Surviving BPD Relationship Breakups

Quiet BPD 10 Reasons It Destroys RelationshipsQuiet BPD 10 reasons it destroys relationships. Often people in a relationship with someone with Quiet BPD, also known as the Discouraged BPD Subtype, it can take quite a while to understand that your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife has Quiet BPD. People with Quiet BPD internalize most, if not all of their splitting, fear of abandonment, push/pull, relational issues etc and often partners think that the "problem" is they just drink too much, or they just are hot and cold. Identifying that a person with Quiet BPD in your life actually has Borderline Personality can be difficult and the off/on ghosting cycles of many Quiet Borderlines can be so confusing. Quiet BPD is not someone being "less Borderline" or having BPD only mildly.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

10 Ways BPD Relationship Recycling Increases Your Suffering10 ways that BPD relationship recycling actually strengthens your suffering and the trauma/fantast bond hurting you more and activating your nervous system over and over again in ways that are unhealthy, stressful, anxiety-producing and extremely painful. It is so important that people with Codependency recognize why you need the harm reduction of ending BPD relationship recycling and going full no contact and getting into your own therapy and healing process.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Love is a Reverse FairyTaleWhat starts like a pseudo BPD relationships fairytale in reverse ends in emotional devastation—and you're left wondering what happened. In this episode, I explore why relationships with someone with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and their supposed"Love" feel and are experienced like a reverse fairytale: magical in the beginning, somewhere along the way, sooner or later, traumatic in the end or the many on-going unsuccessful ends in the trauma bond.You'll learn why the intense beginning isn't real intimacy, isn't real "love" and how idealization flips into devaluation, and why the cycle never leads to a “happily ever after.” This episode is a compassionate wake-up call for those still hoping to get back to “chapter one.” You get what you think is the "happy-ever-after" in the beginning and that starts to unravel into the exact opposite.If you've been stuck in a looping pseudo love story that keeps breaking your heart, it's time to understand the pattern—and reclaim your own narrative by breaking free of the quest to get back to the magical fairytale reverse beginning of idealization and intermittent reinforcement of a toxic love passed off as a fantasy that you don't want to admit now.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

Enmeshed in a BPD Relationship? 5 Codependent Hooks Fueling CyclesAre you enmeshed in a BPD relationship? Why can't you let go—even when it's hurting you? This Codependency Inside Out, surviving cluster B episode explores the 5 trauma-rooted codependent hooks that keep you psychologically and emotionally enmeshed, fueling the cycles, in a relationship with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder.From rescuing and self-abandonment to enmeshment and fantasy bonding, you'll learn how these unconscious patterns pull you deeper into the storm—and how to finally begin breaking free.You'll Learn:– What enmeshment really is and why it feels like love– How your nervous system mistakes chaos for connection– Why self-erasure becomes a survival strategy– How to reclaim your identity and rebuild your boundaries

BPD Frustration IntoleranceBPD Frustration Intolerance explains one of the most confusing, crazy-making, and painful dynamics loved ones face in relationships with someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder. In this episode, I unpack why ordinary limits, boundaries, or small disappointments can trigger emotionally explosive reactions, chaos, and betrayal cycles. No matter how any times you try to calm a person with BPD down, jump to their demands, apologize for what they are doing to you, try to help them emotionally regulate, you cannot stop these betrayal cycles.In the betrayal cycles and through all the demands and the Borderline (protective) entitlement as they shame you and blame you and "hold you responsible" in their projective identification they have no real-time emotional awareness of YOU, of what YOU are feeling, of what YOU are going through. They don't care after each and every one of these betrayal cycles. YOU won't be seen or heard or empathized with, understood, or apologized to either.In this podcast episode you will learn and I hope gain clarity about:What frustration intolerance really means in the context of BPDHow trauma and emotional dysregulation fuel these reactionsWhy the cycle creates a false promise of peace that never lastsThe toll it takes on partners, family members, and friendsWhy this makes BPD relationships unsustainablehttps://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

