Gotta Love Family Podcast

A couple of weeks ago, I introduced 'learning play' in an article called Learning Play - Cows. It tells how valuable immersive learning is for all ages and helps you begin by learning about cows. Join me today as I share what we did to immerse ourselves in the world of the circus and the tremendous fun we had learning all about clowns, circus food, how to walk a tightrope, and how to juggle. I am sure it will help you decide to have a family activity that will be rewardingly fun and help build wonderful memories. 

This week, as I walked with my friends Livia and Alysia, the conversation turned to their teens and the issues surrounding accomplishing things at home. At one point, Livia mentioned the need for successful systems. I told them how interesting the conversation was because I was working on my article for today, and it was about creating systems that work. Life can be so serendipitous. : ) When I began speaking and teaching, I met a woman who became a friend and mentor, Kim Flynn. She was a systems specialist and helped me and other women find time to build businesses and successfully raise a family by using simple and workable systems. At the time, Kim had owned five successful businesses while raising her family.  I spent plenty of time in Kim's home and with her children. I saw firsthand how well she did the very thing she taught others to do. During the time spent in Kim's home, I noticed that she not only had simple and successful systems, but she had gotten her family to enroll in the systems and, for the most part, they used them successfully. I took notes. Join me and I will share them with you.

When I first began writing and publishing articles, it was in 2010. My grands, the ones I still live with, were all under five. As their grandma, I wanted to find ways to play and connect. I'm not a board game person! Tea parties and dress up are not on my list of fun things! The truth is, I like learning. I always have. I thought a lot about how I could ‘play' with my grands and make it work for all of us. What I came up with was learning for fun.  I've been moving articles from my old site to this new home for nine years, come May 2025. Why has it taken so long? Well, I always have new experiences and lessons to share. And I had over 600 articles on the old site. That's a lot of rewriting. : )  There are still fun things on that old site, especially when it comes to learning with kids and making it fun. So, over the summer, I'm going to share many of the cool lessons I taught my grands and the tools I used to do it. LET'S BEGIN WITH COWS  

Your love of learning and growing is a legacy you leave for your children. But how can you find the time to read, study, or write while raising a family? It can be a challenge, but I know it can be done becuase I am doing it now, amid the chaos of a four-generation home, caregiving, and a busy life. This is something we can all do. Join me as I share an example of the importance of giving your children an example of learning and growth. This can be done by anyone, no matter your circumstances. Let me show you how!

I've written many articles on the importance of making sure the story we tell ourselves is helpful to our sense of well-being, relationships, and happiness. How we perceive something matters. Last week I shared one of two experiences that cemented what I have learned in over a decade and a half of taking control of how I 'see' what is happening in my life. Today I share the second. As with the first, it is powerful.

I've written many articles on the importance of making sure the story we tell ourselves is helpful to our sense of well-being, healthy relationships, and happiness. How we perceive something matters. Recently, I had two experiences that cemented what I have learned in over a decade and a half of taking control of how I ‘see' what is happening in my life, both in the past and present. I'm sharing one experience today and the other next week. They are powerful. There is a common belief in the minds of the public that stress, from any situation that is ongoing, is toxic. Stress has been blamed for catching the common cold to creating cardiovascular problems. Join me today as I debunk this myth and share another example illustrating how powerful what we believe can be in giving us our life results. This will blow your mind!!!

I have learned from lived experience that simple systems are usually the solution to difficult problems in time and life management. This was not an easy lesson to learn. In fact, understanding what a system looked like took some time. Join me as I help you understand what a simple system looks like and how it can be life-changing in your life and family.

When I was sixty-two, I emailed a very successful, well-known woman and asked her to help me with something in my business. It was as intimidating to me as writing the queen. She responded, shocked that I would think enough of her to ask. Imagine! We shared our hopes, dreams, struggles, and some of our fears. Here's what I discovered: She is me, and I am her. We are more alike than we are different. I think that's true of all of us. We worry that what is coming won't live up to our expectations, that we won't live up to our expectations. Wouldn't it be wonderful to know, for sure, that despite how now looks and feels, you are going to be OK? Wouldn't it be nice? The desire to know we are not losers and are OK is inside each of us. Join me as we look into the movie The Kid and explore how we can know we are OK. 

