Our TFMR Stories

If you are asking yourself "how do I survive this?" - this episode is for you.Sabrina speaks directly to this question she hears often... from parents facing a devastating prenatal diagnosis, from parents mid-decision, and from parents on the other side of TFMR baby loss looking to make it through. She gives you permission to throw out the "moving on" narrative entirely, and shares her S.E.E.N. framework - the four things she's guided other TFMR parents through to help them carry their grief and keep going.You don't move on from your baby. You move with them. And there IS a way through.To meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find * your * way through with groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call...And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY‌If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.‌The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.‌

Your TFMR story is sacred - the words you share in grief circles, the journals, the downloads you've trusted with your healing, your baby's story... they MUST be handled with care. If you've been looking for TFMR support that actually protects you, this episode is for you.Sabrina (that's me, The TFMR Doula) takes you behind the scenes on her ongoing process of moving away from big tech - Google, Meta, and the companies whose AI is quietly reading, scraping, and training on everything we put into their clouds - to build something safer for all of us. Safer for you, safer for your baby.This isn't just about encrypted video calls or coded forums (although yes, she built the forum herself from scratch, and yes, that's pretty f-ing cool). It's about what becomes possible when TFMR parents finally feel safe... how your healing actually happens, when humans connect heart to human heart, not filtered through a platform that doesn't care about us at all. This is TFMR grief support the way it was always meant to be - private, sovereign, and completely yours.Some recommendations from the episode so you too can keep your TFMR story safe: Firefox browser, Proton mail, Signal messaging appTo meet with Sabrina schedule your Connect Chat and find your exhale and safety within our groups/1on1: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/schedule-call...And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY‌If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.‌The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.‌

Unfortunately TFMR baby loss, ending a wanted pregnancy, abortion for medical reasons is still very misunderstood. In this episode we talk about how this may be showing up in your relationships, your emotions, and how you communicate about your baby loss.You'll also hear some gentle inspiration for the hardest days from Sabrina, who has also been through TFMR, for hydrops & cystic hygroma, and how she found and facilitates understanding spaces for you. In the hardest most impossible parenting, this is the place for you

If you've asked yourself "am I a monster for choosing this?" this episode is for you.Sabrina speaks directly to the thought that haunts so many TFMR parents... before, during, and long after the procedure is over. She speaks to *why* that "monster" thought creeps in once the medical crisis has passed, why both paths can feel monstrous, and why the fact that you're asking the question at all is proof that you're not one.This is fierce parenting. This is a mama on fire. And you are not a monster.‌JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

Today we are talking with Alexia Leachman and her call to classify tokophobia and MANY other reproductive experiences (like the trauma and anxiety that comes from baby loss) under what she calls “Reproductive Anxiety Disorder.” If your anxiety after TFMR has been brushed off as "yeah a lot of folks feel that" but you KNOW there is more to your story, listen in.Alexia Leachman is the author of Fearless Birthing, founder of Head Trash. The Head Trash book and website and method helped her clear her tokophobia - which is the visceral, unexplainable reaction or fear of pregnancy and birth.Her links for more info:https://tik-tokophobia.com/podcast/https://fearless-birthing.com/white-paper/Tokophobia = extreme fear of birthRAD = Reproductive Anxiety Disorder...And in this episode we invite you to join us in this space, just for TFMR parents:THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY‌If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.‌The TFMR Support Sanctuary: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.‌

The “what ifs” after TFMR baby loss can knock you over with their intensity and AMOUNT. After abortion for medical reasons pregnancy loss, you may look back and wish you could have changed the date, the timing, the type of procedure, your habits, your diet - ‘What if' this or that would have made a difference or led to a different outcome?In this episode we talk about where the ‘what ifs' may be showing up, how it feels when these thoughts get loud, and what is under these thoughts. And gentle ways to hold and care for the ‘what ifs.'JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

The “what ifs” after TFMR baby loss can knock you over with their intensity and AMOUNT. After abortion for medical reasons pregnancy loss, you may look back and wish you could have changed the date, the timing, the type of procedure, your habits, your diet - ‘What if' this or that would have made a difference or led to a different outcome?In this episode we talk about where the ‘what ifs' may be showing up, how it feels when these thoughts get loud, and what is under these thoughts. And gentle ways to hold and care for the ‘what ifs.'JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The TFMR Support Sanctuary is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby. Finding ways to live their lives again, TTC again, parent and be in relationships - all while honoring the baby that has died.

