Dad Syndicate

What practical steps can you take to discover and uncover the man you are capable of being, and actually start living at your very best? As the year comes to a close it is time to take action, and if you are already doing that, time to step it up a gear. Let's take a deeper look at the impact that organising your environment, minimising your consumption, optimising your action, analysing your ethos or code of honor regularly and synthesising all these aspects can have on our lives if we commit to the process and remain consistent. My bet is that the impact will be so significant you won't recognise the man in the mirror before long.

Whether it is surfing, jiu-jitsu, mountain biking, or more importantly being a father and husband, rolling with it, as opposed to fighting against an opponent, the trail, the wave or the members of our family, and depleting our strength and damaging our connection, is the more effective way to approach most of life's challenges. Understanding that when you start stepping in and up life won't simply get easier, but you will be more prepared to meet those challenges is also essential to being consistent and to keeping on going even when results and goals seem far off. The Navy Seals have a great saying: Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast. So choose the sure and steady path towards your vision of the life you are capable of experiencing.

Money? Status? Prestige? Attractiveness? Sex? Knowledge? Skill? Something deeper? Progress towards your goals? Towards being just that little bit better? A little more self-controlled? Disciplined. What are the yardsticks you use to measure your success in life? What emotions go along with the outward rewards? What is your thought life like? Let's delve deeper into what makes life meaningful and gives us as individuals a sense of well-being and purpose.

Using symbols can be very powerful, and although it may seem hackneyed, cliched and even cheesy, the image of a lion can inspire many things in a man and father. From the way, he languidly swaggers across the savannah, to his apparently laid-back approach to life, his ability to let his little ones nip at his ears and climb all over him, and then get up and completely savage a hyena to protect the pride when he needs to, there are many ways in which we can emulate these majestic animals. Joshua and Tom go deep on the metaphor and then delve into what we are really here on earth for and where we can find true contentment and life: in deep and meaningful connection with the people in our lives and nature, without all the noise and unnecessary things that end up weighing us down and stealing our joy...just like a lion!

Today Joshua and Tom delve into a subject that is a little uncomfortable for grown men who find themselves venting at small human beings that they had a part in bringing into the world. When you think of it, it really is strange to find yourself moaning, complaining, scolding or shouting at our children. It should raise a lot of questions about ourselves. Why? What could it possibly achieve? Have we ever taught our children how to behave and function as we want them to or believe best for them and the rest of the family? Where does this anger come from? How much is down to our own neglect of our mental and emotional health? How much does tiredness and giving our energy to other less important people and pursuits result in our lack of patience? We hope to provide some answers to some of the above-mentioned questions and get you thinking about how you can stop yelling at your kids!

“How long are you going to wait before you demand the best for yourself?” In this episode, we really go deep and pull back the veil on what is really going on inside of us as men, and what could be if we are prepared to do the hard yards. We discuss how we like to hide behind a quick "I'm fine" or little catchphrases about our week or get stuck in negative thinking and talk, and how reframing is a powerful technique to turn trouble into triumph. Most importantly the conversation revolves around how we can recognise when we as the complete man show up and how to rescue ourselves from living as half the man we could be, and that is if we are lucky. Each one of us has that very best version of ourselves crying out from down in the bottomless pit for rescuing. Only we can send down the rope and pull him up. Yes, it is going to be an arduous task. But everything of true value always requires that, and there is no nobler task than finding and rescuing your complete self. Gentlemen, we only have this one shot, there is no time to spare. Get listening and then get acting with urgency.

Today Joshua shares his personal journey and the difficult, uncomfortable but increasingly rewarding path that he has chosen to become the very best he is capable of being.

