Straight Wife Trans Life

It's a new year and as we wrestle with what the future holds for transgender people in this moment in time, we begin the season with a glimpse of the potential for positive change. My spouse decided to visit her family in México to celebrate her dad's 80th birthday this past November. It has been a difficult road for their relationship since my spouse came out and only recently have they been communicating on a regular basis. This was the first visit since my spouse began her transition, almost three years ago. Change can happen with effort from all sides.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

The season ends with special guest, Abbe Kruger. Abbe is a life coach who dedicates herself to supporting cisgender and straight spouses or partners, and couples, managing changes in sexuality, gender identity and gender expression. Abbe can help anyone, anywhere in the world. In this episode, Abbe shares how a loved one coming out can impact the straight spouse or partner and offers insight into how couples can make it work.   Abbe's coaching website   Season 3 returns in January. Until then, be well and thank you for listening.  Additional Resources Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

One month into middle school for my son and a student has already used an anti-LGBTQ+ slur against another student in a locker room. The kicker is that we live in what is considered a very progressive area. In this episode, my son and I have a talk about this incident, how a teacher handled it, and what he might have done if the teacher wasn't there.  Related to this episode: UNICEF: How to Talk to Your Kids About Hate Speech Anti-Defamation League: What is "Grooming?" The Truth Behind the Dangerous, Bigoted Lie Targeting the LGBTQ+ Community Lambda Legal: Know Your Rights - Anti-Gay and Anti-Equality Speech Lambda Legal: For Educators - How to Make Your School Safer for LGBTQ Students   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.    

The Summer Olympics just ended and I'm always impressed by the overall mental strength component that athletes have to excel at their sports. It takes mental strength to succeed in sports, at work, as parents, and in a situation like many of us where your spouse or partner has come out as transgender. Let's explore this idea of mental strength to help us remain grounded as we navigate a loved one coming out.  Mentioned in this episode: CNBC: I Study and Train Mentally Strong People for a Living - Here are 7 Things They Never Do    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, Trans Formations Project, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

New job, new people can be exciting for most of us and unchartered, anxiety-inducing territory for transgender people who just want to fit in with everyone else. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her first work retreat where she met new coworkers at an otherwise remote-based company. Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee or donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers.

There are times when someone famous shows us their transphobic side or a transgender person makes poor decisions that come to light and they paint a negative image for the transgender community. Both examples actually had their moment in various news outlets this week and for those of us with a transgender partner or spouse, we may get caught in the middle of a fresh batch of transphobia. In this episode, I explore ways to respond.   Mentioned and Related Links:  The people making headlines this week: CNN and Rolling Stone TransActual UK: Transphobia Medium: How to Respond to Transphobia Attitude: Next Goal Wins - Meet the Amazing Trans Footballer Who Inspired Taika Waititi's Film and the Star Who Plays Her Book: Transgender History, second edition by Susan Stryker Book: Black on Both Sides, a Racial History of Trans Identity by C. Riley Snorton Book: Before We Were Trans by Dr. Kit Heyam, Ph.D Journal: TSQ: Transgender Studies Quarterly Amnesty International: How to Tell Someone You Know They're Being Transphobic  Boston University CIDI: Responding to Misinformation about Gender Diversity YouTube: ACLU: How to Respond to Trans Misinformation QueerAF: How to Respond to Trans Misinformation from within the Trans Community Trans Reads: collection of free trans-focused literature Media Bias/Fact Check: A Resource to Check Your Information Sources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

The term “trans widow” is one that I thought I related to at first... until I didn't. It is actually quite transphobic and in this episode, I share why it doesn't sit well with me.    Mentioned and Related Links:  National suicide prevention lifeline: 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) LGBT National Help Center hotline: 1-888-843-4564 International Suicide Hotlines Opinion: A Letter to "Trans Widows", From an Actual Widow  HBO Max: We're Here Opinion: I'm a Real Trans Widow - Anyone Saying Their Newly Out Trans Partner is 'Dead' Disgusts Me Opinion: Please Stop Saying "Trans Widows"   The Williams Institute: Suicide Thoughts and Attempts Among Transgender Adults   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage TikTok: TransitionTogether The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