7 Reasons Why BPD Relationships FailWhy do relationships with someone who has untreated Borderline Personality Disorder so often end in heartbreak? In this episode, I share the 7 key reasons why BPD relationships fail — explained with compassion, depth, and clarity. Whether you're the partner, the ex, or someone living with BPD yourself, you'll gain insight into the emotional patterns that make love feel intense yet unstable — and why love alone isn't enough to keep it alive without healing and change.This is not about blame. It's about Codependents' truth, self-understanding, and reclaiming your peace by healing, breaking the trauma bond and reclaiming your own personal power and creating a healthier and more functional relationship to and with yourself.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonhttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This podcast and my Youtube FeedThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Mirror Holds No Internal Reflection: You are *Unseen* If you've ever loved someone with untreated Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and felt like they never truly saw you — this episode explains why. Through the lens of BPD fragmentation, we uncover how their “mirror” doesn't reflect you at all, but instead the broken, distorted image of a wounding parent from their past. You'll learn:Why the “mirror” of a person with BPD is cracked from early relational trauma.How loved ones become trapped in distorted roles they can't escape.Why no amount of love or explanation can make them see the real you.The first step to freeing yourself from their reflection and reclaiming your identity.If you've felt invisible, miscast, or frozen in the wrong role — this episode will give you the clarity you need to step out of their fragmented mirror "reflection" of you for good.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new Course Modules coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

The BPD Love ParadoxWhy does someone with Borderline Personality Disorder crave deep love—only to destroy it when it arrives? In this episode of Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcast I explore the heartbreaking paradox at the center of BPD. From self-fulfilling prophecies and defensive splitting, to the tragic pattern of testing love until it breaks, A.J. Mahari compassionately unpacks why intimacy feels both irresistible and terrifying to those with BPD. Whether you're loving someone with BPD or navigating the disorder yourself, this episode offers clarity, empathy, and a path toward healing.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

The BPD Fantasy Why Codependents Are Stuck(From My Codependency Inside Out Surviving Cluster B Podcast)The BPD Fantasy of who you thought they were and then that loss, over and over again, is why Codependents are stuck in the Fantasy and Trauma Bond abandoning self not knowing how to face your own multi-layered pain now. The idea of letting go feels like an imminent ending to who you used to be, who you have lost in the BPD relationship that was a BPD Fantasy.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Fragmented Self Blocks Connection and CommunicationBPD fragmented self blocks connection and communication. I dive deeply into the core reason a person with (especially untreated) BPD cannot hear you or see you. These are toxic relationships. When you are relating to a person with BPD in any relationship type, there is no "we". No mutuality, no reciprocity. They don't see you or hear you and in this podcast episode I get to the core of why and how Borderline Personality is a relationship disorder of disconnection and inability to attach and communicate that persists due to the fragmented lack of self in every person with Borderline Personality (unless and and until extremely well treated over 8-16 years in a psychodynamic modality of specialized BPD treatment.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD Triggers ExplainedBPD Triggers Explained. What do you still need to understand or understand more about people with Borderline Personality and what triggers them and why? Do you still feel like their triggered responses, emotional dysregulation, splitting on you and blaming you for everything means that their triggers are your fault?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

Is Codependency Really an Addiction?From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships PodcastAn often asked, and I think, an often misunderstood question where Codependency is concerned. My answer in this podcast to "Is Codependency Really an addiction" with my 35 years  experience working with clients in Codependency recovery is, "yes" and "no" and I think that this approach gives my clients the best of "both" possible asserted "understandings" of Codependency.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Surviving BPD Relationship Breakup Podcasthttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcasts

BPD Ego Syntonic vs Ego Dystonic & BPD Alloplastic DefensesIn BPD people with (especially) untreated BPD have ego syntonic alloplastic defense mechanisms. This leaves so many people who were or are still trying to relate to someone with BPD as a partner, friend, favorite person, etc walking on eggshells and at the same time experiencing crazy-making painful toxic relational dynamics.What does BPD Ego syntonic alloplastic defenses truly mean for you? People with BPD here you mention a feeling of yours and feel that you are attacking them.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

Borderline Persecutory Object - Invisible Partners and ExesBorderline persecutory object, a psychoanalytic concept, within Objects Relations Theory, that explains so much about Borderline Personality Disorder. This is the path to truly understanding the results of BPD splitting, perception, unconscious repetition compulsions re-experiencing and re-enactment in BPD that captures the core of understanding so many individual core elements of Borderline Personality disordered "relating" that just does not work.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.comhttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcast lists.

