Unlisted Wall

That last one....nearly killed us. But now we return to complete the run of cinematic Predator entries(via streaming)with the 2022 entry no one saw coming, even without optic camouflage. The story of a young Comanche out to prove herself a capable hunter, loyal pupper at her side, as an extraterrestrial hunter stalks and eliminates its way up the food chain of the Northern Great Plains circa three centuries ago. Turns out hope for the future of this franchise lay in the past, who knew? This morning in the sky, Ben saw a sign. The thunderbird. He's been practicing. It's time; Charles doesn't know what he's on about, he ate some strange orange herbs and he can't feel a thing from the coldness in his blood.

Just like that, we're back in space(but still in the jungle)to kick off the next pair of Predator sequels, though we're sadly back on Earth right after. Experience the highs and lows with us as we appreciate a loving tribute to the original, followed by a tribute to setting a beloved franchise on fire. Adrien Brody(who turns 50 on the day of this episode's release)heads up a group of international abductees who are all accomplished killers as they fight to survive being stalked by a tantalizing trio of alien hunters, while Boyd Holbrook heads up a group of mentally unwell veterans as they fight to do, uh....something or other involving Predators, it was hard to remember one moment to the next in the unfortunate mess of a film he and his costars are in. Ben is not a good man after all......but he's fast; Charles doesn't talk more because he talks too much.

Our safari continues with the follow-up to the magnificent '87 original, this time alongside lethal weapon Danny Glover and his tough-as-nails vice squad(and their erstwhile stalker, the city hunter)as they combat multiple heavily armed drug running cartels, their ball-busting loudmouth captain, their ball-busting loudmouth tabloid news critic, their spinebusting mimic-mouthed alien adversary, and Gary Busey. With more blood and guts and sex and drugs, this time around there's all different things to talk about, and we talk a lot of sugar about how different an experience this one is when compared to the first, while still pairing strongly and enriching the world's story. Ben says he'll call later, he's got his meeting with King Willie; Charles is kidnapped by G-men and made to listen to a speech about the lions, the tigers, the bears....oh, myyy. 

The second leg of our Alien/Predator arc kicks off with the incomparable '87 classic, the original Predator starring Arnold Schwarzenegger(and his badass ensemble featuring Carl Weathers and Jesse "The Body" Ventura). Time to let Ol' Painless out the bag and have us some fun tonight as we take a stroll on the wrong side of the border looking for the mythical cabinet minister. Dig in like an Alabama tick and enjoy as we leave behind chestbursters and facehuggers to make friends with the jungle hunter and make our trophies of man. Ben knows one thing, he drew down and fired straight at it. Capped off two hundred rounds in the minigun, full pack. Nothing... nothing on this earth could have lived. Not at that range; Charles has been pushing too many pencils, but he's got time to duck.

Our time with the Xenomorph draws to its conclusion for now, as we wrap our look at the mainline Alien filmography with Ridley Scott's pair of prequels examining the mythic origins of the perfect organism. Though their reception was mixed at best, we find some things to admire while we struggle through the first film's identity crisis and the second's by-the-numbers relapse into the doldrums of formula. Ben is asked how far he would go to get what he came all this way for - his answers? What would he be willing to do? Charles refuses to believe that mankind is a random by-product of molecular circumstance, as he takes the proffered glass and drinks it down.

We take a turn down a dark alley and find ourselves trapped with the third and fourth installments of the Alien franchise, one is cubed, the other risen from the dead. Just in time for the Christmas holiday, we celebrate in suffering as Ripley's happy ending transforms into a lice-ridden yellow and brown hellscape, with a queenly gift in her metaphorical stocking. When all that's worked itself out, she gets another shot at life as a cloned human with benefits in a wacky future that's somehow just as borked as the century she checked out of. Ben decides a third rifle isn't enough, there's a handgun further down the shadowy corridor; Charles asks if they have the capacity to make fire, most humans have enjoyed that privilege since the stone age.

