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The Savvy Sauce
What Books are Healthiest for Your Tween or Teen an Interview with Betsy Farquhar and Hayley Morell (Episode 293)

The Savvy Sauce

Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2026 69:43


What Books are Healthiest for Your Tween or Teen an Interview with Betsy Farquhar and Hayley Morell (Episode 293)   *Disclaimer: Some of this content is not intended for young audiences. Please use discretion.   Proverbs 4:7 NIV “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”   *Transcription Below*   Betsy Farquhar holds Masters degrees in Children's Literature and Information and Library Science. She taught middle and high school English, homeschooled her three children, and has served on many book award committees.   Hayley Morell loves reading, writing, trying new recipes, knitting, or chatting with her parrot. Hayley loves traveling and lived abroad in Europe and Asia. She and her husband and infant live in Wisconsin in an old house overflowing with books and are active in their local community.   Their Website, Book, and Social Media Handles: Instagram @redeemed_reader and Facebook: @redeemedreader   Thank you to our sponsor: Sam Leman Eureka   Questions and Topics We Cover: What are some benefits of reading and why is it worthwhile to devote our time to curating a healthy diet of books? Can you elaborate on why the Young Adult or YA category is the most controversial? What is on your radar for genres or books that will require even more discernment in the future?   Other Savvy Sauce Episode Mentioned: 21. Promoting a Family Culture of Reading with Megan Kaeb 22. Inspiring Your Children to Become Readers, Part Two with Megan Kaeb 253. Low Tech Parenting with Erin Loechner 273. Wise Living: Why to Get Outside, and Travel, and Read Aloud with Amber O'Neal Johnston   Connect with The Savvy Sauce on Facebook or Instagram or Our Website   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”    Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”    John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*‍   Music: (0:00 – 0:11)   Laura Dugger: (0:12 - 1:46) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   The principles of honesty and integrity that Sam Leman founded his business on continue today over 55 years later at Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka.   Owned and operated by the Bertschi family, Sam Leman and Eureka appreciates the support they've received from their customers all over Central Illinois and beyond. Visit them today at lemangm.com.   My guests for today are Betsy Farquhar and Haley Morrill, two of the four authors of this book, The Redeemed Reader, which is also the name of the website that they run together where they have thousands of book reviews for children and tweens and teens.   We all know that books are so powerful, so it's vitally important that we're discerning both for what we're intaking and the filters that we use to allow our children to engage with books in our home. We're going to sprinkle book recommendations throughout this episode, and you're also going to learn some surprising things, such as more details about the YA or young adult category. Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Betsy and Haley.   Betsy Farquhar: (1:48 - 1:49) Thanks. It's good to be here.   Laura Dugger: (1:50 - 1:57) I would love to just start out hearing the way that the two of you found your way into the work that you get to do today.   Betsy Farquhar: (1:58 - 2:42) Mine started way back in the 1900s when I was in college. I did my senior thesis on children's literature, George MacDonald, and that led to a children's literature class my last semester, which led me to grad school with one of my now co-workers, but at the time fellow students and friends, and we got our master's in children's literature. And then rabbit trail, lots of detours, children, marriage. She and I started a blog back when those were cool and hip, and it was reviewing children's books and that was just for fun. And then we connected with Janie and Emily from Redeemed Reader. Through that blog venue, we were commenting on each other's blogs, and they brought us on board. And so here we are 15 years later.   Hayley Morell: (2:43 - 3:38) And for me, I was a high schooler. I was homeschooled. I loved reading.   So, I started my own blog back in the teenage years and I was always looking for book recommendations and came upon Redeemed Reader in the early days. I turned out they were looking for an intern. I started interning and at the end of my internship, Emily Witten, who was our founder, asked if I'd like to stay on.   And that was 14 or 15 years ago now. So, I was younger. And so, I had a period at college.   I studied at Boyce College. I worked in children's ministry and worked as a private tutor. So, a lot of interactions with children.   I was known as the babysitter with the book bag for a number of years. And now I've got my own little, and so I'm in the land of board books and happily working at Redeemed Reader.   Laura Dugger: (3:39 - 3:49) I love hearing that. And if people are watching this through video, can you both just say your name, so we know who's Betsy and who's Haley? I'm Haley.   Betsy Farquhar: (3:50 - 3:51) I'm Betsy.   Laura Dugger: (3:52 - 4:07) Okay, wonderful. Thank you for that. And at Redeemed Reader, I'm assuming you have so many book recommendations to try and read and review.   So, how do you even determine which books you are going to review?   Hayley Morell: (4:08 - 7:49) So, right now we are wrapping up one of the things we love doing, which is providing award coverage. In January is when the American Library Association announces their awards, and they like to recognize the best middle grade with the Newberry, the best picture books with the Caldecott, and then a number of other awards. We know that those books are going to be going into lots of libraries and schools.   And so, we like to provide coverage of that and review those books that we know parents are going to be seeing on shelves and wondering, is this a good book? Should we be reading this? What do we want to check out?   We also like to watch what is popular. What is causing discussion? So, several years ago, that was The Hunger Games.   And there was a lot of questions about dystopia. Should we be reading this? Is this helpful?   Do I want my teen reading The Hunger Games? More recently, some popular middle grade series like Keeper of the Lost Cities have had a lot of parents asking, what is this series? Is there anything I should know about?   And so, we try to have a balanced review. We review books that you're going to find at the library. We also like to review books that maybe you wouldn't know about.   So, a smaller Christian imprint, for example, we like to review that type of book to encourage readers to read widely, to read Christian authors, to read secular authors. We like books. And so, we each bring our own specialty to the team and experience.   Janie, who's our senior editor, is a children's author. She loves history. And so, as the community relations manager, I tend to handle review requests.   So, when somebody asks us, can you review this book? It's popular. Or I'm an author.   I wrote a book. Can you review it? I'll look at the book.   I'll look at how hard is it to get? We do try to review books that are easy to find, that you might find in your local library. But then I'll look at our team.   So, for Janie, if it is going to be a nonfiction history, let's say for a 10 to 12-year-old, I know that's going to be up her alley. Meanwhile, Betsy loves poetry. She loves nature, nonfiction.   Betsy is a very, I'd say you're one of our Renaissance people. And so, I know Betsy is going to be inclined towards maybe a novel and verse. And she also likes dealing with high school books.   You've got that teacher education background, where if it is an epic poem, Betsy is going to be our reviewer. Megan is our amazing picture book author. She's super creative, loves picture books.   Megan is who I turn to when I find a picture book. Meanwhile, I used to handle as I was the team member of the team and then turned into my 20s. So, I gravitated toward YA, and I still love a good YA fantasy.   But I am now in board book land and picture books. So, I have been expanding my reach. I do serve on our middle grade fiction, so I can help out with middle grades.   But each of us will flex in, flex out. Megan has a large family of boys. And so, if it's a boy book, she is a great person.   We love to send those to her to see if her boys like them. And that's, I could keep going because we love books, but that's a big snapshot.   Laura Dugger: (7:50 - 8:09) That's so helpful because you cover such a wide variety of books throughout your team. And as curators of book reviews, what questions are you most commonly receiving, both from young people and maybe their parents as well?   Hayley Morell: (8:12 - 9:22) I think we often get questions like, is this book clean? Is this book safe? And we like to kind of change that question.   And we like to say, why is the content in this book? Because that can be different, you know, depending on something that is in a picture book, which wouldn't be appropriate for an age, could be very appropriate for a YA book and a great discussion starter. So, it definitely depends on the content and what audience and what age of the audience we're dealing with.   So, we try to, as people ask us, well, is this safe or is this clean? Should I read this? We want to build discernment and encourage parents to interact, parents and educators to interact with our reviews.   And they know their reader. They know how their reader is going to receive a book. And what questions might come up.   And so, we like to help interact with that conversation. And then there's another kind of question we often get, which I'm going to let Betsy answer.   Betsy Farquhar: (9:23 - 10:10) The other question is, my kid likes blank kind of book or is blank kind of reader. What do I get for him or her? And so that, of course, can vary widely.   But people love to know what book is right for my family or my classroom or my child. And so, we try to write our reviews with that question in mind, not to make a blanket statement, you should all read this book, or nobody should read this book, but to give parents and educators enough information to make that decision for themselves. And then we started doing these reels on Instagram, where we're pretending we're answering a customer service phone call with questions we've been asked, right?   My son only likes video games, or my daughter doesn't want fantasy, but she reads these kinds of books. And so, we try to help people think that through.   Laura Dugger: (10:10 - 10:14) So, that's really how we continue.   Hayley Morell: (10:15 - 11:09) Sorry. And one more question that we often get because we are book reviewers is, will you review my book? And so, at that point, we do have a process.   We encourage people to submit a request. And it could be maybe a book they're curious about and would just like a review from us, or they're an author or a publisher. And so, in that case, we direct them to our review submission form.   And like I said before, we are definitely looking for books that are easy to find. That will encourage us to review a book, because while we love books that are like smaller imprints, et cetera, and we do try to provide coverage for that, we also are aware that a lot of our audience only has their library or their school library. And so, we are trying to do books that are easy to find and accessible for our readers.   Laura Dugger: (11:10 - 11:40) Okay, that's really helpful to hear what people are writing in and asking you about. And so, hearing the sweet spot from each team member, and then Betsy, how you mentioned people love to know what's right for my family. So, no, this won't fit every situation. But can you give examples of maybe books that the four of you find yourselves recommending quite a bit because they are ones that fit a wide range of people?   Betsy Farquhar: (11:41 - 13:39) Of course, we put a ton of recommendations in our book that came out in the fall. And those are sort of our most common recommendations. We have a place on our website called Starred Reviews.   