BPD Misinformation Hurts Borderlines and CodependentsBPD misinformation hurts people with Borderline Personality and it hurts Codependents and loved ones. There is growing "professional misinformation" about BPD out there, and it doesn't help anybody heal. BPD is not 100% heritable, nothing like that is known at all. BPD is a combination of nature and nurture (lack of nurture). People with BPD can recover. People with BPD are not all the same and the globalized narrative by so many who have been traumatized by someone with BPD serves no one. Every individual with BPD is an individual just as every person with Codependency is also an individual.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025Million Podcasts has ranked this podcast in the top 60 Codependency Podcasts,the top 100 Narcissistic Abuse Podcasts and the top 100 in their Toxic RelationshipPodcasts lists.https://www.millionpodcasts.com/codependency-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/narcissistic-abuse-podcasts/https://www.millionpodcasts.com/toxic-relationship-podcasts/

BPD “Remission” Flawed & False HopeBPD remission is very difficult to define or describe or even rely on apart from a very not helpful base definition of it. BPD remission is not a measurable constant across many, let alone most with BPD in treatment at all.Is BPD remission really a helpful measure for Codependents wanting to keep trying an unhealthy relationship? Does the definition of BPD remission make sense in any "standard" way that can be generally applied?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessionshttps://ajmahari.ca/podcasts - Podcastshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store new info Products coming soonThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Excusing BPD Behavior is Codependent ExternalizationExcusing BPD behavior is what so many people with Codependency do and it is a function of Codependent Externalization and need for taking more personal responsibility for yourself - not how anyone with BPD treated you terribly. It is important to get into a healing and recovery journey in therapy to break the trauma bond, learn to focus more on yourself, and to stop externalizing out your needs that can't be met by a person with BPD. Codependent needs that you need to learn how to meet internally for yourself.https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Bloghttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts This podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Sudden Shocking Discard BPD Ex is All Alone Now What Can You Do?BPD sudden shocking discard is devastating and leaves many an Ex of someone with BPD worried that their Ex wife or Ex husband with Borderline Personality or Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend with BPD may be all alone and what can you do to help them? Why do you still want to help them?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hourshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - PodcastThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Wanting to Make Amends to a BPD Ex is CodependentBPD Ex wanting to make amends to Borderline is codependent. Whether you are struggling with alcoholism in AA and wanting to make amends or substance abuse program recovery and wanting to make amends or not, just generally want to make amends to a BPD Ex itis highly NOT recommended that you do so. Maybe you feel guilty that you so hurt an Ex with BPD just by going no contact.It is not in your best interest at all to try to make amends to a BPD friend, Ex, or if you were their favorite person because it is Codependent action that isn't going to help you take care of you.Why is trying to make amends to a Borderline Ex, or in any relationship type Codependent and too risky for you?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hourshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - PodcastThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Does Going No Contact Make Your BPD Ex Think About You?Does going no contact after a BPD breakup, ghosting, or discard, make your Ex with BPD think about you? No contact is not a strategy to manipulate a Borderline. No contact is a serious action BPD Exes need to take as soon as one can to truly be engaging your own healing and to break the trauma bond. No contact is difficult, people often feel guilty. Learn more about the slippery slope of using no contact for anything but your own healing and recovery. It is totally not healthy to re-contact your BPD Ex or try to manipulate him or her to re-contact you in any attempts for closure, getting heard, trying to "make them" get how much they hurt you because it doesn't work.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions - Sessions https://ajmahari.ca/gottatalk - After Hourshttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - PodcastThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Abuse Called Out is Denied Deflected BPD LyingWhen people with BPD (usually untreated) are called out their abusive behaviour, words, actions, they deny, deflect, and defend. Is this because they have "memory loss" - they don't really know or remember what they did? Even when showed evidence they don't take any personal responsibility - they weaponize it and claim you have victimized them. It's crazy-making. Do they have memory loss or are people with BPD lying to escape personal responsibility and accountability?Why Codependents need to know what you know and believe that and not give any person with Borderline Personality the benefit of the doubt. People with BPD when you try to hold them accountable will turn it around on you and blame you for what they often are lying about saying they "don't remember" because they incapable of actually taking responsibility and/or accountability or doing anything about what you've called out because they can't repair ruptures either.https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Bloghttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - PodcastThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Want a BPD Ex Back? Fantasy Bond & Unanswered QuestionsWant a BPD Ex back? It's the fantasy bond and wanting answers to unanswered questions. Questions that most (especially untreated) with Borderline Personality don't know the answers to. They are too defended, more often than not, to even try to "communicate" with you. The fantasy of getting a BPD Ex back after they ghost you and END a relationship - it really has an end that most won't, don't and/or can't accept. It's fantasy bonds and unconscious Codependent repetition compulsions that continue to drive your limbo of lostness and agony with you believing you can somehow get them back, get answers, to make it work. That just does not work and you continue to abandon yourself in this