Sabrina & Kate wrap up part 3 of 3 of "What Your Grief Actually Needs after TFMR" series and share the key 5 ways to work with and hold your grief gently and survive the horror of TFMR baby loss - these are real, doable, repeatable and helpful things you can do today. We practice these skills deeply and TOGETHER in the TFMR Support Sanctuary if you want to join us live. Through May 11th we have an opening price of $45/monthly and you are invited

Sabrina & Kate wrap up part 3 of 3 of "What Your Grief Actually Needs after TFMR" series and share the key 5 ways to work with and hold your grief gently and survive the horror of TFMR baby loss - these are real, doable, repeatable and helpful things you can do today. We practice these skills deeply and TOGETHER in the TFMR Support Sanctuary if you want to join us live. Through May 11th we have an opening price of $45/monthly and you are invited

‌Sabrina (Fletcher) and Kate (Carson) are back, sharing more about what your grief after TFMR *actually* needs. We're going all the way over to what you DON'T need in your grief after abortion baby loss. If these things have NOT felt like a help to you in your grief, you are not alone, and you are not crazy.And tune back in to part 3 of 3 next time to hear how we have helped ourselves and our clients not only survive, but LIVE after TFMR, simple and doable.And in this episode we invite you to check out this space, just for you:THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARYIf you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌Sabrina (Fletcher) and Kate (Carson) are back, sharing more about what your grief after TFMR *actually* needs. We're going all the way over to what you DON'T need in your grief after abortion baby loss. If these things have NOT felt like a help to you in your grief, you are not alone, and you are not crazy.And tune back in to part 3 of 3 next time to hear how we have helped ourselves and our clients not only survive, but LIVE after TFMR, simple and doable.And in this episode we invite you to check out this space, just for you:THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARYIf you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

‌In Part 1 of 3 of 'What grief after TFMR *actually* needs,' Sabrina Fletcher brings in Kate Carson. These two TFMR grief experts talk about when therapy isn't enough and why you may be feeling this way. We are talking about when therapy models helps and when therapy models falls short (by no fault of the therapist) and when other supplemental grief spaces are needed. This is part 1 of 3 of this series so tune back in over the next few days for more on this topic.IN THIS EPISODE WE ALSO SHARE A SPECIAL INVITATION FOR YOU TO JOIN US IN THE TFMR SUPPORT SANCTUARY:If you're carrying the weight of your TFMR alone... you don't have to anymore.The **TFMR Support Sanctuary** is now open: a monthly community for parents who want ways to release the shame, guilt, and despair of this loss and feel sure and seen in their motherhood, their parenthood, and the love they have for their baby.

In Part 2 of Becky's story, we pick up after her termination for T21 (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21) and what life has looked like in the two and a half months since.Becky talks about how she found the TFMR community... and how even then, she felt alone in her specific diagnosis. She shares what it was like to post her story in a mommy group and have 11 people private message her saying "me too, but don't tell anyone."Becky talks about what nobody told her about the D&E procedure itself, that it was a two-day process. She talks about grieving loudly while her husband grieved quietly, and the moment she realized he was carrying the pain too, just differently.Becky closes with words for anyone right now in the thick of a Trisomy 21 diagnosis, deciding whether to end their pregnancy: you're going to be able to breathe again. The first breath will feel like a gasp. But somehow, time marches on.Thank you, Becky. Your baby boy was here, real, and so fiercely loved.

In Part 2 of Becky's story, we pick up after her termination for T21 (Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21) and what life has looked like in the two and a half months since.Becky talks about how she found the TFMR community... and how even then, she felt alone in her specific diagnosis. She shares what it was like to post her story in a mommy group and have 11 people private message her saying "me too, but don't tell anyone."Becky talks about what nobody told her about the D&E procedure itself, that it was a two-day process. She talks about grieving loudly while her husband grieved quietly, and the moment she realized he was carrying the pain too, just differently.Becky closes with words for anyone right now in the thick of a Trisomy 21 diagnosis, deciding whether to end their pregnancy: you're going to be able to breathe again. The first breath will feel like a gasp. But somehow, time marches on.Thank you, Becky. Your baby boy was here, real, and so fiercely loved.

Becky, TFMR mom and mom to one living kid, shares her story of termination for T21. Becky was almost 40 and considering IVF when she found out she was pregnant naturally. She was over the moon to be pregnant. Then came the NIPT call... at work... while she was in front of her classroom. A heartbreaking 93% chance of T21, Trisomy 21.In Part 1 of 2 of Becky's story, you'll hear how she decided to end her pregnancy after a Down's Syndrome diagnosis. Becky needed to feel 100% certain before she could move forward. So she got her placenta biopsied, and when the results came back confirmed, she and her husband considered the two potential pictures of their baby's future - and what it would mean for their whole family. They thought about their ages, their firstborn toddler, finances, divorce statistics, and a world that isn't always kind. Even then, Becky was still going back and forth on her decision when more medical information - a poor pregnancy diagnosis for herself as well - also came into play.Thank you for sharing about your baby boy and his Down Syndrome diagnosis, Becky.

