Change The Subject

We are here today with the last and final part of Account Ability, here on The Ability Series. Today we speak from the title of "I Ain't A Hoe Ass Nigga, I'm Just Hurt!'...which embodies the perspective of a black man being hurt at the hands of a woman. Very often, as men, we dont develop the proper responses to our pain. And in this case, because our women are dear to us...this pain stings the most. BJ, and today's guest, Brotha2DaKnight of The drunken Knights Podcast, discuss this in detail. You will be surprise at how much alike these two men are, though the delivery may be different.Listen as we discuss the coming of age with women, and how we develop tactics to navigate a pain that truly hurts to feel. But we also discuss how we create those circumstances unknowingly, while still taking our causes to the effects completely for granted. this is accountability from men, on a very high level. Listen and tell us what you thought about the final part of the series. What should be the next series of abilities to discuss??? Let me know your thoughts!!!

Part 3 of The Ability Series is titled The Bad Guy Vs. The Villain. This is a space where your flaws become weaponized without your knowledge...or lack thereof. How do you maneuver through life and love with skills you don't have. BJ and today's guest, DJ Brainstorm of The DMSTBoyz, discuss how they adjusted to these difficult spaces in their manhood. We talk about accepting when you are at fault, without victimizing yourself. Accepting the things that you can't change about the past with healing and therapy. As well as steps to building the proper support system needed to implement the changes that need to be made. This is a conversation that most men don't have. And when we don't bring things to the forefront, villains are created. And emotional terror begins. Don't be that guy. Tune In and tell us what you think of this episode.

Welcome Back to the 2nd Part of The Ability Series. Today we are following up the first part, which was One Or The Other. That episode featured Shon Hyneman of It's Scary To Remarry. Previously, we discuss accountability in terms of discernment and decision making. This episode we discuss morals and integrity. But when we discuss this, it's not in the typical fashion that you are used to discussing those two issues. It's more personal to the man. giving a direct reflection of his character, without masking or covering up his truths.Today's episode, titled When Nobody's Looking, asks a serious question to our men: Who Are You, and what is your manhood like; Without Praise, Gratitude/Appreciation, or Spotlight? Without those things, is your morals and integrity the same? If not, how does it differ? We go into a very forbidden territory in a man's esteem to find out what makes him who he is. The guest on this episode, Jae of the Just Say Words Podcast, gave us a glimpse of what his manhood is currently. He gives a very interesting spin on the conversation BJ had prepared for him. But overall, you begin to see how two men deal with image, whether that be good or bad. Also, how do we apply integral behaviors to our flawed characteristics and character disapprovals of others.Between the two perspectives, you are gifted such a great and transparent conversation between two men. Both who tries to effect change through growth, education, and constructive life lesson application. We are not vowing to be perfect. But we are trying to become the best self we can possibly be. And we openly have this conversation in front of you. Join us along in this journey to positive manhood mental health. Listen to When Nobody's Looking and tell us what you think....

Welcome to the first part of what we will call The Ability Series. This is a project BJ decided to create to have some very hard discussions with men…in terms of account ability (the first ability we are touching). Here is where we have conversations with men about things we weren’t fortunate enough to have as young boys…to correct the boyish behaviors some of us men are still displaying. But it’s no judgement…simply because we all have it honestly.Today's conversation is titled One Or The Other. This is a discussing of discernment and critical thinking. We as men need to know how to adjust to the changes that effect our lives and decisions. And in order to do that, we need need to emphasize to one another the importance of family, partnership, and values.Today's guest is Shon Hyneman, a friend and brother who discusses these things regularly. He is an advocate of relationship redemption and development. Shon knows a thing or two about having to start over with residual responsibility to the previous spouse. How he conducted himself is prime example of how he manages a successful marriage, for a second time. We break down a few variables...such as picking your family over your hustle. Deciding when to become a family man along with being the family provider. How to integrate yourself back into a home you spend a lot of time away from, dealing with man issues BY YOURSELF. There is so much we have to unlearn about being society's version of a man. Our partner's and children need us. And based on Shon's experiences, he gives very important tips on how to include your family in your responsibilities...because in the end, which would you rather have: Money or A Family??? It comes a time where a man has to make a choice.Listen to Part 1 of The Ability Series...brought to you by Change The Subject!!!

Episode 40 is called Are & Be. Differentiating the differences between where you are from where you aspire to be. In most cases, we think the words are parallel to one another. but if you really dig deep enough, you will find that there is a chance that you get these two confused. Which in turn derails your progress in concerns to commitment and relationship.BJ and today's guest, Queen Poiison, discuss the differences and misconceptions of a person using where they are, as an excuse to why they aren't where they would like to be...which at times, have nothing to do with your progression. IT"S JUST AN EXCUSE. We also discuss how where you are in life will inspire false realities that you turn into standards and requirements of a partner. Not owning that thus far, you have been maneuvering with no compass or sense of direction. but will indict someone to have leadership skills. Is that your standard?...or your weakness? How do you tell the difference.As you can see...this is very analytical conversation. But it's also very necessary to have. We have to break barriers in our understanding and communication with one another. So this is the way in which decided to start this process. Talk this thing out. Listen to this episode and tell us what you think. What have your own personal Are & Be sounded like for the year 2020? What will it sound like next year?

Thank you guys and girls for tuning in to the latest episode of Change The Subject. Today we have a bonus episode for you to get into. And such a great conversation this is. Today we are discussing crushes at our adult ages. Titled 'I Ain't Had A Crush In Years", we talk about the differences in how men and women behave NOW when they discover they have interest in someone. There isn't a long lasting interest in the opposite sex nowadays. And as we progress in life, and other areas...we begin to realize that love is slowly passing us by. What has changed about interest and attraction so much, that men and women become disposable so quickly? Today we discuss this...This episode is featuring Kira from MomsAndMartinis Podcast. She is a returning guest that really is heating things up in the podcast world. She has a extremely transparent and entertaining platform that BJ enjoys. She is currently looking for love in this process of self discovery as well. How does she navigate throughout the process that she coins "Operation Stepdad" to find a true and compatible love interest? And is having a crush of any kind likely to anyone who has had traumatic and very realistic experiences that have knocked you off cloud 9? Kira discussed what's it like as a woman in her prime looking for a boo in these city streets.In this conversation, we discuss the maturity of what a crush once was...and how it was known as the very first boundary some of us had with the opposite sex. We also discuss why we don't respond the same to crushes as adults in this day and age. There are so many changes men and women are facing today that were influenced by our childhood. We discuss the way boys and girls interpret their experiences with crushes. which makes our behaviors as adults seem a bit dysfunctional.This is a great conversation that I'm sure you will enjoy. Tune in to this episode and tell us what you think!!!

It’s been a minute...I KNOW. Apologies for my absence. But I’m back with a treat for your ears. BJ has been holding on to this episode for a month now. A great conversation was had on a getaway to SEVERN, MD for a recharge. Only a small few were in attendance. And two of which had a conversation with me over dinner that spawned an idea. And if you know BJ, he always has equipment on hand. So he decided to discuss an adage that we vow before God unnecessarily, with the idea that it truly benefits your relationship. When in fact, it may actually hinder it. Yes...we discuss For Better or For Worse. With two amazing people who have seen both of those things with each other. And have stood the test of time facing both advantage and adversity...WITHOUT EVEN MENTIONING THAT IN THEIR VOWS.Today we return with the dynamic duo known as RBC (Respect Boundaries Communication)...known individually as Stefanie The Life Architect and Denny Blanco. We shared a great conversation with each about acceptance and allowances in relationships. So many thoughts were shared. One in particular was how For Better or For Worse is detrimental to anyone who may feel, at any time, that another person’s better or worse may not be sufficient enough for their fulfillment. In this case...do you settle just because you committed to that vow? There is a chance that without fully understanding the responsibility of the words, you may have signed up for the demise of your relationship health.To us, For Better or Worse is very critical to say to anyone who isn’t committed to the betterment of self and spouse. If things get worse, then we as adults deal with those consequences. But in a spiritual realm, this has evolved our matrimony into settling, bondage, abuse, and a loss of love for your relationship.We decided to talk from the title of For Better No Worse. This simply means that with Respect, Boundaries, and Communication in your relationship...you are prepared for the worse that can happen. And it won’t break or bind you to an emotionally challenged clause in your relationship contract.We talk about how women desire marriage, when you haven’t seen or supported him at his worse. Why do you feel he should marry you, when he hasn’t experienced anything in terms of support in his worse case scenarios? As well as how women will say “I only do that for my husband” though she has never been married to know if a husband will appreciate it. We talk about women being strict in terms of standards and requirements of men...due to the world’s mistreatments of women...especially Black Women. Is a high standard of man fair, if you are responsible for loving him in much lesser conditions (based on your vows before God)?This is a great conversation with great minds who have a great idea of marriage. Don’t say shit you don’t mean. Even in marriage. Because if worse comes to worse, better may just be the exit. You never know.

