Legends In Their Own Minds

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Each week our 2 "Legends" wax sarcastic about a wide range of topics - 10 minutes at a time. From bad drivers, to binge eating, and everything in between, these 2 "Legends" can make a mountain out of any molehill.

The 2 Legends


    • Dec 19, 2019 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 10m AVG DURATION
    • 190 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Legends In Their Own Minds

    #190 - ImPeach Pits

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2019 10:30


    While Dave is rightly concerned about the historical phenomenon of 'political impeachment', Johnny’s underlying issue is pretty much with any kind of math.

    #189 - At A Loss

    Play Episode Listen Later May 9, 2019 10:29


    Johnny's doctor is concerned about his weight - but it's not what you think. Will he survive? Or is he officially doomed?

    #188 - NFL Draft Dodgers

    Play Episode Listen Later May 1, 2019 11:26


    In Nashville, it turns out the NFL Draft and bachelorette parties are a bad mix. Just ask the bachelorettes who didn't plan ahead. Don't ask Dave, though. That'll just get him started again.

    #187 - USA, Party of 3?

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 16, 2017 11:29


    Don't like either candidate from the two major parties and feel you have to vote for the lesser of two evils? Well, it seems you're not alone. Now at least one state is trying to find a clever remedy.

    #186 - Shh... Leaf Blowing In Progress

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 3, 2017 10:08


    Johnny wants to let out a primal scream about all the "feel good" (read politically correct) ordinances his toney suburban city has been enacting lately. But then if he did, they'd probably slap him with a fine.

    #185 - Wanna Get Away? From Dave?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2017 12:34


    Some people think Dave is rude... They'd be right. Just asked the lady who unnecessarily held up the airport security line in front of him!

    #184 - Grumpy Old Men

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 6, 2017 10:21


    Someone once said "getting old is not for wimps." As Dave begrudgingly starts to deal with the reality of his inevitable physical decline, Johnny's best guess is that the guy who uttered that line, is probably dead.

    #183 - Super LI

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 26, 2017 11:10


    Well, the New England Patriots are going to the Super Bowl once again and, unlike most of the country, Dave and Johnny couldn't be more pleased. Oh yeah, and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, he can go pound sand; just not in the Northeast.

    #182 - LinkedOut

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 19, 2017 10:30


    Johnny has been trying to get Dave on social media for years. Finally, Dave is connected, but now Johnny has taken himself off the grid...Coincidence?

    #181 - Dialect Dilemma

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2016 10:04


    Johnny walked a fine and treacherous line when his beloved, malapropism-prone wife suggested she was interested in teaching English as a second language. He broached the subject of proficiency and still managed to survive.

    #180 - CPAP Smear

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 7, 2016 10:10


    Johnny has sleep apnea, so his doctor prescribed a CPAP machine. Johnny won't use the thing because it's noisy and keeps him awake. Dave, on the other hand, thinks it's probably a good thing for Johnny to breathe when he sleeps. That Dave... he's such a giver!

    #179 - The Roadside Address

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2016 9:48


    Have you ever rented a car from a well-known company, had it break down in the middle of nowhere on a 100-degree day and when you call the 800 number, the woman in Mumbai tells you they always have problems with those cars? Dave has, and it was F-airly U-gly.

    #178 - I'm Wedding My Pants

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2016 10:04


    Johnny's wife enjoys going to weddings. Johnny, not so much. He'll go because he wants to be a good husband. After all, he may not be a romantic, but he's no fool.

    #177 - Old and Uncool

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2015 11:00


    Johnny's feeling extra old these days. And his children can't wait to remind him of it.

    #176 - Play The Trump Card

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2015 12:04


    We really hate the pathetic game of media and politics. Perhaps we need a Trump card.

    #175 - Is 10 Enough?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2015 10:17


    Is ten people living in a small house too much? Paging Captain Obvious.

    #174 - Movin On Down

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 24, 2015 10:28


    Some people say moving to the south is a downgrade. We think those people are very smart.

    #173 - None Of The Above

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2015 10:56


    We're ambivalent about this crop of presidential candidates. We're not so blasé about past winners.

    #172 - Everyone Loves A Good Move-ment

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2015 7:19


    Dave's movin' south. And by south, we don't mean the N**meg State.

    #171 - American UnExpressed

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2015 10:10


    Johnny gets lots of credit card offers. Don't they know his wife has final disapproval?

    #170 - Words to the Unwise

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2015 10:01


    There are an amazing number of words that you should never use and stuff. Irregardless, it's very hard not to, honestly, just literally have your head maybe explode.

    #169 - Shawshanked In Alcatraz

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2015 13:06


    If Dave & John broke out of prison, what would they do? The answers made Johnny fraidy scared.

    #168 - Com-spastic

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2015 10:03


    Comcast customer service is an oxymoron. The rep who spoke to Dave is a bona fide moron.

    #167 - Rent-A-Reek

    Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2015 11:42


    Dave's car is in the shop and his rental car should be. We're talking scratches and the aroma of wet dog. But, enough about his personal life.

    #166 - Sons of Malarkey

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2015 10:13


    Johnny's a biker, but he's not in a gang. He thinks that's a Waco idea.

    #165 - Stent-ion Convention

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2015 11:07


    It's been a year since Johnny had a heart attack. He's fine now. However, his next scheduled procedure might end up being an even bigger pain-in-the-ass.

    #164 - White Fright

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2015 10:33


    Johnny and Dave are unashamed white men. Ben Affleck, however, has taken his white guilt to a whole new level. You might say he's a slave to political correctness.