For the first time since my spouse began her transition two and a half years ago, she is looking for a new job opportunity. She is a Latina transgender woman who is fortunate to be educated with a strong support system. Keep in mind that the transgender workforce reports low employment rates, lower salaries, and high discrimination. In this episode, I talk to my spouse about her job search experience.   Related Resources:  ACLU: Report Discrimination  Advocates for Trans Equality (A4TE): Know Your Employment Rights and Employment  Human Rights Campaign: Transitioning as an Employee and Trans Toolkit for Employers  LGBT National Help Center: Find Local Resources Database Out for Work: Employment Planning Resources for LGBTQ+ Students Transgender Law Center: Employment Resources Australia: TransHub  Canada: Employment Resources Europe: Transgender Europe (TGEU) Campaign for Southern Equality: Resources + by southern states Los Angeles: Trans Can Work Philadelphia & Vicinity: TransWork  San Francisco LGBT Center: Employment Services   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

It's Father's Day in the U.S. today and the first Father's Day post-disclosure was rough. Now, two and a half years in, it's not a big deal but I still struggle with how to label my spouse when she's not around. Is labeling my transgender spouse a “spouse” enough or is it necessary to add more or less? Here's how I'm currently working through it.   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

June is Pride Month, a time to raise awareness about the LGBTQ+ community, its history and remembering the Stonewall Uprising, current issues facing the community… and it's a time to celebrate diversity and acceptance, hope, progress, joy. I love that allyship is strong this month. Let's explore how one can be a great ally to the LGBTQ+ community this month plus all year.    Related Resources:  Article - Harvard Business Review: What it Means to Be a Better Ally to the LGBTQ+ Community  Resource - ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures in 2024  Resource - Trans Legislation Tracker Consider donating to: The Trevor Project, GLAAD, PFLAG and PFLAG International chapters, Lambda Legal, The Williams Institute, your local LGBTQ+ centers Article - Out: 15 Pride Products from Brands that Actually Give Back to the LGBTQ+ Community   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

A main giveaway that someone might be transgender is their voice. Speaking as a transgender person can be daunting and in this episode, I talk to my spouse about her road to sounding more feminine with the help of vocal therapy.    Related Resources:  American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA): includes list of resources and how to find them Stanford Health Care: LGBTQ+ Health Program  UCLA Health: Voice Therapy and Voice Surgery UCSF Transgender Care: Voice and Speech Therapy International Resource - Australia: TransHub  International Resource - British Trans Voice Coach Adi Wilson  International Resource - Canadian Trans Voice Coach Renée Yoxon Bay Area OUTspoken Speech Services Connected Speech Pathology Seattle Voice Lab Voice by Kylie (Trans Women) and voice resonance guide by Kylie  Voice Tools App: Apple and Android YouTube: TransVoiceLessons YouTube: Transmasculine resource AmaRoseLessons   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

I ask my spouse a few questions about her experience as a transgender woman using public restrooms.    Related Resources:  Article - The 19th: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary People Resource - Refuge Restrooms: a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for the LGBTQ+ community Resource (PDF) - OSHA: A Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers   Resource - MAP: transgender issues and transgender bathroom and facilities bans Resource - National Center for Transgender Equality: Transgender People and Bathroom Access Resource - Human Rights Campaign: Resources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

The idea that a transgender person should not be permitted to use a public restroom that aligns with their gender identity is misunderstood and places the safety of a transgender person in jeopardy. This episode touches the surface from my viewpoint as someone who lives with a transgender person.   Mentioned and Related Resources:  Article - Advocate: Transgender People Confronted in Florida Bathroom Ban Article - CNN: 3 Myths that Shape the Transgender Bathroom Debate Article - The 19th: How You Can Make Bathrooms Safer for Trans and Nonbinary People Resource - Refuge Restrooms: a web application that seeks to provide safe restroom access for the LGBTQ+ community Resource (PDF) - OSHA: A Guide to Restroom Access for Transgender Workers   Resource - MAP: transgender issues and transgender bathroom and facilities bans Resource - National Center for Transgender Equality: Transgender People and Bathroom Access Resource - Human Rights Campaign: Resources   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee    

