It Is Complicated

Dr J, Josephine and CN Lester discuss their multi-hyphenate, portfolio working lives. Even for those with salaried jobs, there is always the side gig (or two or three) and projects. Performers, academics, scientists, consultants, photographers, authors - there is not a single role that defines them.This was recorded in March 2023 - since then - Josephine's book is available at Where it all started Novel , and CN Lester short story is out in the anthology Furies: Stories of the Wicked, Wild and Untamed - Dr J is still writing their first book proposalhttps://whereitallstartednovel.com/https://burleyfisherbooks.com/products/9780349017167 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode comes with a content warning - it is dark! Some of the darker places ended up on the cutting room floor, and it is still dark. Be safe when you listen to this.An apology to Brianna Ghey and her family. Dr J managed to mispronounce their surname all the way through. We picked this up in the final edit. In this episode we tackle the level of transphobia that is now so entrenched in our society that people with privilege can make a jibe about it within parliament. We talk about the impact of this upon us personally, and as a group. We do our best to bring our usual sense, humour and compassion to this conversation. We approach the impacts and arrive at a resolution.It is by advocacy for ourselves and others like us, that we can get through this.We also end up with an usual Breathtaking rant from Dr J - who has a Billy Joel obsession going on right now, as well the Muppets - Tenderly!Muppets - Dr Teeth & the electric mayhem - TenderlyWe have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 60 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicated - your subscriptions help us pay our guests for their timeGive us feedback - get in touch on Patreon as social media is a trash fire - we'd love to connect with you - or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the fifth in our Queer Voices series we talk with Samantha Béart, actor, currently known for playing Karlach in Baldur's Gate 3. We talked about how games and performances and performing in and for games, allowed us to explore, examine and find ourselves.We get into the ways games have allowed us to understand the world and ourselves, the joy of the “Fuck around and Find out” nature of some games, how trauma can be understood within a game. How games can take us deeper and into places we didn't expect allowing us to explore and have positive experiences. There are some gigantic nerd theory moments.Links we talk about:Where it all started: https://whereitallstartednovel.com/Paragraph 175 - film about homosexuality in German controlled regions in WW2: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paragraph_175_(film)The Ukie census of the Games Industry - https://ukie.org.uk/UK-games-industry-census-2020Karlach isn't a good girl blog post - https://www.tumblr.com/sailorgundam308/731617898834034688/karlach-isnt-a-good-girlFrom Queer to Eternity podcast - https://play.acast.com/s/from-queer-to-eternity/samanthabeart - which is almost 'Part 1' of this conversationWe have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 59 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - get in touch on Patreon as social media is a trash fire - we'd love to connect with you about routine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the fourth in our Queer Voices series we talk with Laura Kate Dale, games journalist, author, and accessibility consultant. We started on how some of our narratives are routed in negativity, and how that can be turned into talking about Joy and Euphoria, small or large.This leads into us talking about how the little things can fight back against the system every day, challenging how we see our own lives. We can overlook the small joys, taking them for granted, ignoring the heart sing moments. We can be proud of ourselves in the small moments and in the big moments, and we have our narratives that are outside of the normative view of the world.Our special interests this week are trains, train data, weddings and Baldurs Gate 3. Find Laura Kate Dale here: https://laurakbuzz.com/Get Stories of Autistic Joy here: https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/stories-of-autistic-joy-laura-kate-dale/7460206?ean=9781839978098 in the UK and https://us.jkp.com/products/stories-of-autistic-joy for other countriesWe have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 58 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - get in touch on Patreon as social media is a trash fire - we'd love to connect with you about routine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the third in our Queer Voices series we talk with novelist, poet and performer Rosie Garland. We set off talking about what we all have on (and sadly some of the opportunities to see Rosie are now in the past due to our slowness to release this due to 2023). We talk about performing and writing.We move onto what feeds us, the activities that we do every day, or maybe only sometimes, that feed our souls and hearts and minds. They keep us going, the routines that are concrete and quantifiable things we do.When we are busy, when we are doing “too much`', when we do it right, we are doing things that feed us and make us feel as ourselves and help us carry on. What feeds our souls is important and necessary.We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 57 TranscriptRosie Garland - http://www.rosiegarland.com/Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - get in touch on Patreon as social media is a trash fire - we'd love to connect with you about your use of routine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a special episode where we have Dr J on the Mind the Product podcast - https://www.mindtheproduct.com/business-analysts-in-product-dr-j-harrison/ Dr J also talks about 2023 and why they haven't had a chance to watch any Keanu Reeves recenltyWe have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special Complicated Complicated TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - Our Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform - We are both on Insta - https://www.instagram.com/drjharrison/ and https://www.instagram.com/josephineabaird/ or find Dr J on Threads - https://www.threads.net/@drjharrison Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Released on Trans Day Of Visibility.This episode we talk about the way you can tell if a space is safe, the flags we see, both green and red, how they can co-exist, and that we can spot duplicity and performative actions. We also talk about being here - for each other. That simple notion of being here, as someone to talk to, as someone to step up, as someone who takes the blows so you don't. Our being here is winning, we are hope, bruised and bloodied, running back into the battle!That video from Matt Ricardo - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=637OvuxB_bY&t=3s&ab_channel=MatRicardoCorrection - Dr J thinks Richard Grint played Ron Weasley, we all know it's Rupert Grint. