Slowly We Rock

Hey true believers!  With Marvel's Loki en route, we're taking a little detour from the norm and stepping into an alternate universe where your 3 favourite podcasters (that'd be us, thank you...) team up with Comic Book Fix's very own Sam to spend 100 minutes discussing our highlights of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.  There will be shocking twists, action and adventure as we each bring our 5 favourite flicks to the table! Enjoy 4 men in their thirties getting giddy over comic book characters as for one day, we become Slowly We Rock(et Raccoon)!  Sorry, that's the best I could do. 

French metal titans Gojira have released another huge record, Fortitude, and we're pretty excited to talk about it! That's right, we're talking about an album that's less than 10 years old!  We're also discussing the nuances of Cannibal Corpse, whether Mulder is a good friend in The X Files, Architects foray into the mainstream and Invincible!

Do you sometimes sing or whistle, just for fun? Do you feel sometimes that age is against you?  Well, we can help you to help yourself with this deep dive of one of the most genre-bending, ground breaking, and downright wild albums of all time; Faith No More's monstrous 'Angel Dust'. A name so beautiful for something so ugly, this album lives up to the monicker in spades. We really get into the guts of this thing, and try to pinpoint exactly what is the special sauce that makes this album so deserved of it's reverence.  We also finally get to find out who Dan's mystery bald man is. You're welcome. 

We’re back with some breaking headlines; Steve Vai needs surgery after holding a chord for 20 minutes, AC/DC’s Highway to Hell is still a great album, and Architects are a heavy metal band that people of all genders can enjoy. Don’t say we don’t stay relevant! We’re also discussing one of the strangest events in movie-studio history; the “Snyder Cut” of Warner Brothers’ Justice League. Is it good? Is it bad? Is it a lot of slow motion with a heavy gradient filter? Find out this, and more, with your 3 favourite heavy metal hunks.

Ladies and gentlemen!  Introducing, the single most in-depth, loving critique of Limp Bizkit's Chocolate Starfish and the Hot Dog Flavored Water. We take a look at a real timestamp of our g-g-generation, an album that your darling hosts grew up with. Is it a joke? Is it lightning-in-a-bottle, never to be equalled? Is swinging on my nuts a f**ked up game?  We'll answer this, and a lot more as we take you on (probably) the most focused breakdown of the album, the time and most importantly, Fred Durst.  Can you feel it?

We are taking a little time to indulge ourselves in some nerdy Star Wars chat, after wrapping up series 2 of Disney's "The Mandalorian". We're also talking Jedi: Fallen Order and the state of the post-sequel trilogy universe. Consider this episode as us getting Star Wars out of our system, so we can remain the cool, collected, and focused hosts that you know and love. This is the way.

This week, we're covering some all important discussions; balding rock stars, catfishing with your favourite 80s icons, and in a surprise turn we actually talk music, taking a look at our most played artists of 2020!  We also cover games and TV (come on, it's not the best time for music news right now...), and experience Lewis lose his mind as we finally meet our match; bad internet connection. 

We're back! It's a new year, new us, baby!  Well, it's still us, and we're easing ourselves back in with a lot of movie talk (let's face it, there's not a lot happening in the world of live music right now....). We're talking Mafioso classics, The Godfather and The Sopranos, the horrors of Zoom calls with Host, and new Pixar classic, Soul to lighten things up.  We also ask; is Garage Inc a good album, really? Is 2021 any better than 2020? Has it really been a whole year that we've lived with The Rise of Skywalker? All this and more as we crack open 2021 and suckle the sweet goodness that we all need this year to bring. 

Uh Oh! It's that special time of the year. The snow is falling, the presents are wrapped and the Jack-O'-lanterns are carved. Wait.  Ahhh, we've goofed, so we're rolling two holidays into one! To celebrate all things spooky, we're chatting about our favourite chilling flicks to enjoy with a nice glass of eggnog. We're also doing our first head to head, featuring the crypt-keepers of heavy metal, Black Sabbath and Ozzy Osbourne!  It's Heaven and Hell vs. Diary of a Madman, who will reign victorious? Jingle jingle, scream. I don't know, it's all very confusing. 

