A slantendicular look at Tottenham Hotspur football.
Donate to The Tottenham Chronicles
WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THE LEAGUE. THIS IS OUR SECRET WEAPON.
OUT OF THE CUPS, BRENTFORD AND YANITED WINS AND SOCIEDAD OR AZ ALKMAAR IN THE EUROPA. BEAT YANITED 4 TIMES THIS SEASON IN BILBAO????
Elfsborg (3-0)and Brentford (0-2). FFS. Tel, Danso and some kids. Dragusin ACL, no CB's and Liverpool for the cup final. Oh and Villa after that with Rashford. Strange world. Nom Nom Nom
With Christmas ruined let's see if we can kill the most depressing month of the year. You go get 'em Spurs. Wolves (2-2), and Newcastle (1-2) And why Spurs this season should be called the Archie Gray finishing school FC.
SPURS HAVE RECEIVED VERY LITTLE CHARITY THIS DECEMBER BUT HEY, WE STUFFED THE SAINTS (0-5) TO SEND RUSSELL MARTIN REACHING FOR HIS COERVER METHOD ANNUAL. (THE DUDE MISSED THE 5TH GOAL COS HE WAS BUSY EMPTYING HIS LOCKER) WE LOOK FORWARD TO YANITED IN THE ENERGY CUP AND LIVERPOOL IN THE LEAGUE. ( WE COULD MAKE IT VERRRRRRYYYY INTERESTING OR PERISH IN A BALL OF FLAMES. EITHER OR. PFFFT JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA
BOURNEMOUTH, CHELSEA, RANGERS...dont' get scared now.
ALKMAAR, PALACE, CITY, VILLA AND GALATASARAY... ON WE MARCH TO BILBAO?! FROM "WE HAVE NEYMAR" TO " "GALAHORRORSHOW" ACH FOOK IT.
12 corners in the first half. My word. Look forward to our potted history of AZ Alkmaar. Mousa Dembele's team and Jonny Metgod... if you know, you know. onto Palace!
It's been a case of the 'Bad' (Arsenal, 0-1), the 'Fugly' (Coventry 1-2) and the 'Good' Brentford (3-1) in the past week and next up we welcome Qarabag to the WHL on Thursday in the Europa followed by an Old Trafford showdown that never disappoints in terms of tragedy against a knock-kneed Yanited on the Weekend. We deep the City - Arsenal game, Rodri's ACL, Haaland lobbing the ball at Gabriels head after a 97th minute equaliser and spend some time discussing the travesty of that 2nd half as Assna went a man down and played a 5-4-0. We turn our attention to the Brentford game which overall was much more coherent against an admittedly lower order team but the signs are that the side is looking more settled and clearer in what they can expect of each other as their roles are tweaked and modified to get the best of what we have. "Stay humble, huh?" COYS follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: @TOTTCHRON E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
An opening Leicester 1-1 draw and a resounding victory (4-0) against a zombie Everton team at home... It's the 2024/25 season ladies and gentlemen and we've got Europa bollocks to contend with so don't get too comfortable. It's Porro, Bissouma, Son and Romero all leading the charge and it's the Newcastle graveyard next. Ouch.
Arsenal, Chelsea and Liverpool away when we've all mentally checked out. Auuuugggghhhhhhffffttttt. Here's to relegating mighty Burnley at the weekend! ROLL ON NEXT SEASON!
Ange Postecoglou's system relies on pull backs which in turn lends itself to Own Goals, this week we discuss whether Ange gets a goal bonus for these rather delicious opposition resilience breakers. Spurs have created the most OG's in the league so we ask does that mean that Spurs are saving on goal and assist bonuses this season and does Levy give a Ange a pat on the back each week? Big end to the season coming up - Arsenal, Liverpool and City!