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 56 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're left twitter - we are sometimes on Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the second in our Queer Voices series we talk with Dr Joe Parslow - Lecturer in Popular and Queer Performance and Hashtag Doctor Husband Boyfriend Joe - about drag and queer performance, breathing and togetherness - and the complications around making space and getting to breathe in those spaces. The queer notion of breathing together, coming together, and aspiration. Reflecting energy between the performers and the audience. How this connects us all in the space.We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 55 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - and Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. We are talking to a room of mostly students. The event focussed on Queer Joy.This is the third part of a three part recording.We have done our best with the recording to clean up the sound during this last part of the panel discussion.This was recorded for the Hear & Queer Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@hearqueer5656 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special 3 eNBy City TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - and Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. We are talking to a room of mostly students. The event focussed on Queer Joy. This is the second part of a three part recording. Be aware about half way through we pulled the recording equipment apart - and it means the audio quality drops - I've done my best to equalise it and improve it - malaki and myself still have a pretty much working mic, Haz, Lilly and the audience have a mic that isn't working so well This was recorded for the Hear & Queer Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@hearqueer5656 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special 2 eNBy City Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - and Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a special episode of a panel discussion recorded at eNBy City with Dr J, malakai, Haz and Lilly. The event focussed on Queer Joy. This is the first part of a two (or more) part recording. This was recorded for the Hear & Queer Podcast - https://www.youtube.com/@hearqueer5656 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Special eNBy City Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - and Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

When asked the question “where do you want to be in ten years?” we break down - why? We spend so much time surviving, how do we then look towards a future? Our futures we see are not chrononormative, and we often step outside of the standard expectations.How do we see ambition, and its link to opportunity? Can you be ambitious when you can't believe you can achieve it? What does ambition mean when you always think you won't have another chance to have a job? What does it mean when you have been knocked back consistently? When opportunity is there and we don't have the drive, or ambition, what does that mean? Is it about our difference? Our lack of linear progression? What does mainstream ambition mean when you're non-normative? Does being trans and non-binary impact on our desire for mainstream success? How does this impact on us in the workplace? In job interviews? Does a company seeing a place for us make a difference? We then get into the breathtaking nature of Keanu Reeves in Cyberpunk 2077, voice acting, the tall stompy lady, and storytelling in games. We mention:Cyberpunk 2077Resident Evil VillageThomas was aloneHugwave (from itch.io) We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 54 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd and Mastodon - https://ohai.social/@itiscomplicated- or leave us a rating or a review on your favourite podcast platform Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the first in our Queer Voices series we talk with queer legend, writer and performer Kate Bornstein. We set off talking about Hope, flow through ideas of gender expression and authenticity, the nature of being authentic. If Hope and Fear are a binary, or can co-exist in a moment. We enter the realms of superheroes and secret identities, why Batman is an Elon Musk wank fantasy, and why Neil Gaiman's Endless are perfection as a theology to lean into. We land on queer joy as the connected reflections of our authentic selves, making our hearts sing! Queer joy may also have a Freddie Mercury moustache and a purple leopard print corset and heels! We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 53 Transcript Your Get out of Hell free card GetOutofHellFree.jpeg Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about queer hope and authenticity Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back in a rare in the room together recording - We touch on the last six months for both of us - covid features prominently, as does fatigue and mental health. Talking about plans, having one, and ambition, or appearing not to have some. Why we want to keep doing this podcast and what plans we have into 2025. How does it feel to have a three year plan? Well as queers, this is .. complicated. We made 50+ episodes without any real plan - so why do we think we need one? We want to be a “good” podcast - and we talk about what “good” means. The plan then - includes a series called “Queer Voices”.J explains this in a non-linear musing on “Only an Octave apart” and how Mx Justin Vivian Bond and Anthony Ross Costanzo's voices blend and bring deeper meanings to the songs they duet. What happens when Queers are given space to give voice and starting to open that conversation and give space for that conversation to talk about what a queer voice is and what it means to have a queer voice and how those queer voices can change some of the meanings of what we're listening to. We get deeper into this. We end on, as always, the breathtaking nature of Keanu Reeves. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 52 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about being present. Our GDPR privacy policy was updated on August 8, 2022. Visit acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well 2022 has been a right nightmare already!! This time we talk (in Dr J's case very excitedly) about the words we need to hear and what it means to hear them. Dr J has four things they always wanted to hear - and by saying them to another person - they get to also hear them for themselves:- I am proud of you- I love you- I think you are an amazing person- I can't wait to see your brilliant future Josephine reflects what it means to hear these things - especially when you are struggling with recovery from post-covid fatigue and trying to work full time, teaching, write a PhD, have a life with her partner and child, and editing this podcast. Spending all their spare energy worrying about what they have not been able to do they needed to hear that they are worth spending energy on. We are resilient and powerful and have coping mechanisms that protect us. Our hypercritical voice overwhelms the outside voices and the negative voice grinds you down, and you get exhausted and they gain more power.Coping mechanisms include shedding the skins of old selves, old ways of coping, and putting these aside and looking at what behaviours we do now. In the past help was not there, and we needed to get through, so we found ways. High standards and hypervigilance got us here, and might not be what gets us through now. We feel stressed and worried, our brain isolates us further and we forget we are not alone. We loose our connection with external voices and our ability to hear and engage with them. When we reach out, connect and are heard it is powerful. We start to connect to reality, we heal, and we get into better spaces.We want to tell you lovely young queers - hey, it sucks, and I'm sorry you have to cope the way you are right now. I really do hope you find yourself in a position where you don't have to cope with everything. It's not about you, it's about the culture and structures you are in, and your response to that is normal and natural. I am very proud of you, I am very excited to see what you do, and you are loved. And you are an amazing person.Dr J then raves about the wonderful “Hello cruel world” by Kate Bornstein https://g.co/kgs/m2fsSp - and will send you a copy if you need it if you DM them on Twitter. Earnestly expressing this, our want to make the world better for everyone is a good thing. Being there for you and for each other makes us feel really lovely things!Note: There are some sound issues with Josephine's recording - we decided the emotional content of the episode was worth putting out even if the sound wasn't up to our standards. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 51 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about being present. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This time we celebrate creating 50 podcast episodes - or 51, or 52 depending on how you count. We are excited about this - and there are moments when Dr J is obviously super excited. Josephine maintains some sort of dignity. When we started the podcast we were both locked down in our spaces without structure from our day jobs (Dr J was furloughed, Josephine was between work), and 18 months later we are still in the same rooms, having conversations, and quite different lives in some ways. In others not much has changed. The isolation, exacerbated by our queerness, leaves us reaching out for others like us, and reflections of ourselves in media. This is why making space, and taking up space, in TikTok, in podcasts, and in the world is so important.We then move onto a long and excited discussion on Matrix Resurrection - and the breathtaking Keanu Reeves (and Carrie-Ann Moss) and what we thought about the film. Links: The Matrix Sequels are good, actually - https://youtu.be/M0VnYcMHuDc We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 50 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about being present. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being in the room and taking up space is difficult. It takes a lifetime to believe that we should be in *this* room having *this* conversation, having self faith, self belief and humility is a challenge. Saying “I am here” is the hardest thing.It is simply correct that it is this way - I am here is sufficient. It is right that I am included. Lack of self belief is a structural problem - there are those (Cis white men with a posh accent) who are assumed to belong, speak, take up space. It is not everyone who gets included by default. We are read when we go into those environments, how you walk in, how you talk, is all used to make judgments about the value placed on your words. “I am here, I am present, I am listening” - I am taking up space - how you read me, how you react to my presence in this space has nothing to do with me. That is a huge mind shift, removing that apology, those moments of dissonance, which reduce ourselves in the presence of structure.Josephine goes on a rant/reflection from a talk on glamour from the Knutepunkt conference from Erik Winther Paisley (@ewpaisley) - which drives us into talking about how we can use the skills we have to boost our confidence and our feeling of correctness when we are here. We talk about the things we do to build that belief in ourselves that it is correct we are here. We share our tactics and how we build each other and ourselves up.We also talk about how breathtaking Keanu Reeves is and why J has watched the Matrix Resurrections trailer many many times. Josephine presses “X” to doubt. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 49 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about being present. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Performance changes your life, it changes how you think about things, it changes how you feel about yourself. This is a favourite theory of Dr J's, and in our case it is true. We met over performance, we found ourselves and identity through performance, and we find ourselves and our experiences reflected in performance. We tell the tale of workshopping J's gender identity, and how that came about. How performance built on ideas and conversations, allowing an identity to form. We talk about the way characters are built (if we like to perform them) and why we sometimes are a character and sometimes not. We discover there are times when a performance reflects back a view of themselves to the audience, and you get this amazing, near spiritual moment of psychosocial experience within the room. We also talk about how breathtaking Keanu Reeves is in a particularly dreadful film - River's Edge - and Content Warning - cover the plot and how that is still sadly reflective of society today. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 48 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about performance. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