Kyle Carnohsn is 41 years old, a father of 5. and has been married to his wife Whitney for 20 years. He is a fireman, a musician, a skateboarder, and an extremely effective body and mind transformation coach. He started Super Human Fathers as an Instagram account a few years back. He created it in order to hold himself personally accountable to stop behaving like a jerk and take ownership of his faults. Like you and I, Kyle was regularly short with my kids, sarcastic with my wife and lazy around the house. He would use excuses in order to get out of being my best self. “I'm stressed from work” “I need a break. I have anxiety and depression. I just need some relaxation and downtime. But once he really tapped into that true voice, his personal progress in every aspect of life began to skyrocket. No more excuses. No more lying to himself. I started taking full responsibility by taking massive action on the things that mattered most in my life—every minute of every day. On the show today Kyle shares some of the things that he does to keep things at their best and how you too can become a Super Human Father.

Today I am joined by Jonathan Rios of Primal Virtues on the show. Jonathan is a licensed psychotherapist, author & men's coach who is deeply committed to remaining undomesticated. He once bungee jumped over the Nile river, dirt biked through Tanzania, trained in the mountains with a Navy Seal, played Soccer in Northern Ireland and is a military academy graduate. He and his dream girl have fostered 13 teenage boys while also successfully raising 4 daughters of their own. Jonathan's core motivation in life is to live courageously having fulfilled his purpose with excellence. In his free time, he is a blogger, author, and a self-proclaimed mediocre white belt in Jiu-jitsu. He is currently in private practice as a psychotherapist. Jonathan talks about excuses and how they shouldn't keep one from becoming the best one can be, and how surrounding yourself with high-level men. We discuss how important being a man of action and working on the fundamentals are in working against mental health issues, and delve into the virtues that characterise a man of strength and efficacy. Jonathan also lists one of the problems facing modern men is that they are given hand outs and don't work for what they have and that they don't see any growth in themselves, leading to unhappiness and a lack of well-being. We also chat about how our children are always watching us and this is enough motivation to live a life of courage, fortitude and temperance. We hope you get a lot out of this conversation.

Joshua and Tom are back with a brand new adventure into the mental, physical and spiritual well-being and effectiveness of men and more specifically fathers. They share that in spite of all the reading and research and philosophising and dealing with trauma, we still need to make sure we take the practical steps to put us in the position to own all the arenas of our lives.

Today we are joined on the podcast by Alan Smyth. Alan serves as the Executive Director for Saving Innocence, an anti-human trafficking, community-based organization focused on child victims of sex trafficking. Based in Los Angeles, Alan's main focus includes budgeting and resource development, strategic partnerships, staff development and client services. Alan is also the co-author of the book "Men, Fight For Me". It is an authentic and hard-hitting conversation, including the first-hand experiences of victims, about the plight of Human Trafficking in America, specifically child sex trafficking. “Fight For Me” are words he heard directly from a survivor of sex trafficking. Alan's unique view of this tragedy has given him a backstage pass to this horrific exploitation of children. Co-authored by Jessica Midkiff, a survivor of child trafficking, this book speaks directly to the hearts of men and our responsibility to step up and take leadership in the remedy. Alan lists his greatest achievement is being married to Sharon for 37 years and being Dad to Brittany, Trevor & Daughter in law Katy! You can learn more about the work Alan is doing and how we can help serve, empower and advocate for child victims of human trafficking by getting involved with Saving Innocence at www.savinginnocence.org. Check out and get yourself a copy of "Men, Fight For Me" at https://fightforme.net/

"You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks." Winston Churchill. Be crystal clear on where you are going, and identify what things you are allowing to distract you, as well as the stones you are throwing in your own path. Put your head down, block out all the noise and prevail! To start living your best life, join us in THE COMPLETE DAD NETWORK: https://thecompletedad.mn.co/

“If I only had an hour to chop down a tree, I would spend the first 45 minutes sharpening my axe.” – Abraham Lincoln. Knowing when to push harder and when to slow down and recover so that we can show up at our optimal level as men is crucial.