In 2011, I took a class on body language because I had begun speaking from stage and knew it would be helpful. Then, the company offered a class taught by one of their trainers, Amy Walker, on how body language can assist you in understanding your kids and avoiding conflict. I loved the class and gained much from it. Since I was working with families and children, I asked Amy if she would write an article on what she had taught the mothers and fathers in her class. She did. I love the information, which has proven useful. Today, I am resharing this amazingly eye-opening information. I know you will find value here. You will either say, “Wow, good for me. I already know that,” or “Gosh, I didn't realize that.” In either case, it will jumpstart your mind, and you will look at how you respond to your children with renewed or new eyes. Enjoy.

My husband was watching the show The Irrational. It's about a behavioral science professor who solves tough police cases. I was in the kitchen and could hear it. The main character had an appendix surgery. He tried to rise from his bed a few times because there was a case he wanted to get going on. His sister had to nag at him to remain in bed and heal. At one point the professor spoke with a priest, while still in the hospital. The priest said, “St. Stillness has visited you." Then he smiled and the professor replied, “Oh, stillness. I'm not very good at it.” This intrigued me because one of my favorite scriptures is “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10, from the Christian Bible. However, I, like the professor, must work to be still. Join me as we explore how stillness is connected to rest and rejuvenation and how you, as a busy person, can have more rest in your life.

I received this email from a friend: “I recently watched the podcast Follow Him with Hank Smith and John Bytheway…. Their guest presenter…was Dr. Matt Townsend, who is a therapist. Many of the things he was saying reminded me of you and what you have shared about being present and communicating.” I wasn't familiar with Dr. Townsend or the podcast, but I took the time to listen because I love Susan and know she cares about me. I'm no scholar so it was heartwarming and edifying to see how close I have come to what scholars have learned. I learned from hard experience and the tutoring of God, rather than in school. I was also privileged to work with a few hundred families and saw firsthand what I had learned as a mother. It's amazing what I have gotten right based on what Dr. Townsend shared. He used a word I was unfamiliar with but found worth sharing – attunement. Join me today as we explore what the word Attunement means and how it can be helpful in connecting with our children.

This is my birthday article. : ) I turn seventy-five today, February 9th. This article was suggested by a dear friend and is, frankly, very vulnerable. I have pondered whether to publish it or not, whether it would be of value to anyone. However, it's my birthday, and I can do what I want, right; even if it may be somewhat risky.

In 2012, because of an experience, I decided to be more open to receiving help from others. Trust me when I say my progress has been slow! I've always prided myself on my independence, ingenuity, and ability to do whatever needs to be done. I have always felt confident in “doing it myself.” However, it's a challenge to do everything by yourself, all the time, and you miss out on the other side of the coin, the value that comes from receiving. I've had to learn this the hard way. My inspiration to work on allowing others to share in my burdens came because of two people in my life that I loved, both with significant special needs. One was my unofficially adopted daughter, Michelle, in her thirties, and my granddaughter, Maggie. They both had cerebral palsy.  Join me as I share their story and how it has affected me when it comes to serving and receiving. Your heart will be moved!

My friend Livia read a book about Neal A. Maxwell. In the book, they used the phrase 'peaceful intensity' to describe how he managed his busy life. It's a way of being that can be cultivated. It involves how we perceive what is happening in the moment. Maxwell said you can be busy but still function from a place of peace. As Livia and I talked I wondered, “How can those two words even go together?” I was intrigued by the idea and this unique phrase. This is becuase I've been experiencing this place of busy peace in the last few years. It happens when I have this thought, STOP and TURN. In other words, shift how you see what is happening. When I listen and follow the thought I manage better. Even if the pace doesn't slow down, my heart does. Imagine how life would be if this was our way of being most of the time. Join me as I share what I have learned about living a life of peaceful intensity. I share two real-life experiences that will leave you wanting to know more. 