process.https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Bloghttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - PodcastThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Unknowingly Loving a Borderline Suddenly GhostedUnknowingly loving a Borderline and suddenly ghosted? Wondering what on earth just happened? Maybe you know now you were loving a Borderline and were suddenly ghosted. It's a terribly traumatic experience knowingly or unknowingly. Many in wanting the BPD Ex back relationship recycle and may have been ghosted multiple times.Everyone wants the Borderline back immediately. The pain of being ghosted is terrible. Many just want that pain to go away not realizing that if you can get your BPD Ex back you are only going to find temporary relief from your pain due to intermittent reinforcement - which will not last, just like these relationships and relationship recycling don't last.https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Bloghttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & morehttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & BlogThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD On/Off Relationship Can You Change To Make It Work?In a BPD on/off relationship? Are you wondering, can I change, like heal some Codependency, and have more energy and tolerance to make a BPD relationshipwork?Have you been ghosted and so want your BPD Ex back? Maybe you've beendiscarded, and you are emotionally terrified that you won't hear from that person ever again? What can you do to change? Anything? Can it work?https://ajmahari.ca/sessionshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast WebsiteThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Borderline Disconnectedness and Inability To RelateAs a BPD survivor, I recovered almost 40 years ago, I explain the deep and extremely pervasive abyss of Borderline Personality and the profound disconnectedness that drives all aspects of Borderline behaviour (abuse) and inability to relate in healthy, consistent, or congruent, even remotely healthy ways in relationships. https://ajmahari.ca/sessionshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast WebsiteThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Want BPD Ex Back Holding Out Hope?Are you holding out hope that you can get your BPD Ex back? Like so many people, most with Codependence, many Ex's of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, continue to give so much power and control of their lives, and selves to a person with BPD. If you really believe that you need to contact your BPD Ex because if they respond angrily or in further devaluation of you then, and only then, they will "force" you into to having to accept that the "relationship is really over?" Your relationship is, actually, already over. If you make contact and reverse hoover your BPD Ex and they devalue you again, you are not going to be able to actually then just move on. You are trapped in the fantasy bond and the deeper trauma bond. Therapy is your only way out of all the pain and rumination.https://ajmahari.ca/sessionshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast WebsiteThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Arrested Emotional Development and Object Other RelatingBPD arrested emotional development and Object Other Relating. For more people than not with Borderline Personality (male and female) their early childhood emotional development arrests by or before the age of 2 years. People with BPD and/or all the patterns of BPD were not able in childhood to go through the crucial stages of early childhood development and that arrested emotional development is when and why people with BPD don't know who they are.https://ajmahari.ca/sessionshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast WebsiteThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Lost Yourself To A Borderline?Have you lost yourself to Borderline? A partner, Ex partner, girlfriend or boyfriend, or person close to you with Borderline Personality Disorder? Are you aware of Codependency? Are you learning any helpful lessons?One man blames God, calling him a "farce" after a relationship with a woman, who "trapped him into her getting pregnant" and now thinks the "farce relationship" was his relationship to and with God, when it was really the BPD relationship. This man whose comments I respond to also thinks, now, that God can't exists because Borderlines exist.Whether you can relate or not to this man's blaming God instead of the person with BPD and taking his small piece of personal responsibility or not please listen to see if you can relate and substitute your own lostness and feeling separated by something you valued in your life and/or about yourself before the devastation of the BPD relationship.ajmahari.ca/sessionssurvivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcast WebsiteThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy BondingBPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationshipcreates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable senseof self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". Afterthe person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not everbe able to be re-idealized.People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness)feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your senseof self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation starthappening.If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusingintensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginningand how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feelsnext to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capturethe elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who youthought the person with BPD was.https://ajmahari.ca - Sessions - Contact - Bloghttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - Podcasts & Bloghttps://ajmahari.com - Online Store - Ebooks & moreThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Borderline Betrayal and Its Insidious Impact on YouBorderline betrayal and its negative, painful impact on you.Anyone close to any person with BPD will experience BorderlineBetrayal and the very real consequences to "self" that result fromBPD betrayal. People with Codependency have a suggestible enough core woundthat the impact of Borderline betrayal causes untold damage,rumination, cognitive dissonance, self-abandonment, and often longingfor the person with BPD who betrayed you to still be in relationship with youor needing so badly to understand, to not feel like everything was your fault.The immense struggle of lack of closure also takes its toll in more cases than not.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.comThis podcast is ranked in the Top 100 Relationships Podcasts on feedspot.com at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

