Because I Said So

In this episode, I am back with Allie in person AND in New York! We chat about oversharing vs self-isolation as subconscious ways to avoid abandonment, FOMO, the panopticon of BeReal, and what friendship means to us! As always, I hope you enjoy.

In this episode, Bazil Frueh and I discuss Rupi Kaur and the trend of "instapoetry" and minimalism in art. We also delve into our personal connections with poetry, commodification of collective trauma, the importance of humanizing representation, and the future of AI art. 

The very first episode of this podcast featured a conversation between my mom and I about the nuanced relationship between parents and children when it comes to mental health. Over two years later, we decided to have another conversation and reflect on what has changed. We spent a lot of the episode looking back at this time last year, when I was in the hospital to receive mental health treatment in the midst of a time when everything seemed to be going right in my life. During that season and since, we have both seen firsthand the lack of infrastructure we have to take care of our mental health epidemic, and we spoke about how difficult it can be for a parent to watch their child leave home for college after such a fragile period. This episode was very vulnerable, and I hope you all listen with grace. Sending love as always.

In this episode, Allie and I are back to discuss the Broadway play “The Book of Mormon” and the boundaries it crosses with satire, specifically related to race. We analyze the play as a vehicle for validation of implicit biases and caricatures, and we also touch on ways the play has been received parallel to certain comedy specials where “comedic value” can serve as a protection against the critical lens. We hope you enjoy!  

In this episode, Allie and I are back again to discuss Netflix's new Jeffrey Dahmer series and the broader conversation around romanticization and humanization of serial killers. Later in the podcast we also dive deeper into why we have an inclination towards graphic images and "True Crime," and when the tendency to seek graphic images or stories is ethical, if ever.

In this episode, my very favorite person Allie Maher and I discuss the feminine image. Is the new wave sexual liberation truly liberation, or just rebranded misogyny and objectification? How are Girlboss feminism and Bimbo feminism related? Is Brandy Melville an undercover MLM (joking, but...)? Why are ED's culturally accepted forms of self harm? We talk about these questions and more, and also offer some cheeky banter too:) Hope you guys enjoy!

Rainbow Mosho is a name you need to know. Someone who is an artist, entrepreneur, autism-advocate, NFT creator, and more...at age 14. In this episode, we explore her and her mom's journey moving to America to search for effective care, trying to work through a school system that often doesn't advocate for children with disabilities, using art as a way to overcome challenges, how creativity helped her regain speech abilities, diving into NFT's, opportunities, and future goals. Hearing Rainbow's insightful comments on the nature of healing trauma and connecting with others is touching, and she is truly one of the strongest and smartest voices I have heard. This episode is so very powerful, and I am excited for you all to hear it.

Do you find yourself not really wanting to get into a relationship because you're too independent? Or maybe constantly worrying if your friends or your partner will begin to resent you or be upset with you? In this episode we are talking about ATTACHMENT STYLES! How they form in early childhood, the science behind them, how to tell them apart, and ways to try to grow closer to the coveted ~secure attachment style~. I loved learning about this and am so very excited for you all to hear it!   SOURCES: https://studiousguy.com/john-bowlby-attachment-theory/   https://www.verywellmind.com/mary-ainsworth-biography-2795501   https://womanisrational.uchicago.edu/2020/12/08/mary-ainsworth-and-the-strange-situation/   https://m.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=160&v=QTsewNrHUHU&feature=emb_title   https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/   https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/

Growing up you've probably heard a lot about stranger danger and how to prevent kidnapping, but it seems that often times the media conflates kidnapping and sex trafficking as a lot more interconnected than they are. In this episode, I wanted to dive into the origin of human trafficking in the Transatlantic Slave Trade, and how racism forced and continues to force minorities into sex trafficking through emotional manipulation and complex power structures that ultimately make it a lot more nuanced than media tends to show. We'll also dive into the PBS Frontline documentary that follows a victim of sex trafficking named Kat and the investigation, trauma, and healing process she had to go through as a result of her experience. This one took a lot of time, and I hope you guys will give it a listen! SOURCES: https://polarisproject.org/myths-facts-and-statistics/ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sex_trafficking_in_the_United_States https://www.americanbar.org/groups/human_rights/human-trafficking/trafficking-legislation/ https://sf-hrc.org/what-human-trafficking http://centerforchildwelfare.fmhi.usf.edu/kb/humantraf/sextrafficfacts.pdf https://www.justice.gov/humantrafficking/what-is-human-trafficking “Sex Trafficking in America” PBS Documentary

