crucial changes, and for each other.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. Sound effects by Jonathan Shaw.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: Better HelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Kids have a lot of questions when someone in their family is sick. But when you don't know to ask, certain things become the norm. In our parents' generation, bipolar disorder wasn't as widely talked about, nor given the compassionate treatment it deserves. Becca is changing that.Becca grew up with a dad who has bipolar disorder. She, herself, has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and her research exploring the effects of climbing on women with mental illness and trauma, and the ways it can be used to increase self-efficacy, resiliency, and locus of control is currently under academic review.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: Better HelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Welcome back to the podcast. I've always been a huge advocate of change, but not always the good kind. Usually the “shake the snow globe, throw caution to the wind” chaotic kind. Lorca from episode sixteen, season three, sporadically sends a newsletter which, as a person who hates all newsletters because they melt me down into an unproductive diatribe about marketers who clearly have no regard for CAN-SPAM laws—I love receiving this one. This week's newsletter subject line was “Resilience Loves…Change”:“People who want clearly are dangerous to the status quo. They are natural catalysts. Things will change around them.”Up next is our eleventh mini-episode which is comprised of audio you sent in, answering the question: “How did climbing change your life?”We're always taking audio submissions and pitches. Contact us through our submission form on fortheloveofclimbing.com, and tune in next Monday, April first, for the first episode of season six.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from deuter USA, Allez Outdoor, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Welcome back to the podcast. This is season five's final episode which may or may not be two months late, but what are deadlines if not social constructs that we build to plan and schedule our lives around? And sometimes, life blows the fuck up and you roll with the chaos and see where it takes you.Mason went from pro-climbing to no-climbing after a slow descent into the depths of his illness. In 2018, he was diagnosed with ME/CFS—a complex, debilitating, long-term medical condition.Living with invisible illness is a high-density experience. There are no breaks or days off. It's not like being on a big wall where you could bail or get to the top and have it be over. Mason learned on the proverbial “other side” that in climbing, you could never have the intensity of experiences you could with prolonged circumstances like being sick.You are deep in the shit, and that comes with a lot of big, often ugly, emotions. Maybe one of the hardest parts of this condition is knowing that remission isn't guaranteed. Healing from an incurable illness is exactly as unglamorous as it sounds, but Mason's Come Back Tour proceeds as scheduled.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Rebecca spent hours of her childhood, outside on her front lawn, catching caterpillars and fireflies. She was timid, liked to play alone, and was never one to venture off on her own to explore.Growing up, her mom's addiction to alcohol infected so much of her life, so she wrote a letter about it. Rebecca so thoughtfully describes alcoholism as feeling like she's losing someone, even though they're alive.Climbing became the thing that allowed Rebecca to challenge the idea of who she was, in order for her to see who she could become.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Additional music by Blue Dot Sessions and licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Lucho grew up in San Francisco's Mission District with the belief that the only way to survive his neighborhood was with the protection of a gang. So, he did the most logical thing: he joined a gang. Lucho started hanging out on street corners along the 24th St. Corridor and the next few years of his life were filled with gang fights, crime, and some really bad decisions.But finally, his mom intervened and an inner city kids wilderness backpacking trip led Lucho to rock climbing. He moved into his truck in Lee Vining just down from the Eastern Yosemite entrance and climbed with some guy named Cedar Wright.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Lucho grew up in San Francisco's Mission District with the belief that the only way to survive his neighborhood was with the protection of a gang. So, he did the most logical thing: he joined a gang. Lucho started hanging out on street corners along the 24th St. Corridor and the next few years of his life were filled with gang fights, crime, and some really bad decisions.But finally, his mom intervened and an inner city kids wilderness backpacking trip led Lucho to rock climbing. He moved into his truck in Lee Vining just down from the Eastern Yosemite entrance and climbed with some guy named Cedar Wright.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

If you Google “Katie Brown” on the internet, there's a Reddit thread called “What Ever Happened to Katie Brown?” and that's a valid question. Katie wasn't just a professional climber at the age of thirteen—she didn't just win the X Games at fourteen or onsight the northwest face of Half Dome or snag the first female free ascent of the Leaning Tower with Lynn Hill.She wrote a book! She wrote two books, in fact. She became a mom. She started healing her old wounds from childhood and left behind a dysfunctional religion and toxic relationships that consumed her childhood and adolescent years. She bartended, made some jewelry, and reclaimed her past in order to tell her story.Here it is.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