Becky, TFMR mom and mom to one living kid, shares her story of termination for T21. Becky was almost 40 and considering IVF when she found out she was pregnant naturally. She was over the moon to be pregnant. Then came the NIPT call... at work... while she was in front of her classroom. A heartbreaking 93% chance of T21, Trisomy 21.In Part 1 of 2 of Becky's story, you'll hear how she decided to end her pregnancy after a Down's Syndrome diagnosis. Becky needed to feel 100% certain before she could move forward. So she got her placenta biopsied, and when the results came back confirmed, she and her husband considered the two potential pictures of their baby's future - and what it would mean for their whole family. They thought about their ages, their firstborn toddler, finances, divorce statistics, and a world that isn't always kind. Even then, Becky was still going back and forth on her decision when more medical information - a poor pregnancy diagnosis for herself as well - also came into play.Thank you for sharing about your baby boy and his Down Syndrome diagnosis, Becky.

In Part 1, we talked about feeling "stuck" in TFMR grief and how that feeling comes from using old, outdated ideas - using a broken map. In this episode, I'm showing you what's ACTUALLY in these grief waters.The old grief maps say "here be dragons" - monsters to fight, stages to conquer. But you've actually BEEN to this territory. You know what's really there: manatees (your baby's continuing love, the gentle waves of grief you learn to swim alongside) AND a giant squid (the soul fracture of choosing termination for a wanted baby, the impossible grief that wraps around you in the dark).The problem? Most people refuse to believe the giant squid exists because they haven't lived it, haven't held their dead baby, haven't named a baby and then had to choose their death. You're not stuck. You're not imagining things. You're navigating waters that don't exist on anyone else's map.And that's exactly why you need people who've seen the giant squid too.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

In Part 1, we talked about feeling "stuck" in TFMR grief and how that feeling comes from using old, outdated ideas - using a broken map. In this episode, I'm showing you what's ACTUALLY in these grief waters.The old grief maps say "here be dragons" - monsters to fight, stages to conquer. But you've actually BEEN to this territory. You know what's really there: manatees (your baby's continuing love, the gentle waves of grief you learn to swim alongside) AND a giant squid (the soul fracture of choosing termination for a wanted baby, the impossible grief that wraps around you in the dark).The problem? Most people refuse to believe the giant squid exists because they haven't lived it, haven't held their dead baby, haven't named a baby and then had to choose their death. You're not stuck. You're not imagining things. You're navigating waters that don't exist on anyone else's map.And that's exactly why you need people who've seen the giant squid too.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

If you've ever felt like your grief is never-ending, if you worry “will this ever end?” if you feel other people think you are ‘stuck' in your grief after baby loss, listen in.I share what that "I feel stuck" feeling may be showing up as after ending a wanted pregnancy. You'll also hear why the *idea* of being “stuck in grief' feels so prevalent. And you'll find relief in looking at “stuckness” in a new light.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

If you've ever felt like your grief is never-ending, if you worry “will this ever end?” if you feel other people think you are ‘stuck' in your grief after baby loss, listen in.I share what that "I feel stuck" feeling may be showing up as after ending a wanted pregnancy. You'll also hear why the *idea* of being “stuck in grief' feels so prevalent. And you'll find relief in looking at “stuckness” in a new light.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

You know that feeling when someone tells you to "just be grateful for what you have" and it makes you want to scream? When your own family acts like you should be "over it" by now, so you plaster on a smile and pretend you're fine? If you've been feeling so alone after losing your wanted baby, exhausted from putting on a “I'm okay” face, and wondering if you are the problem because positive thinking isn't fixing your shattered heart - listen in

You know that feeling when someone tells you to "just be grateful for what you have" and it makes you want to scream? When your own family acts like you should be "over it" by now, so you plaster on a smile and pretend you're fine? If you've been feeling so alone after losing your wanted baby, exhausted from putting on a “I'm okay” face, and wondering if you are the problem because positive thinking isn't fixing your shattered heart - listen in