We interrupt our transmission to play a hand of Football Trivial Pursuit (circa 2005) because Tottenham were so awful in their 3-0 humbling at the hands of a buoyant Fulham. Top 4 is still very much on, but crikey it's going to be bumpy! Luton at home next. Come on!!! follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Spurs will decide where the title goes. Nice warm up for next year. Yeah booooiiiiii
AFCON and the ASIAN cup is over for our boys. Injuries are thing of the past and everyone is back. We have scores to settle...and no Europe to distract. We 5th and dangerous...most nourishing. follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Timo Werner appears out of nowhere, Radu Dragusin arrives and dreams of Madrid (according to chatty agent) and VDV and Romero might be fit for Old Trafford. Son, Biss and Sarr won't be with us and the January transfer window is gaping and yet we've already got 2 in the sack. A narrow victory over Burnley in the FA Cup is discussed with City to come next (cheers Mabbsy!) although we they get nowt from Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, so no danger there then. And of course it's Goodbye for now, to Eric Dier...he still loves me you know. Happy Caddying for Harry! #COYS
A power-lifting City 3-3 last gasp draw, a gut-dropping 1-2 at the hands of the Spammers and a resounding Barcodes pummeling 4-1 - that's entertainment folks! Things are looking up. Onto the City Ground! We discuss giving Romero the armband, to keep his value high and on the pitch, why 2019 sucked the life out of Ten Hag and why Richarlison will "helicopter" past hangdog Steve Cooper and reveal more than just his pubis... But wait, is that VDV back on the grass, I see boys? COOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOONNNNNNN! follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Well, the Ange love-in was vomit inducing anyways and 2 defeats on the bounce represents the death of that. (which is a relief) We are now faced with pure and unadulterated shit-stormery through course of December with no International breaks to catch our fall. After an egregious slice of cataclysmic misfortune against Chelsea that repeatedly had it's way with us, in the end, we firmly and most resolutely perished on our swords - which is something. The Chelsea debacle (after being so close to 2-0) represented the most gut-flipping of matches since the UCL final in 2019 (seems so far away doesn't it?) but in playing a high line with 9 men, it sent a message....that we are coming for you our way, which is something that confuses our gawping opponents who would elect for sitting in and defending for their lives - how very undignified - which says to me the Ange way is the right way...our way... and I love that. Onto Villa with Dier and Davies. Oh My! COYS
Crystal Palace 1-2 (Ward OG & Son). Still top. It's November. Crimes! Until we play City I don't know where we are. ARRRRRGGGHHHHFFFFTTT. We discuss El Classico, the Manchester derby and the return of Pochettino! Hurrah follow us https://twitter.com/TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
We can go 5 points clear with a win against a Eze and Elise-less Crystal Palace. My word. We look back on Fulham at home (2-0, Son, Maddison) and spend some time on our own personal football odyssey to Barcelona for a veterans, 5-aside tournament. We bombed. But what a tear up! Up the Spurs.
No words, we are top of the league.
How on earth do Arsenal beat us? Dey fucked. Snatching a 2-1 victory against a relegation fancied Sheffield United with a 98th (RICHY) and 100th (KULU) minute winner sets up the Arsenal nice and cozy. We are a different Spurs. We are the same. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Ashley Barnes couldn't save Burnley this time as Vincent Kompany got his city arse handed to him. We discuss international break and Sheffield Next! Up the Spurs...
This week we discuss how defenestration works during a transfer window; the cozy Bournemouth victory on the South Coast and the ignominious exit of the the League Cup at the hands of Marco Silva's Fulham. Turf Moor next! Welcome to the madhouse Brennan Johnson! follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
The start of the Ange dynasty began a heroic 2-2 draw against Brentford followed by an emboldening 2-0 victory against an expensively assembled and crap Yanited. Our esteemed panel discuss scoring a goal with the aid of a concussion and Yves Bissouma nutmegging Casemiro and thus taking all his UCL medals in one fell swoop. We finish by trying to talk about Bournemouth but how knows anything about them. Should be fun, Enjoy! follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Our best player is going to leave...or is he? Pre season has been less than ideal, bounced around the sub continent with very little to show for it. But, Spurs are different, back to the old, something perhaps we should never have turned our back on but here we are. Toughen up guys cos the season will be wild.
It's the dead zone of football and podcasts are truly scraping the barrel. We aren't dead but we are bloated with preseason tittle tattle. We discuss Harry, Hojbjerg, Vicario, Solomon and Van de Ven and our new vibes manager Angelos Postecoglu who we all hope is something more than just vibes. But hey, the back 4 is back (with no one able to fill these ranks) and wingbacks are a thing of the 70's and we merely have 6 of those, but no matter. I think we might be going back to a mid 90's isn't Ruel Fox tricky era. Oh good freakin' God.
SPURS 2-3 BOURNEMOUTH. A grizzly affair. Apologies are in order - throughout the episode admin was testing out a wet fart sound effect (seemed fitting) that would record live but it didn't make it onto the imported files(we'll investigate this). So it would appear to the listener that we are laughing at nothing (again, fitting given Spur's finale to the season). So to be clear that whenever we laugh for no reason(this happens a fair amount)...imagine a sloppy fart sound effect and an accompanying actual turd, I find it helps with finding closure with this chod that won't flush kinda season. Bournemouth at home. We lost...Ha. 2-3 Well as long as we're building for the ffffuuuuut... ah forget it. Enjoy the show.
So VAR in the end cut shorter Conté's reign (by 10 weeks). Wiithout that BS decision at Southampton Spurs would have been 3rd and the Italian would still be here. I suppose it's better this way. Oh well the football was excrement...but his first full season? Ouch. But we've kept all Conte's staff...whichh means he's still here, so it was a personality contest and no one likes you. Fine. In other news FIFA has decreed that Paratici can't function as a DOF, well, at least we got Romero before his black book got seized and good luck in football jail. Everton, next. Oh whatever. #COYS follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Fakinel. We are on the floor. 2 goals in 6 games. Out of the FA Cup, Adama'd at Molineux and then 180 minutes of slow fade to black against AC Milan for Spurs to exit the UCL. This is a tough one. Recorded straight after the game. Too annoyed to publish immediately. Here we are. We did beat Nottingham Forest, so, Top 4 is still on but twas a bitter blow ending a turd of a week. Enjoy! uck'Well!