We're on an express episode to hell, goin' DOWN as we continue our Alien and Predator arc as well as conclude our 3rd Annual Spooktacular with James Cameron's stellar sequel to Ridley Scott's heart-stopper from 1979. Our runtime goes pretty long as we're unable to stifle our admiration and appreciation for this remarkably influential and relentless legend of sci-fi. Load your ordinance, prep your dropship and saddle up 5x5 in your armored personnel carrier as we return to LV-426(Acheron)to investigate what is probably just a downed transmitter and certainly not a bug hunt. Ben says we take off and nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure; Charles says he'll go, he's the only one qualified to remote-pilot the ship anyway.

Space beckons us back, and we scream no....but it seems no one can hear us. Our exploration of the xenomorph begins, of course, with Ridley Scott's landmark original from 1979. Doing double duty as the first half of our 3rd Annual Spooktacular, Alien brings us the thrills, spills and kills as the crew of the Nostromo deal with their horrific stowaway. The first thing Ben's going to do when he gets back is get some decent food; Charles feels that the bonus situation has never been on an equitable level.

Our arc of epic-scale blockbusters with historical backdrops concludes with Mad Mel's first big hit as director(and star and producer), the one about freedom and such. Although this one arguably has the most historical inconsistency, Charles repeatedly vows not to make the whole episode about such things(while occasionally doing so despite himself). Fictionalized elements and Gibson's love of horse butchery aside, we wax poetic about how entertaining this one still is after all this time, releasing when Ben was still only a wee bairn. At the end we spill the beans on season 4's next big arc, our longest awaited block yet. Ben calls for the archers, they'll hit his own troops but hit theirs as well; the Almighty tells Charles this must be a fashionable fight, it's drawn the finest people.

Our crusade for less-than-factual history escapes the boundaries of Europe as we center on Ridley Scott's largely forgotten look at Jerusalem, Kingdom of Heaven, as well as an overlooked road trip fronted by Sean Bean and a young Newt Scamander in Black Death. With leprosy to the left of us, and bubonic plague to the right, we're stuck in the middle with you the listener dodging fire from trebuchets and torture wagons against a backdrop of sieges and witch hunts. Ben has learned much nestled inside a monastery, demons and necromancers are among us, as you will find out soon enough; Charles puts no stock in religion, by the word religion he has seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of God.

This week we walk a path through "history" paved with stones from the very bosom of Greece herself, seeking to look upon ancient Sparta. We make our camp in the pass through the doors of the recording studio, where Xerxes's numbers count for nothing. Our farewell tour of Greece is guided by bold Leonidas and noble Themistocles, by both land and sea. It takes even longer than we expect, since they keep stopping to do crunches and pushups. Ben gives them nothing, but takes from them everything; Charles readies his breakfast and eats heartily, for tonight he dines in hell. 

We've been away a while, what with season 3 ending with us in Hell courtesy of the Event Horizon. Now that we're back, we've decided to stay here on Earth and take a tour of the past with season 4's opening block of ahistorical epics. First up, a pair of turn of the century blockbusters in Ridley Scott's Gladiator and Wolfgang Petersen's Troy. Both films combined topped the six-hour mark via the extended versions, and as a result we've posted our longest runtime yet....will our speaking voices hold out? At night Ben sees their faces. All the men he's killed. They're standing there on the far bank of the river Styx. They're waiting for him; Five thousand of Charles's men are out there in the freezing mud. Three thousand of them are bloodied and cleaved, two thousand will never leave this place. He will not believe they fought and died for nothing.

Our troubles in space finally reach their end with the fiery duo of Danny Boyle's Sunshine and Paul Anderson's Event Horizon, a match made in Hell(literally, in part). A star-stacked ensemble led by Cillian Murphy flies too close to the Sun trying to save our species from solar winter, and we reunite with Dr. Alan Grant(who still isn't feeling better after his visit to a mental ward courtesy of Sutter Cane)in orbit around Neptune to explore the eponymous rediscovered deep space vessel. Where did it come from? Where did it go? Will it show us secrets or kill us slow.....Ben folds a piece of paper and pokes a hole through it to show Charles the concept of a wormhole; Charles has been listening to the distress signal, and he may have made a mistake in the translation...