    #163 - She Said She Said

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2015 10:57


    When Johnny's wife speaks, everyone listens. Because, according to him, nobody knows what the hell he/she's saying.

    #162 - Trial In Era

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2015 10:01


    It's a trial living in Boston. Bad traffic. Cold and snow. Democrats. No death penalty. Texas is looking pretty good right about now...

    #161 - Whistler's Mutter

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 11, 2015 10:31


    We all know Johnny is easily irritated. What he doesn't know is why some people insist on whistling in public, thus causing him to hit a sour note.

    #160 - Fly Wet Glue

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 3, 2015 9:47


    Johnny is rarely on the left side of anything. Driving in Barbados forced him to the other side of the road, much to the chagrin of his white-knuckled family.

    #159 - Come Back to Barbados

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 26, 2015 9:15


    Johnny dreaded his family vacation in Barbados. He worried it might not be "a day at the beach." But, much to his surprise, he was wr-wr-wrong.

    #158 - Brady-cats

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 28, 2015 9:16


    Super Bowl XLIX is almost here and our 2 Legends are feeling anxious. As fans of the Patriots, Dave and Johnny don't want to, once again, feel deflated should their beloved team lose. (See what we did there?)

    #157 - Frantic Football Fans

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 13, 2015 10:39


    Dave and Johnny are nervous fans when it comes to the NE Patriots playing in the NFL playoffs. Now, before you and the rest of America get all hateful regarding our Legends' favorite team, just remember, the name Tom Brady has a nice ring to it... Actually 3 rings to it...

    #156 - Work Not Will Not

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 6, 2015 10:42


    The internet is down in Dave's office, Johnny's LED bulbs don't work in his chandelier, and the podcast sound mixer is always a problem. We know, First World Problems are a real pain in the... circuit box.

    #155 - Let It Sleet

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 16, 2014 10:26


    A little bit of freezing rain sends New England drivers into a tizzy. Hello people? You didn't see winter coming? These drivers are divided into two groups, idiots or maniacs, and you know which type you are.

    #154 - Now Shave December

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2014 10:16


    Dave shaved his goatee and Johnny was quite surprised. People say Dave looks years younger. In fact, if Johnny were to let his gray beard grow, our 2 Legends might be mistaken for father and son. Hey, it could happen.

    #153 - 99 Problems

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2014 10:29


    There is a dearth ($10 word) of dining choices near Dave's office in "Idaho." Usually, it's the Chinese buffet or a place that doesn't have meatloaf. Please note: chopped sirloin is not almost like meatloaf.

    #152 - Pain in the Corolla

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2014 10:45


    Johnny's a bit miffed. What else is new? He offered to buy his dad's old car hoping his father might give it to him. Uh, not so much. Dear old dad did accept a bank check though. Ah, family.

    #151 - One Little Prick

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 12, 2014 11:06


    So Johnny was suffering from "numb wrists", and he thought it would be a great idea to have an acupuncturist stick needles in his ears to fix the problem. Makes sense, right?

    #150 - Only The Good Die Dead

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2014 10:00


    When someone close dies, do you "grieve" by cracking jokes? Johnny does; it is who he is; he can't help it. He's even prepared a few quips should Dave precede him below the grass.

    #149 - Blow This

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2014 10:05


    It's fall in New England and Johnny's revving up his new gas-powered leaf blower. He should hurry though, because soon it might be outlawed in his snooty suburb.

    #148 - Family Tail-great

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2014 10:25


    Dave and PRY4SNO begged out of a rainy Thursday night Patriots game to "study." So, Johnny took his wife, daughter, and son (who brought a flask). It was painless.

    #147 - Cycle Snobs

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 14, 2014 10:26


    You've all seen those avid cyclists with their colorful-spandex-Euro--scruffy-bearded-I'm-better-than-you attitude. Well, Johnny is having none of it, especially when those weenies feel the need to give him unsolicited "advice."

    #146 - Fire Fall

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 7, 2014 10:32


    We love autumn in New England, but the daunting prospect of winter tempers that affection. And Johnny likes the smell of burning leaves, but his enviro-conscious, nosy suburban neighbors had to call 911 "and ruin it."

    #145 - Whining in the Windy City

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2014 11:19


    Dave and his college buddies reunite once a year, but no one knows why. Chicago was their place of choice this time and, as usual, Dave found many things which annoyed him, not the least of which were the hapless Cubs and baseball in general.

    #144 - Challenge Flags

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 23, 2014 10:04


    Johnny's whining about how his family seems to challenge him on everything. Dave rarely tests the big guy because he knows he comes off as reasonable by comparison.

    #143 - Vanity Fare

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2014 12:17


    One of our Legends is prone to vanity and, surprisingly, it's not the younger of the two. Johnny actually spent $75 on a tooth whitening kit which left his wife with some bitter aftertaste.

    #142 -All Pain No Gain

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2014 11:08


    We know Johnny is old and he talks about his aches and pains ad nauseum. But, ever since Dave turned 40, he's been hearing noises emanating from his body, and they're not from the Mexican food he ate the night before.

    #141 - School Surplize

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2014 10:38


    Johnny was good this year and bought his niece's school supplies before the last minute rush. What he didn't realize was all that stuff was a lot more expensive than when he was a kid during the Eisenhower administration.

    #140 - The Price of Fun

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2014 10:07


    What would you pay for lunch at the local zoo? Johnny thought when he left Disney the price of a simple meal would be more reasonable. Well, it's time to wake up, smell the deep fryer and open your wallet.

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