This week's article was written by an online friend of mine, Laura Pearson, who shared it with me via email. When I read her article, I realized that my daughter Jodie has incorporated many of these tips into her home and family life. They've been useful to my grands. Although they are all teens now, they have been using tools like these since they were in grade school. These tips will assist parents using regular school options, as well as those who homeschool. In both cases we want our children to be able to love and feel comfortable learning. Take a look, there may be resources you have missed that would help your children. You may also expand those resources you currently use.

I've thought about how I want this year to feel, what I want to accomplish, and how I want to be. I read and reread my daily commitments (affirmations). I pondered what changes I should make. Was there anything I needed to add? The last two years have been challenging, as I have aged. It has been stretching and I've had to work to keep a positive attitude about building my life while fulfilling my mission of caring for my family. Here is the truth - you don't stop building a life because you grow older or get busy; you stop building a life when you stop doing the things required to build a life. I didn't want to go to that place. Hence, all the pondering and prayer. I could live another thirty years and I must decide what that will look like, as far as I can control. We can't control all circumstances, but we can control our response to everything. Join me as I share some pivotal information that has helped me make a plan for 2025. They can help you do the same. 

In 2011 I wrote a three-part series of articles about a principle that helps families manage better. I must confess it's a principle I still work on because it isn't easy to keep. I know the stories and the principle are worth repeating because principles never change and when lived, they impact us for good. I'm compiling the three-part series into one article. That will keep it simple for you. LOL Join me as I share how making the intentional decision To Keep It Simple, helped us get what we needed and gave our family what they needed. It was a remarkable season. The sense of peace and joy came from doing less and not from doing it all. Our intentional efforts paid dividends and can do the same for your family. 

Parenting is a place to learn to grow as a person. Seriously. : ) Even now, when I'm caregiving, rather than parenting, I experience examples of this type of growth. It always takes me off guard because I would like to think that in almost 75 years, I had gotten this growth thing handled. Silly, because learning and personal growth are a lifetime endeavor. Today I am being vulnerable and sharing one of these growth moments. I hope it brings a smile to your face and puts you in a thoughtful position about how you teach and communicate with your children. Join me as I share the importance of allowing ourselves to learn without berating ourselves and that when we do - when we error we can also restore.  

Recently, I read an entry from Feb. 2023 that contained information I thought would be useful to some of you. It isn't new. I've written on, the power of story, the importance of perspective, and the value of controlling our thoughts often. But when you attach powerful ideas to an event, they become more relatable and easier to institute into one's life. In February 2023, I was taking an Emotional Resilience class. At the same time, I was endeavoring to come to terms with time because my story wasn't helpful and I knew it. Coming to terms with time is something I have been working on for years and I bet some of you are in that boat with me. After class, at home, I reread the lesson. As I did, I had major insights. I knew they would help me with my negative story about time and I would move closer to becoming friends with time. The lesson in my Emotional Resilience class was ‘Managing Stress and Anxiety'. The foundation principle was – Use time wisely. This lesson was for me! LOL Join me today as I share portions of that Feb. 2023 journal entry and the crux of becoming friends with time. : ) 

In October I asked myself this question - “How can I strengthen my relationship with each grandchild and great-grandchild despite age, technology, or distance.” There are impediments of time, finances, the ability to travel, different lifestyles, and beliefs, kids who are adults or teens, and technology, which often gets in the way of real connection. Recently a friend mentioned that her son, Curtis, said - “When you only send cards and not letters, I can't reread them.” What, this from a grown man who uses all the available tech? He wants letters from his mom so he can reread them! How can we let the people we love most know they are thought about, loved, and cared for even if they are miles away? How can we consistently say, you are in my thoughts, you matter to me? Join me as I share what I have done in the past, plan to implement now, and what I am returning to. It will help you answer this important question for yourself.

Let's pick up where we left off last week. I shared a cookie-baking experience I had with some neighbor children, who were my buddies. Today, I share the second baking experience, one I had with two of my grandchildren. Watch for the connections as we explore how to determine a successful activity. You are going to love Story 2, my second baking experience with kids and you will love how both stories illustrate what makes a successful activity.

