Avoidance and Control

Are you ready to get unstuck? These three Journal Prompts help me and my clients stop overwhelm, examine beliefs keeping us stuck, and build quick confidence and encouragement to get through any problem or life transition. In this Episode: why you need to examine beliefs why your mindset work is stalled or plateaued How to reframe with 3 steps Resources from this Episode: Belief Exercise freebie( with Youtube Follow along) Patterns Episode (Neuropathways 101) Moniques Links: Gifted Consultation Call Building Regulation Hybrid

Are you ready to get unstuck? These three Journal Prompts help me and my clients stop overwhelm, examine beliefs keeping us stuck, and build quick confidence and encouragement to get through any problem or life transition. In This Episode: Stop overwhelmed in 9 Minutes How to Let That Shit Go Asking for help is a part of getting unstuck Connected Episodes: Manage Change with Ashley Mina Two Ways to Stop Worrying About Others Moniques Links: Moniques Links: ⁠Gifted Consultation Call⁠ ⁠Building Regulation Hybrid⁠ ⁠Moniques Instagram⁠ ⁠Moniques Youtube ⁠

Do you often sweep hurt feelings or misunderstandings under the rug never to be heard from again? Do you run away or feel attacked when someone explains how they feel? Then this episode is for you. Allie helps individuals and couples have better sex and feel happier and more secure in themselves and their relationships. Allie is a Certified Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach, Certified Yoga Teacher and Certified Holistic Health Coach with her Master's in Education. Allies Links and Resources: Allies Website Allies Instagram 9 Steps to Successful Relationship Repair Moniques Links and Socials: Moniques Gifted Consultation Moniques Instagram Circle of Security (resources for Parents)

Does your family also avoid the topic of money? or is money a common topic of tension in your life? Not surprised, money is the most popular topic we humans like to avoid. Erica is a top notch financial planner who does everything for the love and impact of others. With an upbringing in finance she decided to change the narrative of females in the finance industry and take a different approach in her business. Erica looks to inspire and empower female business owners while taking the burden of finance off of their overflowing plate. In doing things a little differently, Erica wants to know your dreams and goals- then provides strategy and support to best bring them into fruition. In this Episode: Perfect Day Complex Legacy Planning Now Making it Easy for Loved Ones Use your Resources Ericas Instagram Monique Links: Instagram Facebook Free Consultation Call My Book Not the Chancla

Ever avoid giving an apology or excluding details to not hurt the other person? Wish you could be more calm when you are apologizing. In this Episode: How to Control the Conversation Co-Regulation as a practice Empathy as a way forward Meet Jon: Jon is a guy trying to do better. He is currently located on planet Earth and is ambivalent about existing in our plane of reality. He is an attorney recruiter by day and an apology educator by night. Jons Links: Jons Website The Apology Workshop Facebook Group Negotiated Apology Instagram Stay Tuned for the Next Workshop on July 18th, 2024 Moniques Links: Gifted Resilience Coaching Call Moniques' Book: Not The Chancla: How Awareness of our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite our Future Join Monthly Compassion Club OTHER Episodes Mentioned: - Navigating Cycles of Hurt (taking Responsibility or Accountability) - Theirs VS Ours

Are you someone who runs and hides when people get emotionally close? Is hiding from others a common behavior you have? Then you likely lean into the avoidant attachment style. Allie Andrews and I deep dive into this topic, how these behaviors are created, catch a bad rep, and how to build genuine connections. What is Avoidant Attachment Style Skills to Practice Getting Needs Met Allie helps individuals and couples have better sex and feel happier and more secure in themselves and their relationships. Allie is a Certified Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach, Certified Yoga Teacher and Certified Holistic Health Coach with a Master's in Education. Other Resources from this Episode: Map of Needs (Circle of Security) 3 Steps to Regulate Your Emotions Connected Episodes Title: Why We Fawn or People Please Patterns Part 1 Allies Links: Instagram Facebook Website Monique Links My Book Not The Chancla Book a Gifted Consultation Instagram

Some of us are control freaks, but sometimes we are bound into submission by systems that make us feel out of control. Have you ever felt this way? In this episode, we explore: Toxic Stress Experience(s) Boundaries Strengths within the Chaos Tara Leson is a multi-passionate entrepreneur who works with online business owners to build and grow their businesses through strategy, systems, and automations. She can use her extensive educational background and experience to not only see the gaps we need to fill to help you reach your goals but do it in a way that feels genuine and authentic to YOU. My passion is helping you truly live out your why and make an impact - with your business and in your life! Taras Links: Website Instagram TikTok Moniques Links Gifted Consultation Not the Chancla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