BPD Awareness Can't Save RelationshipsBPD awareness can't save relationships and doesn't mean changed behaviour (spelling Canadian now :) When a person with BPD hasintellectual awareness and can even talk about things at times, too many partners get fooled. Why fooled? Because too many people think that BPD awareness means "they get it" they can change. But emotionally, they don't get it. Whenever a person with BPD is triggered that awareness is lost and behaviour and lack of personal responsibility keep happening.BPD awareness without therapy can't save relationships and doesn't translate into actual change or better relating or any increased understanding of how they effect others. Codependents often feel more fantasy false hope believing that what a person with BPD can say intellectually, between episodes means "hope" for change and the relationship - sadly, this is not true.https://ajmahari.ca/sessionshttps://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com -

BPD Stable Before Relationship Rupture? Was My Ex Like Sherri Papini?A commenter asks how could my BPD Ex be fine in a relationship for 4 years and suddenly be so unstable? Is a person with BPD stable in a relationship until they aren't? A BPD Ex compares his ex to Sherri Papini - any similarity to a thought to be "stable" partner who then suddenly shows how unstable they are? Does the length of a relationship with someone BPD have anything to do with whether or not they have stability? People with BPD are not emotionally stable people.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.comThis podcast is included in the top 100 Relationship Podcasts on Feedspot at:100 Best Relationship Podcasts You Must Follow in 2025

Borderlines Are Not Relationship WorthyBorderlines are not relationship worthy. They lack a self, have no object constancy and have relational and communication deficits. People with BPD feel very unworthy. They struggle without a known "self" to have any positive regard for "self" or "other". People with BPD often really don't like themselves and this is projected out on to anyone that gets close until a person with BPD can't cope with being close.People with BPD need extensive therapy in a psychodynamic modality of treatment that takes years so that they can find the lost "self" and among other things, develop and nurture their own self-worth first.Codependents also struggle with their own self-worth and need to learn in their healing and recovery that they are worth more than settling for a one-sided 'situationship' with someone with BPD. You deserve to be consistently seen and heard!https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

BPD Breakup Ghost or Discard Is Not Your FaultBPD breakup, ghosting, or discard is not your fault. People with suspected BPD, diagnosed BPD untreated (or not fully treated) can't stop the ghosting or discards and neither can you. People with BPD often feel out of control in relationships and people with Codependency try to help, rescue, fic and change them. They need years of therapy that they would fully engage in to ever be able to have a healthy, age-appropriate relationships with healthy communication. It takes years of therapy for people with BPD to unlearn maladaptive defenses - namely splitting and all-or-nothing thinking along with not taking everything personally and to build and create a container of self. No matter how many times you recycle as a Codependent with an untreated person with BPD nothing can change. Each relationship recycle you just experience more and more of the same.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com

BPD Relationship Rollercoaster Causes Codependent Rumination Need For Closure Blocking RecoveryBPD relationship rollercoaster causes Codependent rumination and need for closure to be so strong that this becomes a major block to breaking the fantasy bond with a Borderline Ex and people healing from the relationship and from Codependency. Each and every Borderline episode that leads to splitting to devaluation and blaming of a partner causes partners or loved ones in any relationship type to ruminate, and need closure, episode after episode through an entire relationship - not just after the breakup, ghosting, or BPD discard.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions https://survivingbpdrelationshipbreakup.com - This Podcast's New Interactive Website

