How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine

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Join hosts Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel for a comedy podcast about surviving the things that could kill you and the stuff that just makes you wish you were dead.

Danielle Koenig & Kristine Kimmel


    • Apr 29, 2025 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 9m AVG DURATION
    • 186 EPISODES

    Ivy Insights

    The How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine podcast is an absolute gem for those looking for a mix of practical advice and humor in the face of disasters. Hosted by Danielle and Kristine, along with producer Garden Squirrel, this show brings on a guest each week to share insights on how to survive both natural and unnatural calamities. Whether you're seeking useful tips or just some distraction from life's impending crises, this podcast delivers it all.

    What makes this podcast truly stand out are the moments that will leave you laughing until your sides hurt. Episodes 23 and 19 are particularly hilarious, nearly making one listener sick from laughter. The comedic chemistry between Danielle and Kristine is unmatched, making every episode a joy to listen to. Their banter and funny anecdotes create a light-hearted atmosphere that can brighten even the worst days of "humaning."

    However, it's not just the humor that sets this podcast apart; there's also valuable information packed into each episode. Listeners rave about learning practical survival skills while being entertained. From knowing how to use a LifeHammer to navigating various threats, this show imparts knowledge that can potentially save lives. It strikes the perfect balance between educational content and comedic relief.

    One minor complaint some listeners have is the occasional absence of Garon, the producer known as Garden Squirrel. While his appearances are sporadic, he adds an extra layer of entertainment when he does participate in episodes. Some fans hope to hear more from him in future episodes.

    In conclusion, The How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine podcast is an absolute delight for anyone who enjoys a documentary-style vibe mixed with funny hosts. With fascinating stories from guests and the incredible rapport between Danielle and Kristine, this show offers a unique listening experience that leaves listeners both informed and entertained. Whether you're in need of practical survival advice or simply want a good laugh during your day, this podcast is a must-listen.



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    Latest episodes from How To Survive with Danielle & Kristine

    Rob Kutner - HTS A Collapsing Bridge & A Collapsing Government

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2025 70:02


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a collapsing bridge and Rob Kutner is here to talk about the time he had to deal with an official of a collapsing government. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive An Elephant Attack

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 22, 2025 58:55


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a deadly elephant attack and talk about the shows and movies they've been watching.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Olivia Flood-Wylie - HTS Deadly Mushrooms & Hallucinations

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 15, 2025 63:33


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive consuming a deadly mushroom and Olivia Flood-Wylie joins us to talk about a time she was dealing with hallucinations. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive A Public Scandal

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2025 70:00


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a public scandal and catch up on everything going on in life! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Drew Droege - HTS Wild Boars & Wild Bars

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 1, 2025 74:47


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive vicious wild boars and Drew Droege joins us to share some crazy times at his local wild bar! Listen to extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jo McGinley - HTS Magical Thinking & Being A Magician's Assistant

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 25, 2025 63:23


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being a magical thinker and Jo McGinley joins us to share her experiences as a magician's assistant! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive A Horse Bonus Episode

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 18, 2025 119:14


    This week Danielle, Kristine, and Garon are off so in lieu of a new episode enjoy one of our Patreon bonus episodes! This one is pretty infamous already. Hear more bonus episodes plus extended versions of regular episodes at our Patreon: PodcastHowtoSurvive! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive The World's Deadliest Bird

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2025 59:46


    This week Danielle and Kristine catch up on the week's adventures and learn how to survive the world's deadliest bird!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Janette Timm Vico - HTS A Break From Reality & Spring Break

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 4, 2025 85:17


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the country's current reality and Janette Timm Vico joins us to tell us all about her ill-timed trip to Greece.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Kevin Pollak - HTS The Mother of All Caffeine & Mothers

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2025 65:51


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive new methods of consuming absurd amounts of caffeine and Kevin Pollak joins us to enlighten us about his mom. Get extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive Being Roofied

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 18, 2025 65:34


    This week Danielle and Kristine and Garon gather via Zoom in the midst of some sick hosts to learn how to survive being roofied!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Stephen Kearin - HTS A Creative Block & Creating A Language

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 11, 2025 72:13


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a bout of Writer's Block and Stephen Kearin joins us to share the story of how he helped create Simlish!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Susie Geiser - How To Survive Deathtraps!