Today is a very special episode of Change The Subject. We use one of BJ's personal favorite personalities as the catalyst for a protection conversation about women. Hype Williamz is the guest today on Change The Subject. She is often misunderstood for aggressive, assertive, and "over the top"...and even mean if you don't understand how to deal with a woman who is fearless of truth or consequence. But if you knew what she been through, your opinion would most definitely shift. As well as help you understand women like her.Tough Cookie, which is my perspective of her (and today's topic title) deals with the women that we tend to overlook as men. the woman who is naturally tough skinned. The woman who protects everybody, including herself...BY HERSELF. We assume a lot of women's strength, and take for granted that there is still a need there for you to fulfill...even though she appears to be handling things very well. We talked about how she grew up in the Bronx, and how the church steered her in the direction of the streets. Because yes...the church fails to protect our women as well. From there, we adapt to how she developed into the woman she is today. Her everyday existence is a learning lesson. Something as simple as taking the train will teach you life lessons. All of which she discussed here. She tackles the disconnection with men, in terms of strong alpha women. Why it seems that strong women make men feel emasculated or inferior. We talk about how she parents, submit, and dominate in all the spaces of her life. She explains the struggle of knowing when to take off her superhero cape and just be...because being Hype is hard. Lastly, she tells me the unapologetic truth about how we can make women's lives easier, without feeling intimidated or unsure of yourself. You can learn something here. We can learn to love our strong women a lot better. Tune In an tell me what you think.

Episode 37 is a very dope conversation, brought to you by BJ and Change The Subject. We are discussing how we as men sweep women off of their feet in year 2020. Titled, The Broom, BJ and today's special guest discuss the importance of trying, in terms of women, to emphasizes our queens worth and importance as men. As well as the genuine concern we have to our reputation of giving our best to them, without expectations of reward.Today's guest is a long time coming, but we finally got him here. Jayomega, 1/3 of The Officially Street Podcast, completes the cypher of guest spots on Change The Subject. His co-Host, Syer and Cherry Poppins, have each made appearances on the show. But today we have The Washed Ambassador here to talk about the importance of the effort he puts into his marriage.We discuss very important topics from three specific angles.....Kicking Her Feet Up - The way you relax and relieve her from the pressures of the relationship and her own individual responsibilities.Keeping Her Feet Done - Maintenance and Upkeep of her feetNot Giving Her The Run Around- This should be self explanatory!!!.This conversation is packed with useful information that all men and women can use to their own relationship benefit. Jay is young, but shared some true OG married wisdom that can work for the young and old lovers in the world. It is important for us as men to do some detailed sweeping away of inconsistent intentions and gestures. We need to practice how to use our brooms affectively to keep our ladies happy. Press play on The Broom and see what two men discussed that can really help relationships return to a level that love has been missing for some time now.

Teach Me How To Love You Better is back with Lesson 14. BJ is excited to present this really good conversation about protecting your hearts and bodies simultaneously. Today's lesson is called Using Proper Protection. This is a discussion that talks about the responsibilities we neglect when dealing with our adult urges and sexual needs while being single. Sometimes we experience needs before we find the person we would need to fulfill them. We also encourage our irresponsibility by proclaiming to be adults…as if we are capable to control the feelings and heartbreaks that come from other adults.This lesson was given to us by Coko, known as NeoSoulCoko of The NeoSoulCoko podcast. She gave us her personal experiences with dating and intimacy with several men. She kept it real. She told us how it benefits and hinders her. There are pieces of each that defined her actions NOW that she is ready to actually be committed to one person. Is it possible that because you don't have positive protection practices to use that a lot of us have lost our faith in love? This conversation really dug into that.We talked about how open we are with our friend with benefits. How we place restrictions on that friend, to save something for a relationship. And in doing so, it robs you of the fulfillment you are trying to get to by going around the relationship. We also discuss how much respect are you allowed to show someone you are just sleeping with. There is so much discussed in this lesson for men and women to get into. Press play and let me know what you think.

The good brother BJ returns with an unexpected release of Change The Subject. Episode 36 is called My Sentiments Exactly. This conversation is about women's favorite word of 2020: intentionality. As men, we can go throughout our lives battling to overcome our obstacles in life. And in those times, we communicate our intentions in a very indirect way. You can't blame us for being wishful thinkers. But all in all, BJ and today's guest decided to address why this level of communication is a setback to your manhood. Telling the truth should be permitted in all of the relationships you have. But in this case, we use sentiment to attain love that seems so hard to accomplish with honesty alone.Today's guest is Denny Blanco, a very entertaining and intellectual gentleman who has had his share of sentiments go wrong. And we found out in this conversation that a lot of men truly have good intentions, in the grand scheme of things. It's just that the setup, articulation, and action just doesn't measure up. These things are NOT completely his fault. Some of these deficiencies come from the women and men in his life.....the abuse he takes at the hands of selfish women who date....and so many other scenarios. Here, Denny and BJ share stories of how these things destroy the bonds built with our words. Men of all ages can learn from this very dope conversation between two men who mean what they say, with the actions to match. Tune in and tell us what you think. And tell a friend who you believe could afford this master class to come along for the audio excursion. This was a extremely dope conversation.

Episode 35 is a great man to man conversation titled When Your Right Hand Man Goes Left. This is actually a follow up to a conversation BJ held earlier in his career with the Drunk Mind Sober Thoughts podcast in Cleveland Ohio. We follow up this conversation in attempts to improve our connections and concerns for our brothers, in terms of growing pains. Usually when a brother decides to go left, its assumed that he is straying away with negative intentions. But in this case, he may be straying to continue his growth process. And when we grow up, our immature friends will somehow weaponize that growth, and turn it into some sort of betrayal. So Johnnie and BJ have a very in depth conversation about how to approach these issues directly.We start with talking about the responsibilities of a brotherhood. Who is the leader of a very immature group of men? we also ask the question, "who is responsible for the wake up call of the entire crew"? These are questions that we often do not ask ourselves when we enter into our brotherhoods. As well as failing to establish codes and ethics to follow to make sure the bros all stay on an equally playing field for as long as they can. We also discuss our responsibilities to singleness, and how we have to be aware of the consequences of too much fun. We never set boundaries...so this was brought to our men's attention as well. Lastly we discussed the respect of the woman your brother had a baby with, and how important that is to the niece or nephew that calls you uncle. Why don't we assume full responsibility for the women our brothers procreate with? We challenge men to establish that integrity, and not just reduce her to just "a baby's mother"...she should be a sister as well. So this conversation is a rehash of how important it is for men to have standards. Everybody that goes left is not betraying the pack. Some of us are establishing a new way of thinking. And in order for us to grow as a immature crew of brothers, somebody has to step out...or away. This episode attempts to help you understand how to manage when things go left!!!

Lesson 13 of Teach Me is here. And this is not the usual conversation we have on this show. But its a talk point long overdue for discussion. Today's lesson deals with narcissism. We learn that this thing we are so critical of, when we encounter it in people, is actually considered a mental illness of sorts. And also bares so many merit based traits in all of humanity. But somehow it is weaponized against our women in some detrimental ways that BJ decided to discuss with today's instructor for this lesson.AJ Bad Ass Jones is the professor today, giving some very key flags that we often do not see in narcissists. Because they are known to be accomplished, charismatic, and extremely charming. These things can be overwhelming to a woman who does desire love and attention, while trying to focus on her improvements during the waiting process. AJ warns women of these tactics in typical Bad Ass Jones fashion: Honest, Raw, and Unapologetically. She held no punches.This lesson also introduced a new segment called The Love Language Barrier Breaker. This segment is created with the idea of finding creative ways within the other four languages, when the one in focus isn't working. We discussed Physical Touch, and how you accomplish this without using your hands. AJ gave tips on how men can step their intimacy game up without lifting a finger. She also gave a touch tip for women as well. This conversation was filled with great conversation, topic points, and takeaways that you will appreciate. Press Play and listen to us discuss these N Words reeking havoc on our women!!!!