Borderline Projection Through an Eternal Victim LensBorderline Projection onto friends, partners, Ex's, etc comes from his or her eternal victim lens and persona. The false self exists to protect the victimized borderline lose self. There is no excuse for BPD abuse because a high percentage of them were SA's in childhood, not given love, not taught any coping skills. These childhoods are often tragic. But, another core reality in Codependents trying to rescue, fix, and change the borderline to make a relationship work is that they are still emotionally young child-like victims of the lost self.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Two Codependents in Relationship After Previous Cluster B Relationships & Counter-DependencyThis is Epidsode 9 From my Codependency Surviving Cluster B Relationships PodcastCan two people both be Codependent in a relationship years after each had a BPD or NPD relationship with an Ex? A commenter asked if two people can be Codependent in a relationship with each other and can both manifest codependency more as counter-dependency when each person in the relationship has had a previous Cluster B relationship?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderline Mixed Signals & Codependent Fantasy Bond CyclesBorderline's mixed signals and Codependent fantasy bonds. Borderlines in relationships give endless mixed signals like telling you how much they love after traumatizing behaviour or while still ghosting you, or after having ghosted or even for years discarded you. Saying in Hoovers, they love you, they need to figure out how to let you go - end the relationship - but they don't know how. Meanwhile you love them, you focus on them to the detriment of yourself as an Ex and Codependent. You need to let that BPD Ex go, but, you don't know how.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Tattoos and Piercings - Why pw/BPD Get  More Than AverageBorderlines Tattoos and Piercings - why people with BPD get more tattoos and/or piercings than non-Borderlines. A commenter (on Youtube) asked if a woman has an excessive amount of tattoos, could this be a dating red flag that she has BPD. I answer this question about Borderlines and tattoos and explain why people with BPD do, in fact, have many more body modifications- tattoos and piercings than those without BPD and several key reasons why people with Borderline Personality get tattoos and piercings so often. In a high percentage of a study they found that 22.41% of people with BPD had tattoos over at least 10% of their bodies.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Relationship Ruptures Are All Relationships Just Hard Work?BPD relational ruptures and an answer to a Codependent commentor's question are BPD and all relationships just hard work wherein I explain the differences between BPD relationships and healthy relationships. I also answer the question, "How can you tell if it's the person with BPD or yourself as a Codependent?" In other words, is it my BPD partner and his or her BPD or is it me, the Codependent? Why do so many with Codependency believe that they are to blame for BPD relationship ruptures and BPD relationship impossibility? https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

10 Ways To Help A Borderline - Fact or Myth10 ways to help a Borderline are they fact or myth? I created a list of 10 ways to help a Borderline based on several different professional sources. As to whether these ways to help a person with BPD are helpful or harmful for you - fact or myth, I explain in this podcast why any loved one, Codependent person, loving a Borderline, will only make everything worse for themselves if you try these ways to help. Then again, many in their Codependent denial and BPD relationship impossibility may already be trying or have tried these 10 ways to help a Borderline.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Having Children - The Heartbreak of BPD Ex Loss or Co-ParentingBorderlines having children wound them (more often than not) and the heartbreak of BPD Ex's loss or Co-Parenting. Whether the Borderline Parent is the mother or the father, each will wound his or her children. A commenter lost his child to a borderline's lack of care. Co-parenting with a male or female with BPD is for most a nightmare that no matter what the BPD Ex does wounds your child or children. If you are younger, dating a borderline or not sure, be careful. It's not healthy to have a child with an untreated person with BPD.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Don't Make You Sacrifice YourselfBorderlines (or a BPD/NPD person) doesn't make you sacrfice yourselves as Codependents. A.J. Mahari adds in her experience on breaking free from her BPD/NPD Ex. Do you blame your BPD or BPD/NPD Ex for everything? What you need to know about your own personal responsibility that is necessary for healing change. You are not to blame for what a BPD or BPD/NPD did to you. But blaming them for your missed choice points that absolutely feel impossible won't help you break free of the betrayal bond. Not taking your own personal responsibility for Codependent choices made (consciously or unconsciously) aside from all that any BPD or BPD/NPD is responsible for will keep you stuck and will increase your suffering.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Triggers Explained & Why They Are So Crazy-MakingBPD triggers are explained and why they are so crazy-making. What you really need to know about BPD triggers that so many don't realize. What is the core of impossibility with BPD triggers? Why are BPD triggers central to endless lack of taking personal responsibility or accountability that is so crazy-making? BPD triggers are affecting you and part of how you as a partner, loved one, family member, of someone with BPD are losing yourself. You must stop care-taking for the person with BPD in your life. Stop trying to get the person with BPD to see how their triggered dysregulated emotion is hurting you because they just don't get it!https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

What Is BPD Transient Paranoid Ideation?What is Borderline Transient Paranoid Ideation? What does it mean? How can does it manifest for people with BPD and how can you recognize it and understand its scope and effect on you? Why does this trait (number 9) along with how it drives BPD splits to devaluation cause so many BPD Breakups and so much heartbreak for people who loves someone with Borderline Personality Disorder?https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

