Reality Asylum

Over one hundred hours of recorded material and it all comes down to this. Forget Frost Nixon, it's RA Noble. Merry Christmas from the boys.

Back with the CRISP wireless internet connection and a full hour from Kansas where Jord can't feel his legs. All the usual heaters are here, plus friends new & old. Shift into your DR of a new RA episode where Fred Again got you pregnant.

Fair warning - this episode is a total mess from an audio perspective. I couldn't even get the intro music to work. We're dealing with wifi connection issues not yet known to man. Anyway you wanna hear what music we listened to this year, some audio gold from youtube, some on-air planning for future episodes? Jord's audio continually dropping out on me so he talks to himself for most of the episode? We got you.

Nashville - The Home Of Music and also Podcasts Where Two People Argue About Whether The Strokes Are Good In 2022. Rehashing the argument about how many guitars a band needs, the embarrassment of being in a cancelled 00's indie group in '22, Twitter, Musk, Zelensky, All The Members Of The RA Whack Pack. See you down the road partner.

First ep of the TourCast: Lookin' out the window and enjoying some fall colors :)))))))

6 weeks late on the RIPs / Premier League Numerology / Masc-coded Nukes / AI Art / Zzzelensky in the Jjjounds

Buy the pigeon bag.

Every -ist and every -ism explored in one handy 60 minute package. Get the up to date information on whether wanting to have children aligns you with the forces of good or evil, hear an excerpt from Jord's Hinge, gasp in wonder at another horrifying NFT genocide scam. Jam on your BUT HER EMAILS cap and ride the wave with us.

All you can do after a month off from the pod is have a sit down and shoot the breeze about Star Wars Musical Genres, Whether Or Not Jord Is Irish, Barack Obama Plaza, Jim Carrey on Mussolini, BookTok, and so on ad nauseum.

Grab your rosemary beads it's Lockheed Martin presents REALITY ASYLUM!

Despite what I said in the episode there are still funny parts after Crocs Monsieur. Berghain Fit Check / Concrete Warehaus / Jord's Story Staircase / Twin Peaks Black Lodge Denizens / If I Only Could I'd Make A Deal With Fat Wreck Chords / Zelensky Mode

A lazy Sunday morning recording to cover Presidential assassinations, general elections, storming palaces, Hideo Kojima misinformation, the latest in pheromones, and our prayers and blessings thanks to our new sponsors at HALLOW.

Part 2 of 2 of the monthly round up. Tick Talk. Berlin Clubbers Delight. Self Help. Mndlr. Meeting Your Future Self On The U-Bahn. Effective Altruism. Butchery. Gen-Z. The Sausage Man NEVER Sleeps.

Part 1 of a Twofer feat. some of the RA GOATS; NFTS? COINS? HOLOGRAMS? HUMAN GOO MATHEMATICS? YOU WANT IT - WE GOT IT. Part two of a month long round up next week.

It's been a few weeks and in the meantime we lost an episode to the digital void. This one survived and is almost as good. Lost Episode Recap / Dudes Rock versus Smart Dude Movie Corner / Jord's Berlin Vlogs Pt. II / Are Restaurants Communist? Are Communists Clout Monsters? / SpOrTsBaLl ;P / $BIGCOIN

We do not give Elon Musk or any entities associated with Twitter permission to use our pictures, information, messages or posts, both past and future. If you do not publish a statement at least once it will be tactically allowing the use of your info. DO NOT SHARE. COPY AND PASTE.

Another dose of euro-visions; Football Norms / Small Talk Norms / Kebab Norms / Hooters Open / Lecture Field Recordings / The Wind In The Willows? / Twitter Main Character Of The Year / Pansexual Carpenter / Separatist State Eurovision Song Contest 2022 / Fidel "Luxury Watch Charity" Castro

Black Bomber Jackets Mandatory for entry. If I don't write the recap down as soon as we make the episode there's no chance I remember what we talked about. Tschüss!

Fair warning, this is both the first of the "Jord's Berlin Months" episodes AND one of the most rambling inane ones we've ever done. Listen at your own risk / no refunds.

Le Loba soap & Shamrock Shakes bring you REALITY ASYLUM 81; last of the Kenilworth Vibes: Best East London Toilet / The Sound of Silence / Birmingham Alt Scene / Command & Conquer Corner / Did I Write An Emo Banger / Mumfordscore / Trump on Putin / Trump on Golf / Organised Beaches

Close your eyes and enter a past life recession meditation state for an hour with your guides, Luke & Jord. Covered: Waffen SS apologists / Mesopotamia - real or fake? / RIP ROVER 25 / Metaverse Irish Stew / Really Lacklustre TikTok Live Sesh / The AMC meme to diamond mine pipeline / The Phantom Menace 2

One week, two episodes, depression o'clock. Plyrics. Aesthetics. Tiktok AI Newscasters. SXSW. Sanctions. Who therapises the therapist? See you in Berlin.