Welcome to episode 34 of Change The Subject...that we will call The First "Nice Guy'. This discusses the guy who comes in contact with a woman at the worst times in her life. Each of those times seem to destroy a good guy by nature...so BJ and his special guest discuss what this process feels like. today's guest is a homie by the name of Ralph of Oversaturated Podcast. its been a long time coming for these two cats to get on a show. And on this episode, it finally happened. We were able to discuss a not so fruitful pastime where the nice guy doesn't end up with the nice things he bargains for...by courting and counseling unavailable women.Listen as we discuss the full concepts of a nice fella in two different spectrums; The guy who loves to fix and mold women...and the guy who can weaponize his niceness overtime by being taken for granted. As well as describing the women these guys run into that changes the nice guy into a fuck boy (for a lack of better terminology). This was a really laid back conversation between two kings discussing the importance of our fellow brothers knowing their worth...as well as the worth and character of the women you are trying to impress. you don't always have to finish last as a nice guy....Just have to take your time finding nice women who deserve what you have to offer. But just know...it ain't always safe to fall for The First "Nice Guy" you meet either. Press Play and find out why!!!!

Lesson 12 of Teach Me How To Love You Better is titled Feels Like I'm Cheating. This conversation is about people who have yet to accept the darkness or disturbances they feel about their past. The attempts to mask it always seems to find a way to come forward when you least expect it to. And what tends to make these moments difficult to stomach are when the person you love is critical of a time they weren't even a part of. And they treat your story as if it makes a difference to their happiness. but whether you know it or not...they are telling you how they respond to their own issues with the past. And their intrusion may be the way to justify their own distaste with their past transgressions.Today's lesson was gifted to us from Latrice Sampson Richards, who is a mental and emotional wellness creative. She took the example issue BJ presented from a past account that came up in the beginning stages of dating...and made so much sense to the guilt we place upon innocent people we date after hurts of the past. And every defense we create to prevent our hurts seem to make people feel as though they aren't trusted. It's almost as if they are accused of cheating just like an individual from the past. And if they are perceived as cheaters, even in their honesty...it leads them to potentially do the wrong things. And its no one's fault but yours. You inspired the very thing that you are ultimately afraid of.Latrice gave us so many great pointers of why we feel so convicted by our pasts. How we don't respect a person's privacy in a relationship. How we romanticize our relationships so much that we falsely believe that your significant other should be the last to hurt you, when in fact they are most of the time the first. The idea that a person's humanity and past experiences are deemed unacceptable are the very reasons many feel like they are cheating. And it may be because you as a person don't know how to accept someone for who they are because you don't know how to accept yourself either. I hope you are ready for todays lesson. It bares so many truths about how we truthfully misunderstand what it truly means to love someone FLAWS AND ALL!!!

My dawg came through on Episode 33 of Change The Subject. And BJ is excited to chop it up with the homie. D Murph of Why Not Sports (as well as Flagrant 2) is a long time friend and brother who was present at the very beginning of Change The Subject. He was the person who poured into BJ the encouragement he needed to believe that his message would carry throughout this culture on Indy Podcasts. He was even present for the very first episode, Completion Of A Compliment. So 32 episodes later, he returns to catch up. This is a very busy and dedicated guy...who has continuously managed to keep grinding and create avenues for himself. So, we brought him through to talk inspiration, confidence and hard work.Todays topic is Bottled Up Black Boy Joy, which touches on the passions and feelings we keep inside to serve other purposes the world would deem to be more relevant for the time being. But Murph and BJ discuss how you only get one life to live. And with that life, you have to live it out to its fullest potential. So we discuss what it takes Murph, in order to live up to his personal mantra: "Keep Grinding and Keep The Faith"....as well as a few other things that can motivate you to press forward with your dreams and goals.We discussed the struggles of our world, environment, and families...and how even that can be a distraction to what God put you on this Earth for. How senseless it is to waste time worrying about things that you can't change. As well as your faith in God, and where it needs to be in times of doubt and uncertainty. Murph tells us about how something as common as a basketball was able to transcend all of his ideas for his life to much higher heights he couldn't imagine. also telling how basketball has influenced his love for speaking, mentorship, and interactions with the world. We had a great time catching up...and hope that you enjoy this conversation about being happy despite of. Tune in to episode 33 and tell me what you think.

Today we have what is going to be called a Group Chat lesson. We have two women to hold a conversation with today on Teach Me How To Love You Better. The lesson, titled "H For My Husband" is another spiritual follow up to Sexy In The Eyes of God with Simply Sonja. We have special guests, Erika Monae and Ashley of That Girl Podcast to discuss a few things in a spiritual space and relationship. And trust me, it's not what you think. This isn't brow beating. Its a very relatable conversation about discipline, self control and respect, communication and celibacy for people who struggle with chemistry with other people. Practicing self control is a very useful tool for self preservation as well. So that the best of our years are not spent, or wasted, with meaningless people.H For My Husband is encouragement to believe in true love, and all it's potential. And we have a very unique way of getting you to this point in your adult life...We aren't solely speaking from how the church would communicate this lesson. this relatable and very transparent. We talk about how men fit in a spiritual space with a woman. the importance of knowing himself. We discuss the role of a captain, in a way you probable haven't discussed before. We talk about praying, and how you can actually go to god with your checklist of what you want from a companion. We also talked about sex. And how it pertains to two Christian women who practices celibacy, and the challenges of their humanity. I'm positive that you have never heard an episode like this. Press Play!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen!...welcome to episode 32 of Change the Subject. Today we bring to you an episode called Lead and background Vocals...which is a sophisticated way to address a few things. And because of such a sophisticated conversation, I needed someone who has wit, experience, and perspective to drive these points home for the listeners. So I called in today's co-host Stefanie The Life Architect to assist me in addressing today's topics at hand.First we set out to address accord, and the belief that that resembles or exemplifies unity. Stef and I discuss how accord can sometimes be mislead with ego and intentions. And how we as people need to really understand what it means to be an individual within a group. And to take the topic further, we were able to take our love for R&B music to bring out intricate pointers to help you understand the nuances of accord within our social groups.We then discussed the rise and fall of so many of our favorite groups in music. The politics of relationships. The lack of respect for each person's job in the group. We also discuss the position and responsibility of both the lead and background vocalist. And with each example, we are positive that you will find yourself within your group of friends and family. Are you a lead singer who carries a group of people to success or sustainability? Or are you a background singer who stays behind the scenes and only come forward when its time for praise or profits?The way this topic was created will discuss where we are in our lives, circles and our world. You will completely see yourself in this conversation. This is ear candy that will surely entertain, as well as get your thoughts running wildly within your mind. For some, it may go over heads. But the end result should be a conversation about how we should learn to appreciate those who carry the brunt of the work. Or who are responsible for the most minimal things that we take for granted. because accord does not mean we agree...it means how well we perform together despite the fact we are different!!!

Today's lesson of Teach Me How To Love You Better is an invitation to what we call "Modernized Ministry"...where we talk about God and Sex in the same conversation in the most realistic way. This lesson, that we call "Sexy In The Eyes of God", tackles the fears of God and our sexuality abiding within the same space. most of us want to be desired, attractive, and accepted by someone else. But truthfully, we complicate this entire process by first not excepting ourselves for who we truly are.This Modern Body and Bible Study was conducted by Simply Sonja, a very sophisticated creative who has meshed the worlds of faith and fashion together to bring people closer to Christ and their confidence. She was an open book about how she got saved....Once was the complete opposite of who she is now...and what that transformation process was like. also, how her transformation created Transformation Tuesdays, which is a series she creates on YouTube for christian motivation and encouragement on the journey to finding greater self. She dropped gems on how a woman of god can embrace her sexuality without being overcome by it...and potentially disobedient to your savior.This conversation is packed with so many talk points. We discussed Body Positive adjustments being made in the church. As well as the open dialogue needed to save those who struggle with their humanity and sexuality. Sonja addressed the taboo topics that we all have dealt with one way or another. She also backed up every statement she made with personal experiences. We talked about what feeling sexy is to Christians...and how most times, feeling sexy has nothing to do with sex. Lastly, how women should begin practicing how to embrace the body God gave you. There was a ton of information in this lesson to create conversations within your personal friend circles and church membership. We need to encourage these conversation more often. There are a multitude of people who want to come to God. But his people are the barrier between the connection. Because when God commands that you come as you are, he means it. But His children have to adjust to the needs of the people showing up. But luckily for you, if this is you, Sonja and BJ created an alternative way to have a realistic conversation that will help you make gradual steps towards growth. You will love and relate to this lesson. Press Play and enjoy!!!!!