And those are the best of the best in our mind of their genre. So, if you're looking for graphic novels, and you see a star on a graphic novel, it's because we think this is an amazing graphic novel. So, that's just a helpful framework, because of course, people are all over the map, right?   We're in the midst of whittling down our Book of the Year for this year. And we also have our Reader's Choice Book of the Year. And those books are ones we tend to recommend all the time.   So, I'm going to give you just some samples of what are on our Reader's Choice list, because that is a public list. And I can't reveal the 2025 releases we're considering for the other one. But for our Book of the Year for the Reader's Choice this year, we have The Found Boys by S. D. Smith.   We've got, I've got them all right here, Olivetti by Allie Millington. There's The Hiding Place: A Graphic Novel and the Watership Down: The Graphic Novel that are both really fun. People have really enjoyed them.   We've got the first book in The Dream Keeper Saga by Kathryn L. Butler. That's a Christian fantasy series. We've got Enemies in the Orchard, which is the novel in verse about World War II.   One Big Open Sky by Lesa Cline-Ransome, which is another novel in verse about some Black pioneers going west on a wagon train. And that might be, oh, The Puppets of Spelhorst by Kate DiCamillo. Kate DiCamillo is a super prolific author, and we do recommend her books often.   Her book, Ferris, was our Book of the Year last year. So, there's just a quick sampling of some middle grades' books. And middle grades, for people who don't know, that's the broad fourth through eighth grade age range.   You think of like ages 8 to 12. And they tend to be the broadest in audience. You can usually read those aloud to a younger audience, or even teenagers might find them enjoyable.   So, that's a good start.   Hayley Morell: (13:40 - 14:29) I do think one of the beauties of our team is that we've worked together for a long time. And we trust our team. And so, I will happily recommend a book that I haven't seen, but I know Betsy loved and reviewed.   And it's so fun reading the same books. So, like right now, since we're on award committees, we are seeing a lot of the same books and getting to talk about them. But I think it's one of our strengths that we each bring something to the table.   And I would say if someone really likes history, I'm going to look at what Janie has loved recently, because I know she is looking for those good new history books. And its so fun recommending books and getting to play to our strengths.   Laura Dugger: (14:31 - 16:16) And that comes out in book recommendations. When you're passionate about what you're reading, it's naturally contagious, I think. And now a brief message from our sponsor.   Sam Leman Chevrolet Eureka has been owned and operated by the Bertschi family for over 25 years. A lot has changed in the car business since Sam and Stephen's grandfather, Sam Leman, opened his first Chevrolet dealership over 55 years ago.   If you visit their dealership today, though, you'll find that not everything has changed. They still operate their dealership like their grandfather did, with honesty and integrity. Sam and Stephen understand that you have many different choices in where you buy or service your vehicle.   This is why they do everything they can to make the car buying process as easy and hassle-free as possible. They are thankful for the many lasting friendships that began with a simple welcome to Sam Leman's. Their customers keep coming back because they experience something different.   I've known Sam and Stephen and their wives my entire life, and I can vouch for their character and integrity, which makes it easy to highly recommend you check them out today. Your car buying process doesn't have to be something you dread, so come see for yourself at Sam Leman Chevrolet in Eureka. Sam and Stephen would love to see you, and they appreciate your business.   Learn more at their website, LemanEureka.com or visit them on Facebook by searching for Sam Leman Eureka. You can also call them on 309-467-2351. Thanks for your sponsorship.   I'm curious, over the years, what character qualities have you noticed in people who are now adults, but they originally fell in love with reading in childhood?   Betsy Farquhar: (16:17 - 17:39) So, that's a pretty broad question. I would think, I'm just going to paint this with broad strokes. People who read typically are people who think, and especially in a day and age where we're bombarded with screens and soundbites all the time, if somebody can actually read an analog book from start to finish, then typically they're going to be able to think about ideas in a different way than people who are just existing on soundbites.   So, the ability to think is pretty critical. There's been a lot of studies that show that people who read also have better empathy. It's just a way we can sort of step into somebody else's shoes, especially if we're reading a story about somebody who perhaps lived in a different time period, or they're from a different ethnic background, or even if there's just a different socioeconomic level, it helps us understand the people on the other side a little bit better.   So, that kind of, this twin characteristics of empathy and thoughtfulness, I think are pretty common. We all go through seasons where we don't read as much, whether we're stressed or perhaps, my kids are in college and they were avid readers in high school, and they're not doing a lot of reading for fun right now, but they know how to read and they enjoy it. So, they'll probably come back to that in the future.   So, I think that's a helpful thing to remember, just because your eight-year-old loves reading, when he or she is 18, they may not be reading as much, and that's okay. They'll probably come back to it.   Hayley Morell: (17:40 - 17:53) And I've definitely seen that with younger siblings too, burning out and then all of a sudden back, asking for book recommendations. And it's fun to know that reading habits stick around.   Laura Dugger: (17:55 - 18:38) That's well said. And yet, even if they lie dormant for a while, they may be reawakened in adulthood. But I think I find it's less common for someone to fall in love with reading for their first time as an adult.   So, I think it's very beneficial as parents to cultivate or instill this love of reading in our children. And you two are the experts. So, I'd love to hear your take on this.   What are some of the benefits of reading? And why is it worthwhile to devote our time to curating a healthy diet of books, both for ourselves, but especially for our children?   Hayley Morell: (18:39 - 20:06) Betsy, I think you might've said this once, but I think it came up as we were talking about writing our book. As I have a small child who's just starting to notice pages and we're reading board books and he's trying to reach for it. I remember someone once said that reading to a very young child, they're not registering the story yet.   They might be registering the pictures. But the time that we're taking reading, when I read to him or when my husband gets home from work and they read one board book together, he's not really looking at the book as much as he's looking at our face and hearing our voice. And books are becoming something that we do together and that we do as a family.   And it's a way that we're building relationships. And I think that's a great encouragement to me to keep reading. And I have nieces and nephews who loved books.   And then that's something that we enjoy the story together and we'll laugh over silly stories and we'll read. But I think that it's something that as we want to like curate our collections but also think about how are we encouraging children to love reading. It's if they see us reading too and see us enjoying books and still picking up a book ourselves.   I'm not sure, Betsy, if you have anything that you would add to that.   Betsy Farquhar: (20:07 - 20:41) Well, I just think the better we read anything, the better equipped we are to read the story in the Bible because God revealed himself to us in a written book. And so, we're sort of flexing those muscles when we read. And the more we can engage with what we read, even if it's a picture book with a five-year-old, we're beginning that practice of developing discernment.   And that's part of discipling our children. So, I do think it's all part of the same picture. It's not going to look the same for every family but just working on developing those muscles of discernment and reading intelligently, that's going to go a long way.   Laura Dugger: (20:43 - 22:07) I love how you bring in the Bible that is so important. And I found myself even just this week at bedtime praying over our daughters that they would have a love for the written word because that is what God has gifted to us. And I love how the word became flesh and dwelt among us, but he is the original storyteller and has instilled that in each of us.   And I think just a very practical way at any age to help our children cultivate this love is by reading aloud. And we recently were on a family vacation and had a rental vehicle and we had a long drive-in front of us and listened to the radio for a while. But we also like this tradition of reading one book aloud on a vacation.   So, we remember our time in Florida from one year was a place to hang the moon and it was a different book this year, but I get car sick while we're driving. So, I couldn't read it aloud. So, our oldest daughter read it aloud for all of us.   And I realized how much attention and focus is required and imagination to paint these pictures of the characters in your mind. And I just thought, wow, there's so much learning that's going on even as the one listening to the book, not reading the actual words.   Betsy Farquhar: (22:09 - 22:15) And a place to hang the moon was our reader's choice favorite last year. So, lots of our readers have read that one.   Laura Dugger: (22:16 - 22:36) It's such a good one. And as wonderful as books are, they're also powerful and influential. So, as you've reiterated, discernment is required.   And I'd love for you to elaborate on why the young adult, or the YA category can be the most controversial.   Hayley Morell: (22:38 - 25:12) Young adult protagonists are often upper teenage years. And so, we like to say, as we mentioned in our book, no topic is out of bounds. And this means that there can be a lot going on and a lot of messiness.   We like to use that word as we're talking about that. And sometimes the messiness can be thought provoking. Sometimes it can be provocative.   And we have noticed often YA deals with questions of identity. Who am I? How do I relate to the world?   And that can look like lots of different things. It can include sexual identity, which can lead to a lot of conversations. But something that we like to lean into as we look at the YA genre is that in a world where everything is constantly shifting, as you have a teen and they're encountering conversations at school, conversations with peers, or using social media, having an ever-changing feed that I can look at my Instagram feed and it's going to look nothing like a teenager's Instagram feed.   Even if you're looking at the same account, the way that reels are coming, they're getting bombarded with messages. The messiest of books is static. And you both can look at that and read the cover, read what's going on, and talk about it.   And you both have the same place to have a conversation. And so, we like to lean into that when we're looking at YA books and realize they are powerful, but they're powerful conversation starters. And books like, Betsy recently read a book, and it's called Bright Red Fruit.   And it's a cautionary tale about a teenage girl who has a relationship with an older man that's predator. And he is taking advantage, trying to separate her that is an excellent conversation starter. It's not an easy book to read.   You're reading it, getting worried for this girl, but it's a great way to say, let's read this book and let's talk about what a healthy relationship looks like, because this is not healthy. So, we love YA books that can provoke conversations. And sometimes it might be you both looking at a book and going, you know, this doesn't seem helpful.   