Brought to you by Sainsbury's Plant Based Chicken Kyivs & Against Me!'s Reinventing Axl Rose 20th Anniversary Limited Edition Remastered Record Store Day Release; In solidarity with the people of Ukraine, Reality Asylum stands against the Russian Meerkat / Putin on Fifa / Putin on Gazprom Cycling Team / Putin on Engels' Statue / Neocon Nuclear War Simp Twitter Voice / WE'RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT ANYMOOOORREEE

Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the internet..... War in Europe. Coming hot with some of the worst takes on the internet. I'm so tired.

The February Monthly Round Up: Daddy Give Me 5 / Winston Churchill Cigar Vape / Freak Your Page / Final Boomer Boss / RA Hype House / See you for the March Round Up......

BROUGHT TO YOU BY JOANNA HOGG: A monthly update from the boys with 30 mins on the worst music imaginable by the likes of FAT MIKE, TOM DELONGE and TIM ARMSTRONG, followed by the usual insights into WWIII, NFTs and corpo fascist undertakings the world over. Enjoy! RIP ANDY THE GOOSE.

First proper episode of 2022, same old shit: Suicide Sandwich & The Egg Mayo Cannon / Desperate ApeWives / Statue Defence League episode 66 / Gates of Hell / J-LO Turkmenistan Apology / BDS The Taliban Sneaks / Tesla Tunnel of Love / Capitalist Realism ASMR / Metaverse Asdas / Music Kid Riddim

The best of the rest 2021 round up episode complete with our hot like fire predictions for 2022: What will be HOT? What will be NOT? What will be.... SPICY? Amazingly we don't talk about NFTs or Cryptocurrency at all but I think we did that to death the rest of the year. Within; sanjmovies / Glamazonian Naughty Boys / Cruella Devil / Clap On You Crazy Diamonds / Statue Defence League / WOAT Band Name Changes / Peterson '22 VIP Merch Tent / Look At The Mushroom

The annual good time old fashioned family special Christmas episode brought to you by our friends and benefactors at CRYPTO DOT COM. Draw up a seat by the fireplace and let us tell you about all the ways you disappointed us this year.

Deep cover Matrix 4 spon-con episode where Luke gets Jokerfied and we talk about the metaverse in excruciating detail for an hour and fifteen. Can you dig it?

It's the beginning of the most wonderful time of the year & you have listened to 136,435 minutes of Reality Asylum: Dennis The Menace / Kerrang Work Experience 'Casm Interview / Skiba-gate / UTVG / Surprise Guest / One Glass Of Piping Hot Metabeer Please Guv

It's a room-er from the boys with a 24 style countdown to dosa, along with; plenty more cringetopia / Gandalf copping crypto / nuke flash mobs b/w nuclear flash mobs / Dr Who matriachy / wrapped prediction mode

Remember remember the 18th of November; weird synchromysticism of talking about different Matt Damon films at the start and end of this episode / brummie badge man / poppy NFT, natch / $250 Furry Hug / Hairy Masterpiece / Pull Da Pin / To Live Houseless & Die In LA

Awwww helll na we back on the map: Glup Shitto / Totally Tony Tangoed / 12 signs you're a clairvoyant empath / EY! I'm plantin trees up in here! / Insta Data Mining PSYOP of the week / Next Phase of the QUEEN MCU

*Staind voice* It's been a while: everything's so blurry / caught by the fakes / cube life / devious lick / ALD x CIA / mass psychogenic beans / Stirling-Cooper-McGuire-Hughes / don't be a baldist, baldie / dating by blaine comments thread check-in / three-step program to shoot a pistol out of a 4x4 in the desert, yeehaw!

"What listening to a podcast feels like" meme type beat from this one as the boys enjoy an old fashioned chat over an Old Fashioned: Jürgen Claus Hofstede goes to Frei Universitat / "You Would Have Failed The Test" / cryptogeeks galore / #evolvedape vs. #devolvedhuman / CIA Hitchcock / BAE cares :)))) / Misidentified Fascist

Where's my Kasper Mattress sponsorship cos I be sleepin; neknominate me baby / 10.59 mentality w. the AOC drop / County Sleego / No Cap Biplane / Datingbyblaine Zodiac Killer Cypher / Brand accounts tweeting into the nuclear void with the cockroaches / friday night 9pm it's my night / red flags: Jord = 10 / Luke = 1

Episode... Episodic... Titanic... Sporadic: THE SLAM POETRY SPECIAL. Pennies for petrol guvnor! / E10 Make A Wish Foundation Foot On Monitor Fund / Forgive me father for I have dripped / Stolen Valour / Electric Car Owner Self Identity Poison / Vatican x Palace / Eton Rifles Eton Rifles / Wheelbarrow Economics / Bivism / The Q4 of discontent...