2-0 v Chelsea. (Skipp, Kane) 26th feb 2023 For 20 years Chelsea have been a jacked up Frankenstein, today, a bloated corpse circumventing FFP by being execrable. We'll enjoy this one. This week we salute academy graduate Oliver Skipp, fulfilling his boyhood dream of scoring for Spurs; 13 years in the making. For all the shite that surrounds the game…Stories like Skipp's reminds you that football cannot be tamed. Top 4 is very much on with important games coming up…Just like last year - and even though the injury list makes for unpleasant reading...the team works despite it's lack of frills. Up the Spurs.
"End of the World" after Villa (0-2) they said - but then the Palace away (0-4) victory was so comprehensive, which makes everything strangely the same. Listen close, Tottenham will go to the wire... it will be most absorbing... Arsenal next...most delectable. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
We're back, the World Cup was wonderful, but the world really knows what time it is... and the Premier league is all that anyone could wish for...until you draw 2-2 with Brentford... The Hackney Marshes maestros talk the World Cup shinning lights and what it takes to beat off the attentions of Chelsea, Manchester United, and Arsenal. We're in store for a wild few weeks. Don't get scared now! follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
This week it was Tottenham's turn to feel the wrath of the scourge of top flight football: VAR. We chat through the advertising potential of VAR adbreaks and why 60 second countdowns are the answer with fireworks and dancing ferrets. We discuss playing a weakened team against Newcastle United (1-2) which backfired horribly in a match which consisted of the fewest minutes of ball-in-play in Premier League history and then we set our sights on our home fixture against Sporting Lisbon (1-1) taking Group D down to the wire where all 4 teams could qualify next week in the final game. We lavish praise upon Bryan Gil and Rodrigo Bentancur because they are Gods of hellfire. To the Velodrome!!! follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com Support the show: https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Arsenal, Frankfurt and Brighton. 352's, 1st Saint Marco Regiment and Gian Piero Ventrone. Frankfurt and Everton at home. ticking over nicely. follow us @TottenhamChron IG: tottchron E: tottenham.chronicles@gmail.com https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles buymeacoffee.com/tottenhamcv
Sporting Lisbon sucker punch (2-0) and a Leicester City mauling (6-2)... On track firmly, we are.
2-2 v Chelsea. We ate turd for 90minutes and stole a point from Satan's clammy and mostly dead clutches. We discuss, hair pulling, Cuti cutting Havertz in half, evil, spitting on Eric Dier's shorts, Rich-snarlison, vomit, the absurd ambidextrousness of Perisic, the soon to become crowd favourite Bissouma and the enduring and flailing menace of bottom placed Manchester United. Become a patron: https://patron.podbean.com/tottenhamchronicles Keep our show free...by giving us some Money. To save us from Bollock shaving Ponzi schemes. Enjoy the show.
It was the 1st game of the 2022/23 season and Tottenham appear to be cooking. Southampton wilted 4-1 to a Spurs team that had purpose, poise and an unrelenting appetite to tenderise. Ahem. We the turn our attention to Chelsea in the 2nd game of the season at Stamford Bridge aka "The Dark Shrine of fallen idols" full of unheralded confidence; and that's not something you can often say in the last 20 years. Become a patron of the show today...for no bonus content whatsoever!!! It just helps to pay for highlighter pens. Yep, I do use them. Cheers The Tottenham Chronicles team.
This is the most comfortable transfer window in recent memory: UCL qualification, an incredible group of players that is being bolstered daily by assassins and a manager that brings the pain...and as for everyone else they are recovering from Ryan Mason's wedding piss up! We talk Richarlison, Perisic and Bissouma and how the art of deception is Conté's secret weapon.
Nuno Espirito Santo, Pacos de Ferreira, Antonio Conte and NS Mura; this season has been a wild ride comprising of pain, hardship and more pain, but inexplicably we are now 90 minutes away from Champions league football. Soccerball, eh? Our best night ever against our made up arch rivals and ill-conceived Arsenal followed by a dry Burnley match ( did you really expect anything less?) culminating in an Arsenal gut drop for the ages against Newcastle which sets up a final match of the season against an already relegated Norwich…what could possibly go wrong? But if it all goes right...some of the best attacking talent in the World will be representing in the World's finest knock out competition...or it might be Eddy Nketiah!!! We are building right! UP the Spurs.!
It's a winner takes all (perhaps) in the penultimate, penultimate match of the season between 4th and 5th to maybe decide who will go into the prequalifying rounds of a competition that neither team can possibly win. Oh, this one is for the ages alright. It's a match as big as the 1991 FA Cup semi final at Wembley...and 5 years since Arsenal finished above Spurs in the league. Can Tottenham survive the might of Rob Holding, Elneny, Cedric Soares and Eddy Nketiah? This is the biggest, albeit spuriously rearranged, game for Spurs since 2019... Take it all. #coys
© 2020-2025 Ivy Podcast Discovery LLC