“He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” ― Benjamin Franklin Instead of making excuses for why you can't do what you know is best for you and that you are committed to doing, look for opportunities to get them done and keep your promises to yourself and others. Look for the gaps, look for "dead time" and those things keeping you where you are or worse, dragging you down. Start doing those things that serve you and your family. Stop making excuses.

Today we are fortunate to have a new voice on the podcast! One of the members of The Complete Dad Network, Mitesh Khatri joins us to discuss his journey as a father and how being clear and his vision and values and being accountable to a group of men with a common mission has helped him become a more present, intentional and effective father and husband. Often we think men's groups are exclusively for the down and out, men that are broken or have hit rock bottom, and that they aren't "for us". This is not the case, and Mitesh shares how, even though he was, by most people's standards very successful and performing well in the various arenas of his life, he sensed there was more to his life and experience as a father and husband. This led him to sign up for The Complete Dad Foundation Builder Course and the Network, and he has gone from strength to strength, setting his sights on what really matters, doing the work, having the courage to be vulnerable and committing to accountability. If you would like to know more about The Complete Dad Network, check it out at https://thecompletedad.mn.co/. A new foundation builder course kicks off on September 1st 2022.

“Stop saying those things that make you weak and ashamed. Say only those things that make you strong. Do only those things that you could speak of with honour.” - Jordan Peterson

"You said "us" and in that moment I knew that words were magic." - K. Towne Jr. How often do you see life from the perspective of your children or partner? When do you take a breathe, take a step back and think, "How are they seeing this right now? How are they feeling? And how much do you take these individual perspectives and lives into account in creating a true sense of belonging in your home? How are you working on developing an "us" perspective, where each part does its part to create unity, warmth and support growth? You play a massive role in leading your family to become an "us" instead of merely individuals just looking out for themselves. Creating an "us" is magic.

“It isn't what you have or who you are or where you are or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about it.” ― Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People It is possible to be content in spite of the myriad challenges life throws at us. Yes, each of us has our own unique struggles, but folding our arms, frowning and saying, that's alright for you, but you don't know how it feels to be me, gets us nowhere. Instead, it takes us further into the darkness and makes digging ourselves out even more difficult. It isn't easy. But we signed up to be fathers and I am certain each of us made that decision hoping we would be up to the challenge. Are you? Have you decided to be a strong and reliable leader? When life gets tough and trouble arises, do you react emotionally, or do you respond by making the choice to stand up straight with your shoulders back and see the good in life? “May you live every day of your life.” - Jonathan Swift

Joshua and Tom return to confront the fathers out there who call themselves "Dad" but are unwilling to face the discomfort that comes from confronting the way they are failing to show up, and perpetuate the negative and foolish image of fathers in society. We can all take a good look in the mirror and choose not to take the easy way out and cruise through life, but rather live an extraordinary life as extraordinary Dads. And the mere fact that we see really showing up as extraordinary is in and of itself an indictment on the current view of fathers.

"You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside." Wayne Dyer Letting go of the need to control things is one of the biggest steps to living a more fullfilled, tranquil and contented life. And doing it is also one of the biggest contributors to being a loving father and husband. Control less. Let go more. Enjoy life. "We can have peace if we let go of wanting to change the past and wanting to control the future." Lester Levenson

"Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world." - Lucille Ball Before we fulfil our true potential we need to learn to truly love ourselves. Lack of self-esteem is at the root of so many of our problems and the reason we struggle to genuinely love others. We tend to look for esteem from others to make us feel good enough, that we have what it takes. But this will never lead to a genuine sense of self-worth. We need to take the time and be brutally honest with ourselves to deal with the thoughts and beliefs and wounds that we often tend to ignore for the sake of creating counterfeit confidence and bravado. We need to accept our weaknesses and reframe them as areas for growth. We need to take responsibility for doing the work to develop real self-respect and to love our families in a way that nurtures their progress toward the spiritual growth that then facilitates them having a positive self image and esteem.