It is truly unbelievable how a world can possess so much hate for Black, Brown, and Native American people. And as white supremacy and inequality continues to rise, we are seeing an uprising. People of Color have had it up to HERE with the system and its oppressors. We are outraged, angry, frustrated, hurt, wounded, persecuted, and abused at the hands of White America. And as a people, we are screaming that enough is enough.Listen as BJ and Christian of Dem Chakras Podcast catch up with each other on their mental health, their feelings about the race war, and the suddenly strong distrust of white america. We discuss how difficult it is to trust allies who have the same skin of our oppressor. And how it hurts to be black, with nowhere to go...mentally, spiritually, and culturally...to feel free. The frustrations that we are experiencing would make any sane person go crazy. And this could possibly be the breaking point. So we give fair warning, which to us should already be understood. But AGAIN...if you continue to disturb the peace and prosperity of people of color, you will see a side of us you will regret. We come in peace, but if you disturb that peace...WE WILL BURN THIS SHIT DOWN!!!

BJ is excited to present this lesson of Teach Me How to Love you Better. This lesson deals with women, and their anxiety. The anxiety for something that you absolutely deserve, but may not be your time for. And this is what God or your energy may be communicating. How can you tell a person, whose efforts show that they are much better than who they were prior, that they still have to wait a while for what it is they worked hard for? it begins to feel like the work was for nothing. but there is also a possibility that the work you were doing was never about you personally. It may be that you have to love a person with those same skills you developed on your behalf, for their betterment.We discuss this lesson with Lex, of The Free Space Podcast. A beautiful soul and person, who is also waiting for her turn at true love. And her process is much difficult than others. She does social work. She is a mother. She is also a care giver. None of which she takes lightly. But where does Lex fit in her own life? And how is she going to be able to fit in love, when she can't seem to fit in time for her own self care? And for a guy who may be looking in the distance, is the priority of your life making you appear unavailable, simply because you are occupied with a bunch of things you don't really care to be doing at this moment. We discuss why anxiety plays a intricate part in false starts and high expectations. I'm sure many of us can relate to this conversation.Tune in as we discuss anxiety, self help/care, skills to love yourself and others, and so much more. Many of us are where Lex is...But can we love another person in your own shoes, if this is just so happens who God sends you? We learn that loving ourselves is a deeper process needed that ensures better treatment and handling of others. Mainly our significant others. Press Play and enjoy!!!

We have been fighting the virus and the troubles of this world...but we are here with episode 30 of Change The Subject. Titled "Talk To Me Nice", this episode is about the golden rule being applied in a relationship. When you say to someone "treat them like you want to be treated"...its often negated by someone believing that positive treatment comes from the energy and vibes you put out. But for most of us, we found that some folks are shitty because they deal with shitty people. So when your partner isn't chipper in your presence, do you ever hold yourself accountable? This is what BJ, and today"s guest decided to dive into.Our guest is none other than Smackie Robinson himself, Syer of The Officially Street Podcast. If you are a long time listener, you are familiar with how BJ and The Washed God politic. We discussed how treating a man like an equal can be beneficial to all the things women seem to expect from them, just because he is responsible for the job. Common laws like "sharing is caring" are exhibited in the examples given in the episode...where we talk about taking out the trash and doing the dishes. How chores can incite intimacy. And how, some jobs we handle aren't things we actually like to do...so having someone understand your plight can bring about a certain peace to your relationship. The constructs of gender roles have truly destroyed our relativity to each other. Me and Sy challenge these ideas with easy applications and words of advice.More importantly, we tackle the conversation of treating men like a lady...and NO, not like bad bitches or demeaning as the world treats our women. But with respect, dignity, and consideration. Do we compliment our men the same way we do our women when they deserve it? What about when he puts on a little weight? Do you make him feel sexy, when he get a little thick? Where are our women's attention spans to the needs of our men...and do you talk and treat him nicely enough to be entitled to his provision and protection? Tune in and hear two kings break down this relationship barrier. We love our ladies...but do they love us back????

We have finally returned with a brand new lesson of Teach Me How To Love You Better. This segment is a conversation created by a man who desires to create intentional conversations with women. Hopefully those of you who are new to this process will enjoy the new discoveries and concepts of love that we discuss on this segment. But for those of you who have been here before, welcome back. Today's lesson discusses a disposition a man has in millennial dating. questioning whether he serves an actual purpose to what this dating scenario is. Most of his experiences have been centered around the necessities he provides to the date, in order for it to happen...and not actually being a part of the greater picture that his investments actually are intended to paint for him. Men have began to question: Am I here for just the perks I provide to a woman's dating expectations? Or am i actually a part of a plan that involves me being loved, just as she desires to be? We were able to find a woman to discuss this concept with. And yes...she had answers.This lesson was given to us from Maya...who since our conversation has become an ambassador for Savage Fenty; the brand built by mega star Rihanna. She is also responsible for her own movement. One, being her YouTube Channel, Have Fun and Stay Fly with MyOhMy. And two, being her curvy girl circuit that she calls The Curvy Coalition. On TOP of co hosting a podcast called Pretty N Purposed Podcast, that she hosts with Celeste and Jess. These three women empower women to be their best, and give tips, personality, and inspiration to the women who need a push. Maya has so many outlets to share her experiences with. Which is why we have her here today on Teach Me Tuesday.Maya and BJ discussed the needs and views of both men and women. The communication and love language barriers we have to get through to reach one another. Also, how she feels we need to be open minded to learning the person you want to love, versus using past experiences to deal with a new love interest. We discussed how Maya grew up being a planner, and how that strict regimen helped her achieve her goals in life, but not necessarily love. We had a very healthy conversation about how healthy it is to plan for yourself and your future...but how it tends not to matter when a person shows up with a plan themselves once you begin dating.We talked about the ideas of men being a plan. The consideration of how women treat men as perks, while trying to insist that them being used and taking advantage of is a part of a greater plan or process. there is so much to cover in this lesson that you can gather takeaways from. We would love to hear your thoughts on this conversation, as we return back to uncover the dysfunctional attributes of male and female interactions. I hope you enjoy this return lesson. Relax and press play on Men Are A Perk...Not A Plan on Teach Me How To Love You Better!

Episode 29 is here Ladies and Gentleman!!! This episode is titled Love And Poverty Don't Mix (Damn Shame right???). Love always seems to suffer nowadays because of a person's well being...or lack thereof. Today's conversation is geared towards the idea that what needs to be enriched is our perspectives, more than our pockets. And I brought someone perfect along for the conversation.Today's episode's guest is none other than Ms. Nicole Banks of the Let's Keep It 100 Webcast. Ms. Nicole Banks has a very unique perspective....hell, controversial even. And she bought the smoke we needed to have this healthy debate about what's required of men financially, to secure him romantically. And of course, BJ is defending our kings, and emphasizing that money still hasn't bought men any more compassion, care, or consideration from our women. And from our healthy dialogue we came to a concerning question....Is Black Love less likely to thrive because of poverty stricken circumstances???Tune In as we discuss the three men Nic's name is branded on...a new financial approach to dating....and plenty more. We also discuss getting out of the ghetto, and what that means to your relationship. How men are criticized for dating above their means (something that women have trademarked). Why is it unfair for men to strive for greater in relationships? We tackle that in this episode. This episode is interesting and very entertaining. Hope you ladies and gentlemen enjoy this!!!

We have finally overcome the depressions and anxieties of Covid 19, and have returned with a brand new episode of Change The Subject. Episode 28 is a conversation about trust and disconnection during the intimacy stages of relation/situationships. We are isolated from our livelihoods, families, and friends during the quarantine. And I'm sure we all are anticipating when life as we know it will return back to its normalcy. But believe it or not, everything will be different when we are allowed to be social again. Even love and dating will shift completely once we are in them streets again. How you gon' act when your freedom to live and love is returned back to you?Today's episode, titled Kissing With Both Eyes Closed, is speaking to something we forget how to do...living in the moment. It talks about that special moment when chemistry is completely out of your control. You are enjoying the vibes and energy of another person. And the time comes to submit to the connection that undeniably has you captured. Because we are so engulfed in our phones and our own heads, we don't enjoy the opportunities that we are gifted to let go an just be. To kiss someone and not worry about if he is a frog or a prince....or to kiss a woman without wondering if she sees me for who I am. The moments of just being have gone missing from us, and we need to rediscover our love for love and connection all over again....The guest for this episode is Kira of The Moms And Martinis Podcast, a great mind and conversationalist who believes that these moments are very significant to your esteem, confidence, and love life. She shared so many tips about how to handle when you get lost in the moment, while your partner missed the memo. The conversation, and invitation, that is necessary for breaking intimate ice between you. As well as a therapeutic process she calls L.O.M. Sessions; that help aid in the disconnect and response to intimacy that many of us suffer from. This conversation was loaded, and such a great time to have. Soon enough, we gon' be outside with our hearts in our hands again? How are you about to act once its time to take a chance on love again? You gon" be scared or nah???