The Tennessee Student Voter Act was a bill created by students, for students. It's main goal is to better inform students of resources regarding registration and voting. In this episode, Matthew Maroney, a recent Hume-Fogg graduate and cofounder of the bill, speaks on the surprising accessibility of politics, the process of developing the bill and moving through the General Assembly as young person, and different aspects of local government that make it a conducive environment to institute change. We also discuss what allows elected officials to use strategy over actual political knowledge and what advice he has for young people looking to get involved. Though the bill was killed, Katie Walker and others are looking to reintroduce an edited version again this year, one I hope you all will look into and consider supporting.

DISCLAIMER** This episode was recorded days before the release of the decision regarding Roe v Wade, and we would also like to give a TW as rape, incest, abortion, and other sexual matter is discussed in this episode. Chloe and I originally recorded this episode to come out next weekend, but in light of the recent SCOTUS decision I felt it was important to release it today. While we do not delve too far into the laws regarding abortion, we spend time discussing the importance of comprehensive sex education, contraceptive use/access, and the nuance of abortion care as well as emotional treatment. All of these issues intermingle to push the brunt of the burden of unplanned or unwanted pregnancy on historically marginalized communities in our nation and perpetuate cyclic poverty. This episode serves to provide resources and knowledge to everyone regarding sex education and related issues, and I hope this episode is as helpful and educational to you all as it was to me, especially right now.   **Show Note: Plan B does not work during ovulation, as its main job is to delay ovulation.

It's likely that you've heard about sexual assault or rape in college. The problem is treated by several universities as a norm to adjust to, not a problem to solve. When Sarah Mehany saw this problem being swept under the rug at her university, she decided she no longer wanted to be quiet. Especially in circles of Greek Life, we see a culture of secrecy and brotherhood formed that can help to create environments where these issues aren't addressed, and in some cases allowed to propagate. The differences in expectations between those identifying as men and women on these campuses tends to put this burden on women to “protect themselves,” a statement we've seen raise red flags in recent years. This episode is so crucial, and I'm excited for you all to listen. Sarah also gives tips for those who want to make a difference in their own communities, and I hope you'll take that message to heart.

In this episode, several of my fellow recent graduates and I discuss our feelings leading up to graduation, emotions on the day of, and the reflections that we put into messages for both our past and future selves. This episode means so much to me because of the vulnerability our class cultivated in the midst of tumult both in our lives and in our nation, and these people are so very special to me. I hope you enjoy these reflections and these beautiful peoples' hearts as much as I do.   Contributors include: Malik Waters, Eric Luong, Cameron Adams, Sophie Cracraft, Lucy Nelson, and Macey Gooverich

In this episode, Audrey Hines was gracious in her vulnerability in sharing her story of mental health struggles, addiction, recovery, and what that entailed in terms of advocating for oneself through the infrastructure of mental healthcare in the United States and dealing with stigma in college. In these discussions, the reasons why so many are unable to get the help that they need and deserve became incredibly emphasized and apparent through her experiences and things she witnessed on her journey. Recently on social media, there have been a lot of stories told about various wilderness therapy programs that have detailed many negative experiences, and, in this episode, Audrey detailed her own perspective on her positive experience in the program she attended, as well as why it may not be a feasible option for some. We discuss the logistics of the program, daily tasks, procedures for counseling, pros and cons, and more. This episode is touching and fascinating, and I absolutely cannot wait for you all to hear it!

In this episode, Malik Waters and I caught up almost two years later on the discussion about racism in education we had in the summer of 2020. We speak on the continuities (or lack thereof) in advocacy for black rights, why we are still having "firsts" like Ketanji Brown Jackson's historic SCOTUS confirmation, and the stigma surrounding black men and mental health. As two high school seniors venturing into a new environment and way of life this coming fall, we also discuss fears surrounding college and the way Malik is eager to break down barriers as a black man seeking a career in the field of mathematics. Stick around until the end to be able to hear some of Malik's thoughts on our Wordle obsession and his record breaking Word Hunt career, as well:) Hope you guys enjoy this one!