In the article published on Oct. 13, I told you I LOVE using sparks and that in the coming months, I would share experiences I have had with them that can Spark you with bonding activities for your family. As promised, here is a spark I followed with two groups of children. However, I want you to notice something else as important as following a spark or igniting one. Often, we let our expectations get in the way of learning and fun. As I said in my book, Becoming A Present Parent, “Keep expectations from getting in the way of enjoying your family…Keep the perfect from becoming the enemy of the good. The point is not what you teach, or how well it looks, but being together while you're Present.” Because of the length of each story, this week I will share Story 1, and next week I will share Story 2 and tie them together for you - how can you tell if an activity is successful? : ) 

Thirteen years ago, I had a wonderful evening with my eight-year-old friend, Hailey. It was successful because time had been set apart for the activity, it happened consistently so Hailey could count on it, and I was present. When we want to solidify relationships in our family these three ingredients make all the difference. I was 61 when I had this experience. Hailey was eight. Join me as I share an experience that illustrates how important structured family activities, held consistently, and with you present, both body and spirit will be for your relationships. These elements, when inserted with intention into your family, can and will make all the difference in your family relationships. 

Two weeks ago, I shared a few examples of how useful and fun seeing and responding to your children's Sparks can be. I explained sparks and how they can help you and your kids connect. Last week I illustrated how you can Spark your kids and give them interesting and fun opportunities for learning. This week is more of the same. : ) I have written about sparks, kids, and the connection between the two for almost fifteen years. I've watched for and used sparks with my grands all that time. When I switched from the homeschool community to the broader parenting community, I didn't share this information as often. However, I LOVE using sparks and in the coming weeks, I will share more because the better you are at seeing your kids sparks and sparking them, the more fun, learning, and connection you will have in your home. It's important to remember that what we think of as play can be, and is, learning for children and sometimes teens. : ) Last week I talked about doing a treasure hunt of my home and shared two activities we did from what I found in my kitchen. Today's ideas are also from that kitchen list. One thing we don't do enough is play as a family. As you learn to utilize Sparks they will help you create family fun. So listen up and then have some fun.

Last episode I shared a few examples of how useful and fun seeing and responding to your children's Sparks can be. But to engage our kids and help them learn new things we don't need to wait for their Sparks. When it comes to learning, we can spark them and then watch a fire of interest take hold. It's a fine way to engage as a family and to show our children that learning can be fun. Join me as I share how to treasure hunt your home so you can give your children experiences that teach them that learning doesn't need to be boring but can happen in fun and exciting ways, anywhere. This is useful for children to experience and internalize so they won't become stagnant in their desire to learn as they become busy adults.

My hairdresser, Emily, works out of her home. Most of the kids are in school but she has one little guy who is four and still at home during the day. We have fun conversations. The last time I was there he brought me two green balloons which he held close together in his hands. He asked me if I knew what they were. I said, “Sure, they're green balloons.” He laughed and replied, “No they are butt cheeks.” His mom was a bit mortified, but I grinned and told her about a friend of mine and her experience with the whole poop, snot, blood, and butt cheeks thing. Join me as I share this story and two others that will help you know what your kids are interested in right now and then use that knowledge to bond your family, build your relationships, and have a great time with your kids. 

When I lived in Montana with seven children, I was a busy mother. You're smiling because you know exactly what I mean. A family, regardless of its size, is a handful; lots of cooking, laundry, cleaning, driving people here and there, and so forth. I look back and wonder how in the world I did it all. I have also pondered how I managed with so little connection to other women. I had my church friends. I had my school band club friends. I had friends when I was a Girl Scout Leader. I had friends that I taught community classes with. What I had very little of were face-to-face, heart-to-heart connections, where you sit down, breathe together, and confide in each other. There are reasons for this. I am a leader, but I am also a loner. I like to get in there, get it done, and then I want to be alone. I chose to work and manage on my own because I felt I could. I didn't think about how to fit these types of connections into my life because I didn't think they were important, and I was busy! Join me as I share what I learned over five long years about the value of face-to-face and heart-to-heart connections regardless of where you are in your life.