In this episode, I take a moment to share an overview of…you! Several of you have taken time to write to me and it means so much. You, listeners, are a diverse, interesting, wonderful group of people and I appreciate you.   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Anger is one of the first and lingering emotions that occur when a spouse discloses that they are transgender; lingering as in years. How does one let go of that anger and move forward? In this episode, I offer a few ideas of where to start and it requires being willing to accept that it is time to make changes.   Mentioned in this episode: Waiting to Exhale movie: Angela Bassett car fire scene (adult content) Verywell Mind article: Victim Mentality: Definition, Causes, and Ways to Cope   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

After a death in my spouse's family, she has her first interaction with her dad in a very long time. Can someone who is unsupportive about their child's transition come around and realize that transgender people are just people? Possibly. For my spouse, her dad has taken a positive step forward.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx  More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

My transgender spouse mentioned that she wants to be addressed as female at all times, including our past. For me, it doesn't feel honest because I have only been married to a transgender woman for two years vs. 13 years with a male. In this episode, we chat about the issue from both perspectives and ultimately, there is no real solution except to take it case-by-case.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee

I ask our 10-year-old son how he is feeling since his male-to-female parent, my spouse, had facial feminization surgery (FFS) a few months ago in December. Judging by his responses, I needlessly worried about how he would do.   Resources for Kids & Families:  COLAGE  Book - She's My Dad Book - He's My Mom Book - No One Owns the Colors Book - The World Needs More Purple People Book - It's Okay to be Different Book - Red: A Crayon's Story Transgender Reading List for Adults via PFLAG Books about Trans Parents for Kids and Adults via Mombian UCLA The Williams Institute: Data Regarding Transgender Parents (2020) Article: How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their Children Article: Here's a Way to Start a Conversation with Kids...  Article - Coming Out Trans to your Kids Article - Going from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My Kids Lambda Legal: FAQ About Transgender Parenting   Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

In this episode, I share my real feelings about FFS before and after, and my spouse discusses how things look and feel two months post-surgery.    Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health  Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers  UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says  For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally(PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Early in December, my spouse had facial feminization surgery (FFS). The day before her surgery, we recorded a brief discussion to share with you about why she felt she was ready for it, if she was worried about how our 10-year-old son might react, and any other concerns she might have. As someone living with a transgender person, I now understand how important this step can be toward treating gender dysphoria.    Mentioned in this episode: Stanford Medicine: LGBTQ+ Health Program   Articles and Resources for Transgender Health: Global Resource: World Professional Association for Transgender Health  Transgender Legal Defense & Education Fund: Resource list for Trans Healthcare Providers  UCLA Health: FFS Improves Quality of Life for Transgender People, Study Says  For medical providers: AMA - Creating an LGBTQ-Friendly Practice   More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Two years ago on New Year's Eve, my husband came out to me as a transgender woman. That was a dark day. But change is constant and this is the first year since disclosure that I'm looking forward to celebrating the day again.  In this episode, I share what has changed in two years to reach this point.    Places to look for therapy and professional support: Psychology Today Coaching for Cis & Straight Partners of Transgender, Gender Diverse, and LGBTQ+ Folx    More transgender families:  YouTube Channel: Great Scotts YouTube Channel: Jammidodger YouTube Channel: The Rage The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

The rougher part of the holidays after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: dealing with friends and family at gatherings or coworkers and acquaintances at events. Whether you attend alone or together, 'tis the season to set boundaries and prepare ahead of time so you're not caught off guard.  Mentioned in this episode:  The Daily Show: Leslie Jones Stops your Annoying Relatives from Ruining Thanksgiving Them: How to Prepare for your First Visit Home after Transitioning Pronoun Pins: Human Rights Campaign pronoun pins , PFLAG pronoun buttons , Dissent pins, Etsy pronoun pins  Song: Kenny Rogers, The Gambler   More holiday resources:  PFLAG: How to "Ally" for the Holidays  SF LGBT Center: An LGBTQ Guide to Surviving the Holidays  USA Today: Coming out for the Holidays: How Families React Could Save Lives   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Let's start the new season of the podast with a portion of the holidays that you can control after your spouse or partner comes out as transgender: checking in with yourself. Take a deep breath, listen to yourself, and find something positive.   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