In this episode, Julia Halterman and I discussed the importance of athletes giving space for their mental health--even if it means stepping away from the sport, whether that be for a season or forever. Through looking at the ways obsessive behavior and "never stop" mentality ruin the minds of athletes, we were able to analyze the situations that left us in some of the most difficult situations we've faced. We hope this conversation helps to amplify the stories of athletes that we've seen emerge recently in media, and we are excited for you all to listen.

A couple weeks ago I was forced to face one of my biggest fears--becoming a (legal) adult. In this episode, I wanted to unpack our obsession with 18, the reasons we may hang on to childhood, combatting negative emotional cycles, and ultimately what it means to change. PS! I also received a very special gift on my birthday that I share with you all in this episode in hopes that it will give you all the same support it gave me:)

WELCOME TO SEASON 3! In this episode, Ava Doyle gave a vulnerable description of her experience in the special education system. We talked about the mental and physical abuse that can sometimes occur in these programs, the social stigma children learn at a young age, and the problems with being taught your identity in early education systems. Ava also discussed the inspiring connections and positives she's received, as well as what we can implement both in legislature and our own interactions to make special education a safer place for everyone.

Grief is intangible...at least that's what textbooks will tell you. However, grief's manifestations are incredibly tangible, and yet they're also incredibly complex and diverse. In this episode, I wanted to make grief even more tangible through precise descriptors that help to give names, expectations, and solutions to the nuances of grief without minimizing its intricacies. Why are the 7 stages of grief problematic? What is important about the subjectivity of grief? How is grief changed or stalled based on overlapping events? What can you grieve? This conversation is so relevant always, but especially now, and I'm so excited to share it with you!

In this episode, I wanted to reflect on the year by talking about 10 lessons I have learned, 10 hopes for 2022, and 1 word that I want to hold onto as we move into the new year. True to form, it got a little deep, it got a little funny, and it got a little vulnerable. I hope you all enjoy!

In this episode, Isa Cruz and I discuss how she is able to live confidently as a queer Puerto Rican woman in a world that has historically repelled her. Through this conversation, we spoke about what activism means, and how activism can truly extend into one simply existing in spaces where one "shouldn't." Additionally, we speak on the issue behind our generation's short attention span in relation to the efficacy of our advocacy, as well as the importance of ridding ourselves of elitism in activism. Finally, we spoke about art, not only as activism, but as a way to see beauty in the mundane and what this can do to not only connect us to others, but to ground us. Isa is a special gift, and you can identify her intelligence through the eloquence with which she speaks and the patience with which she loves. I cannot wait for you all to hear this!

In this episode, my favorite human Allie Maher and I have a discussion about the ways our external alterations truly reflect internal desires to see ourselves as individuals, and also what this entails about the ways we interact with things such as Instagram and TikTok when it comes to our own stylistic development. Allie has undergone a lot of experimentation with her appearance that she feels has led her to feeling more herself than ever, and she speaks on how she has learned to differentiate what she likes from the expectations and trends around her. As an artist, she has a unique perspective about using your body as a blank canvas and an extension of your mind, and she also speaks from experience how to overcome the fear of change or disapproval that comes with an external alteration of one's appearance. I cannot wait for you to hear this one!

Mario Martinez's story is one for the movies. When he became homeless after the 2008 recession, he was left with only his truck...and his dogs. In order to protect his pets, he decided to take his neighbors up on the offer to stay in their old barn. He goes on to about how his animals saved him when he fell on hard times, and how they became his inspiration to find a way to work for a home. Mario details his time working for the Contributor, the stigmas surrounding homelessness, and the lessons he learned. He says that he and his infamous dog, Bear, now are the most content they've ever been. We can all learn from the wisdom that resides in Mario's character and his story, and I am tremendously excited for you all to hear this. 