On March 3, 2024, I published a podcast titled Are You Afraid to Read Hard Books? After that article was published, I got a wonderful email from one of my readers, who is also a dear friend. I get emails regularly telling me how good an article was or how helpful it was to the reader. This email contained some of that. What struck me though was another thing that happens now and then. Someone takes what I have written, and they build upon it! This is massively motivating for me. I asked Joy if I could share her thoughts with you because what she has done with family reading is magnificent. I think that some of you will want to follow suit, in some fashion. Join me and see the tremendous event her family has put into place when it comes to reading great books. 

This has caused me some consternation as I have moved along life's highway. Do you realize how much has changed since I was born in 1950!! It wasn't such a big issue until I became an adult and technology exploded. Recently I was forced to move from Windows 10 to Windows 11. I was freaked out. Join me as I share how managing technology, with its twists and turns, is like moving down the road of life and parenting. It will be illuminating!

In our world, we're so used to having technology always with us that it's challenging to be without it for even a short time. Technology, as wonderful as it is, can be a two-edged sword.  I have written several articles on using, abusing, and letting go of technology. I have experimented with this myself.  A recent email I received has me thinking about it again. Before I share the email, I want to share some of my experiences with technology, managing it, and not being managed by it. This has required that I commit to taking technology breaks. Join me as I share personal experiences with the joy, difficulty, and rewards of learning to manage your technology use. 

Early this spring Jodie was taking a short trip. She hauled the suitcase out of the garage so she could pack. Later, she asked me if I had seen it. No, I hadn't but I went upstairs to help her look. We searched everywhere and then lo and behold we saw it! It was leaning up against the wall by the front door, in direct sight. It wasn't hidden by anything. Sometimes we get blind! This type of blindness happens when we're working on relationships, teaching our children, managing our home, figuring out how to use time more wisely, getting better systems in place so life flows more smoothly, using money wisely, healing ourselves, etc. Experience has taught me that no matter how invested we are, we can't always see what is right in front of us. Sometimes we are blind. There are reasons for this: preconceived ideas, weariness, our bucket is empty, feeling that the issue is too big, maybe we aren't smart enough, we lack helpful resources, and others. Join me as I share 8 tips that will help you overcome occasional blindness and find solutions to sticky issues with greater ease.

Seven years ago, Jodie and her family moved from Kearns, UT. to West Point, UT. We were living with them, helping with Maggie and the other children. Living in a home with kids was assisting Don with his health challenges. It was a win-win situation. Eventually, we needed a home that was more handicap accessible. Don found the house in West Point and when Jodie looked at it, she could see how good it would be for us. However, many things needed to be upgraded. That was daunting to think about. Join me as I illustrate how we put our home in order and use it as an example of what it takes to put our inner houses in order. You will be surprised at the similarities and how powerful this will be. 

I have learned from lived experience that simple systems are usually the solution to difficult problems in time and life management. This was not an easy lesson to learn, and I occasionally still ignore this truth, but when I do, I suffer.  Join me as I help you understand what a system is, how it works, and how it can change your life. If you are living with default systems then it is harder to care for yourself, do the important things, and still care for your family. Join me as I help you understand what a system is, how they work, and how they can change your life. 

I had a funny conversation with a single dad. We were talking about how to keep things clean and how to get our kids to clean. I noticed he wasn't an efficient housekeeper. He felt he was doing ok, and it was ok, just not very clean. : ) This comes from someone who was a professional housekeeper for almost two decades. This dad told me they have a long-time family friend named Steffanie. She is a natural-born cleaner, like me. When he asked the kids to clean anything they would respond, “Dad's clean, or Stefanie's clean.” Gotta love kids! My goal today is not to discuss different systems for getting kids to do chores or how to get kids to do chores. It's about keeping home management and teaching in place while reinforcing good relationships at the same time. I'm sharing two things I did that worked for a time and helped build relationships. One is truly radical. It will leave some of you speechless and others of you laughing. I'm sharing them because they illustrate the importance of relationships over home management. Join me and see how you can care for home and family and still build relationships.

I had a conversation last March with a young friend. Yes, it has taken me over a year to figure out how to share our conversation. The topic is challenging, and I am busy caregiving. This last comment leads us into my conversation with my friend. She was overwhelmed and felt like a parenting and personal failure. She wanted to know how to identify the essentials and have some control. : ) I could relate to everything she was feeling and suffering. Frankly, I was in the same boat but for different reasons. She was asking me something I was just beginning to get a handle on myself. That is probably why over a year passed before I could share the conversation. Join me as I share our situations and the tips I shared with my friend that help me manage what is and where I am. 