If you Google “Katie Brown” on the internet, there's a Reddit thread called “What Ever Happened to Katie Brown?” and that's a valid question. Katie wasn't just a professional climber at the age of thirteen—she didn't just win the X Games at fourteen or onsight the northwest face of Half Dome or snag the first female free ascent of the Leaning Tower with Lynn Hill.She wrote a book! She wrote two books, in fact. She became a mom. She started healing her old wounds from childhood and left behind a dysfunctional religion and toxic relationships that consumed her childhood and adolescent years. She bartended, made some jewelry, and reclaimed her past in order to tell her story.Here it is.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.FLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

The world of adaptive sports is changing, and quickly. Ronnie's disability hasn't held him back, but social stigmas that are still caught behind in outdated narratives can. And that's where change comes. It takes a community, and Ronnie asks himself every day how he can make a difference.. The answer is simple—one at a time.Prosthetic and Orthotic Associates of TennesseeInstagramFacebookFor the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Emily miscarried in March of 2021 and she struggled with how the experience felt so shameful. It was her job to keep him alive and growing, after all—right? Except, one of the worst parts about miscarriage is that it isn't caused by the action, behavior, or even body of the pregnant person in the majority of cases, but despite this information, there's still a lot of confusion and silence around this topic.“Mention the baby” is written all over the hashtags for miscarriage and pregnancy loss because ohmygosh—do people really think mothers-to-be have forgotten and they might somehow need a reminder? Emily's unborn son is always on her mind. Whenever someone says his name, her heart still rings with joy. Because so much of him *is* joy, and he brought more love than she knew possible. And now he's dead.To hide his memory would take away the last bit of what Emily has left of that love. So, Emily has made one request: mention the baby. Producer's note: This episode felt apropos in light of fifty years of a legally enshrined right to abortion in the United States brought to an end after the Supreme Court overturned its landmark ruling made in 1973. The loss of Roe vs. Wade means that millions of women across the U.S. no longer have their right to an abortion guaranteed by the constitution, and Emily's present and future career is impacted by this decision.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Kyle destigmatizes substance use and mental health by opening up about his own journey through recovery after a two-decade-long battle with drugs and alcohol that almost took his life in October of 2021.His fear of failure, fear of falling, and fear of inadequacy don't compare to the fear of not living a full life. Kyle's path to being substance-free embraces some of fear's corresponding counterparts—joy, success, the exhilaration of free-fall, and the inner sanctum of the non-comparative derivation of self-worth.Addiction…is a public health crisis. Just about any behavior or stimulus can go from well-adapted and functional to maladaptive and dysfunctional, but the more that we bring it into public discussion, the more that people can feel like they can support each other and talk about it openly, and not act like it's this *thing* that we have to hide.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron.