Parenting is not easy, but it is up to us make fatherhood as enjoyable and rewarding as possible. When we are intentional and present, and open-minded, we recognise opportunities to bond with our children on a deep and meaningful level. We also give ourselves the opportunity to learn new things and do activities we might have long forgotten or relegated to our childhood. Not only does doing things together with our children deepen the connection, but also increases the role we are able to have in the later years of childhood and as our children become adults. We create a sense of belonging in our homes and the family bonds that protect our children from constantly needing and seeking the approval of others and the pitfalls that can be associated with this. When we decided to have children, we made a commitment to being fathers in every sense of the word, and it is up to us to make being a dad the priority it should be. Let's make it as fun and enjoyable as possible. You only get one shot.

“I have come home at last! This is my real country! I belong here. This is what I have been looking for all my life, though I never knew it till now.” - C.S. Lewis. How often do you find yourself feeling a true sense of deep belonging? How many times do you find yourself seeking approval or trying to fit in with people or groups of people where you have denied who you really are, or what you really want? We have a foundational need to belong. To have deep meaningful relationships and experiences. To be in places that fill us with that sense of belonging and home. It is no wonder we are ill at ease and continually seeking and searching for fulfilment and contentment when we spend so much time physically, as well as in our minds with people and in places where we don't belong. The more we identify where and with whom we belong, the more we can start spending more time and energy there and less time in places and with people that contribute to a sense of disconnectedness and an endless striving. When we as fathers have a deep sense of belonging, we can create a home where the atmosphere is warm and loving and grants our kids a start in life fueled by a deep sense of belonging. We can help them follow their passions and true hearts' desires, and they can go through life without the constant need for the approval of others and to fit in with people and do things that do not feed their souls and add to their joy. “We belonged to each other, but had lived so far apart that we belonged to others now. Squatters, and only squatters, were the true claimants to our lives.” - Andre Aciman.

“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us.” - Marcus Aurelius Being outraged at things you see, hear and read might make you feel better for a second, but does it actually solve the problem? Of course not. It is like drinking poison and thinking the other person is going to get sick. Let's do ourselves and our families a favour and check our reactions to people, events and circumstances and create a home atmosphere and ethos that supports love, kindness, security and calm through becoming more tranquil and wise fathers.

"When people appear to be something other than good and decent, it is only because they are reacting to stress, pain, or the deprivation of basic human needs such as security, love, and self-esteem." - Abraham Maslow Before we can endeavour to reach our full potential we need to take care of our basic human needs for security and safety. And this comes in the form of Physical, Emotional and Financial safety and security. We need to become more aware of how we are taking care of our own needs in their arenas first so that we can ensure our children grow up experiencing a profound sense of security that they belong, are loved deeply, are physically safe and cared for, and that their material needs will be met. Without this need for safety and security being met, living our best lives is impossible.

How well do you really know yourself? Is what you are pursuing really what you want or in line with the things you value most in life? In this episode Bert, Joshua and Tom look at these questions and how to get more clear on what really leads us to live a fulfilled and contented life. What are we teaching our children through our example when it comes to following the herd and trying to fit in and please other people. We need to carve our own path and stop sacrificing who we truly are by following what others say and do. We need to spend time getting to know ourselves intimately and teaching our children to do the same so that we and them find the places and people where we belong and can flourish.

This week we start looking at our needs and how we can use Maslow's Hierarchy of needs to help us to make sure we have our foundational needs met before we embark on self-actualization. We start at the bottom of the pyramid: Our physiological needs, and specifically rest and sleep, and just how important they are to showing up as we want to as fathers and men in general.

How do you respond when you see or hear reports of other people "doing bad things" or "making mistakes", especially when that person is "high profile" or "fails" on the big stage? Are you quick to react and take sides? To label their behaviour as good or bad? Do you sit in judgement of these people? Or do you use events to help you reflect on yourself, your approach to others and most importantly on your own areas for growth and development? We can choose how we are impacted by what happens around us and what other people do. We can reflect and learn, or we can react emotionally and judge.

