Still Trying

We briefly revisited our old format to explore how dating under COVID might go. It’s not great. We also explore the outlook on what fall has in store for COVID rates. It’s not great. Finally, we do a dramatic reading of some Anti-vaxxer, conspiracy theorist, dystopian, sci-fi fan fiction. It is FANTASTIC.Keep your eyes on the sky to spot Neowise cus’ it aint coming back for 6,500 years (…the full life span of the planet Earth!)Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

As you settle into your holiday weekend, likely alone and away from family and friends so that you don’t accidentally make Grandma sick, Josh and Leyla offer you a reminder of where the discourse was two weeks ago (and an entertaining way to kill an hour or so). That’s because we recorded this mid-June and then sat on it while busy with other things. Whoops.In this episode we answer that age old question: Can you post, purchase, and read your way out of hundreds of years of systemic racism, oppression, and slavery?You’ll never guess our answer.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Good news! America has decided Corona Virus is over. That’s right. The whole deadly pandemic thing? Yeah. We’re not doing that anymore. We’re done with it. Beat it. Kicked it to the curb. So it’s time to open up shop and get back to it. In today’s episode we will calmly and politely explain to you why that is a problematic way to look at things.Naw, I’m kidding. We’re gonna be freaked out, panicked, pissed off, and screaming at everyone for causing unnecessary sickness, death, and extended quarantining because they feel emasculated by wearing a cloth masked not being able to eat at Applebees.We’re also discussing how to find your purpose through fist fighting at the Waffle House.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Producers Note: we do a reading series about halfway through this episode about a coffee shop closing. Ive since learned the couple who owns it are Harvard alum and professors, who moved to eastern Kentucky to I dunno… civilize the place? Also the husband started his first tech company with connections to the Jeffrey Epstein funded MIT Media Lab. So, speaking only for myself (Josh), i actually feel I went too easy on them. Anyway, on with the show.This ones an all-timer folks. It hits every genre, segment, and topic this podcast has historically represented: Media critique, loneliness and existential dread, the resulting dip into conspiracy, the causation of abusive capital, the dating climate, and so much more.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

It’s STAGE 2 folks. Time to take on the DEEP STATE.#WWG1WGAThey can’t stop all of us from dying for believing a global health pandemic is just a hoax of the global liberal commie elites.But in all seriousness, Josh delivers some of his latest Helpful Hints (TM) for dealing in stressful times and we’ll keep airing out life under Corona quarantine.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

Disclaimer: This episode was recorded about a week before posting, which in todays world is about a decade. So, sorry for the dated material but Josh’s schedule as an “essential worker” got too out of control to be able to post in a timely manner. Also release schedules might be weird for a while… some weeks maybe we’ll have 2 episodes. Some weeks maybe we will have none. But we appreciate you sticking it out with your pals Josh and Leyla! Anyway…Guess what b****! It’s here. The ‘Rona has landed. In our first edition of CORONA VIRUS MELT DOWN: BORING APOCALYPSE, Josh and Leyla air out anxieties, concerns, and all that stuff you have to exhale first to continue podcasting in the age of slow and tedious societal collapse. We’ll do a bit of game theory on how we see this whole thing panning out and explore what the new normal might be.Share your Life in the Time of Corona stories and anxieties with us. We’d love to have you or your story on the show!Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Hello world.We are back. Things are changing. Deal with it.Email us: stilltryingpod@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction(Note: Some weird skipping happened during our raw recordings in a few spots, so no, your podcast player isn’t scerwed up. It’s just a tech error that couldn’t be fixed)

Leyla was gracious enough to open up about her experience in a cult… er… pyramid scheme, uh… I mean “money making opportunity”. We hear Leyla’s story and discuss the means by which such companies prey on loneliness, especially in women. So Join Us In Creating Energy and GET FIRED UP!!Support the Show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Who really farted on the mic? Eric Swallwell? Chris Matthews? Or was it a squeaky chair? And where is Ghislaine Maxwell!?!?! AND WHO IS DEEP THROAT?!We’ll solve none of this because we have more important things to do like critique very lengthy Ok Cupid profiles. Also, join us for a deep meta-analysis of our own previous episode… It sounds stupid but it’s worth it. The conversation evolves into some really insightful mental health discussion and advice.Support the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