Megan Tennis' story & journey continues after her molar pregnancy diagnosis and medical interventions. Part 2 of 2 takes us through the cancer treatments that followed, the grief that regular therapy couldn't touch, and how Megan's own experience of feeling unseen and misunderstood in traditional therapy spaces led her to specialize in pregnancy loss counseling.Megan has created something different: a therapeutic approach specifically for pregnancy loss that actually understands what grieving parents need. She shares what that looks like in this episode and how to help validate your grief after baby loss of all kinds.This episode is for anyone who's tried traditional therapy after pregnancy loss (especially when it is a “unique” or “rare” or “not talked about” kind of loss -like TFMR-) and felt like something was missing. For those wondering if your grief "should" look different by now. For anyone who's thought "my therapist just doesn't understand this type of loss." Megan's story shows how going through it yourself & professional training can come together to create the support that actually helps.CONNECT WITH MEGAN TENNIS:@meganmiscarried on TikTokMegan is also a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois: https://www.advancedbhs.com/megan-tennis-lpc/ and she wants to share the link for the helpful non-profit organization Chasing The Rainbows: https://linktr.ee/chasingtherainbowsTFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM STARTING IN FEB. 2026:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

Megan Tennis' story & journey continues after her molar pregnancy diagnosis and medical interventions. Part 2 of 2 takes us through the cancer treatments that followed, the grief that regular therapy couldn't touch, and how Megan's own experience of feeling unseen and misunderstood in traditional therapy spaces led her to specialize in pregnancy loss counseling.Megan has created something different: a therapeutic approach specifically for pregnancy loss that actually understands what grieving parents need. She shares what that looks like in this episode and how to help validate your grief after baby loss of all kinds.This episode is for anyone who's tried traditional therapy after pregnancy loss (especially when it is a “unique” or “rare” or “not talked about” kind of loss -like TFMR-) and felt like something was missing. For those wondering if your grief "should" look different by now. For anyone who's thought "my therapist just doesn't understand this type of loss." Megan's story shows how going through it yourself & professional training can come together to create the support that actually helps.CONNECT WITH MEGAN TENNIS:@meganmiscarried on TikTokMegan is also a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois: https://www.advancedbhs.com/megan-tennis-lpc/ and she wants to share the link for the helpful non-profit organization Chasing The Rainbows: https://linktr.ee/chasingtherainbowsTFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM STARTING IN FEB. 2026:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

Megan's story begins with complications in a wanted pregnancy leading to a life-threatening molar pregnancy diagnosis. A molar pregnancy happens when what should be placenta/baby/pregnancy tissue grows abnormally instead, creating cancerous cells.For Megan, this meant facing something she never thought would come from pregnancy: becoming a cancer patient. She found herself not only grieving the loss of her pregnancy but also having to do cancer treatments to save her own life.Listen in to hear the raw reality of making medical pregnancy decisions under crisis conditions. If you've felt isolated during fertility and pregnancy health crises (that are just never talked about!)… if you wonder how to survive grieving a pregnancy that needed heartbreaking medical interventions …. if you had to make impossible choices for your body/pregnancy… this episode is for you.CONNECT WITH MEGAN TENNIS:@meganmiscarried on TikTokMegan is also a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois: https://www.advancedbhs.com/megan-tennis-lpc/ and she wants to share the link for the helpful non-profit organization Chasing The Rainbows: https://linktr.ee/chasingtherainbowsTFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM STARTING IN FEB. 2026:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

Megan's story begins with complications in a wanted pregnancy leading to a life-threatening molar pregnancy diagnosis. A molar pregnancy happens when what should be placenta/baby/pregnancy tissue grows abnormally instead, creating cancerous cells.For Megan, this meant facing something she never thought would come from pregnancy: becoming a cancer patient. She found herself not only grieving the loss of her pregnancy but also having to do cancer treatments to save her own life.Listen in to hear the raw reality of making medical pregnancy decisions under crisis conditions. If you've felt isolated during fertility and pregnancy health crises (that are just never talked about!)… if you wonder how to survive grieving a pregnancy that needed heartbreaking medical interventions …. if you had to make impossible choices for your body/pregnancy… this episode is for you.CONNECT WITH MEGAN TENNIS:@meganmiscarried on TikTokMegan is also a licensed clinical professional counselor in Illinois: https://www.advancedbhs.com/megan-tennis-lpc/ and she wants to share the link for the helpful non-profit organization Chasing The Rainbows: https://linktr.ee/chasingtherainbowsTFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM STARTING IN FEB. 2026:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

You're not alone if you have tough, scary, horrible thoughts after ending a wanted pregnancy, terminating a wanted pregnancy, having an abortion for medical reasons. When you've lost a baby in pregnancy after a horrible prenatal diagnosis, of course not all your thoughts are cheery and light.In this episode I talk about some hard thoughts you may be struggling with, and a safe space you could join if you'd like someone to hold you through it.The thoughts that keep you up at 3am after TFMR aren't talked about in regular grief spaces. They're too raw, too complex, too misunderstood. But having these thoughts doesn't make you a monster… it makes you HUMAN.In this solo episode, I share 5 of the toughest thoughts TFMR parents carry, from hoping your baby would die naturally to realizing there's no safe time in pregnancy. These aren't easy to hear, but if you've had them, you need to know you're not alone and you're not broken. We hold these thoughts together because that's the only way they become bearable.Special holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-supportSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