Savannah lived in a truck for a year in an attempt to pursue a career in adventure photography. She learned that the privilege to electively suffer still comes at a cost. It didn't give her more time with her aunt, but it did give her the ability to bloom with a new season, to grow big enough to hold both love and grief simultaneously. Because grief, at its deepest core, is an act of love itself.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, Ocún, and the Southern Utah Wilderness Alliance (SUWA).Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Dan always knew he was different growing up, but he didn't have a name for it. Growing up gay in rural America shaped the way he moved through the world, and it led him to believe that the outdoors wasn't a safe place for him.This podcast unequivocally supports the LGBTQIA community. Episode thirty-eight discusses suicide and depression. If you're struggling with mental health, please check out the show notes for more resources at fortheloveofclimbing.com, and take care of yourselves while listening.This month through July 4th, use code LOVECLIMBING-20 at checkout for 20% off Deuter's Guide Series packs. Deuter is one of the leading backpack brands that has been supporting this podcast from day one. For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Pam didn't have a lot of tragedy in her life, so she didn't know about the arc. And as a grieving person, it was hard to look forward to anything, especially on top of the pandemic. But the world started opening up again, and she and her husband Jim rode 1,300 miles self-supported from the coast of Oregon to Montana last summer. When Jim started not feeling well, they decided to return home to California.And it was almost like she had a little bump, so she was devastated when they had to come back. It felt dark and isolated, and Pam realized—she didn't totally have it nailed.Pam knows about the arc, now. She knows that she has to build a future with things to look forward to and that give her purpose, if only to help her to not feel sad. And it might be like this for the rest of her life, so she takes the good when she receives it and doesn't expect it to last. But when she's stuck in a moment, she recognizes that it's only a moment and to hold fast—that all storms pass.Episode 37 is in loving memory of Brad Gobright, & in dedication to Pam, Jim, and Jill. We love you.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Music is by Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlightsTherapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Hope isn't perpetual optimism. It's an inherent part of being human that requires determination for things to change for the better. We're back this May with ten new stories from climbers about what hope means to them. Because life can be full of sucker punches, but that doesn't mean you stop breathing. In fact, the whole point is that you get up, learn something, pass on whatever slice of happiness or nugget of wisdom to others, and move forward. Because there's always hope on the other side.This is not a climbing podcast. It's a funny, sad, and mostly uncomfortable podcast about the healing that takes place when we talk openly about our pain and being the most human we can be, which doesn't always mean our best (or shiniest).Producer's notes: we got a 2022 glow-up and Alex Johnson partially sings Celine Dion's “It's All Coming Back to Me Now”.For the Love of Climbing is presented by Patagonia. Additional support is from Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and Ocún.Music is licensed by Music Bed.Cover art by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Catch up on podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things: @inheadlights.Therapy is for everyone: BetterHelpFLC is public media which means we're supported by listeners like you. Donate or become a patron in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Climbing can be, er, kinda selfish. We go up, we go down—and then we do it all over again. It's also where Oliver and Alyssa's interests diverge. For some, that's a dealbreaker. Is this lifestyle sport so unique that it's the be-all-end-all for relationships? Maybe. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. Additional music is licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Humans are capable of acts of such bravery but also, acts of such cowardice from one moment to the next. And of course, sometimes we're going to do terrible things—and sometimes, we're going to do amazing and beautiful things. Ethan knows that sending near our limit is so beautiful because we've addressed some of this and shed some of our baggage, or we're just fighting tooth and nail to get to the top. And it can be ugly and gut-wrenching—but that's kind of beautiful, too.For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Dreams don't just fall into our heads out of nowhere. They're cultivated and built from passionate ideas. Big dreamers know that they don't happen immediately—they require patience, self-compassion, and above all, the courage to pursue them, regardless of the odds.Debbie credits her resilience to her childhood struggles in Catalonia and learned that sometimes, you have to travel to the other side of the world to discover what moves you the most.For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

This is one transgender climber's story. And it's hard to sum up in just a few sentences not just Lor's identity, but the human being that they are. The impact that they're having on our community in a meaningful way, and how it's growing because of it. Just by simply existing.This is part two of a two-part story.For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Lor had to decide. They could go on hating themself, or could be a part of making the world a place that was more healed—and that started with healing themself.This is one transgender climber's story. And it's hard to sum up in just a few sentences not just Lor's identity, but the human being that they are. The impact that they're having on our community in a meaningful way, and how it's growing because of it. Just by simply existing.This is part one of a two-part story.For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, and presented by Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

There's a paradoxical effect of drinking—the depressant qualities of booze and how it makes us feel the next day. I mean, physically. Some people can party like it's 1999 and wake up the next day and smash their hardest routes or ski Black Diamonds—most don't. What role does excessive boozing in a community of athletes play? And let's be really clear—this isn't just the outdoor industry and trade show happy hours. It's not about climbing culture or the river or ski or mountain biking community, or even the outdoor community at large.America has a drinking problem, and Ari's story isn't unique. It prompts us to ask the question of why we're drinking in the first place—is it coping or conviviality?For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia.Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. Additional music licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode.Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane.Read the transcript here.Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things.Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Phillip Schaal, “The Prince P”, died in 2016 after a severe reaction to a suspicious drug overdose, as told by his mother Eloise. At 35 years old, Phillip was an elite rock climber and one of the world's best boulderers at the time. Francois Lebeau described Phillip as an “underground machine”. “Quiet and humble”, Phillip was always doing his own thing and “shied away from the media limelight”. Phillip's story is told through Eloise's lens and experience. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, Vibram, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Chad Crouch. “Dreamers for Elisa” by Caro C. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