Ever notice how we keep being hurt in our relationships? Are you currently dealing with blame in relationships for yourself or from others? then this episode is for you... In the Episode : Dynamics of Narcissists and People Pleasers Stuckness in Comfort in Cycles Taking Responsibility for Our Patterns Links: My Book: Not The Chancla Book a Gifted Call Socials: Instagram Facebook Eventbrite

Jackie and I went off the rails with our conversation on growth and our gifts. Have you ever considered the parts of your personability as gifts? In the Episode we Chat about: Stepping Out of Victimhood & Seasonal Depression SAFNET Abbreviated into Skill Human Design as a tool to learn your gifts Jackies Links: Instagram Facebook Community Jackies Apple Podcast Link Jackies Spotify Podcast Link More Resources: My Apple Podcast Episode on Regulation My Spotify Podcast Episode on Regulation SAFNET Episode with Amanda (Apple) SAFNET Episode with Amanda (Spotify) Victimhood Mentality Explained: 6 Signs of Victim Mentality The Agony & Ecstasy of Victimhood Monique's Links: Gifted Consultation Building Regulation Hybrid Instagram Eventbrite

Ever feel stagnant or stuck in your healing journey? Have you ever wanted to change your old ways but were too overwhelmed with where to start? This is why I created Building Regulation. Then after four groups, I expanded the program into a hybrid of one-on-one Coaching sessions and Group support. This expanded program supports clients who need extra time to work through old beliefs and values that keep us in the way of our goals. In this episode, you will hear Aspen's story of transformation and a few of the tools I use in the program like Belief Exercise and Fear Climbing. Book a Gifted Consultation Details on Building Regulation Social Media: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

Stop trying to Diagnose yourself, you are NOT a professional. Trying to guess your friends and family's diagnosis, is also not helpful or cool. Seek professional health, that's where the real coolness is. In this episode, we go over What is the DSM (Diagnostic Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders Why it was created A few Pros and Cons The Book of Woe How to Recognize Perfectly Hidden Depression If you or anyone else is suffering from mental illness or depression, anxiety call the National Hotline at 988 Gifted Consultation

Are you curious about one of the MANY ways to rewire your brain without Retelling "trauma" Stories? Hypnotherapy is regarded as a tool to support this concept, however, my friend Shelley Martinez has an advanced approach using Integrative Change Work. Shelley Martinez is a licensed psychotherapist and life coach, creator of the Inspired Life Alchemy method. She empowers women in particular to break free from feelings like anxiety and personal roadblocks to show up as stronger partners and parents so they can have incredible careers and personal lives. In This Episode: Integrative Change Work Inspired Living Beauty in Crisis Shelleys Links: Shelleys Website Shelleys Instagram Seven Ways to Relax Instant Relaxation Technique Moniques Links: ⁠Building Regulation Presale Ends May 31st⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Gifted Consultation⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

Have you ever wondered about the differences between Coaching and Counseling? In this Part 2 Episode chatting with a Licensed Social Worker, we agree on how flexible Coaching is and how Thought Work is crucial for changing moods. Jennifer Jakobsen is a certified life and business mindset coach for coaches as well as a Licensed Therapist. She helps coaches ditch the doubt in their businesses and lives so they can show up with the confidence and authenticity that attracts paying clients over and over again. She does this using her signature “Clarity to Cash” system. Her clients call her their business therapist since she helps them get out of their heads so they can actually solve the problems in their businesses. In This Episode: Flexibility of Coaching Learn How to Seek Help What Does Trauma-Informed Mean Jennifers Links: Freebie- Uncover Quiz Jennifers Website Jennifers Instagram Jennifers Facebook Monique Links: ⁠Building Regulation Presale Ends May 31st⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Book a Gifted Consultation ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