You're not alone if you have tough, scary, horrible thoughts after ending a wanted pregnancy, terminating a wanted pregnancy, having an abortion for medical reasons. When you've lost a baby in pregnancy after a horrible prenatal diagnosis, of course not all your thoughts are cheery and light.In this episode I talk about some hard thoughts you may be struggling with, and a safe space you could join if you'd like someone to hold you through it.The thoughts that keep you up at 3am after TFMR aren't talked about in regular grief spaces. They're too raw, too complex, too misunderstood. But having these thoughts doesn't make you a monster… it makes you HUMAN.In this solo episode, I share 5 of the toughest thoughts TFMR parents carry, from hoping your baby would die naturally to realizing there's no safe time in pregnancy. These aren't easy to hear, but if you've had them, you need to know you're not alone and you're not broken. We hold these thoughts together because that's the only way they become bearable.Special holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-supportSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

Re-released episode, originally from 2023. Grief can be especially hard around the holidays and through the new year with expectations to be "joyful" and "cheerful." In this episode I answer questions from other TFMR parents in the community about getting through the holidays. You'll hear 4 main tips PLUS an explanation of "Grieving in 4D."This episode was originally recorded as a live video in the TFMR Support Circle Facebook group. Apply to join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup to listen to episodes early.Other links mentioned:Get your free copy of the guide "Self-care in the Grief of TFMR" here: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-careSpecial holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-supportSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

Re-released episode, originally from 2023. Grief can be especially hard around the holidays and through the new year with expectations to be "joyful" and "cheerful." In this episode I answer questions from other TFMR parents in the community about getting through the holidays. You'll hear 4 main tips PLUS an explanation of "Grieving in 4D."This episode was originally recorded as a live video in the TFMR Support Circle Facebook group. Apply to join us here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/facebookgroup to listen to episodes early.Other links mentioned:Get your free copy of the guide "Self-care in the Grief of TFMR" here: http://www.thetfmrdoula.com/tfmr-self-careSpecial holiday support package with a 1:1 session AND "Peace of Mind: Audio mindfulness program for TFMR parents" here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/holiday-supportSTART 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

In Part 2 of 2 of Rachel Polans' TFMR story, we move into what happened after her baby's rare ‘de novo' genetic mutation diagnosis. The D&E procedure in Brooklyn, the physical reality of being postpartum without a baby. Rachel talks about what it was like being in a general surgery pre-op area with people there for all kinds of procedures, not a space designed for pregnancy loss.Rachel shares about the haunting due date, seeing other people who were pregnant at the same time have their babies, and struggling with the medical record that says "elective termination" when that's not what this was at all.Rachel also opens up about how being a genetic counselor shaped her grief differently - she never even knew the term TFMR existed until after her loss, even though she had counseled families through this exact experience.If you're postpartum without your baby, if you're struggling with how the medical system names (or doesn't name) what happened to you, if you work in healthcare and nobody prepared you for living through this yourself, or if you're trying to find your people and don't know what to search for: I hope Rachel's honesty about finding the TFMR community and now navigating pregnancy after loss will help you feel less alone.Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us

In Part 2 of 2 of Rachel Polans' TFMR story, we move into what happened after her baby's rare ‘de novo' genetic mutation diagnosis. The D&E procedure in Brooklyn, the physical reality of being postpartum without a baby. Rachel talks about what it was like being in a general surgery pre-op area with people there for all kinds of procedures, not a space designed for pregnancy loss.Rachel shares about the haunting due date, seeing other people who were pregnant at the same time have their babies, and struggling with the medical record that says "elective termination" when that's not what this was at all.Rachel also opens up about how being a genetic counselor shaped her grief differently - she never even knew the term TFMR existed until after her loss, even though she had counseled families through this exact experience.If you're postpartum without your baby, if you're struggling with how the medical system names (or doesn't name) what happened to you, if you work in healthcare and nobody prepared you for living through this yourself, or if you're trying to find your people and don't know what to search for: I hope Rachel's honesty about finding the TFMR community and now navigating pregnancy after loss will help you feel less alone.Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us