Happy Halloween you beautiful people! In this episode, I asked some lovely friends of mine and past guests to tell me a scary story—whatever that means to them. This compilation of stories is definitely a lighter listen, and I hope you guys enjoy:) (P.S. May or may not have included my own ghostly experience in there too;))

We are consistently trying to manipulate the ways that others perceive us, and yet we falter when someone says we've changed or are different than they thought we'd be. In this episode, Kat McBride and I discuss the ways that identity and perception affect every aspect of our lives, both in our internal worlds and our external reactions. Instead of fearing the malleability of our identities, we can CHOOSE to define ourselves instead of locking ourselves into the binaries that are insinuated by what others may innocently describe us as. This episode was so enriching, and it left me with a lot of composure about trying to know myself and giving others the freedom to misunderstand—they see one tile of my mosaic (as Kat says so wisely!)

In this episode, I bring you all along in real time as I decide to seek out a mental health professional, right before I have my first appointment, and the thoughts and emotions afterwards. In all honesty, I've been putting this off for a long time, but with the conversation surrounding Suicide Prevention Month, I decided that I was tired. Thoughts, fears, beliefs--an incessant siege on my brain that I had grown too tolerant to finally appeared urgent to me.  It is easy to post an infographic about suicide, and it truly is a lovely way to create conversation that truly helps people. This year, though, I wanted to be genuine--it is hard to seek help for any mental health crisis, and it can be just as hard to admit that, branding yourself with the label of "vulnerable." In weakness, we find strength in our humanity, and we allow space for finding strength in one another.  Sending love always. RESOURCES: --National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI)--Text NAMI to 741741 --Online support groups After Silence (aftersilence.org) -- victims of sexual violence Eating Disorder Hope (eatingdisorderhope.com/recovery/support-groups/online) -- ED's American Foundation for Suicide Prevention website (afsp.org) -- Grieving someone who died of suicide, survivor --Open Counseling: Free or Affordable Counseling in Your Area (https://www.opencounseling.com/) 

Tigris Parada is no stranger to the question, "Where are you from?" It may be curt and impolite, but it also tries to isolate her into a binary that doesn't fit. With heritage from places including Hawaii, Guatemala, and Japan, Tigris has learned to embrace the cultures that make her who she is, with one of the most important factors being staying educated on the issues that affect the people in these regions. In this episode, we discuss the untold history of Hawaii and how it still affects the narrative we portray today, as well as Asian American treatment in the US. Through this conversation, I was inspired to be more thoughtful about taking history from the textbook at face value. As I learned, and I hope you will as well, when we humanize the disgraces in our nations past, we open space for empathy and growth. This episode is truly what this podcast is all about, and I cannot wait for you all to hear it!

Gabby Ess was a high school graduate in 2020 in the midst of the pandemic. However, what has been more difficult was entering into a new season of life--college--whilst still dealing with COVID. In this episode, Gabby details how she was able to develop relationships with people while still being able to set boundaries surrounding safety amidst the pandemic. Additionally, Gabby expands on her internship working on vaccine safety in a CDC funded organization over the summer and what she has learned, as well as why it's dangerous to politicize the pandemic.

Speaking out and voicing your beliefs can be difficult in any space amongst a collection of peers, but this task becomes increasingly difficult when your peers disagree with you. Emma Rose Smith reflects back on both the experiences she is proud of and those which she has had to learn from whilst being a youth activist in her community, including organizing Nashville's BLM Protest with Teens For Equality in 2020. No matter where you lie politically, this episode offers something to everyone when it comes to learning to humanize others and try to listen even in the midst of passionate disagreement. I cannot wait for you all to hear this!

In this episode, my lovely friend Auldyn Plant describes the basics you need to know about what Tourette Syndrome is, how it manifests, and what you can do to better accommodate those who live with it. She is vulnerable and honest with her experiences, including what led her to the process of changing schools and brutal mental health episodes, but also with the ability it has given her to become more empathetic to others with disabilities. I am so excited for you all to hear this, and I am also so humbled to know this amazing human. As you will see, Tourette's is a part of her, but it isn't who she is.    RESOURCES: Tourette Association of America https://tourette.org CDC Tourette Info https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/tourette/index.html          

In this episode, Kori Alexander gives me (and you!) a pep talk. It can be so difficult to do the things that set our mental health and relationships up for success, such as setting boundaries and learning to enforce them, but together we untangle the process behind these actions. Additionally, Kori offers relatable advice regarding taking control of your own happiness and growing to know when to take the blame--and when not to. I cannot wait for you guys to hear this one!