This week we cover two topics - Working full time and creating a podcast, and the movie Constantine starring Keanu Reeves. We have gone from a time when we had less restrictions on our time (lockdown, combined with furlough/unemployment was good for podcasting) and we both now have very full on full time jobs, one of us has a partner, and a child they want to spend time with, the other has houseplants. We both have mental health to take care of (does this year ever give up throwing shite around?), and like to spend some time for ourselves. We are making a great podcast - we've created a brilliant thing here and want to find a sustainable way to keep doing this. We want this podcast to continue to be high quality, in content and in sound quality. So we have decided to go for a twice a month podcast release. This we believe is sustainable and gives us time for life and self care and great podcasting. We recorded this discussion - so we are reminded when we are at our lowest, that this isn't personal, it is systemic, our reactions is personal - and this is a good decision for us. It also means J get's time to watch movies - and is currently re-watching all of Keanu Reeve's output. They recently saw Constantine - and have some … feelings … about the movie. Just how much? There's a 15 minute rant about the movie, and this is the abbreviated version. While Keanu is breathtaking there is some … cognitive dissonance… for someone who is a fan of the Jamie Delano Hellblazer stories and what they tell us about Good and Evil and life and politics. This gets a little loud at times.As always we launch into ideas - the banality of good and evil and the notions of redemption - how we can make a more equal society. Tldr; Constantine terrible movie, great conversation We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 47 TranscriptOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about scheduling and Constantine the movie See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Based on a listener request for a discussion on working from home in the current culture environment from a perspective that is not a middle class straight white cis man - we touch on the advantages we have as queers that's made this easier, and what advantages that others within our community might not have. We cover the way work has changed, and how output in academia has increased but only by men (are you surprised? We weren't). Having more than one job is normal for most minority groups, including women. Housework and childcare is work, and who does it makes a difference. Work is not just the day job, it's also the side hustle, the fun job, the extra things we do (like podcasts) - and that impacts our space. Does work become a liminal notion mixing public and private spaces?How much more inclusive have we been able to be? We both have the huge advantage of having work that can be done remotely, and our experience is not universal. Is a commute and an office still desired? Are we building a huge technological divide. Tackling this through a queer, non-normative, lens shows the advantages and disadvantages that impact us all. There is no “normal” office to return to. We have a transcript for this episode -IIC Episode 46 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about working from home. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

How did covid change how we do this politeness thing? Is there queer etiquette? What happens when we rub against people's expectations when we state our boundaries? Is our queer etiquette a reaction to the hypocrisy of the middle-class “polite”? How can we be respectful, equitable, and inclusive? What is the height of “good manners”? Is making people comfortable where we should be aiming? Is respect where this aims for? We touch on how crossing countries can mean crossing class, and how that can change how we are read, and how we can be masked, and unmasked. Some of it we learn, some of it we gain as an advantage without any effort. When we approach this playfully and performatively is this our “sweet spot”? It might not actually be that complicated - Be Kind, Be respectful, and use Lovely. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 45 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about etiquette. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Recorded during Pride Month, when everything has a rainbow slapped on it, what is allyship? When is it performative? What is the context that Allyship can happen within?When does the allyship have an investment? When is it solidarity? When will people stand between their LGBTQ+ employees and harm? How can we tell the difference? Is there a macro level and a micro level set of actions? Can we always tell which it is? Seeing our sense of self used as a marketing tool by some can be soul destroying. It is about having a solidarity mindset, putting the investment in - and we can tell. Have more than Diversity/Equity/Inclusion group make a comment. Queers are for everyday and not just for gay Christmas.Dr J's writing about their experience with Thoughtworks - “I am here” is one of the most profound statements that can be made around Pride We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 44 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about what upbeat can feel like. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being upbeat is complicated - when is the smiling face a mask? In the face of a continuing pandemic and life doing it's worst, we discuss being upbeat, having humour about the situation. How do we engage in a non-cynical way when we have this rolling anger underneath it all? Is our humour and positivity good for us, and for those around us? Should we let our anger show more clearly? We are angry and positive at the same time. Is our optimism in spite of it all a sign of us being non-normative?It is OK to be positive. It is OK not to be OK. It is OK to be angry. It is OK to imagine a world where we queers are winning as the glittery cockroaches we are! It is OK to have all of these at the same time!Anger can be ridiculous. How can we use kindness and positivity when we react against the anger and frustration, and look at how we can change the world for the better?Being queer can be detrimental to your well being and there are some days “when you just can't”. There should be no pressure to be happy or positive. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 43 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we're on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we'd love to connect with you about what being upbeat can feel like. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Lockdown easing is complicated - what is this normal we will return to? One of us has had a second vaccine and can stop shielding - and now we can think about what this means for us and how this is impacting on our mental health. It is more complicated than you’d first think - when we talk about “returning to normal” what does that mean when “normal” wasn’t a good place for us? What social inequalities are highlighted in this conversation - who are we ignoring in our “return to normal” conversation? How can we tackle the capitalist hegemony? What superpowers do we have as queers that make us special, that make us able to see the world differently and able to challenge the “normal”. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 42 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about what lockdown easing means for you. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Imposter Syndrome is complicated - if I had cis white straight man confidence I would.. We talk about the impact of imposter syndrome on queers. The extra layers that we deal with at times - when you’ve been told by a culture that you’re not good enough, that you’re somewhat suspect - how do we start to enter more normative spaces? We give examples of how we overcome this when we face it - and how we fail to overcome it on our own - how we can get ourselves into establishment spaces. We talk about how it is something that we can bring Allies/Accomplices along to help us with. Even when we are the experts in the room, we fear so much being seen as arrogant when we are assertive, when we state our reality, when we challenge the status quo, that we doubt if we should be there. That self doubt means we reduce ourselves, we apologise, and mask our efforts. You can listen to Josephine try and get Dr J to have confidence in real time, and reflect how messed up the world is that we struggle to have confidence. How can we develop that “This is me, and that’s OK” confidence? For the record:Josephine Baird is a PhD applicant, and a lecturer in Game Design at the University of Uppsala - and is an expert on Trans representation and story telling in games. Dr J has a PhD in Immunology, works as a Service Designer/Business Analyst at ThoughtWorks, is a TEDx speaker, and is an expert on building inclusive teams that deliver. We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 41 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about what you would do if you had cis white straight man confidence. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being visible is complicated - Positive visibility matters. For Trans Day of Visibility we decided to do an episode on why we are visible. Dr J celebrates a ten year anniversary of being out publicly as non-binary in their workspaces. What it means to be visible in spaces where we are celebrated and how that impacts on us, and people who see us. What it feels like to have your face plastered all over the Stockholm Subway, and what’s changed in the past ten years. We celebrate having Social Media timelines full of smiling visible Trans and Non-Binary people on TDOV and how that feels to see the breadth of our experience represented. What it means in workspaces to feel that inclusivity - where you’re made to feel comfortable - when you don’t have to worry about bringing all of yourself to work.Positive visibility matters, to those who are out, and to those who are yet to make that leap. It is a privilege to be visible We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 40 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about the positive impacts on visibility. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Why we need Queer Spaces - Special Episode for the Queer House Party Radio Show. Talking about how we met and how queer spaces were involved in that - why queer spaces are needed and what they provide to queers that other spaces don’t - tldr; it’s being in a space where we are not in a minority- finding people like ourselves there, and seeing our experiences reflected from the stage.Why the smoking areas in queer spaces are the community spaces we all need! The oral histories that are made in spaces like this - the celebrations, the care, and the mourning that can happen.We also talk about the queer mindset that makes Queer House Party work so well - and why we pour ourselves into it. How making people feel “seen” makes our hearts sing!Queer House Party - the iconic queer online party Dr J’s TEDx talk - https://youtu.be/K1ZJJInlNxE?t=4791 (raw streamed version with no captioning - the proper one will be up soon) We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 39 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about the need for Queer spaces in real life and online. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Gaining our voice is complicated - So is making ourselves heard. This week we have a guest - Michelle Belcher - https://www.michellebelcher.tv/ and we three talk about voices, gaining our voices and giving voice to our thoughts.What does it mean to gain your voice? What decisions do we make to be heard (and seen) as ourselves? How can we prepare ourselves for changes to our voices? What do we give up when we try and be heard as ourselves? What does it mean when we have to work to make sounds right? How does this impact on our way of communicating?When you hear us, how do you read us?Tickets to Dr J’s TEDx talk - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/tedxsquaremile-2021-tickets-139184890755 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 38 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about being heard as ourselves. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being Trans is complicated - especially in times of covid! This week we have a guest - Michelle Belcher - https://www.michellebelcher.tv/ and we three talk about coming out as trans or non-binary, how we found ourselves, how this changes in the midst of covid, and how that reflects on the ways we’ve all come out, as queer, as trans, as non-binary - often more than once.We cover history, the gaming industry - and talk how Gilgamesh (via a musical) and Octodad (a video game) show that we queers have always been here. Tickets to Dr J’s TEDx talk - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/tedxsquaremile-2021-tickets-139184890755 We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 37 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about the complications of trans in times of covid. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Getting healthcare is complicated - what script can we use? We talk about getting healthcare/medical interventions and the experiences we have had. We talk about ‘Trans broken arm” (or in one of our cases Trans Broken leg), and while sometimes we think we’ve had privilege - we find out we didn’t.Content Note: We discuss medical procedures and transphobic treatmentWe talk about a script of three questions to make interacting with healthcare as a trans/non-binary/gender non-conforming person better.- What pronoun do you prefer?- What hormones do you make and which do you take?- Would you want a bottle or a pan?This is written up more here: https://drjharrison.github.io/portfolio/genderfluid-the-solution/If you want to have more discussion on Jesus Fucking Karen! We recommend watching Lindsay Ellis on Transphobia in the media (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHTMidTLO60&t=3004s) and ContrePoints (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gDKbT_l2us) on JK RowlingHonestly - after both of those wonderful videos - we feel we have flogged this dead horse sufficiently to move along - for now. We now will end on a positive note - discussing how Keanu Reeves is Breathtaking We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 36 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about healthcare. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being queer is complicated - are we queer enough? We talk about the notion of queer and the extended ideas that come with queer and when are we “queer enough” - and when can we call ourselves queer?Where does “queer enough” begin? Who gets to decide? Do we recruit? We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 35 TranscriptThe short film we mention - Queerer than Thou - on YouTube - Queerer Than Thou Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about being queer enough. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being bullied is complicated - and how others respond is also. This comes with a content note - we discuss bullying and violence. We talk about that phrase “Don’t be a victim” and the status quo warriors who say it to us - and what that means in terms of how bullying works and the complications of our responses - the social scripts we play and those we play against. We give our ideas on how to solve such a complex situation from our different perspectives - and we have quite different views.We have a transcript for this episode - IIC Episode 34 Transcript Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about bullying and how we as groups respond. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Lockdown and Covid trauma - and queer survival is complicated. How queers are surviving the lockdown and the extended trauma of the Covid pandemic. We talk about privilege, and the privilege of being able to shelter - and how we as queers have developed superpowers to survive these long slow trauma events - we are glittery cockroaches who will be there at the end of days - not just surviving - partying!We talked about two books - Jamie Hale’s book of sonnets - Shield - available here: https://vervepoetrypress.com/product/jamie-hale-shield-pre-order-free-uk-pp/?v=7516fd43adaaKate Bornstien “Hello Cruel world” - available from all booksellers - so go independent and support your local bookshops! https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/214002/hello-cruel-world-by-kate-bornstein-foreword-by-sara-quin/Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about if queers are glittery cockroaches partying at the end of days See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Bonus Episode 2 - 2021 continues - and is 2020 plus one. A special episode, recorded live (so unedited, and one of us is on pain medication), where we cover the last 26 hours or so… and why our “homework” is late.TLDR; Josephine has a broken leg after a fall in the snow This will lead to another episode in the future - “So you’re trans/non-binary and engaging with basic healthcare” or "What to do when you as a medical professional find out your patient is trans/non-binary" Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to connect with you about the shite fest that is 2021No transcript today - our apologies for this lack of accessibility - the one of us who is awake enough doesn't have the typing skills - the other is on pain meds, and is happily floating around at the moment - and so we lack the capacity this week to get them done. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Media is complicated - or maybe not. We talk through the Bechdel test, what it is for and how it works and propose our own version for Trans and Non-Binary representation in film/TV/shows.The Laverne Totah Test:1) Have a Trans or Non-Binary Character2) Played by a Trans or Non-Binary actor3) Whose main narrative purpose is not tragedy It’s simple! It’s setting the bar incredibly low (we talk about why this is important). It is simple to pass the Laverne Totah Test - you can simply have a trans character, played by a trans actor, walk on screen, look around, and walk off!This is the alpha, the 0.9 version - so let us know what you think of this on our Twitter...We reference the Breathtaking - Keanu Reeves, Laverne Cox, Josie Totah, Elliot Page and of course Alison Bechdel who presented the original test in Dykes to Watch out for.Now with improved accessibility - we will have a transcript for this episode (we're running a bit slow on these - thanks 2021) Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on our test for Trans and Non-Binary in media See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Introducing ourselves is complicated - and it can be an emotional journey. We talk through what a change in employment can mean, what being visibly ourselves when we are employed can mean. We cover the notions of visibility and safety, and how this complicates our lives and the decisions we make every day about visibility. How our fear of loss can impact on our ability to enjoy, and relax in spaces.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on our Introductions dilemma. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being lighthearted complicated - we attempt to do something fun and fail due to complications. We discuss postcolonial readings of popular Christmas songs, Latin for “in the middle of”, we attempt to answer simple random questions, and thanks to events we even had to add a postscript as events and people’s comments overtook our conversation - thanks to a particular trans person's comments in the media.We go on many journeys - and rants abound. Yes… everything is complicated.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on us trying to be Lighthearted.. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Being ourselves can be complicated - and it is so freeing! In a special episode, we interview the amazing Max Marchewicz (wheeliequeermerbabe on insta) - a BSL interpreter, access consultant, and fellow member of the Queer House Party crew - talking about the joy of being able to be yourself in your workplace, the fun of working online and how that makes a more queer way of working, How have our disabilities, our neurodiversity, and our queer life experience helped us navigate the changes the pandemic wrought upon us?Also covering what a diagnosis can mean around neurodiversity.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Social Media. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Social Media is complicated - and trolling can be fun! The way we use social media is different when you are non-heteronormative - we use social media to connect to people we don’t know and have never met - more heteronormative people tend to connect to people they do know and have met. Why do we have these differences in how we use social medias? Are we only creating bubbles?What are trolls, how do we react to them, and how can we use their tactics for good?Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episodeOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Social Media. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Value is complicated - How do we value ourselves and each other in an imperfect world that all too often undervalues us? We talk about how to value our time, each other, our differences and our similarities. We talk about mutually valuing is a wonderful way to exchange what we value in each other. And we also talk about making sure that we are not undervalued when making those exchanges. We know it can be really hard to value ourselves, so please know that we value you. And we take a little over 30 minutes this week to tell you just how and why.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Gaming.Image Description - Two people face a large microphone - on the left wearing glasses with blue hair is a person who is some version of non-Binary - they have a heart shaped necklace - on the right wearing glasses and bright red lipstick with white hair is a trans woman with a circular necklace - the mic between them is large retro and chrome styled. Above both of them are the words It Is Complicated See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Gaming is complicated - How do we understand stories within games? Skyrim might be the only game according to one of us - that doesn’t prevent us talking about the ideas that make games work and how that allows us to make sense of our world. Games are more serious as media than we think - they promote discourse and participation. How does modding a game allow us to build on our experience, and build something that allows for us to represent ourselves more within games. Why creating the Bandit Protection Society in Skyrim would be a wonderful thing and why is this not a possible choice. Why thinking outside the normative rules of a game is creative and frustrating in turns.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episodeOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Gaming. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Building Community is complicated - How we form networks differs in “queer’ world from straight world. Common experiences help us bond deeply and quickly, and yet those can also be temporary. How does this style work when you try it in the more normative world? How do we subvert the normative ways of networking to locate and bond with queers like ourselves? How does the description of ourselves and how we interact change when we use a normative lens? We describe queers as parkour runners through the social scripts of interactions.We also describe the best practices we’ve seen - in Queer House Party - and how they are an exemplar of how these connections are built.Dr J introduces the notion of using six words in all conversations:Be KindPresume the BestEmpathiseIt is also Trans Day of Remembrance on the 20th - there is a vigil online based in the UK - we wanted to remind everyone about this as we Mourn the Dead and fight like hell for the living.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episodeOur Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Building Community. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Getting it out is complicated - Why it’s important to have a rant buddy. We sometimes need spaces to vent, to get those things off our chest. To talk about what is worrying us, and processing it out of our heads. Without that space, and those people, we suffer - trying to hold things and working things through on your own is hard.We cover why the podcast started and why we keep talking and talking and ranting. How Covid lockdown made this wonderful thing exist.Common processing and knowing you're not the only one is so important to rebuilding some mental health. Conversations make a difference, hearing voices that haven't usually been included talking about things we've possibly all experienced, allows us to make connections and see different ways of coping with the same events.This episode has a lot more silliness than we expected at times - laughing is a valid way of processing trauma.