In Part 1 of 2 of this real TFMR story from mother Rachel Polans, we talk about the bad diagnosis that eventually led Rachel to end her wanted pregnancy. After struggles with infertility, IUI treatments, and a chemical pregnancy, Rachel finally got to hear this baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks.But a later ultrasound scan showed bilateral club feet and led to more testing… 7 weeks of waiting for amniocentesis results… and then the phone call on her husband's birthday that changed everything: KAT6B gene mutation. A condition so rare there are fewer than 150 cases in the world - and Rachel recognized it because she happened to have a patient with this exact gene.As a pediatric genetic counselor, Rachel sees families going through these worst-case scenarios every single day. Going through it herself was something else entirely. Rachel's medical knowledge was both a blessing and a curse. It helped her know which tests to ask for, but it also meant she knew what could go awfully, awfully wrong.If you're waiting for test results right now, if you work in healthcare and this is happening to you, if your body is telling you something's wrong even before the doctors say anything - Rachel's story will help you feel less alone. Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us

In Part 1 of 2 of this real TFMR story from mother Rachel Polans, we talk about the bad diagnosis that eventually led Rachel to end her wanted pregnancy. After struggles with infertility, IUI treatments, and a chemical pregnancy, Rachel finally got to hear this baby's heartbeat at 6 weeks.But a later ultrasound scan showed bilateral club feet and led to more testing… 7 weeks of waiting for amniocentesis results… and then the phone call on her husband's birthday that changed everything: KAT6B gene mutation. A condition so rare there are fewer than 150 cases in the world - and Rachel recognized it because she happened to have a patient with this exact gene.As a pediatric genetic counselor, Rachel sees families going through these worst-case scenarios every single day. Going through it herself was something else entirely. Rachel's medical knowledge was both a blessing and a curse. It helped her know which tests to ask for, but it also meant she knew what could go awfully, awfully wrong.If you're waiting for test results right now, if you work in healthcare and this is happening to you, if your body is telling you something's wrong even before the doctors say anything - Rachel's story will help you feel less alone. Thank you, Rachel, for sharing your baby's story with us

The numbers around TFMR might surprise you and hopefully comfort you too. In this episode, Sabrina Fletcher (hi there, that's me, the TFMR Doula) shares an unofficial but conservative estimate: TFMR happens in approximately 1 in 55 pregnancies.

The numbers around TFMR might surprise you and hopefully comfort you too. In this episode, Sabrina Fletcher (hi there, that's me, the TFMR Doula) shares an unofficial but conservative estimate: TFMR happens in approximately 1 in 55 pregnancies.

If you've ever searched for pregnancy loss support and felt invisible when TFMR isn't mentioned, this episode is for you. Sabrina Fletcher (that's me, The TFMR Doula) gets real about what it means when baby loss spaces claim to be "for all" but never list termination for medical reasons alongside miscarriage and stillbirth. She shares practical suggestions for grief spaces that want to truly welcome TFMR families: from using the term explicitly in descriptions to moderating stigmatizing comments to highlighting our stories (even anonymously).This isn't about calling any groups or specific people out. It's about calling them in.Many broad loss spaces genuinely want to learn how to be better allies, especially during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. If you've been looking for language to help others understand why representation matters, or if you run a space yourself and want to support TFMR families better, this episode gives specific steps forward. Because TFMR *IS* pregnancy loss, and we deserve to be named.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

If you've ever searched for pregnancy loss support and felt invisible when TFMR isn't mentioned, this episode is for you. Sabrina Fletcher (that's me, The TFMR Doula) gets real about what it means when baby loss spaces claim to be "for all" but never list termination for medical reasons alongside miscarriage and stillbirth. She shares practical suggestions for grief spaces that want to truly welcome TFMR families: from using the term explicitly in descriptions to moderating stigmatizing comments to highlighting our stories (even anonymously).This isn't about calling any groups or specific people out. It's about calling them in.Many broad loss spaces genuinely want to learn how to be better allies, especially during Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. If you've been looking for language to help others understand why representation matters, or if you run a space yourself and want to support TFMR families better, this episode gives specific steps forward. Because TFMR *IS* pregnancy loss, and we deserve to be named.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

"Do I belong here?" is the question that breaks my heart every time someone asks. If you're wondering whether your TFMR counts, whether your situation is "too different" to fit in our community, whether you'll be welcome here...this episode is for you.The truth is, the world has already made you question your place in so many spaces. Not here. Here, you belong.Whether your loss was for your health or your baby's health, whether it was a gray diagnosis or fatal, whether this was your first pregnancy or you have living children, whether you're fresh out or decades past. YOU BELONG. Your story matters. Your baby matters. And we want to hear from you. This is your invitation home.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

"Do I belong here?" is the question that breaks my heart every time someone asks. If you're wondering whether your TFMR counts, whether your situation is "too different" to fit in our community, whether you'll be welcome here...this episode is for you.The truth is, the world has already made you question your place in so many spaces. Not here. Here, you belong.Whether your loss was for your health or your baby's health, whether it was a gray diagnosis or fatal, whether this was your first pregnancy or you have living children, whether you're fresh out or decades past. YOU BELONG. Your story matters. Your baby matters. And we want to hear from you. This is your invitation home.START 1on1 SUPPORT NOW:

“Will my baby suffer?" This question haunts so many of us through the TFMR baby loss process - whether we're facing the decision right now or wrestling with it months or years later. It's the question that keeps you up at 2am, the one that makes your chest tight, the one nobody else seems to understand why it matters so very deeply.In this tender solo episode, I share how my daughter Clara came to me in a dream when I asked her this exact question. I talk about how we're STILL parenting our babies through the veil, how ending suffering was an act of protection, and how peace became possible when I was finally seen as the mother I am. If you're asking yourself "will they suffer" or "did they suffer," this episode is for you.RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Decision Support Calls with Sabrina: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlOne-on-one TFMR grief support, email Sabrina: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com to get started

“Will my baby suffer?" This question haunts so many of us through the TFMR baby loss process - whether we're facing the decision right now or wrestling with it months or years later. It's the question that keeps you up at 2am, the one that makes your chest tight, the one nobody else seems to understand why it matters so very deeply.In this tender solo episode, I share how my daughter Clara came to me in a dream when I asked her this exact question. I talk about how we're STILL parenting our babies through the veil, how ending suffering was an act of protection, and how peace became possible when I was finally seen as the mother I am. If you're asking yourself "will they suffer" or "did they suffer," this episode is for you.RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:Decision Support Calls with Sabrina: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlOne-on-one TFMR grief support, email Sabrina: sabrina [at] theTFMRdoula [dot] com to get started

Are you struggling with shame about your TFMR? In Part 2 of 2, Emily Cross opens up about the years she spent lying about her hyperemesis gravidarum TFMR, telling people she miscarried instead of admitting she "chose" abortion.When Emily's third pregnancy resulted in her son Marty, who lived four precious weeks before dying of SIDS, everything changed. Suddenly finding herself in baby loss communities, Emily realized something profound: she qualified. Her TFMR was ALSO real baby loss, deserving of the same grief and support as any other loss.Emily shares how losing Marty gave her permission to finally grieve her first baby without shame, why there's no hierarchy in baby loss, and how finding her place in the baby loss community changed everything about how she saw her TFMR experience.LINKS MENTIONED:Read Emily's story in this Boston Globe articleMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:Send me an email at sabrina @ the tfmr doula . com to get 1on1 support/ a support call. You don't have to go through this alone.If you are looking for a kind ear as you decide whether TFMR or carrying to term will be right for you, (or help making a D&E or labor and delivery decision) schedule your Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlwww.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

Are you struggling with shame about your TFMR? In Part 2 of 2, Emily Cross opens up about the years she spent lying about her hyperemesis gravidarum TFMR, telling people she miscarried instead of admitting she "chose" abortion.When Emily's third pregnancy resulted in her son Marty, who lived four precious weeks before dying of SIDS, everything changed. Suddenly finding herself in baby loss communities, Emily realized something profound: she qualified. Her TFMR was ALSO real baby loss, deserving of the same grief and support as any other loss.Emily shares how losing Marty gave her permission to finally grieve her first baby without shame, why there's no hierarchy in baby loss, and how finding her place in the baby loss community changed everything about how she saw her TFMR experience.LINKS MENTIONED:Read Emily's story in this Boston Globe articleMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:Send me an email at sabrina @ the tfmr doula . com to get 1on1 support/ a support call. You don't have to go through this alone.If you are looking for a kind ear as you decide whether TFMR or carrying to term will be right for you, (or help making a D&E or labor and delivery decision) schedule your Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlwww.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

Are you facing TFMR due to Hyperemesis gravidarum? Emily Cross shares her experience as a mom who survived two life-threatening HG pregnancies - one ending in TFMR, one resulting in a baby who lived four weeks before dying of SIDS. Listen in to hear how ALL our impossible decisions still make us GOOD mothers.Emily's first pregnancy started magical (positive test in Paris on New Year's Eve) but quickly became a fight for survival when severe hyperemesis gravidarum left her unable to keep down even water. After losing 20% of her body weight, French doctors still told her "pregnancy isn't an illness" and forced a 7-day wait period. Her privilege allowed her to fly to England for immediate care - a choice that saved her life.If you're googling "hyperemesis gravidarum TFMR" at 2am, this episode is your lighthouse. Emily shares the moment she knew she had to choose her own survival, what it really feels like when the pregnancy illness stops the second you become "unpregnant," and how she found her way from shame to community after years of not having words for her experience.LINKS MENTIONED:Read Emily's story in this Boston Globe articleMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:Send me an email at sabrina @ the tfmr doula . com to get 1on1 support/ a support call. You don't have to go through this alone.If you are looking for a kind ear as you decide whether TFMR or carrying to term will be right for you, (or help making a D&E or labor and delivery decision) schedule your Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlwww.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