How can we set ourselves up to handle the pressures of life? How do we make sure we are getting the time to recalibrate and rest so that we can show up as we wish with our families. There are so many moving parts to fatherhood and being able to increase intentionality, self-awareness in respect to each aspect is vital, as is developing the communication skills with our wives and partners to support each other Effectively and lighten the old for each other. Things are not going to slow down, and our enjoyment and satisfaction in life will not increase if we don't learn to face the pressures of life with a strong plan and specific guidelines. We don't want to spend our days spinning our wheels, stressed and worn out.

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. ~ Carl Jung

This is an excellent episode that looks into many challenges we face as fathers and the way we lead, teach and connect with our children. Our children need us to help them navigate their way into adulthood without all the baggage and the many wounds we have all acrued as a result of our childhood. With the ever increasing impact of social media and the tendency of many parents to be overinvolved in certain aspects and absent in others, it is more important than ever to become the complete men we are capable of being and develop the relationships that allow and encourage our children to come to us with the hard questions. We are the primary educators of our children, and we need to be at our best to fullfill that role as effectively as possible.

This weekend I contracted the coronavirus, as did my kids... Naturally, it has been a challenge and I have been feeling pretty bad the last couple of days. I decided that instead of focusing on the fever and discomfort, I would try and see if I could learn something from the experience and check the perspectives I have, from my core values to the time I wasted consuming media about the virus, to my ability to surrender and accept the symptoms and do what is in my control to get healthy again. This is just one of the many hurdles and challenges I will have to face as a father and so these lessons can mostly be applied to other life circumstances.

"Men who have lived significant lives are men who never waited: not for money, security, ease, or women. Feel what you want to give most as a gift, to your woman and to the world, and do what you can to give it today." - David Deida: The Way of the Superior Man I'm tired. I'm too busy. I don't feel like it. It is uncomfortable. I need this. I want that. AND... What would "The Superior Man" do?

“ Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.” – John Lennon. ...or worrying about the future, regretting the past, holding on to anger or just being swept away by your mind and emotions.

“We see that substance addictions are only one specific form of blind attachment to harmful ways of being, yet we condemn the addict's stubborn refusal to give up something deleterious to his life or to the life of others. Why do we despise, ostracize and punish the drug addict, when as a social collective, we share the same blindness and engage in the same rationalizations?” ― Gabor Maté, In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction What are you addicted to? What are you trying to numb or escape from? Why do you have this pain or discomfort or sense of discontent?

How much of what you occupy your mind with, expend emotion and energy on is actually of benefit to you and your family? And how often do the things that are truly important end up paying the price? We can get so caught up with things happening in the world, without first taking care of our first and foremost responsibility: home. First, make sure you have your house in order, then go and save the world. But when you do, check that what you are doing is in fact having a positive impact, and isn't like shouting in a hurricance.

How often do we find ourselves buying things we don't really need? Somehow we fool ourselves into believing our next "happy purchase" will fill a void and make us feel better. But eventually the dopamine rush subsides, and in all likelihood what we just bought ends up cluttering up our lives or goes out in the trash. We don't only do this with material things we buy. We use all kinds of things and activities in the hope they will make us feel better, and find ourselves getting into a neverending consumer loop. It is far more satisfying in the long run to produce and take the difficult route of digging deeper to connect with our true needs and desires.

“Each night, when I go to sleep, I die. And the next morning, when I wake up, I am reborn.” ― Mahatma Gandhi Every morning provides us with another opportunity for a new start, to be "reborn", just as every night allows us to reflect, draw a line under the events, thoughts and emotions of the day and "die". What do you want to let die? What do you wish to see be born and rise from within you as you awaken from this short "death"? What do you want to stop doing? What do you want to start doing, thinking and feeling? How do you want to connect more deeply and effectively with the people in your lives? What behaviours and words are having a negative impact on your relationships? Each night we can take inventory of our lives and be intentional about the changes we wish to make, so that when morning comes we are ready to make those strides forward towards the lmen we are capable of being and the life we wish to live.