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Getting it out! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Production is complicated - is it better to be paid or be heard. We talk about producing events, as a pair with over 35 years of production experience between us - we talk about the best ways we’ve approached production - and tell some tales of when it’s gone wrong. We talk about Queer House Party - becuase it is one of the best examples of what happens when you centre accessibility and inclusion - in every part of it’s mindset and practices. “The massive amounts of organisation that has to happen before anyone gets onto that stage or in front of that camera, or joins that particular party to enjoy the space – to have that public moment of support or to share their story – that process, from beginning to end has to have the same values that you would like to see on the stage.”Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Production See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Representation is complicated - Good Representation is wonderful when we locate it. There is a lot going on at the moment - we wanted to bring a happier viewpoint, and talk about our favorite ways of seeing queers and non-binary and trans people within the media. What it means to see yourself represented in media - in a normalised way - where your story is about things other than your gender. What it means to be a person who washes their socks! Media we talk aboutLChuck Tingle (@ChuckTingle) - Trans Wizard Harriet Porber And The Bad Boy Parasaurolophus: An Adult Romance Novel Dyke Hard John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum True Porn vol 1 - and volume 2 Small Favors: The Definitive Collection: The Definitive Girly Porno Collection Queer House Party Ikenfell Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Representation See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Class is complicated - Honorifics are the way it can show up. What it means as a non-binary person to rub up against the service industry. Do impromptu lessons on gender help? How can we disrupt the power differential and how can we as queers perform class in a way that has respect and safety for all involved. When the Service industry runs to scripts, how can we make them more inclusive, in a way that works for everyone?Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Class See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Art is complicated - Censorship and that narrative is made more complex by queers - how does talking about queer lived experience blur this boundary? Josephine and Dr J talk with Suzanne Shifflett, painter and tattoo artist, based in Long Beach, California. We cover the hustle we all face as queer and artists, and how we constantly hustle to survive and be seen. We are the glittery cockroaches who find ways to survive.The systematic cis-heteronormativity in society means than censorship of pornography impacts more on queers and women. How can we make our point and show our lived experiences? How do we subvert systems to make spaces for our voices?For more of Suzanne’s art- her website, and her instagrams - paintings and tattoos . As this is episode 20 (or 21 if you count the special) - we want to say thank you to everyone who has listened, shared, and enjoyed what we are doing. We make the promise, that should we get enough on our Patreon so that Josephine can do this full time, we will talk about what Suzanne calls “the most unusual tattoo I have ever done”Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concepts of Art and Censorship See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Disability is complicated - Access is simple. If you focus on accessibility where do we end up? If we change how we see disability, how does this impact on how we can focus on access. What new technologies can we use to make spaces more accessible. We talk about Queer House Party and how we work to improve access - and how a recorded live stream of a QHP party is helping make auto captioning better. We talk about how to include those who are “traditionally not included” using ideas of accessibility.We also have the absolute fun of looking at a transcript from Acast - the auto transcription of an episode - let us know if you can guess the episode on our Twitter @itiscomplicatdNow with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concept of Disability and Accessibility. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Neurodiversity is complicated - brains are complex? If we start with “A” where do you end up? What does it mean when you’re asked to mask your anxiety/autism? How we think and process the world is different, and complicated. Building our subjective views of the world.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concept of Neurodiversity. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Privilege is complicated - based on a tweet by @ExteriorWorld - "are you a pornhub category or are you privileged?" - we examine what is privilege, it’s nuances, the intersections. We queers know how to play the Privilege game! How we use and subvert it.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concept of Privilege. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Trans Normativity is complicated - Is there a "normal" narrative about how to be trans? How does this narrative impact on how we view the notions of Trans and Non-Binary? Is there a "normal" narrative for being Non-Binary? If this develops what does that mean for our future? Not often talked about, we talk about it here! Here we introduce the topic, and promise to be back to develop the idea more.Normative for a given value of Normative.Now with improved accessibility - we have a transcript for this episode Our Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/itiscomplicatedGive us feedback - we’re on twitter - https://twitter.com/ItIsComplicatd - we’d love to hear your thoughts on the concept of TransNormitivity. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.