I have a granddaughter and a dear friend with special needs. I have another friend who has six children with special needs. These relationships require us to face many challenges but if we can find beauty and joy in the journey, as my friend with the six special needs children says, we choose the scenic route. This doesn't just apply to families with children like my granddaughter and friends. Doesn't every child have 'special needs?' Isn't parenting any child a challenge of change and growth? Join me as I share some tips on how you can choose the scenic route despite the challenges of parenting any child. 

I read a verse of scripture that sparked this article. “I have commanded you to bring up your children in light and truth. . .therefore, First, set in order thy house” Doctrine and Covenants 93:43 On this day, I read it in a new way. I focused on “First, set in order thy house”. It brought to my mind another verse of scripture. “For now we see through a glass darkly”. 1 Cor. 14:12 Seeing through a glass darkly is an apt analogy when we are sharing knowledge with our children. If the windows to our home are dark, we cannot see out of them clearly. Everything we see will be dimmed by our own darkness. We will not be able to give more light to our families than we possess. We must be enlightened first, and then we can share with our children. It caused me to think of the classics I have read and my spiritual canon. If we are unfamiliar with good literature and that which informs our belief system, then we cannot call them to mind when a quote, verse, or thought might enlighten a child, illuminate a teaching, open a new learning adventure, or ease a soul. These quotes and teachings won't be in us because our house is empty, and our windows are dark. As parents, we want to do and say the best thing when it is needed, so we can give help, comfort, and knowledge to our children. Having light in our own house, so to speak, is vital. Reading good books and our spiritual canon or other writings that inform our belief system is like washing our windows and filling our house with light. As we enlighten ourselves, we see more clearly. We see our children and their needs more clearly. So, how do busy parents find the time for self-education, reading, and reflection? Join me as I share nine tips that will help you learn and grow despite the business that comes with being a parent. 

This is the last article in the series on cleaning systems. This is the system I use today. Let me give you the back story. I have tried many cleaning systems, but I always returned to ‘THE LIST.' I am a list maker. It seemed the most useful and satisfying way to manage my daily work. However, I am also a finisher. This and list-making can be a combination for failure. It isn't that you fail, but you always feel like a failure because you can never finish the list. In real life, you never finish the list. Part of the reason for this is, that not everything you have to do in a day is on the list - dishes, meals, laundry, running kids to friends, that extra trip to school when someone is ill, and so forth. This list/finisher combination caused me grief for most of my life. If I am not careful and follow my current system, it still can be. Just being honest. : ) When I found myself in a four-generation home, just as busy as when I was raising seven children, I began praying about the issue. God knows me well, and he likes me how I am. But He also knows there are ways that I can manage my natural way of being/energy better. So that seemed like the best place to go for help. Join me today as I share the cleaning system I use today, why it works for me, and why it might work for you.

I read an article my friend Donna Goff wrote called Trade in Your To-Do List. The article I read, resonated with me because my daily worksheet can feel overwhelming. The problem is, I rarely get each item on the list finished, even if I am running circles all day long, Donna had experienced the same thing. And no matter how much you accomplish in a day, if there are unchecked items left on your list it can leave you with a sense of not having done enough. It shouldn't. I know better. You probably know better. Donna knows better. But occasionally it does. Join me as I share a fun way to take a break, clear your head, and possibly make way for a systems tune-up in how you keep on top of things at home. 

Anne Murdock just retired from decades of working with special needs children. That is our big link, as I have a special needs granddaughter. We met in church and became fast friends. Although I moved, we have stayed in touch. Recently we began meeting for lunch. We each drive about 30 minutes and it has been fun. A few months ago, we discussed a cool system Anne uses to help women stay on top of their work at home and have fewer moments of feeling like they can't manage. It's called Household Bingo. You check off the boxes as you finish jobs until you have a bingo. Take time to reward yourself, read a book, take a walk, listen to music, etc. Then you work for the next bingo. Eventually, you will have crossed everything off the card. Then you create a new card by asking the question, “What is most pressing right now?” Sounds interesting, doesn't it! It is a simple system using the principle that small things, done consistently, make big things happen. Join me as I explain how this simple and effective system can keep you from saying, "Why am I in such a mess?"