We don't need to finish this book. It's okay to stop reading a book and return it to the library.   Laura Dugger: (25:12 - 26:11) I completely agree. And even with that YA section, one of our daughters was just saying, when I go through that section of the library, it seems like every single book is about death. And it did provoke a good conversation from that.   But I think it was Sarah McKenzie who was the first person that I heard explain the difference between a middle grade novel or YA because from my understanding, middle grade isn't just for those grades. You even said younger ages can enjoy that and older. I have friends that only read middle grade novel now as adults.   So, it's not just your reading level, but YA has different rules on it where I think you said anything goes, any topic is allowed. So, it doesn't mean that YA is necessarily what you have to graduate to once you enter high school. Is that right?   Hayley Morell: (26:11 - 27:06) But yes, it's typically and the funny thing that you kind of leaned into it, some middle grade books definitely deal with coming of age or might even have a teenage protagonist, but it's written in a way that a 12 year old could read it and enjoy it. When you get into like the higher YA, it is more like young adults, people starting their own lives, having adventures, leaving home, going on quests. And like you said, bringing in some heavier topics.   Now we have seen since like in the last five years, a lot of books dealing with death and grieving that are hitting that middle grade genre too, which can be helpful. But at the same time, if you're just reading sad books, you might want to change your diet and find a fun, happy book too.   Laura Dugger: (27:07 - 27:31) Again, in a conversation like this, it has to be more general of a recommendation, but there's such a difference, I'm sure in YA for your 13-year-old versus your 18-year-old. So, for someone who does want to dip their toe into some YA books, do you have anyones that you find yourselves recommending again for that age group?   Betsy Farquhar: (27:32 - 28:42) I'll jump in here. We've got a couple of book lists on our site that are, have actual number ages attached to them. Thirteen books for 13-year-old boys is a great one for that younger teen audience.   But those tend to be, they're grappling with some coming-of-age issues, but they tend to be more adventure based in a sense and more fun. I think of the Ranger's Apprentice series by John Flanagan. There's a little bit of language.   There's a little bit of romance, but it's very teen, young teen friendly. And its actually kind of a good picture of men being heroes and women are heroes in very, like the men are men, they're very masculine. And the women, even if they're part of the army, so to speak, they're still doing it in a feminine way.   So, it's just kind of a nice sort of entry into some of those conversations. But then if you fast forward, by the time teens are in their upper teens, they should be able to read adult books too. And so, you might find yourself reading something like Peace Like a River by Leif Enger, which is very much written for an adult market, but very accessible to teens if they're willing to grapple with some of those ideas.   But that book's going to be a lot heavier than a book for a 13-year-old.   Laura Dugger: (28:44 - 29:05) That's helpful just to have examples. And I think it's also helpful to put this into context by reflecting back through time. So, just in America, what have you learned about the trends and the changes in libraries, specifically over the past 75 years?   Betsy Farquhar: (29:06 - 31:30) So, I have a library degree too, so I love talking about libraries. In library science, we have a rule, it's called Ranganathan's Law, and it simply says every book is reader, which means that for every book out there, there's a reader out there. And libraries take that very seriously.   No book is off the table for a public library. We had an entire class on serving our community. So, the goal behind a public library has always been to serve the community in which it's placed.   Now that's changed a lot as our society has changed a lot. So, before World War II, most libraries were funded very locally, local taxes, they may have even been subscription-based, but after we have all these army vets coming back after World War II, they're going back to school later. We have this explosion of information access for people who can't get it.   So, the Library Services Act was the first one. We've had lots of iterations since then. Now it includes technology.   It started with giving federal dollars to rural libraries, and it's continued even to big cities now, but the focus is still on services for people who can't access them as easily. So, free Wi-Fi was a really big one before Wi-Fi was as broad spread. There are services for the blind and for other communities that might not be able to read as easily.   So, it's still sort of an information hub, but I think that makes us uncomfortable sometimes as Christians because our society has changed so much that we go into a library now and we're like, I would never read this book to my kid. Well, but your neighbor might, and the public library is not the parent of your child. The public library is serving the whole community.   So, go ahead and request them to stock some Christian books. A lot of them will buy the Christian books that you request because they want to serve you. You're part of their community.   So, I think we just have to remember that their goal is broader. My goal as a parent is far more niche than my public librarian's goal to serve her community. She's not my enemy.   Even if she's picking things for story time that I would never read to my children, it doesn't mean I have to ignore the library. I can love that those are image bearers. I can respectfully bring up my concerns, and I can suggest books and I can build a relationship with this fellow image bearer in my community.   It can be a great mission field. So, yes, libraries are continually evolving. That's why they now offer you can even check out sports equipment.   They're still trying to provide information and resources for the community.   Hayley Morell: (31:32 - 32:01) I just recommended or requested two books that were Christian picture books that aren't in our system. And one of our librarians helped me fill out the form explaining why I wanted them. And I just got a notification yesterday. Both are on hold for me and have been added to our library. So, it's exciting. If you don't ask, you don't know if you're going to get it. I honestly was surprised. I was like, oh, they actually got the books I wanted.   Laura Dugger: (32:02 - 32:56) It is so exciting when they do that. I love our local library, and the staff is just wonderful to work with. So, that's great encouragement for us to get to know them by name and have a relationship with them.   And just to zero in on that one piece after World War II, I think that's tied to what so many people call is it the golden age of children's literature where some people will say we only read books before a certain year, like mid-1900s. But I love that you guys review even modern books because it's not that it was all better back then. But I do think there's a piece of truth in it that libraries had to be so discerning back then with less funding.   And so maybe they had the best of the best available and then funds came in and we can have a wider range.   Betsy Farquhar: (32:56 - 33:40) There's so many factors here historically because we could really nerd out, but I won't. But what's also being reflected is simply printmaking technology because the ability to print paperbacks, paperbacks as like a thing weren't a thing until the 20th century. So, books were incredibly expensive.   You've got all those factors playing in too. So, not only are they getting different funding, but there is an explosion in printmaking technology that allows publishers to produce inexpensive books. And that allows families and libraries to buy more books.   It's not dissimilar to the way we have digital media now that's got its own sort of technology behind the distribution of the digital books. So, there's a lot of factors involved in that.   Laura Dugger: (33:41 - 34:03) That is fascinating. I'm glad you brought that up. And like I said, so helpful to look back.   But now if we're also looking forward, I'd really appreciate your perspective on where we're headed. So, what's on your radar for genres or books that may require even more discernment in the future?   Hayley Morell: (34:04 - 37:18) So, right now, romanticy is having a moment and that's a genre that is getting a lot of attention. There's a lot of marketing using that language. And I think it's really helpful to realize this is a marketing term.   So, Fourth Wing became very popular. That is a book that is for adults. It has a lot of explicit sex.   But it used the term romanticy and it sold very well. And so suddenly all books that are fantasy and have some romance are being called romanticy. And that could mean a lot of different things.   So, what we're seeing is this term that if it's used in the YA genre, we don't know what it means going into a book. It might mean a lot of focus on romance and some unhelpful sex. It also could mean a really fun fantasy that happens to have a romantic angle.   So, I recently gave a starred review to A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim. That's a Chinese fairy tale, beauty and the beast type story. And it is excellent.   One of the marketing terms that used was romanticy. And it just is a wonderful fantasy story that has this thread of romance perfectly appropriate for teen readers. But that is a term that we're currently aware of.   And this is a genre that we want to notice and take with a grain of salt. It's kind of a contrast on the other side. It's differentiating between romanticy has romance and then there's cozy fantasy, which is more cottage core, comfortable feeling.   It also could have sex. So, there's, as we run into this fantasy genre, there's a lot of things going on, but it's definitely having a moment. And it's just nice to know what's going on and what cozy fantasy is going to be focused on character development, like very like a shopkeeper who inherits a cottage with a garden and grows mushrooms.   That's cozy fantasy. Romanticy is a chosen one motif who's at some dramatic school. Dark academia is also having a moment where it's a lot of angst, a lot of little bit of horror.   And some of it can be done really well because it's popular. There's a lot of it out there. And so, some discernment is required as you're figuring out, is this a book for adults or is this a book for teens?   I think I would be cautious with books that are being marketed for adults as romanticy because you could run into some things that are meant for an adult audience and might not be helpful for that teenage reader of yours.   Betsy Farquhar: (37:18 - 38:06) The only other thing I'll add, and this is sort of a different approach, but we're seeing a lot of genre blending. It's getting harder to say this is a mystery or this is a fantasy, even this is a historical fiction story. So, I think genre fiction in general is kind of having a moment.   And when we say genre fiction, we really mean things like mystery, science fiction, romanticy, these sort of sub genres that are underneath the broader terms of realistic fiction or speculative fiction is an umbrella term that includes fantasy, dystopia, science fiction, magical realism, all the little niche downstream sort of sub genres. But we're seeing some really interesting things. It's going to be harder to automatically decide I like that genre, or I don't because they're just mixing and matching elements from all over the place.   Laura Dugger: (38:08 - 39:15) Mm-hmm. That is helpful. I had never heard of some of those things that you just mentioned, but also I'd love for you to respond after I shared this story.   I had a previous guest, Megan Cabe, who used to run a blog. It was called Young Book Love and she would review, I think, middle grade novels, maybe a little bit of YA, but she would say most topics are beneficial to read, even if they're difficult, what you all refer to as messy books. But she did provide extra caution and just said she strongly advised against explicit sexual content because those mental images have a way of sticking with us.   