  The podcast returns December 10 but today, the first season ends with a list of lessons I've learned since my spouse came out almost two years ago. Thank you for listening, reaching out, and taking time out of your day to share this journey with me. I hope you find these helpful:   Be kind to yourself Take your time making decisions Find empathy Allow yourself to grieve Find a great therapist for yourself and with your loved one Test out support groups, sometimes the best fit isn't the first one Call out or be honest with family and friends making negative, transphobic comments Set boundaries Be true to yourself Find your new happy   Mentioned in this episode:  Mary Schmich, Chicago Tribune: Advice, Like Youth, Probably Just Wasted on the Young Interview with the voice actor behind the Sunscreen Song: Lee Perry YouTube: The Sunscreen Song   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee    

Deciding to stay married to a spouse who comes out as transgender is a big decision for a variety of reasons. In this episode, you get an idea of how my spouse and I make our marriage work as we approach the two year mark of her coming out as a transgender woman. There are no guarantees; one day at a time.    Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

My spouse returns as a guest to discuss how she came out to her parents and brother as transgender and the challenges along the way. It took several months to build the courage to break the news and brace for any negative outcomes.   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

In this episode, I introduce you to my spouse who came out as transgender a year and a half ago. She discusses how she came to understand that she is transgender, the rollercoaster of emotions leading to that moment, and what it was like to tell me.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide   * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Emotions and questions are aplenty when your spouse or partner comes out as transgender. Sorting through it all is complex and there can be conflicting feelings. You can be happy that the person you love has figured out this piece to themselves while struggling through the loss of what you had together. Compartmentalization could be helpful. Mentioned in this episode: Psychology Today: Compartmentalization Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide  

Our son has asked repeatedly if I could interview him for the podcast and I always turned him down until now; transgender hate and misinformation changed my mind. It could be helpful to hear from a child how insignificant his parent's transition has been for him. A helping factor has been that my spouse and I remain respectful of one another and keep our emotions and the deeper discussions away from our son. The result: my son supports his “other mom” with unconditional love.  Mentioned in this episode: Muppet Babies Gonzo-Rella episode, Season 3, Episode 19 Other resources:  COLAGE  Book - She's My Dad Book - He's My Mom Book - No One Owns the Colors Book - The World Needs More Purple People Book - It's Okay to be Different Book - Red: A Crayon's Story Transgender Reading List for Adults via PFLAG Books about Trans Parents for Kids and Adults via Mombian UCLA The Williams Institute: Data Regarding Transgender Parents (2020) Article: How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their Children Article: Here's a Way to Start a Conversation with Kids...  Article - Coming Out Trans to your Kids Article - Going from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My Kids Lambda Legal: FAQ About Transgender Parenting Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Oh, the things we take for granted. Traveling as a family used to be something that was never given a second thought. Now, we travel on high safety alert with careful planning and awareness of our surroundings. This episode touches on a recent flight we took to Chicago, a family event in Indiana, and things to consider when traveling with or as a transgender person.   Mentioned in this Episode: Five Travel Safety Tips for Transgender Travelers by Aria Sa'id (2021) Equality Florida Issues (2023) Advisory Warning for Travel Video regarding transgender woman being detained in Dubai (six years ago)   IMPORTANT: For the First Time Ever, Human Rights Campaign Officially Declares 'State of Emergency' for LGBTQ+ Americans; Issues National Warning and Guidebook to Ensure Safety for LGBTQ+ (June 2023) Press Release Downloadable Guidebook   Travel Resources for Transgender, Non-Binary Individuals:  National Center for Transgender Equality: Know Your Rights - Airport Security   TSA: Information for Transgender, Non-Binary, Gender Nonconforming Passengers Harvard Global Support Services:  LGBTQ+ Travel Guidance & Resources  Asher & Lyric: Best and Worst Countries for LGBTQ+ Travel in 2023    States to Avoid Travel:  Florida NAACP Travel Advisory (May 2023) Louisiana NAACP Considering Travel Advisory (June 2023)   Safe States for Transgender People:  PinkNews: Activist Creates Map of the U.S. to Show Where it's Safe to be Transgender California Colorado Connecticut Hawaii Illinois Massachusetts Minnesota New Mexico New York Oregon Vermont Washington Washington, D.C.   News articles:  CNN: Traveling as a Trans Person: It's Complicated (2019 article) Washington Post: Trans Travelers Call for Change in Airports, TSA Protocols     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.  If you would like to support the podcast, consider Buy Me A Coffee  