Borderlines Just Aren't That In To You & The Emptiness of BPD IdealizationBorderlines just aren't that in to you, Codependents. The incredible emptiness of BPD idealization takes a long time to understand because it felt so great and felt and was too good to be true. BPD idealization just as BPD devaluation isn't about YOU. It's about who you represent unconsciously to un-treated person with Borderline Personality Disorder. You think you can do better, give more, understand more and do it differently and that it will make a difference - Nope! Codependents also often believe that they are so to blame for why people with BPD act out, act in, punish, as you walk on the impossible egg-shells. No matter what you, as a Codependent try to do differently, promise, change, fix and so on  - NONE OF IT will work because you are insignificant (for who you really are) to the Borderline.For the Borderline, it's all about the Borderline. You are just the "object other" that they blame. They don't actually ever get to know who you really are as you lose yourself more and more to their lost selves as they seek to use (unconsciously often) to just survive. There's no excuse for what they do to you in their attempts (all about them) to just survive, seeking identity through you but not ever seeking to truly KNOW you!https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

You Can't Give Borderlines What They Need They Don't Want It From You AnywayCodependents can't give your Borderline what he or she needs. People with BPD really don't want what they need from you anyway. It's a lose-lose situationship. People with Codependency can't help a partner, or any loved one with BPD, you lost yourself trying, you don't get your needs met. And you can't satiate a person with BPD and the more you try, and try to love them, the more you will punished for your love and care. Codependents need to unlearn childhood woundedness and how it is repeating in all your externalizing out and endless focus on someone with BPD and on Borderline Personality Disorder itself. What about you?https://ajmahari.ca/session

BPD Devaluation Introjected Codependent Responsibility Stop Internal Re-woundingBPD devaluation and damage is introjected by Codependents. People with Codependency have a responsibility to stop internally re-wounding themselves internally. People with BPD damage people with Codependency who try to love them. Once you know what is happening, or what happened it is your responsibility to get into therapy and out of the relationship to break the betrayal bond and to learn how to stop over-focusing on the your Borderline Ex. It's so important to get out of denial and to stop abandoning yourself.Codependency denied only exacerbates the internal critic that continues to internally re-wound your inner child and createsand continues your own inner critic to judge you so harshly as likely you were judged in childhood and by your BPD Ex.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive DissonanceBPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave people with Codependency essentially pissing into the wind - as if that would be any reality of "taking a shower". These relationships ruptures often ending over and over again, also can be likened to the title of Judge Judy's book, "Don't Pee on My Foot and Tell Me it's Raining" Trying to continue in the Codependent fantasy as this commenter I respond to does (with quite a twist near the end) means that in the cognitive dissonance of it all, the intermittent reinforcementof the still not broken trauma  bond, so many with Codependency, on/off partners, Ex's in a limbo place as well continue to actually "piss into the wind" in a fantasy illusion that to do wo would mean you have taken a "shower". In a relationship with an undiagnosed and/or untreated person with patterns of or with BPD being stuck in cognitive dissonance trying to figure out the Borderline, continuing to abandon yourself, perhaps as this commenter, while believing a desperate delusion that  his Ex is getting closer to recovery or somehow will is the most agonizing height of so much pain and all of its rumination thatyou feel like you just can't stop obsessing on. See if you relate, at least in part, to this commenter and his torment of Codependent denial and not really understanding BPD while at the same time he truly pisses into the wind as if he awaits an actual shower.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD NPD Who is The Person Behind The Idealization & Love Bombing?So many people who have been in a relationship with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder or BPD with Co-Morbid Narcissistic Personality Disorder are caught in a trauma bond ruminating and trying to figure out who is the person behind the idealization and love bombing when there isn't a "real person" inside at all, only a false self. The intermittent reinforcement within the trauma bond with someone with BPD or BPD/NPD keeps Codependents stuck in circles of (often misinformation) trying to give their own explanations oroffer up erroneous ones or misinterpretations taken from perhaps listening to or reading too many contradictory sources online.The person you fell in love with doesn't exist. The person behind the idealization and the love bombing is the false self that protects the lost self in Borderlines and Narcissists.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions

BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To HealBPD Breakup or discard is so painful and so confusing for so many peoplewho have, but may not realize it, Codependency. Getting into therapy and going no contact is the way to identify your codependent part in the dynamicand to heal. Choose to no longer stay stuck in excessive obsessive focus onthe Borderline and what they did, why they did it because that focus willkeep the trauma bond in tact. You need to break that betrayal bond in orderto heal.https://ajmahari.ca/sessions