Do you struggle with getting good sleep? Do you often wake up in the middle of the night and annoyingly can't get back to sleep? Meredith Louden is a transformative sleep coach dedicated to helping driven professionals reclaim their sleep and unlock peak performance. After overcoming 16 years of chronic insomnia herself, Meredith has helped hundreds of clients overcome insomnia naturally through her deep understanding of the mind-body connection. As the founder of Sleep Success®, Meredith combines neuroscience and holistic healing to guide clients toward restful sleep and sustainable success. Currently traveling through South America full-time while running her business, Meredith is passionate about empowering others to embrace their authentic selves and create the lives they truly desire. Merediths Links: FREE Masterclass for Sleep Merediths Website Merediths Instagram Merediths YouTube Page Moniques Links: ⁠Building Regulation Presale Ends May 31st⁠ ⁠Book a Gifted Consultation ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

Ever wonder why you said yes when you wanted to say no? If you tend towards helping others before helping yourself, this is the episode for you. In this Episode we chat with Allie Andrews about Fawning, why people-pleasing shows up, and much more. Allie helps individuals and couples have better sex and feel happier and more secure in themselves and their relationships. Allie is a Certified Somatica® Sex and Relationship Coach, Certified Yoga Teacher, and Certified Holistic Health Coach with her Master's in Education. In this Episode Allie and I Chat about: Fawning/People-Pleasing in relationships Embodied Boundaries Safety Allies Social Media Links: Instagram Facebook Allies Website and Freebies: Website Boundary Map Masterclass Sexy Conversation Calls (Consent Practice) Monique's Socials ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠ Building Regulation Presale Ends May 31st Book a Gifted Consultation

Ever think about how different you are from your parent's beliefs or values? This happens to us all, especially those of us on a personal growth journey, and those of use taking steps to break old cycles. In This Episode: "Stability" defined by Me and My Mom Navigating Differing Beliefs with Love/Compassion Reflection Questions to support Separation/ Detachment Monique's Socials ⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠ ⁠Building Regulation Presale Ends May 31st⁠ ⁠Book a Gifted Consultation

Ever felt blame or self-hatred for doing or saying something because you were upset or felt attacked? Have you ever regretted a choice you made when you had big feelings? This is called Reactions, this episode will help teach out why most of our decisions are not "Choices" but Reactions from our over active nervous system. In This Episode: Choice VS Reactions Neruopathways Rule our "bad" behavior Reminder of Your Worth PRESALE: Building Regulation Hybrid Program ⁠⁠⁠Compassion Club (free Resource)⁠⁠⁠ My Book Socials ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠

Do you ever get that pre-anxiety of all the ways something could go wrong? Do you struggle with internal validation because of how you were raised? We explored all of these topics with my friend Ashley! In This Episode: Boundaries with Family & Work Internal Validation Seeking Support Ashley Mina, COO for Online Businesses & in her own home. After getting laid off in 2023, she used her 13+ years of Corporate Gal experience and started her own business as Your Work Wife Ashley, and Community, The Working Gal co.  If you are someone who is looking to elevate your career, business, or craves community, follow:@yourworkwifeashley and @theworkinggalco You can also listen to The Working Gal co Podcast ⁠⁠Book A Gifted Consultation⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Awareness Plan Membership⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Compassion Club (free Resource)⁠⁠ Socials ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠

We all try to control how others see us, but have you ever tried letting it go? Have you tried getting to deeply know yourself? Michelle gives us all her tools. Michelle A Burke, recognized as The Hot Mess Alchemist, is a dynamic speaker and bestselling author celebrated for her transformative insights and visionary wisdom. With a remarkable ability to turn life's chaos into opportunities for growth, Michelle has become a beacon of inspiration. Her bestselling books not only showcase her mastery in distilling profound life lessons into accessible narratives but also reflect her commitment to helping others navigate challenges with resilience and authenticity. As a sought-after speaker, Michelle captivates audiences with her magnetic presence, challenging them to embrace their imperfections and view them as stepping stones toward personal evolution. With a unique blend of wisdom and wit, Michelle A Burke leaves an indelible mark on those fortunate enough to experience her empowering messages. In This Episode: Vulnerability Defined Identity "Good Girl" Break Down Michelle A Burke Links: Meditations Confidence Bundle P.S.  Whenever you're ready, here are 3 ways I can help become liberated from your limitations, discover the magic in your mess, and awaken to your dreams.  1. Read my book, "Hot Mess Magic - Discover the Magic in your Mess"  Order Here  2. Book me for your next event as a speaker or guest on your show.  3. Speak with me 1:1 Book a time to chat with me 1:1 about how I can help you on your journey. Let's Chat ⁠Book A Gifted Consultation⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Awareness Plan Membership⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Compassion Club (free Resource)⁠ Socials ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠

Ever wonder why you cannot stop worrying about the people you love and care about most? love is a hell of a drug, and our anxious nervous system tries to control everything others do.. for us to feel safe. In This Episode: Review of Neuropathways and Old Beliefs 2 Things to do Today to Stop Worrying Reflection on Efforts to Control Links: ⁠⁠Book A Gifted Consultation⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Awareness Plan Membership⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Compassion Club (free Resource)⁠ Socials ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

Ever space out when your boss or mom is talking to you? Have you ever had an out-of-body experience? In This Episode: Symptoms of Disassociation Normalize Natural Brian Process Stress Management Links: ⁠Book A Gifted Consultation⁠ ⁠Awareness Plan Membership⁠ ⁠Compassion Club (free Resource) Socials Instagram⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠LinkedIn⁠

Have you ever been called a jerk or asshole by others? Are you a male who feels like you want to heal generational cycles? In this episode, you will hear about: Machismo Energy What Men Can Do for Themselves and Their Communities How to Start the Inner Work Ian Simon is the Founder of Thine Athletics. Thine Athletics is a holistic wellness and fitness platform, whose mission is to help humanity become whole and healthy human beings. Thine Athletics is more than a platform; it's an experience designed to inspire, engage, and support each individual in achieving a harmonious balance of physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Ian's vision is to create a world where fitness goes beyond physicality, encompassing and nurturing the entire spectrum of human wellness. Thine Athletics Mind Body Strategy Session with Ian Instagram- Ian Simon Instagram- Thine Athletics Monique Gomez Resources/ Links Links: ⁠Book A Gifted Consultation⁠ ⁠Awareness Plan Membership⁠ Not The Chancla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future ⁠Compassion Club (free Resource)

Ever wonder how come we get so angry or frustrated when someone says "You need to calm down"? Or whenever you have a strong emotion and want to say something but you burst into tears? In This Episode, we break down why we avoid feelings and how our brain responds We also include: Reflective Questions for You to Answer on Avoidance Patterns and How Our Brain Works Other Connected Episodes: What is Trauma? Window of Tolerance: Nervous System 101 Links: Book A Gifted Consultation Awareness Plan Membership Compassion Club (free Resource)

Ever wonder how come we get so angry or frustrated when someone says "You need to calm down"? Or whenever you have a strong emotion and want to say something but you burst into tears? that is because your nervous system is running the show, which isn't a "bad" thing. this isn't a malicious bully being the puppet to your life. it's your brain's natural reaction system, based on your history. In This Episode: Window of Tolerance Examples of Different Windows When to Practice Regulation Skills Other Connected Episodes: What is Trauma Patterns Come Back Resources: Book a Consultation 10 Mintute Making Friends with Your Nervous System Webinar Window of Tolerance Image Awareness Plan Membership

Are you curious about how I help my clients process trauma without retelling their worn-out trauma stories? Although this work can be done by anyone, we all carry these significant experiences that have skills for us to use now and in the future. My friend Amanda Fortin, who is a Self-Care Empowerment Coach and Reiki Master has agreed to experience the work that I do with my clients. In this episode, you will hear the steps of SAFNET/ Timeline coaching, and hear Amanda's significant experiences as well as her reflection on the skill that was created. Amanda Fortin Amanda Website- https://nurture-herself.com/ Freebie- https://nurture-herself.com/store/rewrite-your-story-journal Nurture Herself with Amanda Fortin Spotify Apple Moniques Links- ⁠Book a Gifted Consult⁠ ⁠Building Regulation Details⁠ Social Media Social Media Links ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn

Have you ever worked really hard at kicking an old bad habit just to have it come back when you are most stressed? Old patterns you thought were buried in the past, can come back. It's not because you lack discipline or focus, it's because of something called neuropathways. In This Pattern Series, you will hear: How Neuropathways Work Generational Patterns Coping with High Stress How "Habits" Are Determined By Brain and (hint) Awareness Resources/ Links Book a Gifted Consult ⁠Purchase my Book- Not The Chancla⁠ ⁠Build Your Regulation⁠ Social Media Links ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠Facebook⁠ ⁠LinkedIn