And I agree with her. I would also add sometimes what's not appropriate for our children is not appropriate for us either. And just a funny way to remember this, I had a loved one recently who just said, “You can't sugarcoat a turd. I'd love your take on all of that.”   Hayley Morell: (39:17 - 41:54) So, we like to use the term beyond ever after when we're dealing with this idea of what romance is helpful, what is not helpful. And like you said, the age of the reader comes into play because something that might be a good conversation point with your teen, let's say dealing with a first kiss, that is something that is good to be thinking about and be talking about having healthy conversations about what is God's design for sexuality. And as you are starting to notice the opposite sex and have feelings, what do we do with those?   And again and again, it's been shown that it is helpful to have these conversations because if we're not having a conversation about what is God's view and what does God want us to do with this, our young people are going to turn to the world, which is very happy to give them a lot of talk about sexuality, but some very different perspectives and answers that are focused on yourself, let's you do you versus no, what has God given us and how are we going to steward this?   So, one of the things that I like to, that we like to be aware of as we're reviewing at Redeemed Reader is, is this a 12-year-old reading this book? And if a 12-year-old is reading a book and in the book, a 12-year-old is having a crush and it's kissing, we don't want our 12-year-olds kissing. That's not that helpful yet.   I mean, that's, that's quite young and yes, in some cultures you might, but not yet. However, if this is a book about an 18-year-old on a high school trip, like Becky Dean has some really fun YA romances that are appropriate for teens, then dealing with what is it like dating? What is it like dealing with these emotions and chemistry that can be really well done for an 18-year-old?   But like you said, we want to be aware of our imaginations. We want to be aware of what we're able to handle. And for someone, maybe reading those romances is fun and helpful.   For another, it might be unhelpful. And I think that comes down to as a reader growing discernment and knowing what you are able to read that will still be edifying.   Betsy Farquhar: (41:56 - 42:55) I'm going to piggyback a little bit. I, I agree that there, we look to scripture for what the standards are, and the Bible is not describing sexual activity in sordid detail. So, it's probably a good idea for us not to be wallowing in the same sorts of things.   And I think the same thing is true for language. In fact, it's easier to ignore profanity in a book you're reading versus listening to it. I mean, if we immerse ourselves in audio books that have, that are littered with profanity, it's going to stick in our head differently than if we're just reading it on the page.   And I think sexual activity; there are some similar dynamics at play. Obviously, a visual scene is going to be probably stick with us even more than a written scene. But either way, you know, that's part of discernment is what is my imagination doing with this?   And the overall picture of my reading diet. Is this all I'm reading? Is this what my thoughts are going towards?   Are they pointing me back to Christ? Are they promoting some helpful conversation? Or is it just sort of my guilty pleasure? Well, that should be maybe a sign.   Laura Dugger: (43:21 - 43:45) Some love stories are described as squeaky clean. But when it comes to the world of Christian romance, what are some helpful questions that we can be asking our tween or teen? And what are some healthy considerations for filtering books that we're going to allow to be consumed in our home?   Hayley Morell: (43:47 - 47:15) So, it's interesting. I think each genre of romance can have its own pitfalls. And I know I really appreciate the authors who are writing clean, squeaky-clean stories.   And as I've read them and consumed them, one of the things I've noticed is that it is clean. There's no question of something being clean. But at the same time, if the only thing we're reading, going back to having a balanced book diet, is a squeaky-clean story, I don't think that's helpful because it doesn't show an accurate view of the world.   And we want to be preparing our tweens and teens for a world where, yes, there is a happily ever after. Yes, we have the fairy tale wedding, or we have an imagination that is sparked by boy meets girl. But then what happens next?   And we live in a fallen world. And so, we have to work on relationships. We have to work on communicating.   And sometimes squeaky clean can lean so far into being safe that it doesn't actually show what it is like to have a relationship with the opposite sex. I think of one story I read and it's very superficial, playful. Snarky is often something I've noticed in the squeaky clean because we don't, we have to have some form of banter.   And so, it's perpetual sarcasm and no physical touch. But then suddenly our protagonists marry and now they're still being snarky and not touching. And as an adult, I look at that and go, that is not an accurate portrayal of what it looks like to have a romance and to have marriage.   And so, we love to ask, what are the relationships like in this book? And if that's in a middle grade novel, one of the things we love seeing is are they showing a healthy family? Are they showing parents that like being together?   Because that's at a middle grade level is you're sparking that imagination. What is our protagonist seeing as the adults around them are having relationships? Do the adults like to be together?   I just was reading a really sweet, Betsy, I think you read it. But Will's Race for Home is a story about this boy and westward expansion. And so, it's when the Oklahoma, Oklahoma land rush opens up.   And there's the sweetest time where he talks about how he knows his father loves his mother because his father will look at his mother and she will blush. And it's the sweetest age-appropriate picture of what romance looks like when you're a 12-year-old looking at your parents. And I think that type of thing can be a really healthy way of having these conversations versus having a diet that is just squeaky clean and yet might actually be showing an inaccurate portrayal of what it's like to have relationships in a fallen world.   Laura Dugger: (47:16 - 47:30) Well, let's get specific on another type of book as well. How do you advise parents to think critically on what age is appropriate to consume what you mentioned earlier, the Hunger Games or a book like that?   Betsy Farquhar: (47:31 - 49:44) Ooh, pick me. I love these kind of books. I'll read anything.   And I tend to get tasked with books that are difficult sometimes. Although many of us on our team read them and we do talk about these behind the scenes. So, when you're thinking about the age your child is and when they're ready for any book, but especially a popular one, I think part of that is our job as parents is always to be watching our children, to be students of our children.   How are they consuming media in general? What kind of video games? What kind of movies?   Are they on social media? What is their media diet like? And how are they handling that?   And if they're showing discernment in general, and they're kind of grappling with issues and ideas, then they're going to be ready for a book like the Hunger Games sooner than a child who's just blindly taking it all in. There's no magic age where you say, ooh, you're 12, you can read the Hunger Games. A lot depends on what that child's already displayed.   And I think dystopia are the books where there's some apocalyptic future and there's usually an autocratic governor or government system or it's futuresque. But they're really great books about bringing up big questions about how society works and the nature of authority and even the nature of anarchy. And they're just such great discussion starters.   But if your child isn't able to have those kinds of conversations yet, they're going to miss the forest for the trees and it's going to be all shock value. But I'm going to add a big caveat. If it's really popular and you think your child is maybe ready, maybe not quite, I would probably go ahead and read it with him or her if all of the peers are reading it.   Because I would rather my child have that conversation with me than with their friend. Or at least have it with me first before they read it with their friends. Even if we skip parts, maybe it's a book that you feel like we can't read chapter 12 for whatever reason.   Be honest with your child and say, you know what? This book has a scene I'm really uncomfortable with. Maybe give a brief summary.   We're going to keep going. But engage with your children over what is popular. I think that is the number one takeaway because they're going to find answers somewhere.   We want it to be from us.   Laura Dugger: (49:46 - 50:52) That is good. And that's why I appreciate the redeemed reader because you're putting in all this work for us because we can't pre-read everything. But when we're faced with a situation like that, it is helpful that we can choose to read some with them.   And another angle, I just love a few of your quotes in the book. First, on page 76, you write, If Genesis were made into a true-to-the-book movie, the Redeemed Reader team would not allow our children to watch it. We might abstain as well.   And then you go on for page 111 and you say, the best tool we can give our growing readers is God's word. The more they know and understand the Bible, the better equipped they will be to think discerningly, to recognize error, and to know how the Bible handles the same issues. So, will you just elaborate on this wisdom and advise us on how and why to encourage our children to read the Bible, even though it is messy?   Betsy Farquhar: (50:53 - 52:58) Well, it is a messy book, but thankfully, it's not only a messy book. I mean, if it were a movie, we have nudity very quickly. Then we have rebellion against God, and then we have murder.   And before you know it, six chapters in, the world is so bad that God is sending a flood to destroy it. So, it must have been really bad. But the Bible isn't giving us all those details.   And I think that is a big piece of the picture when it comes to discernment in literature. The Bible is not shy about telling us that people sinned. I mean, our heroes, David, infidelity, murder, you know, most of the famous people in the Bible did something egregiously wrong and sinful.   And yet the whole story of the Bible is God redeeming his people. We're all sinners. And there is hope because of Christ.   None of us can make it without Christ. And so, in the Bible, you're seeing both the mess and the hope. You're seeing God's answer to this problem.   And so, as we read scripture with our kids, one of the things that is helpful is we know what sin is. It's rebellion against God. It includes everything from sexual activity outside of marriage to gossip and pride and sort of the easy sins, right?   They're all sin. So, I think that's one thing that comes across when we're studying God's word. We also see Christ.   And when we then turn to a book, just a regular fiction book or even a nonfiction book, is the book also labeling sin as sin or at least a mistake? Or is it glorifying it? How is it handling it compared to how we know scripture handles it?   Is there any hope in the book? And where is that hope found? Are they just praying to the universe?   We're seeing universe capitalized all over the place now as sort of this amorphous deity. Well, that's not hopeful. I don't want to pray to Jupiter.   You know, we have a God who cares about us. And so just getting your kids to sort of reckon with the differences between how a book is portraying hope and judgment versus how scripture portrays it, that's going to take them a long way.   