All of Cat's things (you know, his *stuff*—his beliefs and interests and passions) can account for his identity—but only one part. We're increasingly pressured to parcel ourselves up in various social contexts, but identity is complex. It's this complicated, biological pizza and we show different slices of ourselves at different times.   Cat navigates his transgender identity by indulging in his community to connect with stories that go beyond his own. Being transgender is just another way of being human, and the beauty within that is that it can mean whatever you want it to mean.   For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch and Skyler Kergil for creating absolute magic, and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

In 2017, a forty-foot fall broke Brittany's L1 vertebrae, sending a piece of bone into her spinal cord. She describes it as one of those surreal dreams where you wake up and think, “Thank God—that wasn't me standing in my underwear in front of the entire classroom. It wasn't real.” Except, after she woke up—shit got real. Brittany has been gritting her way through life long before her accident. Most people run from a past like Brittany's. But after falling forty feet, Brittany didn't have that option. Despite her disability, she's held fast—and what Brittany soon found was a community within para-climbing. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

On April 16th, 2019, elite climbers Jess Roskelley, David Lama, and Hansjörg Auer lost their lives in an avalanche climbing Howse Peak in Alberta’s BANFF National Park. The margin of error for alpinism is unnervingly thin, and the truth of it all is that you are not in control—the mountain is. And it took losing Jordan’s brother, Jess, to learn this unforgiving lesson. "And even when I was close to defeat, I rose to my feet, my life a soundtrack, I rose to the beat." -Dr. Dre This episode is in honor of Jess Roskelley and the Roskelley family, David Lama, and Hansjörg Auer. For the Love of Climbing is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and presented by Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling. Donate to and learn more about the Jess Roskelley Foundation here.

Cedar, who was named after a tree, has achieved a lot in her almost-decade of being alive—she has a podcast, she’s sort of a Do-It-Yourself queen, an accomplished video game champion (thanks to Covid), and she likes a lot of, you know, normal kid stuff—not including getting a liver transplant at the age of five.   Cedar has something called Progressive Familial Intrahepatic Cholestasis, otherwise known as PFIC 2. This devastating genetic disorder affects 1 in 50,000 to 1 in 100,000 live births and, if untreated, can be fatal by the age of twenty. Visit pfic.org for more information. This mini-episode is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. Additional music licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Additional sound effects from zapsplat.com. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

How do you measure something that definitively changes your life forever—whether it be for better or worse? Like, what kind of metrics are we supposed to be using for that kinda thing? Is the entire idea of “change” just an arbitrary construct, something that we make up to make ourselves feel better? Since the start of the pandemic, life has been nothing but change. So, we thought it was a good time to ask folks how climbing changed their lives, and was it really for the better? Not to get all existential on you—because, you know, we’re not *that* kind of podcast. This mini-episode is brought to you by Deuter USA, Gnarly Nutrition, Allez Outdoors, First Ascent Coffee, and Patagonia. Music by: Kakurenbo and Podington Bear. Additional music licensed by Music Bed. A HUGE thank you to Chad Crouch for creating absolute magic and to Peter Darmi for mixing this episode. Cover photo by Kika MacFarlane. Read the transcript here. Follow us on Instagram for podcast (pod-Kath?) updates and general life things. Support us on Patreon in exchange for a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Last September, North Bennett sent me a personal essay and told me that he thought it wasn’t send-y enough for most sports publications, but also a little too climb-y for others. And—that’s where we come in. As it turns out, it was actually *just* the sort of story that we’d share on this podcast. “A Knot like Infinity” is putatively about seeking romance on Tinder and climbing with friends, but really takes on the topics of self-image, self-representation, and the value of friendship.   For all you lovers and Tinder-users out there, this one's for you.