It's time to leave our solar system with Chris Nolan's space survival epic, Interstellar. Featuring black holes, quirky robots, mountainous waves, surprise Matt Damons, tasty cornfields, and lots and lots of gravity, we refuse to go gentle into that good night as we watch McConaughey struggle to save the species and return to Earth before his kids die of old age. Ben has a cue light he can use to show you when he's joking, you can use it to find your way back to the ship after he blows you out the airlock; Charles has an honesty parameter of 90%, absolute honesty isn't always the most diplomatic nor the safest form of communication with emotional beings.

This week we're leaving Earth's near vicinity for a pair of films that have the red planet in the mix. One's a story of rescuing Matt Damon(good thing we've narrowed down which one of those it is in the title)and the other is a chilling little sendup of Alien that happens WAY closer to home. Ben doesn't want to come off as arrogant here, but he's the greatest botanist on this planet, Mars will come to fear his botany powers; Charles is definitely gonna die up here if he has to listen to any more of Commander Lewis's god-awful disco music.

After a long lunar layover we resume our trouble-in-space block with a pair of tension-filled nailbiters in the genre; one a visceral physical struggle, the other a moralistic conundrum. Although both of these have extraordinarily low character counts we manage to completely fail to bring it up due to Charles' frayed nerves upon watching both of these back-to-back. Ben goes for the all-time space walking record; Charles contemplates the epi-pen of doom.

We break orbit with our fictional odyssey for now and turn towards the non-fiction odyssey of the human race's quest for space(and its subsequent troubles)with a pair of star-studded films centering on Apollo Mission astronauts. The events depicted in these films are less than a year apart, though nearly a quarter-century passed in real time between movies, and make for engaging contrast in our discussion(also, Ben knows a lot about space). Ben doesn't care about what anything was designed to do, he cares about what it CAN do, if they can make a washing machine fly he can land it; if anyone from the IRS is listening, Charles forgot to file his 1040 return, he meant to do it today, but, uh...

We begin our tour of things going wrong in space with the landmark Kubrick classic and its follow up from over fifteen years later, written by sci-fi titan Arthur C. Clarke. Put your investigative crew into hibernation and make peace with Soviet cosmonauts as we throw ourselves into alien monoliths and down psychedelic space tunnels. Charles thought this mission would be easy as cake, what happened to Russian commo sense? Ben can see he's really upset about this, and honestly thinks he ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.

We wrap the 2nd annual Spooktacular with the third of John Carpenter's apocalypse trilogy, his ode to HP Lovecraft starring Dr. Alan--er, Sam Neill as a claims investigator who gets a tad more than he bargained for. Ben asks Charles if he ever told him his favorite color was blue; Charles says to never, never, never.....throw chips at a driver.

The second annual Spooktacular kicks off with the spine-tingling chiller centering on a young woman fleeing from a horrible supernatural force in the form of an STD(the D is for demon). Ben thinks some firearm training is a great idea, and asks Charles if he can see the lady in the yellow dress; Charles says it's been three days so everything should be fine, he may just go for a swim at the community pool.

We must train ourselves to let go of those we are afraid to lose, or those we must wait years until another season comes about to see again. For now our travels with Mando and his little green friend are over as we pore over the final two chapters of season two; The Believer, and The Rescue. Ben suggests a toast to Operation Cinder, he doesn't just know it, he lived it...he was in Burnin Konn. Charles wants the Darksaber, but he can't take it, it must be won in battle. Without that blade, he's a pretender to the throne.

The middle section of season two has some new places and old faces for us to see, along with a lot of stormtroopers that were apparently in dire need of being brutalized. As we take our tour of episodes The Siege, The Jedi, and The Tragedy we reminisce on the future, the past, and old friends long gone. Nostalgia tries to take hold, but Ben has seen what such feelings can do to a fully trained Jedi Knight, to the best of us. All Charles wants is his armor, his chain code has been encoded in that armor for twenty-five years.