Annalee Neeley is one of the kindest and most light-bringing people I will ever meet. However, I think one of the reasons this is true is because she has been through some tough experiences that have molded her into an empathetic and creative soul! On this episode, she talks about how she started her small watercolor business, Black Swan Creatives, in 7th grade, and how it has helped her develop as a young adult. Additionally, she dives into the challenges and identity crisis of switching schools in the midst of a pandemic, and she exemplifies maturity in her self-reflection of knowing when to push on and when to rest. So excited for you all to hear this one!

In this episode, Yael Frausto and I sat down to talk about why men's mental health so often goes underlooked, and why that matters. We spoke about how to approach family for help, especially as a Hispanic male, and the stigma surrounding male eating disorders even as female eating disorders have continued to gain attention. Additionally, we spoke about the ways in which trauma can be passed down, and how to heal when those you live with may not be willing to heal themselves. So excited for you all to hear this one!

In this episode, I wanted to have a more intimate conversation regarding why we tend to overwork ourselves and what that can look like. Overworking can be a coping mechanism, and I know I personally have used it to run away from dealing with hard emotions or to try to mitigate longstanding insecurities. It is so tied into expectations and relationships, and so I also delved into important conversations and the danger of unspoken expectations. I hope this one resonates with you!

In this episode, Sooa Chung details her experiences growing up as a first generation Korean-American facing racism and pressures from both cultures. Touching upon the recent violence against the AAPI community, she informs allies what they can do to help and educate themselves, the difference between cultural appropriation and appreciation, and fetishization of Asians. Additionally, she touches on some of the internal strife within the AAPI community, including colorism, spousal abuse, and body image issues, that she and several others hope to see change in the future.  I learned so much through this beautiful conversation, and I can't wait for you to hear it!

In this episode, Becca Stroud and I break down autism to help facilitate the conversation many people are to afraid to have. We talk about the process of diagnosis, intersections with mental health, gender disparities, and also about media representation including Sia's new movie. I learned so much, and I cannot wait for you all to hear this episode! Remember to do your research and steer away from Autism Speaks:)

In this episode, Jake Rosen and I sit down to discuss why he chose to switch from a small private school to a public school 10x larger in the middle of high school and how that has changed him. He recounts the small details that we make take for granted when we are used to an environment or culture, but also how those seemingly insignificant behaviors can be an entirely new world to someone coming in for the first time. Additionally, Jake discusses why it is okay to be in an environment, and specifically high school, and not feel the pressure to make lifelong friends whilst still growing, benefiting, learning, and socializing from the interactions and community. This episode is relatable, uplifting, and heartfelt. I'm so excited for you all to listen!

In this episode, I spoke with Lila Gilmer in order to dig into the issues she faced whilst attending Catholic school for much of her childhood. This is by no means an attack on the Catholic faith, but rather a look into the issues with a echo-chambers, stifled discussion, sexual assault and lack of transparency, and the harmful effects that purity culture can have when taught at such a young age.

TRIGGER WARNING! Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating   In honor of National Eating Disorders Awareness Week being February 22-28 of this year, I wanted to talk a bit about the different types of ED's, diet culture, and disordered eating in general contrasted with food neutrality and intuitive eating. To get into this, I also wanted to tell my story and hopefully show others that there is no "sick enough," and that you are never fully alone despite what your brain may be telling you! Resources if you or someone you know is struggling: 1-800-931-2237 (Hotline) nationaleatingdisorders.org https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/screening-tool (Screening Tool ***you can still have disordered eating issues and not have an ED!)  