We remember rock's greatest guitarist, the man that changed everything, the inimitable Eddie Van Halen. 

After the highs of one of rock's biggest albums, we're diving into perhaps the greatest-bad biopic of all time; VH1's "Hysteria - The Def Leppard Story".   Is it described as "the biggest pile of shit ever made" by Leppard's Joe Elliot? You bet.  Does it bizarrely re-write history to turn the band it's celebrating into a bunch of lunatic monster people? You're goddamned right it does.  Is it the least convincing representation of England (filmed entirely overseas) put to screen? Yes. All of the yes.    It's terrible and fascinating and completely tone-def (hyuck) and we're very excited to discuss this, Dan mostly so that he never has to sit through it again. With no one involved wanting to take any credit, you can even find the entire thing on YouTube, so you get the peaches, we'll get the cream, and let's jump straight in! 

We break our normal idiocy to talk about something important.  We do also talk about Kevin James and Dream Theater, so there's that.

We make a bizarre change with this one; your boys are actually talking about an album we love!  Def Leppard's Hysteria, the Thriller of rock, an essential album with a budget and background as big as it's monumental success. We break down the music, the lyrics, the production and most importantly the songs, the struggles and the impact this record had across the world. 

If there's one thing this lockdown has allowed us, it's the gift of time; time that can be used to further one's knowledge, to create, or to find an especially novel way to utterly ruin the cherished tape-measure of another. Jim proves to be the worst person to lend anything to, ever.  We're also super excited about Trivium's new album! We jump into a bit of a career review as they release their latest outing, the relentless "What The Dead Men Say". Should they be headlining the biggest metal festivals? Have they found their sound? Does Blake risk having a Star Wars related illness exposed to his loved ones under such close living conditions? Huh? What? Something about Trivium.  Let's blow the quarantine blues away with loud music, big banter, and the sweetest 3 boys you'll ever fit in your earholes! 

Ayyyyyyyyyy! It's that cool, cool number day, so why not spend it with 3 definite non-Narcs from the comfort (and safety) of your own Palace du Herb.  We've rolled a real fatty of an episode, packed with the most convincing chronic chat you'll ever hear. Again, definitely not Narcs. In honour of a day we know very little about, we start up a little award show to celebrate the madness of the last year, the most bizarre contributions to music, and unearth a tainted vocal tuition CD.  Flick on the black light and crank up that hip-new Dylan record (this is still current, right?) and join us for an all singing, all dancing 420 special. Ayyyyyyyyy. 

Well, here we are once again in lockdown, digging out the joy of a mundane life indoors!  We get somewhat characteristically distracted during this one, so you'll have to forgive our cries for help and absurd wonderings.  Luckily, we've got you covered with; David Coverdale and the Glamorous Grannies as “The Witches”, Carcass - BBQ Music, the shared memory of the characters in Jaws 4, a couple of Al Pacino impressions  

Disclaimer - This was recorded a couple of weeks before release and, well... a LOT has happened since then!  We're bringing you our first ever remotely recorded session! Our hands are clean, our doors are locked, and our toilet roll supplies are healthy but not insane. We're talking about various rockstar efforts within the COVID pandemic, Bon Jovi's Dad's pasta sauce (again), Jim's big lockdown playlist, Lewis: Patient Zero and a whole lot more in this first episode in a new world.  Come and join us, have a great time, and stay safe! 

Is anyone having a good 2020? Like, really, is anyone?!  We've got some bad news for you; it's actually the end of the world. Luckily, we're here to lead you into the next world with the answers to all of life's big questions. Is Brett Michaels the singing banana? How do you naturally start a catchphrase? What's really going on with Lamb of God? Which lunatic decided the world needed a special collection of 90s Def Leppard?  Don't worry, we'll make sure you're at peace with this (and more!), before we all meet a grizzly end.  Thanks. 

We've dusted off the cobwebs on our mics, and just like Grandpa Joe, we're out of that bed and leaping for a Golden Ticket to your ears!  Lewis takes us through the weird and wonderful joys of Giants of Rock, held each year on the wintery coast of Minehead. Prepare yourself for a run through of the ultimate in British Dad-Rock festivals. We're also covering; bizarrely youthful hair, the best bottles to take on a long car journey (for... you know), The Life of Pi but the tiger is Clown from Slipknot, exclusive ticket disappointment. 