We've been quested to continue on into season two. If we can find other Mandalorians, they can help guide us. May as well take the space turnpike back to Tatooine since it's been so long, but hey! Familiar sights can lead to welcome surprises, and the second season of the Disney Plus flagship show has many of those in store. Beginning with episodes The Marshal, The Passenger, and The Heiress we follow Mando and his little green friend as they bounce from one misadventure to another, looking for the mythical enemy wizards with whom the child belongs. Technically, Ben should be under arrest, but these are trying times and he apprehended three priority criminals from the wanted register. Charles has never met a real Mandalorian, heard stories. He knows they're good at killing, and probably none too happy to see him wearing that hardware.

Our time with season one comes to an end as we pore over the final two chapters, The Reckoning and Redemption. We learn the names and histories of our central heroes, and finally meet the architect of all our pain, the sinister Moff Gus--er, Gideon, that's it, Gideon. Along with Iggy, Nick Nolte and the 501st, the gang's all here for our grand showdown with the leftovers of the Galactic Empire. Ben finds it a shame that your people suffered so. The Empire improves every podcast it touches, judge by any metric; the assurance Charles gives is this - he will act in his own self-interest, which at this time involves your listening and benefit.

Our trip through the first season continues with the middle block: Sanctuary, The Gunslinger, and The Prisoner. From space orcs to familiar space ports to Bill freakin' Burr, we follow along as Lone Wolf and Frog try to stay ahead of the bounty hunters' guild and the Imperial client that hired them. As for Ben, he's one of the best triggermen we've seen. Former Imperial sharpshooter(not a stormtrooper, wise-ass!). Charles tries to spend some time relaxing in a backwater common house, but it's already taken.

A little Ugnaught told us it was time once again to switch formats, this time to television. We tried pushing back, we tried stalling, but he had spoken. And so, bounty pucks in hand, we begin with season one of the Disney Plus flagship series, spanning the first three chapters The Mandalorian, The Child, and The Sin. How many of them had tracking fobs? All of them. ALL of them! They hate Ben, because he's a legend. Charles offers him advice before shaping the beskar ingots; When one chooses to walk the Way of the Podcaster, you are both hunter and prey.

Fresh off creating our own Viking sanctuary, we head back to the 90s to create the perfect theme park. From Ferris Wheels to Mango Madness, we strive(with help from Charles' wife)to make all the biggest and best rides...and there's no doubt, our attractions will drive kids out of their minds. Ben wants to make the first ever totally upside-down coaster, sparing no expense; Charles can't figure out the computer track controls, he hates this hacker crap.

Lo there do I see my father; lo there do I see my mother, and my sister, and my brothers. Lo there do I see the early access Viking survival sandbox hit, Valheim. We try to earn our way to Valhalla with happy bees and longship expeditions into hostile territory, while building up our stores at the Great Oak Homestead. Ben could eat another bite, please pass the blood pudding; Charles wants to master his axe and hammer in the legendary Rock Dojo.

We say goodbye to Killers, and now the hunted become the Hunters! Well, actually we can't hurt these killers either, but we can call them names. We give ourselves a spook with last year's surprise early access phenomenon, the psychological ghost-hunting horror dispenser Phasmophobia. Can we get photos of infamous demon Karen White and survive? Only the Ouija board knows for sure. Ben asks inappropriate questions through the spirit box, while Charles tries to explain the scope of the paranormal energy levels with representation via Twinkie.

Escaping the zombie apocalypse of Left 4 Dead has landed us somewhere even worse - in the web of the mysterious and diabolical Entity. We roll up our sleeves to work on some gens and wipe off our knives and stabbing weapons to tackle the runaway hit Dead By Daylight from Behaviour Interactive. Ben insists that Charles quit stalking him, despite his insistence that he doesn't know what a Tier III is; Charles reasons that their friend doesn't need unhooking, they never would've ended up on that hook if they'd just been more carefulcarefulcarefulcareful.