Are you facing TFMR due to Hyperemesis gravidarum? Emily Cross shares her experience as a mom who survived two life-threatening HG pregnancies - one ending in TFMR, one resulting in a baby who lived four weeks before dying of SIDS. Listen in to hear how ALL our impossible decisions still make us GOOD mothers.Emily's first pregnancy started magical (positive test in Paris on New Year's Eve) but quickly became a fight for survival when severe hyperemesis gravidarum left her unable to keep down even water. After losing 20% of her body weight, French doctors still told her "pregnancy isn't an illness" and forced a 7-day wait period. Her privilege allowed her to fly to England for immediate care - a choice that saved her life.If you're googling "hyperemesis gravidarum TFMR" at 2am, this episode is your lighthouse. Emily shares the moment she knew she had to choose her own survival, what it really feels like when the pregnancy illness stops the second you become "unpregnant," and how she found her way from shame to community after years of not having words for her experience.LINKS MENTIONED:Read Emily's story in this Boston Globe articleMORE TFMR GRIEF SUPPORT RESOURCES:Send me an email at sabrina @ the tfmr doula . com to get 1on1 support/ a support call. You don't have to go through this alone.If you are looking for a kind ear as you decide whether TFMR or carrying to term will be right for you, (or help making a D&E or labor and delivery decision) schedule your Decision Support call here: https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/decision-support.htmlwww.thetfmrdoula.com/resources to see guides, meditations, courses and current group offerings

You're not broken if you're doing all the “right” self-care things and something still feels like it's missing after TFMR baby loss. If you're still feeling lonely despite all the bubble baths and journaling, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just needing the other half of healing: community care.In this solo episode, I share why individual self-care can only take TFMR grief so far, and why community care - especially with other TFMR parents - changes everything.When you're carrying thoughts and feelings that regular grief groups just don't understand, you need people who can remind you of your goodness, your motherhood, and that you're not losing your mind. We were never meant to grieve alone, and the healing happens faster, deeper, and more completely when we hold it together in community.There's still time to join our upcoming GRIEF CIRCLE (starting Sep. 24th! 7pm) if this is the community you've been looking for, waiting for. Here's the link to apply to join us:https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

You're not broken if you're doing all the “right” self-care things and something still feels like it's missing after TFMR baby loss. If you're still feeling lonely despite all the bubble baths and journaling, there's nothing wrong with you. You're just needing the other half of healing: community care.In this solo episode, I share why individual self-care can only take TFMR grief so far, and why community care - especially with other TFMR parents - changes everything.When you're carrying thoughts and feelings that regular grief groups just don't understand, you need people who can remind you of your goodness, your motherhood, and that you're not losing your mind. We were never meant to grieve alone, and the healing happens faster, deeper, and more completely when we hold it together in community.There's still time to join our upcoming GRIEF CIRCLE (starting Sep. 24th! 7pm) if this is the community you've been looking for, waiting for. Here's the link to apply to join us:https://www.thetfmrdoula.com/ascend-apply

You're not alone in holding impossible questions as a TFMR parent. If you've lost a baby to termination for medical reasons and ever found yourself yourself pacing your house asking "am I a monster?" or lying awake wondering "does anyone actually understand?" then this episode is for you.In this episode, I share why these questions can't be answered in isolation and where to find the community that understands why you're asking them in the first place:“Will my baby suffer?””Am I a monster?””How do I survive?””Does anyone understand?”…the questions that haunt TFMR moms and dads.Because the crux of TFMR grief isn't just losing your baby - it's carrying questions so profound that only other parents who've made this impossible choice can truly hold them with you.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle

You're not alone in holding impossible questions as a TFMR parent. If you've lost a baby to termination for medical reasons and ever found yourself yourself pacing your house asking "am I a monster?" or lying awake wondering "does anyone actually understand?" then this episode is for you.In this episode, I share why these questions can't be answered in isolation and where to find the community that understands why you're asking them in the first place:“Will my baby suffer?””Am I a monster?””How do I survive?””Does anyone understand?”…the questions that haunt TFMR moms and dads.Because the crux of TFMR grief isn't just losing your baby - it's carrying questions so profound that only other parents who've made this impossible choice can truly hold them with you.TFMR GRIEF CIRCLE PROGRAM:If you're longing for intimate, ongoing group support, apply now for the Ascend TFMR Grief Circle