HO HO HO! LET'S GO!  This Christmas, we're finally taking a look at one of our most favourite of festivities; Twisted Sister's "Twisted Christmas". What could be more Christmassy than Dee Snider screaming "O Come All Ye Faithful" straight into your earholes? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's camp, it's all over the place, and we can't wait to unwrap it for your listening delight.  We're also talking; does Dan Aykroyd have a place in Christmas movies? Can you name a single character in Love Actually? Which member of Motley Crue is working with a crack team to get in shape for their upcoming tour? All of these will be answered and more in this very special episode of Slowly We Rock.  Oh, and have yourself a merry little Christmas whilst you're at it. 

We have a word from our unofficial sponsor and zombie-bite denier, Papa John, and he's truly lost his mind.  As we prepare ourselves for his "day of reckoning", we're left to discuss the real issues whilst there's still time, including; what's the absolute worst 12 flavours you can put into a tin and why have Game gone ahead and created it? What things has Faith No More's Mike Patton shit in, and does Axl know? Why won't August Burns Red just play their Christmas songs around Christmas? We've got you covered; bring on the Yuletide Papacalypse. 

It's been a great week for live shows with Djentle giants Periphery, and the spooks of spectacle, Ghost! We're going to get into all of that, but we've got another mystery to solve; what is "Blobby"? When did it gain sentience? Does it recognise it's own kind? Will it foil that dastardly Edmunds?  Find out the answers above, plus; Matt Helpern's guide to firm hat placement, Japanese prison camps vs Ant and Dec, Motley Crue's surprise reunion of bad singers.   

As we roll towards the end of 2019, there's a huge film release on everyone's lips. It's the end of the saga as we know it, and through the ups and downs of the last few years, we're all in agreement that this could be one of the biggest cinematic events in history. That's right. Jim saw Slayer: The Repentless Killogy and he's going to break down whatever he understood of the narrative for your listening pleasure(?).  We also discuss Opeth Hecklers, Watchmen - the coolest masked series on TV right now, and the ABSOLUTE BEST THING WE'VE EVER DISCOVERED ON THE PODCAST, STARRING GEOFF TATE. 

Those spooky groans and moans can only mean one thing; it's Halloween!  Join us in our definitely-well-planned Fright Night Extravaganza as we fail to celebrate, fail to dress up, and fail to come up with some good horror flicks. Chilling stuff. Your 3 favourite (g)hosts are also covering; do we just want to Cosplay now? Brad Paisley's wild London show, Killswitch Engage live - a Tale of Two Singers, and a genuinely smooth segue to Hobbs and Shaw. Grab your crucifix, lock the doors, and join us in the Witchin Hour to laugh away the demons that are gunning for your sweet, sweet candy.  

Tom gave us MySpace. Zuckerberg gave us Facebook.  Now, 'Motley Crue' and 'Tommy Lee Goes to College' star, Tommy Lee, is proud to present his addition to the digital market; a penis-based filter that's set to take the market by storm.  We're also talking about the seemingly lacking output of the bigger politically charged bands in such politically unstable times, so we've really got all angles covered here.  Other tangents; Brand new Opeth, Mikael Åkerfeldt goes record shopping straight from our Shit List, the worst solo on any instrument ever, and how to do a really good Mick Jagger impression. 

Diamond Dave is back to announce a Vegas residency, however we're far too excited about his wonderfully unhinged promo video/podcast/ramblings of a madman. WOOH! We're pretty sure the Van Halen frontman has transcended the "Rock God" status and jumped out on that road of button down pants, bongos and smokey rooms that you'd only find at the finest coffee-shop beat-poetry nights. He's really letting loose and we couldn't be happier to get an unfiltered look into the mind of one of rock's most colourful patrons.  Also covered; Black Lace make a very surprising comeback, Grand Designs and the Naked Window, and Paul Gilbert's very tall crowd. We'd also like to thank you for noticing how excellent our segues are. Thanks. 