Just shy of twenty 5.12 free solos, Austin Howell had climbed nineteen unique routes without a rope—one of them without shoes and butt ass naked. In 2019, Austin died free soloing in Linville Gorge, North Carolina. His love for climbing is hard to capture with words alone, so we flew to Minnesota in the summer of 2019 to borrow some of Susan’s. Austin's story is complicated, but as the pendulum in life swings both ways, he embraced both its highs and lows and especially reveled in the joy that free soloing brought him.

Jack used to do all the things, like surfing and jiu jitsu. But an incomplete spinal cord injury in 2018 changed his plans indefinitely. What’s a little neck fracture at C4 and C5, right? It still hasn’t slowed him down and his accident unknowingly gave him the foundation for understanding risk and its counterpart, the consequences of rock climbing.

Moonlight Buttress is one of the most classic test pieces for hard climbing in North America, and on March 9th, 2016, Eric was working on linking the crux moves with the hope of free climbing it later that year when he fell from the upper pitches to his death. Eric Klimt was an accomplished climber and a teacher. He was a lover of mathematics, a pilot, and deeply passionate about adventure—and he loved climbing because he loved the freedom of it.   This is just one part of Eric’s story, and we tell it through the lens of our friend, Hayley. This is also a story about the stereotypes of gender and emotional expression, the importance of self-love, and the trajectory of grief.   Hayley believes that everything happens for a reason, and even though it can be hard to see that when you’re in the middle of grief, the good stuff is there. Silver linings don’t always look so shiny when you’re stuck inside of a raincloud, but it never rains forever, the sun eventually comes back out, and we aren’t as alone as we think. This is just one part of Eric’s story, who played a huge part in Hayley’s life.   This episode is in dedication to the Klimt family and to Eric. Thank you for the larger-than-life adventures and for filling the world with and light in the short time that you were with us. “May your soul be free, and the view be breathtaking.”

Body positivity isn’t about “fat” versus “skinny”, despite barrages of criticism from armchair philosophers who believe that this movement has further fueled an “obesity epidemic”. The body positivity movement IS about feeling comfortable in the skin you’re in now, at this very moment. Women are tenaciously shattering old and tired stereotypes by opening up about their relationships with food, showing off stretch marks, and embracing cellulite. And it’s not just a women’s issue, but where do men stand in this movement?   Lack of conversation about male body-inclusivity stems from a stigma where men learn from childhood that emotion and vulnerability equate to weakness. But the more we invite men to the table to have conversations about self-love and male body concept, the more the foundation of toxic masculinity will crumble and allow men to acknowledge their self-worth.   This movement is for every body—and you can come as you are.

Do you know the difference between shame and guilt? Because this episode is about that—and the link between addiction and shame. Addiction is a need-hate relationship. It can be a terrible secret, it can frame the very shape of your life. It’s the white noise behind many lives, and everyone’s experience with it is unique. For those who suffer from addiction, there’s a steep price to pay. Sarah learned what that price was.   And yes, I’m going to quote Brené Brown again: “Shame can’t be felt by those without a capacity for empathy. Those who feel shame have the power to control it.”   Empathy is the antidote to shame.

Racism in science is real. Racism in academia is real. Racism in rock climbing is, yes, really real. Throughout America’s history, hallmarks of our democracy have been largely reserved for cis white people through intentional exclusion of BIPOC people. Connie and Kai Lightner call attention to the role of race and how racism in the outdoor industry, public and private institutions still disproportionately segregates and oppresses Black people in 2020.   In the midst of a revolution and pandemic, things have felt pretty bleak to a lot of people. Go get some vitamin D and your headphones, and listen to episode 19 with the Lightners who remind us of the importance of elevating diversity in our outdoors and the possibility of radical hope. The quote goes something like: “There is a light at the end of the tunnel, but the way out is through.”

Going through a traumatic experience is kind of like putting your life through a sieve. Certain things and people will inevitably fall away, but what’s leftover is what’s important and what stays. In 2009, Kareemah was diagnosed with cancer and underwent an amputation on her left leg below the knee. Three years later, she founded Adaptive Climbing Group. This episode is about strength in visibility and what happens when the narrative shifts from; “you don’t belong here” to “you belong here, you exist, and you matter”.