The ways you’re supposed to deal with anxiety are bizarre and seemingly stupid. But it really is that hard to say hello to a pregnant woman on the street for some of us. Let’s dissect that. Leyla’s scheduled to reconnect with someone from her past to see if she can empty some baggage. Most importantly this episode is part birthday present for “Rebecca”… which doesn’t mean anything to you until you listen to the episode.Watch Rebecca’s birthday presentSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comEpstein didn’t kill himself.

In case anyone was thinking that finding a lifelong partner and having a family with them means you’re done trying and have reached endless bliss and fairy tale endings, we decided we had a responsibility to burst that bubble. Enter our special guest, Josh’s sister, mother of two and wife, roommate of Maine Coon named Pete, and tiny one-bedroom Brooklyn apartment dweller Steph.Steph gets in the mix to tell us about what’s great about parenting and married life with a pretty measured take… that also talks about what sucks. Are you surprised to find that on this show we’d bring on someone who thinks Capitalism is the problem with parenting? Listen and find out why!Support the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Very minor spoilers in this episode for Joker, Season 2 of Grey’s Anatomy, and the awful class solidarity fo the ultra wealthy.Folks. It’s time to get a little weird. Get a little twisted. True PSYCHOS know the new movie Joker is a dangerous trigger waiting to ignite a sleeper Incel …uhh… cell to come online and shoot up every movie theater in America. This is the end. This is what women MADE these men do and the media wants you to know that. But more importantly they want you to be scared. Fear for your lives as you sit down with your Cookie Pizza from Pizza Hut (TM) to enjoy what you thought was going to be a light romp about costumed men battling each other in duels of good and evil.Actually, Josh saw Joker and it has nothing to do with any of that. We’re here to debunk this ridiculous Incel fear mongering over a movie being perpetuated by a blood thirsty media. We also find time to make a bet on who Leyla won’t text between now and our next episode.Place your bets on Leyla’s love life: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses a bizarre and uncomfortable form of sexual assault.Congrats to Phoebe Waller-Bridge for winning some Emmy’s for her performance in Fleabag …which in turn gives a chance to discuss and critique it’s takes on relationships. We’ll explore it’s relevance to women vs. men and reflect on what it says about us. And is the whole 4th wall breaking, omniscient narrator thing trope played out in the “golden age of television”?In this episode, we’ll also go meta on what it means for us to complain about the attention economy while actively participating in it. And do we want partners who feed us that same kind of attention we seek in our media work? Do we want a partner? Or another fan?Finally, there’s that whole reddit/relationship_advice post about um, virginity checking. If you’ve ever been on that board, you know what we’re talking about… Yikes.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

Let us just say, don’t look up “vabbing” before listening to this podcast. It will ruin the fun.Otherwise we’re talking about when second chances pay off and you find yourself pleasantly surprised. Josh does a bit deeper analysis of dating app Hinge; exploring some educated guesses about what’s really happening under the hood with its algorithms. This episode also turned out to be a pretty good explainer of some buzzwords we’ve found ourselves throwing around this podcast for a while, but never very clearly explaining: “The Enneagram” and “Neoliberalism”.The latter of which, we’ll explore as the catalyst or cause of our feedback loop of online loneliness and depression with the aid of reading series installment “Tell Me It’s Going to Be Okay” by Miya Tokumitsu in The Baffler. We highly recommend reading the whole thing! It’s great!Support the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Great Epstein’s ghost! We are finally back from summer vacation and things are humming along in standard order around here… The world is still being run by a cabal of billionaire pedophiles, the debate over what it takes to mow down 30-50 feral hogs has died down, and any actual worldly concern is diminished by a marketing ploy to have us foaming at the mouth about whose chicken sandwich is better. Some of you seemed upset about us being gone, but trust us, you’re better off missing out on Josh’s Epstein Brained takes of the past month and a half.So where were we? We’re here to jump back in with personal updates and questions about the state of our dating lives. Are we even capable of doing this anymore? Leyla is fresh off the boat from the jolly old rains of London and sulking in the ennui of leaving Paris. But she’s somewhat ready to tell us what the boys on Tinder are like across the pond. Also, Josh apologizes for his characterizations of British people in this episode (but not really).