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 4, 2025 82:07


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a series of deathtraps and Susie Geiser joins us to share her experience working on a production of the play, Deathtrap!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Julie Mann - HTS Radicalization & Dealing With Radical People

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2025 68:16


    This week Danielle and Kristine (and Matt Belknap sitting in for Garon) learn how to survive radicalization of a loved one and Julie Mann joins us to share her poorly timed trip traveling in the Middle East. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive Ticks!

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 21, 2025 56:18


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive ticks and do a little catching up about life, fires, and entertainment! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How We're Surviving Wildfires

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 14, 2025 42:30


    This week Danielle, Kristine, and Garon record via zoom to talk about the impact the Los Angeles Wild Fires are having and how we're doing. To help those impacted by the fires, please visit CA.Gov or the American Red Cross. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Oliver Pardo - HTS Office Politics & A Political Trip

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 31, 2024 71:47


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive office politics and Oliver Pardo joins us to tell us about the time he went on a Youth & Government trip.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    How To Survive Bed Bugs

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 24, 2024 65:08


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive Bed Bugs and the gang talk about new puppies, Nicole Kidman, and more! Check our Patreon for extended episodes!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Maddie Taylor - HTS A Transcontinental Flight & Transitioning

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2024 75:51


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a long international flight and Maddie Taylor joins us to share her experience from the early days of her transition. Get extended episodes on our Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Benny Blue - HTS Poop!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2024 66:57


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive that thing everybody does: poop and Benny Blue joins us to share his own childhood experience with an unexpected poop. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Regan Burns - HTS Prison & Jail

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2024 77:00


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a stint in prison and Regan Burns returns to share his experience spending a night in jail!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Rose Abdoo - HTS Faking Your Death & Faking Cat Love

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 26, 2024 75:54


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive faking your own death and Rose Abdoo joins us to share her story cat sitting when she was not at all a pet person. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Solange Castro - HTS Being A Porn Star & Working For A Porn King

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 85:13


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a new career in porn and Solange Castro joins us to talk about the year she worked for Larry Flynt. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Hillary Anne Matthews - How To Survive Facebook

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2024 68:08


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive Facebook and Hillary Anne Matthews joins us to share how she survived a Facebook Marketplace sale. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Matt Weinhold - HTS Big Brother & A Big Brother

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 5, 2024 71:35


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the watchful eyes of Big Brother and Matt Weinhold returns to recount his experiences growing up with his big brother. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jackie Kashian - HTS Nightmares & a Nightmare Situation

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 29, 2024 76:56


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive those pesky nightmares and Jackie Kashian returns to share her nightmare of falling ill in Bakersfield. Get extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Blaine Capatch - HTS Swatting & Being On A Prank Show

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 22, 2024 54:11


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the potentially deadly prank of swatting and Blaine Capatch returns to share his experience being a part of a prank show!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Chris Grace - How To Survive Deception

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2024 66:42


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive someone deceiving you and Chris Grace is back to share a story about surviving a time that he was doing the deceiving. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Brandie Posey - HTS Being Fired & Putting Out A Fire

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2024 66:25


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive being fired from your job and Brandie Posey returns to share the time she put out a fire near a dry forest. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Alex Alexander - HTS A Dead Butt & A Blind Date

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 1, 2024 69:56


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive Dead Butt Syndrome and Alex Alexander returns to share her experience with getting set up on a blind date. Find extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Hugh Fink - HTS High Cholesterol & The State Fair

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2024 74:09


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the dangers of high cholesterol and Hugh Fink joins us to share some stories from the times he attended the Indiana State Fair growing up. Listen to extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Brendan Smith - How To Survive An Earthquake