Laura Dugger: (53:01 - 53:23) That's fantastic. And your book lists at the end of each chapter are reason enough to purchase the book. But I'm sure that you've encountered additional titles since your publication date that you also enjoy.   So, will you share a handful of book recommendations, maybe some from each of those sweet spots again from your team?   Hayley Morell: (53:24 - 54:03) For young adults, we've actually mentioned both of the ones that I would add. They both have received starred reviews. A Forgery of Fate by Elizabeth Lim.   Excellent fantasy for young adults. And then Bright Red Fruit by Sophia O'Heo. And that one is a discussion starter.   It is a messy book, but it's an excellent book for its audience. Those would be two young adult fantasies. We see a lot of young adult fantasies.   So, but I would have loved to include those in the book. We just read them later.   Betsy Farquhar: (54:03 - 55:03) So, quick correction, Bright Red Fruit's not a fantasy, but it is it is. Oh, I apologize. That's fine.   It's a discussion starter. And that usually means that there's something in there you need to know about before you read it. As a parent, I would recommend doing your homework on that book.   It's a really good book to read with your daughters, but you might want to pre-read it first. Middle grade, that's our biggest bucket. Because it's the most it's got the widest audience reach and it's just so fun.   So, some of the ones that we've really liked, The Teacher of Nomadland by Daniel Nayeri. He is a Christian author. He won the National Book Award for this book for young people's literature and a Newbery Honor.   It's fantastic. It's a story about World War II. Benny on the Case by Wesley King is a really lovely mystery that features the protagonist has mosaic down syndrome, and it's just not very common to read books with different disabilities represented.   So, that's just a really sweet story. Lots of fun.   Hayley Morell: (55:04 - 55:05) It's a great audio book too.   Betsy Farquhar: (55:06 - 56:40) Yes. Song of the Stone Tiger, another Christian author, Glenn McCarty. It's a kind of a mix of realistic fiction and fantasy.   So, it's fun. A new one that we like. And then I'll leave you with one more.   I actually have it right here. So, for those who are watching this, they can see it. It's called Radiant by Vonda Michaud-Nelson.   And it's a novel in verse, but a beautiful picture of what it means to love your neighbor. So, The Sword by Marty Murkowski from New Growth Press. It's kind of a family devotional resource.   It was the World Magazine Book of the Year. We gave it a starred review as well. The Amazing Generation is a book for kids by the same author as The Anxious Generation.   So, that book is like a super bestseller for adults. This is kind of taking that idea and helping kids know how not to be the anxious generation, right? How they can be the amazing generation.   The World Entire is a nonfiction, maybe technically a picture book, but it's really long. And it's for this audience. And it's a true story about World War II, about a rescue.   I think it was set in Portugal. And then a graphic novel that's nonfiction. I'm trying to cover all your different genres here.   This is How to Say Goodbye in Cuban by Daniel Meadez. It's about his father and how he emigrated or escaped from Cuba. But it's a graphic novel.   So, there's a lot of visual interest. So, that's a really interesting background for kids who are hearing a lot of headlines about places like Cuba. And they're like, what's really going on?   A book like that can help them understand just some of the nuance behind the headlines.   Hayley Morell: (56:41 - 58:51) One of the things about middle grades as we talk about books is that middle grade is the age where readers are just exploding. And while you might have been able to keep up with your reader, then they hit 10 or 12 years old, and you give them a stack of books and they're reading them and asking for more. So, we definitely have a lot of middle grade reviews.   Picture books, though, are another place that we just love. And there's been some recent ones that we looked at and got, oh, this would be so good for the book. Something like Tuesday's Bear by Alexander Davis.   It's this beautiful story based on a true historical event. Unclaimed luggage is where, you know, if a suitcase gets lost, what happens to the contents? Well, one family had an idea, and Alexandra tells it through the story of this little bear who gets lost and then is found.   It's the most beautiful story. As a Christian, you can see a lot of very true themes running through it. And it's a delight to read aloud.   Wild Honey from the Moon by Kenneth Craigel. It's a story about a mother shrew whose little boy is sick, and she is going to do anything, even if it means traveling all the way to the moon to get some wild honey. It's a very imaginative story.   Beautiful pictures. A couple sneak peek that are going to just, these reviews are just going up. Iguanodon's Horn by Sean Rubin.   We've loved Bolivar, it was a graphic novel he did about a dinosaur. You can tell he likes dinosaurs. This is an amazing nonfiction picture book.   And for our Christian readers, this is a book about dinosaurs that doesn't have evolution. And I think you're going to love it. One more. His Grace is Enough. This is like Dr. Zeus type rhyming. Melissa Kruger wrote it.   It's a Christian book and it's a wonderful reminder for children. When you are dealing with sin, God's grace is enough. And I think you'll find if you read this, you'll be repeating the stanzas to yourself and encouraged as you read.   Laura Dugger: (58:54 - 59:41) I love having book lists. And if any other listeners are like me, we'll finish this episode and go ahead and put a bunch of books on hold at the library, which is always so convenient. And I'm sure a lot of people aren't able to take notes right now.   Maybe they're driving or working out as they're listening to this. But I love that every episode on The Savvy Sauce now has a transcript available. So, if anybody wants these book lists, you can go to the show notes page, either on our website or click on your podcast app and the transcript is available there.   So, thank you for all those wonderful recommendations. And do you have any other helpful tips to give us as parents if we're trying to navigate this well?   Betsy Farquhar: (59:42 - 1:00:26) Yes, start at birth and start not just reading with your kids, but asking them questions. They don't, it doesn't have to be a lengthy discussion. Is Piglet a good friend to poo?   You know, if you're reading Winnie the Pooh or if you're an Elephant and Piggy fan, like my kids were. Do you think Gerald should share his ice cream with Piggy? You can just pause in the middle of the story and just get them thinking, right?   So then when you get to the Hunger Games, you can say, what did you think of the ending? Would you have liked it to end differently? Those are great open-ended questions that get people talking and engaging and that you're often running.   If you can just think, I need to engage with my kids over what we're reading, then almost any book can be a discussion starter.   Laura Dugger: (1:00:27 - 1:00:33) Well, where can we go after this conversation to find more of your book recommendations?   Betsy Farquhar: (1:00:35 - 1:01:29) I'll do this one. Redeemedreader, alloneword.com is our website. And then we're super creative.   Our Facebook is exactly the same. Redeemedreader, alloneword. Our Instagram is redeemed underscore reader.   That's kind of a long story. But if you Google Redeemed Reader, you'll find us. And then the best way, oh yes, of course our book, which is also called The Redeemed Reader.   We're so original. But the best way to experience Redeemed Reader, other than the book, is through our weekly newsletter, which Haley curates and she does a fantastic job. But there's where you'll get the latest reviews.   We put in links for other places around the web that you might find interesting, different bookish news. Haley does a really fun book trivia with picture books. So, we like to think that it's going to make your inbox a happy place.   It's not a marketing email.   Laura Dugger: (1:01:30 - 1:01:50) I love that. We will provide links to all of that in the show notes for today's episode. And you two are already familiar.   We are called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you today, what is your savvy sauce?   Betsy Farquhar: (1:01:52 - 1:03:03) So, as a business owner and a mom and a wife, it's probably not a surprise that I love my planner, but I've been through a lot of planners in my day, and I have very specific requirements. It needs to be bound, not coil bound. There's a certain size.   I mean, I have issues. I should say I have high standards for my planner. The single best feature in my current planner is that it forces me to break down my to do list between my life to do and my work to do.   And that was a game changer for me because I am wearing a lot of hats as most women are these days. And so, I limit myself to the number of bullet points that I'm given in the planner so that my work doesn't overtake my family life. It tends to be that way, sadly, more than the other way around.   Usually, my family life is not overtaking the work life, but it just it just gives me a chance to articulate each week. You know, I've got a birthday coming up that I need to plan for or I need to make sure my I mean, I graduated my youngest last year from high school, but the senior year in high school has a lot of deadlines. And so, it just helped me prioritize those milestones for my family and not let work get in the way.   Love that.   Laura Dugger: (1:03:03 - 1:03:04) What's the name of your planner?   Betsy Farquhar: (1:03:04 - 1:03:17) It's called the commit 30. I know there are other planners that do the same sort of thing, but I love having a weekly spread and I just love breaking it out between life to do and work to do.   Laura Dugger: (1:03:18 - 1:03:20) Absolutely. That sounds amazing. I love it.   Hayley Morell: (1:03:21 - 1:05:10) And my savvy sauce, I was going to say, Betsy is the planner and Betsy, I know you wouldn't appreciate this is spiral bound. So, I echo having a planner is a great way for me to just sort through all my thoughts, put them down and organize what needs to get done. But my savvy sauce is related to tech habits.   And as we were getting ready for our first, my husband and I were talking about how could we be mindful with our phone usage? And I have to thank Betsy for recommending Andy Crouch's, The Tech-Wise Family. Love that book.   And one of the things that we decided to do was to create a charging station downstairs in our house. And when I am not working where I need my phone for authentication or sending a voice message or being on the phone, if I'm not actively working, my phone lives on its charger. And that's been a struggle for me.   I have to admit the moment I had a child, anxiety kicked in. And for the first month, the phone was on me because that's what I needed to have a little security blanket. But I've been learning to leave my phone behind.   And then I'm not tempted to pick it up and scroll. And I feel like a child again because I get to the middle of the afternoon. And since I haven't been distracting myself, I've been getting things done. And all of a sudden I'm like; it's two o'clock and it's not dinner time yet. I have all of this time because I've created some more time by using the phone as a tool. But not having it right present and honestly, just distracting myself with it.   Laura Dugger: (1:05:12 - 1:05:48) That is a good, savvy tip. I love both of those. And you two have such warm and engaging personalities.   And I love those benefits that you were talking about for people who are readers. I experienced all of that through both of you today. And you're so wise and discerning yourselves.   And I am just beyond grateful that the Lord gifted you with your intellect, but also this passion for reviewing these resources. You're benefiting so many parents and children alike.   So, thank you for the work that you do. And thank you for being my guests.   Betsy Farquhar: (1:05:49 - 1:05:57) Thank you for having us. It is all from the Lord. Anything we have that's wise and worth taking away.   The credit should go to him, of course.   Hayley Morell: (1:05:58 - 1:06:00) Ame

Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Is My Teen Lazy, Depressed, or Stuck? - Weekend Wisdom

Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2026 19:08 Transcription Available


Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: Should I tell my nephew that by the time he turns 18, he has to be in school and passing his classes, or have a job, to continue living with us? He will turn 18 at the end of this school year and will inherit a small amount of money that could get him started. He is currently in school, and he doesn't have a job or any interest in getting one. Anytime someone asks him about his goals or future plans, his answer is “I don't know” or “I don't care.” I know that he is depressed and apprehensive about growing up, so part of me worries about pushing him too hard, but on the other hand, without a push, I worry his situation will continue to deteriorate. Resources:Prenatal Exposure, Part 2: Parenting Tweens and TeensPractical Ways to Connect with Your Tween or TeenSupporting Kids with Prenatal Exposure in the Transition to Adolescence and BeyondRaising Resilient KidsRaising Kids for a Lifelong Parent/Child BondSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review.  This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family building

Art Ladders: The Creative Climb
Episode 86: Navigating Uncertainty as an Artist with Dr. Yanina Gomez

Art Ladders: The Creative Climb

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 19, 2024 52:58


Join us on this timely release of Episode 86 with Dr. Yanina Gomez, psychologist, author, educator, and speaker. She will be discussing the issue of navigating these uncertain times as artists. Her proactive approach is both enlightening and energizing. Dr. Yanina talks about the importance of cultivating a catalyst mindset instead of a victim mindset. As a catalyst of change, artists can think about issues they can control. For example artists can bring awareness, beauty, healing to a troubled world. Creatives play such an important role in shaping the human condition. That is why surrounding yourself with encouraging and supportive people is necessary to uplift each other and your community. Dr. Yanina Gomez earned her Phd in Psychology in 2009. She is a member of the American Psychological Association and has been trained in the Internal Family Systems Therapeutic Model. She is the author of Moms Don't Quit! How to Influence, Empower and Stay Connected with Your Tween or Teen in a Noisy World and lead author of Crush Self-Sabotage and Live Fully! The Artist's Wellness Journey to Confidence and Success. She is the co-founder of ArtNXTLevel with her artist, Sergio Gomez. Their mission is to act as a catalyst for transforming artistic aspirations into tangible results. At ArtNXTlevel®, professional growth, self-confidence, and career success are not just goals—they are actionable steps revealed in a global online community of artists. Show Notes: Dr. Yanina Gomez The ArtNXTLevel online community 33 Contemporary Gallery Artist Sergio Gomez ArtNXTLevel Instagram Link to our podcast episode with Sergio Gomez in 2022 Registration for Free Golden Artist Colors' "Just Paint Experience" . A collaborative event with Art Ladders and Golden Apple Residencies. December 1, 2024 starting at 2pm.

Growing Up with Dr Sarah
Ep. 132 - Smoothly Transition from Summer Fun to School Success with These Tips

Growing Up with Dr Sarah

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2024 49:56


As the summer is coming to an end and school is starting again, many families find themselves navigating a mix of excitement and uncertainty. Tweens and parents experience a challenging transition from the freedom of summer to the structure and demands of the academic year. JoAnn Schauf, the insightful founder of Your Tween and You, and the celebrated author of the Amazon best-selling book, Loving the Alien: How to Parent Your Tween, provides parents with actionable strategies to support their children through these pivotal years. To learn more you can reach out to JoAnn: YourTweenandYou.com  

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam
Prepping Your Tween for a Successful School Year with JoAnn Schauf

Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2024 38:11 Transcription Available


As the new school year approaches, prepping your tween for success is more important than ever. Today, we're diving into some of the biggest challenges parents face: balancing academic pressures, navigating social dynamics, and setting up accountability for their academic success.   Our special guest, JoAnn Schauf, is here to provide her expert insights. JoAnn, often called the parent whisperer, recently published her book Loving the Alien: How to Parent Your Tween. She founded Your Tween and You to support, empower, and inspire parents through these challenging years. JoAnn shares valuable tips and actionable advice to ensure your tween has their best school year yet!   Key Takeaways ➡️ Collaboration and open communication between parents and tweens/teens is crucial for success. ➡️ Allowing tweens/teens to have a voice in setting goals and expectations promotes intrinsic motivation. ➡️ Focusing on a child's strengths and interests is more important than solely focusing on grades. ➡️ Parents should foster ownership and problem-solving skills in their tweens/teens. ➡️ Parents should avoid excessive monitoring and instead focus on building trust and independence.   Meet JoAnn Schauf  JoAnn Schauf is thrilled to be our guest today and equally thrilled that her book, Loving the Alien, How to Parent Your Tween, was just published! Because adolescence is challenging for parents and their children, she founded Your Tween and You to support, empower, and inspire parents.  As she speaks, coaches, and writes in her blog, The Tween Times, JoAnn delivers unique parenting tools, skills, and strategies so parents and their tweens can thrive together.  She holds a Master's Degree in counseling and is called the parent whisper.   Connect with JoAnn Website | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | LinkedIn   Connect with Dr. Cam Website | Instagram | TikTok | YouTube   Resources Mentioned in This Episode FREE QUIZ: Are You on the RIGHT Track With Your Teen? 20% discount for new coaching clients through September 15, 2024 at YourTweenandYou.com     Thanks for Listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others would appreciate the guidance and encouragement, please take a quick moment to rate and review. Reviews from my listeners are extremely valuable and greatly appreciated. Review on iTunes.   Subscribe to the Podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, YouTube, Google, Spotify. You can also subscribe from the podcast app on your mobile device.   ABOUT THE SHOW: The 'Parenting Teens with Dr. Cam' Podcast: Your Guide to Navigating Adolescence Without the Drama. Hosted by Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, an adolescent psychologist specializing in empowering parents and nurturing teen development. In each episode, she partners with a guest expert to deliver invaluable insights and practical advice for building a closer relationship with your teen & finding joy amidst the challenges Whether you're an experienced parent looking to enhance your teenager's mental well-being and strengthen your connection, or a newcomer to the world of adolescence, this podcast is a must-listen.    #ParentingTeens #Podcast #teenagers #parentingpodcast #TeenMentalHealth   #MentalHealthAwareness #drcamcaswell #theteentranslator #backtoschool

Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens
#277 What's Unique About Tweena?

Power Your Parenting: Moms With Teens

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 8, 2024 42:11


Are you navigating the tumultuous tween years with your child and wondering what makes this stage so unique? Do you find yourself caught off guard by sudden emotional outbursts and unexpected behavior changes in your 9-14 year old? My guest today is an expert on tweens. Joann Schauf is the founder of Your Tween and You, an author and a seasoned speaker who specializes in parenting and adolescent coaching. She authors the blog, The Tween Times, and actively engages with parents through workshops and conferences. She holds a Master of Science in Counseling. Joann Schauf discusses the crucial process of identity formation in tweens, emphasizing that this period is marked by significant changes in their sense of self. Tweens experience a variety of emotions and face confusion as they navigate their developing identities. They might express doubt, confidence, and fluctuating interests in rapid succession, all while questioning their beliefs and experimenting with different roles. Schauf highlights the importance of mothers shifting their parenting approach to be more collaborative and supportive, rather than authoritative. Moms should engage in open conversations, allow their tweens to express themselves, and offer guidance without judgment. By doing so, they provide a safe environment for tweens to explore and understand who they are becoming, fostering both independence and a strong parent-child connection. To find more about Joann and her book, "Loving the Alien" go to https://www.yourtweenandyou.com/ Follow on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/yourtweenandyou/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Teenagers Untangled - Parenting tips in an audio hug.
Preparing yourself and your tween or teen for their new school year.

Teenagers Untangled - Parenting tips in an audio hug.