We have been truly spoiled this week with new releases from metalcore heavyweights Killswitch Engage's "Atonement", and the prog powerhouse that is Tool's "Fear Inoculum"! So what does that mean? That's right; we're talking Pitbull!  Is there anywhere Mr Worldwide won't grace? Is he part of some sleazy Hollywood club that will force a guest appearance in exchange for recording time? Is he Lewis's Dad?! Find out for yourself in this latest episode of our rock and metal podcast.  Also discussed; yes, both of those albums! Killswitch and Tool (OF COURSE). We're also covering Jim's trip to ArcTanGent, so we've got plenty to cover and not a lot of time. We're going down, we're going timber, Baby.

Dan's back from his holiday and he's all fired up from oysters, ready to jump into some new releases from Tool and Slipknot! We actually do a semi-decent job of discussing music this week, but don't worry, we've still got plenty of tangents (or "bits") that you've come to know and endure. We're talking Dublin and the Phil Lynott Finger Sacrifice, a McCulinary Exchange, Slayer; “more expensive than petrol!”, the Blue Rinse Brothers, and the anti-burn serum we crave to get over our last episode.  Remember, if you think someone will enjoy our premium brand of nonsense, drop them a little recommendation! 

They were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should... They said it would never happen, we hoped they were right, but here we are diving deep into the fourth Guns 'N' Roses original record, Chinese Democracy. A band of 17, recorded across 14 years with more Axl Rose than you can shake a bandanna at... what could possibly go wrong? Well fear not brave listener, we've endured the whole thing so you don't have to!  Also covered: The Area 51 run, top US Presidents in film, which Buckethead album are you?

OH YEAHAHHH!  We're back to the meaning of LIFE. Note these subtle cues because we're talking METALLICA, BABY! Jim and Nelmes are fresh from their mighty Worldwired show in London, and they're pretty fired up to talk about metal's biggest export. We've crunched the numbers, consulted the finest analysts, and we're pretty sure the verdict is that they're what we like to refer to as a "real good time".  Also covered; Gojira, Lewis; Home Alone '19, Joe Pesci's incredibly aggressive Yorkshire Puddings, and is Cemetery Gates actually a good song? Like, really, is it? 

In a time when dinosaurs walked the Earth, we took our buddy Mike where only eagles dare; Iron Maiden's 4th release, the groundbreaking Piece of Mind. Join us as we carve another notch on Mike's Maiden belt, introducing him lineup changes, big meaty guitars and the band's first taste of incredibly specific British wars from Steve Harris's big book of history. We get very excited to dive into this beast, so welcome to the next stop on our Maiden Voyage. Tangents include; Dad chat and NO-TOWN, Idi Amin's comedy gala, Icarus the bad bird-son.

Ding ding! The fight bell's-a-ringing! We're jumping fist first into some spicy celeb feuds this week, with Jim and Nelmes giving us a full breakdown of Katy Perry's dancer-heist, Drake's firing some low blows, and Corey Taylor starting on....everyone?  We've somehow managed to do an entire episode where we talk about music. We're just as surprised as you. Also covered; Tom Cruise: Dad Strong, Iron Maiden's Choose Your Own Adventure, Sonic's personality vacuum and Alexisputtingoutfires. 

Halo sesama rockers! Two restaurants, both alike in dignity, In fair Bristol, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes chef's hands unclean. That's right, there's a pizza war in town and we may or may not be involved! Jim breaks down our public relations with two very well known pizza-chains, Lewis addresses our newfound celebrity status in Indonesia and Nelmes takes us on a trip to the roughest town of all; Roadhouse.  We're also talking about Caamp, Jamie Oliver's surprising role in the Ray Charles biopic, and the Gathering of The Juggalos.  Selamat bersenang-senang!

Welcome to our fancy new island; that's right, your boys are taking a well deserved holiday in Podcast land. In flight entertainment? IT'S EUROVISION TIME, BABY. We unpack the annual showcase of everything camp, scantily clad and packed with cheese with 2019's Eurovision Song Contest. We get all VH1's "Where Are They Now?" with Nitro (spoiler alert, exactly where you'd imagine) and give a quick roundup of gigs we've been to over the last fortnight.  Please place your drinks tray in the upright position, and the emergency exits have been sealed up so you'd better strap yourself in for one Hell of a ride. 