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2024 60:01


    This week Danielle and Kristine dive back into surviving Earthquakes and Brendan Smith joins us to share his experience with the 1994 Northridge Earthquake. Listen to extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jamie Kaler - HTS Your First Time High & First Year of High School

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2024 61:36


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive your first time getting high on marijuana and Jamie Kaler joins us to share his experiences with a bully in his Freshman year of high school. Listen to extended episodes on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Mike Henry - HTS Electric Eels & An Electrifying Encounter

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2024 58:57


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive an electric eel and Mike Henry returns to share an exciting encounter with a very special board game player. Join our Patreon for extended episodes!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Murray Valeriano - How To Survive Happy Hour

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 58:21


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a happy hour and Murray Valeriano is back to share a story about a Christmas Eve happy hour that didn't turn out well. Listen to the extended version on Patreon!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jen Kober - How To Survive Cruise Ships

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2024 58:55


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a cruise ship and Jen Kober joins us to share a story about taking her mother along for the ride when she worked on a gay cruise. Join our Patreon for extended episodes! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Just Us - How To Survive Sepsis

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2024 59:46


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive sepsis and talk about all sorts of stuff including the Kris' new houseguest!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Tammy Golden - HTS Anaphylactic Shock & Shockingly Bad Landlords

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 6, 2024 68:12


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive Anaphylactic Shock and we are joined by Tammy Golden to hear about her shocking experiences with some terrible landlords. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Dannah Phirman - How To Survive Childhood Trauma

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 57:47


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive the effects of a traumatic childhood and Dannah Phirman joins us to share her own experience with trauma and turning it into a TV pilot. Join our Patreon for Extended Episodes!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Steve Szlaga - HTS Mid Life & Middle Child Syndrome

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2024 71:47


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive middle age and Steve Szlaga joins us to talk about growing up as a middle child.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Off Week

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2024 0:17


    We are off this week so no new episode but we will be back next week with a brand new How To Survive! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Sharon Houston - HTS Isolation & Horrible Neighbors - Extended Edition

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 9, 2024 74:39


    We're on vacation this week so please enjoy an extended version of a classic How To Survive! Get every episode extended by joining our Patreon at Patreon.com/podcasthowtosurvive!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Becky Feldman - HTS Problems With Your Nether Regions

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2024 74:54


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive Genital Herpes and Becky Feldman joins us to share her own experience with issues in the nether regions. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Ashleigh Hairston - HTS Foreign Invasion & Foreign Interaction

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2024 77:46


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a hostile foreign invasion and Ashleigh Hairston joins us to share her experience visiting Windsor Castle! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    DeAnne Smith - HTS Being Hit By A Train & Kicked Out Of Your House

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2024 74:09


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive getting hit by a train and DeAnne Smith joins us to share a time that they lived in Mexico and were kicked out of their home!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Just Us - How To Survive Spontaneous Combustion

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 63:16


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive spontaneous combustion plus the gang discusses weekend plans, TV, and Covid! See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Pamela Murphy - How to Survive Dumb Ways To Die

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 4, 2024 70:01


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a few dumb ways you can be killed and Pamela Murphy joins us to share her experience surviving breast cancer. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Matt Knudsen - HTS Messed Up Head & A Messed Up Situation

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2024 67:43


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a skull fracture and Matt Knudsen joins us to share a story about a messed up situation he got into in the wilds of Mobile, Alabama. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Just Us - How To Survive A Police Chase

    Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2024 54:56


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive getting caught up in a police chase. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Jimmy Pardo - HTS Obsessive Love Disorder & Being Obsessed With Sports

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2024 68:02


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive suffering from Obsessive Love Disorder and Jimmy Pardo returns to share some stories of his childhood sports adventures. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

    Sierra Katow - HTS A Hostile Work Environment & European Hostels

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 66:14


    This week Danielle and Kristine learn how to survive a hostile work place and Sierra Katow joins us to share some experiences with accommodations while traveling in Europe.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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