Love: On Loud Speaker is available here on Change The Subject. Love: On Loud Speaker is a conversation about the concept of loving out loud. One of many battles of the sexes is the idea that men aren't professing their love for their women today. And as sexist as this sounds...the real statement should be that men aren't professing their love the way women want them to. I KNOW, I KNOW....typical man shit. But it's true. Men have shifted their focuses to other things besides women. And to our delight, its finally getting under their skin. Enough for BJ and today's guest to have a conversation about it.Today's guest is Jazzie Bee from The Melanin Uncorked Podcast. Our conversation derived from Twitter, where we discussed social media's favorite relationship goal couple (for yet another year smh), Russell and Ciara Wilson. The dialogue was about how much visible and outward expression Russell shows for Ciara. But women are not realizing is that Ciara doesn't slander men while waiting on her knight and shining armor. And that turned into a serious discussion about what men and women think about loving out loud. Jazzie felt that men can do better. BJ felt as though men have been. The only catch is that men, and their benefits, have only been beneficial to men. Has very little to do with the women. And this is what they can't stand. But who do you think taught men how to play "the fallback and get your shit together principles"....THESE SAME WOMEN. Jazzie and BJ had a great conversation filled with perspectives on this. You will definitely find something on either side to agree with. The purpose of this show was not to agree at all....but to definitely create more conversation and appreciation of each other.Topics range from how black people view Russell Wilson....how Russell and Ciara's relationship can't be manifested through the manuscript of Ciara's prayers....to how the hood produced more Future's than Russell's; and how the Russell's go unnoticed. And lastly, how loving out loud can't be just in profession and commitment. Loving out loud has to also be incorporated in those times when the opposite sex is on fuck shit too! Loving a person in both good and bad times still has importance. This is the part that both men and women tend to forget.Who would have thought that after being ridiculed for so long that Men need to love out loud...they would begin to love themselves more??? Tune In and here the perspectives of two dope creatives on Episode 27 titled Love: On Loud Speaker!

BJ is super excited to bring you Episode 26 of Change The Subject. This episode is very touchy (for many reasons), but In very positive and constructive ways. This episode deals with fathers, and the the wages of the sins committed against the women they've encountered. This conversation, titled Blindly Benevolent, discusses the many ways these wages increase by the second...as you aspire to do right by through people who are undeserving of someone else's just due. Today's guest is none other than Christal Clear of Christal Clear: The Podcast. Christal is a diamond mind whose name suits her perfectly, because that's exactly how she presents her perspectives: CHRISTAL CLEAR. Christal as in CRYSTAL, yet and still in her very own way. She has a gift in making things plain. And in this discussion, she did just that!!A few of the talks points are:.I. The idea of loving your children can be accomplished without the love and respect for the mother.II. The Possibilities of Toxic Co Parenting.III. The Right Ideas With The Wrong Application.IV. Individuality Development and Freedom In Children.V. Spoiled Daughters Growing To Become Rotten Women To The Core.There are so many diverse perspectives thrown into this extremely heavy conversation. It is so ironic that this would be the conversation I would be having with Christal. Giving her the opportunity to discuss perspectives of her upbringing reminded me of how I was introduced to her in the very beginning...which was an episode of her she titled Daddy Issues. And here she is speaking with the education, experience, and growth that will definity help men and women negate the possible destruction of a child's well being; by the misguided affections of a parent.I can not tell you how much is packed into this episode. You will just have to press play. You will definitely learn more about BJ and Christal's similar upbringings. You will also see a different side of Christal, that a lot of her listeners question, but just cant see or ask. You also hear us discuss or differences in perspectives, constructively, to give you a well balanced conversation that will add in understanding the dynamics of misguided love with good intent. Open your minds and ears to "BB feat CC" (as Christal puts it) on Change The Subject. You may not be completely entertained...But you will definitely retain so many life directions to better love and communication between parents and their children.

BJ is back with Episode 25 of Change The Subject. Fresh off of an incredible episode called "I Know These So Called Playas Wouldn't Tell You This" with AJ from What We Gone Do Podcast...comes another great conversation about how men view and receive love from their women. This episode, titled Love Hard...Or The Hard Way?, is discussing the way we communicate the love we think is dedicated to our mates. We don't think that the love we give has any toxic traits....but in this conversation today, we see that that is the furthest from the truth.Today's episode features KeKe from the Kinks With KeKe Podcast. She has been a long time guest on my wish list of creatives to work with. Her show is a great podcast that deals with extreme dimensions of sex. So BJ assumed that in that realm, she had to be familiar with connection, vibes, and certain energies. We discussed how the physical connection interferes with the emotional aspects of our relationships. How rejection plays a part in healthy relationships...but can still cause a person to act irrationally to their partner. Lastly we discuss what loving hard means. Does it really mean to say "deeply"?? Or is it just that you chose the hard ways to express yourself and your feelings?....AND you are actually waiting for someone to break down those barriers to your better communication. This is a great conversation between two people who knows about love from many perspectives. You will completely enjoy this episode. Tune in and tell us what you think!!!

Change The Subject is here a bit early with episode 24, which is titled "I Know These So Called Playas Wouldn't Tell You This..." ....which is a line from one of the most heralded recordings of the famous R&B group Jagged Edge. And in this case, what most won't tell you is THE TRUTH about why men are so reluctant and late to get married. But here at CTS, we decided to open up a conversation about the man who is on the fence about it. The episode's special guest is a guy who personally has a completely different perspective on this conversation. Simply because he is a married man who married very early in his life. We brought AJ from the What We Gone Do podcast to explain the story behind his decision to become a man early...and make one of the biggest decisions in his life (before he even had a chance to actually live it)...So much is said and shared in this conversation that BJ and AJ had together. And from this conversation, BJ was able to learn from AJ's wisdom and conscience....and was able to retain takeaways to deposit into his own relationship. This is the conversation men need to have. Also, this is the conversation women need to hear us have...and possibly join the conversation. You will love what these two kings created in this episode. And just know, part 2 is in the works. Hurry up and PRESS PLAY!!!!

We are here with the official FIRST episode of year 2020. And from the title alone, you can tell that we aren't going in the same direction as last year. We are here to improve and empower. And today's episode is going to assist us in the direction we would need to go in, to get there. This episode is called The Spiritual Partner Episode. It talks about the person you cling to in spiritual and mental warfare. To be able to extract a prayer warrior out of your friendship circle is a blessing. so, BJ discussed the ideas of his own spiritual partnership experiences. Along for the conversation is his spiritual partner and sister, Christian Briana of Dem Chakras podcast. Together they discuss a multitude of things.Among them are:Starting Your Spiritual Journey Outside of The Sanctuary.The Concept Of Relationships Being Spiritual Spaces.Manifesting When Nothing Seems Available or Interesting.Seeing The God In Your Partner.Spiritual Partnership Does Not Come With Your Relationship.And So Much More...There is so much to digest in this episode. I want the listener to understand that now is the time to take your spiritual walk seriously. Not only with God, but yourself as well. Tune in to The Prayer Partner Episode. Let me know what you think!!!

Welcome to a brand new episode of Change The Subject. Today we have a bonus episode, that was recorded on a quick trip to Philadelphia last weekend. While BJ was out of town trying to start up new business...he was able to connect with one of his favorite guys to kick it with. Who is also a brother and friend. Danny of the Danny and Cleo Show stopped through to catch up and fellowship with his brother. And we decided to kick it on the mic and share our dialogue with the listener. Its been a while since BJ seen Danny. so typically, whenever he catches up to Danny...he will ask him "Where You Been At?'....To my surprise and delight, Danny has been at peace.Listen to us discuss, audio books, early days of podcasting, and the subtle art of not giving a fuck. Danny has been very vocal with BJ about caring more about self than others. And you get to here it here. This was a great episode, and I'm excited to share it with you. I hope you enjoy this brotherly converse between two of the most loving men you may know...except Danny is a little bit different. And BJ is playing catch up. Tune In and tell me what you think!!!!