Have you ever been curious about spiritual guidance? or how to tap more into your intuition? I do this through reiki/ energy healing and reflection with my clients. In this raw Episode: Racoon Meanings & Interpretations Generosity/Giving Stories Journal Prompts for Self-Reflection Resources/ Links ⁠Book a Gifted Consult Detail on Awareness Plan Membership- Includes Discounts on Reiki&Reflection Sessions Building Regulation Details- Enrollment closes 1/14/24 9 pm PST Social Media ⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠ ⁠⁠LinkedIn

Ever wondered about therapy or hiring a life coach but have no idea how or which one to choose from? While therapy is becoming less stigmatized; so many therapists are pivoting into coaching (like myself) or adding coaching as a service to help clients in a holistic way to promote health. In This Episode We Will Go Over: -Similarities and Differences in Clinical Work versus Coaching - Clients with a History of Trauma -Interviewing This Helper Before Paying -Cultural Identity Questions -Evaluation and Risk Assessment - Step By Step on How to Start Help-Seeking Resources/ Links If you are experiencing Crisis or need immediate mental health support you can call/ text the National Hotline 988 This site may also be supportive https://findtreatment.gov/ . * Save these Numbers in your phone now.* Book a Gifted Call Purchase my Book- Not The Chancla Build Your Regulation Social Media Links Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

Have you ever said, "I am never going to do that to my kids"? Yeah, crushing generational patterns starts with some education on how we grow and connect. In This Episode, you will hear - History of Attachment Theory - My Clinical Story of Attachment - What Needs to Happen in Mental Health Treatment for Client Success Resources and Links Gifted Consultation https://goldenhandsmassageaz.com/contact Presale- Building Regulation ⁠https://goldenhandsmassageaz.com/hybrid-coaching⁠ Not The Chancla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BMNVVWWS?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420 Socials Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

So many “Pop psychologist Influencers” who have a lifetime of therapy love to define Trauma and judge others, I'm here to tell you the truth based on science and facts. In this episode, I will answer what trauma is by -explaining the critiques from Pop Psychologist Influencers -explaining how trauma affects the brain - explaining the old definition of trauma Resources and Links Gifted Consultation https://goldenhandsmassageaz.com/contact Not The Chancla: How Awareness of Our History and Trauma Create Compassion to Rewrite Our Future https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BMNVVWWS?ref_=pe_3052080_276849420 Presale- Building Regulation https://goldenhandsmassageaz.com/hybrid-coaching Attunement/Attachment Research Findings: The concept of therapeutic alliance, often referred to as "attunement" in some therapeutic contexts, is indeed crucial for quality clinical mental health treatment. This alliance or attunement refers to the quality of the relationship between the therapist and the client, including aspects such as empathy, rapport, trust, and mutual understanding. Enhanced Communication and Trust -- A study by Marmarosh and Kivlighan Jr. (2012) in the "Journal of Counseling Psychology" emphasized that a strong therapeutic alliance is associated with better communication between the therapist and client. When clients perceive that their therapist is attuned to their needs and experiences, they are more likely to trust the therapist and be open about their thoughts and feelings. Client Engagement and Collaboration - In their research published in the "Journal of Clinical Psychology" in 2017, Martin et al. highlighted that a positive therapeutic alliance enhances client engagement and collaboration. When clients feel that their therapist is attuned to their concerns and actively involves them in the therapeutic process, they are more motivated to participate in treatment and work together towards their goals. Facilitation of Emotional Expression and Validation - The therapeutic alliance, characterized by empathy and attunement, creates a safe space for clients to express their emotions and thoughts. A study by Elliott et al. (2018) in "Psychotherapy Research" found that when clients feel heard and validated by their therapist, it can lead to emotional relief and a sense of validation, which are therapeutic in themselves. The study by Flückiger et al. (2012) in "Psychotherapy Research" demonstrated that clients with a positive alliance are less likely to drop out of treatment prematurely, which is crucial for the continuity and effectiveness of mental health treatment. Socials Instagram Facebook LinkedIn

Welcome to the Avoidance and Control Podcast. Avoidance and Control Podcast is for people who are ready to stand in their power and authentic truth rather than the false beliefs society or our upbringing conditioned us in. I am your host Monique Gomez, a Former Mental Health Clinician turned Certified Trauma and Resilience Life Coach here to help you befriend your nervous system to work WITH you, not against you. I'm bringing you my experience as a master's Level Social Worker, Compassionate Bereavement Care Provider, Reiki Master, and Coach all so you can build your confidence, act in your truth, and honor your needs. Are you ready to bring compassion to your reactions?