In the next few weeks, I will be sharing some cleaning systems from friends of mine and myself. We all need help managing the 'pile' of things that need to be done so that we don't get bogged down and feel like failures. This is a very familiar feeling to most of us! I begin with my friend Donna Goff who is a writer, teacher, mentor, and mother to a large family. Join me as we explore how she stays on time and avoids the dreaded 'neverending list.'

There are many ways to recharge and care for yourself but they aren't helpful unless you know what works for you. and did you know that what works can change and then you have to go back to the drawing board.  Join me as I share an experience from 2011 and another from 2024 that is illuminating when it comes to understanding what works for you when you need to recharge.  I will also share why I don't buy the idea that to recharge we have to go outside of the chaos of daily living. If that is the case, then many of us will get very little self-care.  It doesn't matter how you recharge. When you know what works, do it daily and the heat of the day will be less intense.

In the last two weeks, I've given you some information on Sparks and how to use them to connect with your children. In the article on March 10 – SPARKS - The Big Fail, I mentioned that when we learn to utilize Sparks, we can help our children love the idea of learning. Kids have a lot to learn, and often, whether we homeschool or use public or private schools, the love of learning can get buried. We can't prevent times when school is boring or too hard. But we can keep the desire to learn alive, as we utilize our children's Sparks. When I was speaking and teaching, I spent many hours helping parents use their children's Sparks. I wrote LOTS of articles on the experiences actual families had. Today's article was written in 2012, the same year I had my big fail and many big wins. My friend, Leah, was taking her family to Florida and wanted them to LOVE the trip and to LEARN a lot. We both knew what I wrote in the article two weeks ago - Life is about learning, and the best-lived lives happen when we continue to learn. Leah wanted this for her boys. Join me as I share how Leah got her boys on board and how she took a Spark and turned it into a roaring fire. 

Last week I shared information about Sparks and how valuable they can be in building child-parent relationships. I also shared my big failure when it came to one of my grandsons Sparks. Let's have a quick review. In my book Becoming a Present Parent  I wrote that the value of seeing your child's Sparks is that it's a wonderful way to get Present with your child. It's powerful not only in helping them love learning but also in creating tighter relationships. So, what is a Spark? Simply put, a Spark is anything that a child says or does that lets you know they're interested in something right now. Last week I shared a big Spark fail. Today I want to share a Big Spark win. When you understand Sparks and how to use them you will listen, enjoy, and bond better with your children.

In my book Becoming a Present Parent  I wrote that the value of seeing your child's Sparks is that it's a wonderful way to get Present with your child. It's powerful not only in helping them love learning but also in creating tighter relationships. Over the next few months, I want to share some examples of how I, and other parents, were able to use Sparks to connect with our kids. They are fun ideas that you can incorporate with your children, even if they haven't shown up as a Spark, because you can also ignite Sparks. Light a spark and watch it burn! Besides, it's nice to have a quiver of ideas in your back pocket, especially with summer right around the corner and the sometimes boring days it brings. Learning slows down and tech takes over. It is useful to have some fun ideas and then gather your kids around for some non-tech enjoyment. One of the reasons I'm going to tackle this issue of Sparks in the next couple of months is because I'm going to be spending LOTS of time caring for my grands. I fly to Seattle for a week, mid-month, where my grands range in age from almost twelve to four. Then it's on to Colorado for a week. These grands range in age from married with kids, down to age four. I need a reminder, because as I see Sparks, I can respond, and our time together will be more powerful. The article I am sharing this week was written in late 2011 and is about an epic failure in the Sparks arena. It illustrates the number one thing to remember about Sparks – the younger the child the shorter the Sparks shelf life. So when a Spark pops up you need to be prepared to respond. When you do, the results are amazing. Next week I will share a success.