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2024 32:29 Transcription Available


Send us a Text Message.94: The holidays are a great time to begin preparing our kids for the next year, but there's so much we could be doing it's hard to know where to start. I've turned to and someone who specialises in helping parents with tweens to give us some great, actionable tips.JoAnn Schauf, who founded Your Tween and You, and is the author of Loving the Alien: How to Parent Your Tween, emphasizes the importance of focusing on fostering autonomy and confidence in children.In this episode we talked about:Goal-setting and allowing them to use their voice to set their goals.The way our role changes and being clear about the new relationship.The confusing changes that happen in our tween's brain.The benefit of an accountability partner.Using an accomplishment journal.Noticing when the good things they do.Focusing only on effort.Allowing our kids to set their own goals.Discussing homework building blocks.Discussing screen time and empowering them to manage it.CONTACT JOANN SHAUF:https://www.yourtweenandyou.com/Support the Show.Thanks for listening. Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Rachel's email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com The website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

Breakfast Leadership
Tuesday Tips: Parenting Tweens with JoAnn Schauf

Breakfast Leadership

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 11, 2024 22:22


JoAnn Schauf founded Your Tween and You, writes her blog, The Tween Times, coaches parents and adolescents, and speaks at conferences and to parent groups. After earning her Master of Science in Counseling, she worked as a therapist in a psychiatric hospital and served as a counselor in secondary schools and colleges.  Her interactions with parents of tweens, who were confounded by their children's burgeoning adolescence and the influence of technology, led her to write her best-selling book Loving the Alien, How to Parent Your Tween. As the parent of four, she experienced the same challenges and frustrations! JoAnn lives in Austin, Texas and spends her free time volunteering and on the beach in California. You can reach her at yourtweenandyou.com   Summary Introductions and background @ 0:00 JoAnn Schauf shares her background, starting as a fashion major but then transitioning to psychology and counseling. She opened her own business, Your Tween and You, about 6 years ago to help parents navigate the challenges of raising tweens. The challenges of parenting tweens @ 2:04 JoAnn discusses the common challenges parents face when their children transition from happy, compliant kids to more distant, independent tweens. She explains the "trio of trials" tweens face - puberty, identity search, and underdeveloped decision-making skills - that contribute to this challenging phase. Importance of parent-child connection @ 6:00 Michael and JoAnn emphasize the importance of parents staying present and connected with their tweens, even when the kids seem disinterested. Sharing stories, asking open-ended questions, and spending quality time together can help maintain the relationship. Strategies for effective communication @ 23:54 JoAnn provides specific tips for how parents can improve communication with their tweens, such as asking open-ended questions to get the full story rather than yes/no questions that shut down conversation. Resources and next steps @ 25:06 JoAnn shares information about her website, blog, and coaching services to help parents of tweens. She and Michael conclude by discussing the importance of raising happy, healthy children who will become future leaders.

Northeast Ohio Parent presents aParently Speaking
Podcast 93: How to Connect with Your Tween

Northeast Ohio Parent presents aParently Speaking

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 3, 2023 46:51


On the latest episode of aParently Speaking, host Miriam Conner is joined by Amanda Craig, Ph.D. LMFT to discuss connecting with your tween and her book, "Who Are You and What Have you Done with My Kid? Connect With Your Tween While They are Still Listening." The post Podcast 93: How to Connect with Your Tween appeared first on Northeast Ohio Parent.

lmft who are you tween my kid amanda craig your tween miriam conner
The Cycle Breaker Podcast
Gentle Parenting Objections: Part 3. Can Gentle Parenting Work for Older Children?

The Cycle Breaker Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 23, 2022 25:22


Hi, Cycle Breakers! Our Gentle Parenting Objections series continues today with a focus on older children (tweens and teens). Many parents with kids in this age group often wonder if it's too late to start gentle parenting with them or if it's even effective at those ages. Spoiler: it's never too late and it'll absolutely still make a positive impact on your parent/child relationship! If you have, or work closely with, tweens and teens, it's worthwhile for you to tune in! In other great news, our tween/teen Parenting Coach and Pediatric Psychologist, Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart is live-hosting a FREE masterclass on Zoom, End the Struggle with Your Tween or Teen on Friday, August 26th, 2022, at 7pm EST / 4pm Pacific. Be sure to register, by clicking the link below, so that you get the roadmap to saving the relationship with your adolescent. Also, if you'd like to get a copy of HIC's The Considerate Conversation Formula E-book, which provides a proven communication flow to help you peacefully guide your children from “chaos” to “calm” in 5 simple steps, you can do so by clicking on the link below. As a reminder, anyone who owns an HIC product of any kind is welcome to join our private Facebook community, HIC Cycle Breakers. If you'd like to help spread our message, please leave us a review and share the podcast with a friend. Be sure to follow so you don't miss any new content! Master Class: End the struggle with your tween or teen The Considerate Conversation Formula E-book HIC Cycle Breakers private Facebook group

Time Out with Tinseltown Mom
Ep. 41: Addressing Obesity with Your Tween or Teen in a Loving Way – Dr. D-Nice Offers Advice

Time Out with Tinseltown Mom

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 14, 2021 32:00


On episode #41 of Time Out with Tinseltown Mom I speak with Dr. Denise Hunter, also known as Dr. D-Nice. Dr. D-Nice has been a medical doctor for over 20 years and is an Adolescent Wellness Specialist. She also has over 30 years of experience as a youth leader and is a trained youth motivational speaker. Today, Dr. D-Nice is going to talk about how to address obesity with your tween or teen in a loving and healthy way. For more on Dr. D-Nice visit her at www.wisdomteethinger.com or follow her on Instagram. Follow Tinseltown Mom! TinseltownMom Blog Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest LinkedIn The post Ep. 41: Addressing Obesity with Your Tween or Teen in a Loving Way – Dr. D-Nice Offers Advice appeared first on Tinseltown Mom.

Moms of Tweens and Teens
How to Encourage Your Daughter To Become Fearless, Bold and More of Who She Was Created To Be with Amy Debrucque

Moms of Tweens and Teens

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2021 50:24


I have exciting news! You're invited to our 3-Day Free Day Training and this time around it's all about Getting A Grip On Your Tween and Teen's Technology. Because we know how much everybody needs this!​It is time to hit the reset button!So here's the scoop…On June 2nd at 12-1 pm Central we are kicking off our FREE 3-day new Getting A Grip on Your Tween and Teen's Technology Training and you're invited. Go to momsoftweensandteens.com/freetraining and get signed up now.Today I'm interviewing Amy Debrucque, who has a powerful personal story of loss and grief and as a result, struggled for 15 years with debilitating anxiety only to receive a cancer diagnosis that led her to her healing. We talk about a lot of powerful things in this interview - anxiety, shame, raising daughters in today's culture, and her new book that she wrote with her daughter Blair, called Embolden - an inspirational journal that promotes confidence, reflection, and living a bold and empowered life.About Amy:Her book Embolden a perfect gift for a graduate or woman struggling with insecurities in today's world?  An inspirational journal that promotes self-esteem, reflection, and resources is just what every young adult woman needs! Grab a copy for yourself and a friend!Amy's websiteInstagramFacebookAmy Debrucque is an author, blogger, podcaster,  and entrepreneur and cancer survivor. She is the host of Life On Purpose where she encourages women to live on purpose instead of fear. In addition to her weekly resources, she created The Confidence Course to show others how to make necessary changes in life by being brave in their next steps and to let them know that everything they are searching for is on the other side of fear. 

Livin Lively with Laine
How Do We Talk to Our Kids About God? with Janelle Alberts and Ingrid Faro

Livin Lively with Laine

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2021 31:47


Janelle Alberts and Ingrid Faro authors of Honest Answers: Exploring God Questions with Your Tween share with us on how to have conversations with our children about God, the Bible, Prayer, and the Church. Honest Answers is designed to help parents tackle the God questions that make them sweat. The authors know that when tweens start asking questions, they're already old enough to understand the answers. Alberts and Faro are determined to equip parents with the language, theology, permission, and confidence to join in the discussion—and to learn how to offer deeply doctrinal answers in a way that connects with their children. Honest Answers is divided into four parts, each with three chapters, addressing some of the biggest faith questions that come up: 1. The Bible: How it was put together, how history supports it, and the points of view of the writers. 2. Prayer: How to pray, when we don't get the answers we are wanting, and sticking with God regardless. 3. Faith and science: Why the two sides don't always agree, and how to handle situations that come up in school when what kids learn there doesn't line up with what they learn at church. 4. The church: How it is set up, why there are different denominations, and its past, present, and future. Each chapter begins with a “parent's primer” on a specific topic that tweens often ask questions about. The primer introduces the topic and provides further background information to share in later conversations with the kids. Next, an “honest answers Q&A” section is the part of the chapter to be read as a family. Each Q&A section begins with a brief introduction followed by six to eight multiple-choice questions to explore together. “Our kids want and deserve discussion about God and the Bible and don't accept simply being told what to think or believe,” Faro shares. “We can enter conversations providing solid and substantive responses to tough questions without jargon, fluff, or pat answers and don't need to be afraid of questions our kids may have.” “As parents, we want to feel confident enough to say to our kids, ‘Let's talk about that,' right at their point of interest,” Alberts adds. “However, that is not an easy thing to do. These core tenets of our faith have been debated over centuries and have involved councils, creeds, Bible translations, extraordinary feats of faith, and also terrible behavior. But we're the parents. These kids want to know what there is to know from us. If our kids see a pattern that when they come to us, they get honest, forthright discussion even if we do not know every answer, that will keep them coming to us as a resource as they mature in their faith.” The tween years present an incredible opportunity to build trust with kids and to keep them coming back to their parents for answers rather than finding other sources.  https://www.lainelawsoncraft.com Facebook Laine Lawson Craft Instagram @lainelawsoncraft Twitter @lainelawsoncrft