Veganism can be a touchy subject! It seems like you're shamed if you aren't, but also...if you are? In this episode, Briana Pond and I discuss different types of veganism, effects on the environment, the privilege of being able to go vegan, and where to begin if you want to take steps toward a more plant-based diet.    OTHER RESOURCES: --"Cowspiracy" (Netflix): Focuses on sustainability aspect --"What The Health?" (Netflix): Focuses on the health aspect --"The Game Changers" (Netflix): Focuses on optimal biological diet --"Vegucated" (Free on YouTube): Three non-vegans adopt a vegan diet

In this episode, Peyton Boling discusses his transplant story. At a young age, he experienced heart failure and severe medical complications that made a heart transplant necessary. He details how it changed his adolescence and the effects of assumptions that others made, as well as how to sit in the discomfort and waiting period that so many of us have gotten a taste of this past year. It is evident in this conversation the level of maturity and empathy that Peyton has developed as a result of his experiences, and, although many cannot relate to the transplant experience, many lessons and themes from his story are universal.

WELCOME BACK! I wanted to start off this season with some housekeeping (schedule, upcoming episodes, YouTube!), but also with a mental health talk. There is so much going on in the world around us that sometimes it can be challenging to discern how we are really feeling, and I wanted to talk about how I've tried to navigate through the constant flood of news. Also, I wanted to discuss COMPARISON! This has been such a big struggle for me, and it has affected what I believe myself to be and what I pursue. I wanted to share my thoughts and struggles, and hopefully this resonates with you too!

In this episode, Saleban Gabure (@sailbane) and I discuss the diversity of religions and how that can seem overwhelming at first for so many people. From there, we move into breaking down the differences between faith and religion, evidence and its importance, and, finally, what unity is within the messages of the major religions and what unity looks like beyond its superficial notion. This is one you don't want to miss! 

In this episode, Apeksha Sawarkar tells us about her experience practicing Hinduism. By explaining the details of practices, beliefs, and holidays, she helps to break down stigma and stereotypes surrounding one of the most underrepresented religions in the American educational system. She also discusses the importance of representation, and the strong bond between culture and religion, especially in India and South Asia.

In this episode, we have a double-feature with two wonderful guests. First, Macey Goorevich speaks about her sometimes lonely experience growing up as a Jew in the South, and how she was able to use that opportunity to educate people around her from a young age as she found her identity and became involved in social activism. Then, Madeline Lederman discusses what inspired her to educate other youth and adults about anti-Semitism in our current society, and what her experience has been like refuting misconceptions about Jewish culture. ***DISCLAIMER: There were a couple times that I said "Church" instead of "Temple." I apologize for this mistake!***

In this episode, Bada Said and I unpack the biggest misconceptions about Islam including the history of the hijab, the reality of Islamophobia, internal strife, and the difference between culture and religion. I am so excited for you all to be able to hear about such a beautiful practice, and I am so grateful to be able to have this conversation with such an eloquent and loving person. 

In this episode, Greta Mathes and I discuss the way that the foundations of Christianity have been twisted and misused by culture in order to create a sphere of pride, arrogance, and exclusivity. We also talk about Churchianity, love at the core of life, and the duality of religion and science (spoiler alert! they work together!). This is the beginning of a series on looking into different religions, and I hope you enjoy!

In this episode, 2020 graduate Audrey Hines tells about why she chose to take a gap year before attending college, how it has affected her, and the meaningful ways she has chosen to use her time in order to create change in our country. Also, Audrey opens up about how this period of isolation has affected her mental health, both positively and negatively, specifically as it relates to her relationship with food and her body.

In this episode, Genna Smith tells about her diabetes diagnosis and the way that it affected her and her family. She speaks on choosing pride, finding a sense of community, hyper-fixation on a relationship with food and body image, and the issues that come with others making assumptions about your circumstances. Think you know about diabetes? Think again.

In this episode, Qwynn Garrett and I discuss the ways that your brain inhibits you—both consciously and subconsciously. We dive deep into topics such as procrastination, comparison, and pressure, as well as how to overcome them in uniquely applicable ways. With her vulnerability and introspection, Qwynn reveals unique truths about the way we operate and the nature of our desires, making this episode one you don't want to miss.(Shh! Just don't tell your brain about it)

Sophie Tyler has been around media and entertainment her whole life, and she's learned in the hard way that art imitates life and vise versa. Unfortunately, that means carrying the burdens of inequities in gender, sexuality, and race on many different levels of the industry. Hoping to pursue a career on the screen as she gets older, Sophie is candid about her own experiences, ways things are changing, and how she ways to make effective impact on equality in the industry.