Sometimes we need to sacrifice one thing for another. At times we need to stand our ground and die on that hill. BUT very often we don't have to make a choice for one thing OR another, we can make a choice for this AND that. We can have one perspective, but be willing to listen to another. Instead of saying OR so often, lets start to say AND more.

Be the most "there" dad for your kids. When you are with your family, really be there, mentally and emotionally. It is easy to say we love our family, but putting aside less important things and really focusing on the most significant people in our lives is what says we love them far louder.

Showing up as our best selves is an admirable goal, and being strong, dependable fathers and husbands give immense meaning and purpose to our lives and the work we do on ourselves. Many of us have been conditioned to "suck it up", "man up" and in effect bury our emotions. Of course there are times and situations that require this of us, but this should not be our default when things get overwhelming. Many of us believe that admitting we are struggling, or having emotional needs makes us look weak. We feel very uncomfortable being vulnerable, talking to others about our struggles or admitting that we are not really handling everything life is throwing us. We owe it to ourselves and our family to pay attention to our mental health and take action when we notice we are taking too much strain. Taking our mental health seriously is a vital part of becoming the complete dad.

We have all heard people say "life goes on" as a way to remind themselves that indeed when things go awry or when they experience loss or frustration, life continues. This helps us not get weighed down by the past and move beyond hurt and pain and disappointment. But I believe keeping in mind that eventually, life doesn't go on and that keeping in mind death is certain for us all, helps remind us to live in the moment, to appreciate what we have and not take for granted our children. They will never be the same as they are now. Nothing will ever come together as it is right now. So live it while you can. So instead of wasting life worrying, being angry and living with regret, let's make each day the adventure it can be...along with the ups and downs.

“Most of what we say and do is not necessary, and its omission would save both time and trouble. At every step, therefore, a man should ask himself, 'Is this one of the things that are superfluous?' Moreover, not idle actions only but even idle impressions ought to be suppressed; for the unnecessary action will not ensue.” - Marcus Aurelius How much time, energy and mind space do we give to unnecessary pursuits, things and thoughts? How much are you carrying that is needlessly weighing you down, making an already challenging existence even more difficult. How much have you "packed" into your life, so that little space remains for what could make a positive difference? How much space is left for what truly matters? Carry less, and see how that frees you up to live more.

“How much more harmful are the consequences of anger…than the circumstances that aroused them in us.” - Marcus Aurelius What actually "makes" us angry? Telling the difference between stimuli that trigger an emotional reaction and the actual root causes of our anger, and then following a four-step process, can help us to fully express our anger in a way that fosters strong communication and deeper connection with others.

As we all know, life can get exceptionally busy and we can feel like we are being pushed from pillar to post. And with the way the world is moving and technology is developing it seems that things will only speed up. That is why it is imperative that we take time to slow down, stop and allow ourselves time to become more aware of the needs of our children, instead of reacting to their external behaviour while we rush around amid the noise of daily life. When check-in with them and how they are feeling and the real underlying causes, we are able to be empathetic to their needs and figure out more of the mystery that lies within each of our children. It is no easy task, but becoming more intentional and present in our interactions with our children, bares incredible fruit and deepest the connection they have with us and most importantly themselves and their emotions.

When we evaluate the behaviours that don't line up with our goals, vision and core values we tend to label them as bad or wrong. It helps to reframe these actions as not meeting our needs instead, and in turn, look at what it is that we as men genuinely need and what actions will meet them. This takes away the guilt, shame or disappointment with ourselves and reinforcement of negative self-concepts and enables us to move forward with purpose and positive energy to make the necessary changes to meet our needs and then as a result the needs of the important people in our lives and beyond.