Sponsored by the city of Chicago Tourist Board & Foxy Bingo.com; The Wackos from Waco / Simply Isotonic Vibes / Crash Bandicoot Speed Run / Barrymore Brit Shit / Drone Girlfriend Therapist Test / Anonymous Marine Funko Pop Doll / Thatcher Seance / Influencer Panopticon

Guess who just got back today, them wild-eyed boys that had been away... SEASON TWO of RA begins with endless personal news, a sickly little Jordy, Small Heath Panjabi MC, Darren Huckerby, Beatboxing Joker, Misfits Sad Boi, Essex Shedders, Shakespeare's Birthplace Radicalization, Met Gala PSYOP

RA Summer Special 2021 brought to you by POM; Let's go fly a kite / Homage and Heritage Shirts / Manga Quilt / Mod Tok / Lynchian Night Prowlers / Tila Tequlia Nazi Sympathiser / Jeffree Star Dahmer / Nu Metal Tik Tok Jeans / Rachel Dolezal Onlyfans

Hallo and wie gehts from Berlin, Germany: English Heart-attack / *Paul Weller voice* Going Undergroouuuuund / Pissbridge, UK / Oldboy Spoilers / Eyes Mask Tear Shut Spoilers / Bus Simulator / The Best Stewie Griffin Ink / Horse Therapist / Karl, Friedrich & Me

times change.... people change.... podcasting plans change: Mining the mental repression mine for Christian conversion tidbits / covid S.O.V. updates / pure emotional intelligence / Leo-Taurus unity / FestJord / Dropkick Murphys Ghost Writer / all brought to you by the lovely people of the A22 hotel, Riga, Latvia.

It's hit 24 degrees in the UK and the boys are doomed - but we made two episodes in five days so just take it for what it is okay? Wikifeet / Jord's PUA Pod w. Blondie / Negroni Waterboarding / Friends Fanfic / Marquis De Shade / Minimal Doomer Content Despite The Simulation Beginning To Crumble

The boys are here to clean up some links in an unprecedented Monday episode: Oat Milk Flat White plot synopsis / Joey Buda / Bitcoin Punk House / Mining = Bad After All? / Uncut Blood Diamond Gems / YuGiOh Ambassador / Timetravel Panzer Tank & more all brought to you by www.mikerowesoft.com

Luke's in hiding for alleged Tour de France criminal activities and Jord's in hiding watching the Euros. Spirits are high thanks to DARREN CLARKE GOLF CBD OIL™: Past life regression mediation / Derry, it's a hell of a town / Queen of Cups MSc PhD / Crypto Sherberry Lycra Boys / North Korean Socialist Skins / Kenilworth Vibes Alert

We've been away for a week and now we're back with those technical difficulties you know and love thanks to Jord's new £2000 paperweight. Put some respect on Tim Apple's name. Catching up on the news from last week - dog-murdering influencers / Hitler Youth Hangings - and some new shit - live McAfee suicide / Pogacar Sarnies / High Credibility Male 23 / Nut Nim Nut / Irish-ish

The first of several live football watching episodes to kick off The Summer Of Violence 2021. Here be: More tales from Kenilworth's Sexiest Residents / Mars - is it red or is it hot / Trillionaire Martian Oxygen Death / Sheep Dip / Peanut Butter Influencer / The Forager / Contact Jord For Guesties / Young Rapper Shouts At Cloud / Lembit Opik Brit Shit.......................

Blessing the feed with a BONUS for our beloved crew of freaks and weirdos. Just straight up doxxing the people of Jord's current hometown. Big up Barrington Minty, see you on the other side.

This episode brought to you by tacticalbabygear.com and Microsoft. A year on and still we RISE! AND! GRIND! Suggested talking points: The crisps of Kenilworth / Draft Posters / Ghetto Hydra VR / Giro de Jasta / Vagina Re-education Facility / Kneel for Marx / Farfour Mania / Landlord TikTok Profit Motive

Oh my god...... IT'S.... DEPRESSED JORD..... HE'S GIVING THE RA LISTENERSHIP THE CHAIR!!!!! Talking the good shit - Pfizer Gang Influencers / CIA Mint / "Now... watch this drive" / Pope Michael versus All Comers / Lockheed Martin EDI Committee / Killed By Driverless Bus / No! No!!