It’s been a year of airing out our personal lives for you all while mining the news and culture for understanding why developing relationships is so damn hard. What have we learned?Uhhh….Plenty! We’ll revisit some of our favorite moments and personal revelations from the past year and explore thoughts on where we can take things in the next year! Other topics include why you’re getting a lil’ depressed and discouraged at the height of summer and explore a recently updated study from Stanford University - Disintermediating Your Friends. Or normal speak, how the heck have hetero couples been meeting their partners? Find more here from The Guardian.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

Do you find yourself reaching out in the night, desiring the warm touch of another human? A companion who you can trust with your closest guarded secrets? Someone to hold you and tell you everything’s going to be okay?Well, we’re all out of that.What we do have is certified Gamer Girl Bathwater. Literally bathwater that has been waded in by your favorite cosplayers and streamers on sale for $30 a jar because this is 2019 and that’s a thing we do now. On today’s episode we’ll break down the commodification of sexuality in the form of, uh… bathwater as we sift through the fall out of Instagram influencer/weirdo (depending on which generation you ask), Belle Delphine’s sale of her personal bathwater. Important note from the uh… creator?: "This water is not for drinking and should only be used for sentimental purposes,"As is often the case for us, we’ll also revisit naturalism and whether we’re too selfish to parent or too tired.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmai.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

Reality TV is here to rectify the way we perceive relationships for us without us knowing. And we’re so here for it. Josh has fallen in love with the Bachelorette… the show. Not Hannah Brown herself. Although who could blame him if he did? It’s cultural conditioning. But in all seriousness, Josh takes to his critical media theory corner going to bat for the series as a work of modern art that teaches us about ourselves.We’ll also debate the use of the term “Emotional Labor” in correlation with romantic relationships vs. the work place. Is it owed scare quotes? Or is it a fair assessment of negativity in a relationship?And one more thing. We’ve revolutionized the way you’re going to find that special someone. And it doesn’t even require you to pull out your phone. We’re calling it Soft Eyes and we just know you’re going to love it. And even better, we’re making it available in your local bar, TODAY.Email: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

*Note: We somehow ran out of tape recording this episode, so the last 10-15 minutes are gone forever. Whoops! Clean out your SD cards folks.We’re discussing the mental results of removing oneself from all dating apps. The calming highs and the lonesome lows. The mystery of aloof cool girls is uncovered with an exploration of Mashable article In the dating game, women are pressured to play the part of a stereotypical 'cool girl'" by Rachel Thompson. And some unrelated content: Josh gives ya’ll the full story of how to #BlazeIt420 legally in the state of Ohio after receiving a bunch of questions on Instagram.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

On this Memorial Day we remember the fallen. That’s right, #MeltdownMay 2019 is dedicated to all the Wife Guys out there who have so savagely embarrassed themselves and their (often ex) wives in the court of public opinion. Are you totally lost reading this? That’s fine. Josh explains the beautiful social experiment turned works of art that is a “wife guy” through the lens of fallen from grace YouTuber, Pro Jared, his very public, very awkward divorce and subsequently leaked dick-pics. Yikes.Leyla also brings us a lil’ reading series Jr. with the Wall Street Journal’s The Art of Being Single by Elizabeth Bernstein. When has one mastered said art? Where is the culture of self-love headed if left unchecked? And finally, a quick revisiting of our ongoing debate: to birth or not to birth. We check in with and discuss some thoughts those no-goodnick socialists over at Chapo Trap House recently had on the subject.Email: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