We've read the unholy texts, sacrificed a virgin or two, and have opened the gateway to a podcast from our jurassic period.  Welcome to the 3rd installment of our Maiden Voyage series, where your very own Children of the Damned, (Jim, Dan and Lewis) take our buddy Mike on his first ever listen through Iron Maiden's entire back-catalogue.  We're at their BEHEMOTH of a classic, the all-singing, all-dancing debut of Bruce Dickinson and rattler of parents everywhere in 1982; The Number of the Beast. We're going on a deep dive, and you're all invited! Also covered: The Starfish, Dad wisdom, and will Steve Harris ever sell his 8-bed manor house? 

Look. We know that we've been avoiding the question for some time; which streaming services does Jim subscribe to? Don't worry, you're finally going to get those answers as Jim is (mysteriously) incredibly keen to go through each and every one in full detail for your listening pleasure.  We also talk In Flames, Yngwie Malmsteen's "blues" album, and Lewis gets chummy with Blue's Antony Costa at the most bombastic, butt-shaking, big-haired Broadway show, Rock Of Ages.  This must be just like living in paradise.    

April, you beautiful beast.  This month is shaping up to be something truly special; not only do we have the release of Avengers: Endgame to look forward to, but those delightful djentbwoiiz in Periphery have released their long awaited 4th (or 6th... you decide) studio album, Periphery IV: Hail Stan.  We talk about our first impressions of this behemoth, more gigs, and some seriously strong butt related theories from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Obviously, we couldn't stay on track and talk about what we're supposed to for too long, could we? Perfectly balanced, as all things should be. 

Kneel down ye sinners to streetwise religion, the screen's been crowned the new King.  Join your boys as we dive deep into the Netflix Original adaptation of the most notorious book in rock: Mötley Crüe's "The Dirt". We backcomb every hair of their brand new biopic to see how their mammoth story fits into a 2 hour flick.  Full of your usual tangents and niche references, crack open the Jack, pull up your biggest boots and get the keys to the Harley... ..then put them down because you've had some whiskey and those boots aren't fit for driving. We want you to be safe, dude.    Fuck yeah.   

In the second installment of our Maiden Voyage, we introduce our buddy Mike to Iron Maiden's second album, Killers.  Join us as we do a deep dive into the record and stumble across a long hidden secret... Is this a concept album? Is there some monkey business at foot? Are we idiots that have absolutely no ability to stay focused for more than a minute? All will be revealed.  Remember, let us know what you think by following any of these beautiful links:   Facebook Twitter Instagram  

Yeesh, it's been a busy few weeks for your boys at Slowly We Rock.  Recorded on a very special Valentine's Evening, Jim, Dan and Lewis did the right thing and spent it together, catching up on seeing all of the bands over the last few weeks. We know our schedule has been a bit all over the place, so you lucky folk get a bumper-length episode! It's like an Annual of heavy metal and jumping down every rabbit-hole we seem to find.  Featuring; Skid Row, Mastodon, Kvelertak, Behemoth, The Sweet, a bunch of people from Thin Lizzy, Killswitch Engage, At The Gates, and Parkway Drive among others.  We also have a returning guest; Mr Papa John and his own 'quirky' brand of humour. 

Step into the time machine and head back to a long forgotten age of 2017. Slowly We Rock "proudly" presents our proof of concept podcast series Maiden Voyage - a journey through the Iron Maiden discography album by album, song by song, in excruciating detail with our good friend, and Maiden virgin, Mike. Also included; Mark Wahlberg's Rockstar and Steely Dan's beef with Owen and Luke Wilson. Let us know what you think and get in touch below Facebook Twitter Instagram  

It's out 18th birthday (episodes, not years. Pay attention), which means this podcast is old enough to drink. To celebrate we got pretty tipsy and crafted a sequel to a much loved episode. Judas Priest is over and light entertainment is in dire need of a shot in the arm. Enter iconic metal frontman Rob Halford and 3 very desperate producers ready to transform Sunday tea time television. We also cover all your regular topics like fast food copyright laws, Cannibal Corpse's legal woes and another Ghostbusters sequel?! Facebook Twitter Instagram