Have you ever wondered how to read books that aren't easy reads? This has been an issue for me. I LOVE reading but sometimes the classics are a challenge. History can be dry. Some books deal with tough topics. How do you manage those? I just finished a book while at my daughter's in Seattle, The Midnight Library. It's a book I would recommend to others, but it wasn't what I would call a ‘tough read.' It was a thoughtful and enjoyable read. We all need those now and then but to learn and grow we occasionally need the tough read. In May of 2023, I finished the book, Confucius - The Analects. Here is what I posted: “OK, this book was a tough read for me! I know exactly why I am not a philosophy major. I do not think deeply enough or abstractly enough. I had friends who read this and told me it was a must-read. So, I read it. Yes, the whole thing, but I confess, I didn't get most of it. Join me as we discuss how to read hard books. When you can tackle hard books, then you can help your children and youth do the same. It is a skill worth learning and then passing on.

Every mother struggles to bring all that she has to the family table. We all want to teach our children to be kind, to have manners, to be honest, to do their chores, to share, and on and on. We also want to teach skills that can help them as adults. We desire to encourage them to develop talents for the joy of it. It can feel daunting. But there is something else that many of us struggle with; we want to have meaningful ‘family learning', where our families connect and where the connection we create is passed down. That can often seem even more challenging because of the time and effort it can take. This is not something that we can give to our children by our example or our way of being. I am talking about what we do as a family that is uniquely our own, that is passed on because we did them together and they became part of us. Today we are going to tackle this sticky wicket and see how it can be done, even if you have felt that you are failing at this or if you don't even get what I'm talking about. : )

I have a friend that I admire very much, Alysia Humphries. What got me thinking about her this last couple of weeks was that tonight (Saturday) I am going to a special event for caregivers. She and a handful of other women are giving some nurturing to caregivers. I fit into that group and so Alysia asked me to come. I am going to have some foot zoning done and Alysia is giving me some light therapy. Restful! That got me thinking about Alysia and a letter she sent to me after an event I participated in over a dozen years ago to help to mothers focus better on what matters. Today Alysia kids are twelve years older, but being a present parent doesn't change even when your kids are adults. I thought you would enjoy her letter and the tips that she came up with for herself to manage better. Enjoy Alysia's experience and I will enjoy my light therapy. : )

I recall getting an email from a very harried mom with a three-year-old. I laugh about it still because I can relate! “YIKES!! My three-year-old wants me to help him with everything!! I need some activities and games for small children!” Not long after, I got an email from a mom who was homeschooling. She loved working with her eight-year-old, but she had two littles who made it difficult to give her older son the attention she wanted to. She needed some diversions for those little ones. She planned for all of them to be in the same room, but she needed her littles to be able to play happily without her help for short periods. Today I will share a HUGE list of activities that will keep your small children occupied for short periods leaving you free to work with an older child, do some chores, work from home, or do your reading and study.  These activities come from many mothers so they are tried and true!

Do you have cherished dreams? Is there a goal you want as much as breathing? Do you worry that because you chose to be a parent they may never come to pass? I can relate. I raised seven children. I was busy and overwhelmed lots of the time. I had goals and dreams and there were times I felt they could come to pass. Then, just when I felt I was moving towards them, I would be called home physically or emotionally and the dream would be on hold again. Today, I want to encourage you and give you heart, so will hold on to your dreams while you do this most important calling, raising your family. I have often said, “You can't know until you get there.” I have gotten to a new place and in time, I believe you will get there too. Join me as I share the new place I have gotten and how it can give you hope for your dreams and goals. 

Life as a single parent is a challenging journey, but it can also be filled with growth, resilience, and moments of joy. I have a daughter navigating this path, and it can be both painful and joyous watching her and her children as they move through this new territory. To manage well requires a blend of practical strategies and emotional fortitude. Understanding how to manage as a single parent, either a mom or dad, requires support and resources. In April of 2023, I posted an article by a fellow writer, Laura Pearson, filled with resources to assist parents returning to school. Today I am sharing another of her articles with resources for single parents. If you are a single parent this will probably not be new information for you, but I hope the included links will be useful in helping you move forward in investigating these and other resources that may be just what you need.