From first kisses to first times crankin’ it, middle school (and high school for others… no shame) is a weird ass time. So let’s dive in with the blunt-force help of the new Hulu Original series Pen15. We’ll discuss how we’ve connected with this fantastically accurate depiction of pre-9/11, pre-teen life. What were friendships like? What were crushes like? Why didn’t we act on intelligence regarding domestic terror activity?Josh also develops the One Dating App to Rule Them All (TM) while giving into his swiping addiction and going full-force into the game.Email us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

In this corner we’ve got a meat eating, room cleaning, lobster loving daddy to incels everywhere, iiiiiiit’s JORDAN PETERSON. He’s got 12 Rules ready to take straight to the chins of his opponents.From the trend reviving, self-love preaching, French tuck sporting world of Netflix iiiiiiit’s QUEER EYE’S FAB FIVE!Now gentleman, I wanna see a clean fight with no patriarchy affirming or neoliberal, materialist success platitudes! And FIGHT!Round 1 - Josh explains his thesis on the growing cultural phenomenon of self-help and self-care for men as exhibited by Peterson and Queer Eye. What’s the good and bad to take away? Who should be your guide to navigate isolated, lonely men out of their mom’s basement, away from Fortnite, and into a healthy existence capable of joy?Round 2 - YouTube personality Peter Coffin (Many Peters, Very Important Documentaries, Adversaries) joins the conversation to add his thoughts on both of today’s subjects, modern masculinity, and agender identity. (Interview at approx. 35:00)Contact us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduction

On today’s episode, our hosts’ thirst is being quenched by Topo Chico! The best of all mineral waters.Are you also getting just a little bit tired of trying to find a welcoming social space that doesn’t involve booze? Then you just might be “Sober Curious”. We explore this creeping trend, it’s merits, and the difficulties exploring sobriety fuels in the dating culture and socializing market. That market wants you to drink. It NEEDS you drink. It’s built it’s entire brand and profit model on your addiction to alcohol. So whaddaya’ gonna do? Give in? Opt Out? Fight back? Drink an ice cold Topo Chico instead? (We recommend the latter)This episode includes another installment in our reading series: From The Atlantic we explore Millenials Are Drinking Less-But Still Not Sober by Amanda MullEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: lo-fi.com/elstroproductionDrink Topo Chico.

We have both officially been sucked back into the dating app world, but Josh wants to go cold turkey off the damn things. Can he do it?It's also birthday time for Josh and we'll discuss what it feels like to hit these milestone dates with and without a significant other in the picture; as well as whether or not that even matters to give yourself a special day.We'll also hit the r/askwomen and r/askmen subreddits for some light fun regarding non-sexual things that are pretty damn sexy. Call upon the power of the moon Sailor Scouts because if you believe in string theory, there's a reality where Josh and Leyla got romantically involved real young, put on tons of weight, but didn't let it stop them from doing some fabulous cosplays at ComicCon!Support the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproductionEmail us: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Leyla’s ready to go OFF on some guys who need to rethink what they’re looking for in women. And yeah, they kind of deserve it.Most of this episode we’re devoting to a couple pieces of dating media we came across these past few weeks. First up, new Netflix original series Dating Around. Five singles. One… uh… singleton? Who comes out making us want to be their friend? And who is a douche who deserves to get sent back to Staten Island?We’ll also put our feet in our respective mouths discussing a recent project by The Cut entitled Beyond “The One” - Exploring Modern Polyamory. This time it seems we’re not the only ones who see the potentially fatal flaws in the lifestyle. But hey, we’re sincerely trying to work through this stuff in good faith. If we’re coming up short, get at us.Email: stilltryingbuds@gmail.comSupport the show: ko-fi.com/elstroproduciton