If you’ve been paying attention to the news, there has been a lot of heavy discussion around the exorbitant amount of atrocities committed against people of color. This is what we know: Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor and George Floyd are victims of three separate crimes against black people and that they’re not the only ones. These cases have raised a lot of questions about racial profiling. Millions of people are affected by racial bias every day—but especially people from the black community. And it’s causing black people to ask allies to do better.   Where do we begin to unpack this? It’s really complicated and heavy and so deep-seated within our society, and even ourselves. Brandon Belcher and I sat down last November and this conversation that you’re about to lean into needs and deserves to be heard. Not just by the climbing community, but by the world at large. We still have a lot of work to do, and that work begins by listening to one another—especially to those who have the least power in society. Healing begins by listening to those voices and their stories. Also, Mikey Schaefer makes a quick cameo—how random is that!   This episode is in dedication to Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and every single black life that deserves to be celebrated, today and all days. #blacklivesmatter

You know when you end your season early and don’t tell anybody at all? Yeah, hi. Sorry, guys! Life got a little crazy there for a second! But not because of COVID. Well, sorta because of COVID. Ok, mostly because of COVID.   On May 12, 1986, students and teachers from the Oregon Episcopal School Basecamp Program set off to climb Mt. Hood. Three days later, nine of the climbers would die in what’s known as the second deadliest alpine accident in North American history. At age sixteen, Lorca Smetana survived the 1986 Mount Hood Tragedy and has transformed a series of painful experiences into a life of resilience and leadership. Is this the Brené Brown episode of climbing podcasts? Maybe. Welcome back to season three.

We’ll be back on April 1st with two new full episodes. Until then, enjoy two mini-episodes today and on March 1st while I try to do things like not burn a film festival into the ground (just kidding...I think!) and if you’re in Denver, Colorado March 5th through 8th, come out to the No Man's Land Film Festival Annual Flagship event for four days of films, workshops and guest speakers. This mini-episode is comprised of episode ten with Corey Mowery, which if you haven’t listened to yet, we highly recommend. Also, who is this “we” I keep referring to?

We’ll be back on April 1st with two new full episodes. Until then, enjoy two mini-episodes today and on March 1st while I try to do things like not burn a film festival into the ground (just kidding...I think!) and if you’re in Denver, Colorado March 5th through 8th, come out to the No Man's Land Film Festival Annual Flagship event for four days of films, workshops and guest speakers. This mini-episode is comprised of episode ten with Corey Mowery, which if you haven’t listened to yet, we highly recommend. Also, who is this “we” I keep referring to?

When you go on a climbing trip, everybody thinks it’s a vacation. And you can’t get PTSD from a vacation, right? Except that a winter in the Himalaya nearly destroyed Ian. He survived unroped crevasse falls, an avalanche, bivouacs in negative forty-degree weather, high altitude cerebral edema, Hepatitis A, an earthquake, oh—and also, nearly being eaten alive by fleas. When he returned to the states, he couldn’t cope with society and suffered from severe depression and PTSD.

To know Savannah was to love her. Nina and Court loved Savannah to the ends of the earth, and her unexpected death forever changed the climbing community. In their love and grief, Savannah’s parents turned everything that she was into purpose. Savannah left the world with a legacy of love, joy, and gratitude. Introduction by the lovely Chelsea Rude.

Grief is the one human experience that we all have in common, but there are no words for losing a child. Savannah Buik was 22 years old when she died in a climbing accident at Devil’s Lake in Wisconsin. Nina and Court saw both sides of the pendulum: how the stronger and deeper we love, the harder it is to overcome the pain on the other side. This is part one of a two-part story. Savannah was a passionate advocate for eating disorder recovery and pushed for more open dialogue about mental health topics and worked to help end the stigma that surrounds EDs by speaking out against them. Savannah credited climbing for helping her overcome her eating disorder, and she dedicated herself to healing others. #donutsforsavvy  

Life is full of interruptions we’re rarely ready for, so the more doctors tried to convince Hans how serious his condition was, the more he denied it. Because, one minute you’re doing things like remodeling your apartment and riding your bike a hundred miles, and the next—the possibility of redoing your apartment and riding a bicycle is suddenly gone. We most commonly associate grief with death, but what about the softer versions of grief? Like, grieving the loss of a relationship or an old life, or maybe a kidney?