Today is Father's Day and this is the first Father's Day our family has replaced with a new day, a new way to celebrate. As my spouse likes to say, we are in a new situation and the old rules don't apply. This episode offers alternatives to celebrate a transgender parent when Father's Day or Mother's Day no longer apply: you can create a date to celebrate, share the traditional date, or consider Transgender Parents Day which falls annually on the first Sunday in November.  Mentioned in this episode: Williams Institute: Demographics and Health Outcomes in a U.S. Probability Sample of Transgender Parents and a few more highlights in the press release National Library of Medicine: Transgender Population Size in the United States: a Meta-Regression of Population-Based Probability Samples LGBTQ+ Community Calendar via GLAAD Guides for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Groups can be disappointing but now isn't the time to go it alone. If your spouse or partner has come out as transgender, it is beneficial to find others in this situation to help you heal, navigate the ups and downs of the transition, and move forward. You'll be surprised, there are many of us out there.  Places to find peer-to-peer support: PFLAG National and International Open Reddit group may be helpful to find local resources or groups use search terms like SOFFA (Significant Others, Friends, Family, Allies) or transgender spouse support or transgender ally support or transgender center to find support near you OurPath (recommend the podcast) Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

The anti-trans movement can be overwhelming for those of us with transgender loved ones. This episode touches on the term transmisogyny and how transgender women tend to be the target, plus how we can support the transgender community. Mentioned in or resources related to this episode: ACLU: Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures Equality Federation: All Anti-Transgender Legislation  UC Santa Barbara Resource Center for Sexual & Gender Diversity: Transmisogyny Education Julia Serano: writer, performer, speaker, activist  Forbes: The Ugly Reality Of Violent Misogyny In America Is Systemic, Endemic, And Normalized Human Rights Campaign: Fatal Violence Against the Transgender and Non-Gender Conforming Community in 2022  Prison Policy Initiative: What the Survey of Prison Inmates tells us about Trans People in State Prison Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide         * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. Like what you hear? Buy Me A Coffee    

If you want to clear a room, mention “relationship boundaries” and see what happens. This topic makes everyone cringe but boundaries are there to help your relationship, not hinder it. This episode explores how to set healthy boundaries with your transgender spouse or partner as they transition, you transition, and your relationship transitions. Yes, it's all a transition.  Mentioned in this episode:  The Book of Boundaries: Set the Limits that Will Set You Free by Melissa Urban Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab Talk it out with a therapist, find one via Psychology Today Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide       * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions.

This episode offers a glimpse of what it is like to be out at dinner or visiting our child's school as a family with a transgender person. There are a lot of raised eyebrows that range from the curious what-am-I-looking-at stare to the negative look of disgust. My tip: ignore people you don't know and you'll have a great time like everyone else. Kudos to allies who make life feel normal for transgender people ...as it should feel. Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

My spouse told me that if there was a “reverse pill” to avoid being transgender, she would take it. It is a heartbreaking time in the U.S. to see an increase of anti-transgender laws being introduced while living with a loved one who is trying to navigate their transition and live in peace. This episode explores how our treatment of transgender people can mean life or death. U.S. Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call 988 For Deaf and Hard of Hearing: dial 711 then 988 Mentioned in this episode: We're Here on HBO Max (Florida, Part 1 and Part 2) UCLA Williams Institute Report Suicide Thoughts and Attempts Among Transgender Adults  ACLU Mapping Attacks on LGBTQ+ Rights in U.S. State Legislatures  UCLA Williams institute How Many Youth and Adults Identify as Transgender in the U.S.?  ACLU Trans Students Should Be Treated with Dignity  Trevor Project National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health 2021  Transgender Rights and Legal Help: Lambda Legal ACLU Transgender Rights Transgender Law Center Trans Health Project Trans Family SOS Bay Area Legal Aid (California Bay Area) Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

These are the top five questions I'm asked as the straight or cisgender spouse of a transgender person. Questions are great, just be sure to “read the room” and make sure the person you are asking is ready or open to talking about their situation. Thank you to those who check on spouses and partners; we are in a unique situation and appreciate you.  Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you. Like what you hear? Consider supporting my podcast with Buy Me A Coffee