Josh survived speed dating, but it may have caused him to have a mental breakdown over Climate Change? Somehow? He’ll break it all down for you with his play-by-play of the most grueling and demanding sport a human can put their body through. And yes, we’re still talking about speed dating.And we continue to meditate on the question, “Should I be dating?” This time the question gets more specific, “When watching Senator Diane Feinstein condescend to children is launching me into a spiral of gut-wrenching depression and paranoid conspiracy, should I be dating??” Along with this we’ll explore coping with loneliness and thirst for community in a world that actively works to stifle these things.We’re toward the end of winter… we promise things will start to brighten up soon! We love you!Support the show: ko-fi.com/elstrproductionEmail: stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Snitch Tagging - n. When someone is being talked about discreetly and somebody else tags the person who is being mentioned.Just don’t do it. Be cool. If your friend is punching down, by all means, have a conversation with them. But don’t publicly call them out or anonymously squeal to an authority and try to get them cancelled. That my friends, is a bish move. Nobody likes a snitch.But we’re approaching Valentine’s Day so like many cliched singles we’re out here living real existential depression hours. Wearing that mess on our sleeve for you, so you don’t have to. But this isn’t your classic hating on V-Day fest. No! We’re here to spin yarns about more carefully building social capital. And how much it sucks that we feel compelled to do that in the first place. From there we’ll take you deep into nihilist dread with the confrontation that everything we understand to be reality is just some freak’s pervertedly modded version of the Sims. On the bright side, that means you have no reason not to just go for it and chat up that long shot cutie.As always, send your angry emails to stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

You’ll be like Neo seeing the code in the Matrix after this one baby! Romance, dating, love, are all just transactions in the marketplace of ideas! Your emotions, your feelings, your hopes, your dreams; they’re all just products waiting to be bought and sold to and by the holders of the most impressive personality resumes. Oh, and billionaires. They’re DEFINITELY taking their cut.We’re going to tackle socializing and befriending Normies when you’re an elitist brat. It’s also our first foray into the quirky world of dating app Hinge. Finally we’ll Ask a Fuck Up. Reading series returns with Brandy Jensen’s (@BrandyLJensen) advice column from theoutline.com: I’m Still in Therapy. Should I be Dating? The answer is C. Definitely C.

New year! New y- No. Not really. Nothing will change, so just put on your soft pants, listen to our podcast, and watch cartoons. Do you really want to be a part of the hedonist mob vomiting and crying in the streets as the clock strikes midnight and society tells you to instantly be horny or die alone? Hell no. Leave that to the “cool kids”, whose approval you’ll never get. So why bother?We’ll discuss why we impart so much importance on the being with someone as we witness the changing of a calendar. Also, how does our constant seeking of approval affect our self-esteem, our self-worth, and our ability to be loved? So again, forget the parties. Get deep with your pals Josh and Leyla for New Years!What horrors have you endured seeking love because New Years made you feel compelled?stilltryingbuds@gmail.com

Relationships are simple. Just communicate clearly and don’t lie. Especially don’t post your friend’s personal contact info on Craigslist. They will get SO many unsolicited dick pics. You’ve also gotta understand, if you’re dating anyone with depression and anxiety who is going through Zoloft withdrawal, you’re going to want to tell that person to drink water. That’s all you really need to do. If your partner’s expecting a banana, and all you’ve got is a cherry, don’t surprise them. Just be upfront about it and have some trust. And early 20-something bookish nerds trying to get laid: be standoffish and get some brogues. This episode features another very special guest. Her name’s Ana and hoo-boy are you going to want to hear the story she has to tell!

SEX! Now that we have your attention!Ugh… That was cheap. But for real. Let’s talk about it. When should we do that? When’s it okay? When’s it not okay? (Hint: Most ways the Catholics are doing it, not okay). A simple discussion of when it feels right to get down with a new partner, somehow descends into an exploration of the history of Catholicism and male power and control of the means of reproduction. Leyla name drops em’ all trying to confuse Josh: Mary Wolstencraft, Dickens, Hawthorne. They’re all coming for your sexual stigmas and vulnerabilities.Leyla also has some deeply set childhood trauma from, you guessed it, “Meet the Parents”. No… Not meeting someones parents. The 2000 motion picture comedy, starring Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro of course. And finally, what to do when your date is pregnant. As usual, Reddit has answers.