Reading books, listening to podcasts, following personal development leaders or being part of a movement, are all good for building our knowledge and skills. Strong and successful men and women we look up to give us values and character and actions to emulate while we develop our own inner compass and ability to take ownership of our lives. Buying into a brand can help inspire and motivate us, make us feel like we are part of something bigger. But there needs to come a time when we take all we have learned and practised and find what works best for us and our unique personalities and temperament and set of circumstances. We need to find our own path. Stand on our own two feet. It is the only way we can become all that we are capable of being. Trying to be another version of someone else is a poor way to spend ones life, when being the best version of ourselves is waiting to bring us the contentment and joy we seek, and serves those around us best

Your greatest adversary and your greatest ally is yourself. Trying to control all the circumstances and people around you and thinking this will bring the results you want is a waste of time and energy. Let's rather put our focus on figuring out which pieces are "on each side of our board", and what moves are going to strengthen or weaken our position. Let's recognise the unutilised pieces left that are just waiting to show up for us, and identify those pieces we have to stop from wreacking havoc in our lives and preventing us from being the men we are capable of being. Whether it is the long or short game, taking the time to think, be intentional and self-aware sets us up for victory in every aspect of our lives. Learning to conquer ourselves is job number one.

This rebroadcast of my truly impactful and honest conversation with Bert Sorin. Bert is currently the President and Co-Owner of Sorinex Exercise Equipment, a very successful family run business founded by his father, Richard. He is a true inspirer and connector of men who are on a mission to be the best version of themselves.In this episode we talk about how success in life doesn't happen by accident: good fathers are not born, they are made. Bert discusses how is up to each one of us to make the hard decisions and be willing to sacrifice in order to show up in ways that set our kids up for a fulfilling and meaningful life. He challenges us to recognise that allthough we might think that these sacrifices bring pain and discomfort, the fact is that they almost always lead to far greater satisfaction than momentary pleasures, ego driven behaviors and just going with the flow. Bert also shares his journey he has taken to being the man and father he is today and the value of admitting weakness and that realizing we aren't "the man" is what plays a big part us in actually moving closer to being the man of value, humility and grit we should be aspiring to be. It is an entertaining, honest and inspiring conversation, that will leave you with many takeaways to apply immediately as a husband, father and friend.

I often see, mostly in retrospect, how my lack of effective communication skills not only doesn't resolve conflict or situations, but in fact leads to further negativity, wasted time and energy and strained relationships. Learning how to effectively communicate with our children and doing so in a self-aware and intentional manner is essential for creating the connection with our children that will allow us to be influential in their lives as understanding and turst are developed. Our own state of mind is pivotal in communicating effectively and lovingly with our kids, who are the most important people to us in the world. Slowing down, taking a breath, observing the situation first lays the foundation for then identifying feelings and true needs and hearing their requests in a calm and clear manner. As fathers we too need to learn to express our own feelings and needs. We need to slow down and make our requests clear and understood in a way that brings our children into deeper relationship with us, where they feel loved and understood and a part of decisions. Effective communication is an art, and often we tend to practise it in the workplace or with friends, but struggle in the home where it is most important. We all know what it was like when adults talk at us, make demands and have no time or patience to listen to us. Let's be different with our own children.

How often do we find ourselves saying, "I can't wait until this ends, then I will finally be able to do x, y or z? How common is it to hear people hoping for something to happen or arrive for them to get going? Hope is a beautiful thing when it drives us onward and helps us to find the strength to push through hard times. But it can also make us place our future happiness and success in things out of our control. We find ourselves waiting for the pandemic to end, that job to come around, that extra bit of cash to come in so we can finally pay off that car or house. We live in hope of things improving and getting better, and circumstances changing. We think reaching certain goals are going to satisfy us and overcoming hurdles are going to lead to a time of less tress and fewer challenges. But there is always the mext hill or mountain waiting to be climb. So we need to become stronger and more effective and present climbers, who embrace the struggles and use them to grow.