Flying away from the wreckage of defeated Star Destroyers, we come back down to Earth to find a ravaged zombie hellscape awaiting us. We grab some pills and kill all sons-a-bitches with Valve's 2009 follow up to their seminal zombie shooter Left 4 Dead. After covering our time recently returning to the game we share some of our personal all-time favorites in the general topic section. Ben asks who died and made him gun monitor; Charles sadly tells him pretty much everybody, though it comes out a bit muffled due to being strangled by a Smoker.

Following the completion of our first year of publishing, we finally put the multi in our multimedia pod by making our first format switch, from movies to video games. So as not to make the circle incomplete, we return to our inaugural subject of Star Wars as the first object of focus - namely the 2020 team-based combat simulator, Squadrons. The better part of the episode is devoted to an overview of the game itself, mainly generalization of the concept and primary player experience, with the episode's back end given breathing room for us to speak on our past history with gaming as a hobby. Ben suggests nothing too fancy, flying is for droids; Charles gets no reading on that shield, up or down, but his friends are down there so don't worry.

Our time with Nicolas comes to an end as we wrap our discussion of Cage's trio of action blockbusters, bringing Con Air in for landing and then switching places for the genre/performance blending Face/Off. Once they catch the supercop, Ben would like to take his...his face...off. Eyes, nose, skin...it's coming off. Charles just wishes the FBI would stop shooting his place up.

In Nomine Nicolas, et Cagii, et Coppola Sancti, Amen. Our discussion of the three back-to-back action films that shot Cage into orbit begins, as we take a complete tour of The Rock and then board Con Air up until our connecting flight. Look, Ben's just a biochemist. Most of the time he works in a little glass jar and leads a very uneventful life. He drives a Volvo, a beige one. Charles has bettered himself inside. Earned two degrees, including his juris doctorate. He also killed eleven inmates, incited three riots, and escaped twice. He's a true product of the system.

Chronomancy and alien numerology behind us, now our friend Nick shows us the ways of demonology and the occult with another pair of his 21st century projects. Ben makes Charles buy the drinks, even though they killed the same number of innocent people; the neo-pagans won't take Charles's money for the mead unless he's in a bear suit.

This week we discover that Cage did, in fact, make two separate movies and not the singular picture that the Mandela effect convinced us existed. Ben peeks two minutes into the future to avoid the federal agents closing in; Charles and his rabbits are stalked and terrified by albino whisperers.

It doesn't matter how far you run, there are some demons you just can't escape. Ours is named Nicholas Cage, he used to act for a living. He won an Oscar for Best Actor, but then he made a deal with the Devil. Now he's out to steal our souls and take our podcast for a ride. Ben figures helming an excavator should count as riding it, so why wouldn't it catch on fire? Charles says any man that's got the guts to sell his soul for podcasting has got the power to change the world.

Since the wastelands of post-apocalyptic Earth failed to kill us off, we've turned instead to someone sure to be up to the task: Nicholas Cage. We start by examining the Indiana Jones/Assassin's Creed hybrid where Nick steals the Declaration of Independence to save it from those who would borrow it. Ben seemingly has to choose between saving the document or letting Charles fall to his death, but he's got other plans; Charles begs Harvey Keitel not to send him to prison, but Harv is adamant that somebody's got to.

We are Street Podcasters, and we are very late for work. Mega City One is a meat grinder - people go in one end, meat comes out the other. All Ben and Charles do is turn the handle. Both of the film adaptations of 2000 A.D.'s Judge Dredd are included as we wrap our post-apocalypse run with the Cursed Earth patrolled in turn by Sylvester Stallone and Karl Urban. You want fear? Ben's the fear. You want chaos? Ben's the chaos. But is he a pass or fail? Charles considers carefully before deciding: "He's a pass."

It's impossible to believe that Ben and Charles have ignored several warnings to conform to the rules that are vital to the continued growth and well-being of their beloved podcast, but they did. The Farm, both of them, after their current stretch of episodes is done. Charles doesn't know what a putz is, but he figures it's something bad and Ben better take it back; Ben would certainly say Charles has marvelous judgment, if not particularly good taste.