Heavy nu-year and welcome to 2019 A.K.A. THE most metal year yet. We stand by that claim. And what better way to start off our heaviest year yet by discussing 80's one hit wonder Bros' recent BBC documentary film After The Screaming Stops. We're still not sure this is actually real because it's too perfect - Spinal Tap meets The Office meets Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping - but we do our best to comprehend the brothers Luke and Matt Goss' journey from 80s pop sensation to 80s nostalgia pop sensation. Also discussed - Casualty, Holby City and the never ending accident and emergency woes of Bristol, England. Facebook Twitter Instagram

Merry Christmas Eve one and all. That's right, Christmas has come early with your favourite festive trio's holiday special. We've been to so many gigs so get ready for a major Yuletide geek out about August Burns Red, Between The Buried and Me, 36 Crazyfists, Wage War, Bury Tomorrow and Tesseract. Also it's time to get to the bottom of the lyrics of Whitesnake's Slide It In and we received our very first fan mail! Merry Christmas, happy holidays and a happy new year to all our supporters. Facebook Twitter Instagram

Slowly We Rock investigates the bizarre viral phenomenon of L.A. one man rock band Threatin and it's mastermind Jared Threatin - a man quickly becoming The Room of rock and metal - who faked an online fanbase and booked a European tour to play to absolutely no one. And it only gets weirder. If you're reading this then you're already part of the illusion. Also Djent music. What's the big idea? We also talk tech metal and the appeal of the genre. A big thanks to Metal Sucks for their comprehensive investigation of Threatin, without whom this episode would not have been possible. Metal Sucks Facebook Twitter Instagram

On a count of three stand up straight, stick your chest out, take a deep breath, hold your head up high and give us your best "SLAYER", or else how will anyone know you like them? Slowly We Rock LOVE Slayer so join us for a crash course on the thrash titans and their final tour's Cardiff, UK leg with Lamb of God, Anthrax and Obituary. SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEER! Facebook Twitter Instagram  

"Woooooooooooooh" That's the sound of terror as Slowly We Rock brings you the Halloween Spooktacular your evil souls have been craving.  Find out about our favourite Dear theme park owners, listen up! We've got the best idea for a heavy metal house of horror which will rock and rot you to your very core.  We also talk new Clutch and Behemoth albums, The Darkness and Deafheaven live in concert and the musical therapy charity Nordoff Robins.   Nordoff Robbins Facebook Twitter Instagram

Slowly We Rock saw Ghost live! This week we talk about all things Ghost while trying to survive a Reaper Chili - an in introduction to Sweden's spookiest export, their triumphant show at London's Royal Albert Hall, the burning pain of a hot pepper and their all round passion for all things Satanic. Don't forget to join us on social media Facebook Twitter Instagram

We're the Pod with the power, Slowly We Rock, follow us or die. Please follow us, but please don't die, or else you won't get to hear us talk about New York thrash metal titans Anthrax's seminal 1987 masterpiece Among The Living - find out how Scott Ian and company's unique blend of classic rock, new wave of British heavy metal, skate punk, hardcore chugging and grooves, mixed with pop culture references and socially conscious lyrics defined the thrash metal genre. We're also joined by a special guest to debate the merits of Parkway Drive and their place in the pantheon of metalcore and how well do we know the lyrics to Eagles classic Hotel California?

Guess who's bought the Rover's Return? James, Dan and Lewis return to debate our Dad's drinking habbits (but not habbitual drinking), the now long forgotten Rockstar Supernova TV series, our ever growing excitement for evil Satanists Behemoth's new album and the merits of those good Christian boys making some noise - August Burns Red. We may also discover our love of Google image searching modern day Rod Stewart.

We're back! After a short break for our summer holidays Slowly We Rock return with a brand new episode. We talk the almighty Iron Maiden's Legacy of the Beast tour, our love of Killswitch Engage, the blastphemous Behemoth, their love of sacrilegious palindromes and Nergal's Instagram. Also non-stop fast food talk. Racist Papa John's metalcore connection? We got you. 80s rockstars playing KFC's very own Colonel Sanders? We got you. As usual things took a turn.