Welcome to a New Year...A New Decade...and a New Episode of Change The Subject. Congratulations to you for surviving the tests of 2019, as you walk into your purposes and visions of 2020. BJ is back with a brief episode to say "Waddup Doe" , as well as recap the biggest lesson he received in 2019. With the many blessings that came through this year, came some accountability lessons that arose with last year's glory moments. The lesson was discussed briefly here in this new EP. BJ talks about a few cliches that means a totally different thing in 2020. The year has bought a new perspective to things we don't necessarily realize that we say against our very purpose or vision. There are three that we talked about, before BJ discusses the two biggest pointers he has going into the new year.We have a very healthy, yet small portioned dialogue that will detail what the listeners will look forward to from Change The Subject. Tune in and let me know your thoughts. As always, BJ strives to hold meaningful conversations that will empower the people listening. Hopefully, you will be energized to "go get your things" this year, despite what conditions you are starting in. Just know you are able and willing...and very much capable. Its just the narratives that need to change. So, here is a new one to start with. Happy New Narrative 2020!! Toast to your New Year and New You that will kick ass in 2020!!!!

Lesson 7 of Teach Me How To Love You Better is here ladies and gentlemen! We have a very special lesson, and guest, to discuss a very important topic that you hear women speak on every day in their social lives and gossip columns. We have Mrs. Monroe Bishop of the T with Monroe Podcast here with us to discuss INTENTION. Intention has been the most used word among our women. And is often mentioned in debates between the sexes about what men lack. Monroe had a very interesting perspective to this conversation. And interesting enough, intention has something for men and women to play a part of. We discussed how intention doesn't just mean what you intend to do for another person. It has more to do with what your standards, morals, and character embody. How you will conduct yourself, despite your interests. It's more internal than most believe. She laid down quite a few ways she see the intentional behaviors of today's couples or daters. And from her views, she is not impressed with the men, or the women. So she gave a constructive criticism on her views of intentions, marriage, and dealing with broken people. Monroe and BJ had a great conversation that I'm sure you will enjoy. She talks from a very real place. And even shared personal accounts of how she met, dated, and almost divorced her husband Larry....who is also her co host of the T with Monroe Podcast. Tune in as she tells her story of how intentions actually saved her marriage!!

BJ is very excited to welcome you to Episode 21; that we are going to call “The Legal Age Episode”....and for some reason, that title is somewhat befitting. Considering we are discussing the concept of being grown. Growth is paramount in certain areas of life...and today’s guest is a prime example of growth. Today’s guest has completely leveled up and also embraced several different sides of self confidence and esteem. And I brought her on to discuss this reinvigorated personality she is taking on. Our guest is none other than ImJustJackie, webcast co host and content creator. She stopped through for a quick conversation about her new endeavors. Telling us how she made her mind up to spread wings and soar to new levels in her life. With a webcast, YouTube blog, event hosting, and a accounting business to run...Jackie has been focused on becoming a better Jackie. And has also revealed that she can clearly see where she has gone wrong, in certain situations with things and people. We talked about her personality, controversial sense of humor, and childhood upbringing. We also discussed how certain things from earlier on in life is the catalyst for a lot of what you know from the Old Jackie....whatever that means to those who know her. Lastly, how accountability and therapy has played a role in this completely new woman. Even as a friend, I was extremely impressed and excited to see how much of a difference a few weeks can make. I literally just seen her a few weeks before we recorded this episode...and in that short span of time, I see a positive difference in her happening daily. Tune in as she discusses her life in detail, with honesty and transparency. She left a few gems in here for those who are also trying to level up. Tune in to Ms. Understood featuring ImJustJackie of Let’s Keep It 100 webcast...hope you enjoy!!!!

Welcome Ladies and Gentleman to Lesson 6 of Teach Me How To Love You Better. This is a very great lesson that discusses a sensitive subject that most women struggle with in silence. The uncertainty of attraction and desire can be very disheartening and depressing. And knowing this, BJ decided to find someone who understands the struggle, and can explain the details of this issue with dignity and respect.I was honored to have this conversation, titled Fetishes, with none other than Bad Ass Jones...former co host of Love, Lust and Bad Ass Soul Podcast. She has curated a new venture, called The Pum Pum Chronicles, that deals with the edgy subjects of sex, kinks, culture, education, and feminism. She brought all of those things with her. And with those things, came a phenomenal conversation about the women of size who are mistreated and misused in disgusting ways.Tune in as we discuss the imbalances and inequality of most relationships, the lack of male communication and transparency...as well as the detriment of fetishizing and shaming of women of size. How labeling can create insecurities. The types of men who are secretly attracted to these women, and how they reveal their true intentions and character by how they treat these women. It was very enlightening and detailed. AJ held no punches, and told us how important it is to treat our women like ladies, despite their differences. This was a much needed conversation. We can all learn a thing or two from this lesson!

Welcome back to Teach Me How To Love You Better. We are here with a very exciting lesson, and guest. Today's Lesson, which is Lesson 5, is titled Lead. We held this conversation with none other than Cherry Poppins, of The Officially Street Podcast, that she Co Hosts with alongside Syer and JayOmega. Cherry brought perspective to what it's been like for most women who date men today: and their lack of fluid communication.Despite the conversation being mostly centered around Communicating, LEAD was the most powerful word in the conversation (for it not to be the initial focal point). The conversation started with Cherry Poppins describing the process that is required when taking her on a date. She detailed how forthcoming you would have to be, in order to get from behind the phone to the dinner table. But simply having conversation is not good enough. She wants to see your effort, consistency, and intention. You have to make her want to go on a date with you. Despite the fact that may be exactly what you are talking about doing. She follows your LEAD, which is how the show titled became what it was. Based on how you LEAD off, is how she responds. In any way, shape, or form.Following a man"s lead has been a lost art to some, and Cherry truly believes it matters. And from this conversation, it clearly shows that leadership is what it takes to win her. And she doesn't care if you aren't up for the challenge. She is confident that somebody will be. But her tolerance and esteem will not change. We had an amazing conversation that i believe will help men and women of all ages. Tune in to Lesson 5 of Teach Me How To Love You Better!!!

We are here to present a new episode of Change The Subject, for all of your listening pleasures. And its a goodie. Today's episode, which is episode 20, is titled "Cute Girl With The Big Butt". Our special guest is none other than Avery, also known as PeopleTalkDaily of SoleOfAHustla Podcast. My big sister finally showed up to catch up with everybody, since her low profile move into grand-motherhood. She stopped through for a catch up, some laughs, and some great conversation. And oddly enough, the conversation talks about her BOOTY!!Even though her butt is the subject, the conversation is not derogatory or disrespectful. It talks about the appeal of a woman's body shape, and the attention it draws. We talk about her relationship with BJ, and how even HE has benefit from Avery's butt a time or two (it's weird hearing this right?...But you have to listen to understand!)...and how men willingly receive her for her butt, with no expectation of her brains and big heart to match. I swear when you dig into the conversation...you will further understand the importance of why Avery's butt is the topic of conversation. We discussed how she feels about being a shapely women, and if she even likes having a big butt...along with the attention that comes with it. We even discussed dirty butts a bit as well. Once you press play, I'm sure men and women will see how they make an ass of themselves by judging a book, or BUTT, by its cover. PRESS PLAY!!!!!

You have just tuned into episode 19 of one of your favorite podcasts...Change The Subject. We return with a treat for those who are a part of Indy podcast culture. This episode's guest is a well known, yet very controversial guest known as "Liberian Bae".... We have Subrena, formerly of Good Morning Beautiful Podcast on Change The Subject. And BOY is BJ excited!!BJ was able to catch up with Bre on air, after the last time they seen each other in Las Vegas. After a very brief conversation from that time that BJ carried with him ever since..crafted an episode that discusses forgiveness and redemption of the male gender. Bre was known, at a time, to speak her truths about her distaste for men. AND WAS RELENTLESS. BJ being the optimistic type, always felt like there was a story behind it...and Indeed there was. As we fast forward to 2019, BJ was shocked to find that her views have drastically changed. And luckily, we discussed it all on this episode.In this episode, we were able to see into Bre's development....as a child from Liberia, at a tragic time of civil war. She talks about her visual experiences dealing with men growing up as a child....then the transition in dealing with men in America once her mom moved her to the US. This isn't a typical story of heartbreak. She's seen things, and they have molded her into a very firm protector of herself. She talks about how she dates, feels, and forgives in terms of men. How she was able to identify her own judgements as a woman. And lastly, what steps women should consider to see a bright side in the potentials of men. This isn't the Bre you remembered, if you were ever familiar. She is stronger, wiser, confident, and daring. She was very transparent about her experiences. And even if you don't completely agree, you can identify with the honesty of what she speaks. This was a very great conversation that was overdue for Bre and BJ. Tune in to Episode 19: Never Forget...(But At Some Point) Let It Go!!!