We go in, find the President, bring him out in twenty-four hours, and we're free men. We're taking the liberty of bending the rules this week by examining the looks-like-post-apocalypse but technically dystopian Escape From New York, where John Carpenter did us all the 'solid' of giving Kurt Russell's film career the launchpad it needed. Ben flew the Gullfire over Leningrad, he knows how to get in quiet; Brain swears to God, he thought Charles was dead, like everybody else.

The search for a different kind of wasteland has delivered us into the hands of Kevin Costner's back to back post-apocalypse disasters. Ben knows the code - two Drifters meet, something needs to be exchanged; nothing's free in Waterworld. Charles was an aerospace engineer. He helped design the Galileo space station. He dreams it's orbiting Earth forever, with a dozen human skeletons all grinning at each other.

Cursed be the ground for our sake. Both Ben and Charles it shall bring forth for us. For out of the studio were we taken, for the podcasters we are...and to the studio we shall return. Denzel Washington takes his turn as our apocalyptic shepherd as we walk out West. What Ben likes about no soap, is that he can smell hijackers a mile off; Charles grew up with that book, he knows its power, if you make him choose he'll kill you and take it.

Our name is Unlisted Wall. Our world is fire and blood. Once, we were podcasters. Microphone warriors searching for a righteous cause. We finish out our time with Max in 2015's Fury Road before finding another guide to take us through the wastelands. Ben is your redeemer; it is by his hand that you shall rise from the ashes of this world(as long as you don't become addicted to water). Charles was awaited in Valhalla; they were calling his name....he should be walking with the Immortan or feasting with the heroes of our time.

Well ain't we a pair, raggedy men. Though we'd love to dwell on the remainder of Road Warrior, we eventually have to just walk away and plot a course Beyond Thunderdome. Right now we've got two podcasters with a gut full of fear; ladies and gentlemen, dyin' time's here! Ben knows the law: two men enter, one man leaves. But he says that Charles has broken the law. Right or wrong, they had a deal. And the law says: bust a deal and face the wheel! Charles is betting on Gulag.

Greetings from Unlisted Wall! The Lords Unlisted....The Warriors of Podcasting...The Ayatollers of Rock and Rollers! Moving from laughter to slaughter, we begin a run of post-apocalyptic cinema with the original Mad Max and partial discussion of the follow up Mad Max 2(The Road Warrior in the United States). It's Ben's snake, he trained it, he gets to eat it. He's got a recipe for snake. Two days ago Charles saw a vehicle that would haul that tanker; you want to get out of here, you talk to him.

Ben and Charles started out as foe. But after that courageous act that Ben showed against the one they call Derek, maybe someday they could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale. The comedy tour concludes as Will Ferrell and John Reilly lay waste to each other and their parents' marriage. Ben saw Charles die, but he was faking, he used ninja focus to slow his heart rate down; later Ben must use his angelic voice(like Fergie mixed with Jesus)to help Charles onstage and save the Catalina Wine Mixer.

Leslie Nielsen returns, but not to protect us, this time he cuts off our hands and feet, gouges out our eyes and impales us on iron spikes! But, we have it coming. Professor Ben Helsing of London University is a doctor of rare diseases as well as theology and philosophy(and gynaecology); he prescribes for Charles a straitjacket and an enema. Wait, an enema first, then a straitjacket!

Our comedy tour takes a pit stop to relax at the local Alley with this touching autobiographical drama. Ben is furious at Charles for losing to a club player, he's supposed to be carrying a 270 average; Charles isn't sure fifteen frames is legal, but it's fun though, isn't it?

'Tis the season for romantic love, although that term may not mean what you think it means. The timeless classic fairy tale leads us to many tangents and the prescience of mask-wearing. Ben puts down his rock and Charles puts down his sword, and they try to kill each other like civilized people.

Option A, we fudge the rules a bit to include this film as The Rock's first comedy leading role. Option B, we include it anyway and face the consequences. Ben really needs to pee, but the water is full of candiru, not this boy's pinto. Charles is serenaded to the tune of Highland Laddie, before being trampled by a lot of cows.