Enjoy Today Own Tomorrow
How Do We Talk to Our Kids About God? with Janelle Alberts and Ingrid Faro

Enjoy Today Own Tomorrow

Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2021 31:48


Janelle Alberts and Ingrid Faro authors of Honest Answers: Exploring God Questions with Your Tween share with us on how to have conversations with our children about God, the Bible, Prayer, and the Church. Honest Answers is designed to help parents tackle the God questions that make them sweat. The authors know that when tweens start asking questions, they're already old enough to understandthe answers. Alberts and Faro are determined to equip parents with the language, theology, permission, and confidence to joinin the discussion—and to learn how to offer deeply doctrinal answers in a way that connects with their children. Honest Answers is divided into four parts, each with three chapters, addressing some of the biggest faith questions that comeup:1. The Bible: How it was put together, how history supports it, and the points of view of the writers.2. Prayer: How to pray, when we don't get the answers we are wanting, and sticking with God regardless.3. Faith and science: Why the two sides don't always agree, and how to handle situations that come up in school when what kids learn there doesn't line up with what they learn at church.4. The church: How it is set up, why there are different denominations, and its past, present, and future.Each chapter begins with a “parent's primer” on a specific topic that tweens often ask questions about. The primer introducesthe topic and provides further background information to share in later conversations with the kids. Next, an “honest answersQ&A” section is the part of the chapter to be read as a family. Each Q&A section begins with a brief introduction followed by sixto eight multiple-choice questions to explore together.“Our kids want and deserve discussion about God and the Bible and don't accept simply being told what to think or believe,”Faro shares. “We can enter conversations providing solid and substantive responses to tough questions without jargon, fluff,or pat answers and don't need to be afraid of questions our kids may have.” “As parents, we want to feel confident enough to say to our kids, ‘Let's talk about that,' right at their point of interest,” Albertsadds. “However, that is not an easy thing to do. These core tenets of our faith have been debated over centuries and haveinvolved councils, creeds, Bible translations, extraordinary feats of faith, and also terrible behavior. But we're the parents.These kids want to know what there is to know from us. If our kids see a pattern that when they come to us, they get honest, forthright discussion even if we do not know every answer, that will keep them coming to us as a resource as they mature intheir faith.” The tween years present an incredible opportunity to build trust with kids and to keep them coming back to their parents foranswers rather than finding other sources. https://www.lainelawsoncraft.comFacebookLaine Lawson CraftInstagram@lainelawsoncraftTwitter@lainelawsoncrft

Redefining Balance for Working Mom Podcast by Your Life Rocks
Helping Your Tween Explore Their Faith

Redefining Balance for Working Mom Podcast by Your Life Rocks

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2020 41:11


Today we are joined by the Authors of Honest Answers: Exploring God Questions with Your Tween, Janelle Alberts, and Ingrid Faro.  Even if you are not the moms of tweens, the knowledge shared about presenting the Gospel to our kiddos is priceless.  Although we raise our kids in the church, they will go through their own journey to come and find the Lord.  Listen in to this conversation to learn how to apply grace, plant seeds of hope, and be there for your kids without being their savior (this was a big take away for me!)   Grab the free Your Life Rocks App: Apple users: https://yourliferocks.com/apple Google Users: https://yourliferocks.com/Google   COME SAY HI! Website: https://yourliferocks.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/yourliferocks/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/your.life.rocks/ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/yourliferocks/   Get more tips and inspiration on our YouTube channel (2 videos a week) https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCN6ntbDf0tWD4jKDREA1VNw?view_as=subscriber   Shop Your Life Rocks Join Life Balance Membership - https://yourliferocks.com/LifeBalance Life Balance Planner for Disc notebook - https://yourliferocks.com/product/90-day-life-balance-planner-for-disc-notebooks/?v=7516fd43adaa Life Balance Planner - https://yourliferocks.com/product/life-balance-planner/?v=7516fd43adaa     Subscribe to the show so you don't miss any of our future episodes designed to help working moms like you create the life they love and be all that God has called you to!  

Point of View Radio Talk Show
Point of View June 24, 2020 : Ken Stephens, Dede Laugesen, Janelle Alberts, Ingrid Faro

Point of View Radio Talk Show

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 24, 2020 132:18


Wednesday, June 24, 2020 Kerby will host today’s show! His first guest is Ken Stephens. They’ll talk about Engage Hope. Executive Director for Save the Persecuted Christians, Dede Laugesen is Kerby’s next guest. They’ll talk about President Trump’s executive order promoting international religious freedom. His final guests are Janelle Alberts & Ingrid Faro. They’re bringing Kerby their book, “Honest Answers: Exploring God Questions with Your Tween.” It’s … Read More →

Mom Moments with Dannah Gresh
Your Tween is Ready for Responsibilities

Mom Moments with Dannah Gresh

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2019 1:00


Many tweens are begging for more “freedom”, but what do they mean by that? The post Your Tween is Ready for Responsibilities appeared first on Dannah Gresh.

Mom Moments with Dannah Gresh
Your Tween is Ready for Responsibilities

Mom Moments with Dannah Gresh

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2019 1:00


Many tweens are begging for more “freedom”, but what do they mean by that? The post Your Tween is Ready for Responsibilities appeared first on Dannah Gresh.

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Yikes. Do we really have to have “The Talk”? Yes, we do… and sooner than we’d probably like to think. Studies show that giving our kids appropriate information *before* they need it not only makes them more likely to make good decisions once they become sexually active— it also may delay the age at which such activities will begin.  In this episode we discuss:  the ages and stages of The Talk (a four-year-old gets a different answer than a preteen)why you don’t want your kids’ peers to be the arbiters of this informationwhy there’s not one “talk,” but many (or should be)how to be an “askable parent” why mothers are usually the parents tasked with these conversationshow internet parental blockers can also prevent our kids from seeing useful sex-ed contenthow to punt when you’re caught off guard (which is fine as long as you circle back later)And here’s links to research and studies we discuss in this episode:  John Sharry, Solution Talk: Facts of Life: At What Age Should We Tell Our Children About Sex? Center For Young Women’s Health at Boston Children’s Hospital: Talking to Your Tween about Sexuality: A Guide for Parents Lola’s personal, honest, real-life guide to your first period Advocates for Youth: Are Parents and Teens Talking About Sex? advocatesforyouth.org Dr. Colleen Diiorio et al: Journal of Adolescent Health: Communication about sexual issues: mothers, fathers, and friends Rebecca Ruiz for Mashable: Internet gatekeepers block sex ed content because algorithms think they’re porn It’s up to us to keep the conversation going on these topics. And if you’d rather stick your head in the sand, keep in mind it doesn’t have to be only about the improbable mechanics of it all. Here’s great advice from the Center for Young Women’s Health: Remember that sexuality is a much larger topic than sexual intercourse. It also includes topics such as gender, intimacy, sexual orientation… Talking to your tween about sexuality is an opportunity to share your beliefs about healthy behaviors and relationships with them. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast
Parenting in Public: How To Stick To Your Parenting Philosophy and Parent with Confidence When Others are Watching

Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 8, 2019 20:46


Do you feel awkward or anxious about your parenting when others are around? Do you find yourself coming down more heavily on your kids when you are out in public? Or do you find your yourself wanting to set a limit but not being able to? Are you stuck when your child meltdowns while other parents are watching, or feel uncertain what others think about your parenting style? In this week's podcast, we respond to a parent's question about social anxiety when parenting in public. We talk about how to stick to your parenting philosophies, even when others are watching, and what we need to do to parent calmly, consistently and confidently when out in public. We talk about various ways to respond well for days you are feeling brave and empowered, as well as days you want to crawl under a rock. Get ways to feel lighter around parenting in public, resist feeling judged, and focus on what’s happening with you and your child, not the parents watching. We also share one practical strategy that helps you connect to a child who is melting down in public. Listen to this week's podcast, Parenting in Public: How To Stick To Your Parenting Philosophy and Parent with Confidence When Others are Watching. You'll stop worrying about what others think while actively showing them that a kinder way to parent is possible More Resources for Parenting in Public: This is the post that Elle mentions and has some excellent responses and actions you can take when you feel the heat of judgment. 5 strategies to help when you feel judged on your “softer” parenting style And this is a nice one when your kids meltdown in public. Helping children with tantrums and emotional moments in public keep connected We’d love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org Listen on iTunes. Listen on Stitcher Don’t forget to subscribe! Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our Newsletter Got a Tween? Does it feel like they are changing? Growing in new independence, new attitudes. Do you feel left behind? Pushed away? Even if your tween doesn't show you they want you close, they do. And it's vital for their development. Learn how to keep close now your child is getting older. Our new class Staying Close to Your Tween will show you how to navigate your changing relationship, respond to the moodiness and outrage, keep close. Find out when the class launches and how you can be a part of it.