Telling your family that your spouse or partner is transgender takes a little finesse, planning, and a solid mindset to accept any outcome. You have no control over the reaction of others but you can be content knowing that you gave it your all.  Mentioned in this episode: National Geographic Documentary Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric  Sam Killermann, author of A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook Information for the allies in your life: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide     * * *  Get in touch, I'm happy to hear from you or answer questions. Like what you hear? Consider supporting my podcast with Buy Me A Coffee

Telling friends or acquaintances that your spouse or partner has come out as transgender requires preparation. First, you need to reach a stage where you accept that this transition is reality. This way, you are ready for the relief, acceptance, or rejection that follows. Two things I've learned at this point: 1) people you know may surprise you in the best ways and 2) you can handle any outcome. Things to consider before telling friends and acquaintances: Does that person need to know? Who or why are you sharing the news? Preparation: figure out what you want to say and keep it simple Who is going to deliver the news? How are you going to deliver it? Allow people a chance to react Be okay with the outcome Mentioned in this episode: National Geographic Documentary Gender Revolution: A Journey with Katie Couric Sam Killermann, author of A Guide to Gender: The Social Justice Advocate's Handbook Information for the allies in your life: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF file) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide

Telling your child or children that a parent is coming out as transgender is one of the scariest moments. There is a lot of fear of the unknown; so many questions and sleepless nights leading up to sitting them down to share the news. Two things I've learned: 1) how you and your spouse or partner treat one another will impact your child and 2) kids really are resilient. Mentioned in this episode and extra resources: PFLAG (PFLAG International) COLAGE  Muppet Babies Gonzo-Rella episode, Season 3, Episode 19 Book - The World Needs More Purple People Book - It's Okay to be Different Book - Red: A Crayon's Story More books -  a great list on the Mombian website UCLA The Williams Institute: Data Regarding Transgender Parents (2020) Article: How LGBTQ+ Parents Can Handle Coming out to Their Children Article: Here's a Way to Start a Conversation with Kids...  Article - Coming Out Trans to your Kids Article - Going from "Daddy" to "Mommy": What will I Tell My Kids Lambda Legal: FAQ About Transgender Parenting   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide  

It is normal to feel grief when a spouse or partner comes out as transgender, this is a big change. Give yourself time to work through the emotions and focus on how you would like your future to look. Take the steps, write down goals, to move toward a new version of happy. Mentioned in this episode: OurVoices podcast, season 4, episode 4 with guest Priscilla Tuft HER podcast with Gabbi and Priscilla Tuft   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide  

This episode focuses on therapy and support groups after a spouse or partner comes out as transgender. Throw out any stigmas about therapy and keep moving forward.  Mentioned in this episode: PFLAG National and International (great organization, highly recommend) Local example - Pacific Center for Human Growth Local example - Ingersoll Gender Center Psychology Today   Other places for partners to seek support or find a similar group/community: Reddit group: My Partner is Trans Facebook: there are several groups for spouses/families OurPath (recommend the podcast)   Podcast site: evolving list of resources   Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide    

Disclosure: the moment you find out your spouse or partner is transgender. It's like a Hollywood produced explosion minus the special effects. Results are permanent but be patient and give yourself time to grieve, be angry, adjust, and accept. In this episode, six coping methods are mentioned from a graphic in an article online. I was not the target audience for the article itself but the graphic helped me take a step forward: Six Ways to Cope when Your Spouse Comes out as Gay written by Sheri Stritof.    Other stories with spouses or family members of a transgender person:  The Cut: My Husband is Now my Wife: Trans Women's Wives on Their Own Dramatic Transformations Chicago Tribune: Suburban Wife Loves the Person, Not the Gender, After Spouse Comes out as Woman YouTube Channel: The Rage   Information for allies: PFLAG Guide to Being a Trans Ally (PDF) GLAAD Tips for Allies of Transgender People National Center for Transgender Equality ally guide Human Rights Campaign ally guide  

Trailer for Straight Wife Trans Life podcast. Follow the journey of a straight wife after her husband comes out as trangender after 13 years of marriage. First episode drops January 1.