Our dear friend Heather is on the show today to teach us the secrets to finding a partner: Low key stalk somebody. She would know. She’s married to “a literal angel”. (Her words. Seriously!) That’s not to say she didn’t experience bumps in the road along the way. We’ll hear of her experience getting out of the single world just before the Tinder craze swiped the nation and dating someone with a screamo band neck tattoo. It involves a car theft. It gets pretty wild. After hearing how easy married folks make this whole dating game look, Leyla will get a brand new dating challenge we’re anxious to hear results on.And of course, Josh is here to circle back around to the geopolitical climate’s impacting romantic and inter-gender relations. His prediction of the rights mainstream weaponization of the #MeToo movement was on overdrive and came to fruition before we even got our next episode out! There’s doctored tapes and wild accusations abound today!Jim Acosta? He hardly touched her!! (Say it with a hard “drop the R” Boston accent. I swear this format works here.)

You know Josh loves kooky right wing conspiracy theories and will use any excuse he can to tie them back to relationships and male/female power dynamics. So we’re diving in to explore what the cultural implications may be of the bizarre attempt to weaponize the #MeToo movement by Twitter provocateurs Jacob Wohl and Jack Berkman. …Plus it’s just too hilarious not to talk about. Leyla’s getting deep about the romantic relationships of her youth in discussions with her dad (Unfortunately he’s not on the show. Yet).Finally, Josh has been diving into the world of publications on modern masculinity in search of a single beautiful pearl of healthy wisdom. Will he return from the depths a better stronger man? Or will sink into their depths only to return a swamp thing amalgamation of MRA Red-Pill platitudes? Tune in to find out.

That’s right bay-bay! Trains are making a comeback in a BIG way. Keep your eyes peeled in 2019 because your two year old nephew has his pulse on all the hottest trends.In this episode we’ll wipe our hands clean of Brett Kavanaugh and remind you that Bill Clinton’s treatment of women is actually worse. (Send your angry emails to stilltryingbuds@gmail.com) Josh dabbles in a real world version of scenes from the Netflix series Love, taking a date to his version of the Magic Castle. Will he and his date sink or swim? Tune in to find out!We also return to Reddit, that treasure trove of contemplative content. This time, members of r/datingoverthirty ask “Why won’t he say he loves me?” BECAUSE THAT BOY DON’T LOVE HIMSELF GIRL. GET OUT! GET! OUT!!!Build your house on stilts cus’ the oceans are rising, but so long as we’re here, we’re gonna keep on trying!

TW: This episode contains frank discussion about sexual assault and rape culture that may be difficult for some listeners.Are we living in a hell world folks? Sure. But (if we may loosely steal from Prince) are we all gathered here today to get through this thing called life? Absolutely. We’re doing our unqualified best on this episode to help navigate the Brett Kavanaugh issue; the fact that as of writing these notes, a man credibly accused of sexual assault who stood in front of a Senate Judiciary Committee and drunkenly ranted about conspiracy theories against him while perjuring himself dozens of times about recorded references to wanton sex acts, is possibly about to take a lifetime seat on the Supreme Court as one of the 9 most powerful people on the planet. But hey, he likes BEER okay? Don’t you like BEER? We all like BEER! I’ve never blacked out from drinking BEER! HAVE YOU SENATOR?!But to be serious for a bit we’ll explore how we deal with ourselves and our own judgements in light of these things. And what does our cultural reaction to behavior from both the gross, condescending, conservative power structure as well as the purity identity politics, social media woke-tivist crowd tell us to do with masculinity? Is there a place in our society for a non-toxic masculinity?We also try to perk things up in the second half with a reading series from Connor Kilpatrick’s excellent article from the Summer 2018 issue of Jacobin It’s Okay to Have Children. We’re taking on both liberal and conservative views on who should and shouldn’t have children in our reading series and not pulling punches. Yup. It’s a dating podcast that’s ALL politics today, so send your angry emails to stilltryingbuds@gmail.com.