We are here with a bonus episode of Teach Me How To Love You Better! Today's teacher is none other than Queen Poiison, a self published author and poet. She and I go a ways back. But we have also seen each other grow. So it has been a while since we have connected on audio. So, BJ took advantage of the opportunity that they were both in New York...to sit her down to discuss gender inequalities, in terms of communication. She brought an interesting point to the conversation that no one ever tends to consider in this communication debate."Can we COMPREHEND whats being communicated to us" ???We then begin to break down the various ways misinterpretation contributes to failed communication. We discuss techniques to help both men and women in comprehension. We even discuss how a wellness check benefits communication between men and women. This is a conversation that is loaded with so much jewelry, that I'm just gonna suggest you PRESS PRAY. Otherwise, this description would be an essay. This hour long conversation is packed with good conversation, and forward thinking communicative ideals. You will enjoy this!!!

Today is a very special episode of Change The Subject! Five days before her highly anticipated 1 Year Anniversary Live Show of her amazing podcast, The I SAID NO! Podcast....we are blessed to hold a conversation with an exceptional content creator and well respected life coach we know as Stefanie, The Life Architect. She has set a new milestone for BJ in his podcast career, as well as his personal life. And it takes place in this episode that we are now sharing with you!This episode is titled Where Two or Three Are Gathered...which derives from the scripture Matthew 18:20 in the Bible. Those of us who grew up in the church are very familiar with this scripture, and its intentions. But in this conversation, it was used on BJ in a very manipulative manner. It raised an eyebrow, rage and questions within BJ, and ultimately led to isolation, disconnect, and feelings of grief in terms of his family life. But fortunately for BJ, he has been able to build some very strong, resourceful relationships along the way...one of which is Stefanie. She completely unraveled and tore apart this dysfunction with so many hay maker power points, perspectives, and spiritual knowledge. This conversation is relative to many of us who deal with family and church hurt, manipulation, and trauma bondage. And prayerfully after hearing this, your perspectives will completely change...and will encourage you to deal with the bondage of your own life.In this conversation, Stefanie and I discussed:Trauma Bondage, Causes, and EffectsChanging The Terminology of Feelings That Traumatically Bind You With Toxic PeopleEmotional HomelessnessCommon Enemy IntimacyLabeling and AcceptanceThere were so many great talk points that we were able to discuss in this conversation. To those of you who are struggling with relationships of any kind, this is an excellent conversation to begin your emotional renovation process. Stefanie equipped the listeners with amazing emotional strategy and spiritual base to build your foundation on. I can't say enough about this show. Give it a listen, and tell us what you think! And if you listen to the very end...you will hear Stefanie ask " Is that It???"....expecting more from the conversation, based on what we originally discussed before we started recording. Reason being is because BJ forgot a huge portion of the conversation, from simply being floored by her wisdom. So be on the lookout for a Part 2!!! But for now, enjoy Where Two or Three Are Gathered! This is great content that everyone will enjoy!!!

Lesson 4 features Christian Brianna of Dem Chakras Podcast. We talk about shadow work!!!

Welcome back ladies and gents! We are here with Episode 17 of Change The Subject. And it's a good episode. Today we have returned with Dog Training. This is an episode that deals with the ideals of how men actually become dogs, in terms of how they treat women. You will be shocked to find out that most dogs are how they are due to their owners....well in this case, who takes ownership.I shared this conversation with a well respected podcaster named Jones (aka. Cookie Monster Jones) of Stakes Is High Podcast. We discussed accountability and sensistivity in our men. And also discussed the impact of the owner, in terms of the dog. You will find that there is a complete difference in the dog depending on if the dog is in the care of a man or woman. We broke down how and why....We used the word Dog metaphorically in many ways. We discussed your DAWG, which means your homie...and how in some cases you have to treat him like he's significant...because remember: A DAWG is a man's best friend. So he needs your care, wisdom, companionship, and sensitivity...just like your childhood pet you were responsible for growing up. We also talk about the DOG, the animal women equate a man to be. And how we see more women in love with dogs more and more every day...until its time to clean up the shit! We talk about how effective women can be in training and even creating the very dogs they dislike. This conversation was very in depth, personal, and even therapeutic to share with another brother who has been through this struggle. Jones was very transparent about being the dog that shitted just about everywhere. Even admits to being a stray dog. You will hear why in this episode. Tune into a great conversation with two men who admit their faults and make the attempt to save men from themselves and their traumatic experiences. Dogs are trained in most cases by cruel masters or circumstances. Its time we find out who is responsible for the dogs we often experience. Tune In NOW!!!!

Abuse By Neiko

Welcome Back listeners. I am so excited to share this new episode. This has so many highlights. One of which is the returning guest. My brother CEO Haize joins me to discuss a very traumatic stage of events that a man experiences…just as he decides he’s ready for love.This conversation piece is called The Mid Love Crisis. Yes…that’s exactly what it is. A Crisis. It’s when a man finally decides to level up and prepare for commitment. And just as he does this, everything that can possibly go wrong goes wrong….BJ and Haize combs through this process, and draw some insightful cues and strong points for men who are going through this process. It starts with dealing with our preferences. How are preferences as young men do set the proper standards in our adulthood. It’s just what we like at that age. Then we discuss our animalistic side, and how it allows us to confuse our intent, taste and attractions to being in love. From there, we discuss the laws of attraction, and how it doesn’t always work well with what we’ve been comfortable with….sometimes a Godsend is just that...who God sent, and not who you usually would go after. Men should know how to identify this when it arrives in life.We also talk damage control, and how men don’t prepare for karma when it decides its time to show up. We discuss the importance of cutting, and sealing the ties between you and the mother of your child. The importance of co parenting construction before entering a new relationship.We overall had a grown man conversation. If you heard our first conversation on Change The Subject titled “Put Her Second Sometimes”, then you know what’s to be expected from The B.R.E.A.K.S. Boys!!! You will thoroughly enjoy this conversation. Push the Play Button!!!!

Welcome to Lesson 3 of Teach Me How To Love You Better. This lesson is about Expansion. This gives men perspective on what is needed from them in the event that they encounter an independent woman. There are ways men can be very effective in love without being providers, protectors, and provision makers. There is room for men becoming something other than they have grown accustomed to be used for.This lesson was administered by Autumn Woodland, and old podcast friend who has just come into a sense of independence of her own in recent times. Just becoming a brand new homeowner, she has grown accustomed to providing and taking care of herself...but lately has found her sense of independence has appeared threatening to the men she comes across. So we discussed this, and so many other things.We talk about the idea behind needing someone. How we communicate our responsibilities for one another differently. We talked about how better communication is needed much more than being taken care of...because oftentimes both men and women are very capable to take care of someone else...but rarely know how to properly take care of themselves correctly. And lastly, realizing that gender roles can box you in...and actually destroy your concepts of how you care for someone. We as men and women learn that women don't always need men for their typical expectations women place on them. There is a dire need for things much more intimate and personal. so Autumn insists that you find unique ways to add value to a person who is equipped with potentially everything you may have to offer. A new way of saying "Step Your Game Up"!!!!

Thank you for tuning in...welcome back to a brand new episode of Change The Subject. Here we have episode 15, which is titled Sophisticated Hatred, which deals with masked emotions and resentments for people who have begun to elevate in life. Most times in life you will experience growth among you...whether it be friends or family. We are almost never taught how to respond to applauding and supporting our circle, without paying attention too much, in terms of our own shortcomings.So, I invited someone on the show that i respect by the name of Flaw700 (of the Podcast Brothers) to chop it up on the sophistication of how much resentment lies inside of opinions, feelings and resentment towards our loved ones growth. I really enjoyed Flaw"s perspective as someone who has experienced quite a bit of sophisticated hatred in his day. Whereas BJ is just now beginning to see things arising within his space and circle. Flaw placed value on having certain morals and insights to prevent you from succumbing to unwarranted advice and discrimination.We spoke on several talk points. We spoke on entitlement. Flaw gave us examples of how his solo podcast was named after his neighborhood. And because his circle comes from that same place, they felt that he should share his creation with the clique. Not realizing they don't even contribute to the mission and purpose of the podcast. Which also happens in life as well. Sharing with people who never position themselves to earn anything. We talk accountability, family ties, dead lifting...and the infamous law among brothers "Am I My Brothers Keeper?" So many great talk points are here within episode 15. I hope you enjoy this episode. It is pretty damn good!!!

Ladies and Gentleman...Thank you for tuning into this amazing experience called Teach Me How To Love You Better! Today we are here with Lesson 2. And to give a fair warning...men definitely need pencils/pens and paper for this one. This conversation picked up where the last lesson left off. And it's HEAVY. I hope men and women are ready.Today's lesson is given to us by none other than Christal Clear, one of the elite women of color and podcasting. She has such amazing insight, profound wisdom, and the ability to see things very clear (hence the name of her podcast lol)...She provided the listeners a small compass for men to follow, in terms of giving women something that they so rightfully deserve....SUPPORT.Christal tackled support from such unorthodox angles, She encouraged men to take the backseat to and show your passenger capabilities while she steers towards her goals. She encourages words of encouragement and affirmation. She even convinces BJ that men could even afford to use their 5 senses completely different in terms of women. This was an amazing experience that BJ is sharing with the listener. Sit back and take in all of what Christal has to offer. Men and Women can benefit from this. Welcome to Lesson 2 of Teach Me How To Love You Better!!!!

We have arrived at Episode 14 of Change The Subject people! Today's conversation is called The Top Floor. Metaphorically based upon the uprising that takes place in your goals and accomplishments. The conversation deals a lot with accountability, responsibility, and awareness for yourself, and those around you. BJ put together a conversation about his current creative interest in podcasting, to influence other creatives to strategically find ways to evelate and excel in their respective creative regards.The guest on today's episode is none other than the good brother Jae of JustSayWords Podcast. He has been a great comrad, from the very start of BJ's podcasting tenure. But in that time, we rarely spoke directly to each other, despite how many movements we were both respectfully making...that emulated each other. So after our first formal face to face in New York last year, we both decided to align ourselves with each other. And since, we've been speaking ever since.This was the first of many conversations we have had. We talked about our current endeavors. We both have decided to create networks that will serve as vehicles to support others, and their creative dreams. But with this, comes very hard work, emotional struggle, and notions to even quit. But, because BJ and Jae have been through so many ups and downs...we share honest wisdoms and mistakes to help any kind of creative along the way.Jae talks about the Pod Dealers Network...how it started. Who is all involved. How he manages the many hats he wears within his network. How he even had to address the insecurity of properly addressing himself for something he was responsible for creating. BJ discusses how he seldom belief of anti social dysfunctions makes him unqualified to be a leader...but Jae reveals why him being self aware makes him the perfect candidate. We talk being "The Higher Ups" in our realm of creativity. How those that "Enjoy the View" of leadership sometimes have no clue what it takes. We talk about when "Something Goes Wrong", and how that effects the creative. We speak on Amenities, and what a leader would need in order to continue doing the work of the people. We had such a valuable conversation for those who see something in themselves, but just need the kind of encouragement to see those things through. Tune in as BJ and Jae share their knowledge, missteps, and lessons that help them get to The Top Floor in their creativity!!!

Welcome to the very first installment of Teach Me How To Love You Better. This is a segment presented by Dergobj and Change The Subject. The purpose of this is to create a safe space for women to keep it real with men. But the beauty of this is that men are NOT being argumentative in this space. We are actually here to listen, encourage, and support our queens in a conducive way. And in turn, we learn something about the women we intend to love. Our first host is a queen by the name of Erica Butler. She has branded herself and a movement called The Brown Girl Experience. This woman is an incredible mind who shared so many things about herself, her sisters, and the honorable men she has encountered in life. We spoke on so many subjects...like her experiences with having a chronic illness called Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS). She talked dating men with a chronic illness, and how it effects her relationships with men. And then...we got into her constructive criticisms of men. Luckily for men...it wasn't as harsh as we thought. The focal point of Erica's views were centered around Identity. How men tend to place margins on women with various excuses and tactics that actually have nothing to do with them. She even addresses things that women do to women, in terms of identity. The conversation was very healthy and informative...and Erica does an exceptional job at getting her points across without making men or women feel uncomfortable or persecuted (which she also talked about as well)... There are so many great points in this hour long installment. I truly hope that the people enjoy this....and that this is a step in the right direction for reconnecting and communication between men and women. Without further ado...here is Lesson 1: Identity by Erica Butler "The Brown Girl"

Welcome Back to Change The Subject. Today we have a bonus episode, that was recorded back in March of 2019. It was a conversation that I would like to title Body Accounts. It’s a dialogue about the various phases a person goes through when its time to make health decisions for themselves. There are so many factors that play a part in what you do with your body.My guest on this episode is none other than my baby sister TaKenyah, who is a very loud and bold voice for people who struggle with being black, marginalized, overweight….and a host of other things. She was very transparent about the trials of transitioning from recently graduating college….no longer room mating….to now living on your own. The idea of being alone with your responsibilities and struggles will definitely throw you off. She talks about the mental health of this time, and how it effected her health and dieting choices. And then we both realized something…black health matters just as much to these black lives we live. But look how we've been conditioned…We started with dating. How we use food to romanticize our significant others. From what we've been told, the way to a man's heart is through his stomach right? Or when she gets cranky, just give her something to eat should fix her attitude right? These are ideals people of color live by. Which can be detrimental.We talked family tradions, stigmas, social settings, and a bunch of other things. We spoke on MCM and WCW as well. How you think sexy equates healthy. Also, how we can also use this very same people we admire to marginalize others. There was so many different ways we took this conversation. I cant even fit it all in this description. This conversation was loaded.We also talked about how men are also body shamed and seasonal for people who like to romanticize men for certain occasions. Talks began to form of how that effects a man, within himself and his homies. You will surprised at how many accounts you have with people trying to control or dictate to you how you should look and feel. We wanted to bring it to your attention with this conversation.This was a great dialogue to listen to, even though it is a few months old. Listen and tell me what you think. Another episode will be following this one….tune in before the new show drops. Remember to leave a rating and comment on Apple Podcast. All of your support has been greatly appreciated. Tune into TaKenyah and I talk about what its like to be black, fat, and from Detroit!

Episode 13 is out and available for listening pleasures. This episode is called Cut Her Hair...But Not Her Nigga. The title is a reference to how men tend to believe that they have authority and dictatorship over women of color, in terms of their hair. And believe it or not, this is not the only space a woman exists in where she is being told how to wear her hair. So BJ decided to educate himself, and others, on how to treat our women in this struggle with consideration, empathy, and education to their struggle.This episode features a beautiful queen by the name of Klashae of Duolystic Podcast. She has also started a solo endeavor, called Diary of An Afro Latina Podcast, where she discusses and experiences of both African American and Latina women. One of these issues is the issue we are discussing today. We talked about her growing up in both a black and latina environment. How the cultures view her hair growing up. She told us how her heart was connected to her Black Family immediately...but in researching her latina roots...she developed a sense of pride in her other side. And once she done that, she discovered a sense of responsibility to her own daughter, that she is raising with self worth, pride in her heritage, and of course, her hair.We talk about upbringing as well. Discussing school and church as children growing up. How we were DEEP CONDITIONED to believe that we needed to have our hair straightened in order to fit in. We talked about Easter Sunday, and how systemic it was to our black girls groing up to believe that straight hair was (as the church states) "decent and in order"...We talked about PROTECTIVE STYLING as well. How we would wear certain hairstyles just to fit into a demographic who we felt set the standard. This conversation is loaded with so much information concerning what we donned the "Hair ISM" struggle. Listen as we discuss some of the key issues in hair politics for women of color. I really enjoyed this conversation, the guest, and the overall message that this sends to men. Our women have issues we will never understand. So, before you go and make an unwarranted comment or suggestion about her hair...make sure you aren't the reason her hair is falling out first. Black hair deserves to be healthy and stress free...just like our women. Listen to Cut Her Hair...But Not Her Nigga!!!